Attention, Denizens of the Internet:

It has come to my attention that people are no longer using Lolspeak in an ironic manner. If you are attempting sincere communication, you are hereby advised to suspend the use of phrases such as "I can has" and other lolcatisms. There have been far too many posts around here lately that begin with "I can has", and it is rapidly losing teh funny. Be careful to use it when it's funny, and not as a crutch in your Internet writings.

Thank you.

I took the day off from work yesterday, because I could. The show was a repeat this week, and repeats make my workload a lot easier. And it was good timing, too, because I was able to sell my Prius!

I sold it to perruche_verte's friend, Cortland. It took most of the day for him to get his money together and deal with his bank. Meanwhile, I tried to save Hyrule from the Minons of Twilight. I also cleaned up the garage, dried the winter moisture off the floor of it, and I cleaned the interior of the Prius. Bean had a nasty habit of climbing on the back seat with her muddy boots, and kicking the seat in front of her. There was mud everywhere, but it came out pretty well with a little bit of carpet cleaner.

We paid off my loan, and I took the change in cash. Then I went to the DMV with Cort to transfer the title. It's a done deal, and I don't need to worry about him getting tickets, having accidents, or robbing liquor stores with my car. It's his car now, and he can do whatever he wants with it. He doesn't seem like the liquor-store-robbing type, but I guess you never know...

I went out to look at that 1985 Mazda RX-7 GSL-SE last night. And after a brief test drive, I bought it on the spot for $3750. Yes, I bought the very first car I looked at. But to be fair, I've looked at a lot of these cars over the years, and it seemed like a fair deal. There aren't very many GSL-SEs around, and this one is rust-free and in Very Good (not Excellent) condition. There are a couple of minor things wrong with it, like a cracked tail light cover, but there's a lot more that's right with it. It has a racing seat on the driver's side, and a custom steering wheel, racing shocks, struts and springs, new tires, a decent stereo that I may need to replace anyhow, and a pile of spare parts. Among the spare parts there is a very, very rare back seat that could be fitted. They only sold that part in Japan. I've never seen a first-generation RX-7 with a back seat. I did have an '88(?) RX7 GXL 2+2, which had a backseat fitted at the factory. But like most sports cars with backseats, it was suitable only for legless midgets. I have a feeling the one for this car would be the same way.

But enough of my blathering. On to the pictures!

( Look at my new car! It's shiny! )

So this week is the fifth anniversary of the Iraq War, and the best thing that people can think of to protest is the fact that LJ made a purely business decision to eliminate "Free" accounts with no ads? Am I the only one around here who thinks that there are a lot of drama llamas around here who don't have their priorities in order? If you already have a free account, it's not going to go away. Servers don't pay for their own upkeep, nor do free users generate revenue. If anything, LJ is losing money on freeloaders. I don't blame them for eliminating the "free" tier to new users. As the site grows and grows, it surely becomes untenable to offer millions of free accounts. If you don't like ads, pay for the service. The annual subscription is actually quite reasonable - it costs less than one tank of gas per year! I paid it for several years, and saw a lot of value in doing so. When they offered permanent accounts last year, I ponied up the $150. It's worth it to me. I've been on LJ since 2002, and I'm not going anywhere. Where else are you going to get lifetime webhosting for $150? It's crazy NOT to buy in at that price.

I've met a lot of wonderful people through this service, including my wife. I think it's fair to say that LJ has impacted my life for the better. It has provided me with support when I couldn't find it anywhere else, news and information faster than any other source, therapy when I needed therapy, entertainment - I can't even imagine my life right now without it. Where would I be? I'd be a friendless, depressive wreck; a mere shell of a man. But I'm not. I'm happy, well-adjusted, financially solvent, and secure, and I have LJ to thank for a lot of that. I'm much better off than I was when I joined.

As LJ has allowed me to grow and thrive, so must we allow LJ to grow and thrive. If you truly love and value this service, don't join the protest blackout tomorrow. Instead, blog about how LJ has transformed your life. Write about the friends you've made, the advice you've received, the feedback you've given. And if you haven't become a paid member, or if you need to renew, this is a good time to do it. It's true that LiveJournal isn't perfect. Who is? But LJ is also a company that is in business to make money. And it needs to make money in order to provide us with the service that we love. If that means that new users must endure targeted ads as they would on any other site, so be it. Once they discover the wonderful things about LJ that we already know, perhaps they'll login to the secure server and become paid users, too.

• The Washer & Dryer were delivered yesterday! So exciting! Now if only I can manage to hook up the gas dryer without blowing up the house. I am a bit nervous about that. I'll be careful, but it still makes me nervous. I put all the gas line parts together last night, but I still need a nipple. I wonder if plumbers make endless nipple jokes? I would. I need a nipple that changes 3/8" up to 1/2". Then I can put it all together and see if anything leaks. We might be up and running tonight. Or we might be in a hotel while the Minneapolis Fire Department extinguishes the embers of my failure. Whatever.



• I'm sick of people complaing about the people complaining about the weather. It's cold. We know you know that we know it's cold. We're going to keep telling you anyway, in case you've forgotten. It's cold enough that:

1. If you pee outside, it'll freeze before it hits the ground. You can make your very own urine-stalagmite! (Or is that a stalagtite? I always mix them up.) Note: Beware of shrinkage!



2. If you toss a pot of boiling hot water into the air, it will turn to snow. Belinda Jensen even demonstrated it during the 10 o'clock news on KARE last night, but I don't think it's up on their site.



3. If you lick a flagpole, you're an idiot. (Do you know where that thing has been?)



4. Remember, if you order a pizza this time of year because it's too cold to pick it up yourself: tip the delivery person. They're not out there because they like the weather. You should always tip, anyway, (I'm talking to you, Mr. Pink!) but especially when there's a 200 degree difference between the pizza in the box and the temperature outside your front door. Give 'em a little extra.

Now, I must work.

Blatently reposted from jwz



It's a response to the video embedded here - 4parents.gov Another fine example of our tax dollars at work. Thanks, BushCo.

And in case you were wondering, here's how you put a condom on with your teeth.

So it seems that a very important political debate is raging in certain circles on teh Infoblogs, and I'm curious about your opinion on the matter.



Who's hotter?


Jeri Kehn Thompson


Elizabeth "I have a tongue ring and won't remove it if my husband is elected" Kuscinich

Poll #1101754 Important Political Poll
Open to: All, detailed results viewable to: All

Who's hotter?

I am...

For the record, here's a picture of Dolley Madison:


Yowza.

Dear Caribou Coffee;

Thanks so much for making such a delicious coffee concoction as the Turtle Mocha Latte. I wouldn't have made it through the afternoon at work without your chemical contribution. I don't know where American workplace productivity would be without caffeine, but I suspect we'd be ranked down near Malawi in terms of overall GDP. The only thing hotter than your coffee is your clientelle.

Sincerely,
PhoenixRedux

Poll #1067586 Fight!!
Open to: All, detailed results viewable to: All

Who would win?

Please tell me why in comments.

My cell phone really likes the new bar that opened in my neighborhood last Tuesday. It stayed there after we left on Friday. It sat at the bar all of Saturday, and I had to drive it home on Sunday morning. I should check it for new phone numbers - there was also a really cute pink Motorolla Razor sitting there, too.

I can't blame it for wanting to stay. Buster's on 28th features Delerium Tremens - "The Best Beer in the World" (and I can't disagree). We had Juicy Lucys with Marzcapone and Blue Cheese. Unlike most Jucys, the cheese doesn't stay inside the patty. Rather, as it cooks, the cheese seeps through the beef, and infuses the meat with cheesy goodness. Purists may argue that this sort of cheese infusion is not in keeping with the presentation of a "traditional" Jucy Lucy, in the common manner of Matt's Bar or the 5-8 Club. However, I suspect that purists will be unable to make the arguement successfully while their mouth is full of this delicious, wonderful burger. It has a rich, wonderfully earthy flavor and comes standard with lettuce, tomato and onion. We ordered grilled onions, carmalized with perfection such as I've rarely seen. It's served on a fresh bun from The Baker's Wife - the bakery next door. The bakery deserves its own review, for it is also full of yummyness. The French Fries were well-done and crispy, obviously cut from real potatoes, and they did not seem as though they'd ever seen the inside of a freezer. These were happy, free-range potatoes.

Honestly, I barely glanced at the rest of the menu. I mean, who cares? They've got Jucy Lucys! So I should investigate that. I'm sure it's on the webpage. But the deserts caught my eye: Carmel Pecan Pie a la Mode, $6. I'm inspired to go back and try it some night. The burger was quite filling.

Busters on 28th was, until recently, the "Lakeside Lounge." I'd never been inside that incarnation of the pub, but it struck me as though it was a smokey, dank neighborhood watering hole - even after the smoking ban. The new bar is clean and fresh, but they've retained the classic elements of the neighborhood bar. I imagine that the staff must have done a considerable amount of scrubbing during the period where the bar was closed. They also added a new outdoor seating area on the sidewalk in front with an array of colorful beer-logo umbrellas. (I love the pink elephants of the Delirium Tremens umbrella!)

Dinner for two, including beer and tip, came to about $35. It also greatly exceeded my expectations. I did not expect to find a gourmet restaurant in place of a dark old bar. I was so pleasantly surprised, I forgot about my phone as we wandered off down the street to look at a house we might like to buy. The house features a commanding view of Lake Hiawatha, and dangerous proximity to my new favorite bar. Oh, I will be back. You should check it out, too.

mercystars inspired this:



(from this thread.)

And I'm a big fan of this one:



Be clever and spread this amongst your flist!

Braaaaaaaaains....

BRAINS!!!!

::lurch, lurch, lurch::

Poll #1002924 BRAINS
Open to: All, detailed results viewable to: All

Brains!

BRAINS!!!!

BRAAAAAAINS!!!!!!!!!!!

Dear LJ Friends -

I hope you're safe from the zombie attacks that cropped up today. Please comment - I want you all to stay ALIVE and not un-dead! I'm going to try to wait it out here in my office. The building is already pretty empty, and I-394 is a parking lot filled with lurching masses of the undead. STAY OFF THE FREEWAYS, or at least, stay off 394. My office is a Zombie Attack Survival Shelter, and we're prepared for at least a three day siege.

Remember: Don't let anyone IN or OUT, and don't go ANYWHERE alone or unarmed! And if you have time wherever you're holed up, consider editing the Zombie Wiki. It lacks a "Survival" section, which, I'm sure we all agree would be VERY USEFUL to all of us survivors right now!

Here's a useful video. WATCH IT NOW!!

http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=2139724123271828075

So the other day, grenacia and I were talking about the new Coke Rewards program after reading about it on the side of a bottle of cold, refreshing Coca-Cola Classic.^TM You can earn cool prizes and enter hot sweepstakes, simply by redeeming the codes from bottle caps or cases of many of your favorite Coca-Cola^TM brand beverages, including Mr. Pibb^R, Fanta^R, and Lipton Teas^R. I scoffed, "Isn't that a lot like the way cigarette companies marketed to kids, with, like, Camel Bucks or Marlboro Points, where you could send in for jackets or lawnchairs or stuff with their logo plastered all over it?" and she said, "Yeah, pretty much." And it lead me to speculate about whether or not soda makers like Coke^R would be the next Tobacco. And by that I mean, if we'll be seeing huge lawsuits brought against them by morbidly obese consumers. But then I logged on to their lovely flash-based website, www.mycokerewards.com and after filling out a brief registration page, I can now enter codes from the caps and cartons of delicious, refreshing Coca-Cola products^R from the web, or by sending them via text message to "COKE" (2653), and I can win cool prizes! I won a free two liter bottle of crisp, cold, Coca-Cola Classic^R just for registering! Or I could have chosen "Pirates of the Caribbean 3" mobile phone stuff, like ring tones and wallpaper!
Or to quote from their marketing material:
1) Look for codes on specially-marked packages of your favorite Coca-Cola brand products.
2) Collect codes and earn points on www.mycokerewards.com.
3) Use your points to get the great rewards YOU want!
4) PROFIT!!!!

Ok, I may have added #4. But if you don't want to register at www.mycokerewards.com then might I suggest, you could email them to me, and I'll build up a wealth of Coke Rewards Points^TM? That would be awesome. Then you won't have to share your personal info with our corporate sponsors overlords.

You know where else they serve cold, delicious and refreshing Coca-Cola^TM products? Chipotle. ;)

Paris is now on house arrest. I know you all care so much.

Actually, I don't really care, either. I just like this picture. Skank-a-licious. :)

And in other news about people who should be in prison, it seems that our friend Senator Ted "Series of Tubes" Stevens (R-Alaska) has found himself in the middle of a corruption scandal. It seems that a pipeline company backed a big truck up to his house, and just dumped a bunch of cash into it. Literally. Ok, well, figuratively. But there certainly was a big truck involved. They wanted to build a pipeline, that is, a "series of tubes" to transport oil and natural gas, much in the same manner as how the Internet works. This is why Ted Stevens' committee is in charge of the Internet. He knows how to get tubes built. First, one must build a new level onto Mr. Steven's home. After that, the regulatory hurdles fall before you. It's very convenient.

Hi, I'm here from the Internet;

My friend foxsong had her LJ hacked last night (NSFW), and it's made me think about password security, especially after reading the Hack FAQ #117, particularly:

<sub>Your LiveJournal password can always be reset by anyone with access to the current email address associated with your account, as well as any email address which has been validated on your account longer than the current email address. Ultimately, the security of your first validated email address determines the security of your LiveJournal account.

If you can no longer access any email address associated with your LiveJournal account, you will first need to work with your email service provider before you can resecure your LiveJournal Account. If your first validated email address has been compromised, and cannot be resecured, there is unfortunately no action that you or the Abuse Team can take to resecure your LiveJournal account.</sub>

The lesson?

1. DO NOT use the same password for your primary email and your LJ account.
2. CHANGE PASSWORDS frequently. Go and do it RIGHT NOW, in fact. It can't hurt.
3. Maintain secure passwords. Use something that's hard to guess, and which uses alpha-numeric mixed-case characters. Don't use your pet's name, your kid's name, or anything that someone could easily guess from reading your blog.
4. Hackers suck. But not as hard as their moms do. And believe me, I know.

foxsong is really nice, and doesn't deserve the headache of this sort of juvenille bullshit. I just hope her LJ is the only security breach she has to contend with. Better check those credit cards, Fox.

I know I'm preaching to the choir - everyone here uses uncrackable, completely random passwords, and never uses the same password for any two purposes. Just remember to be safe, kids. It's a big, bad, scary Internet out there, and it's full of terrible people. Don't take cookies from strangers, and no matter how badly you want to see more pix of Scully naked, don't give AndersonBoy aka CGBS your credit card number. But I don't really need to tell you THAT.

Poor Paris. If only she had stayed in the backseat of the car.

---

Once again, the OMGWTFBBQ will be Saturday at 2. See this post if you need more information or want to bring something.

Hey everyone -

Don't forget the OMGWTFBBQ is coming up on Saturday, May 12, 2PM - 6 (maybe later?) at Minnehaha Park in Minneapolis

If anyone is going to be coming or going by way of Hudson, WI and could give jumpinjessflash a lift, please let us know. If you need my phone number, email me at gmail.

Does anyone have any questions?

And it's potluck-style, so what would you like to bring? I'll make a list and post it here for coordination purposes.

What Items Are People Bringing to the OMG-WTF-BBQ?

phoenixredux the Grillmaster - will be going shopping next week for charcoal and meat + tools and condiments.

bella_phenomena - Homemade Cookies (Mmmm... Cookies!)

giddykiwi "Asian Noodle Salad Thingie". (Mmmm... Thingies!)

grenacia Giant Scrabble letter "OMGWTFBBQ" banners, weiners

jumpinjessflash is making something up.

i12bmore = Chips

daedala Szechuan-style chicken wings (OMG the recipe looks delicious!)

soyouthinkPaper Products, Side dish/desert (TBA)

We also need: utensils, beverages, hamburger & hotdog buns, and any other food you'd like to bring. We're planning for about 15-20 people at this point.

I don't think we're going to starve. :)

I've just called and emailed my US Congressman Keith Ellison (D-5th-MN) regarding HRES 333 IH, or Articles of Impeachement of Vice President Richard Cheney, sent to the House Judiciary Committee by Rep. Kucinich.

If you're outraged by the actions of this Administration (and who isn't?), then please, take a moment to call your US Representative, and do it now. They're in session right now. Please urge them to support HRES 333 IH, and let them know that their constituents ARE paying attention to this. Every phone call/letter/email and fax does count. Tell your friends to do the same. Kucinich doesn't have a lot of support on this Resolution, and it would be a shame to let it die in committee.

It occurs to me that pushing the OMGWTFBBQ into May gives us a shot at some better weather, as well as more time for planning, promotion and preparation. I like Saturday, May 12. Who's with me?

Poll #968829 OMGWTFBBQ?!? part two
Open to: All, detailed results viewable to: All

Would the afternoon of Saturday May 12 work for you?

Do you need directions to the park?

What sort of pot-luck type item would you like to bring?

Do you have any questions? (Use the comments if you need more room.)

Am I forgetting anything?

Wow! Spring really crept up behind me and knocked me over the head! Do you remember when I proposed doing a spring get-together, a "OMGWTF-BBQ", if you will? Well, it's about that time...


Poll #967908 OMGWTFBBQ?!
Open to: All, detailed results viewable to: All

LOL?

True or False: I live in the Twin Cities area.

If Phoenixredux organized a Get-Together, meet-upy type of event - the OMGWTFBBQ - I would be interested in attending.

Especially if such event were to be held at Minnehaha Park!

It would be good to hold the OMGWTFBBQ on the afternoon of:

Is there anything you'd like to bring?

Will you tell all of your Minneapolis-area LJ friends to attend?

Minnehaha park is convenient for those reliant on public transportation, but if anyone has a better suggestion....

And please leave a message at the beep...

BEEP!

The pet food recall may also ultimately include some dry varieties.

This is not a sign that you should panic and put your pets on the Raw Foods diet.

Stay tuned.

---

From the New York Times:

F.D.A. Tests Show Chemical in Pet Food
By BRENDA GOODMAN
Published: March 30, 2007

ATLANTA, Ga., March 30 — Scientists with the Food and Drug Administration have linked a chemical to the illness and deaths of cats eating tainted food and raised for the first time the possibility that dry pet food may have been affected as well as wet food.

F.D.A. officials said at a news conference today that they have linked the chemical melamine, which they said is used as a fertilizer in Asia, to the kidneys of the affected cats. Thousands of owners of both cats and dogs who feed their pets wet or dry food have complained that their pets have become ill, but the F.D.A. has not yet determined if those illnesses are linked to pet food.

The agency has recalled a batch of contaminated Chinese wheat gluten that was sent to many pet food manufacturers, including one that makes dry dog food.

But they said they do not know yet if the contaminated wheat gluten has been used to make pet food. And the F.D.A.’s finding was also immediately disputed by the New York State Food Laboratory, the testing facility that announced last Friday it had identified Aminopterin, a rat poison, in samples of tainted cat food.

Because the F.D.A. identified melamine crystals in the kidneys of affected cats, the agency is presuming the illnesses are related to the chemical, said Dr. Stephen F. Sundlof, director of the F.D.A.’s Center for Veterinary Medicine.

F.D.A officials have not yet released the name of the dry pet food company that received the contaminated wheat gluten, saying it was not clear if any of that gluten had yet been made into dog food.

“We are in the plant right now,” said Michael Rogers, director of the division of field investigations in the office of regulatory affairs for the F.D.A. “At this time, we’re not certain any dry food was made with that wheat gluten. As soon as we find out what dry food, if any, was manufactured, we will announce it publicly.”

Jessica A Chittenden, a spokeswoman for the New York State Department of Agriculture and Markets, said “We don’t think this is the final conclusion. Melamine is not a known toxin. There’s not enough data to show that it is toxic to cats.”

She added: “We are confident we found Aminopterin, and it makes sense with the pathology.” She also said another laboratory, Animal Health Laboratory at the University of Guelph in Canada, had confirmed the presence of Aminopterin in the samples.

But the F.D.A. said they had been unable to find Aminopterin in the pet food samples it had tested. Researchers at Cornell said they were also unable to find any evidence of the rat poison.

“We believe the laboratories involved in this investigation should continue to maintain an open forum to definitively identify the one or more agents that are causing the deaths and illnesses of cats and dogs so that they do not enter the animal or human food chain in the future,” said Patrick Hooker, the agricultural commissioner for the state of New York.

Though Dr. Sundlof said he was not certain melamine was the chemical causing illness in dogs and cats, “at this point in the investigation, we are not focusing on Aminopterin.”

F.D.A. officials announced they had received more than 8,000 complaints from pet owners with sick pets, but they have not yet had “the luxury of time” to confirm all of those complaints are linked to tainted pet food.

Officials did acknowledge, however, that many of the complaints were from owners who only fed their pets dry food.

Another press conference by Menu Foods, the manufacturer of wet “cuts and sauce” style food that has already been recalled, was scheduled for later today.

And as a matter of fact, yes, that IS my own photo of the Watergate Filing Cabinet...

Laptop stolen in DFL Break-in

MINNEAPOLIS -- A laptop computer was stolen from Interim Minnesota DFL Communications Director Nick Kimball's office this weekend.

No other electronics or computers were taken in the robbery.

The intruder smashed an exterior window in gaining entrance to the office.

The laptop contains contact lists and information the DFL would prefer to maintain internally.

Police officials indicate that an investigation of the incident is underway.

Also, a personal note to Robyne Robinson at Fox 9 News:

Dear Robyne,

If you don't know whether the building that is on fire during your Fox News Alert is a townhome or apartment or whatever, might I suggest Google Earth? I was able to find this image of what is clearly a townhome before you went to commercial break. Also, why am I watching Fox 9 News?

Sincerely,
Phoenix

Shamelessly reposted from the most awesome soylentmean.

Also, Happy Pi Day, Steak & Blowjob Day, and "National Ask A Question" Day.

Does anyone have any questions?

As previously mentioned, here's the bike race through the downtown St. Paul Skyways. If you live in a warm locale and don't know what a skyway is, picture human-scale hamster tubes connecting the buildings downtown so that we don't have to venture into the frozen outdoors to cross the street. It is, if you will, a series of tubes. And it's one of the many innovations that allows people to live on this godforsaken frozen tundra. Also, we need diversions. This is what happens when you combine the two.