Quantum Shaman (tm)

I have largely come to the conclusion that abdicating from the world of matter and men may be the very best thing a warrior can do - though I am fairly certain many here will disagree at some level.  And yet...

Several years ago, it began to occur to me that I had essentially become segregated from the world and, as a result, from most people.  At first, I experienced a small amount of alarm at this realization - I have no friends by the traditional definition, no social groups with whom I interact regularly (or even irregularly), nor do I watch television, listen to the radio, or go to church.  My initial reaction to that observation was to scold myself - "Self, you've become a hermit!  Not only do you not HAVE any friends, you do not appear to MISS having friends!"

And yet...

When I was brutally honest with myself, I also came to realize that this seemingly "sad" state of affairs had been arrived at solely through my own choices AND my own desires.  And, perhaps worst of all, I was and AM quite content with this. In other words, it wasn't that I had "lost" all my friends, or even lost interest in the world at large.  More accurately, I have found that once a warrior sees through the illusions, delusions, political dramas, world wars, pseudo-terrorism, economic crises and the like, the warrior has a tendency to end up living somewhere in an isolated environment, not unlike don Juan and his little shack in the desert.  And, in my opinion, that is a good thing in the grand scheme of things if one is truly serious about BE-ING a warrior, as opposed to just talking like a warrior.

I can honestly say that I would know nothing of the current economic crisis (oh, those fearful words!) if others had not brought it to my attention.  That's one of the perks of not being plugged into the consensus reality through the comforting teat of the terror-tube.  Gives new meaning to the old cliche - "What we don't know won't hurt us."  *heh*  And, again, I'm fairly certain many here will raise the argument of "Forearmed is forearmed," or something to the effect...

And yet...

Over the past year, our business has continued to do well, even though we are what might be called a "luxury"-based business - IOW, the things we sell are definitely NOT essentials.  Clothing, jewelry, little indulgences for the kiddies... absolutely nothing of value whatsoever.  And obviously, those are the types of business which are the first to fail in a bad economy.

So I ask myself... to what extent does my own mindset contribute to all of this?  In other words, had I been more aware of "The Economic Crisis" (be afraid, be very afraid), is it possible that my own fears would have caused me to take a different course of action, and perhaps ended up thwarting myself in the process?  For example, a lot of our acquaintances in the business have said they "cannot afford to restock" because they are essentially hoarding what little money they make for "survival".  On the other hand, Wendy and I have restocked freely over the past few months (even moreso than usual, it seems), and as a result, we have the merchandise to offer to customers, whereas our competitors may be beginning to appear shopworn - IOW, victims of their own fears.  By failing to restock, a self-fulfilling prophecy comes into being... and I have to wonder if it ever would have happened in that manner had they NOT been so keenly aware of that Economic Crisis (be afraid, be very VERY afraid!)

We like to tell ourselves that awareness is always the key - and, indeed, that is a true statement.  And yet... when stalking the consensus reality, it certainly seems to me that there are times when one simply needs to walk away from the fear, turn a deaf ear to the blathering media, ignore all the predictions of doom and gloom by the analysts, and simply DO the right thing in whatever one's individual position might be.  It's when we start living in fear that we start hoarding - so the seeds for next year's harvest may be squirreled away for times of famine, and one has to ask, is the famine even REAL at the level where we ourselves exist? And if the seeds are never planted, where will next year's crops come from?

I've said before, with regard to politics, that I no longer vote, nor do I give a fat rat's patootie about who will end up in the white house in November.  It isn't because I am an irresponsible fuck that I walked away from all of that - it's BECAUSE of the warrior-stalker's ever-present awareness, the brutal knowledge that my vote is not going to change the world, nor is yours.  Idealistically, it could be argued otherwise.  But reality has proven otherwise just within the past few years - i.e., the guy who actually WON the last election was shoved aside when the electoral college (aka "The Fixers") were called in to clean up the mess made by the American public (read: we didn't vote the way we were "supposta").

So... having clearly seen what happens when the people go against the powers that be, it just seems to me that ANY investment of energy in the process of voting or politics is entirely folly - and not the least bit "controlled" folly.  Simple.  Folly.  Period.  The ultimate no-win scenario.  No matter which way you bend over, you're still going to get... well... you get the picture, yes?

Okay... that being the said, it also seems to me that this current Economic Crisis (run for the hills! pur your money in a sock! be afraid, be very very VERY afraid!) is being played up with all the usual pomp and circumstance that precedes any major election, but may not be any more "real" than the gas shortage of '73 or the notion of a lone gunman in the Kennedy assassination.  I mean - really! - what would happen if they gave a crisis and nobody bought into it?  What would happen if we all just turned off our television sets and went about our day to day affairs as if none of it were happening?

Well, Della, that's a bit naive, isn't it?

I dunno.  IS it?  My point here is simply this:  are there times when too much information - particularly too much FALSE information - may actually cause us to panic, and in our panic, create that self-fulfilling prophecy which says, "The sky is falling!?"  IOW, would the sky fall at all if everyone could just carry on, doing their impeccable best, rather than trying to speculate and prepare for some imagined crisis that seems to be far more of shell game for the power brokers than anything else?  We hear terms like bail-out and economic collapse and the like, but is there anything we can actually DO about it?  Pull our money out of banks and stick it in the mattress?  And, what would that solve?  And what other problems would it create in the big picture?  Self-fulfilling prophecies are the most dangerous of all, for there is a certain grim satisfaction in being able to say, "See, I told you so!"  And yet... somehow I don't think I'd feel right predicting the sinking of a ship if I then went out and sank the ship just so I COULD say, "see... told you so!"

The point is simply this.  Do.  Not.  Engage.

Or, if you are going to insist on believing that your vote matters or your awareness of every detail of The Economic Downfall of America is going to somehow make you a better person, then at least try to keep it in perspective.  A warrior's perspective.  Which states, very simply:  "In a thousand years, it won't make any difference."

Folly.

There are some who do not like to acknowledge that everything in our world is folly, because once we acknowledge that, it is a huge blow to our ego, and often a crushing blow to our self-importance.  We want-to-believe we are going to make a difference, our vote will count, rah rah rah and wave the flag for freedom, but the ultimate (and ugly) reality is that we'd might as well be playing with Monopoly money and moving our litle chits along the board game of Life.

A grim outlook?  Hardly!  When a warrior is finally able to *see* that it's all just a crazy game, there is a sense of freedom which goes beyond the ability of words to express.  Sure, I still maintain my responsibilities to my life, my family and the things I care about - but I do so largely BECAUSE I am "in" this world, but no longer "part" of this world.  I make no apologies.  I feel no remorse.  I don't accept guilt trips.  I simply do not find it beneficial or productive to "care" about the things I cannot change, particularly when it is so blatantly obvious that the problems which have been created at the highest possible level will not be solved as a result of me turning my attention to it.

I realize (and respect) that there are many warriors out there who believe that our "involvement" in such things are part of the path, but that has not been the case for me, and to be brutally honest, I'm not sure it's the case for anyone who is wholly committed to the path of self-evolution.  Reason being - if I were to devote the kind of time and energy it would require to address the "problems of the here and now" (economics, war, famine, meth, illiteracy & stupidity, just to name a few), I would have no time at all to devote to my own pursuits.  And let's face it:  when it's just me and the eagle, I'm not going to have a whole lot of concern about what I did to try to 'save the world'.  The eagle ain't keeping score, and death isn't advising me to go out and campaign for the latest joker in the three ring circus.  I have more important things to do - and so do you.

So in that regard, I have to say that a warrior chooses her battles and her battlefields.  When I place myself in alignment with "the right way to live" in regard to these issues, what inevitably comes to me is that our responsibility is not to "the world" (which is little more than a series of illusions strung together like so much xmas popcorn), but to the self, and to those who might cross our path.  I have always found that there is never a shortage of problems "close to home" as it were - people (and I consider animals to be people, too) who just seem to naturally come into my field of vision, and whom I might actually be able to help on some minor level.

I don't have to go out looking for souls to save or causes to engage.  It's all right here - as Dorothy said - "right in my own back yard."  Sure, even that is only controlled folly, but at least it may actually serve to enhance my own awareness while simultaneously serving another's, so there is some mutual benefit to the engagement, which seems to indicate an efficient use of energy - far moreso than banging one's head against the political arena or trying to vaguely understand or even wrap one's mind around the sum of trillions of dollars of debt.

In the 60s, there was much talk of "getting involved."  Luckily, I have grown older and hopefully somewhat wiser.  The only winning move is not to play.

Your mileage may vary.

   

       
All material in this blog (essays, rants, images, poetry, et al) is copyright © by Della Van Hise, and may not be reprinted elsewhere without the prior written permission of the author.  Quantum Shaman^TM  is a trademark of QuantumShaman.Com^TM and reserves all rights 
 

Condensed from a debate on an online forum...
______________


While religion and its accompanying rituals may be a comfort to some, it is important to take a step back and remember that the things we believe today are often little more than a program uploaded into our awareness through our culture, our parents, our peers, our history, and our society.  In the big picture, to believe that the act of immersing someone in water is going to have an effect on their immortal soul is no different than believing a common rock may become a diamond if one just wishes for it hard enough, or that the moon is made of green cheese because that is what their great-grandmother thought.  Believe what you will, but know that your belief will not affect the reality of what-is. 

As a little girl, I was baptized at the age of 7.  The whole shebang.  The whole big ritual in the tradition of the Southern Baptist Church.  For those unfamiliar with the ceremony, it goes something like this: The preacher stands in the pulpit for an hour on Sunday morning, shouting hellfire and brimstone.  Yes, literally.  No exaggeration.  Sometimes he even speaks in tongues.  On a really good day, he faints. At the end of the performance, the organist begins to play and sinful parishoners are encouraged to walk down the long red aisle and "accept Jesus into your heart and be baptized in his name."  We are told our sins will be washed away and we will be born again and gifted with eternal life in the kingdom of heaven, forever and ever, amen.

What does that really mean?  On the one hand, we have parents struggling with whether or not to let their kids believe in Santa Claus, with psychologists citing the potential anxiety the child may suffer when s/he discovers the truth.  And on the other hand, we have those same parents uploading their children with a fantasmagorical religious mythos that offers immortality, forgiveness from on high, and a mansion in the sky, yet never stopping to consider the anguish the child will suffer when s/he comes to realize that fairy tales are fairy tales, whether presented under the guise of good, clean cultural fun, or under the heavy cloak of religion.  The truth is, that while some may believe absolutely in their gods and devils, there is no more proof for either than there is proof for Santa Claus - and so to program children with such belief systems may be as detrimental as any lie told with intent.

To those inside an existing belief system (such as Christianity, Buddhism, Hinduism, or any other organized religion), the belief system itself will most often blind the believers to any other interpretation, leading to the old adage, perception is reality.  My mother believed whole-heartedly that the right thing to do was to have her 7-year-old daughter baptized in the name of Jesus, and yet even at the time it was all happening, I kept looking around, wondering when the guys from Candid Camera were going to jump out and say, "Just kidding, kid!  No one REALLY believes that dunking you in that cold water on an otherwise insignificant Sunday morning is going to get you a front row seat in heaven!" 

What was amazing to me then - and still to this day - was the fact that those who were already enmeshed in the belief system clearly could not see beyond it - but far more detrimental was the realization that they seemed to NEED others to believe as they believed. To NOT share the belief system, to DECLINE baptism, was blasphemy - the only unpardonable sin in the eyes of the Baptist faith. Bottom line:  believe as WE believe, or else. And so history is cluttered with religious wars, the violence of the Crusades, and the burning of the witches - just to name a few of the atrocities that inevitably result when religion and common sense collide.

In the church I attended, there was a 1-week interval from the time one walked down the aisle until one was actually baptized.  The thing I remember most from that week was seriously, deeply wondering what was wrong with the adults.  Did they really BELIEVE this stuff? Could they possibly think that a man born of a virgin who was impregnated by a holy ghost could somehow have the power to save another's soul?  And even if it were all true, how did this peculiar ritual of immersing someone in water play into the grand equation of religious salvation?

It didn't make sense.

It still doesn't.

Even IF God exists, I cannot imagine that s/he would grant or deny admittance to heaven based on whether one had been subjected to some ritual which is, ultimately, only a symbolic rite of passage rooted in a single belief system.  Baptism is a ritual created by Man - nothing more, nothing less.

So is it necessary to be baptized in the name of Jesus?  No more necessary than it would be to be slathered in vegetable oil in the name of Buddha, or smeared with mud in the name of Raxxmu of Mars.  Rituals are the byproducts of belief systems - and belief systems are the byproducts of fear.  They may hold great power & significance for those who are part of that system, but for anyone outside of it, the ritual is little more than a peculiarity - and may often be barbaric and frightening.  To a Christian, for example, it is commonplace to hear the words, "Eat my body, drink my blood, and you will never die," yet to someone not indoctrinated into that faith, those same words may be interpreted as symbolic cannibalism and vampirism, altogether horrific. So, it's important to understand that the rituals of one religion will have no significance to someone of another religion, or someone with no religious belief at all.

For as long as man lives in fear of death, he will never know life.

"The destruction of faith is the beginning of evolution."  (Quantum Shaman)

 

       
All material in this blog (essays, rants, images, poetry, et al) is copyright © by Della Van Hise, and may not be reprinted elsewhere without the prior written permission of the author.  Quantum Shaman^TM  is a trademark of QuantumShaman.Com^TM and reserves all rights 
 

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All material in this blog (essays, rants, images, poetry, et al) is copyright © by Della Van Hise, and may not be reprinted elsewhere without the prior written permission of the author.  Quantum Shaman^TM  is a trademark of QuantumShaman.Com^TM and reserves all rights to this material.  This includes all print and electronic media, including other blogs

I see a lot of movies, but very seldom do I feel sufficiently moved to write what amounts to a review of one. Yesterday, Wendy, myself and another friend went to see the new Kevin Costner film, SWING VOTE, and despite myself, I just can't seem to keep my mouth shut.   Nothing new there, I suspect.

Overall, the movie was pretty damn funny.. Costner is an old drunk with a young daughter; he can't seem to keep a job or hold his life together in whatever fashion we would consider 'normal' in this country. He's a fuck-up, but he loves the kid and she loves him. The set-up of the movie is that the kid is bright and has an interest in civic affairs, at an age when she is beginnig to buy into the propaganda we feed our children. You know the stuff - voting is our civic responsibility; jury duty is our social contract; every vote counts... blah blah blah.

If you've seen the previews, you know that Costner becomes the one guy whose vote will matter. There's a long set-up as to why this is so, and if we can buy into that, it turns out that whoever he votes for will be the next president of the US. Of course, this leads to him being courted by both sides, and so the film consists of watching the machinations of politicians as they attempt to please this one sole voter, and actually go so far as to begin changing their entire political platforms in order to swing him to their side. There are some hysterical scenes in the movie - one in particular where the democratic candidate begins touting anti-abortion, and we see healthy children vanishing in a poof of smoke on some idyllic playground.

So there are some funny moments in the film. Maybe worth the price of admission. But... and it's a huge but...

SPOILER WARNING... (if you plan to see the film & don't want to know the outcome, read no further).

After all this build-up with how Costner is basically just a beer-guzzling ne'er-do-well, he decides virtually overnight to change his ways, mend his evil habits, and become socially responsible. Okay, maybe that's a good message. Maybe. But then comes the speech. {You knew there would be one, right?}

As Costner faces down the two presidential candidates in what is supposed to be "the final debate", he begins talking about how he feels ashamed for not voting, how he feels ashamed for losing sight of whatever minor dreams he had as a young man, how he feels ashamed of himself for being the fuck-up he is...

Hmm. At this point, I started to notice something about the audience. With the theater almost full, people were leaning toward the screen, some were mumbling "Amens!" of one sort or another, the lady two rows behind me was sniffling as if riveted to the final scene of TERMS OF ENDEARMENT, and for the most part, these sheeple were buying into the propaganda - cleverly delivered in the form of what amounts to neurolinguistic programming - and by the time the film ended, the audience cheered, while I was sitting there wide-eyed, feeling somewhat like I had just been slammed upside the head with a large 2 x 4.

"Don't they see the program?" I asked of Wendy. "Don't they realize they've just been spoon-fed a guilt-trip which is designed to do nothing more than drag them to the polls come November?" "Don't they GET that the movie is now shaking a finger at THEM, when perhaps it needs to be shaking a finger at 'the system'?"

They don't get it. That much was obvious. And, in fact, the other friend who was with us was quick to defend the film, attempting to say, "Well, it's just a fantasy film! No different than Batman!"

Er... I don't see it that way. The timing says otherwise. With the election only a few months away, it seemed far more rooted in agenda - and an agenda which relied upon essentially programming its audiences to feel guilty if they don't vote. Um... er... has everyone conveniently forgotten the fact that the LAST election wasn't decided by "the people" at all, but by a bunch of stuffy politicians referred to euphemistically as "the electoral college"? Nobody's vote counted! The guy who legitimately won the election isn't in the White House, because it would have been inconvenient to the powers that be, and so we were treated to a smoke & mirrors show, an elaborate presentation of the old shell-game trick, and if anyone cares to think otherwise, I suggest you check your programming guide and ask your doctor, 'cuz we all got a rather large suppository with THAT little charade, and as a result, I made the personal decision to never vote again. What's the point, after all? If the powers that be don't like the way the election turns out, there's always The Electoral College Card waiting to be yanked out of some spin-doctor's ass, and played like the ultimate trump in a bad game of Old Maid!

But I digress...

To MY perceptions, the entire purpose of the film had become an agenda - the humor turning into nothing more than a sugar-coating which would make us want to willingly swallow the big nasty pill. What seemed so ironic was that the Costner character had just read a letter from someone in Podunk, which essentially said, "My wife and I both work two jobs just to make ends meet, and some weeks we don't make it. I am afraid to think of what would happen if one of my children became ill. So my question is this: if we are the richest nation in the world, how come our own people can't afford to live here?"

Good question! How come most of us can't afford health insurance? Why is gay marriage even an issue, and why do we allow religious manipulation and the propaganda of the Catholic church to influence what would otherwise be a simple and clear-cut case of human rights? Why do we pour so much money into defense when cancer and AIDS still have not been properly addressed? And why should WE feel guilty when most of us are working our asses off just to pay our taxes so these guys who are "supposta" address these issues can go right on taking vacations to Tahiti on taxpayer money?

From a warrior perspective, the film left me with a bad taste in my mouth - largely because it demonstrated the fine art of neurolinguistic programming, and how that can be used to get people to think, say, feel or do just about anything. Feel guilty, we are told. Get out there and vote, we are told. Clean up our acts, we are told. And yet, our leaders have proven to be the most corrupt, inhuman, spiritually-debilitating bunch of nitwits to come down the pipes in centuries!

Does anybody out there believe voting is going to change anything? Maybe you do. And maybe you're right. Last election seems to say otherwise, but no mater. If you're going to do it, do it with awareness, and do it because it is what YOU want to do, and not just the result of some movie that attempts to shame and guilt you into buying into the existing paradigm; because the nasty secret is that while we are busy trying to be informed-about-the-issues, chances are we are doing little more than dancing on the surface of the mirror while the smoke creates an obscuring fog around our heads.

What to do?

Stay awake. I personally have come to believe that this country (and most others) have moved well beyond the point where our individual votes are going to matter one iota. When we couple the level of technology available with the degree of deception & manipulation that is possible, we begin to *see* that we are going through the motions of going through the motions... largely because we don't know what else to do. We want-to-believe it will make a difference, but is that really the reality of it? Seems unlikely, all things considered. Seems to me we would have better results if we each threw a gallon of gas in the bay like our ancestors threw all that tea in the harbor. Problem is - we don't have time for that, because we're too busy trying to keep our heads above water.

I'm a cynic, so if my words here annoy you, throw them over your shoulder and pay no attention to that man behind the curtain. Get drunk. Get laid. Or go to a movie. I would even recommend SWING VOTE for the humorous parts - some of which really are quite hysterical. Just be sure to wear your tin foil hat to keep the electronic propaganda from penetrating your skull, and set your bullshit detector on High.

***

copyright 2008, by Della Van Hise
All rights reserved
 

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All material in this blog (essays, rants, images, poetry, et al) is copyright © by Della Van Hise, and may not be reprinted elsewhere without the prior written permission of the author.  Quantum Shaman^TM  is a trademark of QuantumShaman.Com^TM and reserves all rights to this material.  This includes all print and electronic media, including other blogs

It's not that I don't have anything to say these days - just that the majority of what I have been observing has either been said before, or there seems to be litle point in tossing words up on a screen just to see them appear like magickal talismans on the cyber-fabric of some internet chat room or forum.  I hear myself asking... "What's the point?"  Obviously, there is none, and so I return to the silence and simply observe the flow of life and death and all that falls in between those two sticky-labels, and the real truth is that it is all too damn big to talk about except to grab at litle bits and pieces which might move the heart or stir the soul at some point in an otherwise insignificant day.

Over the course of the last few months, there have been dialogues here and on other forums that may have caught my attention briefly, but even when I have felt motivated to respond to them, it all comes down to that same question:  "What is the point?"  I have concluded that forums and chat rooms are not really places where we learn much, if anything at all.  Most often, they are cyberlounges for folks on a similar path, and that can have a certain appeal and perhaps even some minor value, but I have also come to realize that any real learning that is going to happen will most likely happen in a one-on-one environment, person to person, face to face.  Doesn't mater.  Just my observation.  Something I am choosing to talk to myself about here in this blog folder where there is no attempt to justify anything, and no need to apologize for any feathers that may choose to become ruffled by my mumblings.  These are simply my thoughts.  You are free to disagree.

Disagree.  An interesting word, and one often heard on forums.  Sometimes it has started to seem to me that people choose to disagree not necessarily because they really do disagree, but because in disagreeing with someone, a platform of dualism is created, wherein a debate may ensue - you say black, I say white, and the debate is on, wherein each of us attempts to define our position and - just perhaps - there is some underlying attempt to define the self through the debate. 

But... is that really the self at all?  If you convince me that black is white or I convince you that the sky is not really blue at all, what has really been accomplished?  Perhaps some belief systems shift slightly, but ultimately they are still beliefs.  Life goes on.  Kingdoms come and go.  Cemeteries fill up.  And what we believe about it all is little more than what amount to a critical review one might write after seeing a particularly silly play in some high school drama production. 

Heh.  People don't want to hear that.  They want to go right on with the comfort of their belief systems, and who am I or you to tell them otherwise?  I've put what amounts to an inventory of my own "belief systems" on my website, Quantum Shaman.  Anyone can read them.  Agree or disagree.  Makes very little difference to me in the big picture.  Your agreement will not strengthen my reality - though for some truly bizarre reason, we seemed to be programed as a species to believe otherwise.  Thus, we are always seeking some sort of agreement - some sort of consensus, some sort of resonance.  And yet... does it ever really happen?  And if it does... what does it actually accomplish?  Just questions I ask myself from time to time when I read something on one of these forums that either pleases me or rankles me.  So what if I agree, disagree, or have no opinion whatsoever?  Nothing changes in Pismo either way, and so the question becomes one of what might be called "confidence" in our own unique reality.

In some ways, I've spent the past 8 years testing my personal "foundation" (my own unique reality) in these forums. Putting my experiences out there in the form of my website, my book, and my forums has been a means of assimilation for me - rocky and treacherous at times, loving and supportive at others.  And still... what really matters is what's inside myself.  Does the foundation hold?  Has the assimilation brought me any closer to a personal synthesis of The Meaning of Life?  Difficult question to answer in a yes/no fashion.  Ultimately, I have no regrets, but at the same time, we come to a point in our journeys where we realize that we have used a certain tool until it has become dull and ineffective.  So, after these past 8 years, what I have discovered is that my foundation is firm, my experiences (and not my beliefs) are the basis for my reality, and that the core of my beliefs determines the realities we see, and obliterates those we choose to ignore.

A contradiction?  Perhaps.  Who cares, eh?

Two nights ago, a visitor came into my office late at night.  At first I believed she was a bat because she flew like a bat and looked like a bat.  I am not afraid of bats, so I made no effort to harm her, and when I finally got a good look at her, I realized she was actually some manner of large gypsy moth - probably attracted to the light streaming out through the open door leading into the courtyard.  She flew around the ceiling light for awhile, but then came and landed on my head.  Just because of her size (about as large as my hand), I could feel the weight of her.  Kinda funny, as she crawled around in my hair.  She would fly away at times, but always kept returning to land on me.  I took it as an honor and tried to listen in case she might have something to teach.  But my hearing wasn't so good for moth-speak, and so I simply sank into the experience of the moth herself.  Took a few pics...

At one point, I took her back outside and released her to the night, even left the porch light on to attract some bugs for her to eat, but she came back in and once again perched on my arm.  Hmm.  Impossible to describe, but we communed at some level beyond humanform.  She said she was looking for sanctuary, and so I left her in my office when I went to bed.  And yet, I realized I couldn't sleep because I was thinking about this strange moth (not even indigenous to this area, or so I'm told, not sure about that).  Got up out of my comfy bed and returned to my office to find her sitting in my chair.  So we regarded one another for awhile, until she flew back up to the ceiling and I returned to bed.  Next morning, she was gazing out the window, and so I gathered her up on a piece of paper and took her back outside.  She flew up under the eaves where she blended exquisitely with the natural wood, stayed there for several hours, then apparently flew away.  Haven't seen her since, yet the experience remains with me and causes me to smile whenever I think of it.

Strange encounter.  An encounter with the nagual.  Perhaps.  Yet entirely mundane if viewed only from the perspective of the tonal. 

Funny thing...  I woke the next morning (yesterday) feeling as if I were 18 again.  My body felt lighter.  My eyes seemed brighter.  Tested my blood sugar only to find it was higher than normal.  Just numbers, I heard my mind say.  Agreements.  A consensus to which one either agrees or disagrees.  I choose to disagree, with the awareness that there are consequences to any choice we make.  I felt better than I had felt in years, so it seemed to me that the numbers could be just an attempt to pull me back into the agreement.  I chose not to play.  Fuck the numbers.

In the other room, Wendy is watching the tube, and I hear the chattering drone like a bee buzzing around some particularly tasty flower.  Ask your doctor.  You are sick.  Be afraid.  Global warming.  Can't sleep, try this pill, even though the side effects may include jumping off a tall building in your stupor or gunning down innocent children on a playground in your delusional state.  This drug. That treatment.  This ailment.  That cure.

Programming of the mind.  First we make you believe you are sick, and then we offer you the cure, but it's not really a cure, because it if were, you would no longer be sick and that would not be profitable, so back to square one, and remember to ask your doctor about the treatment plans available to deal with the side effects of the cure, so now you're even sicker than before, but you agreed to agree, so now we have you by the balls.

We take pills for our ills and put gas in our tank (at $4.50+/gallon) just to get to work, so we can afford to buy the gas to put in our tank to get to work, and all I can do is marvel at the fact that the world keeps turning and humans keep upholding the very programs which hold them as slaves.  For surely we must all realize somewhere deep in the heart of ourselves that this is not real.  I mean... if I see it, surely others must see it as well, right? 

What to do?  Nothing, perhaps.  I could start a revolution and suggest that we each throw a gallon of gas in the bay like our forefathers threw all that tea in the harbor, but that would only add to the pollution, and so we just keep on keeping on even though the system is clearly broken and the hounds of hell who professs to be "in charge" are really only sitting back laughing at the complacency of a population that seems to willingly bend over every time some new tax is imposed or some new war is contrived.

Ever see WAG THE DOG?  Great little movie.  Hoffman.  DeNiro.  Basically the story of how everything we think is real is just manufactured in some Hollywood studio and sold to us on the 6 o'clock evening news, like so much toilet paper and deodorant.  What's amazing to me is that so many buy into it so easily.  Suddenly we are fighting a war on terrorism, when the greatest terrorists of all are those selling us the lies in a plain brown wrapper labeled "truth", when to anyone who *sees*, there is no doubt whatsoever that every bloody shred of it is illusion re-dressed in such a maner as to make it palatable so that we will swallow it right along with all those pills, and keep on smiling when we bend over to take it up the ass yet one more time from the latest tyrant with an agenda to peddle.

And yet...

Does it matter to me?  Not in the least.  I quit voting for good when the guy I voted for actually WON the election, but never took office.  That's one of those times when the illusion-masters slipped up and we got a peek at the man behind the curtain; but instead of staging a revolt, most just went to work the next day (and the day after that and the day after that), pretending the wizard was really the wizard even though they had clearly seen him for precisely what he was:  a fraud, a cheat, a lie.  The funny thing is that we fraud ourselves, we cheat ourselves, and we lie to ourselves, because it is far, far, FAR easier than looking the illusion in the face and seeing it for what it is.  So, we choose to go on believing it's real because that "feels" better, and we are indulgent little bastards who crave our comforts like a baby craving mama's teat.

But no matter...  All a warrior can do is laugh or cry, maybe a bit of both, knowing full well that neither will make one iota of difference in the big picture of The Meaning of Life.  All of these plays and illusions are altogether irrelevant when all is said and done, for these "interesting times" in which we live are but a drop in the bucket of the All, just little dramas to amuse ourselves while we wait in the darkness for the touch of Death on our left shoulder, having long-ago accepted that "all things die", when we have absolutely NO personal experience in that regard, only the belief system coupled with the "evidence" that has been shoved down our throats by well-meanig parents & peers since before we first crawled out of the womb to begin the trek toward the grave. Why do we accept the programming we are given?  Ah, that's the question, isn't it?  We believe we will die, and so we live accordingly.  We believe the sun will rise tomorrow and there will be enough oil in our tanks and water in our piles, and so we live accordingly.  We believe... but what do we really Know?

Not much.  Maybe nothing.

If there is any meaning, it is in what we decide as individuals.  If I choose to find meanig in my meeting with the moth, it is no more or less significant than the bombing of the World Trade Center or the war in Iraq.   If I choose to disagree with all of the consensual agreements, nothing will change in Pismo anymore than if I should choose to agree with the consensus. 

Out there beyond my window, the world is simply what I experience of it.  In here, within myself, the world is what I experience of it.  Everything begins with a thought.  From that thought, we choose to act with intent, or to remain passive observers.  Which is right?  Which is wrong?  Where is the consensus?  What would don Juan say?  What would Jesus do?  What would Buddha think?

Who cares.

Believe what empowers you.  Manifest what serves you.  Throw the map away.  Burn the paradigms that enslave you even and especially if you love them.  Get rid of the toxic elements in your life.  And, most of all, remember to breathe.  

       
All material in this blog (essays, rants, images, poetry, et al) is copyright © by Della Van Hise, and may not be reprinted elsewhere without the prior written permission of the author.  Quantum Shaman^TM  is a trademark of QuantumShaman.Com^TM and reserves all rights 

December 14, 2002
Transcript of a channeled gnosis session - Orlando's dialogue with a warrior

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JACK: Julian and Juan were very different. Juan was under the impression that Julian was waylaid in his search for freedom. Della and I feel you to be considerably closer to Julian than you might be to Juan or Elias. Is this true? And, if it is true, does it matter