| Tissues impregnated with cosmetic lotions |
[12 Dec 2012|12:11pm] |
Could someone please just tell me what happened?
I mean, first we pay for fast-food that will make us all fat and tired.
So then we pay for elevators, so we won't have to climb the three stairs up to our apartments.
Then we buy freaking stairmaster™ machines
So we can burn away while watching someone make real food on TV.
Now, if that doesn't make us winners I don't know what will.
I bet we would hang ourselves if the world would just cut the slack.
And now you think maybe you should see a shrink,
Help you feel alive again - yeah, that's a plan!
Just tell us who to pay.
"See, it's really all about time and choice.
The fast food saves us enough time to squeeze lunch in exactly when we want it.
The elevators save us just a little more, the StairMaster™ lets us choose exactly when to walk the stairs.
Time is so important these days, it's becoming a fucking disease, and I guess in a way it is since it's bound to kill us all in the end.
Now with all the time and money we stash away on others' expense,
I can only assume that the tickets to hell are really expensive.
For some reason, it's important to be first in line."
Someone sells us God™ in 2-for-1 with Shame™
Someone sells us War™ and the marketing looks just the same
Someone sells us Fear™ on TV each day
a shape for every taste; if the flavour's right, we gladly pay
All on sale,
We're all on sale,
Welcome to the only Earth™
Please enjoy your only birth
You will learn to take more than you give
Buying scars you must live with
Someone sold us every scar
They somehow made us what we are
We all want that spot at 6 PM
But no one is really listening
No - not anymore
We're all too busy buying Sex™, buying War™
Buying Self-confidence™, Security™, Insurance Plans™
Just buying More & More™
As you're tearing down our world
Please just try to do it gently
There's still love inside
For the dream that has to die
|
|
| I'm famous on facebook! Practically |
[05 Oct 2008|09:04pm] |
So the other day I drew all these little artsy things on the mist in the bus shelter, and now I'm famous on facebook because of it.
Iiiiiiiinteresting.
It wasn't anything deep either, just pain in pain (bread being stabbed), and I wrote NICELY! under the FUCK U! that someone else wrote, and I drew a face under some water drips, but then it looked like it was bleeding so i covered up the water with hair but then it looked liek cheesestrings so i wrote a caption: CHEESE STRINGS IN D MINOR
Oh and I drew a balloon, with the caption: I AM THE BALLOON OF HAPPINESS, RUB ME FOR GOOD LUCK and everyone in the shelter went over to rub it and it was cute.
and then this couple was trying to explain where they were going to each other and I told them to draw a map on the mist (liek, the condensation on the glass?) and they did and I wrote "this is a visual aid!" on it and they lulzed and took pictures of it.
That's all I remember actually, I was pretty drunk off of school at the time.
Here's the image in question that's been floating around facebook.
They're calling me an artist.
HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAa.
EDIT: hey you can see the "CK U nicely!" on the bottom left of that picture. Above the no smoking bar? It's all comign back to me now, I think I drew stuff on the entire wall of that shelter.
Oh by the way, marc, markrow, erica, and whoever else I was suppsoed to see this with:
DEADGIRL TRAILER IS UP. Apparently' it's supposed to be funny.
|
|
|
[30 Sep 2008|12:24pm] |
From the almighty cracked.com:
If you're on the internet, which you are, by the way, you've probably got a profile on Facebook, Twitter, MySpace, LiveJournal, Craigs List or all of the above, enjoying the company of hundreds of friends who you know will never ask to borrow your car.
Unfortunately, people from your past are looking for you. People you had hoped would stay forgotten. And your internet listing has made it very easy for them to find you.
They are...
#10.The Traveller
What They'll Say:
Hi there! Long time no see! Just over here in Liverpool and killing time before the Premier League match - downing a few pints, you know? - and spotted you on the internet. I might have found you earlier, but there's no internet in South America (at least, not worth using ;) and the net cafes were too expensive in Japan.
I'm moving around a fair bit at the moment, so here's a link to my travel blog so you can keep track of where I am. Be sure to take a look at the pics I took while trekking in Nepal. It's an amazing place. Have you been? How's it going? Drop us a line.
What They'll Really Mean:
Look at how many countries I've been to. I'm better than you.
#9.The Mother
What They'll Say:
Hey thar sweetie! Howz it going? Who'd you end up marrying? (pix pls :P) I know you and Rach didn't make it but we can't all marry our childhood sweethearts. I'd luv to here from u! Who's the kid you ask? This is Emily (Em). She's only 14 months old and turning into a bit of a princess. Go to my profile and you can see my other bubbies.
Tony's four now. Little guy wants to be a painter, like his dad. The other girl is Lisa. Popped out two weeks ago. A lil premature but she's healthy and that's all that matters. I love them all to death. Adorable, aren't they? How are you?
What They'll Really Mean:
Utilizing the natural ability to breed is my achievement. I'm better than you.
#8.The Ex
What They'll Say:
Wow... how weird is this internet thing? I was just checking out the friends of all my old school friends and found you. Do you remember me? If not − hi there! Hope you're having a wonderful life with lots of fun and money. I ended up moving out of town. I finished college and am now doing well for myself (better than I thought, actually). That's my partner in my picture. We're about to go to Nepal (don't worry, I'll be posting pictures). What are you up to these days? It would be great to hear from you.
What They'll Really Mean:
You rejected me but I recovered and became someone. I'm better than you.
#7.Never Moved on from High School
What They'll Say:
Hi all!
This is just an update for everybody about the reunion. I'm still waiting for a few people to get back to me about when the best time is, but it's looking like it'll be held between Jan and June.
I've found a few more people from class and added them to the list. If this is the first time you've received one of these emails, some of us who are still in the old neighbourhood will be hiring out the gymnasium at the high school for a get together.
Please let me know when you can make it back to town.
Thanks!
Jools
Reunion committee president
What They'll Really Mean:
Remember how I was popular in high school? I'm better than you.
#6.Thinks They Moved on from High School
What They'll Say:
Is this who I think it is? I hope so or I might look a bit crazy. I can assure you I'm not though. You might remember me. I wasn't really 'known' at high school. I kept to myself. Surely you remember when I played − or tried to play − the Guns N Roses medley on the piano for the talent quest? Yeah that was me.
I didn't miss that place when I went to college. Met a nice girl really quickly and I'm still with her. These days I'm managing a small but loyal team for a software company. I'm not bitter about high school though. Some good memories. How are you anyway?
What They'll Really Mean:
I was rejected at high school but I've found a place where I'm accepted. I'm better than you.
#5.The Bearer of Bad News
What They'll Say:
Dear all.
It's with deep regret that I must inform you that our friend from high school, Gordon Porgle, was involved in a car accident.
You may remember Gordon as the quiet person who would spend his time in the library rather than waste his time with us outside. One of my favorite memories of Gordon was that time at the school talent quest when he played GnR on the classical piano. It was hilarious.
He is in intensive care, but is expected to make a full recovery. I will be sending a card soon. If you would like your name to be included, please let me know.
What They'll Really Mean:
I've atoned for being an asshole at high school by caring about the uncool kid. I'm better than you.
#4.Your Best Friend...Once
What They'll Say:
Hey hey! Look who it is!!! What are you doing these days? Still crazy? I'm not going out like I used to, but I guess that's just part of getting older and putting on the old ball-and-chain (but I call her my fiance). Once married, we're going to put most of our money into a crepe business down at the local mall. It should make enough money to get by and give Naomi some work to do from home when we have kids. It's sad that we'll soon be settled down, isn't it? haha!
How you doing?
What They'll Really Mean:
I'm trying to put my youth into perspective before I settle down and I think you can give me closure. I'm better than you.
#3.The Condescending Asshole
What They'll Say:
Hey champ!
Long time no see! What are you up to? Have you moved on from that job you hate yet? Man I would hate working in that sort of business, but I'm sure something will come up soon.
The business that Tony and I started is going well. If you ever want to get into investments and start to play with the big boys give me a bell. I know several stocks that are a sure bet for low capital investors. In the meantime, if anybody you know needs investment advice, send them through to my website, won't you?
What They'll Really Mean:
I want you to tell people about my business so I can make more money. I'm better than you.
#2.The Nutjob
What They'll Say:
Good friend from a yesteryear passing.
I was, simply running my tired eyes over the complexities of human existence in the electronic age − fashion, dot-coms, recipe indexes − when I stumble across the musings of a brother from the past. It is with great pleasure that I share the love of God with you and offer you my shankra. The sublime Lord has allowed love of humans to spread as energy, which is why He/She (?) allowed the Network of Hope to be created. I am floating an egg for you and hope you will share with me your comings and goings; toings and frowings; wins and deaths, so we shall once again share.
What They'll Really Mean:
How are you? I'd really like to hear from you because you're a great person.
#1.Who is this Guy?
What They'll Say:
Dear old friend!
How great it is to find you here! The old train carriage; the basketball game with no basketball; the runaway cheesecake − it's all coming back to me now! If only we could live these days again. Haha!
Are you on WOW? Come and join my guild (level 50s or over). If not, get in touch and let me know when you're back in town! How have you been?
What They'll Really Mean:
I'm better than you.
|
|
| Mirthday :D |
[28 Sep 2008|08:05pm] |
| [ |
music |
| |
prodigy_spitfyre |
] |
So I gave my boyfriend a Cow-themed calendar (cowlendar?) in january since he was moving away to school, and I wrote little messages on random days. So on my birthday (friday), I wrote "Did you hug your Jackit?"
So the morning of he piled a bunch of sweaters on top of me while I was still asleep and gave me a big hug. It was funny and sweet. Cause you know, Jackets?
I also want to thank Glenn the Atheist who went out of his way to walk me to Union Station from St. George, because of that retardedness that happened thursday afternoon where it took an hour and a half to get from downsview to union.
I should also thank the gym teacher I sat next to on the train who encouraged me to get a veggie platter instead of chips.
Also I am a pirate:
|
|
| THERE IS NO GOD |
[25 Sep 2008|11:49am] |
Yonge Street is fucked.
Also, it looks like York Youniversity's contract with Coca Cola expired this year.
Is God willing to prevent evil, but not able?
Then he is not omnipotent.
Is he able, but not willing?
Then he is malevolent.
Is he both able and willing?
Then whence cometh evil?
Is he neither able nor willing?
Then why call him God?
-Good old Epicurus.
Since everyone's probably heard that one already, here's a lulzier one:
To say Atheism is a faith is like saying not collecting stamps is a hobby. Or bald is a hair color.
-Annoymous (I know what I said)
Also, God has a message for you here:
"Nietzsche is dead. HEHEHEHE."
|
|
| WHY? |
[24 Sep 2008|05:56pm] |
http://www.wsoctv.com/news/17539538/detail.html
Read it and weep.
Guh, Dita Von Teese designed a line of lingerie for Wonderbra, and it's only available in Europe >:0
What, us Camericans arent classy enough?
This is my new favorite quote:
“I contend that we are both atheists. I just believe in one fewer god than you do. When you understand why you dismiss all the other possible gods, you will understand why I dismiss yours.” - Stephen Roberts
I am leaving for Ottawa tomorrow afternoon :) Also my birthday is on Friday. If you forget, I will hit you later, mkay?
|
|
| Watching Lectures. |
[22 Sep 2008|09:38am] |
steev-- says: again i think you would love computer science cuz you have the perfect personality for it, and i honestly think i could get you to like it!! cuz you have to use kittie brackets { <= its a kitty cuz it is a vibrating bracket steev-- says: and you have to use pac man and mrs pac man < > (nom nom nom nom)
|
|
| www.daisyowl.com/ |
[20 Sep 2008|07:56pm] |
Yay.
Also I want to buy myself this phone for my bird day:
Because getting older means you should open yourself to more consumer whoring!
|
|
| Peep. Also, 10 reasons it would rule to date a unicorn. |
[19 Sep 2008|06:54pm] |
The rules:
1. Take a picture of yourself right now.
2. Don't change your clothes, don't fix your hair...just take a picture.
3. Post that picture with NO editing.
4. Post these instructions with your picture.
( jeep )
|
|
| You know what? |
[19 Sep 2008|02:39am] |
That Flanders' Fields poem isnt nearly as deep as everyone pretends it is.
Also, there's nothing fucking logical about my logic course >:0
Lastly, having siblings who wander downstairs in the middle of the night while youre finishing your online course work to make chicken nuggets is AWESOME. Honey mustard sauce tastes MUCH better at 3 am.
|
|
| The Rules of Life are as follows: |
[13 Sep 2008|10:51pm] |
1. All girls are sluts.
2. All guys are assholes.
3. Friends dont let friends fall in teenage love with Sluts or Assholes or, through inaction, allow a fellow Slut or Asshole something something RAINBLOW BLITZ! something something except where such orders would conflict with the First and Second Law.
4. Life's not fair and neither is Snow White
5. Money makes the world go around
6. Lack of sleep makes everything you do sloppy (-er)
I think that's all.
That damn hurricane esque weather is making everyone stupider and more Annoymous.
Also, what's with old religious people and calling people who are less than 30 years of age "Kiddo?"
Stop it. It's awkward in retrospect.
|
|
| Smells Like Teen Spritzers, also, philosophy notes. |
[11 Sep 2008|09:51pm] |
So now that my parents are practically celebrities on the "Chinese-Canadians of Northern Toronto" scene, theyve been recieving a cornocopia of mooncakes. This has been going on for like a month and I ate a piece today, and my brother saw me do it so he showed me his secret stash of sweets that was in this cupboard we never use. Theyre these snacks that are like a combination of candy and crackers, I used to eat them when I was really little. They came in these little paper sleeves and they were soft and powdery and crunchyish, it's hard to explain, but anyways my brother had these but in GIANT SIZE!
BTW moon cakes are these things that Chinese people eat during th emid autumn festival.
So eating those was quite nostalgic.
Some people wonder what us philosophy majors do, so here is a "brief" sample of the notes I took today in my classes, Freedom/Determinism/Responsibility, and my Intro To Ethics class that has that sexy teacher. *giggles in stereotypical roman-catholic schoolgirl fashion* ( TL; )
We also have happy fun story time!
Emperor Marcus Aurelius was a Stoic philosopher committed to
a fatalistic atomistic theory. He had a slave, Epictetus, also a famous
Stoic. One day Epictetus broke an expensive vase and the Emperor
began beating him. Epictetus turned to his master: "why do you beat
me", he asked, "by the philosophy we both believe in it was
predetermined from all time that I should break this vase?" Marcus
Aurelius is said to have replied: "By that same philosophy, it was
predetermined from the beginning of all time that I should beat you"
and continued beating him.
Rational principle governing the universe – TELEOLOGICAL END DIRECTED/PURPOSE
FATALISM in basic form believes that some entity with some conscious intent PLANS EVERYTHING.
There was a merchant in Bagdad who sent his servant to market to buy provisions and in a little while the servant came back, white and trembling, and said: "Master, just now when I was in the market place I was jostled by a woman in the 'crowd and when I turned I saw it was Death that jostled me. She looked at me and made a threatening gesture; now, lend me your horse, and I will ride away from this city and avoid my fate. I will go to Samarra and there Death will not find me." The merchant lent him his horse, and the servant mounted it, and he dug his spurs in its flanks and as fast as the horse could gallop he went. Then the merchant went down to the market place and he saw Death standing in the crowd and he went to Death and said: "Why did you make a threatening gesture to my servant when you saw him this morning?" "That was not a threatening gesture," Death said, "It was only a start of surprise. I was astonished to see him in Bagdad, for I had an appointment with him tonight in Samarra."
( DR. )
OMG. I Kant take any more of this.
|
|
| All the freaks come out at night. |
[09 Sep 2008|11:41pm] |
So me and gHeather and our good friends William-Sherwin Gary and Jan Alvin were at tacobell/kfc just now having a feast and this dude sitting across from us started kinda chatting with us (mostly about how he was smoking up and got hungry and now he's having the best corn on a cob EVER.)
Later he asked if us kids wanted some "mary jane" and we politely declined (if I do say so myself)
And then as he was leaving he dropped off a fat ball of the stuff and said YOU KIDS HAVE FUN NOW :)
It was funny and awkward.
|
|
| Cut myself on angel's hair and baby's breath |
[04 Sep 2008|12:10am] |
| [ |
music |
| |
heart shaped box _ nirvana |
] |
A little girl had been shopping with her Mum in Target. She must have been 6 years old, this beautiful red haired, freckle faced image of innocence. It was pouring outside. The kind of rain that gushes over the top of rain gutters, so much in a hurry to hit the earth it has no time to flow down the spout. We all stood there under the awning and just inside the door of the Target.
We waited, some patiently, others irritated because nature messed up their hurried day. I am always mesmerized by rainfall. I got lost in the sound and sight of the heavens washing away the dirt and dust of the world. Memories of running, splashing so carefree as a child came pouring in as a welcome reprieve from the worries of my day.
The little voice was so sweet as it broke the hypnotic trance we were all caught in 'Mum let's run through the rain,' she said.
'What?' Mum asked.
'Lets run through the rain!' She repeated.
'No, honey. We'll wait until it slows down a bit,' Mum replied.
This young child waited about another minute and repeated: 'Mum, let's run through the rain.'
'We'll get soaked if we do,' Mum said.
'No, we won't, Mum. That's not what you said this morning,' the young girl said as she tugged at her Mum's arm.
'This morning? When did I say we could run through the rain and not get wet?'
'Don't you remember? When you were talking to Daddy about his cancer, you said, 'If God can get us through this, he can get us through anything!'
The entire crowd stopped dead silent. I swear you couldn't hear anything but the rain.. We all stood silently. No one came or left in the next few minutes.
Mum paused and thought for a moment about what she would say. Now some would laugh it off and scold her for being silly. Some might even ignore what was said. But this was a moment of affirmation in a young child's life. A time when innocent trust can be nurtured so that it will bloom into faith.
'Honey, you are absolutely right. Let's run through the rain. If GOD let's us get wet, well maybe we just needed washing,' Mum said.
Then off they ran. We all stood watching, smiling and laughing as they darted past the cars and yes, through the puddles. They held their shopping bags over their heads just in case. They got soaked. But they were followed by a few who screamed and laughed like children all the way to their cars.
And yes, I did. I ran. I got wet. I needed washing.
I feel like these are your last days on earth.
So I really started believing in God again.
Because it's just too hard to believe that this is the absolute end.
Because if you're gone forever,
Someday I will too.
But there's something out there - there has to be - because nobody ever told me to believe in it, but I still know it's true.
I don't want him to be alone in death.
In a week, in a month, or in a thousand years... what would it matter if you never existed. All the universe is a stage,
And all the men and women merely players:
They have their exits and their entrances;
And one man in his time plays many parts,
His acts being seven ages.
So surely someone is watching.
|
|
| POOP ON YOU, INTERNETS MACHINE!! |
[03 Sep 2008|12:10am] |
WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO FACEBOOK?
IT's ALL... UGLY
And everyone is pregnant all of a sudden.
Also, today, there was this bigass spider consuming a large moth on my front yard. The spider was like 2 inches big, its web was all over the front of my porch. My brother tossed a small piece of wood at the web, and the spider freaking CHARGED at it.
I wanted to take pictures but by the time I found a camera he disappeared, along with the huge moth he was eating.
So that was kind of cool, like my new background and.or colour theme! Because before it was all:
And now it's all... well, just go on my journal to find out. What are you, some sort of sloth enthusiast?
|
|
| Today was gonna be the day that they're gonna throw it back to you |
[02 Sep 2008|08:29am] |
There was a sculpture in the center of the town of Chernobyl,
it was moved to the nuclear power plant after the accident.
It is Prometheus stealing fire from the Gods and giving it to the humans.
On that note, check out the first warhammer 40K model that I completed! It's a Daemonhunter Cherub who is part of the HQ's retinue:
( more pictures and far more information that 5% of you will understand and 0.04% of you will care about )
Also, my cousin came to visit today with his roommate from Japan. They're both exchange students. His friend was so polite, and REALLY japanese. He did the little bow thing before he drank his soup and insisted that ladies should go first and we chatted about pokemon and anime and sushi and sliding paper doors and other lulzily stereotypical things in the restaurant. It was pretty cool. Because I've never met a real live Japanese person before. His English was unbelievably good considering he had only started learning it 6 months ago. Which made me feel quite a bit dumb that I only know three and a half languages.
S'yeah. Tell me stories.
|
|
| One day. |
[31 Aug 2008|08:38pm] |
| [ |
music |
| |
radiohead_eep. |
] |
The government provides "sleep systems" to the poor working class, that dream for you. Of course, big companies pay to monopolize the sleep time with personalized advertisements. But it's okay, because in the future intellect is a taboo, and no one wants to admit they have their own dreams, and seeing the latest bed-ad was a real status symbol.
The following generation would wake every morning dreamless, restless. Never able to relax without having an instinctive urge to consume, consume, consume.
"But loyal fans hold out for the official box set. If you're new to this human thing called "capitalism", corporations interpret "loyalty" the way a prisoner might interpret "dropping the soap"."
The world is on your tongue, cause you're nothing but another stomach to fill.
"you can "dig a trench through a landfill and you will see layers of phone books like geographical strata or layers of cake"
And no imagination, imagination is what they pay you to think.
I don't care if it hurts
I want to have control
I want a perfect body
I want a perfect soul
I want you to notice
When I'm not around
You're so fucking special,
I wish I was special
You know what bruises easily?
Skinny legs.
Poor Jason. He didnt pass his black belt judo test. So he's all sad and wouldnt come down for dinner and I brought him a peach, hoping to make him feel better. I don't think it worked.
I wish I knew how to love people
Without seeming like I want something in return.
|
|
| Have you... |
[28 Aug 2008|11:30pm] |
...ever hated a person so much that their mere presence makes you stop believing in God?
Because if God is benevolent he would smite that fucker out of existence. He still won't go the fuck away, therefore God must be malevolent.
If God is omnipotent he would have done it by now. But he hasn't therefore he can't create a rock so heavy that he himself cannot lift it.
I EVEN INVOKED THE EPICUREAN DILEMMA IN AN ATTEMPT TO RATIONALIZE MY ANGER. DEAR PERSON WHO I KNOW WILL EVENTUALLY READ THIS: GO CRAWL INTO A HOLE AND DIE ALREADY. You pansy.
When you fold a thousand cranes, they will come to life and take your problems away, farther
|
|
| School and other Septembery goodness. |
[27 Aug 2008|01:18am] |
I have to go school shopping soon, is anyone interested in bouncing around, snatching 1 & 1/2 inch binders with me? It's kind of a wierd feeling, anticipating going back to school, sitting around at the Absinthe during afternoons, becoming best friends with the people you sit beside in the first week of classes. Never having enough time and all that jazz. Vending machine prices. Activists ranting in Vari Hall. And the noise, the endless buzz of being busy.
Josh, Ericabunny, Markrow. Hopefully I'll run into you guys. Yeah, best of all is a bunch of my childhood friends are coming into town for school.
But anyway, you're invited to the party in my tummy:
|
|
| Recently. |
[17 Aug 2008|07:04pm] |
It's my boyfriend's birthday soon, and therefore my birthday a month later! Which is September the 26th, by the way, in case anyone wants to burprise me. Burprise? You know what I meant.
So on Friday my Gramper went in for cancer-removing surgery. He's still in recovery but he's been doing really well. I kind of want to buy a load of flowers and put them all over his cubicle while he's asleep. Except I did that already. His room-mate thing is a grumpy old bastard who constantly complains that my grampa has too much fun.
The other sick person in my family is doing ok too.
And then yesterday I saw laurestter n' company and that's always a good thing.
Today I bought myself a 10 gallon fish tank, that came with a filter. Also bought a 50 watt heater that I need to exchange for a larger size. I'll be buying myself some frogs as a reward for thoroughly cleaning my room. Within the month, I'm planning. Theyre so cute when they swim around, the frogs go all a wiggle and a jiggle and an all over tan.
Work is looking much better, mostly because Annie is on vacation and no one else at work bitches quite like her. I'm back on the A-TEAM! And by that I mean I'm starting work at 7:30 tomorrow. Hooray for being second person in and therefore cut earlier and having less duties.
And now my dad wants to buy me a condo...?
So yeah, life in general is looking up. It's true, when you hit rock bottom there's no way to go but up. But I didnt even sink that low to begin with. I think.
Except for schooling. The next nine months are going to be heck, and I'm not even pregnant (It's a facebook group)
You know what I feel like buying? Some high-waisted skirts.
Beepity Jeep.
|
|
| navigation |
| [ |
viewing |
| |
most recent entries |
] |
| [ |
go |
| |
earlier |
] |
|
|
|
|