I miss sleeping. : ( Sleep, come home. It's not the same without you.




In other news, Fridays make me want to die. Thank god today's shorter than usual.

( You disgust and sadden me. )

This was very cathartic to write. It's actually applicable to a few people, who shall remain nameless, and because I hate drama and stirring it up is not my thing, I doubt they'll ever see it, but the sentiment remains. I don't know; I just want these people to be better, to fulfill their potential, but their egos just hold them back.

I couldn't say this shit to their faces, though, haha. I'm actually really non-confrontational, blunt as I am. I'm trying to get over that, though; I understand that conflict is necessary sometimes but, seriously, I hate the drama and the high emotions. I'm sure it's connected to my fear of disapproval, which is also something I try to work on (my career path is undoubtedly fraught with barbed words and scathing reviews).

I need to do some reflecting soon. Real reflecting, not the emo moods I get into sometimes. I think my personal growth is being stunted and I don't know if it's due to outer or inner influences, but most likely the latter.

I do wish, though, that the road to being a better person actually had an end, but I'm not naive enough to think it does and I'm okay with it. Change is necessary and I try to welcome it as much as I can, even if it goes against my personality (excuse the astrology, but I'm very much a typical Taurus, haha).

WHY DOES EVERYONE HAVE DRAMA THIS WEEK?

HFUHjksdgnfdsgls;kgf

I try to understand and get all the necessary sides but it's hard and it's difficult to be fair when it's friends and uhgggggg.

I never have this kind of drama. Okay, once, a little, sort of.

THE DRAMA LLAMA HAS COME TO UWF. EVERYONE TAKE COVER.

/vent



... That helped, haha.

So I was writing an emo entry and then I decided that I'm sick of myself and deleted it.

I'm tired. I think it's time for sleep.

Whiiiine whine whine whinnnnne. Bitch moan. Whiiiiiine.

Uhg.

I feel so much better today, it isn't even funny. My nose is still stuffy, but my throat feels fine (well, it doesn't hurt to swallow/breathe anymore, even if it's still swollen and aches if you touch my neck) and I don't feel like I'm going to die. The needle injection area is still aching, though, which is really annoying. But whatever. I feel human again, haha.

But I think I'm going to finally get a doctor down here. : \ I think that would probably be a good idea. To be honest, I really just want someone to test me for fibromyalgia. I just don't want them to be like, "Omg, you have so-and-so, you must take these medications for the rest of your life!" Because I hate taking medicine. Not to mention the fact that it would be money that I'd rather spend on more necessary things like food and transportation.

I'm sort of rambling. My head's still funny from being sick so I think I'm going to turn something on and stare at it blankly for a couple hours.

I have so much time to kill today, it isn't even funny. I have to waste the next four hours doing something until studio, which I haven't even decided to attend or not. And I'm about to fall asleep.

Hey. I could nap. Then maybe eat.

fdbshlfs I'm bored.

I need more sleep. Good thing I did my Diction homework last week.

( Copying hyperslinky: spring 2009. )

Also, this is kind of epic, though I still think he's a closeted scilon. Even if he's not, his wife still is and their money is still funding Scientology, which is still Very Bad.

So, I don't update much anymore.

Uh, Katie and I got Shepherd on the Rock for chamber music (with a pianist that I don't know). We worked a bit on the last movement of Carmina Burana in Singers today (the O Fortuna one). I'm liking this whole getting-homework-done-before-the-day-it's-due thing I'm trying out, especially because I have time to kill on my commute. Like, seriously, I almost never did my homework ahead of time. Ever. It's nice not to have to rush before class.

Oh, and Cloudburst by Eric Whitacre is amazing, guis. Download/buy the copy by Polyphony, 'kay?

And iTunes, don't tell me that I can't buy a copy of Shepherd on the Rock without buying a goddamn album. You'll make me try to steal it. I don't want to have to do that. Assholes.

And I'm sleepy. I think it's time for bed.


Tomorrow:
1. Diction
2. Homework
3. Library
4. ???
5. Profit Studio.

I need to know how many people, if any, would be willing to give me a ride to school. I would be able to chip in for gas occasionally, but probably not always. Otherwise, I'll be riding the bus/trolly, which isn't a big deal, honestly. But, uh, I shouldn't have a class before nine all week.

If you can help at all, please comment here or call me or something.

Long story short: I'll probably be able to pay for all of my classes; I'm not sure how many books I'll be able to get, but I'll cross that road when I get there. I'll be living at home for now. I'll be gone every summer.

I need to email Blake and ask him to accompany me. I just can't afford Mrs. Reed anymore.

I'm also going to see if I can get a job on or around campus. Because it's pretty necessary now, even if it wasn't before. If not, I'll try to find one not too far from my house.

If any of the UWF kids have concert/etc. video to upload, send me a message and I'll give you the password to the UWFMusic youtube account.



PS: I haven't slept yet. AWESOME.

Angie Zapata was murdered when her date found out she was transgendered.

"If anyone asks me EVER AGAIN why I wish humanity would die off, I will link them to this comment and ask them whether they don't feel a bit like nuking everything from orbit themselves afterwards." - bemysty on a particularly rage-inducing comment.

Words don't exist that describe my rage.

This is so fucking disgusting. I really hate people sometimes.

The unfunnybusiness comm is not good for my blood pressure. At all.

I still can't get over how the beginning of Bird of Paradise sounds. Nngh.

Also, I need some high energy music. Any recs? I have so much acoustic, slow stuff and sometimes, you just want something energetic. Not heavy, necessarily, but something that makes you get up and move.

1. Way better than last time.
2. mollyrocket had the best pose for Darren. For real.
3. I'm sad that mollyrocket and dominath's scenes weren't chosen. : (
4. PIKA.
5. The fish jokes. OH THE FISH JOKES.
6. "Man, what a dick!"
7. Frank Sinatra with Oprah Winfrey in a Gay Pride parade.
8. Oh lawd, we been rick-rolled.
9. ???
10. Profit!

I finished both Twilight and New Moon.

( My thoughts, let me show you them. )

So, I finally caved and started reading the first of the Twatlight series. I just finished the first chapter.

( My impressions. )

So, I decided, even though I don't know what's going to be happening in the near future, I'm going to dress up as Gert for Halloween.

I will, goddammit.

I still need Runaways icons. : (

I feel nauseated.

It's probably stress-related.

LALALA I'M NOT THINKING ABOUT IT LALALA.

( Dream-based Avatar fic(?). )

But in other news, my copy of Dead End Kids came today. With "JOSS WHEDON" written in big fucking letters. Goddammit, Amazon, I bought it from you in hopes that you had the other cover version but you don't, do you. Uhg.

( Spoilers. )

And I'm going to stop spamming your flists now. : \ Sry 'bout that, guis.

So, I love how alcoholism and drug abuse are extremely prominent in my family tree. And by that, I mean that my family (both sides!) tends to have very addictive personalities.

Apparently, my childhood decisions of "alcohol isn't what it's cracked up to be" and "let's not really trust pharmaceutical drugs" were the right ones. Hopefully, I'll be able to dodge that bullet.

On the downside, there's really not much I can do in the way of killing pain. : \ It's been getting worse over the last year, too. It'd be nice if, for just ten minutes, I didn't have some kind of back pain or head pain, but I really don't think that'll happen without, like, some strong shit that I'm not comfortable taking.

This random entry brought to you by the letter M, for "My body and genetics are conspiring against me."


Also, I still haven't slept yet. Goddammit.

Fandom, why do you have to be so dead? I'm craving post-second Big Bang fiction only to realize I've already read it all. The only thing even vaguely new in the last, oh, year has been Mind the Gap, which I read last week.

SADFACE.

Man, I'd even consider reading hetfic if I thought there was any good out there (there isn't. Also, I <3 my OTP).

Maybe I'll try doing something fannish in the morning. : \ Why are my favorite fandoms in a coma?

I need a life. Or maybe just kill me? UHG. I'M SO SORRY I WROTE THIS. D: It wouldn't go away, though.






Title: Gold-flecked
Fandom: Avatar
Rating: PG
Characters/Pairing: Ty Lee, Azula, implied Ty Lee/Azula.
Warnings: Spoilers for the series finale. Also a little dark.

( If Azula had ever managed to figure out how to firebend through her eyes, Ty Lee would already be dead. )

( Cut for spoilers? )

tl;dr version:
♥

So, I'm lame and I forgot about Avatar (DDDDD: Nooooes) until 8:30 (y'know, the last half hour) so I'm watching it now and OMG.

So the end of the epic battle between Aang and Ozai is SO MUCH COOLER in this medium. The written novelization made it sound lame, but THAT WAS AMAZING.

SO MUCH DO WANT.

Also, Crazyzula is kind of amazing and I love her. And Katara was pretty fucking badass, too. And IROH!

I NEED TO KNOW WHAT HAPPENED BEFORE, THOUGH. D: I AM CLUELESS.

SOKKA, YOU SO CUTE. I love how your reactions are EXACTLY MY OWN.

Doctor Horrible's Sing-a-Long Blog.

I forgot that Whedon's works never end happily.

dsngfjk;

I want to be a sheep and use tegaki even though most oekaki is ugly as hell, but dbfjlsgbn I can't do oekaki. D: I can't. It's just... NO LAYERS. D: There are no layers. And I can't choose exactly what color I want.

I fail at following internet art trends.




... For what it's worth, though I suck at it, tegaki is kind of addictive. But it's nice to use when I don't want to do a SRS BZNS thing in Photoshop, especially since it's acting up right now.

I MISSED THE LAST FIVE-TEN MINUTES OF AVATAR AHG I'M PISSED AND I DON'T KNOW WHAT HAPPENED.

INTERNET, YOU HAVE NOT DELIVERED YET. WHY HAVE YOU NOT DELIVERED?

/caps

D: goddammit.


INTERNET, YOU HAVE RESTORED MY FAITH IN YOU.

Ben (3:12:37 AM): http://seantevis.com/kansas/3000/running-for-office-xkcd-style/
Me (3:16:14 AM): lol.
Ben (3:16:36 AM): tempted to donate
Ben (3:17:24 AM): i didn't even know kansas had the internet

lol Ben.

If anyone cares, my mum got home around 11:45, with her arm in a splint. Thing. Anyway, they apparently gave her some sort of meds to take, idk why. Also, the break is closer to the joint than the one she had in her other arm last year, which is why it hurts more this time.

On the bright side, now she can use the lever for the recliner comfortably, since her right arm's all right this time.

I've been drowsy and sleepy since eleven and I haven't gone to sleep yet. Goddammit.

So, a few minutes ago (maybe ten), Mum apparently fell in the garage. I helped her sit up, but she's convinced she broke her left arm and just called EMS. They'll probably be here in a few minutes.

Guess she'll have to get used to using her right arm as her dominant again.

EDIT [8:14]: She's out in the ambulance and they'll be going to Sacred Heart any minute now. EMS took awhile to show up and then Mum wouldn't let them help her stand because it hurt too much, so they had to use another board thing to get her onto the stretcher. I've already called my grandfather/uncle (they both picked up, heh). On a more mundane note, we're working on getting dinner, since that's why Mum fell - she was getting a can of chicken stock from the garage and I guess lost her balance.

I can't honestly say I'm really worried, seeing as this is the third or fourth time it's happened in the last year and a half. The firefighters/EMS guys seemed more worried than me. I think one of them was trying to sympathize with me but couldn't figure out why I wasn't really affected by it. I dunno, I guess I just don't worry until it's something really, deathly serious, like when Mum had surgery last month, since that could've gone horribly wrong or had deadly results (which it didn't, but I have an overactive imagination).

idk, whatever. She said she'd call once everything's situated for her.

If you comment...

1. I'll respond with something random I like about you.
2. I'll tell you what song/movie reminds me of you.
3. I'll name something we should do together.
4. I'll say something that only makes sense to you and me (or just me).
5. I'll tell you my first/clearest memory of you.
6. I'll leave you a quote that is somehow appropriate to you.
or, I will include an icon just for YOU in my reply)
7. I'll ask you something that I've always wondered about you.
8. If I do this for you, you must post this on your journal so you can do the same for other people. Ok, must is a little strong. But it would only be fair.

( Day two. )

I need to get out of the house more. : \ Kayln should come up on Monday, yes? Prease?

Migraines like this make me want to die. Or cut off a limb to distract me from the pain in my head/neck.

I find that over-the-counter painkillers are losing their effectiveness on me. Which is complete fail because I don't take that shit much - maybe once a month? Honestly, body, fucking quit already.

The most fail thing about this is that I know that I'm going to wake up with the same migraine. I can feel it. This is one of those that's going to last me three or four days. Uhg.

My mother is pretty much amazing. Offhandedly, about a week and a half ago, I had this conversation with her:

Me: (looking in bakery area of store) Y'know, I've had the most persistent craving for cake ever since Portal. D:
Mum: O rly?
Me: Ya rly.
Mum: Go get a slice of cake?
Me: Nooo, I don't need cake.
Mum: All right, then.
Me: :D
Mum: ... I'mma bake a cake. What'choo want?
Me: ... !! :D <3 lol mom.
Mum: :D

She baked me a cake tonight - red velvet swiss roll cake. What delicious caek it is. How delicious. And caek.

She practically baked it for me. She makes my brother cookies all the time (well, me, too, but I'm not a big cookie eater. Or sweets eater, to be honest). So it's my caek.

YouTube is now required to reveal its viewers.




Well, shit.

No moar YT for me.

I'm meeting with Karen tomorrow after my brother's hair cut so we can talk about mine. I'll probably schedule one for next week, if possible.

...

No, that's it. I've run out of things to say.

Ellie: I am knowledgeable.

I should give up drawing, y/mfy?

Haha, kidding. Not really.

GOOD THING I DON'T GO TO ART SCHOOL.

Taken from a_trill

1. Reply to THIS post, and I will select four or five of your userpics that I like.
2