| Where did he go? |
[19 Jul 2004|12:06pm] |
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As someone pointed out, I'm not actively using this journal anymore. I am, however, keeping an active blog, located at http://tony.dowler.com/. Cheers!
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[19 Aug 2003|04:24pm] |
Interestingly, according to Trustflow, the following are my 50 closest non-friend friends. A few of these I recognize as well-connected friends of friends that I have either not met, or don't know by livejournal. Some are interests of mine, and a few are interests of friends of mine.
1: algeh, 2: bluegirls, 3: robotgirl, 4: morfydd, 5: obake, 6: of_the_woods, 7: bandtechiegeek, 8: freezepop4ever, 9: littledoe, 10: lizenthusiasm, 11: butterflydezi, 12: chaoticasylum, 13: chronozerom, 14: genocidechick, 15: jeshala, 16: mouseferatu, 17: ordinaryquest, 18: shadewhispers, 19: stateofinsanity, 20: sublimeruca, 21: threnodym, 22: g00n, 23: moonspun, 24: staxxy, 25: foxfyre, 26: ilya, 27: triplemare, 28: pamc, 29: curlwcat, 30: keridwen, 31: blatherbits, 32: saturnalia17, 33: syn_chath, 34: elizanikole, 35: ironcheffan, 36: kawaiinekogackt, 37: lawkon, 38: prisoner_950417, 39: nyarlethotep, 40: junglequeen88, 41: thegargoyle, 42: skarrin, 43: iqtheicequeen, 44: blackmanxy, 45: jait, 46: seattlegothic, 47: austingoddess, 48: roleplayers, 49: worldmaking, 50: drudanatia
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| Sad News |
[19 Aug 2003|02:47pm] |
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Some of you may have noticed my recent silence on Blog and Livejournal. The reason for this is that last friday my wife and I were called out to Maryland unexpectedly by some very bad news. My wife's brother Bart died in a vehicle accident. We've been out east spending time with family and mourning Bart. Those of you who met him knew what an amazing person he was. Your prayers and condolences are appreciated.
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| 4:40 AM |
[06 Jun 2003|08:51am] |
The world is beautiful at 4:40AM. The Sun is just rising. There is no sound to disturb the birds. A bus cruising up Union Street is a beautiful site.
In order to deal with the heat wave, Orkgrrrl and I have begun sleeping in our geust room in the basement, which means that when I need my 4AM snack, I have to go outside to come upstairs, which is actually quite pleasant. Then again, I'd rather dream about 4:40 AM than see it.
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[19 May 2003|10:39am] |
Having a baby in the house, I've had this feeling of continual amazement. No, that's not quite it. Totally out of control. Yes, that's how it feels.
It started in the labor room. There's something about seeing the person you love endure unimaginable pain that overrides all your control mechanisms and makes you fall back into the realm of miracles, prayers, and imponderables. At moments, when you're able to come up out of the fear for a moment, it's exhilarating, like being a boxer in the ring.
What am I saying? I don't know anything about boxing. It's more like rafting a river; a really big river full of class 5 rapids that gathers its waters way up north where it's still spring thaw. Bailing's out of the question, and you can't make any bargains. Your only hope is to ride it out and see what kind of calm spots there might be below the next drop.
Completely out of control, but really almost liking it.
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| The sweetest creature in the world... |
[17 May 2003|07:48pm] |
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| A new person |
[12 May 2003|02:17pm] |
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On Saturday, May 10, at 12:51 AM, after just over 24 hours of effort on the part of her parents, family, doula, and staff at Swedish Hospital, our baby daughter entered the world, a healthy baby of 9 lbs, 1 oz. The family is now at home resting. Thank you for the kind wishes and messages, all. Pictures to follow in the coming days.
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| Dreams |
[08 May 2003|08:10am] |
I had a very odd dream last night. We were exiled to a strange world.
The government supplied free healthcare and housing, but everywhere on the streets were black monoliths that sucked bits of lifeforce out of you as you passed.
At the grocery, you could pay full price for any item or you could pay slightly less to try and win the item by gambling. The rows in the supermarket were set up with slot machines, mini shooting ranges, and carnival contests. People were coming to the store with all their income and leaving with nothing.
There was one interstate highway, and it wound through the country, back and forth, visiting every town and city. If you become bored with you life, or wanted to move on for any reason, the government would pay all your relocation costs to the next vacancy down the line and start a new life in a place just like the one you left. Since people could escape the consequences of their actions, no one was conscientious of trustworthy. People who elected to stay in place and try to build a life were faced with a continual stream of troublemakers who never stuck around for more than a few weeks.
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| Walking |
[28 Apr 2003|11:45am] |
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I have been working at home a lot lately, for obvious reasons. This morning, Orkgrrrl and I were able to take a leisurely walk through the neighborhood. One woman was weeding the flower in front of her house. "It reminds me of when I had my first," she said, "we walked around the neighborhood for something like 10 hours when I went into labor."
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| A Moment |
[14 Apr 2003|04:25pm] |
It was one of those perfect moments that only comes around maybe once in years. It was the last dance of the year. Everyone was mellow with dancing and drink. They hadn't really intended to come. They had other plans, dressed up and flushed with an evening of wine and wherever. The DJ played 'Forever Young', and they danced. No one else danced with them. Beautiful and excruciating, they danced, they, two, and an expanse of hardwood floor in the second floor of the college library. I have never seen anything more perfect.
'Forever Young' just played on the radio, and I remembered.
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| A War |
[20 Mar 2003|11:15am] |
My Dad was in the Air Force. I remember when I was very small, Remembrance Day, my dad had his Air Force uniform out. I asked him what he did in the war. He showed me his badges and pins, which looked like medals to me.
My dad signed up to fight for Canada in WWII. He was a tail gunner in a bomber. He never flew a combat mission, but he would have if the war had gone on any longer. It sobers me to know that tail gunners did not typically survive even a single combat. That knowledge has always tempered by attitude toward war.
I greet war games with enthusiasm. I feel a great deal of respect for anyone willing to sacrifice their life in war. But war itself fills me with sorrow. I cannot feel any enthusiasm for it.
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| Rick Steves Strikes a Blow for Freedom |
[15 Feb 2003|09:31pm] |
I don't care for protests and marches. I tried a few when I was in college. We'd get up early in the morning and drive in vans to an undisclosed location in the Eastern USA where we'd stand on the street in front of certain establishments. Although I agreed with the cause and believedin the methods, I never felt the emotional rush other people seemed to help. The action didn't bring me closer to my ideals or clarify my ideas.
But today I went down, at my wife's urging, and marched from Seattle Center to the INS offices on the south side of downtown. Maybe it's because I'm an immigrant myself.
In Seattle, protests are more carnival than anything else. There were drums, dancers, and giant puppets. At one point I turned around to see Rick Steves marching surrounded by a small throng of fans. I can hardly turn on PBS without seeing Rick.
My feet are sore and my back is killing me and I have to get up and paint the kitchen tomorrow, but I'm glad I went.
And not just for Rick Steves.
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| Uncooling the war |
[11 Feb 2003|02:53pm] |
A few weeks ago, feng ran a one-shot session of the Godlike rpg set during the Battle of the Bulge. To get us in the mood for a gritty, deadly WWII rpg, we watched the closing battle scene of Saving Private Ryan. About 10 minutes into the session, we got into a firefight with an SS machinegun platoon. The fighting was fast and deadly, as war should be.
Part of the style of Godlike is the intent to create a somewhat real feeling of the horrors of war. We discovered this in no uncertain terms in the scene that followed next. My character was a Belgian captain, scarred by what the Nazis had done to his homeland. I had pretty much decided to play him as a gritty, merciless, end-justifies-the-means commanding officer. As such, I decided that my character would execute the prisoner and continue with the mission objectives. After all, he reasoned, a live prisoner could jeopardize the mission and allow the Nazi's to re-capture large parts of Belguim. I was not prepared, however, for what followed.
"OK, make a battle fatigue check."
"A battle fatigue check?"
"Yeah, to see if you can bring yourself to execute the prisoner."
"Uh... I failed."
"OK, you have a choice. You can choose to lose all your willpower (making my character essentially useless in battle) and be unable to bring yourself to pull off the deed, or you can lose all your will and just do it."
"Uh, I guess I just can't do it."
"OK. Everyone in the group sees Captain Lund point his pistol at the SS Officer's head. His hand shakes, and it's clear he's on the verge of firing. As sweat rolls down his forehead, he steps back and drops the gun. Everyone has to make battle fatigue checks to see if they can deal with the situation."
Godlike is an rpg set in a world where actions have psychological consequences. The game makes a stark distinction between fighting a war and committing murder, a distinction that both gaming and war tend to blur. It also introduces a mechanic whereby characters can quickly find themselves weakened as they are forced (or choose) to commit terrible acts in fighting for their country and their lives.
It's not the first time I've heard about RPG's that provoke thought and discussion about real issues, but it's the first time I've encountered the it first hand. It reminds me of a conversation I overheard once while playing Warhammer 40k. A kid of about 12 was playing a game with an adult at an adjacent table.
Kid: "Man, it would be so cool to be a Space Marine."
Adult: "Really? Have you ever counted how many of your Space Marines usually survive the battle?"
Kid: "Oh, I never really thought about it."
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| Space |
[04 Feb 2003|11:03am] |
Depressing thought for the day:
The space age was two ages ago.
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| Vatican OK's Harry Potter |
[03 Feb 2003|02:48pm] |
This just in from Salon
"The Vatican is giving two thumbs up to the Harry Potter series.
The good vs. evil plot lines of the best-selling books are imbued with Christian morals, the Rev. Don Peter Fleetwood told a Vatican news conference Monday. "
Some days I really like my church.
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| Grand Finale |
[03 Dec 2002|10:42am] |
Last night my 13 episode Pulp Heroes campaign came to its conclusion in a blood and guts battle in the secret Atlantean library concealed beneath the sphinx. The forces of evil, represented by the power-hungry Achmed and his cabal of mercenaries and undead minions, fought against the newly inducted champions of Ankhnaten. Achmed was consumed by his own ambition, and an ancient evil was almost unleashed upon an unsuspecting world. I nearly killed two PC's, but that's OK, there's always next year...
There were a couple of great scenes in the finale, including:
- Nick Timber weaving a freaking zeppelin between the searchlights of an undead AA battery
- Thomas Keefe seeing the dangling rope ladder just out of reach as the ammo dump begins to explode
- Mild mannered scientist Fenton Westinghouse turning into a sorcerous undead-smiting crusader
- Claire Tremont locking wills with the evil mystic and slowly crushing his mind...
- Achmed turning into a three-headed demonic monstrosity just when the party thought they'd won the day (heh heh)
And now the GM can rest...
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[02 Dec 2002|11:06am] |
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[26 Nov 2002|02:55pm] |
Today, unable to control myself, I bought this book from Taschen. It is beautiful.
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| Merchandising |
[22 Nov 2002|09:38am] |
A couple of Orkgrrrl's friends set up a Cafe Press shop after we sent them the sonogram picture. So without further ado, I present Peppercorn Baby Shop.
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[20 Nov 2002|04:22pm] |
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