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Saturday, February 4th, 2006
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4:06 pm
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I have a new roommate :) He brought a big tv and has a hockey stick for kicking ass :)
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| Saturday, January 21st, 2006
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1:17 pm - My poor neglected livejournal
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My deepest apologies loyal readers.... mostly directed at Chris, probably my only reader :) Let's see what has happened since my latest entry.
Most importantly, I am so happy right now. I have a wonderful man, my dog, a great job, my guitar. After one year of nothing but total chaos and crappiness, I am finally feeling right again. I am head over heels and looking forward to another year in the shish next year! You may think I'm foolish but I have everything I want and need for happiness here. Feeling complete is a fabulous thing, something I never want to lose again. Maybe 2006 will be the year of wonderfulness.
One very bad thing has happened though, my apartment was broken into and destroyed over the Christmas break while I was home in NL. They trashed my place. The feeling of being violated is the worst of it and I had a lot of anxiety about being alone or being in my house for a few weeks. They touched everything I owned, looked at my pictures, mauled every piece of underwear I owned (they are all in the garbage now) and even opened letters I had ready to mail to people. They ate my pizzas and threw the dirty plates at the wall. When they decided it was time to hit the apartment next door, they used my coffee table to put a hole in the wall big enough to get into the next apartment. I spent a week living with Devon (bonus!) while we tried to make my house livable, then I got sent out of the community for a week to get some councelling and relax. It really helped calm my nerves and get the support I needed. When I came back here Devon had put my couches, tv, etc all back in place to make the place seem more like home, and it made a world of difference. I wasn't coming back to my trashed house, it was home sweet home again. Now I'm in a better state of mind and everything is getting back to normal. Life is good. I knew eventually everything would fall into place.
current mood:  optimistic
current music: Trip - Hedley
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| Friday, December 2nd, 2005
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10:35 am - Happy happy joy joy!
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THe weekend is drawing near! As the Christmas season is upon us, it is time to decorate the tree. A semi formal decorating party will take place at my place tomorrow night which means I get to look nice for once. No sweats. FUN!
Everything is happy, well I am for now. Things are finally looking up as the year comes to a close... better things in 2006? Hopefully so. I am always smiling at least a little these days. I am excited about things again. Maybe the Shish isn't all that bad :)
current mood: cheerful
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| Sunday, November 27th, 2005
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1:10 am
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| Thursday, November 24th, 2005
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6:01 pm
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I just made my first pot of soup. Chicken and wild rice. I am a domestic diva. Well not really... it's just soup. I do want to be Martha or that Racheal Ray chick I've been hearing so much about lately.
27 days until temporary Christmas sanity! YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!
No evaluation tomorrow! YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!
Bday party for Shane tomorrow night! YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!
I think I will make some birthday present brownies, I'm feeling all chef-like.
current mood: full
current music: Good People - Jack Johnson
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| Saturday, November 12th, 2005
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1:36 am
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I am going to lose my mind!
I aM going crazy.
I need to move somewhere big and exciting.
Blah.
current mood:  aggravated
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| Monday, November 7th, 2005
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12:29 am - Get me out..
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We've only been here two months but already everything is messed! Oh my. It isn't fun to socialize or go to work anymore. You know that the minute you turn around everyone is talking about you. Nothing bad is directly affecting my life, but some friends are having a really hard time with stuff and that in turn is hard on me as well. I just don't like the negative energy, it's like you are always on your toes. You have to second guess the things you say to about 95% of the people here. The freedom and fun of last year is gone, 2005 just continues to suck. So I've decided to become a hermit. Just me and the dog. I can deal with that though, she's good company and likes to listen to me play guitar.
I have a laptop so that's exciting, and I also have wireless highspeed which totally kicks. This will contribute further to my hermitness as I love wasting so many hours on my comp. It was an investment in my sanity and it's helping already.
Back to school I go.
current mood:  blah
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| Sunday, August 14th, 2005
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4:43 am - Ms Brightside
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Now I'm falling asleep
And she's calling a cab
While he's having a smoke
And she's taking a drag
Now they're going to bed
And my stomach is sick
And it's all in my head
But she's touching his-chest
Now, he takes off her dress
Now, letting me go
And I just can't look its killing me
And taking control
Jealousy, turning saints into the sea
Swimming through sick lullabies
Choking on your alibis
But it's just the price I pay
Destiny is calling me
Open up my eager eyes
'Cause I'm Mr Brightside
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| Saturday, August 13th, 2005
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2:06 pm - We're gonna be big stars....
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What an action-packed week. Tuesday, Deanne and Chris came to the Mdot and we had a fire in the back yard. There was a crowd gathered for the event: Jay, Steve W, Sheldon and all that crew, "the band", mom and dad and their friends. We played a bunch of tunes for everyone, including several originals. That was the first time I have played out here, well except at the Keg, and we got loads of compliments. Steve is a kick ass rock star as well!
Wednesday, Chris, D and I went to Newtown, D's hometown. Her father brought us by boat to Pincher's island, a small island close to Newtown, where they have a cabin. We were all by ourselves on this island with no animals, trees, nothing but berries and rocks and the ocean. We were jamming around the fire when we heard the creepiest noise, like someone sucking in air. First I just thought I was going crazy but then Chris and D heard it. It got louder and was moving around to different places. I was freaked out like crazy so we all went inside her cabin and partied. It turned out to be a great night in the end!
Thursday we stayed in Newtown and just hung out with Sadie's !!!ADORABLE!!! puppies. I want one but they are goign to be huge dogs, but they are so beautiful. They aren't so much like Sadie but more Elmo, he must be the daddy.
Yesterday Chris and I came back to Mtown and went to West Side with James. That was fun. It was karaoke goodness. First me and Jay sang Killing Me Softly together and it was good! Then I sang Mr. Jones and rocked the place. Everyone danced to me! And then I got loads of applause, I was so embarrassed cuz I don't know how to deal with all the positive attention. It was fun though, a grand time was had by all.
Now here I am trying to recover from my excellent party week. I don't think it's over yet... Ray is home and wants to go out again tonight.... uggggggggg!!!! The things ya gotta do right?
current mood: happy
current music: So Alive - Ryan Adams
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| Tuesday, August 9th, 2005
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12:17 pm
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Chris and Deanne will be here in a few hours! Band reunion! Can't wait to see them!
current mood:  giddy
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1:24 am - Blah
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Why is it then when you are having a super time, something really crappy happens? It must be a balancing act.
Suspicion - Ryan Adams
Ain't it like the sun to never shine
And leave you in the dark
Ain't it like the ones we left behind
Or were they moving on
Getting used to all alone
Just pretending you was here
Voices tearing through the halls
Get used to it kid
Suspicion, shame on the things we did
Suspicion, stealing and lying to prove
Suspicion, it's cold and dark as a well
But it's just suspicion
Ain't it like the gals who want to kiss
To be a friend to you
Ain't it like the string of consequence
To put the faith in you
All I want to do is buy some time
For the sake of memory
All I want to do is to try
To hold on to these things
Suspicion, haunting the streets of time
Suspicion, boys they really got us this time
Suspicion, it's cold and dark as a well
Suspicion
For all the things we need
We only want the ones
We couldn't seem to keep
We hurt the ones we love
We hurt the ones we love
We hurt the ones we love
Get used to it kid
Suspicion, haunting the streets of time
Suspicion, boy they really got us this time
Suspicion, shame on the things we did
Suspicion, get used to kid
current mood:  disappointed
current music: Suspicion - Ryan Adams
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| Thursday, July 21st, 2005
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3:00 am - Wheeeeee!
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Only one week to DAVE MATTHEWS! EEEEEEEE! Poor Daryl don't know what he's getting himself into with this one. I am going to LoSe mY MiND! Gotta get all of my stuff together cuz I'm going to town on Friday to party with Mel, cuz I haven't partied enough in the last few weeks. It's going to be good times, good relaxing times! Chris is going to hang out with me on Friday, seems like I haven't seen him in FOREVER and it's only been a month. Cass, Bixby and Jackie will be around too. Shish reunion!
Tonight at Walmart I bought two pairs of shoes, a cardigan, a pink shirt and a clothes drying rack for $71. Walmart kicks ass.
So friggin hot and tired. Jen - Out!
current mood: hot
current music: Pure Shores - All Saints
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| Friday, July 15th, 2005
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3:02 am - Salmon Fest!
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Mere hours away from Salmon Festival goodness.There are three very important days per year to me: Christmas, my birthday and Salmon Fest. I love it so much. No matter what the circumstances and weather, a good time is always had by all. So hopefully this year will run the same *knocking on wood right now*. It's going to be a different year in many ways, but I am hoping that everything goes swimmingly. I bought a new outfit as I always do, a cute flowy skirt and a tank top. Love x 10 to the Salmon Fest!
current mood: happy
current music: I'm Too Sexy - Right Said Fred
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| Tuesday, July 12th, 2005
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4:27 am - Wow it's late!
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Tonight I resisted the temptation to party and instead watched two movies: Little Black Book and Napolean Dynomite. Both were good in their own ways. The summer continues, I am surviving. Going to Salmon Fest, so that is good times. Sometihng to look forward to and to keep my chin up. Sleepy time.
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| Tuesday, July 5th, 2005
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12:55 am
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I had a lovely, wonderful day today. I forgot about all of my worries and problems and relaxed on teh beach and swam, then my fam had the best bbq and beer! It was just what I needed. I hope more days like this are to follow.
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| Saturday, July 2nd, 2005
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9:02 pm
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Still hating life. I've been on a week-long bender so that's not a good sign. I wish I had a time machine and I could go back to January before all this shit started, and I would be happy again.
current mood: depressed
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| Thursday, June 30th, 2005
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2:52 am
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I hate, hate, HATE my life.
I hurt someone who I care for so deeply.
I am an absolute mess who can't come to terms with her own choices and consequences.
I bottle up all of my feelings for months and let it out at once, expecting people to understand how fucked up I really am.
I will never be good enough.
I despise 2005.
current mood: depressed
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| Wednesday, June 29th, 2005
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9:14 am - I am a rockstar!
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So last night I was rather confused and in need of some beer therapy. I went to the Keg with Gen and Kris and met all the keg crew. Then someone started playing guitar and I wanted to hear Wonderwall. He said he couldn't play it so of course, having a few beer in, I gathered my nerve to play the guitar and sing it myself. Well, about 10 songs later I was still going, people buying me drinks and referring to me as "guitar girl" or "marystown idol". The highlight of the Keg night was everyone in the bar singing Round Here to my guitar. It was a fabulous confidence booster since that's the first time i have played for anyone without Chris and Deanne... and I still got loads of compliments! People are so generous when intoxicated.
current mood: thirsty
current music: the pounding hangover drums in my head
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| Thursday, June 16th, 2005
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3:48 pm
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I was so close to leaving this place with no major blow ups, no big arguments in which I was personally involved. Then with 8 days left until my big escape, my whole world up here starts to fall apart. Apparently D asked Paula to convince Mel to move in with Mike and Jess so she could move in with me. This came from nowhere, I had no idea she had done so, and I didn't ask her to do this. So now Mel wants to quit and she is super depressed and I think she thinks that I had something to do with it even though I told her I didn't. I am so stuck in the middle even though I didn't do anything really.
So here I am, mind like a whirlwind, not knowing how to approach any of the situations I am currently in. I just want to rewind about 4 months and wait out the school year in some dark corner. Then I wouldn't have this horrible feeling hanging over my head like I've done something terribly wrong. Why is it human nature to make things as complicated as possible?
current mood: crappy
current music: Mary Jane - Alanis Morrisette
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| Monday, June 13th, 2005
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6:40 pm
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Only 11 more days and I'm out! I am quite excited but will miss some people here immensely (others I will happily forget about for a long time). Being so isolated makes you super close with your friends... I'm going to miss Chris and Deanne the most (the band!). But I shall return to this place, unfortunately.
Oh yes, I had the most crazy night this weekend. I love craziness to the extreme.
current mood: okay
current music: Rosalie Come and Go - Ryan Adams
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