Quoted For Truth

I figured Ben would at least like this if he reads it:

Puddin Time!


And for anyone who still reads this... stop. Go here instead.

Go to wikipedia and look up your birthday (excluding the year). List 3 neat facts, 2 births and 1 death in your journal including the year. Also put any holidays that might be on your day!

Facts

1800 - U.S. President John Adams takes up residence in Washington, DC (in a tavern – the White House was not yet completed). - this one is interesting to me because John Adams is my great-great-etc grandfather
1973 - Reggae stars Bob Marley and the Wailers release the classic album Exodus, which will be named Time magazine's "Album of the Century" in 1999.
1989 - The government of China sends troops to force protesters out of Tiananmen Square after seven weeks of occupation.


Births

1808 - Jefferson Davis, President of the Confederate States of America (d. 1889)
1929 - Chuck Barris, American game show host, producer, and self-purported spy

Death

1924 - Franz Kafka, Austrian novelist (b. 1883)

holidays

Feast day of St Charles Lwanga and Companions, Martyrs of Uganda
Roman Empire - Festival to Bellona


I guess mine weren't particularly interesting.
If anyone still reads this... stop. I put all my crap up on http://www.QuotedForTruth.com now. You can find it there.

http://www.QuotedForTruth.com

Yay! A new place for me to spew forth my poorly constructed thoughts. Hope to see you there.

I decided to get my own web site, which is nice, not only because I can write and have control of everything, but I can also host other sites and files and do whatever I want.

I highly recommend DreamHost, they are hooking me up. They've also got a referral program, so if you like what you see, do me a favor and go through this link if you want to sign up. They provide a lot of bandwidth, have a whole lot of one-click install features, give you a free domain when you sign up, and you can link unlimited domains to your hosting, so I'm impressed.

The site is coming along, I managed to get all of my LJ posts and comments imported, so hooray. I'll post the addy when I'm done.

Edit: new page is at QuotedForTruth.com

Nah, I'm not quitting the whole blogging thing, I'm getting my own site. I'm in the middle of setting up the new site and webhosting. I'm going to *try* to bring all of my content over there so you can read through it all and be equally bored with it again on a different website. I'll post the URL address when everything is set up.

Click here, search for the text "wreath" on that page

That's funny. My buddy Dave was the one who did it.

Figure 1

Lesson one: tools of the trade

This inconspicuous looking book should extract at least a guffaw from you for obvious reasons. One little-known fact is that this is actually an invaluable tool for your average PC technician, but not in the way you might expect.
It is well known that PC technicians can be a stressed bunch from time to time. Disgruntled geeks are a dangerous thing, and the government knows this. The government also knows that stupid people are dangerous as well. This is why they secretly allow each PC technician in the country to kill one person per year. This has the dual effect of both alleviating stress from the technician, and preventing the thickest of idiots from depriving the rest of us of just that much more sweet, sweet oxygen.
Seeing as how they only get to kill one person per year, each technician will need to come up with a foolproof weeding process to ensure that they do away with the most idiotic fucktard in their region as to provide maximum stress relief. One day, a particularly clever geek came up with the brilliant idea of placing this book (Fig. 1) on the shelves for purchase. This technique has since been employed in many computer stores across the nation. Only the most oblivious of assclowns will purchase a book that simplifies something as mind-numbingly simple as AOL, a program successfully used by 113-year-old Alzheimer-inflicted grandmothers, Bubbles the chimp and Kato Kalin.
By selecting such a moronic publication for purchase, the subject has unwittingly selected themselves for a Random Act of Darwinism. Oblivious to the warning signs, the customer will follow the technician that beckons him to the back Build Room before being bludgeoned to death by the book they have just paid 29.95 for (before tax). Thus, by utilizing this tool, the proverbial chlorine has been administered to the most shallow end of the gene pool and the technician returns to work revitalized and refreshed by the blood of his enemies, and places the book back in its spot on the shelf after cleaning off stray brain matter from its encrusted cover.

Richard Pryor just died (RIP)
Comedy Central is now playing the special: "Richard Pryor: I ain't dead yet motherfucker"

I work in the technology section of my building. Everyone on my floor is making creative ornaments to hang on our Christmas tree.

I made this:


Hopefully this is too subtle to get me fired.

This entry is about poop. Hooray! My goal today is to fit as many euphemisms for going #2 as possible into a single blog entry.

One day in the cubicle farm I was complaining to a co-worker of mine how our floor is a complete sausagefest, and therefore it is nearly impossible to take a dump in peace due to a busy men's room. I had been considering scouting the building while out and about doing tech work to discern which floor has the least number of men on it, and to make a habit of setting up camp on that floor when dropping off the kids at the pool. Like most guys, I prefer privacy when scaring up a tater (except for a few men, who seem to take sick pleasure in plopping their cheeks down onto the neighboring throne and going into labor right beside you).

Apparently I have not been the first to come up with this idea, as this particular co-worker clued me into his top-secret intel regarding log-snapping at the Department of Education. He had long ago come to the conclusion that one certain floor is the best location to take the Browns to the Super Bowl. With this information in hand, I went to offload some freight. "You know, whenever I say I've got a conference on the 5th floor to take care of? Yeah."

That went well the first couple of times I took a growler... but recently I've started to think that the cleaning crew has managed to plant a tracking device in my ass, because every time I step out of the office to release the hounds a is Mexican busy cleaning up the bathroom. Even worse, when I find a restroom clear of company, the cleaning crew shows up while I'm in the middle of sinking the Bismark. This happens at least 50% of the time. I have never in my life seen such a thorough cleaning crew, because they are *always* in the bathroom and *never* leave before I'm finished. I'm already embarrassed enough when I'm walking out so I try to simply wash my hands and make a quick exit, but it's happened so often that they always say hi and wave to me as I emerge from the crapper. They must think my job consists entirely of snapping yambos in their presence. I mean, come on... I'm only in there once a day or so... there's seventeen stories and thirty-four restrooms in my building... why is there always a Mexican in my bathroom?

My family recently sat down for Turkey Day Dinner. It was nice; everyone was there and my sister Kathleen brought her boyfriend, Brent. Lauren brought a couple of her friends too.

During the dinner conversation Brent brought up the fact that one of he and Kathleen's mutual friends had bought some sort of wand (as in Harry Potter) made of rosewood or something.... and it cost $40. That's right, $40 for a freakin wand. Quote of the evening, from my father: "...does it work?"

Also learned that Kathleen, who is deathly afraid of cockroaches, managed to step (and stay standing) on a live one (well, it was until she stepped on it) barefoot in front of Brent one day. He tried to tactfully and simply say something to the effect of "Um, I think you're standing on a roach" at which point she FLIPPED THE FUCK OUT and hopped away to the bathtub to wash her foot, knocking over and breaking a wine glass in the process. At this point in the story my mother looks at Kathleen and says, "You told us Brent broke that wine glass!" The reactions that followed were priceless.

"OK, this is really random but I wanted to tell you. I have an african-american friend and last night I was baking cookies and I had flour all over me and she came to give me a hug goodbye and I told her "I can't hug you because I'll get you white" and I meant with flour and I didn't even think about it in the sense that I am white as in caucasian and she's african american, but she took it that way and gave me a really, really weird look and I felt bad. And I just thought I'd let you know because... I don't know why. But how horrible is that? I'll talk to you later. Bye."

------------------

"Hi, a doctor or someone called and I have this LONG message to give you. I wrote it all down with like numbers and stuff... I'm not going to tell you over voicemail because that would take forever. But also I was running on the treadmill at like 6 miles per hour and the electricity went out and I flew off the treadmill because it stopped really suddenly and it hurt! But I hope your day is going well and I'll talk to you later. Bye!"


Edit: Despite how she might appear on here by my account, she is very thoughtful and intelligent. So don't get the wrong idea, she's not a ditz ;)

Well, it ain't exactly the same bird but you get the idea.

If you're reading this within 24 hours of it being posted, do this:

1. Go to www.ebay.com
2. Search for Xbox 360
3. Look at the prices

Last I checked, the auctions were all ending at $1000-1600 apiece. For a $400 console. That is incredible.

The Playstation 3 comes out in Spring, I gotta figure out how to snag ten of those for a quick $6000 profit.

Paintball video of practice last weekend... I wasn't there, but the FSU Paintball guys and most the people I normally play with were. Enjoy.

Click here to view

This one is just gonna be some rambling.

Spent last Friday with my friend Janice, we had fun... went to lunch, then went to see that new Nicholas Cage movie, "The Weatherman." We were planning on going to the fair after seeing the movie, but the film was NOT delightfully quirky as the previews had indicated... it instead turned out to be ridiculously depressing, to the point that we walked out of the theater and into Garfields for a drink afterwards instead of the fair. Haha. After that we hit up the sheesha bar. Good times.

Today someone asked me why I don't try dating Janice. I had to think about it for a minute. Turns out I really don't know why, but I'm not attracted to her like that. I've got every right to be... she's exotically beautiful, intelligent, kind, down-to-earth, witty, etc etc etc. Most guys in my position would be falling over themselves for a chance with her, and they sometimes do so very publicly with hilarious results. But despite how she's got everything in all departments going for her like that, I'm just not attracted to her in that way. I really don't understand why. Not that I mind... I think it's great, and I think she feels the same way about me... there's no pressure in our "relationship," we just go out and have fun together. Maybe that's why it works. It's not like she needs my attention anyways, she already gets enough of it from other guys.

In other news, I went to Auburn last week to see one of my best friends, and to go tailgating at the Auburn-Alabama game. I got absolutely trashed two days in a row in Alabama, which is pretty fun. By the way, FSU might have a serious football following, but their rivalry with the Gators has NOTHING on Auburn-Alabama. Within a 2-mile radius or greater surrounding the stadium, it is absolutely PACKED with RVs and tents. I couldn't believe the sheer number of people at that game, and I've been to a lot of football games. Everyone is from Alabama, and everyone picks a team. I was wondering if things would get hostile, but they didn't... everyone was pretty good-natured towards each other. One guy was sitting on a cooler with wheels, riding it downhill in the middle of the street yelling "ROLL TIDE ROLL!" with beer in hand. I wonder if that qualifies for a DUI.

This week will probably be pretty boring considering everyone is leaving for Thanksgiving, but at least I've got 3 days off. Tomorrow I'm going in to Patients First to have my knee checked. I filed a Workers Comp claim since I hurt my knee jumping off a desk like a dumbass. Hopefully it's just a minor sprain or something like that, but it's been there for a month and I can't run one step without it screaming at me. I guess I'll find out tomorrow what is up. Either that, or they'll give me the runaround and send me to a specialist. Yeah, that's probably what will happen.

The Dante's Inferno Test has sent you to the First Level of Hell - Limbo!
Here is how you matched up against all the levels:

Level	Score
Purgatory (Repenting Believers)	Very Low
Level 1 - Limbo (Virtuous Non-Believers)	Very High
Level 2 (Lustful)	High
Level 3 (Gluttonous)	High
Level 4 (Prodigal and Avaricious)	Low
Level 5 (Wrathful and Gloomy)	Low
Level 6 - The City of Dis (Heretics)	Very High
Level 7 (Violent)	Moderate
Level 8- the Malebolge (Fraudulent, Malicious, Panderers)	Low
Level 9 - Cocytus (Treacherous)	Low

Take the Dante's Divine Comedy Inferno Test

Lindsey was always a hottie. But despite the fact that we virtually grew up together (3 houses apart) and went to school together, I never really got to know her. Somewhere between her blowing up my G.I. Joes as a kid and me realizing "Damn, she's a hottie and I never got to know her" in high school there is a huge chasm in which nothing ever happened between us, and we never even talked. By the time high school rolled around I was the tiny 5'1" fresh meat kid, and she was rolling in a social circle far, far above my head. After graduation she moved away to go off to college in The Land of Far, Far Away and I never saw her again.

Well, until tonight. I was at a geek party (the best kind, because geeks who know exactly what they are and are the truest people you will ever meet) and she walked in the door looking every bit as good as she did back then. She'd moved back to Tallahassee to come to grad school. Even better, she was interesting to talk to and seemed a genuinely nice and down-to-earth person. Such a combination is rare, and I was glad to see her again... and I'd be retarded not to try to keep in touch better this time.

Good news: I finally got Lindsey phone number!
Bad news: she's a lesbian now. (found that out later in the evening)

Damn! Oh well. I'd still like to hang out with her... she seemed genuinely interesting and it's not like I was only interested in how she looks.

It got me thinking though... everywhere I go in Tallahassee I recognize at least one person. Some people might find it comforting; I find it disconcerting. I've been here too long. Tallahassee is a giant comfort zone for me since it's my home and has been forever, but it makes me wonder what it means for me as a person if I make all these connections with people and never talk to them again until I randomly run into them years later.

I'm not a huge man about town or whatever, but I do know a fair amount of people. I go to parties sometimes and meet more people. I go play paintball and meet more people. I like people, people are friendly and I enjoy meeting them and getting to know them. But it's starting to become a problem because I can't possibly keep up with all of them.

I create a strong distinction in my mind between true friends and buddies. Buddies are the guys you hang out with on a semi-weekly basis. You enjoy similar activities and generally get along well, if only for the fact that you have something in common. There's a lot I would do for my buddies and there's a lot they would do for me. But I still carve a difference in my mind between what they mean to me and what a true friend is.

True friends are something that are difficult to come across. I think I've got about two of them. There are definitely people in my life that bridge the gap between buddies and true friends, but getting to the "true friend" state is a long process that takes years. I "let people in" very easily but don't often get truly close.

What ends up happening is that I meet people that I find interesting, and I want to hang out with them more. They end up becoming buddies of mine. I keep meeting people and eventually I spread myself too thin. I lose track of many, many people simply because there just isn't enough time for me to hang out with everyone. It's not always because I don't like them (although I don't make a habit of hanging out with people I don't like), I just don't have the time. I end up with a billion buddies who I never talk to, which either makes me extremely well-known or just a douchebag who collects friends for the fun of it.

So I either lose touch with people, or they assume I was putting on false pretenses when I seemed interested in them, or both. What do most people do in a situation like this? Just choose to meet less people? It's not like I always commit to seeing people again after I meet them... but you meet someone at a party and you don't see them again for three months... things get assumed, as in "oh, so you were just acting nice."

No, not at all. So I apologize if you get that impression. But when it gets to the point where I can literally not go to a restaurant and eat a meal without recognizing someone in the same room, I cannot possibly keep up with everyone. Does that make me a bad person? A phony who treats friends like trinkets to collect? I don't think so, I just like to socialize with new people sometimes. But I wonder how many people think I'm treating them that way. I know a few do.

Someone hacked my web forum. I was checking my email last night and saw an email from the administrator of the forum I run. In other words, me.


Message sent to you follows:
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

FLORIDA STATE SUCKS ASS


Hmm. I might have a problem.

It's turning out to be more hilarious than hurtful... the dumbfuck left me more evidence to point me in the right direction than a game of Clue with only 3 cards left.

First off, he wisely tried to use a proxy to make it look like his connection was coming from Amsterdam. Too bad he accessed the site AS HIMSELF approximately .02 seconds earlier.

What beef some dumbass from Oregon has with us, I don't know (they have Internet in Oregon?) but they obviously haven't mastered the subtle skills of trashing a message board.

So, I've got his IP address. But that's not the best part: he unwittingly left his email address when he modified the admin account to his preference. That's right, the dipshit left his hotmail email account sitting right fucking there, staring me in the face when I bothered to look.

It's on. If his ISP doesn't shut down his connection because I reported him to their abuse inbox, he'll be able to check his hotmail account for the eleventy billion penis extension group emails I'm going to be signing him up for. And I'm sure I can think up something more creative tomorrow.

The world's largest cockroach is skulking around my bedroom somewhere

I can actua

AH FUCK THERE HE IS

BRB