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4/2/08 05:51 pm - [info]notsoperfect105 - yay!

I'm finally here! Hey everyone my names jen and i just got accepted. I've been reading your posts for a while now and i have to say, all of you are beautiful inspirational people. thanks for all the support i've gotten from u so far.
So here's my story: I met ana when i was 13.. been together ever since (I'm now 18). I'm 5'9"
cw:120
hw:150
lw:109
1gw:110
2gw:100

Today i started a fast and its going really well. just water and green tea. I've also been doing really well on staying under 300cals a day. besides a few binge/purge days. im hoping to start the abc diet soon(when i get to 115) and hopefully reach 100 by july.
Current Music: ted leo and the pharmacists-me and mia
Current Mood: bouncy

3/14/08 09:36 pm - [info]bfatlove - ahhhhh

Ok so i dont know what to do because my mom dosnt fully know that im anorexic yet and she found me on a pro ana site.ahh idk what to do because if she finds out im going to be going to counceling and my school counselor already suspects things so like what should i do to keep there minds at ease???  I dont want to get caught but i dont want to stop. I cant stop that would be silly. Yeah and another thing that bothers me is i have been getting these dreams that like im in a car looking out the window and then all of the sudden i blow up like a balloon and im really fat. and they started happening whenever i close my eyes now its bad. Idk what to do these things are making me sick everytime i see them. Idk i just need help if anyone has any ideas to make my life less stressful then tell me please. i need serious help!!!!!!!

3/14/08 01:41 pm - [info]fattyemz - into the routine

hey, havent written in a long time so thought ill say how i have been doing...
thnx to my food diary it is easier to count cals and how much i need to cut down, but now and then i give up for a moment and eat something really fatten and loads of it for example:  on monday i had 6 biscuits. ewwwwwwww      even worse yesterday i had 3 packets of walker crisps and today i had 2 fucking doughnuts,  like wtf??   last nite i slap myself round the face and sed im gonna starve myself today but no i caved in and had two disgustin doughnuts.

but ive been working it off,  every morning i do 128situps, 64bumlifts, 32pushups, load of different arm workouts, 48 leg lifts and back stretches (which i have to do for my ingury in my leg).  then ill do whatever more that will burn off what i have eaten today, sometimes i let myself off and just leave it at about 65cals but as long it is not over 100 im kool lol.

its so hard tho i wanna be just as thin as isabelle caro but its really hard to resist sometimes,  god why do food have to taste nice


ow ell,  ill have to be more strict on myself and since it is easter hols  my goal can be to eat 200 or less cals everyday and work it off of cause lol

love ya all,

emz xxxx

12/31/07 11:41 am - [info]fattyemz - greatness of coffee!!

hey, i havent written in ages, hope all is good and hope you all had a good xxmas!, 
just recently i have been doing quite well, its not a matter of i dont want to eat i just cant be bothered to make anything and i dont really fancy anything,
i also found out that coffee is good at making you not so hungry,  i use to feel really ill if i didnt eat anything in the morning, but now i have coffee in the moring instead of tea and it has made a big difference, im aint so hungry.  so whenever i really want some thing to eat ill have a cup of coffee.
because of that i have only been eating dinner which is about 300 cals- 300 cals a day is good for me =]

lv you all
emz xxx

11/22/07 11:01 am - [info]fattyemz - Long time no speak

hey, i havent written a blog in ages so how is everyone? happy dieting??
with me it is the usually, doing rubbish as usual, 600 cal intake but i walk a lot so maybe it may go down to 500  hopefully.
had my mock exams today and yesterday for my a-levels, chemistry was okay, prob got a grade b    art was boring just had to copy a sheet, today we has biology i done really well i probably got a  grade a   i think
i got my nipple peirced yesterday looks so cool lol

happy dieting everyone!!
lv emz xxx

11/2/07 03:17 am - [info]davybabyjones - still searching for a certain picture from a "thinspiration" site.

At *least* a year ago, I vividly recall seeing a "thinspo" (gag me) picture for which I've been searching for madly for the past three months.

It depicts a reasonably emaciated model on one side of a table of muffins/pastry things, and an attractively "healthy-thin" woman on the other, holding one of said sweet things inches from the other girls face, teasingly.

If you've seen it, you'd almost certainly remember. It was striking to say the least (.. and I'm not one to invest time in such frivolity on a regular basis.)

Does this ring a bell for anyone? Perhaps? I do so hope.. I seek it to add to a collage. It would be the metaphorical icing on my imaginary cake.

-Alex
Current Mood: hopeful
 

10/25/07 06:42 pm - [info]prettyisdead - plateau (still 95)

I got the idea of purging..
I just cant seem to get past spitting up.
What is the next step? 
This is big for me, I havent puked since I was like 11, and I had a stomach flu.
I need some advice !
Current Mood: bloated

10/22/07 01:19 pm - [info]fattyemz

 hey, havent written in a while but havent been up to much. just the food thing isnt too good, i dont have the will power to resist food. i even said i will try harder but nope, that failed. but hopefully ill think about it more like i did a couple of weeks ago and itll be better.
my friends have been good lately everything is back to normal now which is good. went to a party last nite it was so crap, it would be good if your drunk or high but i wasnt so i had a poo time coz there wasnt enough drink for me :( and i had no money to buy some.
I got a tattoo  looks well cool, been wanting one for ages and finally got one lol
i so badly want to cut down, but my belly hurts for drinkin too much the other nite, got fucked out of me head lol it was funny though lol

lv emz xx
Current Mood: annoyed

10/10/07 05:32 pm - [info]fattyemz

 even more depressed than yesterday, 

my "friends" are no longer. one i thought was alright with me tore my poster down and put my work and the ripped up paper onto another table  in my area of our art studio at school so tomorrow im just going to advoid them as much as i can. this morning i got shouted at by my physics teacher as i didnt go to physics yesterday because i hate the teacher so much. This may sound lame and childish but i cried , cried hard. because i was so upset i that my friends have turned against me eventhough i have done nothing wrong to them, have no idea. i even cried in front of my dad and i absolutely hate cryin in front of people.  i need friends and support.
and by the way my diet was good today, had 1 toast with jam, small green salad, fish and rice pudding.  so thats not too bad at least.
Current Mood: sad

10/9/07 04:56 pm - [info]fattyemz

hey,
the past week has been really bad as you could probably tell by my blogs if uve read some of them but im now more determined than ever as i look to you lot as inspiration. If you lot can eat about 250 cals a day then so can i!!  lol  some abit weird but yea....
My friends still being nasty to me :(  i have like 1 real friend thats in my school i have some friends outside school, but its still upsetting because everytime i try talking to them they reply back in a sarcastic way and it gets me so down i really do hate being me sometimes, consider yourselves lucky most of you that you have good friends to talk to.

lv emz xxx 
Current Mood: lonely
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