My life yea i know i know i havent been here in ages.
But life really sucks.
My moms worried about losing her job and shes leaning on my shoulder and it hard.
I mean we had some really bad times in the past and alot of problems,But when shit hits the fan all is forgotten.
No matter what i have to thank her for giving me life.
Yes my life does suck but i do have some joy in it that i wouldnt give up for the world.
Growing up everytime i fucked up she'd let me know about it without a problem.
As i have gotten older shes more understanding to a point and theres more support then scoulding and yelling.
I dont know if this is just because ive grown up or its a change for the better.
Not everyone i know has parents that can understand them or reach out to do when the need it most so again i have to be grateful.
I feel bad and i wish i could do something to help her.
If she does get fired then fuck it ill go out and get a job.
I know a few places that im sure i could get the jobs and make good money id pay her to babysit.
I owe it to her for all shes done.
::sigh::
Once again the world turns to me lol my shoulders hurt from carrying it already lol.
As for me n tommy its still the same were not bf n gf but we still see each almost everyday and we talk everyday so i dont know its confusing lol.
My hearts in a knot i dont know if im going or coming so ill just sit here and spill my guts to u dear journal.
I love him i do but sometimes people cant communicate and if theres no communication then you have no relationship ive learned this long ago.
Im so much more experianced then him in relationships and it drives me nutts!!
HEs used to women like "AMBER" whos a complete total cracked out slut And if you read this YES YOU ARE :) Anyhow women like "AMBER" create a raw image of women and some men for some reason tend to date these type of women through out life.so when they come Across a female like me they treat us like SHIT because this is the image perceived to them by so many other women.
And shit is it hard trying to break that mold in there head.
So as you see my point im Having a rough time over here someone SAVE ME! lol
but will see the tommy n cristel saga shall continue lol.
Then today im on line and my ex Chris Msgs me.
The last time he Imed me he started asking ?'s like.
do you wanna see me?
Do you miss me?
Um if i did dont you think id be asking you these questions?? lolol hello anyway
I mean he was a good guy and all and he was really sweet and affectionate but the jealousy had to go.
I was 19 and i couldnt go out and play with my friends because i wasnt allowed.
well that lasted for about 4months because i wasnt having it lol.
MY mother cant tell me what to do and she had me im going to let someone tell me LMAOSorry been there done that and aint having that.
ANYHOW lol he msgs me today and started with the
Would it be bad if we hung out?
I consider u a friend.
Do you consider me a friend?
Im pretty sure nothing would happen and if he tryed something hed choke on his nutt sack anyhow lol I dont think tommy would approve being that hes my ex and all and with his questions It Sounds TOO friendly.lol
anyhow i like saying that "ANYHOW" lol
So i havent been to a party in ages and im dying to go.
I just want to dance and relieve some stress.
Music always calms me i guess music does calm the beast lol.
well im gonna go journal my little trusty side kick.
Till we meet again my friend....
Current Mood: 
blahCurrent Music: Incubus - Drive 
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ravenpixi3's journal
bitchy
stressed
aggravated
