Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in Sean's LiveJournal:

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Sunday, July 20th, 2008
10:39 am	Clouds and dishes, laundry and lawns... It's a cloudy day... I am very fond of cloudy days. Unfortunately, there's also been a bit of rain sprinkling about... Not enough to really make a difference, but enough to make everything damp. And it's supposed to be in the mid-high '80s today... This means humidity. Blech! Cleaned the catbox, did the dishes, have my bedlinens in the wash now, to be followed by my pillows. Debating whether or not I'm going to mow the lawn today... It needs it, yes, but we're supposed to have sprinkly rain all day. It's really a question of whether or not I want to be covered in wet grass and sweat, or if I want to focus on cleaning my house up really good. I'm feeling motivated today. Was yesterday too, between a peaceful afternoon of sitting on the couch and killing a 300 page novel into the evening, I managed to get my desk cleaned off, and get a lot of filing done that I needed to. Man, I miss the days before you had to worry about that... Keeping old bills and paystubs on file should a discrepancy show up... Retirement accounts and health care invoices, insurance paperwork, investment portfolios, all this crazy crap that really needs to be kept around, can't just toss it in the pile with the junk mail... All part of being a "grown-up", I suppose. Meh... Honestly, I think the lawn can wait till tomorrow, not going anywhere. But, I don't know. I hate putting the garbage out on an unmowed lawn... Heh... Guess I'll see what I wander out and do. (Comment on this)
Saturday, July 19th, 2008
3:24 pm	Sweet... A good day. My books came in the mail, and just as I was sitting down to read, my mailman stopped in front of the house... He had another package for me, within was my new Roomba battery :) Excellent... Enjoying a peaceful Saturday, I am... Reading and relaxing... (Comment on this)
Friday, July 18th, 2008
8:10 pm	And yet, I wonder... It's hard not to doubt yourself when you hear so many conflicting opinions... That you're wrong for feeling a certain way about something that happened... That you're wrong for wanting something that you are trying to get... I maintain that, in the end, only you can know what it is that YOU want, or need, but you hear the same thing so many times, it does plant the seed of doubt... So, my left hand is killing me... I bludgeoned the hell out of it with a sledgehammer while doing playground inspections and repairs. Nice blood blister, and I mean large, like the size of a penny, right in the soft meaty part between thumb and forefinger. Of course, it ripped open entirely, so it's a big patch of very raw skin... Hurts like a bitch. Hurts to type... But, what're you going to do... I'm tired... I was sleeping last night, but then, suddenly, I wasn't... Not going to go into it, but I felt like killing someone at the time. After all, all my friends know that they can call me anytime, if they really need something... If it's important... Jimmy John's is close and tasty. It's the weekend now. I am tired. Not going to go to bed yet, too damn hot to go to bed. Eric quit smoking a while ago... Good for him... My dad started up again not too long ago... Not good. Especially because my brother feels somehow responsible. See, my dad has quit before... He always does, at the start of every new year since I can remember... But then he'll go up north, or over to Paul's, and start up again. Tale as old as time... But our family doctor finally told him, straight up, and this is AFTER the two hospital scares we had a year or so back, that it's about damn time for him to lay off the coffin nails. X-rays this, and tests that, point is, it's time... And he did... And he was good... Till my mom had to pull out a loan, for kyle's schooling... And she told my dad, or maybe he was there, I think he actually might have been, and when they left the place, he did the Dick Van Dyke rubber legs, throw in the classic "I'm comin', Elizabeth" clutching the chest, and he starts huffing and puffing away... And there we are again. The loan was for Kyle's tuition, he's working on his CDL-A courses... Being that the loan was for HIS school, he feels responsible... That's a nice burden to carry... And now for a commercial break... They usually go in threes, I learned this as a kid, so we could time bathroom breaks and snackies between the show coming back on... I have a comprehensive plan, I want to return America to Americans, Obama will be the end of all we know... I'm Barack Obama... So on and so forth, energy policy, four more years of Bush, and we're done... We're someone else! You killed the planet. Thanks a lot. And now back to the show... You know it's election season. And what an election season... Firstly, you have the Republicans... They're trying to garner public support in a very anti-Bush nation... It's the vogue to blame the President for anything... It's Bush's fault. I don't agree with everything he's done. But I support him as my President, and the president of our country. Besides that, again, blame him for everything... Bush went to war with Iraq... Interesting. One of the first things you learn about the constitution, besides that it's an important document in elementary school, and memorizing the preamble in middle school, is that THE PRESIDENT CANNOT DECLARE WAR! He has to go and ask Congress very nicely. He can't just, as everyone is SO fond of saying, just up and invade Iraq... He's an oil man, he's the devil... Interesting. Doesn't matter that the eco-nazis in this country (and yes, there's a difference between the turn-down-the-thermostat, composting, turn-off-the-lights, recycling, bike riding environmentally conscious like myself, and the burn the land rover dealership, no new power plants, refineries, or oil exploration eco-extremists...) have managed to keep this country from both building a new refinery since the '70s, and drilling for any oil whatsoever... Or the fact that the evil oil is fueling your Civic, powering your lights, heat, and ipods, making the bottles for the bottled water that you drink, it goes on and on... It's a capitalistic society that we have created, and in which we live... He's an oil guy... He's making MONEY... Good for him. Fucking good for him... Are you telling me that you would take offense to making money right now? And the people bitching about Bill Gates! He's so rich, he should donate MORE to charity! How the hell much does he freaking donate! It's insane! They have a whole foundation, a freaking organization devoted to donating money to good causes. He got in at the right time with a good idea, and it paid off for him, more than, I'm sure, he could have ever dreamed... A college drop out computer geek, and he's a freaking billionaire! Would that I could be so lucky, but good for him! Put the shoe on the other foot... Put yourself as the billionaire! Would you be bitching about it?!? There was another group of people that were all pissed off that the other guy was making money. We called them nazis! I mean, honestly... You bitch when someone other than you is making money, but I'll bet dollars to doughnuts you'd bitch even more if the government was telling you how much you were allowed to make... No more fossil fuel use in 10 years... No more guns. No bloody nothing... People pitch a bitch about Bush, but I somehow imagine things would be a lot worse had Gore been elected... I've come off track. My point was, this is going to be a VERY interesting election. McCain is already reeling off the starting line because he's a Republican, and all Republicans are Bush. But then you have the other side... The Democrats... Here's how NOT to run a campaign... Split your party right down the middle, and let that wound fester for MONTHS after the other side has unified and started campaigning... Tell people in a swing state, and one that could well be, that their votes, too bad, so sad, don't count! And then try to get people that were supporting your arch rival on your side, as you flip-flop on the issues. Brilliant! Bravo! On the one side, you think Obama's a shoo-in because he's not Bush, or a member of a Bush-related party... On the other side, you think McCain's a shoo-in, because he's neither black, or a woman. In other news, I figured out why my dehumidifier kept on flooding, not draining, filling the bucket, so on... See, I have the hose on it, and it kept on backing up. I thought maybe the hose was too skinny, or it needed to be higher off the ground, something... Took it apart, and then realized that I had used a washer with one of those screeny things in the middle. This is great for pressure passing through it, but not for drainage. Now, it's working perfectly... It's a 70 pint/day dehumidifier, amazing what it can do when it's not backing up, filling up, or flooding the laundry area. I didn't mow the lawn last week. It really does need it, but it's just been too damn hot. I'll do it Sunday, I expect. Still need to stake the tomatoes, and do a lettuce harvest. I am quite bored right now. So, Wildwood Park has a massive Gypsy moth infestation. I hope we can get to doing something about it, because that whole park could be deforested, and it would be pretty silly looking without any trees, to the point that they'd probably try to sell it off like Gravel... The huge, expensive playscape at Huffman Park is being slowly but surely destroyed by kids... Four parts have been loosened and torn off, and more are sure to follow... It's all tamper-proof hardware, but there's always a way when you're a little bastard who wants to destroy something rather than enjoy it. Fucking kids... Fucking adults... Fucking people in general... You've got schools that look abandoned, I mean, 5 years, central city Detroit abandoned, and all for want of an hour of weedwhipping... I know the Madison District is hurting for money, and hurting badly, but when you school looks abandoned, trying to attract people back to it is not an easy task! You've got older kids destroying the hell out of the parks, so that the younger kids can't even enjoy it... Can't even play! What the hell kind of world are we living in where kids can't play?!? Raise taxes, raise prices, raise the hell out of everything, but hell with a raise! That's right, we're overpaid! Overpaid... While people sit in their nice air-conditioned offices, drinking their nice coffee, talking on their nice phones, where the hell are we, the overpaid?!? Oh, you know... I mean, what was I on this week? For the first three days, maintaining our expensive mowers to keep them running well, then on to grass cutting. Painstakingly manicuring the parks, not just cutting grass, edging every curb and sidewalk, weedwhipping every tree, fence, and playscape, picking up garbage, cleaning filthy graffiti, the works. So you can bring your kids to the park and enjoy the day. Then, I was cleaning the corners and edges, and striping parking lot lines. Bringing new lustre to an otherwise old and shabby bit of asphalt. Caring for the parks they way they ought to be. Then, being done with that, mower maintanance. Come money, it's check the oil and load them up, because they're ready to go, all four 72", the 60", the 36" walk-behind, and the 16' lobster... All new blades, every fitting greased, gassed up, fluids checked, filters cleaned, washed, tires filled, ready to go! And how about today? Playground inspection and repair... Every bolt. Every s-hook... Every fitting, every platform... Swing on every swing, slide on every slide, shake everything there is to put your hand on, and if it's loose, fix it! Bolts here, repairs there, it was a full day of keeping the playscapes safe. Ensuring that when a kid is playing on it, it's not going to break down, or fall apart on them. Because we care. Because I care... And all the while, mind you, in the hot sun, with the 90 degrees and unbearably high humidity, progress as usual... In the cold and the snow, when the windchill is -5, and the cars are splashing frozen salt water at you... But we're overpaid... I'd like to see you do it... Bastards! As I drove through Roseville last night... Ah yes. Something unexpected... From the frumpy, frugal, and above all, predictable, Sean... Last night, I got it in my head to hop in the Jeep, and take a drive. A nice long drive. Hang the price of gas, I went! Anyway... As I drove down Gratiot through Roseville, I though of Joe... Not Popp, Elliott. One of my friends... Some may look at him, or listen to him speak, and decide that he's either a chauvenist pig, or totally fucked in the head. Wrong... He, very much like Eric, are two people that my normal circle of friends would look at, and wonder why someone as dull-as-dishwater, white bread me is hanging out with... It's what's deeper, beneath the crust, inside... Joe gets me. I get him... We can talk... Really talk. Somewhere on Gratiot in Roseville, there is a bar... Don't recall the name of it, it's your proper hole in the wall... It's got a neon sign in the front window, claiming "BAR"... You'll miss it the first time around. Entrance and parking is in the back. It could have well been one of the last times we really hung out, was there... Bad karaoke going on... But the alcohol was there, and there's something to be said for your local hole in the wall... I don't know... Certain actions pull up certain memories... Like right now... I'm sitting here at my computer listening to various bits from Batman Returns... Namely, the Penguin's theme, which hit an orchestral orgasm in the cemetery scene, and Selina's Rampage, AKA, Birth of the Catwoman... These are two clips that I quite often like to put into my audio editing software, and affect pitch and reverb to find the perfect harmony to an already perfect bit of music. The catwoman theme is brilliant... Starting in the apartment where she hurls the milk at the answering machine... It's indescribable, such passion, such emotion... Utter tragedy, despair, hopelessness... I was listening to this piece one early morning when I came in early at Logan's to unload the truck... It was cold... I think it was 10 out that morning, and windy, very windy, bitter cold... And this music reminds me of that... It was after the Michigan Jeepers Christmas Party, I remember, I still had the Christmas lights on the roof rack of my Jeep... I listen to this music, and I think of that, of the lights on the Jeep, and unloading the truck on that bitter cold morning... So, here I be... Old friends, new friends, girlfriends, conspicuously absent... Luke's out of town. Joe, haven't heard from him since the wedding. Joe Elliott, no idea what he's up to... Mark, don't know. Eric, in Alaska... Tom Knox, Indianapolis... A night at the bar with Joe and Eric is exactly what I'm in the mood for... But, again, both absent, and here I sit, in front of my computer. The two of them never got along. I think it was the smartass complex. Two smartasses diverged in a service alley, one of them, fry, the other, a server, and their personalities got the best of them... I think they'd get along if they had the chance. Two cynical smartasses, a pitcher of beer, and myself, another cynical smartass... That's the makings of a good Friday night. I'm going to end this entry now... Talking to my brother, writing an email, and debating if I should do something that would be either incredibly brilliant, or incredibly stupid... Maybe I'll ask him. That's something to be said about my brother, he's wise beyond his years, and very very very easy to underestimate, for some reason... Quote of the Day: "Shit! I picked the cute one... The heat's getting to me! I'll murder you momentarily... But first, I need a cool drink, of ice water!" Current Mood: distressed Current Music: Batman Returns - Selina's Rampage (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Tuesday, July 15th, 2008
10:14 pm	Tonneau Covers and Jimmy John's... Tired... So very tired... And my feet are killing me, my shoes are shot, just haven't gotten around to replacing them. Went over to Luke's, and we got, and installed a tonneau cover on his Dakota... It looks really good, you couldn't even tell it wasn't there from the factory. Went together really easy. And the best part? It was made right here in Michigan... And it wasn't all cheap flimsy plastic, no no, the construction was rather sound. After that, we went for a nice walk through Rosie's Park, and then decided to walk from there to Jimmy John's... Jimmy John's of Madison Heights, on 12 Mile Road just opened today... Had dinner, then walked back to, and another lap around the park, stopping to chill out on the bleachers and talk about things... Just... things. All kinds of things. Like we did back in the day. It was a nice evening. My feet are killing me, but that's OK. Going to bed soon... It was a good day at work, got a lot done. I need to put the boot down on one of my crews; the Nature Center was not weedwhipped... Wouldn't have been a big deal, except they told me that they indeed whipped it... I don't like that. I could care less if it takes all damn day, just do the job properly. Contract negotiations start tomorrow... That's a scary bit of business... The City's official position: we have no money... Times are hard... So on, and so forth. Combine that with the fact that A: a lot of people don't appreciate the hard work we do, and B: there have been enough people to fill the stereotype of city workers sleeping in pickup trucks in enough cities over the years that there is virtually no public support for our cause. We are hardly making ends meet as it is, most of the people in my division are either working two jobs, or living in two income houses... But, I still care... I care how the painted lines in the parking lots look... I care how even the stripes are in the freshly mowed field... I care how the edging on the sidewalks looks... And nothing and nobody is going to take that away from me, come hell or high water... Quote of the Day: "You're like the loaf of bread that, even if on sale, people would pass up... Starving children in Ethiopia would rather continue starving than make french toast our of your ass..." Current Mood: exhausted Current Music: Unknown - The Star Spangled Banner (Instrumental) (Comment on this)
Sunday, July 13th, 2008
10:28 am	Oddsfish... What a fucked up night... Let me shake it down for you... It started pretty innocent and normal... After bumming around the house all day, enjoying the sitting around on Friday, I killed two novels, and was in the need for more... See, I've had the same 4 books on my shelf for damn near a year. I haven't gotten around to unpacking all my other literature. And in that year, they've all taken their turn in the bathroom, and on the nightstand. They're read... I could quote them from memory. Picked up a new John Grisham novel at Costco... Started that one in the bathroom... Borrowed a Stephen King from my dad... Started that one in my room... Read the last 3/4 of both of them yesterday. I needed new books. So, I brushed my teeth (had already taken a shower), got dressed, and went to Borders in Birmingham... Still getting used to the way the new tires actually grip the pavement, and what a smooth ride they have. Got to Borders, spent a small fortune on books there, and ordered three that they didn't have in stock, books that I had once owned, but have long since been read to death. One by Mercedes Lackey, that is quite hard to find, and one by Orson Scott Card, for some reason, also a rarity in the collection... And Squee's Big Giant Wonderful Book of Unspeakable Horrors, because it's just delightful... So, as I'm leaving the bookstore, and heading back into Madison Heights, I keep smelling whiffs of pot. Every now and again as a car passes by, or I pass a group of people... Now, is July 12 a date like April 20? I don't know these things... At length, after a walk in the park, get home, it's like 10:30 or so, was up reading till almost midnight, and there were all kinds of people outside... People... And kids... Walking up and down the sidewalk in front of the house, it was like there was a fucking carnival at the end of the street or something. Parents and small children, teenagers, surprisingly, none of the elderly walking their dogs... That's usually a given, not the case this time. It was just very strange... I wake up this morning to find not one, not two, but 5 emails from people that I have not heard from in at least a year, and quite a bit longer than that, for several of them. WTF?!? All this morning foolishness happened after a dream where I was at Madison High School, but the A-Lunch cafeteria looked like the gym at Simonds Elementary... Then, I was at Lamphere High, in the auditorium, and my brother and sister were there, it was like a talent show thing, everyone had to sing a song about someone dead, or lost, but it wasn't a sad event, it was actually a lot of fun... For some reason, I think I was going to be singing about Apu from the Simpsons... I had the song in my head, it was a great rhyme... And as I walked up, everyone, and I mean EVERYONE was cheering, I mean, all I had to do was wave, or make a funny little walk, and they were hanging off my every move, every word, every gesture... I'm not even going to begin to break into all the inconsistencies of this nonsense, suffice to say, it spans two different school districts, ten years, people not being in the schools they were in, and the fact that I was a loner in high school, and fucking hated everyone. But hey, it's a dream... One of those dreams that makes you wake up and go WTF... After a strange night out of the twilight zone... But leading you into the Blast from the Past reunion in your email inbox... So, I did what anyone would do... I had toast and coffee, and started a load of laundry... Take THAT, mental mind fuck of a day... What next?!? Quote of the Day: "Oooh! A zebra!... What did you just call it? Zebra... You know... Zeh-Bruh... No... No no no no, a thousand times no! It's not jag-u-are... It's not zeh-bruh... Zeebraa... Jagwar... Jackass..." Current Mood: confused (Comment on this)
Saturday, July 12th, 2008
5:53 am	The inner Sean... What a freaking night... Last couple of days, actually. It seems to me that when things are good, they are very good. Conversely, when they're bad, they're very bad. Not bad like horrible bad, bad like what the hell can go wrong now bad... I hate when people tell me what I'm doing. You're coming with us to see this movie. Not "would you like to", no, "you're coming..." "You'll have fun." "You'll enjoy it." "You can afford it." Doesn't matter how tired I am, how sunburnt I am, how badly I twisted my ankle on that parking block, how itchy my poison ivy is (and having sunburn over poison ivy on your hand is just a fucking treat, let me tell you... Or how I CANNOT afford it, an oldie, but goodie in these economic times... These things don't matter, because I'm going. Don't worry, I've been permitted to "chillax" for a minute or so before we leave. And heaven forbid I decide that no, I'm not going... That when I said I probably wouldn't be up for going earlier in the week, or when I said I'm beat, and going to soak my ankle and go to bed when I got home, I meant it. Then I get accused of standing you up (WTF is this, a date?), or being old (because nobody else in the world walks through the door beat to hell from work), or antisocial (but I'll actually give you that one, because yes, there are times when I just want to be left the hell alone)... The small percent of the time that I don't just fold and go either to make someone else happy, or on a less positive note, because I don't want to put up with being badgered into going (see above sentence), I get to deal with the whole "no, it's OK, you do what you want"... You know, the voice, the mannerisms, where I'm supposed to see the light, and how heartbroken one is that I'm not going to be there... The disappointment... The mortal pain of it all... And I repent and go. Only, I don't play that game. Read the words without the mannerism attached... 'No, it's OK.' Great. It's OK. Thanks :) I don't play that game, I won't put up with that from someone I'm going out with, why the hell would I put up with it from anyone else? You say it's OK, that means it's OK... And if that's not the case, well, that's what we call a lie. And the sad part is, again, I'm usually up for it... Even when someone is being a douche and telling me what I'm doing, rather than asking me... Even though at that point, I'm pissed off to all hell, and more likely to say no based on that factor, and I'll still be up for it. So, if I say I'm not, well, it's a benefit of the doubt thing. Take this last instance, in particular... It's a movie that I wanted to see. With a cast of actors that I love. With people that I like hanging out with. Hell, I didn't even have to drive. And yet, I chose not to go. Benefit of the doubt would say that I probably have a damn good reason for not wanting to go... And yet, I still get shit. Damned if you do, damned if you don't. I hate being taken for granted... Hey, we need something fixed. Or someone to talk to. Or someone to go somewhere with. Or some information. Or anything in general, who can we call? Let's call Sean! Doesn't matter that we haven't talked to him in weeks, or only call when we need something, or forgot his birthday, or the last thing we did was bitch at him, or we know he has plans tonight, or that this is something asinine that could wait until he's not at work, or it's not the middle of the night to pester him with phone calls... No, that doesn't matter. Because, after all, it's Sean. He'll always be there. Treat him like dirt, treat him like crap, give him as much regard as the voice on the other end of the tech support line, that's OK, it's Sean! He'll always be there. And when someone is in need, I'm usually there. Something needs to be fixed, someone needs someone to talk to, whatever, I'm usually there. It's what I do, and who I am. I like helping people. Particularly, my friends. For whatever reason, I can generally look at a problem, and find a solution. I'm not a pipefitter, a plumber, an electrician, a carpenter, a mason, a roofer, an HVAC technician, a master gardener, a therapist, a relationship counselor, the list goes on and on and on of things that I'm not, yet somehow, I can usually be of assistance. And that's not a gift that I take for granted... But it would be awfully nice, sometimes, if I got a little more regard than the Sears repairman, or the community help line... Not asking much, really, I don't think... But then, I usually don't ask much. And I'm still disappointed. Meh... You actually do get used to it, surprise surprise... Having went to bed somewhat early because I'm a broken down old man with a secret agenda to piss people off, my alarm on my phone going off at 5:30 was not such a bad thing. I got up, started up the computer, and after musing a bit over things, went out to the back porch and called my mom... Watched the sunrise and just chatted. It was pleasant. A pleasant way to start the morning. The morning sunlight sparkled in the oozing blisters on my left arm, like dew over a meadow... Serendipity moment. Perhaps a bit horrible and disgusting, but it's good to see the beauty in things that may not normally be beautiful... Going to be a hot one today. Humid... But some severe storms are to be rolling through. That will be nice. So, what's wrong with the world? Why is it, when you go out of your way to organize the picnic tables in an orderly fashion under the pavilions, someone feels the need to upend two of them, and cover a third in mud, less than 24 hours later? Why do people beg for a skate park, and then, when they get it, fill it with trash and profanity? Why do people snap the branches off of pear trees? What the hell are you getting out of it? What possible reason could you have to upend picnic tables, short of being an asshole? What possible reason could you have to trash your own skate park? Do you like recreating in garbage and filth? What the hell did a pear tree ever do to anyone that would cause someone to break a limb off? A fucking pear tree. Just sitting there, providing shade and a bit of beauty to it's little area of the world. That's not self expression. That's not a protest against the establishment. It doesn't even make any sense! Nobody's home was torn down to put the pear tree in that spot. It's not in anybody's way. It doesn't talk back, it doesn't do much of anything except just sit there and grow, and someone feels the compelling need to be that much of a dickhead to break it's little branches off! Fuck you! OMI... SHOW... RIN... What the fuck is that? Are you in some wannabee gang? Oooh, you know what would be really rebellious? Let's take a paint marker and write random groups of letters on garbage cans and doors... We're not an establishment that controls the streets, we're not trying to make the world better, we haven't gotten people's attention to spread a message of revolution, no, we're just a bunch of dickheads being assholes... Yeah... That's fucking cool... Rage against the machine! Power to the people... Let's write on things. Picnic tables, garbage cans, playscapes, doors, dumpsters, whatever... You know what I did that was totally rebellious when I was a kid? No, I didn't free a bunch of lab animals... No, I didn't protest for something I believed in... No, I didn't raise awareness for a controversial cause... I wrote on things. Way to fucking go... I hope the history books will have room left for Dr. Martin Luther King, Vietnam war protests, and the repeal of prohibition after telling the story of the kids that wrote on things in the suburbs... Let's talk about swastikas... Heh... Sounds like a childrens book... But anyway... That's an old standby... Some little bastard carves a swastika in a picnic table... Accompanied, perhaps, with a proclamation of "white power", or perhaps a "KKK", or "darkys go back to afreka"... Perhaps this has been carved by some hate-filled young adult with a vendetta against the Jews, or the blacks, trying to raise awareness of the white supremecist cause... More likely, some kid doing it because he's rebellious, and that's what you're supposed to do when you're rebellious... Now... This teaches us a couple of things about the youth of our nation... 1. Texting and IMs have destroyed the basic concept of literacy in this country. (txtng n ims hv fked up teh basic cncpt of ltrcy n usa lol)... Kill witey? Nijer? Camuls? Irak? Afreka? Natsi pride? White supremisy? 2. Ignorance and total hypocrisy reign supreme... Ok, little nonconformist-just-like-everyone-else establishment hater... You carve the swastika into the table... Besides the fact that you probably have no idea what the Nazi regime truly symbolizes (mass genocide is something that's kind of passe in this decade), how about these apples? The Nazis wanted good little soldier boys... Boys who would heil to the flag, march in time, and never question their orders or establishment... Not some little picnic table carving punk with a ring through his eyebrow, a Bush Sucks bumper sticker on his lowered miata with fart cannon muffler, and a chip on his shoulder for anyone who ever told him what to do... Kid, you'd be the first to go... They killed and tortured the fuck out of people for listening to jazz... Being a self-proclaimed rebel fighting against the establishment? You wouldn't have a chance... And let's talk about the greater spectrum of white power, or more specifically, the anti-black sentiment, the kill this, and go back to africa that... You can't say you're against a race when you are trying desperately to emulate their current societal trends! It doesn't work that way... I hate black people, but Pimp My Ride is like church to me, I sag my pants and show my boxers, I have a huge subwoofer in the trunk of my $600.00 Neon blasting the latest CD from Puff Diddly, or Snoop Dog... I worship Rasheed Wallace and Terrell Owens... But, I hate black people... Riiiiiiigghhhttt... I suppose the myspace/facebook generation is actually a good thing, because of the apathy it's created... That's a double edged sword, I mean, I hate apathy more than anything, anybody who knows me knows that... But, in this case, it's a good thing... None of these kids carving "kill all camuls" is going to go on a murder spree against Chaldeans... None of these wannabee gang members drawing their little wannabee gang signs is ever going to start a gang... None of these kids who hate "the man" is ever going to do anything about it... Because that would mean doing something. Hell, not just something, something that everyone else isn't doing... Everyone has an Ipod... Everyone had a myspace... Everyone now has a facebook... Everyone buys the latest CD from the latest band... Everyone watches the latest reality stars on the latest reality show... Why? Because everyone else is doing it... You want to be a rebel? You want to be contrary? Shake things up by not doing the same thing everyone else is? Make your mark by being different? Here's a rebellious idea for you... Pick up some trash instead of throwing it on the ground... Salute the flag... Drive the speed limit... Vote... Get informed before saying that something sucks... And sure, these ideas don't sound very rebellious, do they? Not by a long shot... But remember, rebellion is doing things that everyone else is NOT doing... Buy a CD that you LIKE, even if it's not on the bestseller rack right there in front of Best Buy... Drink a beverage because it TASTES GOOD, even if there haven't been a dozen TV commercials every hour on the hour telling you to drink it... Do something that YOU WANT TO DO, even if everyone else isn't doing it... Stand up for what YOU BELIEVE IN, even if everyone else doesn't care about it... It's your life, stop living it up with the other sheep and do what makes sense for you... In a society of mindless followers, the majority with a bad idea turns that idea into reality... Our saving grace is that this society of mindless followers won't actually do the work... If it can't be done on Myspace, cable TV, a text message, or drive-thru, it simply cannot be done... And that, horribly, is a good thing. I can't help but wonder what the next ten years will bring... I'll be thirty five... What will the world be? Quote of the Day: "I'd buy the Quick Stop and reopen it myself!" Current Mood: discontent Current Music: Kalinika (Comment on this)
Friday, July 11th, 2008
5:31 am	Summer... I love these midsummer days... The days, hot, muggy, still, although we've been lucky, it's been relatively breezy this season. Even so, these are the days of bike rides and ice cream trucks and kids playing in the streets... Jumping through sprinklers. Taking respite from the sun under a big old shade tree... Then there's the nights. When everything cools down, and sure, it takes a while, but it does all the same. When you sit out on the back porch with a glass of lemons-ade, or perhaps a nice cold beer, and just enjoy life for what it is... And when it does finally cool down, you sleep like a log. To wake up to a morning that's not too cold, not too hot, in fact, just right... Good times... (Comment on this)
Thursday, July 10th, 2008
10:34 pm	Give us peace... Dona nobis pacem, pacem... Dona nobis pacem... Dona nobis pacem... Dona nobis pacem, pacem... I was in the middle of writing out the music for this incredible piece, when I thought I heard thunder over the music in my headphones... I checked the radar, indeed, a tiny little blurb of a thunderstorm just happened to be over Southeast Oakland County... So, I grabbed a glass of wine, headed out to my back porch, and watched the storm... I watched the rain. I watched the wind. I watched the lightining... But it was more than that. I felt, I heard, I smelled, I tasted all of the above... And it left as quickly as it came. And after the storm, as the sun finally set, and darkness fell over the place I call home, it was the most surreal peace... Everything was at rest, perfect silence, but it wasn't, there was just enough noise to break it, to make it more tranquil than perfect silence could ever be... So, I sat out there on my porch... I watched fireflies in the yard, there have been a lot lately. I sat there, and enjoyed my evening. And the life that brought that evening to me... After a day of grass cutting. Equipment failures. Hydraulic leaks. Sweat. Heat. Sun. A crew leaving one guy to finish two hours of weedwhipping at another park. Coming home... Writing bills to be paid with money that I won't ever see, it'll be in at midnight, and out by nine. Laundry... Dishes... More wiring... And the lawn... After a day of mowing, whipping, edging, and blowing, I got to spend the better part of my late afternoon/early evening, you guessed it, mowing, whipping, edging, and blowing... I had a tomato for a snack. Not one of mine, one that I bought, but still tasty... And then I sat down to the computer, and wrote some music, and then watched an unexpected storm... It's now a good hour past when I should have been in bed. I'll be tired... But, that's OK... I'll manage. After all, it is Friday... Quote of the Day: "Shun the fermenous bandersnatch!" Current Mood: peaceful Current Music: S. Ballantine - Dona Nobis Pacem (Comment on this)
Monday, July 7th, 2008
8:21 pm	Tired tired... The humidity and heat'll do that to you. Mowing parks today, they're looking good, the ones that we've done. It's strange to have it be the dead of summer, and have the grass still growing. Usually does not happen. It was starting to go crispy for a bit there back in May, but since then, we've had just the right amount of rain and heat to keep it growing happily. Parks are looking good with nice green greens, but having to mow them every week means that our understaffed department cannot take care of other matters. Like painting, repairs, cleanups, you know, anything that the parks need besides grass cutting... Got home, replaced Ron's serpentine belt... Was going to mow the lawn, didn't get to it, that's OK, because it started to rain... Think I might call it a night. It is hot and humid, and I am sleepy... (Comment on this)
Sunday, July 6th, 2008
10:31 pm	But wait! There's more! It's a glorious night out. Seriously... Reminds me of the night that I was taking to Eric at around 2 in the morning here, while he was at a bar in Arizona. Light gentle breeze presenting the flag on the front of my house in all of it's glory. Warm, but not too warm... Good night to be sitting out on the porch with the roomies having a beer. Or on the bleachers at Rosie's contemplating the universe and existence as a whole with Luke. Or on the trampoline up north... It's just an all-around good night. I can't sleep. I haven't tried, but I'm not tired. The melatonin does not seem to be kicking in. But then again, I have started modifying music, looking for the perfect harmony, the perfect chord, the perfect tempo and rhythm, the things to add to a great song to make it incredible... And that can carry me away for hours. I do need to get to sleep, and I'm going to be tired tomorrow... But, you know what, that's OK. It's summer... It's for enjoying. Here's to contemplating the meaning of life with Luke on the bleachers. Here's to staring at the stars at Red Rock Canyon State Park with same. Here's to a Sparks, shitty lighting, and watching Eric wrenching in Detroit. Here's to a beer on the porch with Mark and Ben after a walk to Huffman Park. Here's to a walk into the back forty with Jeff, Luke, and Ben. Here's to stargazing in the sandy patch of the property road with Luke, Ben, and Doug. Here's to all the things that a midsummer night has ever been, is, and has the potential to be. (Comment on this)
9:14 pm	Motivation, and a glass of wine... At length, I finally got motivated. It started with a bit of laundry... Then, my brother was willing to come over and help me get one of the old washing machines out of the basement, and to the curb. At that point, I got going... Dusted. Polished. Vacuumed. Cleaned glass. Basically went to town. Got the garbage and everything out, did the dishes, cleaned the microwave, just freaking went to town. Which is glorious. I feel quite accomplished. Didn't get to the lawn, I'll do that tomorrow. So, here's a blurb that I find quite amusing... **Obama plans to campaign next week in North Carolina, Georgia and Virginia, all Southern states that have been the province of Republicans but where his campaign thinks he can make inroads — or even win — in part because of their large black populations. It "would be pretty foolish" not to try, Obama said. "Democrats can't shrink the map and win," he told reporters. "The solid South for Republicans is part of that shrinkage of the map. ... I want to be greedy."** Ok, you're campaigning in areas that are normally just written off, because they are of a strong Republican heritage... That's smart business, it never hurts to take a chance... But the "in part because of their large black populations"... That, I take offense to. Reason being, you're basically saying "black people, black president"... That's brilliant. Absolutely brilliant. If I was a black person, whether or not I was voting for Obama, I'd be pretty pissed off that he'd assume he's got my vote based on the colour of his skin... Because, obviously, since I'm black, and he's black, I'm going to vote for him. On a greater scale, haven't we spent years, hundreds of millions of dollars, and a war that tore our nation apart to try and change the whole "because of the colour of their skin" thing? To treat people, hire people, and yes, even to vote for people based on their merits, not "the colour of their skin"... That doesn't seem like a very enlightened attitude his campaign has adopted. "Oh, that was taken out of context"... Umm, that's how the sentence sits... Context be damned. If I was to say "I enjoy seeing kids fall down stairs", it doesn't matter what context you put it in, the intent of the sentence is going to be the same. Some senator in Virginia has introduced legislation to look into reviving the old National Maximum Speed Limit. For those who do not know, during the Arab oil embargo of the late '70s, when the price of gas skyrocketed because of serious supply shortages, the National Maximum Speed Limit was imposed. This is why, on older cars, 55 on the speedometer was usually brighter, larger, or in a box. 55 miles per hour was the fastest you could go, on any highway in the country. It used to take damn well near 5 1/2 hours to get up to our property. One of the main reasons for this was that cars theoretically obtain their best highway gas mileage at 55 miles per hour, any faster, and you're just burning gas. When you car is rated at 28 miles per gallon highway, that's not assuming a speed of 70 MPH, more like 55... This was finally repealed in 1995, when crude oil was down to 17 dollars a barrel, the average price of gas around 1.19/gallon. It was generally considered a hideous failure; the roads were no safer, if anything, there were more accidents, highways were not lasting any longer, and people were still consuming more and more gas every year. After the repeal, besides not really affecting fuel consumption, traffic accidents actually went DOWN. But now, suddenly, data says that gas was saved, wear and tear on the roads did go down, and it was safer to go slower. Now yes, as new information and research comes out, the old standard is going to change. I mean, people used to think the earth was flat, laudanum and arsenic were commonplace medications, and fire was an element. Nowadays, though, in the span of 30 years, to say that black is white, up is down, and left is right seems a little far fetched. Sounds more to me like data has been tweaked, or put in a certain context to make it say what he wants it to say. It's not all that hard to do. Doesn't make it right, but it's certainly not that hard to do... They say the world as we know it is going to end on December 21, 2012... It's an interesting date for a number of reasons. The Mayan calendar ends on that date. The sun will be perfectly aligned with the center of the galaxy for the first time in around 26,000 years. And it also happens to be the winter solstice. Now, whether or not this all happens to be delightful coincidence, or the end of the world really is nigh, it's not really going to matter... I mean, if the world is going to end, what the hell can you do except wait for it to happen. But, the end of the world as we know it. Now, that's interesting. That's a factor that makes a big difference. They say that the sun being in said alignment, combined with heavy sunspot activity could affect the planet's magnetic fields... The world as we know it. Imagine waking up and finding your cell phone not working. Your TomTom GPS in your car not telling you how to get to the office you've worked at for 20 years. Your XM satellite radio not working. In short, all our electronic doodads and whatchamacallits either functioning improperly, or not functioning at all... There's an interesting concept. Everything these days is wireless... Beamed either through the air, or from satellites. A massive shift in the magnetic field of our planet could totally throw all of that out of whack, not to mention the tides, compasses, so on, and so forth... There's a lot that could happen, and a lot that could not happen. People thought that 2000 would be the end of the world as we know it, because all of our computers would fail, and the infrastructure along with it. Millions of dollars were spent worldwide, whole task forces, an entire damn floor at the DTE Energy complex to deal with the crisis... And after the clock struck twelve, the ball fell on Times Square, and Auld Lang Syne was sung, the Spassky Tower at the Kremlin chimed, and the Russian National Anthem was sung, and all the other new years traditions happened, the lights stayed on, the toilets flushed, and the good people of the various Y2K task forces around the world were handed pink slips, and sent on their way. The date may be significant, hell, there might be magnetic disturbances... That does not, however, necessarily mean that the end of the world is coming. Computer programming around the world could have failed... But it didn't. With such a matter, that's rather out of the control of humankind, so we'll just sort of have to wait and see... If I run the microwave, the toaster, and the coffeemaker at the same time, and the fridge kicks on, I will blow a fuse. If Ron's air conditioning and computer, the light in the middle room, the vacuum, and Ben's bedroom light is on, along with the fans and lizard lights, I will blow a fuse. This is not substandard wiring, this is circuits that should be seperate doubled, tripled, and quadrupled up in the fusebox because of a lack of room... Thing is, the balance is not good... Every appliance in the kitchen, and the washer, is on one fuse. But then, there are two fuses with just two lights a piece on them. This is actually not that bad, though. This means that I have room to work. It would be different if everything all came into one wire going to the fusebox, the necessary splits then having to be done inside the walls... There are three wires going to the fuse. That's three different circuits that can be divested. I can work with that :D It's about time for me to go to bed. My day is done, I am accomplished, a nightly glass of red wine nearly consumed, and a delightful concert hall reverb effect applied to the Mormon Tabernacle Choir's rendition of the Star Spangled Banner is just blowing me away... It's a good night. On a final note, may I be the first to absolutely, and totally recommend Biggby Coffee, on John R. Road, north of 13 Mile Road in Madison Heights. The roasts are light and gentle. The mixes are good. The atmosphere is relaxing, but not stuffy. The people are friendly. The pasteries are tasty. And, a special for Luke, the parking lot has driveways both off John R. Road, and Brush Street, the latter being pretty much right across from your parking space, not to mention that they open at 6, and they toast, and cream cheese bagels... Oh yes, and they have a new trivia question every day on the board at the end of the counter where you pick up your coffee... Delicious fun! Quote of the Day: "Her eyes, they shone like the diamonds... You'd think she was queen of the land... And her hair hung over her shoulder, tied up with a black velvet band..." Current Mood: accomplished Current Music: The Irish Rovers - Black Velvet Band (Comment on this)
Saturday, July 5th, 2008
11:15 pm	Unforeseen consequences... More and more gas stations, as of late, are charging around 11 cents more a gallon for using credit instead of cash. Now, seriously, who the hell pays for gas with cash anymore, especially nowadays, if I want to fill my tank, I'll need 80 bucks in my pocket... But 11 cents is 11 cents. 3.89 sounds a lot better than 4.00... Right at this moment, if someone held me up and demanded my wallet, they'd get 2 dollars cash, my bank and credit cards which, besides doing them no good whatsoever, would be reported stolen as soon as they fled, and various reward cards, my license, things of that nature... And there's a lot of that about... Nobody really carries cash anymore. It's not really worthwhile to steal someone's wallet or purse, hasn't been for a couple years... But 11 cents is 11 cents... My first thought was that this could be the thing that saves cash... I'm a bit nostalgic in that sense... I grew up with cash, I like cash, I'd like to see it stay around for a while... I'm sure the day will come when it is rendered obsolete, particularly with the advent of wireless network blanketing... There's no reason that Mortimer and Wanda can't, in 5 years or so, use their blackberry to scan your Visa card at their roadside fruit stand... But then the flip side hit me like a ton of bricks... 65 bucks or so to fill my tank, ATMs, in general, deposit 20 dollar bills. I mean, ours at Huntington was depositing 20s or 10s for a while, but I expect that to do so, they had to light the second boiler, and didn't want to pay someone to shovel coal into the back of it, so they discontinued that... I kid, but seriously, the damn thing's ancient. So that means 80 bucks in my wallet. Seems to me like nicking someone's wallet just became much more lucrative... Add to that the good old standby of "times are hard", and I think we're in for a rough ride... The credit card companies own the world, and they're probably going to get me mugged at my friendly neighborhood gas station one night. One can't help but wonder what the future will bring... Oh sure, we've bounced back before... Times were very different. The state of Michigan revolves around extinct industries... Our mining is done. Our agriculture, important, but negligable in terms of real dollars. Tourism, nobody has any money, our roads are shit, and our parks are neglected... So that leaves the auto industry... The Big Three... You know, the ones that are every day declaring more doom and gloom, meanwhile filling unemployment lines by the hundreds... And then, let's look at the nation as a whole... You held back, didn't go to the supermarket, didn't go to the chain store, you spent your money at the mom and pop store, the five and dime, whatever you want to call it... Putting money into you local economy. Buying American goods, and putting money into the greater economy as a whole... It was a wave formation. Money went away, but then it came back, a closed system... But now all our money's going to China... Money's going out, and going out, and going out, but it's not coming back in... We tax incoming foreign goods at, oh, say seven percent... That's reasonable, they keep selling to us... They tax our goods at, oh, say, seven hundred percent. Good luck trying to sell a damn thing overseas. So we're guttering. Money keeps going out, our economy is hemorrhaging money from every port, but we're not getting dick in return. And all the while, people are losing their jobs, and the cost of everything keeps going up and up and up... The few American made goods left on store shelves, people cannot afford. "Oh, you can't afford NOT to buy American"... A lovely sentiment, but when Chinese shingles cost 5 bucks a bundle, and American shingles cost 30 bucks a bundle, your roof is leaking, your wallet's empty, the bottom line is what's going to win out. As patriotic, eco-friendly, and desperate to change what the future's going to bring, I cannot, nor can the average blue collar everyman from Main Street, USA, be responsible for restoring our economy. It's simply not possible... It happened too gradually, too insidiously... The wave formation of our economy only worked when the container was closed, the money sloshing from one side of the bucket to the other... Now, there's a gaping hole in the bucket. Money's moving, and it's going to keep moving, and that bucket's only going to keep getting emptier. Thing is, we live in an apathetic society... Even if people bothered to turn around and look and say "Hey, these cheap foreign goods are killing our country", nobody'd do anything about it. Let's organize a Facebook protest! omg, teh econimy is in trouble, by american, keep youre $$$ at home... Yeah. That'll affect change. And again, that's assuming people bothered to realize the problem... It's *obviously* Bush's fault... Everything's Bush's fault. I tell you, this guy must have more power than God for the way he can affect everything on a mere whim. So, I'm not going to stand on a soap box, and preach "Buy American"... I think we should, yes. I think it's a good idea, yes. I try to do so when I can, yes... But, I know nobody, not a single person with the disposable income to spend 20 dollars more on a shovel, a standard metal scoop, wooden handled round-point shovel, based on where it's made. Hell, everyone I know, with perhaps a couple exceptions, white collar, or blue collar, is living paycheck to paycheck, struggling to make ends meet, and just keeping on keeping on, paying the bills, keeping gas in the tank, food in the fridge, and hoping that everytime the washer is turned on, or the furnace fires up, that it'll get through another cycle, because there's no way in hell it can be replaced right now... I had to get tires on the Jeep... I've been putting it off since last autumn, and finally, I had to suck it up and do it. Put them on a credit card that I've not used in at least two years, just been paying down... How much was THAT out the door? Well, let me put it to you like this... It's just under a month's rent. It's over two standard monthly car payments. It's about 8 days net pay, give or take. And... You could buy twenty breadboxes, give or take... (After all, you have to throw in the breadbox. That's always a question, is it larger than a breadbox...) That sucked balls... Hmm... Other doings and happenings. My new tires are SO quiet on the road. I mean, holy hell... I find myself speeding hardcore because I'm so used to subconsciously judging my speed by the road noise that no longer exists. Thursday morning, I drove to work because it was raining. It had rained all evening Wednesday, we had like 12 hours of steady soaking rain. Anyway, I stepped out the front door, and there was a smell in the air, the humidity, the temperature, it was all perfect. If I had closed my eyes, you couldn't have convinced me otherwise that I was not up at my property... When I spoke to my mom later, she mentioned the exact same thing. It was amazing. Dammit, I cannot wait to get up there. I have a composter now. We're averaging 2 recycling bins, and one bag of garbage a week... Not bad for three twenty-something single guys. But a chunk of that garbage happens to be compostable kitchen waste. Eggshells, banana peels, coffee grounds and filters, onion skins, celery ends, things like that. And every little bit helps, so after reading an article in the Madison-Park News, Kyle and I went out to Weigand's Nursery, after getting my tires, and got me a composter. On that note, I have to say, they're probably the only place in the area that has the damn things, let alone has even heard of what the hell you're talking about. And a delightful pair of garden toads that are wearing chef hats, aprons, and holding cooking utensils... I spent a small fortune on shit today, no, strike that, not even shit... Tires... So, when a little chef-toad was staring up at me from a barbecue display show, and it made me smile, I grabbed it. And then I saw it's little brother sitting up above a doorway, so I grabbed it too. Because they made me smile. And there's not a damn thing wrong with that, thank you kindly. So, I have the composter, we set it up, and it's sitting out next to the garden, to turn my kitchen and yard waste into garden food. Speaking of the garden, my lettuces are huge, my broccoli and brussels sprouts are going to town, my peas and garlic, I need to look for, but my crowning joy is the fact that my tomato plants have, at this moment, tiny little tomatoes on them. They're green, and they're about the size of marbles, but they're out there nonetheless... And, as everyone knows, tiny little tomatoes turn into big tasty tomatoes. I am pleased. Hell, I haven't even fertilized, that's just the soil that part of the lawn came with. My ditch lilies are doing great, my elm-shrub is full and lush, my dwarf alberta spruces in the front are healthy... The lawn needs to be fertilized, plan to take care of that tomorrow after I mow it. But overall, it's looking great, and I am pleased. It's not all fun and games though. Roomba's battery is totally shot, and I need to get another one. The timer on the dryer has gone wonky, and won't move when it's set to the automatic mode, seems to work on timed mode, so that's not all bad... But I hated when I came home five hours later, and realized that my towels were STILL drying. Granted, they were dry, I mean, wow, were they ever dry, but dammit, 5 hours of dryer-running... Not kosher. The Jeep needs an oil change, Ron needs a serpentine belt, and Tribble keeps yacking up hairballs on the rug. And the floor near the rug. And the couch above the rug... Everywhere, really... It is now Sunday, July 6, 2008. What shall the awakening bring upon the dawn? What, indeed? Quote of the Day: "All the choices that you chose leave you nothing left to hold, when you're nothing, it's a good time to remind you of one thing... The pursuit begins when this portrayal of lying ends..." Current Mood: annoyed Current Music: Evans Blue - The Pursuit (Comment on this)
Wednesday, July 2nd, 2008
8:57 pm	Dreaming the life... Imagine the sweetness of living the dream. I don't feel like writing right now... I have a headache, my office is a thousand degrees, and my back is killing me... I feel, however, like I should write... 232 years of freedom this Friday... I say freedom... Heh. The freedom to have our values destroyed. The freedom to sell out everything we hold dear to the highest bidder. The freedom to cut off our feet so we can be "polite" to the rest of the world... The freedom to thumb our nose at, and forget about everything and everyone to which we owe our freedom. The freedom to forget what it means to be free... There are those that go and fight for their country. That is wonderful. There are those who don't... And that's OK too... The travesty is those who flout the memory of those fallen... Like that crazy bitch in Texas. Her son joined the Army... During time of war. I think he knew the risks. He died fighting for his country... For the freedom for which it stands. For it's ideals. For it's values. For it's people. For a better world. And how did she honor his memory? Why, by trashing the President, the Army, and basically everything for which her son stood... Thanks, Mom... Way to honor his memory there, lady... Freedom does not have to be glorious... Beauty does not have to be pretty. Truth does not have to make sense. Love does not have to make you happy. Passion and hatred are not two different things, indeed, hatred is passion, it is passionate. When you have emotional thought, when you are an emotional person, you take the good with the bad... But the bad can also be good... Fire can be a disaster, it can also be the beginning of something new. Restorative. Cleansing. I need to finish this later... My head is killing me, and I need sleep now. (Comment on this)
Thursday, June 26th, 2008
7:03 pm	Home... Throat killing me. Lost my voice twice... Might consider going to the doctor tomorrow if it doesn't improve any, although since it's been a good solid 4-5 days, I can't help but think that it's probably on the downhill slope now. Hard to stay motivated, positive... Look up, and realize you're the only one working. Look around, and realize you're the only one who gives a flying damn. Start to question why you do it... Of course, there's the old standbys... It all pays off in the end... Stick to the things you care about... So on and so on. But, y'know, you can only say the same thing to yourself so many times before it just doesn't have as much meaning as it used to. And then the same old question comes back to haunt you... Why bother... Ran a budget this morning, project income versus expenses... The good news is, I should be able to afford to go up north... Won't be any day trips to the Grand Traverse area, won't be any new installations or projects at the property, but I should be able to get myself, and the Jeep, and my friends up there, with food in our bellies, lanterns at night, and perhaps, a little wine. That seems doable. I cannot wait to get up there. (1 Comment |Comment on this)
4:04 am	Thursday... Went to bed early last night, haven't been feeling so hot lately. Throat's sore, and it's hard to shake this cough... Doesn't seem like it's in my chest, just my throat... Hot coffee is helping this morning. Had some messed up dreams last night, a fuse blew, so I went downstairs to check on it, but it was my parents basement, and my fusebox (sans cover just as it is here) was in the position of their breaker box, above the laundry table... Laundry was piled up against it. I pulled the clothing away, and half of the right bus bar fell off onto the table, along with three fuse holders, and a lot of wiring was disconnected. There were lights in the basement, but they were only flickering, because the main fuse was pulled to affect repairs, which confused me, because there should have been no power. I concluded that the light circuit must be shorting against something else in the box, meaning that it's wasn't safe to work on, as there was still power coming from the main. Above each light fixture, between the joists were like 3 or 4 abandoned ones, sometimes flickering on, sometimes not. Then, I think the whole fuse box fell apart, but was still working, in pieces, on the laundry table (which somehow had no more laundry on it... I think that's about when I woke up... Explain that one! Strangely, in the dream, I wasn't terrified that all this was happening (which is strange, because I am terrified of such things happening, not that specifically, but electrical failures, electrocution, fires related to electricity, so on, and so forth. More annoyed than anything else, because things weren't going the way that they were supposed to be. I mean, you pull the main, the main power is off. That's how it goes. Upon awakening into the near perfect darkness of my garett, a thought fell into my head... Well, after I analyzed that I had to pee, my throat was killing me, and my ankle was still throbbing after I twisted it... ON TUESDAY! I've hit that magical part of my life where all my friends are getting married... Now, I use the term "all" as a general one, more to describe the stage of existence than to describe the state of people I know... You've got three basic groups... Married, or about to get married sometime in the near future. Not married, but marriage falls into the grand plan, regardless of it's priority. No intention to get married whatsoever. It'd be easier if I fell into the third group. That way, if things don't work out, no big loss. Take things as they come, and who the hell cares how long it works out; you've no intention of anything long-term, plenty of fish in the sea... But, that's simply not the case. I'm a staunch second group person... I see kids, I see a family, kickballs and dogs and camping trips, sticky fingers and crayoned walls, trips to the beach, suffering through "fun for the whole family" movies... Quite a number of months ago, might have been around last fall or so, I was sitting on the couch, sort of dozing, warm but not too warm, sun streaming in through the window, and suddenly it's like I was looking outside myself, and there I was, doing the very same thing, but with my kid napping, I don't know, next to me, using my leg as a pillow, sprawled out on my chest, something like that... It's a classic scene, sure you can picture it. I don't know if I wrote about that epiphany or not. Now, the thing I've got going for me is; quality before quantity... That rather sums up my life. I've got standards. I'm flexible, yes, but I do have standards. I'm in no hurry... Nor, surprisingly, do I have that complex, the whole, "what the hell, everyone's getting married before me"... Life is not a race, not a competition... And I believe that things happen when they are supposed to. Even if it takes a couple tries, even if you think you know beyond a shadow of a doubt that you've found what you're looking for, when something is meant to happen, it will happen. I sometimes wonder where I fit in the grand scheme of things. It is quite often that I can't help but feel that I was born in the wrong time, to the point where there are moments that it's right outside my vision... It's hard to describe. Like, picture standing on a street, and it's almost like, although you're standing there in 2008, you swear that, out of the corner of your eye, you're seeing the same street in 1960. Seeing people doing things they haven't done in years, if they're even still alive. Like looking back in time. And if you concentrated just a little harder, you could somehow be there. In talking to one of my friends, several nights ago, perhaps there is something else. I believe in certain things, certain values, certain establishments, certain things that are all but extinct in this day and age... Things once held dear that are now trod on like an old newspaper on the street. Things that, I had to be reminded, I can not take on as one person. I can't let the weight of the world rest on my shoulders. I'm one person against 7 billion. A person, although known by some, liked by most, has no power whatsoever... A person, however, with an idea. Several ideas. And while I cannot singlehandedly make the charge, cannot singlehandedly fix the world, perhaps it is up to me to start the revolution. To set forth the ideas, to plant the seeds, to provide a new perspective that maybe, just maybe, people will see, like, and want to be a part of. It has always been my belief that everyone has a purpose to fulfill... That there is no mediocrity, there are no people whose destiny is to merely float along until they die. And while not everybody can start a social revolution, or write the next great American novel, or compose a symphony, there is a purpose. A mark to be left. Even if it is nothing more than a tree planted somewhere. A car built by a faceless corporation that you personally put your hand to, for someone to enjoy. A fond memory... Any impact, no matter how supposedly mundane, is still an impact. Today's going to be a preoccupied day, I can already see that... I've got a ton on my mind to sort through, thoughts, ideas, you name it... And it's only, well, not even quite 5:00 in the morning. About time for me to hop in the shower. Festival preperation today. Quote of the Day: "Theirs is not to reason why, theirs is but to do and die." Current Mood: contemplative Current Music: Sandi Patty - The Star Spangled Banner (Comment on this)
Monday, June 23rd, 2008
5:42 am	Bummer... George Carlin died yesterday... (Comment on this)
Sunday, June 22nd, 2008
9:23 pm	A delicious dinner... Start cooking the rice, it will take 20 minutes if you do it properly. Bring twice as much water as dry rice to a boil, add said dry rice, cover the pot, and turn heat down to LOW. Cook for 20 minutes. I used a tall glass for these measurements. The ratio is the important part, hang how many cups there are. Slice up about three cloves of garlic, throw these in a pan, heating on HIGH with olive oil, with half an onion, diced, and saute. Toss every now and again as you slice up a goodly amount of chicken. Little bite-size pieces are your goal. Add chicken to pan, season with garlic salt, and pepper. When the chicken is gently seared on all sides, the onions not quite caramelized, add a few pats of butter, and some fresh thyme, finely chopped. Melt the butter down, and get the pan good and hot. By this point, the oil and various juices should be reducing. Add a good heaping handful of sliced portabella mushrooms, saute for a few minutes, and get the pan good and hot. KEEP IT MOVING, DO NOT BURN THE MUSHROOMS!!! Add a decent amount of white wine of your choosing (I went with a 2005 Michigan Semi-Dry reisling, which gave it a slight sweetness that was delightful). Pan should be hot enough to get that sizzle effect when the wine hits it, not quite the heat of a brandy flame, but close. Give the pan a toss every now and again, and let the liquid reduce. The mushrooms will soak up the wine, and the butter will begin to thicken and bind the sauce to the chicken. When reduced approximately 50 percent, add 2 jars of mushroom gravy (yes, dammit, from a jar, would that I only had three hours to prepare dinner, I'd make the gravy from scratch too...) (And yes, I said mushroom gravy. Brown gravy with a very typical chicken saute... Think outside the box.) Remember to get the elusive gravy that clings to the sides of the jar by adding a splash of water, putting the lid on, and giving it a good shake. Add said gravy-water to pan with gravy. Rice should be nearing completion at this point, if not done. The time it takes to do the chicken and sauce depends on what kind of flame you can get on your stove, I have pretty decent burners on mine. About it's only redeeming feature. I mean, seriously, you can't open the top to work on the wiring, the front ignitors only work when the burners are hot, the oven door has the front glass kicked out, the oven chooses when it wants to work and when it does not, and the broiler is therefore in the same boat, besides the fact that I am still getting bits of glass out of there... But, I digress, point is, the burners are good. As the gravy heats up, the original sauce (olive oil and butter) will begin to blend with the gravy, it'll look pretty creepy till then, just keep gently stirring it. An old wooden spoon is your friend here. Keep cooking down, once blended, the further reduction, and the butter will cause it to thicken, and stick to the chicken and things. Note, this is important, you don't want chicken bits swimming in watery gravy, you want a nice thick sauce that clings to the food. When thickened to satisfaction, serve over rice with a side vegetable of your choice. Regarding the side vegetable, I recommend green beans (damn near everyone has at least a can of green beans hiding in the back of the cupboard)... Drain half the water out, cook remainder seasoned with garlic salt, and pepper. Not too much, mind you. Serve with slotted spoon, the beans will be gently seasoned and quite tasty. Chicken should be tender and juicy. Onions reduced to nearly nothingness. Mushrooms still with a slight tenderness to them, not mushy. Sauce, thick and clingy, but not jellied. Rice, moist and fluffy.... And there you have it. This concludes the Sunday Evening House Community Dinner Series for this week. Now, what the hell do I want to cook up tomorrow? Southern fried chicken for salads? Chicken cacciatore? Burgers with Potatoes Dublin? Hmm... Quote of the Day: "Hmm... Needs something. Ah. Spice weasel. Nothing like a good blast of spice weasel to liven things up..." or "Holy shit, watch out! It's the Mormon Tabernacle Choir! Their harmonies are flawless, and their inflections beyond reproach!!! Run for your life!!!" Current Mood: accomplished Current Music: No Doubt - Come On Eileen (Comment on this)
Saturday, June 21st, 2008
10:51 am	A night, and then a morning... Last night was Joe's bachelor party... We went out for food, played a couple hours of laser tag, and then closed off the night going out bowling... It was a lot of fun. Just a bunch of guys hanging out. Having a good time. Hang the fact that we are all, and have been broke as hell, scrape together the quarters and make it happen... It was really a delightful time. After the evening's festivities ended, and we were all going our seperate ways, Luke, Kyle, and myself headed up to the brewery... It's been ages since I've been there, and an even longer time for Luke. The place was pretty empty, at a quarter past one in the morning, these things do happen. As we were sitting there, it suddenly hit me as to how long it's been since that happened... I mean, just us sitting there, cold beer, us talking... Neither of us could remember, it's been that long. It was a good end to a good evening. Today is the first day of summer... I plan to get some gardening done. Have to do some repairs around the house, a couple appliances have gone on the blink that require my attention. And the usual, laundry, cleaning, so on, and so forth. Typical weekend warrior type stuff. I love every minute of it :) Quote of the Day: "Dona nobis pacem" Current Mood: pleased Current Music: Megadeth - A Tout le Monde (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Friday, June 20th, 2008
5:34 am	Hmm... Dreams were all kinds of fucked up last night... Very very odd... Kind of like... kill bill meets grave of the fireflies meets my work all set in a strange little town where cars drove through school/hospital hallways, and every little house/storefront had the person's name above it, and like a little chibi face of said person... Very very strange... One of those things I'll never understand, why the hell do people insist on asking "what's wrong", if they don't want to hear the answer... Either go in for a penny, in for a pound, or... what was the term Eric used? Let well enough alone... Basically, asking what's wrong, pressing the issue, pushing the point, until you finally have had just about enough, now it's all you can think about, so you put it all out there, and are greeted by a litany of how your thoughts and feelings on the matter are wrong... Well why can't, blah blah blah... Just don't think about blah blah blah... Why don't some people like tomatoes, what the hell kind of question is that? The state of the world weighs heavily upon my mind these days... It does that sometime. And saying "it's not so bad", or thinking "that shouldn't bother you", well, these things don't help. Time helps. And it passes. It always does. The trip up north, just what I need. Don't ask the question if you don't want to know the answer. That does nothing constructive. Asking someone what's wrong, and then telling them that they're wrong for thinking that what's wrong is wrong, well, again, that doesn't help much. And then you get with the shadetree psychiatrist pouring down your throat what's "really" wrong, what you've been doing to deal with it, so on, and so forth... Give me some credit. Just leave well enough alone... It's time to get ready for work now. Cleaning up storm damage, I expect... Yes, the storm was last week. But people are still putting stuff out. And we like a nice clean city... It's what I do, after all :) (Comment on this)
Sunday, June 15th, 2008
6:24 pm	Can't wait to go up north... Not exactly sure how I'm going to scrape together the cash for gas, food, and as a particularly high-dollar item, a set of tires for the Jeep, but I'll figure something out. Sometimes, you just have to trust that things will happen, that you'll find a way, somehow or other. It'll be a nice trip, just what I need. Haven't been up there in quite some time, that's one of those things where the days, months, years, just slip away before you know it... I plan to change that... I actually got a fair amount done this weekend, wasn't exactly motivated or anything, I've just been spending my weekend relaxing. Cooked a tasty soup... Didn't get to mowing the lawn, it was stormy this morning anyway... Laundry, some repairs, little cleaning, but mainly just chilling out, something I don't do that often... Work tomorrow. Where does the weekend go? I wonder what I'll be on... (Comment on this)