idiot[box]

hey, i just got the program for the Melbourne Writer's Festival today, so now that i'm doubly inspired after yesterday's excitement, i went crazy and signed up for a day of hijinks in Federation Square - by 'a day of hijinks' i mean, two one-hour sessions separated by a large gap of time when i'll be able to feed/change the baby, give him a bit of a break, maybe go to Readings and buy books, possibly catch up with angstslashhope or another local friend...

so my main focus was on getting to see somebody really awe-inspiring, and I GO MARGO LANAGAN, every time, because that woman is goddamned brilliant. if you haven't read her story 'Singing My Sister Down', then stop reading this and go read that, right now. seriously. she's written a number of books of short stories - 'Red Spikes', 'White Time' and 'Black Juice' - and won loads of awards, and basically is the goddess of my writing dreams, ahem. so i get to see her and ...some other people talk about World Creation in YA fiction, which is gonna be so cool, as long as Ned sleeps, or breastfeeds, or is similarly settled (but he will be, because he is a very laid-back baby).

and three hours before that i'm gonna go see Sophie Cunningham from Meanjin, and Nam Le from Harvard Review and Kate Rowland from the BBC talk about divining and sourcing writing talent, in a panel entitled 'murmurs from the underground', which sounds pretty good. it was a toss-up btwn this and Helen Garner, and i like Garner a lot, but frankly i wanted to hear a few industry people speak.

i was kind of pissed off about a couple of things - for one, the MWF is doing it's usual 'too cool for genre' thing and COMPLETELY IGNORING anything that smells of sf or fantasy. they'll only admit to YA fiction or crime novels - otherwise, well, it's just not literature *posh sniff*, a position i find both exasperating (they do it every year) and pathetic (there's plenty of writers out there who don't write crime novels guys!).

the other thing that ticked me off a bit was that there's plenty of info for wheelchair access and school groups, but i had to ring up and find out IS THERE ANYWHERE IN FEDERATION SQUARE WHERE I CAN CHANGE THE BABY'S NAPPY??? i mean, for god's sake, this is my fourth kid, and the whole 'push the parents out' thing still really bugs the crap out of me. is it asking too much to have a designated space where you can change/feed/breastfeed a baby somewhere near the events areas? (ie somewhere you don't have to walk for miles? that's undercover? that's quiet? that has suitable facilities?) c'mon people, you can get this service in Myers, but you can't get it at an international writer's event? i rang up and asked were the seats designated, or can i park the pram next to me if i sit on the aisle, and the woman just...started babbling, didn't know, suggested that i MIGHT HAVE TO BUY A TICKET FOR MY 4-MTH OLD, and then got my number to call me back (which she didn't do).

i mean WTF???

i get the whole 'don't bring your screaming toddlers'...sure, fine. but ned's very new, needs breastfeeding every two hours, and is pretty much as quiet as can be (most new babies, like him, spend all their time sleeping). i understand the concern, but give me credit for knowing whether it'd be worth me coming along with a wailing kid in tow...i just don't get the attitude.

anyway, whinges aside, i'm very excited about going. it's gonna be FUN. whoot!


on another totally unrelated note: i went rooting through some old clothes in the shed today and OMG I AM COVERED IN ITCHING. i must have hit the dust-mite hell, or something, because i feel like i've broken out in hives. ARGH!!! i've tried baby-powder after a shower and it's not helping! i think all-over-body calamine lotion might be too much, but it's driving me crazy!

*me, squeeing*

today i found out that i won the Open short story section of the Katherine Susannah Pritchard Speculative Fiction Award for 2008.

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

omg, i am full of squee!

i totally CAN'T BELIEVE IT. a very nice woman called me up at lunchtime to tell me, and ask whether i would like someone to read an excerpt from the story at the awards presentation. the presentation is in mid-august, and i don't think it's going to be possible to attend, because it's in West Australia (a very long way to travel, for me and the baby). i'm a bit sad that i can't go, but...holy crap! i'm a bit gobsmacked...

the story was a piece about a midwife in a small country town, and it's set only a little way into the future, so i didn't really know if it would even qualify as 'speculative fiction'. but there you go... the award doesn't carry a massive cash prize (it's $200, i think), but it was a national contest, and it's run by a 'name' foundation, so it's kinda big kudos...

wow. i'm just...wow.

which goes to show - writing for comps is a crap shoot. the story was submitted to two other comps prior to this one, and nary a whisper. i guess someone on the panel just liked it or something *shakes head*. i've been writing originals for comps for about a year now, and i came second in the Fellowship of Australian Writer's Short Story section at the start of the year for another piece, so i decided i'd just keep plugging away...

wow. this is SO COOL.

*grins like a maniac*

i have a headache. ugh.

i have had The Lurgy for about three days now. took all my chinese medicine, and lots of paracetomol, and now i'm just at the headache-and-all-over-ache+tired all the time stage. plus, of course, the Cough From Hell.

blah.

still, Top Gear cheered me last night - i know australia is about three seasons behind, but i'm still enjoying it. the one where they all had to buy a British Leyland car from the 70's, and then figure out which was the best vehicle - when they filled up the Rover with water, the back door fell off!!! ha ha!! (it's a tired kind of laugh, but it's still a laugh)

i know, i know - no one gets that this is funny but me.

i've been re-watching Dr Who s2, the finale two-parter, and it means that i don't have to concentrate on anything except how dashing Tennie looks in his jitterbug suit, so that's nice.

i'm supposed to be conserving my energy so i can go out tomorrow and do some more work on SPN fic, but right now i don't have energy for anything except staring at the tv screen. and i think one of my back fillings is loose, so i might have to go to the dentist...horrors. dentists scare me. i just don't like them. and my dentist is actually a very kind person, but still.

anyway. blah. hope you're doing better, wherever you are.

fic rec: i rarely rec without reason, and i've been sifting through a few random things lately, but this grabbed me. you know my sis - when she turns on the juice she can write like nobody's business. this is almost a poem (free verse, neh), and it's cranked.

smooth as silk, rough as stone by niz4

SPN. short. bela/boys. brutal.

go read.

life: the boys were due back home tonight, but i've a feeling that it won't be until tomorrow. it's freezing here at the moment - hope they're not all icicled-over in their sleeping bags...

fan-wank: some thoughts...
Top Gear: originally thought this show would appeal exclusively to post-menopausal blokes, but it's not like that at all. it's hilariously funny, even the whole boys-toys aspect. did you see the one where they raced across london on bike/boat/car/public transport? and richard hammond is like some sort of scarily attractive chipmunk or something.

Robin Hood: why do i bother watching this? it is so unbelievably bad. and almost self-parodic in its incredible slashiness. and for god's sake, ( if you haven't seen s2 this spoils the end, but who cares? ). thank god richard whats-his-face is going to Spooks, so i don't have to tune in to this show anymore just to see him glower.

Dexter: i love this show so much. do you notice how Dexter eats all the time? he's ravenous, all the time, and they don't need to point this out with a big neon sign or elaborate exposition about why he's always trying to fill himself up with something. i love that. and i loved that at the end of the season ( which you don't want to read if you've not seen it ) which makes him so normal - the whole show is about normalising him, in so many ways (dealing with relationships, enjoying his job, making break-throughs in therapy...). it totally blurs the lines for us, that we can't see (by the end of the season) the difference between Dexter and a normal person. and a friend of mine who's into sf/horror was talking about the parallels between 'Dexter' subtext and Bush-era imperialist foreign policy, which made perfect sense: the idea that it's okay to kidnap and murder people in grisly ways if you're only killing evil people, that you can 'channel' your sociopathic control-freak tendencies 'for Good', and that makes it all perfectly all right...

love it.

NCIS: this show is such a blatant propaganda exercise, with it's bland throw-away lines about Gitmo and Homeland Security and the Axis of Evil (which makes you wonder - how did Abby end up working there?), and yet i find i can almost disregard that while i'm watching, because Michael Weatherley is so fetching. and, as i pointed out recently, he is the absolute identical twin of a young George Peppard, which I only discovered after watching 'Breakfast at Tiffany's'.

Dr Who: who on earth wrote the first ep of this season? it was woeful. and the Kylie thing...how does she manage to look kind of youthful and yet maintain an air of over-forty-ness? the mysteries of modern cosmetic surgery... it's like fake breasts - they look real, but you can tell they just ain't. and for some reason i really like Catherine Tate, even though i find her comedy stuff a bit hit and miss. still waiting for the ball to get rolling on this season though.


postscript - the boys have made it home! they smell of woodsmoke and fish, and they look like they've been living in a cave. i served up toast and milk, and now the dulcet tones of the Sydney-Collingwood replay is rippling through the chill night air...

back to business!

* the big boys are going camping tomorrow. i've spent all day helping them get ready to go - i feel like i should be going camping, considering how much effort i've put into the preparations (i'm like "FOR GOD'S SAKE will you GO already?"). i cleaned out both the cars, packed toys/books/games, prepared food for them to take, minded the kids while other things were organised, made lunches for everyone, fed neglected animals etc etc...and then my man turns around at the end of the day and says "but what did you do??" and i...*sigh*

newsflash for my husband: we are all working quite hard here, you know.

guh.

* my baby is very cute. when he wakes up for a feed, all groggy and half-opened eyes and nice-smelling, and he kind of hits me on the breast to make it COME OUT FASTER, GODDAMMNIT!!! and i am total mush for him at the moment. he crooks his finger, i come running.

he is so enormous. i still can't believe i had such a huge baby. he is 4months tomorrow, and he is already 8 kilos. that is like two big bags of potatoes. he is Behemoth Baby.

* i saw a trailer for Quantum of Solace care of meyerlemon (thanks lemon), and omg Daniel Craig is so...craggy. and manly. alternately hard-bitten manly and soulful manly. goodness.

* yes, my elder sons are still pissing into bottles. i told them that they need to STOP USING UP ALL MY BOTTLES AND JARS or i won't have any jars for making jam. i asked them if they like jam (they do), and then pointed out that i can't use the jars they pee into for jam-making. they were quite...nonplussed.

* need to stop worrying about losing the pregnancy weight. Behemoth Baby made my body go all kinds of weird shapes, and i yearn for the time when i'll fit into my normal clothes again. but i'm losing nearly a kilo a week, what with all the b'feeding, and if i lose too much too fast my milk supply might get affected, so i have to remind myself to relax. i wonder if i will ever look the Way I Was Before, but then i think, jesus, i have four kids, how could i imagine that i will ever look The Way I Was Before? huh. oh well.

* i am trying to get a copy of 'The Road' by Cormac McCarthy. folk say it is good.

g'night all. happy 4th of july, for my Yank friends :)

life: my two eldest sons, 7 and 5 years, are currently on a strange planet that i musthave missed in astronomy class somehow...

their latest fave pastime is putting wee in bottles. their own wee. in bottles. in my toilet.

is it just boys? cos i sure as hell don't remember doing this stuff when i was that age. i laugh, and then i just kind of go...blwergh. i put my foot down. no wee-bottles in the toilet, on the backstep, near the house. thanks very much. do they listen?

well, what do you think?

let me tell you, waking up and going into the loo with your hair standing up all over and your mouth with that crummy taste and...wee bottles in the toilet. god help me.

i have to go now, because 'That Mitchell and Webb Look' is on. i have a thing for Sir Digby Chicken Cesar and, while we're on that's subject? wee in bottles? - that's numberwang, ladies and gents, that's numberwang.

LIFE: me and G were talking about how we don't want to work full-time again. time is too short. i guess too it's something that comes with having the kids, and having our own place - there's so much to do, and never enough time to do it in.

i've been reading Peter Singer's book 'How Are We To Live?' and he quoted someone, a guy who was one of the powerbrokers of the Greed Is Good 80's school who later changed his life, and the quote was 'No one ever looked back, while on their deathbed, and wished that they'd spent more time in the office', and that really resonated with me. The premise of the book is that people need to live an examined life, that you need to find more to live for than just self-interest or caring for your family or yourself. his theory is that it comes down to making an ethical choice - that ultimately people need to find meaning in life, and that meaning is found through an ethical life. it's a fascinating book, and quite an old book now, but the philosophy still holds valid.

FANDOM: i went over to a mate's place and watched the finale of SPN on Sunday night - that was a doozy. i know that this season hasn't been as popular as 1 and 2, for some reason, but i've enjoyed the hell out of it. and i'm still trying to work out now how they're going to make it work come season 4 - much as i've come to love Paddleboat, i still don't think he could carry a whole season on his own. plus it would kind of defeat the purpose of it all, yeah? i mean, the thread has always been about the brothers and their r'ship... so bring it on Kripke. tell me how you're going to get out of this one.

LJ: saying again, it's nice to be back. it's nicer still to be able to do a quick post like this (cheers, Telstra). i ran around and said a big dorky 'hi' to everyone i could think of - if i haven't caught up with you yet, hello! and thanks to everyone who sent me welcome back messages - it's so cool to catch up with everyone!

i'm going to get round to the icon shopping soon - i've already reno'ed the theme, as you can see. if you've sent me links for icons, thank you - i'm also gonna keep a look out for Life on Mars stuff, if anyone's got good links. and you know i'm always on the lookout for good fic...

WRITING: i'm about two-thirds the way through 'Ashtaroth', which is my Grand Finale SPN fic. i'm really looking forward to finishing it and then the whole shebang will be put into a cafepress book...that's the plan, anyway. i'm very tempted to put up parts of it as i go, but i'm restraining myself, as i tend to go back and change stuff too regularly. but soon it'll be done, and then...i'll get back to work on writing originals for comps. i've got a couple of results due back soon - i'm not getting wound up about it, comps are a crap-shoot, i've come to realise - but i won something in november, which was enough to motivate me a bit. at least the comp-writing keeps me producing work regularly, and that's the main thing at the moment.

i'm going to try and get along to parts of the Age Melbourne Writer's Festival - if anyone else is heading down that way for the festival, let me know...

cheers :)

yep, this really is it. i'm back - wow! *breathes deep and sighs heartily*

welcome one and all to the wonderful world of hi-tech wireless cross-my-palm-with-silver-and-sell-your-soul-to-the-Devil Telstra world of broadband internet. and none too soon - i was about to gnaw off my own thumbs with the amount of time it was taking me to do basic emailing and shit. yikes.

anyway, hi to every and any one i've been neglecting so badly over the past two years or so (has it been that long?) and expect me to do some actual replying to comments etc - i know, i know, it's a crazy world.

in honour of the occasion, i'm going to start shopping for icons. anyone got any they wanna rec? i'm still burning with the SPN love (finale tomorrow - oh noes!), but i'm also open to a bit of david tennant, richard whats-is-face from Robin Hoodie, Dexter bad-assery and er, anyone/anything else you think is worth a gernsey. let me know.

all is well here - my kids are all asleep, bloke's watching the footy, the baby's a dream (he slept from 8 til 7am last night! i can't believe it), and i'm hard at work on the last SPn fic...

life is good.

hey everyone :)

it was so lovely getting people's replies from my last post, because i had a feeling like LJ life had kind of passed me by...you are all really thoughtful, thank you!!*is warm and glowy*

so i had a baby!! wow :) ... i'm kind of at a loss for words (still - it's been 3 weeks already)

I had a baby boy on 8 March at 1.24pm - his name is Ned Samuel. he's my fourth son, and my last baby (yes, really), so now i have this really beautiful feeling like all my children are around me.

Ned was born safely at home after a two-and-a-half hour labour. he was eleven-and-a-half pounds at birth (yes, you read that right:)) - he was a hard push, and came out a bit bruised and blue, but after a whiff of oxygen he was fine. i was coached through the pushing by my amazing midwife, Sally, and did not have a tear - second stage lasted about an hour.

i had a minor hemmorage (800-1000ml) after the birth during third stage, but by the time the ambulance arrived i was stable and had stopped bleeding. i was given two bags of IV fluids on site in my bedroom, and when the ambulance officers felt ok about my blood pressure, and had an assurance from Sally that she would be with me for the next 24 hours, they were happy to go. i signed a waiver saying that i did not wish to be transferred to hospital under the circumstances.

my husband was fantastic, he supported me through the whole thing, and all our other children were present at Ned's birth - i think they thought it was a bit like watching a nature documentary or something. we had plenty of talks with them about it before the event, so they had some idea of what to expect.

that's the nuts and bolts - but actually, having another baby is a big tide of feelings and minor/major ups-and-downs that sort of carries you along on this raft of emotional energy. by the time you get to the fourth one you know a little of what's in store, but i still feel a bit elated/exhausted and busy and 'juggling'. my body feels a bit wrung out, but i know that will pass too, and soon i'll be able to get fit again. we are all taking a bit of a break from RL at the moment - the kids are on school holidays and Beloved is on leave+holidays, so we are just kind of floating along, not trying to actually do anything - i'm assuming that when the break is over and normal life (work, school) recommences, then the wheels will fall off to some extent, but that's okay. at least we'll all be kind of rested.

anyway, everybody, thanks for all the good wishes and the love - believe me, i'm feeling it! thanks for all the moral support too. i hope you're all doing well, and i'll get online again soon for an update, or maybe even read some of my flist pages and do some actual replying, if i'm feeling really self-indulgent :)

take care, and lots of love and hugs to you all
:) ooxx

oh wow, hey everyone.

i suppose it's gonna sound a bit Captn Obvious, but i haven't been around lately (for about 7 months or something). there are a couple of reasons, and the first one isn't that i've moved to greatestjournal or anything - it's way more pragmatic than that. but i wanted to drop in really quickly, and say hi, and tell everyone that i've really missed this, like you wouldn't believe, and also that i'm gong to be out of sight for a little while longer. so hello to everyone, and especially to bantha_fodder and niz4 and headrush100 and angualupin and mnemosyne and a bunch of other people that i'm really sorry about not keeping in touch with. yes, i'm hopeless. please forgive me, i'm hoping to get back online soon.

a couple of things:

* i'm still obsessing over SPN, but i'm also now bothering everyone by banging on about Life On Mars, and i've decided that John Simm is actually rather a bit of something else, ahem.

* i got two Cafepress books from my bro for xmas - the SPN gen anthology "Shotguns and Saltlines" and the SPN meta-esays compilation "Some of us Really Do Watch for the Plot", and they are both made of awesome, and if you're into the show then you should go get them.

* i've been writing a lot of originals for story comps, and have been having a go at that, and really liking it heaps, and i'll be getting a few results from the most recent comps soon.

* but i'm also about 50% away from finishing Ashtaroth, which is my last SPN series-fic. i'm also thinking of making the whole series into a cafepress book, because i'd just like to see it all in print, even if i'm the only one who ever buys it.

* we finished the Shed, which has been the most exciting thing ever. it mneans that my house is 100 times more liveable and uncluttered, and it means that we now have a workspace for carpentry and storage and stuff, and we also now have an office which is unbelievably wonderful, and i think i want to divorce my children and move into the office full-time. and as soon as i get a fast-speed modem connection i probably will.

anyway, there's a couple of reasons i won't be around for the next little bit, and they are -

1] that we are currently unable to get anything faster than a dial-up connection for the internet. as you can imagine, this has made it so frustrating to use the i'net that i have practically boycotted the entire venture. i can't describe to you how infuriating it is to deal with Telstra and have to wait for ages for every goddamn page to load. half the time i click on the mouse and then go make a cup of tea, read the paper, etc while i'm waiting. this has made my online work practically impossible.

so it's come down to either banging my head against the wall every time i get online, or just gritting my teeth and limiting my online time to almost nothing - i've opted for the latter. hence, my lack of presence here of late. we would like to think that broadband will become available here in rural victoria someday soon, but until then or until the costs of a sat-connection go down somewhat, i will be an infrequent visitor or worse, a voiceless lurker. i'll always try to reply to people's comments whenever i have access to a fast-speed connection in melbourne, but until our situation changes, think of me, fondly waving from the sidelines *sniff*.

2] the other matter is, of course, that i'm about to have another kid. i'm leaning over a really huge tummy at the moment, and i'm due in about 2 weeks, although me and the midwife are both in agreement that this baby could be cooked sometime in advance of my due date. i don't know if it's another boy (odds are high) and i have really swollen feet, and i'm really ready to not be pregnant any more. this is my last baby - i feel that very strongly - and i'm feeling both nostalgic and relieved that it will soon all be over. i'll let you know what happens with the birth and everything as soon as possible, but right now, sitting at a computer late into the night is not my preferred mode of existence - i get a bit too physically over it to sit up in this chair for hours and hours. but hey, wish me luck, and i'll tell you if everything went smoothly.


anyway, this has turned into a major epistle. hope you're all doing okay, and did i mention i miss you all? take care, and hopefully i'll start emerging again sometime in the next six months or so (by which time you will all have left, or gotten bored of me, or drifted into other forums - ha!).

all the best though, til then

*smooch*

hi. sorry to be out of touch for so long, i do feel a bit bad that i've kind of missed things while out of the loop. but i've had a few things on - kids' school holidays and parents visiting from interstate and so on - that have been a bit all-consuming.

i also found out that i'm pregnant. omg, not again! you're saying - but yes, it's true, we have opted for one of the fabled Large Families that Peter Costello so lovingly espouses (he can go sod himself, btw), and everyone else just thinks is plain unadulterated silliness or possibly a case of insanity.

it's so weird, how four kids has suddenly become a Large Family. i remember when we lived in Sumatra, and lived with a family that had nine. they had three bedrooms, and some kids slept in the living room, and it was a bit squeezy, but that's just how it is. everyone got fed. it was rowdy, but nice. that's kind of what we're aiming for, i think - rowdy, but nice.

every older woman i've ever spoken to says how now that their sons and daughter are all off washing dishes in London or living with their boyfriends in Hobart they wish they'd had more kids. y'know - to stagger the leaving. and to kind of ensure that you've always got one around for a visit.

not saying that the whole idea doesn't leave me a bit kind of blah-feeling. i mean, my last one is only fifteen months. so the spacing is, er, tight. like the first two. but i wanted to get it like that so they'd keep each other company, and so it'd all be over and done with. does that make sense? anyway, i do feel a bit tired at the idea, sure. but let's face it - in five years they'll all be off at school and then...well, then you're at home on your own (reading books, playing on the computer, writing stuff, making things, baking...ah, sounds nice).

so i'm about 5 weeks preggers now, and feeling bilious (the horrible bit), and we're keepng it all very low-key, as i've decided to have the 10-12 week scan. so i'm holding off the Big Reveal to all and sundry until then. haven't even told the other kids yet - easier in some ways, as they get anticipatory a bit too early in the whole process and are rather like car passengers ('are we there yet?') by the last trimester.

anyway, i'll keep you posted.

Ashtaroth is in the process of being completed written. i've done the first bit. it might take a while, as my creative process tends to get a bit uterus-focused (see note on spelling below)when I'm pregnant.

read 'Deathly Hallows' and liked it.

why do people no longer stick to the double-the-consonant rule???? it applies when the last two letters are a single vowel followed by a consonant, and when the added ending (eg. -er, -ing, -ed) begins with a vowel. when did focussed become focused? i've seen numerous other examples which currenly escape me. i know i'm anal. somebody please help me.


hope you're all well :)

hey ho.


from tripoli8 via lyra_wing:

When you see this post, quote from Doctor Who on your LJ

(While going through a bin-ful of alien weapons)

The Doctor: Broken - broken - broken - hairdryer - broken...


so now, we are on holidays. i am actually quite tired from getting through the term, and i'd really like to have a couple of restful days at home, but instead we're going to Melbourne. *sigh* well, the weather isn't that inviting anywhere, so off we go. (still adjusting to the whole "rain" concept)

i should be working on that fic - you know the one. with Sam and his niece, and finales and so on. but i'm struggling, on a number of fronts. first, i feel like i'm a bit washed out after the last fic - you know the one. i hear that 30,000-odd words qualifies as 'novella', so that's kind of understandable. also, i'm trying for a different mood and style, to some extent, and that's always a struggle - in my case, it's often a struggle to make it readable. i get a lot out of cut-up narrative and mosaic-style construction, but i do actually want to tell a story as well, not just create ambience, so...i struggle.

finally, as has been the issue with this fandom right from the start, i'm not of the U.S. and i know this may seem a paltry detail, but in fact, a hell of a lot of the show (particularly in good fic, i find, and you can go see onelittlesleep's stuff if you doubt me) creates texture from the details of 'being on the road'.

i'm talking about the landscape, which i only ever see on telly or in still photos, but also about the smaller stuff, the brand-names and the accents and weather from state to state, and also the larger stuff, like people's lifestyles in different areas, the general mood of a place... it's like when people from the U.S. on LJ say "oh, yeah, well you know what it's like in Ohio", when actually i don't have a fucking clue what they're talking about.

so i'm kind of stuck with fabricating moods and landscapes from the scraps i have. the issues around each character, what's in their heads, becomes the tapestry of the landscape - the emotional landscape, at least. but sometimes you just feel the need for some serious backdrop, or there's a sense of the characters walking and talking on the frickin' moon or something. it's like they're playing against a white background.

so, that's the struggle. to create background without making it too wrong, or making it sound like a travelogue or something. it has to sound natural. i've been reading "Blue Highways', by William Least Heat Moon, which is outdated and off-the-track a bit (i'm currently taking a character on a journey from San Francisco, CA to Kansas City via the I-85) but at least it has real people and real, um, stuff.

i don't know why i have so much less trouble writing for UK shows - i guess some of the vernacular is adaptable, and it's just something i know more about - also the country isn't like a million miles big. i find it less exhausting overall.


anyway - moan, moan, the end. sorry.


PS: if i watch the season finale-part2 on monday and a certain thing does not happen which should happen, then i'm gonna be extrememly pissed, Kripke and you know i mean it because i just spelt it wrong.

REAL LIFE:

* my sister sent me a Laura Veirs album, 'Year of Meteors', and this is making my life very happy right now. my current favourite line? -

"Would you light the lamp, dear? And see fish without eyes...bats with their heads...hanging down towards the ground...Would you still come around? Come around..."

* went camping with a whole bunch of other friends at the Grampians (mountains NW of the state). absolutely freezing, but excellent. big kids disappeared into the bush with their mates, never saw them...baby was a bit more like hard work, but okay. we had a great time. i'd been feeling like i was missing out, after absenting myself from the previous two camping trips. now i see what the fuss was all about. need a woollen cover for my pillow, though, if we go camping in zero degrees again. brrrr.

* while i was cooking, a friend saw me throw salt over my shoulder, and cried out 'Ha! I saw that!' and pointed her finger. felt like i'd been caught in some onanistic act or something. it was just kind of surprising, the way she reacted.

we are too rational now for superstition, obviously.

* been reading - Kerouac 'On the Road', PD James 'The Children of Men' (no desire to see film), and compiled essays ed. by Jane Espenson 'Finding Serenity: Anti-heroes, Lost Shepherds and Space Hookers in Joss Whedon's Firefly'.

BOTH REAL LIFE AND OTHER LIFE:

* my guy gave me a present (this never happens) - unbelievable. Nos. 1-3 of the new Season Eight Buffy comic, written by JW himself. at first i thought 'oh, my dorky guy!' (he is utterly non-fannish, in fact, could almost be labelled the anti-fan, and may not even realise that i am multi-fandom, as BtVs was my first love), and then i thought, 'well gee, this is kind of cool', and then i read them and was all 'oh my god, i love you so much!!'. joss still rules, btw.

OTHER LIFE:

* saw POTC the Third - to whit, a resounding 'blah'. and someone should remind gore verbinski that additional Johnnies does not a good film make.

* my friend came home from vietnam with - god love him - a copy of season 3 BSG just for me. i haven't watched it yet. i am restraining myself.

* updated goblok archive last night with everything i've written for the last while and also a bunch of SPN recs (i'm still catching up with other recs). the SPN rec list is becoming alarmingly long. many of the stories there are quite old now, but i have trouble keeping up with reading, there's so much being brought out each week, so unless something is thrust at me i often just skim for authors i know and trust, or try out recs from reputable sources. nonetheless, the general quality of writing in this fandom is pretty incredible - i honestly haven't seen such variety and consistency in quality since BtVs, and (as i realised recently) i've been in fic for nearly ten years.

i've flogged niz4's stuff shamelessly, but yeah, her stuff is awesome and them's the breaks - blood's blood, baby - and i think i might just put in a direct link for her archive speak_roughly and give general gushing.

otherwise, there's lots of things that are a real joy to read - and the list is hardly what i'd call comprehensive, there's plenty more to add. speaking of which...

* go read fryadvocate's newie, 'A Season for Crows', it's very twisty-AU and very noir, she has a lovely sense of detail and a very tactile focus in her descriptions - Dean feels really in his body in this one.

* read an essay on 'The Role of chivalry in Firefly' by John C Wright, in which was contained the quote: "(re: protocols of utopia/apocolypse in sf - on the subject of apocolyptic futures) Children are taken into combat because there is no home, no safe place to leave them." my emphasis - remind you of anything? all those John-Winchester-is-an-abusive-parent people, take note.

* my other lovely sis has just now begun her first ever blog!! bless 'er...if you want to, go say hi to ars_medicina, and read her chortling moments of med-school madness.



wow, this is very long now. so i'll say goodnight.

this will be my last foray into this fandom before season 2 starts. i promise i will get back to writing Supernatural fic, er, soon.


Title: a day in the life
Media: Primeval
Rating: PG-13 (?? - language, tasty extras)
Spoilers: Season 1, past episode four.

Summary: She stacks the bread and butter plates and puts the cutlery on top. She's deliberately not looking at him, and how he knows this he really can't say, but he just does. It's some kind of arrangment they have, without having ever really talked about it. Abby/Connor – for my own personal entertainment.

( a day in the life )



















and can i just say, on the whole recent unpleasantness - shame, Livejournal, shame.

so, before i go all to jelly and go watch Primeval...

so i just tripped over the whole FanLib thing, and checked out everything that icarusancalion (who seems to have gone into hiding, sadly) had to say on the whole shemozzle, and then i went off and read Henry Jenkins' assessment of the disaster, and then i realised that:

a) it's just the same old crap - the commercial mega-industry trying to muscle in on something that 'omg-we're-not-making-money-out-of-yet'

b) where the hell is there a quiet space where we can just respond to art (in any medium - tv, film, literature, comics, sculpture, dance, whatever) in our own way? in an active, creative personal way, as opposed to a knee-jerk 'i'll buy it' way? as a writer and a parent and a teacher it's the active creative response that i will be pushing every time, rather than the 'buy the t-shirt and the Happy Meal' response. so which side is FanLib really on?

c) i've been writing fic, i added up the other day, for nearly ten years. which is a bit omg, and a bit *ulp* and frankly it made me wonder whether i will ever publish more of my work in a not-online way. but honestly, this FanLib thing made me realise that this 'little hobby' (like the needlepoint and the recipe-sharing of earlier days) contributes to a larger endeavour, and it's not just the development of my own writing skills. it's a part of a larger community effort that does, in whatever way, enrich the culture (and i won't even start about how it's mostly a women's culture). and it bothers the hell out of me to see FanLib hiking its eyebrows speculatively at my culture and my community, and try to 'put one over' the writers and readers with a view to strip-mining the culture. it's just pathetic.

d) and it makes me very happy to realise that all the things that interest me about Lj and fic culture are all the things that drive me crazy too - the gloss and bitchiness and the way the sheer fluidity of the community - and that these very things are what makes it hard for people of FanLib's ilk to get their claws in. because it's like trying to hold water in your hands.

so have fun, FanLib - give it your best shot. i'll just sit here with everyone else and have fun watching you flail around in the dark waters of the fic community. it'll be like watching the Aurora Borealis! enjoy :)


and now i'm gonna go off and enjoy Andrew-Lee Potts and his lovely bum-fluff moustache...

and now, for something completely different...Primeval fic.


Title: one fantastic package
Media: Primeval
Rating: G

Summary: He is not, after all, dead, although the look on his face suggests that he thinks maybe he might be, in which case he's wondering why Purgatory looks so much like edge-of-suburbia community forest in outer Cranham. Abby/Connor – strictly H/C fluff.

( one fantastic package )




omg, sas, are you happy now? now you're It!

fourth, final part of ( Arcadia )



back - part 1, part 2, part 3.

thanks for reading

third part of ( Arcadia )




back - part 1, part 2.
continue - part 4 (final)

second part of ( Arcadia )



back - part 1.
continue - part 3, part 4.