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Drowning Away |
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| And All That Could Have Been... | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
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| ice is starting to fall ending what had begun i am locked in my head with what i've done i know you tried to rescue me didn't let anyone get in left with a piece of all that was and all that could have been | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| Jul. 18th, 2008 @ 09:42 am Goal: Anti-Sugar | |||
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Current Music: Forsaken - As I Lay Dying
I am falling off the wagon big-time. When I first got the diagnosis of diabetes (Diabeetus!), it scared me straight. Quit non-diet sodas cold turkey, stopped with the sweets, started working out and eating better. It was a good time, dropping between 30 and 40 lbs. And I've stuck to the diet sodas; there's no way I can stomach a normal soda anymore, not even with alcohol.But diet sodas are now the extent of my prevention. I eat cookies, ice cream. Hell, this morning my coworker brought in doughnuts, so of course I should partake. I mean, I shouldn't be left out, right? It's kind of humorous at times, especially when we joke about the Wilford Brimley DIABEETUS commercials. But I know that I'm killing myself. It would almost be better if I felt some pain or something immediately bad when I crossed the line. That way I could get the immediate 'bad dog' reaction and correct myself. But no, this is the long-term killer and I'm failing. I haven't had an A1C in over a year, and I know the next one is going to be telling. My doc prescribed Metformin for me to take for the rest of my life to help lower numbers. For stupid excuse reasons though, I haven't picked up the scrip to start. At first, it was money. Then it was having waited too long. I think deep down, it's because I don't want to be like my parents with their overloaded daily pill planners. *sigh* Course of Action: Call doc today and lie, get them to send new prescription to pharmacy so I can start. After this weekend, cut back on the sweets drastically. Wish me luck. | ||
| May. 13th, 2008 @ 09:38 pm Isabella Rosellini pr0n | |||
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Current Music: Deathstar - Sevendust
Umm, wow.http://www.sundancechannel.com/greenpor | ||
| May. 1st, 2008 @ 06:17 pm Good and the Bad | |||
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Current Music: Weight of the World - Evanescence
Visited the chiropractor again today, this time for an adjustment. My spine is pretty out of shape, the most disturbing part is that I carry 50 lbs. more on my left side/foot than my right (Fifty? That's like having a whole Anne on my shoulder!). So had him work on me some. The jury's still out on how I feel overall, but I'm hopeful. I'm naturally pessimistic to any medicine or treatment that seems the slightest bit holistic (hippie!). I can hear my mom's voice now reminding me of her back pain and how not to trust these guys. Eh. Monday I'll discuss things with them and decide if I can afford the treatments, or better yet, if I can afford not to. I just want the lower back pain to go away.The good? I'm out on the back deck with the laptop, typing this entry. And I've been writing on my new project for nearly an hour. A creative change of pace is a good thing. | ||
| Apr. 29th, 2008 @ 11:27 am Post Game Day | |||
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Current Music: End - The Cure
I figured I had an opportunity to write here, since I'm not at the office. Instead, I'm in front of my PC with the heating pad working on my lower back. Not sure if it was something I did Friday night (a possibility) or if it was walking across NCSU campus in my blown out sandals to get lunch. Either way, my lower back hurts miserably. It's not a constant pain, it's only when I shift or move. =P I'm hoping it will resolve itself on its own without any medical intervention. I have dreadful fears of hernias or severe back injuries like my mom had years ago.( Game Day ramblings ) Also adding on to the weekend was a night out at the Blue Martini with my wife and local crew. We were celebrating the birthday of dear | ||
| Apr. 12th, 2008 @ 11:58 pm What the... | |||
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Current Music: Passenger - Deftones
I wish I knew what the hell is wrong with me. I'm going through a lot with work these days, and I'm not complaining. But this isn't about work, it's about my free time. I am bored. I'm not playing WoW. Not playing any of the games I have for the Xbox 360 - Assassins Creed, Bioshock, didn't finish either of those. I have trouble bringing myself to read the many novels I have waiting. Can't motivate myself to write anything, which is what I'd love to be doing. No guitar, no artwork. And I don't know what's changed or what's wrong. Yeah, the weekly game I've been playing in has been on hiatus for a month or so due to impending babies, but it feels like more than that. Night after night, the wife is working on her projects and I'm just here. Bored. Reminds me of when I was ten years old. | ||
| Apr. 10th, 2008 @ 12:22 pm Follow-up on Sleepy Battlestar problem | |||
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Current Music: King of Pain - Mudvayne
For those who recall my dilemma last week, it gets better.We get around to watching the recorded season premiere of Battlestar Galactica last night. I queue it up, and as it starts playing, it locks up every 5-10 seconds. The audio continues, but the digital image freezes. Tried moving on through three or four minutes, and it was like this throughout the show. I checked my other recordings to make sure the DVR wasn't fritzing, and my eps of Lost look great. Damn it. One more chance, as Sci-Fi is airing the episode again Friday right before the new one comes out. I've set the damnable DVR to snag it again, because we won't be at the house that night probably. Will I get screwed once more? | ||
| Apr. 9th, 2008 @ 05:18 pm For MsMalkav and any others | |||
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| I know you were asking. Jay and Annie had their baby yesterday morning. Julian Vincent, at 8 lbs. 7 oz. I believe. Everyone is happy. | ||
| Apr. 9th, 2008 @ 04:20 pm Tracking Projects | |||
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Current Music: Circle the Fringes - the Gutter Twins
So little time, so many, many projects I'd love to tackle.I have the interest to draw again. Using Illustrator to draw would be a nice skill to pick up. I should try to learn more on that guitar I purchased last year. Two writing projects are out there for Sinister Games, calling me. And now I'm interested in trying my hand at a Play by Post game. Foolish, I know. These things are almost certainly doomed to failure and headache. Even I have dropped the ball when trying to play a said game. It was good, but I lacked the follow-through to maintain posts at a certain rate. But I see cools games on LJ, or Paizo, or EN World and I'm like 'You could do that. You're a good GM, and if anything could improve, it's taking time to improve your descriptions.' Foolish. | ||
| Apr. 5th, 2008 @ 12:16 am Skybus down | |||
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Current Music: Fountain and Fairfax - the Afghan Whigs
*grumble* Turns out Skybus folded, cancelling all flights after today (Friday). They've filed bankruptcy, and advised all scheduled passengers to contact their credit card companies for refunds. Which includes me, Dick, Hendrix, Enfy, Kaelan, and Ravelin. All of us had tickets (cheap tickets, of course) to go to Columbus at the beginning of May. I was sort've questioning the vacation anyhow, as I'm not playing WoW as much, and this would be a LAN. But I had a blast last time, and they're good people, so I stayed with the schedule. With this development, I guess not. I still need to take some vacation time, though. This week of Hell and next week's promises are a sure reminder of the joys of time away from office. | ||
| Apr. 4th, 2008 @ 10:47 pm Addictions | |||
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Current Music: Sorrow - Sevendust
Damn it. Took a nap after work on that evil, evil couch of mine. Bleary-eyed, I rose and drove to fetch sushi for the wife and I. As we ate, we started watching 'The Fountain', the movie with Rachael Weiss and Hugh Jackman. Didn't make it too far, as sadness was not on our general menu. So at 10:20, I rose to return to my computer and realized...We just missed the season premiere of Battlestar Galactica. And I have DVR, so I could have easily set the box up to record it for a case just like this. But no, that would have required forethought. Off to the computer! Can't download BSG illegally through torrent - that would be bad. iTunes no longer carries them, but Amazon Unboxed does. The episode is listed, but you can't download it yet, presumably because it's airing right now and west coast hasn't seen it, etc. It's only 2 dollars. But I don't know the format, and I need to get it to .avi to play on my TV player. Decisions, decisions. Then my wife, in her beautiful wisdom says, "Why don't you check the schedule? They might replay it." Sure enough, it's coming back on at midnight. DVR set to record. Problem solved. In other news, I am thoroughly addicted to Sundried Tomato & Basil flavoured Wheat Thins. Please give me a few months before staging an intervention, or I may stab you. | ||
| Mar. 31st, 2008 @ 12:40 am Warning: Info Overload | |||
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Current Music: Adios - KMFDM
It's one of those times when I feel like I should jot down some of the things that are going on. Just so I can look back upon it later and remember, oh yeah. Looking back to my website at the rant I called the Year of Fire, perhaps this too will be nice to read in ten years. - I've been busy as hell with training for and gravitating toward the new position with work. It's a lot of responsibility at a crucial time, and it feels very rewarding. Rewarding in a creative way, where I get to do the things I initially set out to do at this company. Add to that I'm officially thrown into the fire, as the man who has been mentoring me is off to Vietnam for two weeks. I'm the interim replacement. Scary stuff. - My remaining Grandmother is in a bad way with cancer. She's just been hospitalized, and surgery (while not recommended by the oncologist) may be necessary. It's not been a year since I lost my paternal grandmother. This sucks. - Gaming goes great. I run my weekly Pathfinder games with the projector setup and it's a blast. A terrific, tight-knit group makes it such a great experience. I don't really get to play these days, as my normal GM is anxiously awaiting the birth of his son. No telling what's gonna happen to the group once that hurdle is leapt, as there are some changes that need to be made to that group. Changes for the better, I hope. - More gaming, D&D 4th edition is looming around the proverbial corner. And me, I'm jumping without a parachute and planning to run two sessions of the game using rules cobbled together from message boards and limited con play. It won't be like my normal games, but I intend to make it a lot of fun. I've opened the house to friends that I usually don't game with, allowing me to flex my muscles and also promote this promising new system. - I'm trying to get back into the gaming community a bit more. The Pathfinder Society deal has me intrigued, and if I can venture out from my cozy gaming domicile, I think I'll try to give to the community again in the form of gaming. At least until they remind me of some of the horrors I've seen at conventions. I've even signed up for the local Game Day for a change, instead of being that guy who was at the first two and never returned. Yay me. - Otherwise, there are some frightening financial concerns out there. Our next door neighbors moved recently and the landlord sacked them with a bill for $9k in repairs. Which is a load of crap. The place was not destroyed. Sure there are some things of a wear and tear nature to be redone, but this is an obvious grab for cash. Makes me fear the day our lease runs out next year. A few other things are looming, but they can remain private fears in my mind. =) Oh well, I guess I'll curtail it there and save what's left of your Friends list. | ||
| Mar. 25th, 2008 @ 01:26 pm New Userpic | |||
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Current Music: Dead Souls - NIN
Thanks to my darling wife, I now have an icon that brings everything full circle for me. If you've never known why I chose the ruiner/ruined theme in the first place, this pic is a good indicator. | ||
| Mar. 19th, 2008 @ 07:50 pm What the Frak? | |||
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Current Music: The Sound of Truth - As I Lay Dying
Okay, this was hilarious. If you've watched Battlestar Galactica (the recent series), Sci-Fi came up with an eight-minute promo (called What the Frak is Going On?) that catches you up on what's happened in three full seasons. Yes, it's brief, but it is quite awesome. Plus, even if you've seen it, the big Sopranos-style cast picture is great. It's my new background.http://www.scifi.com/battlestar/index.p | ||
| Feb. 28th, 2008 @ 11:37 am Backpack! | |||
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Current Music: Bodysnatchers - Radiohead
After 10 years of abuse, my old JanSport finally has to go. It's served me well, being my second JanSport (the first being purchased in college). So naturally I'm looking at that company again. I have the 17" widescreen laptop now that I want to transport, so I've been perusing their laptop bags. My current candidate is this:http://www.jansport.com/js_product_deta And I just remembered that the Camex trade show is this weekend. I have a couple of coworkers that will be there, and JanSport is reknowned for throwing great parties at those shows. Gonna talk to a few people and see if they might can score a coupon or demo bag for little old me. | ||
| Feb. 27th, 2008 @ 11:50 am Good Times | |||
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Current Music: The Perfect Drug - NIN
You won't often see me say this, but life seems pretty good right now. Not that my life is usually bad (far from it!), but I don't chronicle it. Hell, I rarely write anything about what's going on with 'the ruiner'. But back in the day when I first started ruined.net, it was centered around my Rants where I angrily talked about perceived wrongs. Then thanks to some awesome people in my life, I started to get happy, and the ranting ceased.But back to topic: I'm really, really enjoying my job right now. After toiling away for years as a support monkey, I've finally transitioned more into coding and web development. It's been tough to do in this company, but with the new boss I got a year ago I've been able to finally pursue my true goals. You would be amazed at how adding just a little creativity to my job has improved my mood within the workplace. I really look forward to my various projects, and it's shocking to say that. I mean, I know people generally aren't happy with their careers. And in the scheme of things, I don't really care about the college bookstore industry other than the money it filters my way. But I've found that creative niche that I need. Something that should at least keep me enthused for another seven years. This post is primarily work-related, but let me say that the other factors in my life keep me stress-free. My wife is the most wonderful person. I know people comment on how we seem like an awesome couple, and they're right. She's helped me improve so much as a person... And my friends are awesome people. We have some great games going on these days, plus genuine friendship and support structures. Ok. Enough with the positive. I need to go listen to some NIN or something. | ||
| Feb. 10th, 2008 @ 01:20 am Kindle vs. Gadget-Whore | |||
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Current Music: King of Pain - Mudvayne
I have never really stopped and thought of myself as a gadget-whore before. I mean, truthfully, I don't have the cash for that kind of endeavor. I didn't go crazy over the iPhone. I still watch television on my charming 27" that I originally bought for my Playstation years ago. But sometimes, I really do want that new piece of tech that I read about.Like the Amazon Kindle. It sounded vaguely appealing when it was initially announced. I love books, and unlike some, I'm not chained to the idea of paper in hands. If they've gone far to get a readable screen that doesn't cause the eyestrain that text on PC screens typically has, I'm interested. And being able to add a new book when you want it sounds dangerously appealing. The trick for me is separating the cool-factor from how much I'll actually use it. Some devices do work for me. The video iPod has been great for catching me up on my television shows and as the occasional mp3 player. And the laptop does allow me to write where I want and will be great for taking a WoW-capable machine to LAN parties. But other devices...? The palm pilot saw all of two days of moderate usage before I set it aside. The stylus and tablet didn't quite turn me into the webartist I thought it would. So there is widsom behind the trepidation. I think the best plan is to wait it out some. Let the technology mature, let first-time users find all of the kinks. And maybe if I'm lucky, there'll be a price drop at some point down the road, in both the device and the media. | ||
| Jan. 25th, 2008 @ 10:51 am Mooney's Law | |||
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Current Music: Lie Lie Lie - Serj Tanakian
Mooney's Law, as it pertains to books.1. When searching for a particular book at a select time, that book shall be impossible to find. Corollary A. When searching for the book which cannot be found, there is a strong likelihood of finding another missing book, which may have been subject to a previous case of Mooney's Law. Corollary B. When all hope is lost and a replacement copy of the missing book is purchased, the original book can now be found. | ||
| Jan. 11th, 2008 @ 11:28 am Projector continued | |||
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Current Music: The Devil's Rejects - Rob Zombie
The projector is in place and has been used to good advantage over the past two weeks. I have it set to reflect onto my table where I've set a grid map. The page below shows it in action.Projector Page I've also started work on Phase 2. Last night I hooked up the Wiimote so that the system detects it and uses it as a Bluetooth cursor. It sees the IR penlight that I have, so everything is functional. Now it's just a matter of good positioning for the Wiimote and a bit of work with the pen to make it more comfortable to use, and voila! Whiteboard gaming table! | ||
| Dec. 29th, 2007 @ 11:03 pm Preparations in Hand | |||
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Current Music: Electric Version - The New Pornographers
New dining room table? Check.Digital projector? Check. (InFocus IN26 ) Wii remote? Check. What the hell am I trying to accomplish, you may ask? Well, I'm working on a new tabletop gaming environment for the friends and I. The table was a good deal, but something the wife and I desperately needed. The projector? Look here. The Wiimote? Even better, look here. My inner geek must be free! (and seriously, if you look at nothing else, the video for the Wiimote and Johnny Lee's other projects are mind-boggling.) | ||
| Dec. 4th, 2007 @ 04:25 pm Character Concept Trends | |||
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Current Music: Maps - stupid Rock Band song
I'm quickly creating a new character for D&D. (note to those kind enough to post in my last vague post - I stopped running my D&D game thanks to one dramatic individual. Yay.) So, I'm thinking of some of my previous concepts to look for trends, maybe directions I haven't gone. Serrek - young Wizard, manipulative. Prone to delving in things he shouldn't. Eisen - stalwart priest. Gravelly voice. [Scorpion Shugenja] - backstabbing caster, weakness for opium. [Heroic Speedster] - Easygoing, stoner. Janna - unflinching elven bodyguard. So much honor, it hurts. [Winter elf Dervish] - direct to the point when needed. Very quiet otherwise. Madelaine - aggressive, thrill-seeking bruiser. Jacob Barlowe - foul-mouthed, intimidating. A bit paranoid. Simon Kincaid - sleaze central. Your best friend as he leads you to temptation. Nothingface - conniving outsider. Loves to intimidate and put others on edge. | ||