Pete's Journal of his so-called life

yes it is true... i got off the plane this morning and it was 23 degrees... not the -5 it was in Toronto.

i am very excited to spend some quality time with david.  he's got work and an awards show to attend so i might just walk along the beach and check out a bar or two tonight.

sight seeing is a must in this weekend.  and i am not really sure what i am doing during the week.  maybe just walk around, get dropped off around dave's work and galivant.

at least next weekend is Vegas.  don't plan on spending big $$ but you never know what that $1 i put in could win.  i might never come home at that point :P

it is going to be good to take some time for myself.  relax, not worry about sara, life, work, money, etc.  quality friend time with dave and the sun.

i know you are jealous.  i would be.

later.

live in my house... i'll be your shelter...

just pay me back with 1000 kisses.
be my lover.....

and
i'll cover you...

ya..hhh...


open your door, i'll be your tenant,
don't got much baggage to lay at your feet..

but sweet kisses i've got to spare..
i'll be there and i'll cover you.

i think that they meant it
when they said you can't buy love
now i know i can rent it
and at least you were my love....

well this is going to be an interesting holiday season to say the least... with me likely on a day schedule - i will have time to actually visit people when they are home.

now to the thoughts:

--I am not going to spend the $600-$800 this year on presents because 60% of my money went towards my immediate family.  with mom,dad, fred, jonathon, amanda(and mike), gram all put into one $50 gift in our 'secret santa' which will begin for the first time... that's money saved.
--sara was another person i would spend $150-200 on.  yeah.  not going to happen this year.  with her recent trip costing her probably in the ballpark of $3500... and most of that credit, she isn't likely going to spend the same on me... and we aren't in the same spot we were last year, and unsure if that anything will be the same, that saves me another $150.

so the people i will buy for this year: secret santa ($50), Sara and her mom ($50), Grandparents ($50), Mike Jr. and Samantha ($50).

so christmas just got to about the $200 range.  i'll likely cheat and push that up to about 350... but still, pretty cheap.

this is going to be a tough holiday for me.  not sure if i should put any decorations because... well i don't have any.  not sure if i am going to entertain... i wanted to do that sooner but with the recent demotion... hard to entertain when you don't have much to show.  and the other point is that it is going to be lonely.  especially if Sara is not in an active role in my life... my other friends are likely all going home or busy or both... le sigh.  

i do look forward to the movies though.  i love the christmas movies, even the tacky ones (well maybe not santa claus 2) and i haven't seen 3... but definitely Grinch (both), Frostie, Rudolph, Elf, and the new one Fred Claus, and all the other ones i'm not thinking of.  

the cheating above may come in the form of some sort of handmade items... i'm not a knitter or an artist, or even really that handy with my hands... but i have some ideas.  simple things.  

le sigh.  who knows.  let's get through november first!

MATT GOOD: 21st CENTURY LIVING:
Around here our ambition throws an non-perishable item in a donation bin at Christmas
And it pats itself on the fucking back because it thinks it's done something decent


ILL-SCARLET: NOTHING SPECIAL:
This is the part of the song of the song where i just dont give a fuck,
About what you want,
what you heard,
what you thought

this is a post that feels like a complete waste of time.
brought to you by me.

This seems a bit silly but it is time for me to do a grocery list for myself - first time on my own etc.  This is going to be an expensive one since i'll need EVERYTHING!

here it goes - in cut form cause it doesn't need to be huge on everyone's friends list.

That's about it.  anything you think i'm missing?  Remember... i'm not a cook.  So there are a lot of easy meals in there.  but a bit of creativity and the knowledge that you shouldn't under cook chicken... i'll be ok.  nothing fancy but i just need to get into the whole concept of cooking for myself.  At least i'll like everything i buy.

bored at work... thought i'd ask a few questions to everyone.

have you ever:

used blankets/pillows/something to make it seem like someone is sleeping beside you?  
-i think that i've only really started this in the past few months.  i actually said goodnight once.  

laughed at something inappropriate?\
-i get caught on this one all the time.  

gone back and look at old photos of yourself and wonder how you changed so much?
-seriously - short hair, long hair, facial hair, clean shaven, glasses - i can change in so many ways.  Sara always said that in old photos of me i looked sick because i was too skinny.  (and i would agree - i think when i gained those 20 pounds in a short amount of time that i hit a weight that made me look healthier).

wondered if you'd ever make a difference?
-i think we all want to do something - something important.  help even one person for the better.  a bit of arrogance leads to moments were you almost feel that greatness is within you.  ah - if only.

sang in your car without a care of who sees you?
-this is simply for those who are like me... completely emmersed in the music that overwhelms you.  i get lost in songs - a pleasantness to my mind.  doesn't matter what it is - oldies, death music, anything... as long as i can sing to it.

alright that's it for now.

unsure if history will repeat itself.

for once (with a bit of help from facebook) i feel that people remembered by birthday. i shouldn't worry on why or how but just the fact that they did. and from that a few more people might come out tomorrow for my birthday party.

i'm content. i'm happy.

maybe next year when there isn't so much going on in my life i'll actually plan something worth planning... renting the skydome or something (for those outside of toronto - it is a 55,000 dome where the toronto blue jays play...)... yeah.

thanks for all of your wishes too!!

yup. another year older. people always guess wrong with me. i think my lack of hair style... or general bum look... i thik it looks ok on me...

i was a bit worried. i hate my birthday because i always find that the people i want to remember - DON'T!!. that is what always hurts the most. i would rather not celebrate it because it only makes it worse when you are the only one to really cheer about it.

but this year hasn't started off so bad... except for the fact that for the first 6 hours and the last 6 hours i'll be at work... WOO FUCKING HOO!!!! i'll get a few hours of sleep but even a phone call, a few words here or there will make it feel like for one second that people remembered... don't we all just want to be remembered.

Trying to find what is free on birthdays....

as per mich's comment to me - i have not vanished. with my busy time dealing with the fixing up of my condo and the general activities of going out with friends and family and also with my crazy work schedule... i am not really posting anywhere.

my facebook is probably the best place to see me in action... but i'm a voyeur there too!

things are going on - primer and the sanding of the floors was the big accomplishment of the week. with that done - another coat of prime, then paint and staining of the floor might make the place close to being 'lived' in. still have some tiling to do, and fixing up here and there but really - late july/early august should be definitely my 'moving' window.

just really exhausted as of late though... long days followed by late nights. but i'll be fine.

not much of an update... but it is something right... later.

the place is in the works. 7 days of cleaning and prepping will lead to odd days here and there that i don't work to get the rest of the place to the point where i can move in.

but sitting on my balcony at 3am is cool when i get to experience the peacefulness of knowing it is mine.

everyone wants to paint - no one wants to clean... bah.

so the next day i go (which i might get little or no sleep and go after work in the morning) i want to take some photos and show the difference before and after... and it will amaze people - even if nothing more then a coat of paint.

perfect location though.

peter is content.

Anyone heard good or bad things about virgin phones? - especially in canada?

with the new ability to transfer over a number - i am thinking of switching from Fido - damn bastards!!!

am thinking about the $30 plan from Virgin,

gives me all the features (voicemail, call display, call waiting) for free.
no service access fee
and my $30 plan is $30! (maybe plus taxes but still).
get 100 daytime and 1000 evenings and weekends.

AND NO FREAKING CONTRACTS!

so ya, anyone hear anything good or bad?

so i wanted to add more, but i had to take out a few to do that... that's ok, no more chuck norris anyways... or the grim reaper or hitler. i'm fine with all of that.

so more of ME ME ME!!!

yup. that's right - in the past day i've offered and they came back 2,000 more but hey, i'll take it.

I am so excited.

I know that everyone on here and even some of my friends on myspace feel that i can come to them when i have a problem. and i totally agree.

but there are some times where you can't talk to anyone because they will not understand or it in involving other people who you should be discussing things with.

so i can be vague, leaving no space for assistance and not really say anything but say something.

i dont know what will happen. i don't know if everything will be fine.
and i definitely don't believe that 'everything happens for a reason' because if i can see the reason for some of the events - i'd be stunned to see how it turns out.

i know i'm not that social on here anymore, and that is the fault of myspace and my lack of verbalizing my problems in this type of forum. sometimes it is just better to deal with real life problems in real life.

there comes a time where it is better to let someone go because you are nothing but a bad reminder of all these things they want to forget. but when that time comes are we all able to do what is right rather then what we want.. are we that selfless. i don't know. sigh.

end of 1/2 a thought.

I know it is early and i haven't seen it but i have sent out an email to a real estate agent i met on my trip and i think that i would buy this place in a second.

Condo: 3 bedrooms, 2 bathrooms, about 900sq feet on the cusp of 427 and Dundas. 10 minute drive to work. 1 bus to subway. 2 malls and walmart nearby in an area growing...

price: 172000.

PETER IS VERY INTERESTED. Preparing to shave, wear nice clothes and view it sometime soon.

WTF!!!!!

I really like this whole excitement. but 3 bedrooms might be lonely... i might ask a friend i know to be a roommate, he's already west toronto anyways.

we'll see!

a year ago i was going to medieval times with sara and we had a good time. our knight did not win but at least we got a photo with him later. i still have all the things from that night, in a box, safe. i have the photos and the videos. i have smiles.

now i have a day i want to put my head down. no wonder so many people kill themselves in february. an entire holiday dedicated to love and not everyone is in love.

so on valentine's day - for all of us single people - we will be each other's valentines.

the tempt of flowers is another thing too... bah.

these feelings I can not shake
up all night I lay awake
they seem to come and go
gone for awhile in deep denial
how I wish they’d stay there so

I want to say I don’t care
That life is unfair, with me aware
But deep within my mind
The answers I find, unkind

So here I stand alone
Cold to the bone
Shivering in the realization of this dramatization
That was self created in desperation

I toss and turn in the dark
Huddled in search for that spark
To set afire the desire
To sleep
Even as a liar.

Peter February 7, 2007 7:50pm

so my entire breakdown of my trip to mexico is at my myspace

http://www.myspace.com/canadianpete

it is on my blog... and if you are already over at myspace, you could add me and check out a few pics... and later tomorrow some videos.