Just wanted to put a reminder here for those folks who are new to my journal (you might have seen the post my friend Raymond put in the teaching community) that I am actually in transition to another blog.

You can get an lj feed here: http://syndicated.livejournal.com/redkudufeed/

Or, you can go to http://redkudu.typepad.com/redkudu/ and get the main page, or a feed through FeedBurner.

You'll probably see that I am very school oriented -- this blog is where I discuss all elements of teaching, share ideas, articles, etc. Very little personal trivia. I will be more likely to answer comments over there, as I'm trying to wean myself somewhat from lj, so please, please, feel welcome at my new home and comment on anything you like. I'll be posting a cyberspace tour and "role call" over there tonight -- hope you'll all come and say hello.

What I did today:

-Joined We The Teachers after circling like an interested buzzard around it for a few days. It looks promising. I like the layout, the opportunity to share lesson plans. It's the most user-friendly teacher bb I've found yet, very community-oriented, or trying to be. I even posted 2 messages, a lesson plan and formed a group. I have one member in my group! That's more social interaction than I've had in a week. Go! Join! Rate my lesson plan! I'm redkudu over there too.

-Painted 3 pieces of patio furniture and fussed over patio plants, enjoyed the tree outside my porch, admired that patio plants are still alive, congratulated self on that.

-Read nothing but an article in the Texas Monthly.

-I'm stalling starting my second 6 weeks' lesson plans, is what it is. Waxing the cat and all that. I really want to get back into my classroom, but as of Monday the carpet still hadn't been cleaned, so I can't start moving things around yet. I must redecorate! I can only be inspired if I've redecorated!

These are the answers to the quiz questions from my last post. They are according to the author of the book mentioned.

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Thanks to everyone who posted comments on my last entry. I enjoyed the discussion about attire in the classroom. There is, in my mind, a definite difference between professional attire for different employment. And even within jobs, a set of acceptably "professional" attire for different levels of involvement. Someone mentioned the difference between what admin wears and what teachers wear, and I agree.

I myself just couldn't function at my current level of movement in a classroom if I were required to wear dress shoes, panty hose (ack!) or restrictive skirts/shirts/blazers of any sort. It does make me wonder, however, if the difference in how teachers sometimes *must* dress in order to be able to function comfortably has an effect on the presumption of our status as "professionals" to education outsiders. Thoughts?

A while back, in the comments for another post, someone asked me to talk about familiarity, and its role in teaching. These are my beginning thoughts on the topic.
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From a teaching lj:

I was offered, last year, a permanent position in a private waldorf school. I went in to observe for the third time, and was disenchanted with their teaching practices when I saw a pentgram being used as math device. I grew up very christian, so naturally I declined the position. Weird huh?

I especially love that she finds it weird that a pentagram would be used in a math classroom.

I didn't post that for scorn, nor am I linking to it. I posted it to tell a story of my own. And, the saving grace of it all, is that commenters took her to task for it, and she handled it very gracefully, IMO, revealing that she was learning things she hadn't known, and considering them. So, the frightening potential that this person might get into a public school classroom aside, there may be a silver lining for this one. (Although I did have to refrain from offering my own commentary, along the lines of "I hope you stay well out of public school and find a teaching position where your comfort level will be more at home with your naivity." Though honestly, I don't think any private school would find her less ridiculous. But she is new. I suppose some allowances should be made for that.)

Gotta story for you:

In my second year of teaching middle school, I used the actual movie script of the movie "Willow" to teach the kids about imagery and description. The script itself has a lot of imagery in the beginning, describing the castle in the opening scene, and I had the kids read it and see whether they recognized the movie. Plus, I know it's a movie kids love, I could show it in the middle-school classroom, and then they did writing activities to connect to it -- Describe your home "castle," and etc. It went over very well. We even used it to discuss dialogue, characterization, the heroic cycle, etc.

The promise in the lesson was that they would get to watch the movie afterward. However, the movie had to be split into two days, and on the second day I got sick. No worries -- they had the majority of the movie to watch, and it would be a nice, calm day for any sub.

When I got back to class, the kids complained they hadn't gotten to watch the movie. I found out that the sub had told them she didn't approve of the "evil sorcery" and "witchcraft" in the movie, and had pulled it out, and put in "Inspector Gadget."

Okay, so maybe she thought the movie was just for fun. It wasn't. They had a worksheet to complete on the movie while watching, which tied into their unit, which tied into the papers they were writing. She set me back a day.

So, that day, while I let them watch the movie, the sub came by to explain herself. We stepped out into the hallway, and she told me what she'd done, and that she'd done it because she couldn't, due to her beliefs, allow herself to be the vehicle through which the students were subjected to such un-Christian thoughts and images. She was very ernest in citing specific portions of the movie, how and why they were un-Christian, and how she doubted my motives and ethics as a teacher that I would show them such a thing. (Since I've rarely ever talked to a sub after having them sub my class, I suspect she made a special trip just to chastise me.)

While she was talking, I turned around and locked the door to my room, so it couldn't be opened from the outside. When she finished I stepped inside the door, told her she had no right to make value judgements about me or my teaching, that we worked in a public school, and she had no right modifying a lesson of mine based on her religious convictions. Then I shut the door in her face. She did rattle the doorknob once or twice, but I ignored her and turned up the volume on the TV.

Later, I told the principal, and every teacher on my team. I didn't see her around the school much after that.

School Stuff

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I'm still alive. I'm recovering from that week-after (does anyone else get this?) in which it just seems like I can't quite function well. Listless, I think, would be the right word. My body gets me up at 5:30 as usual, and then my brain scolds it and says, "So what are we going to do for the rest of the day?"

I take stock, mentally, of all the things I promised myself I'd remember near the end of the year about how I want to change things next year. I groan over having to start over, because I have a thousand great new ideas and I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO FIRST!

I worked on my teacher's website. I read a portion of a report on what companies do to make websites interesting to teens (opens in new window), and took note of the techniques of making certain it's clean, easily usable, and has things for them to do while they're there. I'm not anticipating this will be a favorite site for them, but I am hoping to make it attractive enough to where they will remember it and visit it for worksheets, calendars, etc. This cuts down on a lot of effort for me with lost worksheets, etc. Each kid gets 1 of anything I hand out, even if absent. If they lose it, they have to get it off the website. (They can go to our library if they don't have a computer.) I found out near the end of the year that I actually had more kids than I expected using it for this. Now, I'd like them to use it as a resource for homework, writing papers, etc. I'm scheduling a day with the laptops near the beginning where they will actually tour the site, and take a quiz on it. That way they're familiar with it. It's at Exquisite Fish, if anyone's interested, or doing something similar and wants to compare notes (and if you do have a teacher page, I'd love to compare notes on your thoughts about whether they help, whether they're used, etc). I think the home page, and the two class pages (English III and IV) are probably the most interesting right now. (It might be a little buggy - this is just the "rough draft".)

Other than that, I'm starting on lesson plans for Beowulf. Anyone on my list have any resolutions for next year they want to share? Mine, obviously, is to bring more technology into the classroom, or at least to enhance my courses with technology. I'm going to be trying out an online quiz generator this year too, for minor grades, and some webquests. How about you?

Last two weeks. Always crazy.

Student is telling us about his plans for the summer, including getting an apartment of his own. He says, "I just have to jew them down to my price range."

Told him that was offensive hate speech. He said not really, because he didn't mean it bad. Explained why it was, in no uncertain terms. Student kept his mouth shut the rest of the period.

Other student in different period is talking about pubic hairs on headphones and penises. Granted, he thought he was only talking to his group. I warned him I could hear him. He replies, "Yeah, but you know you like it, woman." Shut him down right then and there with caustic words about language, being called "woman" by student, etc. He kept quiet the rest of the period.

Girl, whose perfume I admired, shared with me the perfume bottle at the encouragement of friends. (It was a roll-on type of perfume, which I said reminded me of cotton-candy.) Name of perfume was "Pussy Twang." Told her to put it away.

Aaaand...we're in the home stretch.

The fact that I am exhausted at this point becomes great comic fodder for the kids. They know I'm exhausted because I tell them. And I tell them that because I want to make sure they understand that if I'm slightly less patient than usual, that's why. They generally rally to be very good at this point, the little cherubs, and often try to make me laugh. I had one kid, whom I've had trouble with all year, even mention quite sympathetically that I looked exhausted.

Today I was talking with a really fun kid of mine -- kind of a geeky kid, but years ahead in maturity and wit, the kind of kid who gets a level of humor slightly above the rest of the kids, which means he's often alienated by his peers. He and I have riffed off one another all year. I made some goof in something I said, then said, "Or, I might just be going insane."

He nodded sagely. "It's probably schizophrenia. It happens sometimes."

I said, "My other personalities and I resent that."*

He says, deadpan, "You realize, of course, that I'm not actually here. Never have been, all year."

And that pretty much did me in and he and I were rolling laughing for about 5 minutes.

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*Yes, I know multiple personalities are different from schizophrenia, but did I mention I'm exhausted?

I left my class in the increasingly capable hands of my student teacher during last period to run an errand in the next wing. The wings are separated by an outdoor pass-through, and I'm on the second floor, so I have to cross a small balcony. The balcony is open to the back parking lot, where the students park, and it is just after lunch time, so kids are coming back on campus.

As I breeze through the first door, an object sails past my face, just narrowly missing my head, and hits the concrete behind me in a gorgeous splugh. I'm moving quickly, so it doesn't at first register that something almost hit me, until another object comes sailing up over the balcony, almost hits me head on, and splatters against the opposite balcony wall. There are giggles from below.

I immediately know what has happened. Kids are lobbing their McDonald's cups up over the balcony, practically full. It's brilliant, messy, and a sublime bit of spring-time prankery. I mean, if they happened to hit a student up there, that'd be good fun! Unfortunately, they almost happened to hit a teacher. I quickly creep down the stairs, listening for which door is opened, and go back into the building. I notice one lone student at the far end of the hall, with a McDonald's cup, moving hastily. Ah ha.

I call to him from down the hall. For a moment he looks as though he's going to bolt, then comes on back to me. He's a freshman. (Shouldn't be off campus for lunch at all.)

I say, "Where are your friends?"

He says, "What friends?"

I don't answer him. I say, "Come with me." We begin to walk back down the hall. I tell him that he will be cleaning up the mess. He says, "What mess?"

He's very good. For a moment, I wonder. Then I come to my senses. I say, "I'm willing to let a lot of things go. I'm willing to overlook a lot of silly stupidity. But you almost hit someone up there. You almost hit me. Now where are your friends? Someone is going to clean up that mess."

(A note about me -- I really am fairly easy-going in regards to silliness and pranks. But when students makes messes that the custodians must clean up, I get steamed. I've been one in other industries. I know what it's like, and I am bothered when students have the attitude that someone will clean up after them.)

He says, "Can't I just clean it up?"

I say, "Sure. And are you willing to accept the referral as well?"

Then he gets squirmy. I say, "Look, I know you don't want to rat out your friends. But since you've still got your cup, I'm going to assume they were the ones who did it. I admire you offering to help, but don't you think everyone involved should have to take resposibility for their part?" I even offer him the coward's way out. I say, "If you don't want them to know you told on them, just show me their classroom and I'll say I followed them."

Brave little trooper he is, he sighs, his shoulders slump, and he says, "No, I'll go with you." Smart too, because his friends will know he ratted them out anyway.

So he leads me to their classroom, and I drag them out. They're doing a wonderful job of miming complete innocence and perplexion, but once out in the hall I simply say, "Gentlemen, one of you needs to go clean up the cups and ice, two of you will come with me to find a custodian and get a mop and bucket. Who will it be?" They sort it out amongst themselves quickly, and are very quiet. We find our custodial head with a bucket and mop, and she comes with us. As we walk, she and I commiserate about what a shame it is that such promising young people would behave so dispicably, within earshot, of course.

Once there, she turns into a drill sergeant. "Hurry up now. Take the mop. Wipe that up. There's applesauce outside C220, and puke in the bathroom that I have to take care of. No, get the corner there. Squeeze the mop out. Wipe again to make sure there aren't any puddles. Not that way. Right and left. Hurry up."

Then I take their names and phone numbers (one of them is the brother of a former student of mine -- I tell him, "I have a lot of respect for your brother." A little shame never hurts.) I tell them I've decided against referrals for the time being. Then I have my quiet say, about how I understand pranks and fun, but this was disgusting behavior, and they came very close to hitting me in the face twice, and I know they hadn't thought about that, much less intended it. They agree, and apologize. However, I tell them I am pleased they all took responsibility, that they cleaned up after themselves, and that I will certainly mention that to their parents when I call. And I do.

They may well have thought they got one over on me, but I did sense some honesty in the apologies. I even ended on a light note, and they smiled, and went off quietly.

Recently, our seniors completed their senior prank, which was to scale the school walls and toilet paper our completely enclosed courtyard. Not many kids go out there -- it isn't set up for traffic, because we have a cave underneath the school that's protected (the school had to build around it). It has some nice trees, and occasionally we have picnics and whatnot there. I asked a counselor if the kids were going to at least be made to clean it up. He said he'd asked the principals about it, and they said "If this is the worst our kids do, then we should count ourselves lucky."

It's not the worst our kids do. We've had a stabbing, a gang fight, lots of graffiti in the back stairwells, massive bullying, and the kids smoke pot in the back car lot and brag about it. Yes, I know, it's far from a lot of schools. It's far from the middle schools I taught at. But because our school motto is "World Class," I think it's a ridiculous attitude to have. I don't think there needs to be punishment. But I think if we know who the kids are that did it (which we do), then we should make them clean it up. So I just couldn't let this one go.

We're watching "What's Eating Gilbert Grape" to go along with "Of Mice and Men."

Student (whose football buddies nicknamed him "Trunk" as in tree trunk) watches for about 15 minutes, then hauls his backpack up onto his desktop, whomp. He sits right next to my desk.

He unzips backpack, and sticks his hand in. I don't know what he's looking for. We're watching a movie. He doesn't need anything from his backpack. He has no needs at all, and no demands. Only sit and watch the movie. He even has one of my pillows. He is comfortable, the lights are dimmed, the movie is playing, and the room is at a moderate temperature. He needs NOTHING!

But he must dig around in his backpack for something, so he does. And he digs, and he digs. And there's an empty plastic bag in the backpack. A minute goes by. He does not find what he's looking for. I clear my throat warningly. He continues to dig. The plastic bag makes loud plastic noises. I shush him. He does not hear me. He continues to dig.

Swssshhh, swssshhh, swssshhh. I have had a long day already, complete with administrative bullshit already. All I want to do is sit and enjoy "Gilbert Grape" with the kids.

Finally I say, "What is it? What do you need? What could possibly be in there?"

I think this will stop him, but no, he continues to dig around, crinkling the plastic. It's like the first time I ever gave my cats a ball with a bell in it and realized what a poor idea that was at around 3 in the morning.

So I say, in my half-serious voice (the one the kids know is a forerunner to the "very quiet voice" which is the one they want to avoid), "Stop that! Do you see the movie on the TV? Are you in high school? There is NOTHING you need in that backpack. All your needs are provided for you!"

The kids get a chuckle, but this one isn't taking me seriously. Still rustling around.

So I use the quiet voice. "Stop. Moving. Now."

And he does. Completely freezes in place with his hand stuck in the bag at an awkward angle, and proceeds to sit that way through the next twenty minutes of the movie. I tried to watch the movie, but I had to keep sneaking glances at him and trying not to laugh.

After class I ask him, "WHAT in the world was all that about? Why didn't you stop when I gave you the warnings?" (He knows which ones I mean.)

He hangs his head and says, "Sorry. I had a plastic bag in there."

I say, "Yes, we all know you had a plastic bag in there."

He says, "Sometimes I just have a lot of energy. And the bag made noise. And I couldn't stop myself."

It really was cute.

By special request, I'm posting a lesson plan.

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I do one of those for every day I'm expected to teach. And that's what we teachers do in our "summers off." :)