oh, everything

today I finally bought "No One Belongs Here More Than You" by Miranda July, which I have wanted since it came out and "Confessions of an Ugly Stepsister" because of the high opinions my Creative Writing class as a whole had of it.  They were buy one get one 50% off at Border's which was crazy because I went in for the Stepsister book and couldn't find it and then saw it on the display near the registers.

the end.

so, last thursday when i got home from school, i found a baby snapping turtle just a foot from my tire!  somehow it had wandered all the way up the road from the stream to our driveway.  daniel and i did a turtle rescue and brought it back to the stream and put it in the water while holding it to get it wet and acclimated and then he tried to let go but it floated and i wasnt sure if that was good so  we put him right on the damp edge o the stream so that he could easily climb in.  it was really cute and it was alive but i think it might have been hurt cos on one side where the shell attaches there was a little bit of goopy stuff with what looked like blood in it, but i think it was okay... i hope so. 

and i finally found boots to replace my favorite ones that got thrown away! these are the closest ive found and im very happy!
and its an outfit pic, too.

wow, i could not correctly format this post.

i bought a new camera tonight at 1145pm cos mine wouldnt upload, it kept giving me an error.  after i bought the new camera dan hooked my old one onto his computer adn without any software was able to upload- wtf!! i was using nikon view and it said there was no cf card reader or whatever.  but i wanted a new camera anyway cos mine had 2 megapixels since i bought it 3 or 4 years ago. the new one is an 8.0 megapixel Polaroid t831
 

I can't figure out how to now take this and do it in the 3rd person limited and make him unsympathetic as the assignment calls for.  I already stated his case and now I'm stuck, so I may have to ditch it and start over again with a different story.  the story is supposed to be "universally known" like little red riding hood anyway, and this isn't but she's a famous writer so i thought, whatever. oh, and the cut cut it out- its based on "Telephone Call" found on classicstories.com

( based on the unseen character's part in Dorothy Parker's  )( based on the unseen male in Dorothy Parker's  )

So, I've decided to break the mold and rather than write a traditional prose reading response paper as my 3rd Women's Lit paper I will write a long poem examing the work, its possible interpretations, specific references, etc (in parts, as I might use paragraphs.)  I'm not sure this is allowed but I want to try to pull it off so brilliantly that it is accepted as a paper. 



BTW everyone, Oct 17th I'm hitting downtown Bangor (oooh impressive) to celebrate my birthday- you should come out!!  We'll coordinate or something if you wanna join.

i might finally get to see one.  im posting again cos im bored. i chain-smoked all my cigs and now i have to roll more. and i broke the seal already. one beer in.  haha i havent said that in yrs.

EDIT  dan didn't know what it means to "break the seal"... why does the grammar look bad in this sentence? i don't want to say "meant" because it still means the same thing... but i feel like im supposed to.  Going back to school is really helping, haha. 

p.s. I got pretttttyyyyy buzzed on 3 beers. i was feelin' it not even one and a half in.

last night i decided that if i gave blood with a high blood alcohol level i would be giving life and drunkeness to someone going through a bad time.

Well, I'm really starting to feel like a poet!!  Two of my poems just got accepted for the winter edition of   94 Creations, a print journal!!  That makes four poems now accepted in real literary journals!!!!!  Ahhh, so happy.  This is my dream- writing.  Even if all that ever happens is that I build up a library of journals with my work inside for which i was paid only a few contributor's copies, I'll be happy.  I believe that that is my dream- to be a published author and I'm there and hope to get farther and farther.  I don't expect money- there is such a small market for poetry.  It's so hard to even get into a print journal.  I'm sure it won't be as beautiful and professional as Epiphany, but it's respectable.  It's no e-zine, it's not some stapled thing put together by my high school!  Well, I really don't know what it looks like, but I will in December!

My economics teacher is from Winston-Salem, NC.  Of all places!  How random.... 

Our cleaning products at work KAY are from W-S, too and NC seems to come up all the time.  My student loans are from there and so was my short term insurance.  my life is studded with W-S and NC in general.  Can't wait until I graduate and go down!! (Saving all B-day, X-mas, tax return, etc. money for this and paying off credit cards as much as possible in prep.)

Donna told me when I came home last night that no one would think less of me if I dropped a class and asked if it was still add/drop period and I said yes, until next week.  But I said that I didn't want to drop any classes.  It would lessen my fin. aid, but I wouldn't be able to work any more to make up for it cos Tues and Thurs would still be pretty stacked and I'd still have a lot of homework.  She's worried that in trying to do everything I won't do anything well.  I hadn't been expressing doubt either she just brought it up when I walked in the door, I guess cos she's seen me doing homework for hours on end after work- but just once!  She said it might have looked so good to me to go back, that I wanted a lot of classes, basically like my eyes being bigger than my stomach and reiterated that it's a lot to do and that even 12 credits would be a lot with work.  But I need to do this.  To comfort myself I've been saying "C's get degrees" which is so out of character, I wanted dean's list, I still do.  I always had high honor roll in highschool, all three years.  But it's something I don't plan on (getting C's) but that I will understand is okay if it happens.  As long as I am trying. 

Since I lasted posted I started school.  Tues/Thurs from 8 am- 520pm and I haven't had a day off since Sat so I've had NO time.  All night after work last night, until 2 am, I was up doing homework and I still should have done mroe reading.  I did some more reading between classes today.  I've got to eat mroe inexpensively.  I'm writing this with 7 minutes to go before Women in Lit. having just finished reading Yonek and Baclaret by Marie de France.

Okay, well, more later maybe...  Tomorrow off!!!  I only get one day off a week now and soon it will be WEDS for homework.  How do you guys do this???

 yeah, so my Norton Anthology of Literature by Women is already highlighted (volume 1) ... by me... because I am a HUGE dork.  Like I said, I'm amazingly excited about returning to school.  (my reservation is about school and work combined, not at all about school)
Tuesday!  I can't wait.

I went today and got my parking decal and student ID.  The parking permits are FREE.  At Umaine you pay an assload for tuition and they charge 50 bucks for a parking pass.  HA!  I win.  And then I'll move to NC with my associates, establish residency and finish up a bachelor's.  Granted, this is all very delayed... esp since I graduated EARLY at 17 and should have had my degree by the time I was 21.  But I think that because that didn't work out is why I am so happy and appreciative of school, even community college, now.

I'm not sure if I will work at Starbucks in NC or maybe try to get secretarial work of some sort.  Starbucks at first at least because then I will be going there with a job.  I know... thinking far in advance.

So, while I was accused of being "emo" and still am if you want to call it that, I'm not just sitting around making myself miserable.  I've actually been busy getting ready for classes to begin among other things.  More little errands tomorrow.  And I need a lot of textbooks, but I ordered one online and I can't remember which and I'm not sure if it's the right one so I'm still waiting for it.  Odd that it hasnt come because I ordered it and the Nortons on the same day and they came a week ago.

Charlotte Bronte's life was really interesting.  And it's cool because I picked up "A Room of One's Own" last week or so and she discussed the Brontes and Austen and George Eliot and so now I'm sort of checking them out with her observations in mind as well.  "A Room..." is also in volume 2... excerpts,  I found.

Respite

This time
When I laid down
the two of them- my ghosts-
left me alone in my present.
Real life.

Professionals?

We knew,
suddenly, what 
our career plans were.  It
was clear after years of feeling
unsure.

Metropolitan Cleanliness

Knoxville 
Is the cleanest
City I've seen in my
Life.  It wasn't warm when we went,
but green.

all I write lately are warm-ups/prompts.  But it's writing.  I opened today btw.  Left the house for work at 445 am.  And I have been so "busy" getting back in the swing of things that my to do list is piling up, I'm already getting behind and it's basically all paperwork and phonecalls.  I could fill out a few forms now and write a stinking letter but I won't.

( You are about to view content that may not be appropriate for minors. )

http://cowhampshire.blogharbor.com/blog/_archives/2006/5/20/1971634.html

holy shit, this serial killer from the 1800's was... well f-ing nuts!!!  i found this article when I googled someone coming to EMCC who is signing autographs and stuff and I don't know who he is... and I found this... the hotel thing... insane.

 I'm terrible at collages... the layering!!!
...better.  i won't ask more of myself. these notebooks are for prompts and lists and form poems used incorrectly ;)

I have so many books to read and I could write, but I just feel like taking a nap.  I though about making something to eat since I just grocery shopped. but I'll do that after.  I didn't buy anything little debbie or ice cream because i keep gaining weight.  im okay with my weight right now, i guess, but i don't want to gain any more.

back to work on Tues! Orientation and a little work Weds, work work work the rest of the week but tues, weds and thurs I'm just filling in during the busiest hours at another store, so in the end, I'm only working 18 hours next week.  But that's a start.  24.5 hrs the week after and then college and work but I don't know my work schedule yet.  

I way overslept today. even though I went to bed at 3 I didn't get up until 1:15. It was too comfy and warm and I was sleepy.  And now a nap.  Wow, I'm the queen of sleep.  is it any excuse that i'm basically sedated?  if i were doing something, though, i'd stay up, i swear! 

edit:  well, i laid thee almost sleeping for an hour and then daniel got home and i got to eat yummy left-over lazagna at his dad's house which is v/ rare.

I filled my "writer's notebook" in one month!  The majority of it is, of course, exercises, poems that i wouldn't consider poems, epigrams, research, etc.  Because that's what these little 70 pg spiral-bound 5-cent on sale notebooks are for.  There are a few things in it that have worth, in that they are poems, or a short story, which is cool... kind of the point- write and write and eventually you will write something worthwhile.  I played a lot with cinquains, which for me are just journal entries or observations crammed into a limited amount of syllables per line which forces me to pick my words differently and be more concise etc etc.

I'm trying not to pick up too many more books since, when school starts, I'll have so much assigned reading and homework that I won't have time for my own choices.  Though in the past I always have, so I'll probably just stay up very late reading so that I can still read what I want to as well.  I wonder how it;ll be- working a lot and a full course-load- it's been a long time.  I'm really excited though, childishly so, I'm even counting days!  

I did buy a couple books today, though.  "Henry and June" by Anais Nin and "A Room of One's Own" by Virginia Woolf.  It's funny- I've read volume one of both of their journals/notebooks.  I also have read most of "Winter of Artifice" (Nin) and all of "The Waves" (V. Woolf)

and the requisite outfit picture- blurry,  you can;t see in these as much as in the others how badly my hair needs to be colored.  But you also can't see any of th stiching in the pants or the design on the shirt which is sort of a sunset painted on with kid style zig-zag cloth rays and hill tops sewn on.


and i snuck a picture of daniel taking a nap.

this is my outfit with a fantastic addition:
CHAPS!
this is my dad's pride and joy.

I went home yesterday to see everyone before school and work take over my life.  Good times.  Went to Belanger's (my first job) for a homemade chicken basket and ate the whole delicious thing, saw my mom and had gumbo and sangria, dad's, obviously, marc's twice and hung out with Lindsay at Barnes and Noble in augusta and then to marc's (the second time) to play "asshole", mindtrap and Wii.  I love Wii  tennis ! and I've played tennis maybe twice when I was young with my mom and brother.  It consisted of chasing down every ball and maybe two volleys in an hour.  If that's what they're called.  all on 3 hrs of sleep! i then slept from 430am to almost 3 today... missing my appt. with my pdoc b/c im too slow to get to bangor in an hour in the pouring rain. or maybe regardless.

daniel took a picture of my outfit this morning.  Thr outfit was good, too... steve madden bronze 5-inch gladiator sandals/heels,  army green tights, grey track-cut (but not material) shorts, a bronzish satin empire waist tank top and a loose, but 3/4 length cardigan for inside where the a/c is too cold topped with my crazy curly hair, complete with some frizz, haha.  
and then i deleted the picture by accident when i was trying to delete everything else 'cos they'd all been uploaded already!!  and then i was so tired when i got home that i threw on a dull, comfy outfit.  ill be fair and post it but dan is napping so i took it myself.

these pants are actually pale yellow and have a wide leg and feel fantastic- comfiest fabric.  I have a pair in light blue as well.  Maybe the one time that I've done what I wanted when I fall in love with a piece of clothing- buy one or two more in different shades.  

I've been literally nodding off since 6 p.m.  and why oh why haven't I napped?  Daniel just got up from his and mosty lightly slapped my face when i nodded off.  I haven't eaten yet, although coffee didn't help me, I'm hoping that food will revive me.  I wrote a few more cinquains for fun and i'll post them as soon as i can type.  I keep messing up, presing the wrong keys when I want to delete mistakes and typing with my eyes closed.  Moving around to try to see straight.

view, if you will, a hilarious poem written by my boyfriend (pictured below) on zygoteinmycoffee.com issue #109 poem #15.

This is what I've been seeing when I look up from my book or notebook, though not for the last few wet weeks. or week. however long its been drizzle-rain-thunder fest.



my reading spot from the w/c window.

today's outfit (I'm going to try to do this daily- if Dan's there to take the pic) My face will never look good in these.