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More from the FFL Universe
The challenge this week is:
Sitting on the floor beside her parents’ bed, dressed in a yellow outfit with tiny bees, PJ Luthor gummed the rounded tip of a realistically shaped, purple dildo.
“Oh. My. God. Lex!” Clark’s face burned as he rushed to take PJs chew-toy away from her. Immediately, she began to howl, reaching her chubby hands up. “Lex!”
Lex came running into the bedroom. “Is PJ okay? I just left her for a minute—”
Clark threw the slobbered-on dildo at Lex’s head. It hit him with a resounding thwak and fell to the floor. “You let her chew on a dildo!”
Lex picked up the purple dildo in wide-eyed dismay. “I did not! I would never give her this!”
“Then why does she have it?!” Clark’s yell competed with PJ’s shrieking.
“I don’t know! I didn’t give it to her!”
“Do you know where that’s been?!”
“Of course I know where it’s been! I’m intimately familiar with where it’s been!”
“And now it’s been in our daughter’s mouth.” Clark stabbed a finger in Lex’s direction. “It’s all your fault.”
“My fault? You’re the one who bought this.” Lex waved the dildo around in emphasis. “I just laid there and took it.”
“What’s happening?” Sam entered the bedroom, yawning, his hair sleep mussed. His reddish brows furrowed when he saw what Lex held. “What’s that?”
“Oh. My. God.” Clark buried his face in his hands with mortification.
Lex hid the dildo behind his back. “Nothing. Shouldn’t you be in bed?”
“I can’t sleep. It’s too loud,” Sam said, as PJ’s cries hit glass-shattering notes. Sam tried to peek around Lex, tugging at his arm. “What is that? Is it a candle?”
“Yes! A candle!” Lex switched hands, keeping the dildo away from Sam. “It’s a candle. For when the power goes out.”
“I’ve never seen a purple candle,” Sam said. “Why is it curved like that?”
“It’s a special candle,” Lex said desperately. “To cast light around corners.” Clark made a choking noise. PJ’s sobbing trickled off.
“Neat!” Sam hung from Lex’s arm, as Lex raised the dildo high above his head. “Can we try it?”
“‘May we’ and no we cannot. Clark!” Lex threw the dildo at Clark. Clark looked up in time for it to smack him between the eyes. He lobbed and caught it. Spinning around, he opened the nightstand drawer, shoved it inside, and shoved the drawer shut.
“Please? I want to see how it works,” Sam begged.
“No,” Lex said firmly. “It’s time for you to go back to bed.”
“That’s not fair,” Sam whined. “Why does PJ get to play with toys and I have to go to bed?”
“It’s time for PJ to g—” Lex stopped mid-word and stared in horror. “Clark,” he gurgled.
Clark looked down. An open Tupperware box of sex toys peeked from beneath the bed, which PJ was pulling out one by one. She looked up, a vibrating anal probe in her chubby fist, and blew him a bubbly kiss.
-End
Dedicated to Beth, for it's one day to be you
The challenge this week is:
Sitting on the floor beside her parents’ bed, dressed in a yellow outfit with tiny bees, PJ Luthor gummed the rounded tip of a realistically shaped, purple dildo.
“Oh. My. God. Lex!” Clark’s face burned as he rushed to take PJs chew-toy away from her. Immediately, she began to howl, reaching her chubby hands up. “Lex!”
Lex came running into the bedroom. “Is PJ okay? I just left her for a minute—”
Clark threw the slobbered-on dildo at Lex’s head. It hit him with a resounding thwak and fell to the floor. “You let her chew on a dildo!”
Lex picked up the purple dildo in wide-eyed dismay. “I did not! I would never give her this!”
“Then why does she have it?!” Clark’s yell competed with PJ’s shrieking.
“I don’t know! I didn’t give it to her!”
“Do you know where that’s been?!”
“Of course I know where it’s been! I’m intimately familiar with where it’s been!”
“And now it’s been in our daughter’s mouth.” Clark stabbed a finger in Lex’s direction. “It’s all your fault.”
“My fault? You’re the one who bought this.” Lex waved the dildo around in emphasis. “I just laid there and took it.”
“What’s happening?” Sam entered the bedroom, yawning, his hair sleep mussed. His reddish brows furrowed when he saw what Lex held. “What’s that?”
“Oh. My. God.” Clark buried his face in his hands with mortification.
Lex hid the dildo behind his back. “Nothing. Shouldn’t you be in bed?”
“I can’t sleep. It’s too loud,” Sam said, as PJ’s cries hit glass-shattering notes. Sam tried to peek around Lex, tugging at his arm. “What is that? Is it a candle?”
“Yes! A candle!” Lex switched hands, keeping the dildo away from Sam. “It’s a candle. For when the power goes out.”
“I’ve never seen a purple candle,” Sam said. “Why is it curved like that?”
“It’s a special candle,” Lex said desperately. “To cast light around corners.” Clark made a choking noise. PJ’s sobbing trickled off.
“Neat!” Sam hung from Lex’s arm, as Lex raised the dildo high above his head. “Can we try it?”
“‘May we’ and no we cannot. Clark!” Lex threw the dildo at Clark. Clark looked up in time for it to smack him between the eyes. He lobbed and caught it. Spinning around, he opened the nightstand drawer, shoved it inside, and shoved the drawer shut.
“Please? I want to see how it works,” Sam begged.
“No,” Lex said firmly. “It’s time for you to go back to bed.”
“That’s not fair,” Sam whined. “Why does PJ get to play with toys and I have to go to bed?”
“It’s time for PJ to g—” Lex stopped mid-word and stared in horror. “Clark,” he gurgled.
Clark looked down. An open Tupperware box of sex toys peeked from beneath the bed, which PJ was pulling out one by one. She looked up, a vibrating anal probe in her chubby fist, and blew him a bubbly kiss.
-End
Dedicated to Beth, for it's one day to be you
as a sidenote: a friend of mine works in a sex shop and i went to visit her one day and brought jigsaw. she was worried at first that he would chew all the dildos, but he was so good and just sniffed curiously. *g*
Dear Lex:
You are rich. You can afford a lockable box.
Dear Clark:
You should have told Lex to buy a locking box.
Hee.
Ohmygod...Why is it curved ... to cast light around corners...BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! That's it, boys, quick on the feet, that's parenting *G*!
First Rule: Never let the sex toy container anywhere that cannot be closed off and locked *G*.
Oh my...god, I love this universe...why is it curved...
~ Morgaine
*still laughing*
I did read FFL a few days ago and I loved it. You are such a good writer--your writing is so true to life. I've been looking for sequels. Are there any, or are there just these drabbles? (which are great, btw)
Great. Can't wait for more of your work. *g*
Children really are the death of an adventurous sex life for their parents.
I so can understand Clark's mortification and I still feel no real pity. *giggles some more*
I love PJ and Sam - thanks for posting this and giving me a fun start for the day.
Hello gawd
BWAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Please, for the love of all that is holy, never stop writing.
That is all.
*falls in the floor laughing*
xoxo,
Monica
That was awesome.
Laughing too hard to write.
THanks.
that's it Lex...share the blame!
Oh Mai Gawd
Back to read some more,
Take care,
Atie
I Love the story this is based on, I've read it so many times I'm surprized I haven't worn the site out. This is such a cute story, must go and read the rest, oh and the pictures are just great.
micetea
i've been crying for over an hour after finding out my best friend's been in hospital with a tumour.
this made me laugh - something i really needed.
*hugs*
thank you
oh god.... *guffaws*
*rotflmao!*
I was happy to see you have an lj (I'll be able to raid your memories to maybe find a story or two that you wrote and I haven't read :P Prepare yourself for the stalking :P) when I started reading The Happy Endings Verse, and I've been reading them for the last hour. I was going to leave you one big comment at the end, but this one? This one is pure genius, I loved it. Hilarious like nothing else ;)
*goes off to read the next*