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addictions
Jul. 17th, 2008 | 10:45 pm
Its like being addicted, to a drug. Heroin.
You get this...this rush from not eating, from going against everyone, from just REBELLING and oh it feels so good, so incredible. So good to be free!
I love it.
And I hate it.
Its also like smoking.
Sometimes, when I think about it, I feel like Edie Sedgwick. With an ED, wanting perfection it was like a drug...except she really was on drugs, lol.
I feel alive with this
Do I need this to feel alive? To STAY alive? Like Lisa from Girl, Interrupted.
I hate this and I wish my ED was dead
But not me, I don't want to be dead.
I am stuck
Forever?
I don't know.
Does anyone?
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(no subject)
Mar. 21st, 2008 | 11:44 am
that goes from like 6am - 11pm
or something like that
so that should take up
most of
my
time
i've had no solid food in 11 hrs 45 mins
bhaha. pathetic!
I have to last
from 12am today to 12am on tuesday
thats like 86 hrs without food
if I havent lost anything
...
i dont know what i'll do
has anyone here gone on a liquid fast drinking lke water + pepsi/coke/othr diet sodas
for over 24hrs
and if they have
how much did you lose?
xx
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(no subject)
Mar. 18th, 2008 | 06:00 pm
I have resisited temptation
to lollies,
reeces peanut butter cups
and peanut butter m&m's
I really do not want to #### it all up now..
I hate having this thing
I almost want to give up.
But I cant. I cant.
x
Link | Lovee | Add to Memories | Tell a Friend
(no subject)
Mar. 17th, 2008 | 04:13 pm
?
250 FUC KING CALS TODAY.
As soon as my family leaves
I'll do like 100 starjumps
and situps
and purge
oxo
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7:16pm
Mar. 16th, 2008 | 07:16 pm
feeling: 
depressed
cheese pizza + garlic bread
I can't believe it, I didn't binge on two of my most Faaavorite foods in the world.
:D
Dad brought me a Coke Zero, 0.9cals.
So I'm currently sipping that.
I read just before that celery, coke, carrots and tomatoes aid flushing out toxins and wastes,
so I had three baby tomatoes, a tiny stick of celery and about five grapes.
Maybe, 20 cals so far today?
Metabolism = slow as fucck.
Really pissed about that.
Auctually GAINED weight today.
I will not night binge. I must not night binge.
x
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3:33pm
Mar. 16th, 2008 | 03:29 pm
feeling: 
full
Just had two slices of cucumber
So like, about two calories?
I hope so.
I hear cucumber's good for pooping
I just like it for the taste and absence of calories.
No night binging. No night binges.
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Exercise-Day 1
Mar. 16th, 2008 | 02:22 pm
feeling: 
irate
tunes-: without love- hairspray soundtrack
exercise as of 3:00pm=
450 jumping jacks
50 situps
200 ballet butt squats
20 pushups
oh how I'm praying,
Please God,
don't let me night binge.
oxox
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Day 1.
Mar. 16th, 2008 | 02:06 pm
doing history homework right now,
all i've had so far is water, pepsi max and about ten leaves of lettuce.
which is like pretty much, no cals!
lettuce is apparently meant to make you poop.
so is cucumber.
I have to continue not eating above 100 cals,
until I'm at 80lbs. or 36kg.
right now =
161cm / 5.2ft
41.5kg / 91.5lbs
Yes, I know. Its freaking horrible.
Lets just hope I dont night binge
!