I hope it's clear that I was really, really trying not to be weird about the way things were. All the time, I was telling myself, just enjoy it for what it is, don't be weird, don't get all screwed up over something it isn't. The usual mantra when you're with someone who you're not really with and desperately want to be.
Have you noticed how telling yourself all that shit never actually helps?
Crooked Little Vein

Love life, how so complicated? I tried putting the last few months into words the other day and by the time I got tired from writing that shit my word count was 2300. And there's more. And even more happened between then and now. I define tl;dr. But it's basically that passage up there.

So I just passively watch stuff, cry my eyes out on Who season finale episodes, enjoy summer TV shows much more than the shows during the rest of the year (Weeds! Middleman!), I read comics every week and generally am less and less fannish about everything. Which depresses the fuck out of me, but so many things do the same, easily, these days. *shrug* But I'm happy in general. At least I think I am. Real life has its moments.

veraxia said I should update more often, and all I have to say is:

♥ Happy Birthday! ♥

:*

I just watched a pre-aired pilot of True Blood, an HBO series based on Charlaine Harris' Southern Vampire Mysteries and I can't say if it's good or not because pilots tend to be awkward by definition, but omfg did it suit me right. I have such a kink for southern settings, and I have *such* a hard on for Tara, and Anna Paquin made a pretty cool and accurate Sookie. Kinda awkward, but I think that'll pass in time. My only issue with it, and I knew I would have this issue, was the cacophony of voices. That really grates on me, I hate it when people argue loudly over each other, I hate it when mind readers pick up everyone around them, I hatehatehate it. If I had mind reading powers I'd probably go insane so quick. I hated that aspect of the last Who ep, too.

But all in all, I'm so happy this show doesn't appear to suck. And I'm already in love with a character. And I wouldn't recommend downloading the pre-air since it has stuff cut, but if you can't wait feel free to watch and then share the love if there is any. ♥

And I got back from the doc today and everything is fine, I've just grown freaky, but I'm not sick and I'll take my bad genes over being actually sick any day. :)

Lookit my awesome new default icon! I may never use another icon again. (I have said this too many time to actually believe it.)

I want to go to a hair salon and ask them if I can borrow their scissors and stuff for a fee and then go wild with the cutting. It would probably horrify them.

The reason why I'm having crazy ideas is because I'm trying to distract myself. ( I have an appointment with the lady parts doctor next week )

I've been downloading and watching Ben 10 Alien Force with my nephew because our Cartoon Network isn't showing them, and it makes me feel like a dirty old woman because I can't stop watching it in a fannish way omfg.

(My journaling sentence structure needs so much work. I write something and add a point and then explain the reason. I, and, because.)

What I don't get is how my life manages to be such a roller coaster when all I do is sit at home, read manga and fuck around on the internet. Still, every time I start to sum up what's going on in my life it sounds like I'm having wonderful adventures. Which I'm not writing down right now because thinking about it confuses me and I don't think I could untangle it in text form. But! Adventures! Broken Hearts! Drama! It's all there.

Ugh. I'm on my period, I have this really disgusting flu, and I managed to lose a boyfriend. Literally, lost him. He's not in his usual place. If my head didn't hurt so much and if I had anything to eat in days that I didn't vomit out I'd probably be devastated.

I've got Japanese tonight, which I started very recently. It's pretty awesome. I'm honestly and happily looking forward to lessons, and I love doing the homework, and I pretty much suck at it right now but I'll relax and get better. ♥

Of course, while I was sick over the weekend I caught up on all my shows (when I should have been studying Japanese but my brain wasn't working!) except BSG. And I love them all but I have a hard time feeling fannish about anything lately. Even the Ten and Donna Show. What's up with that? I did listen to Howl a lot and bandom love might, might be coming back. Especially if anyone links me to new photoshoots and fun stuff. Where new = anything in the last couple of months. Ahem. I'm just sayin'.

I haven't read Wednesday's comics yet but I heard they were pretty awesome, especially on the Marvel side and a little bit on the Blue Beetle side. But last Wednesday there was SPOILER and then SPOILER. So it's okay if DC doesn't do awesome every week, (Speaking of Blue Beetle, how awesome was the Spanish issue? How awesome it is that a Spanish issue was published? I still can't get over that.)

And this month I read the first four Dark Tower books! The only regret is not having read them YEARS ago, becuase SO MUCH LOVE OMG. I'm getting the rest this week and reading them asap. Because I can't make myself read the comic without having read the books first. And, and, and, I read Crooked Little Vein by Warren Ellis! But I'm half ashamed to be such a little die hard fan so I don't really want to talk about it.

Anyway. Don't be weirded out if you suddenly receive comments on stuff you posted months ago. *♥s you all*