Hi all!


While I've been out of commission, I've kept myself busy by working on random online projects - icons, websites, and keeping up with pop culture gossip. ohnotheydidnt has alerted me to two very, very important things: one, that Alan Rickman, Johnny Depp, and Sacha Baron Cohen will be starring in the Sweeney Todd movie (ovaries the world over will be exploding come opening day); and two, that this is probably the best video clip ever - Madonna, .5 seconds of Noel Fielding, and Sacha Baron Cohen all in one handy vid!

I have a TON - I mean a TON - of icons to post, which I will link to in a subsequent post. I will also be making a holiday-themed music post, friends-locked for "security," of course, so look out for that soon!

I hope everyone is having a fantastic holiday season. I'm so sorry to have not been keeping up with your journals, flist - I have checked up every once in awhile but have not commented - I haven't had much to say! Again, I really do apologize for being a lousy LJ friend...

Take care everybody! I hope to post more often now. Which may or may not be a good thing! ;) :D

Cheery bye, Scarlett

I'm still alive, and am actually doing pretty OK. Perhaps my newly upped dosage of one of my meds will start having an effect...?

One new development - I'm going to be going back to doing CBT (Cognitive Behavioral Therapy) as soon as possible. Turns out my new fantastic psych wants me to start it up again, but with someone new. So we're in the process of deciding upon a new CBT therapist. This is a good thing. I do need the therapy, because meds can only do so much...

Anywho, my family and I will be making our annual trek to Solomon's Island over the weekend (Friday and Saturday, then go home on Sunday afternoon). For as long as I can remember, we've visited Solomon's at some point during October. It's kind of a mini-vacation that doubles as an anniversary celebration for my parents, who were married on Oct 15 aeons ago. ;)

Solomon's is lovely, a very quiet little place with gorgeous views of the Chesapeake and lots of neat shops to visit, plus has a wonderful museum with all sorts of nautical paraphernalia. (My parents LOVE anything to do with the ocean, sailing, that sort of thing - my mom particularly adores lighthouses, so it's neat that SI has a beautiful lighthouse that you can take a tour of.)

So when I get back, I shall post piccies. :)

Speaking of piccies...

I yoinked this from ailcia, but I also saw a post from moribundlust with this meme. :)

o1 - List your top 10 celebrity crushes
o2 - Put all of them IN ORDER of your lust for them
o3 - Say which movie/show it was that hooked you
o4 - Supply photos for said stars
o5 - Tag five people

I won't tag anyone, but if you'd like, please do it! :)


Whew! If you got through that, congrats! ;)

Oh yeah! There was this meme about gay rights going around, where if you truly support gay rights you'll post it in your journal. I can't find it again, so just take my word for it, even without the highly official meme text, that I am a total supporter of gay rights. :)

And that's about it! :) Cheery bye, Scarlett

Thanks for the sweet comments you guys left - I really, really appreciate them. :D :D *hugs flist* Also, I'm glad you enjoyed the tunes! :)


Now for my school situation. Time for another LJ-cut! (Don't worry, it's short!)

Well, I hope this post wasn't too boring. I'm making a ton of screencaptures from the Beatles movie Help! and am going to make a bunch of icons, so I'll probably be posting them soon. zutulu42 had a great icon theme idea - icons of smart dead guys with the caption "teh sex" (or whatever)! :D Because smart is sexy. :) Anyone else have any other requests? I'm always happy to make icons! :D

Take care everyody! Hopefully from now on, my posts will be a little less mental. ;)

Cheery bye, Scarlett

Not much to update with, but... yeah. :)

Quick OCD update - still just waiting for the consult. I'm doing relatively well right now, so I hope it lasts for awhile!

How's about a meme? :)

Ask me for my top five of anything you want to know!

Ask whatever you'd like! :D

Take care everybody! Cheery bye, Scarlett

(BTW - I plan on making a bigger, icon-and-music-filled post tonight!)

First things first - new layout! scarlett_h :) Thank you for voting! It was a close race, with Troughton and Georgie being the popular votes. Troughton's era will probably be the subject of my next layout if you all have anything to do with it! :D :D

Been away awhile - just been having some rough times with the ol' OCD, and I haven't felt up to posting. Even a simple post take a little bit of effort, and I just... yeah.

I had my appointment I mentioned before (the first one; the big Johns Hopkins consult is later - on the 30th, not the 31st) last Thursday. The psychologist was fantastic; I wish I could see her regularly but 1) she can't prescribe meds (she isn't an MD), and 2) it's too far away. But, she was terribly wise and it was like we had our own language. I would describe one of my symptoms and she would understand immediately. She understood the little intricacies of OCD so well an "real" issue, but isn't. She implied that my psych was treating my OCD worries like real problems, and that's the wrong way to do it. You can't rationalize irrationalities, is basically what she said.

She cleared up some questions I had, and wouldn't answer others - cos that would be treating the OCD like an issue! :) She was so friendly and very intelligent. I'm just going on about her because I know that it's popular to think all psychs are quacks, but there are some really helpful ones out there. :)

She suggested some other psychs to try, and so we'll look into them. On to the next appointment!

Despite the success of the appointment, I'm still having trouble. Because, as I often say :), it's irrational and just won't stop. But life isn't all OCD for me, as I will prove in the following paragraph. :)

My 20th b'day is next week (the 21st), and that weekend we (my family and I - that's who I'm referring to whenever I say "we" in a post!) are going to stay in Baltimore overnight to make sure we get all the time we want at this amazing museum, the Walters. I went there on a field trip in my senior year and LOVED it, and we've been meaning to visit it as a family since. Since I'm a huge fan of museums, and it is a pretty special b'day year (you only turn 20 once!), we're making a weekend of it. We'll be going on Saturday and stay overnight, and then go home Sunday. After we get there we'll visit the museum, then go out to dinner, and then on Sunday we'll visit the museum again and then go home. There's so much stuff there it'll take two days to see it all! :) So I'm really looking forward to that. :D

One more quick thing - I mentioned to david_macgowan, who said he was worried about me, that he shouldn't worry. I'm much more aware this time around with my OCD issues of the effect my difficulties have on my family and those close to me. It hurts me to see them so worried about me. That's almost as hard as the OCD itself! So the last thing I want is for you guys to be concerned, too. Please, please, please don't worry about me - I may be having a yucky time, but I'm very optimistic and determined. So there's no need to be concerned. The only thing you should worry about is what my next batch of icons are going to be of! ;) :D (Probably Who and George Harrison, a pretty nice combination!)

I'll post more later, but I just wanted to let you all know I haven't fallen off the face of the earth. :) Take care! And thanks for your kind comments. As simple as you may think they are, they do mean a lot to me. :)

Cheery bye, Scarlett

ETA - Speaking of david_macgowan, check out the FANTASTIC limerick he wrote for me on the column to your left, under "Um... me!"! Thanks again!! :D :D

Phew. Made a boatload of Madonna icons last night, plus finished up some brush sets I was working on (and uploaded them, too!).


I've been making a bunch of caps from Spearhead from Space to make icons with - I feel the need to icon the Pertwee and Pertwee era. :) But I also feel the need to icon the Troughton era, too, so I shall be making caps from Tomb of the Cybermen later. Then, I think I'll make some Blackadder II icons, because I need to show that show some love. Anyone have any requests? :)

You know what? I do believe it's time for a change of layout. Over to you guys! :D


Why the random inclusion of George Harrison in the poll? I've been listening to a bit o' Beatles stuff recently, and as everyone already knows, they pwn. It just took me a little while to really catch on - I mean, I've loved the Beatles since I was a little thing, but mainly because my parents love 'em. I was raised (along with Muppets) on A Hard Day's Night and Help!, and Help! is still one of my all-time favorite movies (as is AHDN, but I just adore Help!). I guess I was a pretty shallow kid, because I counted myself as a Beatles fan because I thought they were cute! I did listen to their music a bit, but I was really little when I went through my Beatles phase (old enough, I suppose, to think George was the shiz), so I can barely remember what I listened to.

But the Beatles have always been a part of my life in whatever way, and I've finally started actually listening to them seriously. I won't go on about how amazing they are - as I said, I'm sure you know this! - but I will just say that... wow. Just... wow. They're damn good. (I did know this, but I'd never really realized it till now!)

Oh yeah. Why was George Harrison included? He was one of my first ever crushes and deserves a bit o' layout love. :)

Take care everybody! Cheery bye, Scarlett

ETA - If you're a Snakes on a Plane junkie, you have to check this site out. You can get a "personalized" message from Samuel L. Jackson himself! It was one of the great thrills of my life to hear him say my name. :D

Sorry for the update delay - had to get the pics on the computer, and kept forgetting to! :(

Anything new going on with you guys? :) Cheery bye, Scarlett

So I had my appointment with my psych on Friday, and it went pretty well. We're going to up one of the meds I'm on and see how that does. We're still going to get a second opinion on the meds, but this is good in the meantime. The most important thing, though, is that she once again reassured me that it's all OCD. Now let's see if I can keep that in mind and get better! :)

In celebration of the fact that I'm not in fact going crazy and tjhat it's just teh OCDness, you know what I'm gonna do? PICSPAM! :D


Icons shall be coming up this weekend - thank you guys for your suggestions! Keep 'em coming! :D

Take care! Cheery bye, Scarlett

Before the actual post... memes! If you have a chance, check 'em out, cos I need something to do. :) ;)


It's been awhile since I've posted! I've had a rough few days with the OCD, and this has got me really frustrated. I still need to give my meds time to kick in fully, but daggone it! I'm impatient to feel better! Ah well, I'm doing OK enough, I guess. The thoughts just still manage to bother me, but I'm a little more able to brush them off as OCD thoughts instead of indulging in ruminations.

On to happier things! I've been listening to a lot of music lately, so you're now going to have to suffer through some recommendations. ;)



An entry of mine can't go for long without a mention of Who, so, here ya go:

it's just that it... for once i think the girly romance stuff may have severely overshadowed the rest of the stuff - so says nostalgia_lj

I haven't been keeping up with the new series - I have this weird thing when I have OCD flare-ups where I won't let myself do fun stuff until I feel better, so that I can truly enjoy it. Yeah, I'm weird. Anyways... that doesn't sound good. Here are my thoughts on love and Doctor Who. I'm worried about how the new series is progressing, folks. It doesn't sound too good. Get back to exploring space, Doctor, not Rose!

Ooh! I started, because it's not like I don't have enough websites, a Dana International fanlisting! Do check it out, I worked kind of hard to make it look pwetty. Not many piccies are online of her so I really had to scrounge around. I hope it gets some members! :)

Icons will be coming soon, of a bunch of different subjects. My old mouse broke and I have to make do with a lesser-quality replacement, which has substantial lag time. And the left button sticks. This makes me sad, and iconless. :(

Enough complaining! Let's see... not much more to mention, really. Golly, I've written a lot. Well, guess I'll just be sayin' "cheery bye." :)

Cheery bye, Scarlett

*happy dance* I'M FEELING BETTER! Yes! The last few days, my med has kicked in a lot and I'm feeling really good! I had a chat with my psych today on the phone and cleared some lingering doubts up, and I'm really feeling fantastic! :D :D

Random bullet points o' doom!

• Taylor won! (on American Idol!) His 15 minutes of fame are probably up, but still, it was fun while it lasted. I'm actually going to miss AI now. As silly as the show is, I had a lot of fun keeping up with it these last few months (!).
• Yoinked from secretive_bus - this reminds me so much of something my brother would do. :)
• Via nostalgia_lj, I found this amusing post that finds visual evidence of similarities between Ten and an otter. Yes. Also via teh nos, I came upon a highly skientific poll by calapine where you choose which Doctor Who companions you'd do. Highly skientific. I chose Ian Chesterton, Steven, Jamie, the Brig (why not?), Benton, Harry Sullivan, Jack, and Fitz. What about you? :)
•  More icons of Madonna and Monty Python and Kylie!
  

Another yoinked thing - motivational posters!

Yet another yoinked thing - a Which Doctor Are You? quiz from the_10thdoctor!

Cheery bye, Scarlett

Random bullet points o' doom!

• OCD report - Psych gave the all clear to up the dosage of the SSRI I'm on, so I'm hopeful. I'm on the lowest dosage at the moment, which is why it hasn't done a thing to help, really. I'm just tired of feeling bad, you know? It's yucky. But things will get better. At least, they should! *shakes fist*
• Kylie's back in the studio! That poor thing. She's a fighter, that one!
• I've made yet more icons. It's an addiction, it really is! :)
• Addendum to this meme - I forgot to tag five peeps! Sod the five - everyone on my flist, consider yourself tagged. ;) Addendum to that addendum - david_macgowan pointed out: But which Doctor, scarlett? Surely not all!! (Hartnell????!?) :-) But Hartnell's hot stuff! I kid, I kid. Doctors to do, in order of preference: Fourth, Third, Eighth, and Tenth. I'd also consider Richard E Grant's 9th Doc. :)
• I've updated lunaestas.com with a new layout? Whaddya think?
• Taylor's in the final two on American Idol! This is gonna be fun! :D

That's about it for now! Cheery bye, Scarlett

Bullet points o' doom:

• House icons and Who and Peter Cook icons over at the Iconpile! :) Enjoy!
• I've only just found out about ailcia's kick-arse icon comm, so go now and join! And don't forget to go and join the_10thdoctor's equally kick-arse comm here! :D :D
• OCD report: Eh. But, for some reason, I'm feeling a bit OK today. I hope this lasts for awhile. I'm not, like, really happy or anything, but I'm not anxious every single moment. And that's the first step to recovery, folks! ;)
• I have my History final tomorrow (Wednesday) (wish me luck!), and then I'm done. FINALLY. This has truly been the year from hell. Truly. I cannot WAIT till I'm done with that test, because I swear I'm going to sleep like I've never slept before. And hopefully I'll keep improving!
• I've added a few pics over at T1AODN4, and have added links n' such to my Peter Cook site, and awhile ago I updated my Sandra site but only uploaded it a few days ago. :)
  

Cheery bye, Scarlett

Some bullet points o' doom:

• School Reunion wank. Ah, good ol' crazy Who fandom. I love you. :D Where do I stand on the "Doctor and sex" issue? I mentioned it in a post awhile ago -
  

The Doctor should not be romantic! You know? He's 'sposed to be an alien, and, I dunno, teh sex would just make him too human for some reason. It would just be too soap-opera-y if he ever did get lovey-dovey. BUT. In the fanfic universe - please, let the man get it on. That's fun to read. But, you know, officially? Nah...

And I stick by that. :) Doctor Who just shouldn't become a soap opera! :(

• My favorite movies! Stolen shamelessly from shiremint:
  

• And my favorite music DVDs:

• OCD report - took a supplemental med that I haven't used often (it helps concentration), but it helped to clear my head a bit today. Haven't had any really bad flare-ups all day! WHOOP! Let's hope this continues!! :D
• Frontier in Space is on PBS tonight (Who). I just felt like I'd mention it. That means The Green Death is next, and though I have watched it a bunch of times probably, I still really enjoy it and it's not cos of Professor Sexypants. It's a sweet story (well, the maggots aren't that sweet, but you know what I mean) and that last shot of the Doctor driving off into the sunset? Aw man! Sad. The DVD commentary is really good too. I think I wrote about that once...
• Here's my doll version of myself from the meme I posted below (please still do it if you feel like it! :D ):

And that's about it for now! Cheery bye, Scarlett

Probably of interest to david_macgowan :) :
Memes!



Some random bullet points o' doom. I don't know why I call them that, I just do!

• The OCD is... well, I don't know. I have really bad moments, moments of pure anxiety, that feel so awful. And then I have moments where the thoughts aren't as intense or troublesome. But I am feeling somewhat better - it's like, if the meds kick in soon, I'll be able to kick off the last remnants of this obsession.  You see, with HOCD, you become CONVINCED that it's NOT OCD.  My fear is that it's real, that the OCD is just masking something, and that I like the thoughts that I have such anxiety over. But - gasp! - none of that is true. Even as I write that I feel anxiety - "what if it is?" It's so irrational, OCD. I just need to let the meds take effect, and that takes time. That sucks, but, that's how things work with disorders, I guess. Most things take time, anyway. :/ *is impatient*
  
• I've updated the Peter Cook gallery with three lovely new pictures contributed by a very kind guy called Chris! Yay! :D
• Um... that's about it!

Cheery bye, Scarlett

Bullet points o' doom:

• House just... rules. Period. Such a fantastic show. "Get out of my temporal lobe, House." A pretty scary couple of eps, and the second one made me cry! I do so love this show. :D
• If you can believe it, I made even more icons.
• Taylor did an excellent job on American Idol, I think! He performed 'Play That Funky Music' and 'Something' and sang the heck out of 'em.
• Thanks, VH1.com, for updating me NOW about Natacha Atlas' new album. It would've been nice to have been updated when it was ACTUALLY released. *shakes fist at VH1.com*
• Of interest to the_10thdoctor :) - I added a bunch of new icon textures at Brush Fantastic, plus two 1024x768 textures.
• HAPPY BIRTHDAY JULIAN BARRATT!!
• Eh, OCD. It still sucks. I mean, man. This is so damn tiresome. BUT things have to get better, and today I've been a little tiny bit less stuck in my head (that looks funny written down). *shakes fist at OCD*
• *shakes fist again*

Take care everybody! Cheery bye, Scarlett

Yet more bullet points o' doom:

• And yet MORE icons!
• It's been forever since I added something to Brush Fantastic, my brush/textures site, but I finally updated it with a bunch of icon textures!
• It's been a bit of a rough day OCD-wise - probably spurred on by the fact that I had a group presentation today in class (it went much better than I thought it would!), which didn't help my nerves. But I'm still not as bad as I was even a week ago. It just takes time. :/
• More music babblings:
• Madonna will be releasing a CD/DVD of her I'm Going To Tell You A Secret documentary, which makes me happy, because apparently the CD has fresh takes on her old hits. I like that. :D
• My brother, bless 'im, is now a Beatles fan. He's been listening to The White Album non-stop. It's about time he listened to good music! ;) :D
• I hate Comcast, which is our internet provider. IT SUCKS MUCHLY. The connection is constantly going out. *shakes fist at Comcast*

That's about it for now! Cheery bye, Scarlett

( What effect do I have on people? )
More bullet points o' doom!

• I got through the speaking yesterday. I've had trouble with public speaking this semester, which is weird. Usually I can't wait to shoot my mouth off. ;)
• I gots mah hairs cut today! It's the shortest I've ever had it cut, and I really like it! :)
• I edited the layout on my blog site, cos it wasn't working the way it should before.
• I've been a bit anxious today, but it seems like it may be smooth sailing for the rest of the day. I just feel a little better, you know? It's a good thing. :)
• Yet more icons! It's a totally random hodgepodge of iconses.  Funny story about one (Richard Ashcroft) - back at the beginning of this semester, I got this music magazine because it had a "100 Greatest Albums" thing and I'm a sucker for countdowns. It also had an interview with Richard Ashcroft, and I'm guessing he's big in England (?) because the mag had a review of him and the back cover was an ad for his new album. I'd never heard of him, but I thought he was cute, but forgot about him until I came across a picspam the lovely ailcia did (she's the Queen of the Picspams!) and included - you guessed it - Ashcroft.  Now, ailcia is responsible for my Boosh fannishness, as she "introduced" me to them by way of squeeing about them all the time! ;) It looks like she may also be responsible for my newfound admiration of Ashcroft's music, because after I saw her picspam I thought "I'd like to know what the hoo-ha is about this fellow" and downloaded a song... or two... or... um. (Don't tell The Man!). He's great! "A Song For The Lovers" is absolute briliance. So anyways. Ailcia, you are the BEST, yo. :D Well, I think it's a funny story. It's just strange how things happen like that with me and things I like - there's always a story behind 'em!

I think that's all for now! Take care! Cheery bye, Scarlett

New layout, featuring the one and only Fourth Doctor! I do love him so. :D Thanks again muchly for voting!!

Now for some bullet points o' doom!

• Today was pretty OK - I only had a few nervous moments.  I have to speak in front of my History class tomorrow, which I'm not looking forward to, but I'll get through it.  It's a nice class anyway, so if I sound like a doofus that'll be OK. :)  I finished an assignment I have due Friday today, which is weird - I never finish work early! (This is probably because I've only got the one class now. But still. I'm usually a procrastinator.)
• I had a dream the other night that I was watching the next episode ('School Reunion') of Doctor Who, but Sarah Jane was the villain.  She doesn't make a very good bad guy.
• I downloaded the a capella of Cinque Milla by Dana International, which means that I'm probably going to attempt a crap remix at some point.  I absolutely adore that song, so it'd be a shame to ruin it with one of my mixes. ;)

That's all for now! Cheery bye, Scarlett

*slaps self* I've been awfully rude for not updating - I can't just talk about how I'm not doing OK and not follow up on it, cos it makes me sound worse off than I am! Although... well, I have had some really rough days. BUT. My meds have KICKED IN and I am starting to feel a little better! Actually, MUCH better than I did even a few days ago - it's really a day-by-day thing. I still have hard moments and bad days - but I really think that I'm getting better. Here's hoping my next post will be even cheerier! ;) :D

I just want to say that I really appreciate all y'all's such kind comments and good wishes - I truly appreciate them and silly as it may seem, they lifted my spirits just when I needed a lil' something to feel good about. If that makes any sense at all. ;) So - thank you.

I think this post needs some silliness and such!

• So who watched the Queen American Idol? It was wonderfully awful! There weren't really any stand-out performances to me, but there were some awful ones. The moment that irked me most was when Katherine sang the last line of Who Wants To Live Forever - she sang it all WEIRD. It's supposed to be dark, dramatic, and she... ew. It was all high-pitched and awful. Just... no. Harumph.
• Although I've been out of commission lately, I've used computer projects to distract myself, and thusly have some new stuff to show off. ;)
  
• I was approved to run the Sinead O'Connor fanlisting, which is pretty cool!
  
• The Peter Cook Gallery has a slick new look!
• I also cleaned up general stuff around the lunaestas.com sites - you know, the main site needs a new look (though I do love me some Noel Fielding!!) - anyone have any requests?

Speaking of layouts and requests - I do believe it's time for a new look for Fastidious & Precise! ( So, here's a poll for you cool peeps! :D )</lj-poll-714393>Cheery bye, Scarlett

I've just realized something, which although it doesn't actually make me feel any better at the moment, it does make a lot of sense and describes my obsession perfectly. I'll have to chat with my psych about it, but I think, with this obsession, I have what is called Pure "O" (Obsessional) OCD.

From Wikipedia... (emphasis mine)

• A person with Pure O experiences periods of intense rumination that are triggered by intrusive or unwanted thoughts, sometimes called "spikes."
• With standard OCD, the compulsions manifest as physical rituals: excessive hand-washing, checking, cleaning. With Pure O, the compulsions manifest as unseen mental rituals, but they are compulsions nonetheless, which is why the term "pure obsessional" is somewhat imprecise.
• To neutralize the perceived danger presented by the spike, the Pure O is compelled into rumination, an often intricate mental routine driven by a pressing need to "solve" the fear or uncertainty. Ruminations vary from person to person. One type of rumination may involve continually reconjuring an unpleasant scenario. Another example might be an effort to precisely recall the sequence and order of thoughts that led to the spike.
• Like most OCD sufferers, those with Pure O wrestle with their disorder on a daily basis. They also largely recognize that their obsessions and compulsions are irrational. But without OCD treatment, such cognitive awareness may be of little benefit while under the deeper grip of the disorder.

I dunno, I just found this really interesting. I'd heard the term before but hadn't thought to read anything about it (although a Google search probably doesn't really qualify as "reading" about it!).

As for how I'm doing right now... well, it's really an hour by hour thing. I can be OK enough for an hour or two, and spend the next few hours shaking and ruminating. The obsessional thought du jour is that I've really got a case of internalized homophobia, and I scared myself silly by Googling it and reading a bit about it. But, my anxiety has lessened and some sense has found its way back in my head and I realized that the thought that I have internalized homophobia is a crock of shit. I just have to keep telling myself that it's OCD and that as soon as my new med kicks in, my mind will be more at peace and my thoughts won't be so crazyish. I'm just venting - this, my friends, is seriously what a person with HOCD goes through. The weird thing is that I can see that I am not rational, but I just can't get above it - and that's why I need meds. All of my thoughts seem rational at the time! ;)

Have a good weekend, everybody! :)

Cheery bye, Scarlett