Xander Harris ([info]perspective_guy) wrote,
@ 2004-12-10 22:28:00
Previous Entry  Add to memories!  Tell a Friend!  Next Entry
Current mood: crazy
Current music:blissful silence

confession time
Uhm. It's cold. That is all.

//firewalled against anyone I have ever met in person. EVER

So, okay. I've been spending an inordinate amount of time with Harmony. And there are legitimate explanations, really. There hasn't been much time for Scoobie bonding, I mean, Buffy and Spike are...well, Buffy and Spike. Willow and Kennedy are always doing fun lesbian activities that they don't really want me to film for some reason. Even Dawnie is busy with something resembling a normal non-Hellmouthian social life. And its the holidays. And I'm lonely. And Harm isn't all that bad, really. Just ditzy. And she doesn't kill people. I think.

But she's soulless. I shouldn't be hanging out and shoppping and drinking and singing along to Britney Spears tunes with a soulless, evil, demony vampire. It's just wrong. I mean, think of the wrongest wrong that ever wronged, and multiply it by, oh say, a couple infities. And thus, we have my thing with Harmony.

I'm having, like, self-hatred issues. I mean really. And now, I'm talking like her. Dear lord.

MAYBE, it's hellmouthy related. Crisis averted! I wish.

//end firewall


(Post a new comment)


[info]tastylilgifty
2004-12-11 08:30 am UTC (link)
//firewall type firewall thing

Oh, goodness. I'm sorry, Xand. Not for the Harmony, thing, for the self-hatred thing. I actually know that feeling well.

But, the thing you have to remember, is that the whole "Thin Line Between Good and Evil" thing you're worried about> It doesn't exist. You of all people should know that the "Line" is more like a smudge. A very blurry smudge.

Are you feeling bad because of the ideas you have in your head? Or because of what other people might think?

//end... you know.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

[info]perspective_guy
2004-12-11 04:40 pm UTC (link)
///firewallerino

I'm feeling bad because I'm being a hypocrite. Plain and simple. I've ragged on Buffy so many times for her inappropriate choice in soul mates, and here I am, making time with an evil dead club member.

Eh. I mean, I don't have these feelings of ick when I'm around her. That's mostly because when I'm around her, I can't believe the things that come out of her mouth. It's just when I get a moment's peace I start to feel the whatthehells.

//endeth

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

[info]trepkos
2004-12-11 04:51 pm UTC (link)
Its not hypocritical to learn by experience.

(Reply to this)(Parent)

[info]tastylilgifty
2004-12-13 04:31 am UTC (link)
blah blah bittyfirewall blah.

Ohhhh. Well, that makes sense.

Everybody's wrong sometimes, though. And admitting that bites a really big one.

You do have to make a descision, though. I mean, not only on what you're gonna do, but on how you're gonna feel about what you end up doing. Did that make sense?

In notsospastic terms, you can't just keep feeling this way. Maybe take some time away from her, get a couple of those 'moments of peace' to sort things out.

//remove the veil of blahness!


(Reply to this)(Parent)

[info]trepkos
2004-12-11 08:55 am UTC (link)
soul, shmoul.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

[info]perspective_guy
2004-12-11 04:41 pm UTC (link)
bowl, troll.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

[info]trepkos
2004-12-11 04:49 pm UTC (link)
You're not calling H...y a troll, surely?

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

[info]perspective_guy
2004-12-11 04:52 pm UTC (link)
uh. No. I thought we were playing a rhyming game, curly?

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

[info]trepkos
2004-12-11 04:54 pm UTC (link)
'Cos its all about the fun, son.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

[info]perspective_guy
2004-12-11 05:05 pm UTC (link)
yup! SO much fun, we'll never be done, hon.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

[info]trepkos
2004-12-11 05:59 pm UTC (link)
I got no more.

(Reply to this)(Parent)

[info]snoopypez
2004-12-11 10:28 am UTC (link)
//firewall thingy

Aww.. Why the self hatred? :/ It can't be just because you're hanging with Harmony. I hope it's not because the other Scoobs are involved in other things, cause they're totally missing out by not spending more time with their one and only Xander. I know if *I* had a Xander I'd spend all the time I could with it. :D

(Reply to this)(Thread)

[info]perspective_guy
2004-12-11 04:43 pm UTC (link)
//firewalled

The self-hatred is coming only from the fact that I feel dirty every time I've laughed and had a blast with Harmony.

And this could possibly be equal parts she's evil and she was such a bitchy little waste of time in high school. Who knows?

And as for the gang...it'd be fun for things to be like they were, but I can't be mad for the way things are now. It's just how it is. I'm just glad that everyone is so happy.

And heh, Xander dolls, in stores just in time for your denominational holiday festivities!

//fin

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

[info]snoopypez
2004-12-11 11:42 pm UTC (link)
//firewalled

:( Well, I sure don't blame you for feeling that way; I'd feel the same if it were me. However..

Try NOT to be so down on yourself, k? :P It's hard, but try. You've ALL made sorta hypocrotical mistakes or choices in the past, it's what we human-like beings do. :) ::hugs::

Oooo, Xander dolls.. Me likey. :D

(Reply to this)(Parent)

[info]fan_elune
2004-12-11 02:18 pm UTC (link)
//firewall

I'm a bit at a loss. RL has made it so I've had to stay away from LJ. Now a couple months later, I come back, and you're hanging out with Harmony? Did hell freeze over when you guys last averted an apocalypse?

Now, I don't know what's up with you two, but... tread cautiously, is all I can say. I'll be able to look in on livejournal more over Christmas break, I'm looking forward to learning more about what this is all about. I missed reading the goodness that is you, Xand-man.

// end firewall

(Reply to this)(Thread)

[info]perspective_guy
2004-12-11 04:48 pm UTC (link)
//firewall

I'm tryiing to figure out a way to blame this in an impending apocalypse, myself, actually. It's just, we fixed that whole demon thing at her job in LA, and she followed me here, and I wanted to keep her away from Buffy and Spike, because the last thing they need is more drama, and then, well, we just started to, you know, hang.

Nothing is up. I'm just horrified that there's this whole friendship vibe going down. I should not be friends with an evilbeing, much less friends with an evil bening who is Harmony Kendell.

//end firewall

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

[info]fan_elune
2004-12-22 12:32 pm UTC (link)
//firewall

I'm just feeling this overwhelming urge to hug you. Go figure. So there goes: *hug*

Does "evil" really apply to Harmony? Don't tell her I said that, 'course. But I really think "wannabe" should not be left out, when using that adjective in the same sentence as her name. She pretty much sucks at being evil.

//end firewall

(Reply to this)(Parent)

[info]jaspreetpink
2004-12-11 03:35 pm UTC (link)
//Firewall, umm, activated?

Oh Xander, don't hate yourself over this! You all hung out with Spike when he was soulless (Buffy more than others). I'm sure your friends would be understanding about hanging out with her. And the fact that Harmony is the vampire you're hangin with--well, they got over Cordelia, right? And she used to be really mean and ditzy back in the day.

Maybe you could tell someone what's going on, alleviate the guilt, ya know? Or maybe not. At the very least, if it's really bothering you, make some time for group activities with the Scoobies, do something Christmas-y (Or you know, play the dreidel game with Willow).

//Firewall umm... deactivated?

(Reply to this)(Thread)

[info]perspective_guy
2004-12-11 04:51 pm UTC (link)
//firewalled

Yeah, we hung out with Spike, and I whined about it every step of the way. I can't imagine telling Buffy or Willow about this. And Cordelia? A thousand times less shocking than Harmony as a buddy.

Yeah, its one of those nights of the festival of lights, isn't it? We can light stuff on fire, and then unwrap underwear! Yeah...

//end firewall

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

[info]jaspreetpink
2004-12-11 05:53 pm UTC (link)
HAHAHAHAHA!

(Reply to this)(Parent)
Shoe on the other foot?
[info]doniago
2004-12-12 04:49 pm UTC (link)
//Like, Firewall and Stuff

Maybe you understand a bit more about Buffy & Spike and her not telling anyone (especially you) now?

No snark intended.

//End Stuffy Firewall

(Reply to this)

[info]dirty_grrl
2004-12-12 07:45 pm UTC (link)
// Firewall //

It's tough to grow up, isn't it? 'Cos when you grow up, you find out that sometimes things that were so black and white when you were younger, suddenly aren't anymore.

// End firewall //

(Reply to this)
//engaging firewall//
[info]adrian__tepes01
2004-12-13 02:56 pm UTC (link)
Look we talked about this. Either you can take a risk with a Buffy, your red-headed best friend, even Faith (provided anyone can find her...)

Or you can sit there and end up with a Harmony Kendall the vampire.

I'm not saying Harmony's bad but there are other options available. Take a chance man, live for the now, not for the then or the maybe. Go for it.

//end firewall//

(Reply to this)

[info]rickj
2004-12-18 05:04 am UTC (link)
//No Read-ee, No See-ee

Dude. You're best friends with someone who can re-soul vampires. Seems to me the thing to do would be for you to get Harm an Orb of Thesulla for Christmas. Then she's just the ditzy dead instead of the evil dead.

Of course, you still have to explain Harmony, but that's something even magic can't fix.

//Yadda Yadda Yadda

(Reply to this)

marcie_ross95
2004-12-20 06:36 am UTC (link)
/firewall-type-thingy

xander xander xander.. If you feel actual self-hatred with your.. spendage of time with the dead blonde wonder, then maybe you should break it off. If you are THINKing that you should be feeling self-hatred, then maybe this relationship needs to be taken further, and looked into.. hey, maybe you could even talk to harmony about the possibility of her having a soul.

Whatever the decision, my big carpenter clad- boy.. make sure it's what you want. And that you talk it out with the girl, the best friends, and the inner you.

ack too much dept in my writing. back to fan girl..

/endfirewalltype thingy

It's so cold here that I have had to wear my slippers around the clock! and they're kinda sorta helping. Hey. You know what would rock? hot chocolate-bacardi drinks! mmm...

(shifty eyes).. okay, so I'm only 17.. I'M CANADIAN!!!! whoot.

<3
me,
ren

(Reply to this)

[info]shinykeyofdoom
2004-12-24 06:42 am UTC (link)
Do you like monkey boxers?


.. No reason. ^^

(Reply to this)
EWW!!
(Anonymous)
2004-12-24 10:47 am UTC (link)
Xander,
EWWW!! WHY THE HELL HARMANY??!!??!!??!!??!!??!!??!!

(Reply to this)

[info]2002mini
2005-01-04 10:05 am UTC (link)
It's not like you're hurting her. More with the shagging and not so much with the angst.

(Reply to this)

Create an Account
Forgot your login?
Login w/ OpenID
English • Español • Deutsch • Русский…