It is a beautiful Fall morning, the air is crisp and you have the top down on the car. Life is good, besides Beltway traffic, you are having a great morning. Just coming off a successful weekend with Ranger Rick, in fact he is tucked in his travel case in the backseat. He is HUGE so, well you can't really see out the back, but you got mirrors right?

You hit the toll road and just punch the gas a little more, since the day is pretty and you are super happy. You just want to get to work a wee bit early to return Ranger Rick to his caretaker and get to your 10am meeting with coffee. You hear that there is a special surprise waiting for you, so the urgency is all the more intense. In the pretty sunshine, with the wheel of a little sporty machine in your hands, 83 miles an hour feels like nothing.


Finally, it was over.

Well until October 25 that is, when I have to go before a judge in Virginia to talk about my reckless driving. I think between now and then, I will have some more info to share with him...maybe in a countersuit since the out of jurisdiction cop, who only has authority on the access road and the airport took it upon himself to teach me a lesson!

Oh and the surprise, a $2000 bonus from work! That would have been a nice dent in the kitchen remodel, but alas, it all went for my lawless ways.

I share my little find with my fellow insomniacs and for the rest of you when you are awake...

Openly Gay Celebrities

More Openly Gay Celebrities

When It Was Out To Be Out

C'mon sleep...you can do it...

I am spending my week tucked away into a DC hotel at a professional conference. What is it that I really do, do you ever wonder? I mean some of you know, but do you really know? I say what is easily understood for the most part, but what I really do, even when so clearly articulated usually brings an expression to someone's face that resembles what I would assume you would look like if you had just had a total conversation with someone who spoke to you in a tribal clicking language. Wow, what a run-on sentence huh? I am sure that made it all much clearer for you, dear reader.

I am at UX Week. So I have been spending my days with like minded people, so I have had some amazing conversations. Typically, folks in my field of practice are naturally curious and tenacious problem solvers. We extract clarity from chaos.

A fellow attendee was explaining it and said, I ask people if I gave you a shoestring, that was completely knotted up, what would you do? She says that the responses vary. Some say, I would throw it away and get a new shoestring. Others, well, I would cut the knot out and mend the ends together. Others, well I would try to unknot it and see if it was simple enough, then I would continue, if not, I would just toss it. Someone like me, an information architect who approaches with a user centered design mind, says I would unknot it, and restore its usefulness. But first, I would complete my due diligence and ask questions like, was it altered in a way that would render it useless, meaning was it melted or stitched or fused in such a way that the exercise is futile. If the research told me no, it was simply knotted using a variety of knots I would dig in. That is what I do, that is what I find professionally fulfilling. Oh, and I would also teach someone else what it was I was doing, thereby sharing the knowledge and increasing my collaborative problem solving knowledge base.

For the most part, I approach work and life in much the same way. I research, I ponder, I study, I learn and then I act. I believe in purposeful action. I believe in strategy and collaboration.

In a more personal and intimate way though, I feel as if I am holding several knotted up strings. I must now do my careful research and ask questions about the state of the string. How it came to be in knots is not the crux, it has bearing, but it does not change the current state. Do I want to know the answers to these questions? I must analyze and assess the value in putting in the work or simply getting some new string or doing without the string. Is there really a solution that will come from that analysis?

Maybe life and love and happiness and healing is not so simple as all this. Maybe I cannot approach this as a problem that needs to be solved. Maybe I can. Maybe I don't want to. It goes back to that value proposition for me, the one that sometimes reads as selfish, but really could just as easily be called self interest. Same coin, two sides. But the bottom line is always the same, what will be the outcome and who will it benefit?

In my professional world, I have an expectation that I will be presented with knotted strings on a regular basis, that is why I do what I do. In my private world, I am usually content to not have knots, loose ends or any strings that could entangle me in a way I do not desire.

How would you approach the knot?

Wow, has it really been since May that I posted? Holy crap that is a long time.


And for now, off into the world I go!

I would just like to make a small announcement...

irregularjoe just called with some news...

He passed the fucking bar!

Three cheers for him!

Oh hell yeah, I am out of this office soon and on my way to Baltimore to celebrate!

My School House Rock t-shirt and my sneaks round out the outfit of the day. Getting ready to fire up my princess, throw her top down and head out into the glorious sunshine!

Got an invite to go to a Nats game today, so I offered to drive us all, since the buddy I am going with is providing tickets and the parking pass. They are playing the Mets, we have good seats and are not covered, so yeehaw to the farmer's tan!

If this is what having a life means, and not working all the bloody time, then bring it on, I say!

Active. Passive. React. Respond. Accept. Resist.

So many words just floating through my head tonight. So much to reflect on. I love moments like these.

I have felt passive of late. I have felt active in being passive. I sought a job. I got a job. I got my job by posting my resume on a job board. Someone else sought me out. I was found. I was active in responding to the seeker. I was active in marketing myself during interviews. I was passive in allowing the right outcome to happen.

I have come to a place of acceptance. I stopped holding on to people, love, things and ideas. I let them all go. Some are long gone. Some I tossed away willingly. Some may come back to me. Some I may never know the outcome.

I chose to stop resisting changes around me. I chose to see them and accept them and let go of what was not mine. I chose to respond to my life and not react to others.

I have let things come to me as they will. I have opened my eyes, my heart and my mind to new ideas, new people and new paths. They have come.

I gave up the resistance and the fight and the struggle and my will.

I recognized and accepted and surrendered to a power much great than my own.

I actively became passive and allowed the path to unfold before me.

What a wonderful journey this is.

Happiest birthday wishes go out to my birthday brother, gryphons_hole!

It is rare in life you meet someone so special, who actually gets being a Taurus and all that means...but to meet one that shares your actual birthday...that is incredibly special.

I wish you a great day of celebration, my friend!

That is right folks, it is off to work I go!

I am typing this right fast as I head out to work now for my very first day as the project manager with my new company. I am going to be officemates with Ranger Rick. So, for those in the know, it will be immediately clear where I work...the rest will just have to Google my little clue.

I have been off for six solid weeks, it has been like heaven. Mostly, except you don't have money, but I had time and rest and friendship and a much needed rest. Maybe soon, I will post something about my recent adventures, but for now, as I leave for my first day of work, I leave you all a question...

What do you do for work? What is your job title? What do you do everyday? Do you commute? Do you like it? How long have you done it? How did you get started in this field? I just wanna know what other people on my friends list do for a living!

I swiped this idea from bigfundrew, I found his post like this fascinating!

Today, I needed to go to Homo Depot. I stopped on my way back from Charm City. I was wearing a rugby shirt, sneakers and plaid pj pants. So what? You wanna make something of it?



Now I say, rest in peace my little drain snake. We only knew one another for an afternoon. But you served me well.

I shall return soon with a real live update on my life, as I am sure a few of you noticed, I hadn't done in a month or so.

So much to tell...but now, I must scrub my tub and take a much earned shower!

So since I got muscle and but not money...I am laying my own floor today. I am moving right along in the den, it looks terrific.

Will need some help for sure in the living room, since moving furniture alone is kinda hard. 

Ahhh, maybe I can get a digital camera in here soon enough to show off the new tile and floor...

Oh, and I should really show off my new rockstar hair...some call it hippie hair...but I think a pretty lady affirmed it for me when she said yeah, it is sexier when after you sleep on it! Get yer minds outta the gutter, that was the night I spent with some special peeps to drive them off to get hitched...

Anyway, back to swinging that rubber mallet and being on my hands and knees!

My mind is filled with thoughts so deep, I cannot begin to imagine they have a bottom at all...

"From lust comes grief, from lust comes fear; he who is free from lust neither sorrows nor fears."
--The Dhammapada

Yesterday, when I was packing up my desk, I got a call from a club brother. They just all got back from LUEY. I was a little brusk, since I was mired down in my own shit. He said, I just needed to you to know that our brother V is in intensive care. Hospice peeps are at his home now with his partner, preparing for him to come home. Another brother, J is going to ride with him today in the private ambulance that will take him home. To most likely, die peacefully on his farm with his Daddy by his side. I am planning to visit with him on Saturday morning. I know at this point, it is more about being there for his partner than anything. I have so many stories about him and the times we have spent in the Highwaymen together, maybe someday I will share them.

Last night, I met with the model I shot over the weekend. He was quite happy with the results and his partner was actually surprised at how there was really not  a bad one in the bunch. I was pleased to turn the disc over to him and have him walk away just a little bit taller, knowing he still hated having his picture taken, but maybe just maybe he thought, I look pretty hot. It is funny when you review a shoot with the models they are always like, I remember that pose, I felt so silly, but wow, it looks amazing. I always use my porn adage, remember when you fuck in private, you don't hold your hands that way, but you do for the camera! Trust me, it will feel weird, but looks really good.

Last night, I got treated to several wonderful gifts. I received a beautiful art glass heart, from a local artisan and a thoughtful card. It came from two wonderful leathermen who think that Dyke Night at the Eagle is just the coolest thing. Thanks Jimmy and Greg.

I also was the recipient of a plate of butch buddy bonding cupcakes, decorated with wry saying candy hearts. As if that was not enough, I got two Polo henleys and a fantastic yellow Polo cable knit v-neck sweater. I was overwhelmed with gratitude and couldn't really say much. But again, thanks not only for the gifties, but for your friendship which amazes me more and more all the time, trystoffateand redindigo!

I think I just might wear that sweater today, as I dutifully go in and help to wrap things up at my office.

Went to sleep at 11ish last night, or rather bed I guess I slept...hard to tell in a new surrounding.
Woke up at 4:30, on time and without prompting.
Had coffee and the most amazing blueberry muffins ever.
Drove a special couple to the airport, as they head off to get married in Hawaii.
Sent numerous text messages in support of my fella taking the bar exam today.
Talked to said fella, right before he went in.
Took a short nap.
Called in to the office.
Got dressed in my jeans, Cleveland sweatshirt, workboots and pink argyle socks, for luck.
Drove my ass to the best damned tile place in all of the area.
Bought my foyer tile, concrete and mocha grout.
Took myself to lunch at a fantastic Mexican place, that is the current champ of Cheap Eats awards.
Deposited straggly checks from bar, holidays and such...whopping $650 just sitting in my wallet.
Dropped off 10 rolls of film from photo shoot on Saturday.
Got myself an eye exam.
Discovered I have a pale optic nerve and sluggish eye.
Made follow up appointment with doc to do dilation and investigate further.
Ordered new lenses for 3 pair of older, yet stylish frames.
Ordered new prescription sunglasses, that make me look a lot like the Terminator.
Ordered new glasses, the fine framed floating lens kind...HAWT.
Found a random gift certificate in my wallet and applied it towards the glasses.
Talked to one super good at her job, Dyke Night promoter about the slide show I made and her outfit, of course.
Stocked up on good eats and much needed (and some not) supplies.
Excitedly chatted with a very relieved day one bar examined fella.
Picked up photo shoot picks, they rock.
Grabbed meds from pharmacy.
Snagged the dry cleaning.
Hauled in all the food, tile, concrete, grout and other stuff weighing my little car down.
Put everything away and tidied up a bit.

Now, I am whooped.