Here I am again. Anyway, too much has changed to bother catching up. Haven't written recently. Here's a new poem. Please comment. I'm a bit rusty. I haven't been to a poetry reading since 2005 or so.
CADAVER
I was pretty once
I kept myself for you
Knew what the scalpel would do
Knew the weeks we would spend together
Your fingers gliding acorss the smooth, soft muscles of my thighs
The shine of my body under the light
I glisten for you; I close my eyes for you
You hold my hand for a moment
Forget where we are and reach to squeeze my fingers
When the saw begins to whirr
I shine for you; I unfold and give
My breasts fall against my rib cage
Their glands and netting, tangled strings of pearls
glistening in your hands
My babies knew those riches
My babies knew the warm amrita I kept for them
I would tell you about them,
about the little one taken too early
about the oldest one, who wouldn't come when I called
My hips rise, curved dune bones
A lover once said they were the curves of his guitar
Said he could push and pull notes from me
I open for you; I lay wide for you; I sing for you
Do you see him in there? Do you see all of them
hidden in the folds of my flesh?
Do you pull them, glistening and grey from my thorax
When you open my rib cage to find my heart
shimmering like a ruby?
- Mood:
okay
Hello Everyone!
This is just to say that I have decided to abandon my livejournal and switch over to blogger. I hope you'll stop by and see me. Thank you!
gopeigi.blogspot.com
- Mood:
content
- The Banjo
- The Wedding
- The Job
- Some thoughts on writing
- Mr. Wilson
- A sky full of planets
- The Banjo: After much thought and careful consideration as well as some procrastination and speculation as well as some prospecting (you know, in the river, with the pan, for the gold) I finally went to the guitar shop and got myself a banjo. Ah, the sweet smell of banjo in the morning! I’m renting it from the guitar shop with the option to buy it in November. I’m pretty excited and I had my first lesson on Saturday. After years of taking music lessons in instruments that didn’t really interest me (piano, clarinet) I’m finally excited to practice and go to lessons. My teacher is a really nice guy and a great banjo player. He plays all kinds of banjo (did you know there are kinds? Clawhammer, bluegrass, old-timey) but he especially loves bluegrass and that’s what I’m learning to play. YEE-HAW! I’m having fun.
- The wedding was beautiful. Rollo and I had a really wonderful time and it was so great to see our family and friends. The weather was perfect and just as the reception was winding down, it started to rain so it was perfect. A friend of ours arranged for a limo to take us from the wedding to the hotel and it was a wonderful, romantic way to end the evening. Really, it was perfect. It was very homemade and it felt good to look around and see all of our hard work. I wouldn’t have had it any other way. The honeymoon was beautiful and relaxing. We went on a tour of national parks in southern
- I’ve been “promoted” at work. It’s a lot more responsibility so I’m excited to be making decisions and such. I enjoy the job, but I’m constantly reminded that this is not what I want to do for the rest of my life. What’s next?
- My creative writing teacher has said some very encouraging things to me regarding graduate school. I like the idea of and MFA but I’m not sure about the actual practice of it. Here’s the truth about me and writing. I think writing is one of the most humiliating things that I do. I think it is so embarrassing to tell those stories, I think it is terrifying to write stories that you want to actually mean something. I actually hate to write. I feel it moving in my gut and I want it out. I write stories and then, when they are finished, I read them and I hate them for everything they aren’t, for every way they fail. I know, I know, I’m young, I’m getting started… there are all kinds of excuses and reasons, but what if it’s not that you’re young? What if you’re always disappointed and humiliated by what you do? Is it enough to know that only occasionally you will be happy with your work? Is that really enough? And then, there are those writers (we all know them and maybe, secretly, we are them) who can’t write (poetasters, if you will) but they keep writing and they keep sharing and they don’t know and no one says anything and what if that’s you? What if that’s me? I’m not looking to be reassured, here. I’m just saying that it’s possible that you’re not good at the thing you want to do most and maybe you should stop trying.
- Mr. Wilson: I met Mr. Wilson, owner and creator of the
- My dreams are filled with swimming in an ocean full of fish and seaweed and flying through a sky full of glowing planets and flaming asteroids. I don’t think this means anything but if you know something that I don’t, let me know.
- Mood: mellow
- Music:silence
Does this work?
whoa, if this works, I am gonna be so excited.
you were overdramatic.
It must be true. You’re mother said so.
As usual, I am choosing to do this post in the numbered list format. Love it, hate it, get over it. Read what you like, skip what you don’t. I will discuss the following topics:
1. I have forsaken poetry.
2. Weddings are for suckers.
3. The quarter-life crisis continues.
4. Medusa is born again.
5. You should have been there.
1. It is official. I have forsaken poetry. You hear me, poetry? Forsaken! Now, kids, before you get all worked up, it doesn’t mean that poetry and I don’t love each other, it just means that we don’t make each happy anymore. Don’t worry, you’ll still see both of us at holidays and we won’t miss any of your school events, but I will be bringing a new friend with me, his name is short fiction. BOOYAH! I have discovered a new form of writing and I’m really enjoying it. This short fiction class has turned out to be one of the best gifts anyone has ever gotten for me. (A graffiti flower is a very close second and cute rain boots is definitely in on the competition.)
What started out as a terrifying experiment has become a gratifying adventure. I know that I complained about the class at first but I have learned to take what I can get from it (thanks for the advice) and block the rest of it out. I feel challenged, I feel terrified, I feel excited. I forgot that I love to write. When I couldn’t write poetry anymore, I thought it was over, that I would never write again, but I was wrong, and this is great!
2. Yes, it’s true, weddings are for suckers. (no offense, Elizabeth) I just realized what’s happening. I have Rollo. I want Rollo. The church could burn down and the guests could all RSVP no and it would be okay because all I want is Rollo. The party is nice and fun and an expensive lot of work but when it’s all said and done, I am jumping through hoops to get the one thing that I already have. I am grateful for all the friendship, help, and support that people have offered as I have gone through this process. I am excited to celebrate our commitment publicly but in the end, the dress and the cake (well, maybe not the cake, Jodie’s a damn good baker) are unnecessary. It feels liberating to know that there’s only one thing that matters (not counting the cake) and that’s the vows.
3. I’m gonna live forever! Oh wait, no, that’s not the realization that is driving my quarter-life crisis. I’ve realized that I am going to die. That’s right, I’m going to die and it’s scaring the shit out of me. It’s also motivating me. I have realized that I have just one chance on this planet and so I better do it big. I better give it my all and quit waiting around for something to happen. I want to accomplish crazy, stupid, irrelevant things. I want to build a pony out of sugar cubes and ride it to India. I want to accomplish the following things:
a. I want to buy silk in India
b. I want to watch real flamenco dancers in Spain
c. I want to see the monkey temple and celebrate the monkey festival in Thailand (thank you, Amazing Race, you’ve officially changed my life.)
d. I want to move to China and teach English.
e. I want to look a whale in the eye. (I know you’re down there, whale, big as a shopping mall. You think I don’t know, but I know.)
f. I want to get an MFA or an MLS or a PhD, but not an MBA.
g. I want to see a soccer game in Italy with Rollo.
BAM! I want to do everything and that’s all right because I’ve got time, but I shouldn’t wait for a sign. (There isn’t one coming. A whale will not come to my house to look me in the eye.) I should just get started.
4. Remember Medusa? Oh, sure you do. I’m sure that I’ve talked about Medusa to everyone. You’ve probably noticed the longing in my voice as I reminisce about my old critique group. Well, it’s born again! Okay, not exactly, but I have organized a critique group with some ladies and it feels great to be potlucking and critiquing and doing all that good writerly stuff again with a community of like-minded women. Very nice, I will have t-shirts made and they will be sold at our concerts.
5. Finally, last night we went to see The Black Rider. It’s the Tom Waits and William S. Burroughs musical. It was amazing! It was strange and unpleasant and brilliant and wonderful and very pleasing. If you get a chance, you should definitely go and see it. The cast is intensely talented and the writing is phenomenal (if you like that sort of thing). The music is wonderful (if you like that sort of thing) and the costumes are unbelievable. If you want to see it here in LA, but you are nervous about spending all that money on tickets, I recommend that you buy your tickets through HotTix or through Goldstar Events. People left during the intermission because they were so turned off by how strange it was. It was, in the great words of Damien, beautiful like an alien.
- Mood:hopped up on coffee
- Music:clickety-slick, clickety-click
1. Canning with Jenna, Jodie, and Jeanna. My goodness, who knew that putting fruit through a food mill could be so much fun!?!? My day with these three ladies was absolutely a blast. We drank beer, we spilled beer, we watched a Persian cartoon and a Turkish sitcom, we made delicious Spiced Pear Butter. I could not imagine a better way to spend a day with good friends. I am so grateful for their help in preparing for the wedding. Then, we went to Mao’s and ate delicious Chinese food! So, thank you, thank you, thank you, you really made my day off feel like a vacation!
2. Went to coffee with Allison. It was so great to talk to her about everything. It was nice to know that I didn’t need to worry about boring her with wedding details. We talked about all kinds of things and it was all wonderful. YEAH for Allison! Also, Allison offered a lot of REALLY helpful wedding advice for which I am grateful. In fact, I have already started implementing some of it.
3. HURRAH for Stitch N’ Bitch. If it weren’t for the knitting group, I think I’d lose my mind. It is so nice to go and see everyone and just feel completely comfortable for a little while. I can say the stupidest, most awkward things and still feel okay.
4. Also, Rollo is very, very good. He is kind and sweet and good. YEAH for Rollo!
5. I dig the Olympics. This is the first year that I’ve actually watched and it all started at a little Italian restaurant. Rollo and I were waiting for our take out order to be ready so we went into the bar and ordered a Negroni, which is Gin, Campari, and sweet vermouth. Mmm... delicious! Speed skating was on and just as the gin reached my brain, the song changed and the Danish skaters moved rhythmically to Dean Martin singing “Fly Me To The Moon” or something like that. It was beautiful. I’ve been hooked ever since.
6. So, I started this list and I’m realizing that there is so much to be grateful for. If I didn’t thank you above please know that I am full of gratitude to you. Really, what you did or said really meant a lot more to me than you realize.
Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.
- Mood: grateful
Four jobs in your life (best to worst):
1. Teacher at a preschool. I was one of the official potty trainers for an on-campus preschool at KU. We used sign language to communicate with the children because many of them were speech delayed. It was a lot of fun (and very gross) but very rewarding. I would come in during play time and help out through lunch and leave right as nap time was getting started. I learned a lot about children and adults. I also got every cold imaginable. Children are little germ sacks, but very cute so you let it slide.
2. Waitstaff at La Parilla, I loved that job. It was so much fun to get to know the regulars. I liked the fast pace of the restaurant and it really felt like a family environment. There were times when I hated my job (rude customers, smelling like tacos) but for the most part, it felt good to work so hard and I was in the best shape of my life. Also, I got to see Stephen Malkmus for free, a customer told me that they could either leave me a tip or put me on the list.
3. Marketing at Escape Adventures. Let me just start by saying that I loved the people when I worked there and I got to do a lot of creative fun work and I was given some great opportunities to challenge myself and have a lot of fun. I also made a lot of good friends. The company was poorly run. I worked with another guy and our roles were very poorly defined, we ended up not getting along very well because of this. By the time the whole thing was over, I was spending most of my days looking for a new job and eating Cheeto’s.
4. Telemarketing for SNET. I used to hang up my phone and cry but you don’t get to turn off your phone and take a break until its officially break time so you’d have to pull yourself together really fast. I would cry on my way to work because I didn’t want to go. It was the only job in my home town. Wal-Mart wouldn’t hire me so I spent one horrible, sad summer as a telemarketer.
Four movies you could watch over and over:
1. “Benny and Joon”
2. “Royal Tennanbaums”
3. “Moonstruck”
4. “Amelie”
Four TV Shows you love to watch:
1. "Law & Order: Criminal Intent"
2. "Arrested Development" (RIP)
3. "The Office"
4. "My Name Is Earl"
Four places you have lived:
1. Los Angeles
2. Las Vegas
3. Lawrence, Kansas
4. Fort Ashby West Virginia
Four places you have been on vacation:
1. Ireland
2. North Padre Island (worst “vacation” of my life)
3. Edisto Island, South Carolina
4. Minneapolis, MN
Four websites you visit daily:
1. google.com
2. horoscopes
3. gmail.google.com
4. mail.yahoo.com
Four of your favorite foods:
1. pizza
2. macaroni and cheese
3. collard greens
4. biscuits
Four places you'd rather be right now:
1. Chicago
2. Portland
3. home
4. Minneapolis
Your Four Favorite Types of Yarn:
1. Misti Alpaca
2. Noro Silk Garden
3. Alchemy Bamboo Silk (even with a discount I can’t afford it)
4. Socks That Rock
- Mood:
working - Music:none
I rode the bus to campus which was a pretty fun adventure. I forget sometimes that LA has a pretty good bus system, even if it isn’t the best in the country it can still get you from point A to point B if you give it time. I was confused at first but a very helpful girl helped me get the appropriate transfer and even walked me to the bus stop. I felt like an old woman but I was grateful for the help.
The class is interesting. The teacher is named Krusoe, he teaches at Antioch and wrote the novel, Iceland. He got pretty good reviews and Amis really likes his stuff. So he is good and I feel that his input will be valuable. Also, he has the most wonderful, bushy eyebrows, fantastic, splendid, two thumbs up for the wild eyebrows.
He began the class by identifying the types of short fiction that he will not accept as homework, not because he does not like but because he cannot write it himself and therefore feels that he has no business trying to teach it. So, I will not be allowed to write the following genres:
Fantasy, Sci-Fi, Romance, and best sellers. He told us that if he could write a best seller he would not be teaching the class but would be floating in his pool instead.
This does not bother me. I tend not to like genre fiction and I certainly have not plans to write it. To each his own right?
Also, we will all be getting a B. He says that we could die during the class and still get a B. We could win the Nobel prize and still a B. This is because he does not want us to write for the wrong reasons. He does not want us writing in an effort to please him so that we can earn a better grade. “Why not just give us all A’s?” a student asked.
“Because I don’t want for you to have delusions of grandeur,” he coolly replied, “besides, no real writer ever thought they deserved an A, you should always feel like you could do better. Except that guy who wrote Bridges of Madison County, I bet the thinks he should get an A.”
I like this guy already.
We went around the room and told everyone what we’re reading, what we like to write, and why we’re taking the class. The following is what I heard:
1) I’m not really sure why I’m even taking this class. I don’t really like to read. I don’t have the attention span for that sort of thing. I’d much rather be snowboarding or sky-diving! (I can only assume that she was hoping to downplay her writing so that when she blows our minds with her amazing short stories we will think to ourselves, “Man, and she doesn’t even want to be doing this!”)
2) I think reading is boring.
3) I’m so tired of reading other people’s books that I just want to get mine out there.
4) I like literature you know, the classics, English Literature, American Literature, some Asian Literature and you know, the good stuff.
5) I don’t really like to read but I’m definitely a creator. I feel like I have so many ideas and they’re just coming out of me so really any way that I can find to let those out is a total godsend to me.
When it came to me, I didn’t really want to say anything. I just wanted to be left alone so I explained that I had been a very active writer and then I stopped, just stopped. I listed books that I’m reading currently and got it over with.
When it was over, the teacher explained to the class that this community college class was not the only thing standing between them and a major publishing deal and that they would not leave the class as good writers, they might leave as better writers but it would be years and years before they could be really good.
I have become that girl with a one track mind. Everything that I think falls back to the wedding or the honeymoon but I am keeping it to myself as best I can. I am asking more questions and listening harder until... I explode and the wedding comes gushing out of me and I want to pull it all back in because I know that none of these people want to hear the details of why we chose one invitation over another or how we found the florist.
I feel that I am growing larger and taking up more space than I should. I am getting louder and stranger and I am uncertain of how to stop the expansion but it must stop. I must keep saying yes and no, yes and no. I will keep it to myself and then, when I am through this I will say, “see, that was not so bad, that was not so hard”. And really, it wasn’t.
In more ordinary news, I begin a writing class tonight. Rollo got it for me as a Christmas present. I am nervous about it. I feel completely unable to tell a story. I want to pretend to have the flu and stay home to watch television but that is a bad way to say thank you for a gift.
It is only a matter of time before I feel like myself again. I just need to keep moving.
- Mood:awkward
- Music:none
I have obsessive compulsive (dis)order. This is not a problem for me. I don’t mind touching all of the locks before I go to bed at night. My tiny notebooks full of lists do not bother me. Still, my tendencies are becoming obvious to others and things are being said.
Here’s an example, yesterday at work, I popped an entire sheet of bubble wrap at my desk with a push pin. “Why a push pin?” you might ask. Well, because it was too loud when I was using my fingers to pop the bubbles and you have to pop the entire sheet of bubbles at once, you cannot wait and pop some now and some later. It is wrong to wait, it is very wrong to pop only part of them or to roll them up and pop a bunch at once. It is even more wrong to pop them willy nilly. This must never be done. What if you miss one and it doesn’t get popped because of your carelessness? This is why you must start at one end of the sheet and work your way to the other end, systematically. A coworker complained about the noise, asked me to stop, so I got the push pin because you can’t just stop.
This is a fairly minor example, I am full of odd habits and rituals and I try to keep them at a minimum but it doesn’t always work. Sometimes, you really do have to record the same information in three places just in case it gets lost from one. Sometimes, it is important that you do not step on any cracks. Even if you are knitting and walking at the same time.
Rollo says, “go to bed, do not touch the doorknob. You know that door is locked” but I don’t know. And then, what if I accidentally unlocked it while I was touching it to make sure that it was locked!?!? What if someone comes into our house and eats the bread and takes the television all because of my carelessness?!?!
Wedding planning has intensified my obsessive compulsive behaviors. I am telling myself “no” a lot. I am stopping myself from calling people and talking about minute details. It’s a lot of “you will only do this once and then you will walk away.”
There, I said it. I’m not ashamed but I am concerned. I am trying to keep it under control. Right now it is driving me to function. I just need to be sure that I don’t let it drive me to dysfunction.
- Mood: satisfied
- Music:quiet is good
Lists for you.
Things I would like to improve about myself:
1. be a better listener, stop cutting people off
2. ask more questions and listen to the answers
3. be more dependable
4. be more of a safe haven for those who need me
5. be healthier in my eating habits and exercise routine
Things I think are just swell about me:
1. I genuinely care about the well-being of others
2. I am generous
3. I am kind
4. I am open
5. I am a hard-worker
Things I would like to learn to do:
1. bake amazing bread
2. dance like a bollywood movie star
3. make furniture
4. walk through my apartment in the dark without feeling afraid
5. spin (thread)
Things I could teach someone else to do:
1. knit
2. sew a nifty tote bag
3. make soap that looks like a cupcake or jell-o
4. say filthy things about people's mothers in Spanish
5. shelve a book at the library
for you: i miss you. i have not heard from you and i kept thinking you would call. you should call. i am being too stubborn to call you but i would love to hear your voice.
- Mood:
pensive - Music:LA night noises
made a stained glass panel, sewed a period costume based on a picture and a pattern that I made myself. I made soap and all kinds of jam, I read at a friend’s wedding, I worked at a yarn store, I went to a Chinese New Year parade, I saw the blessing of the animals, this was a very full year.
2. Did you keep your new years' resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
I don’t believe in making resolutions. Continuance is my big goal every year, just keep going.
3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
not really, my room mate’s son and his girlfriend had a little boy and my friend just announced that she’ll be having a little girl in 2006.
4. Did anyone close to you die?
my Uncle Jimmy passed away.
5. What countries cities did you visit?
Las Vegas
Chicago
Newark
Kansas City
Baltimore
Centreville, VA
6. What would you like to have in 2006 that you lacked in 2005?
more sleep, more time with friends, more traveling, writing
7. What dates from 2005 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
August 3, that’s the day that Rollo proposed to me.
8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
the lacey, huge blanket that I knit for Rollo’s parents
9. What was your biggest failure?
not being as dependable as I’d like to be, canceling plans because I didn’t schedule things well enough. Not being as kind and caring as I’d like to be.
10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
only a strange allergy or stress tick that makes my left eyelid spasm occasionally.
11. What was the best thing you bought?
yarn, books, plane tickets
12. Whose behaviour merited celebration?
My niece Brooke has grown up to be such a cool, caring person. I’m really proud of her.
13. Whose behaviour made you appalled and depressed?
george w. bush
14. Where did most of your money go?
rent, student loans, debt destruction, yarn
15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
going East for my best friend from high school’s wedding, planning my upcoming wedding
16. What song will always remind you of 2005?
Masterfade by Andrew Bird
17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
a) happier or sadder? About the same
b) thinner or fatter? About the same
c) richer or poorer? About the same
18. What do you wish you'd done more of?
reading, writing, sleeping, spending time with friends
19. What do you wish you'd done less of?
watching television, playing snood
20. How will you be spending Christmas?
I’ll be in Utah with the parental units, we will watch made for TV movies and work on my wedding dress.
22. Did you fall in love in 2005?
over and over again
23. How many one-night stands?
0
24. What was your favorite TV program?
law and order: criminal intent, arrested development
25. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?
I don’t really hate people
26. What was the best book you read?
the god of small things
27. What was your greatest musical discovery?
m. ward and Andrew Bird
28. What did you want and get?
engaged
29. What did you want and not get?
out of debt
30. What was your favorite film of this year?
Batman Begins, Wallace and Gromit, Good Night and Good Luck (come to think of it, those might be the only movies that I saw in the theatres)
31. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
I turned 23. I watched the Labyrinth, ate black-eyed peas and collard greens, walked the canals in Venice, watched dolphins play, ate princess cake and drank pink champagne, drank fancy drinks in Hollywood and danced myself around while watching old betty page films. Oh yeah, it was a good birthday!
32. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
writing, being kinder and listening better
33. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2005?
stop spending so much money on clothing that was made for pennies.
34. What kept you sane?
what’s your definition of sane
35. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
Was this quiz written by a Brit? Did anyone else catch the spelling of “behaviour” earlier? I refuse to answer this silly English question. But, while we’re on the topic, I think that Mo Rocca is dreamy and Sufjan Stevens makes me swoon.
36. What political issue stirred you the most?
the war, the corruption
37. Who did you miss?
all the friends who have moved or who I’ve moved away from. I sure do miss you.
38. Who was the best new person you met?
I met many, many best new people this year and I loved them all.
39. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2005:
It’s not always about making the “right” decision. Sometimes it’s just about making a decision so you can start moving again.
40. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year:
”It’s not that I just didn’t care I must admit I was afraid.”
- Music:work
I am freaking out. I am constantly on the verge of panic attack and I am crying at the slow music scenes of sitcoms. (Yes, when Sophia tells Dorothy on the golden girls that it doesn’t matter what the blood tests say, she’ll always be her mother, I’ve got a tear in my eye.) This too shall pass. I just need to stay as calm as possible and let it pass. There is no need for evacuation. January will come and the world will start over. January will come and I will say no to some things and yes to others and it will feel right again. I am saying no and yes. I will keep saying no and yes.
I am regretting things I have done and then remembering that I decided that regret is indecent. So then, if I don’t regret these things, do I embrace them? I am digging in the piles of laundry and down through scribbled journal entries trying to find the me that I feel I am, was, will be. This is not an easy time for me. I will giggle too loud because, because, because... this is a normal, natural part of life. This is a growth spurt and you have to expect growing pains and stretch marks. You have to expect a few awkward moments and at least one misguided attempt to “end it all” (we’re not talking suicide here people, more like quitting my job to raise yaks.).
But it will pass, the way that Freshman year passed, the way that all things pass. This will become another fuzzy moment, another series of stories that I will retell myself with certain details altered or removed for the my protection or the protection of the innocent.
So don’t look away when I laugh too loud and don’t act uncomfortable when I cry in public. It’s only a phase I’m going through, it’s only another time that I’m getting through this, a day and a day and day and a day. Thank my lucky stars.
- Mood:
stressed - Music:typing sounds
1: I wanted to be an opera singer in high school.
2: I’ve seen Ani Difranco in concert, twice.
3: I went to Lilith Fair
4: I skipped fifth grade (sort of, I really went to half of fifth grade and half of sixth grade)
5: I was disqualified from the science fair because of my methods (apparently, you’re supposed to get the help of a professional when you’re growing germs)
6: I played Maria in my high school’s production of West Side Story
7: I sang the national anthem at every home basketball game in high school
8: I was almost named Alice but my parents decided to name me after my mother’s mother instead.
9: I missed a test in college because I was busy protesting tuition hikes
10: I worked in a science and government document library for nearly a year
NINE places I’ve visited
1: Ireland
2: Arkansas
3: New York
4: Minneapolis
5: Connecticut
6: San Diego
7: New Jersey
8: Virginia
9: Chicago
EIGHT ways to win my heart
1: Beer.
2: Bubble bath.
3: Quirky sense of humor.
4: Be willing to work (like canning things with me or any other crazy, work-intensive project that I concoct.)
5: Don’t get mad at me when I laugh too loud in the restaurant.
6: love monkeys.
7: Be honest.
8. appreciate the importance of a good porch, a quiet evening, and a cold beer.
SEVEN things I want to do before I die
1: See a whale
2: Watch Flamenco dancers in Spain
3: Buy silk in India
4: Have a yard with three chickens, two dogs, and maybe a tortoise.
5: Knit that big intarsia rolling cloud sweater in Rowan.
6: Teach someone to read.
7: Give more.
SIX things I’m afraid of
1: The dark.
2: no seriously, the dark is a big fear for me. I get all panicky.
3: traffic accidents
4: debt
5: Scientology.
6: no seriously, scientology is a big fear for me. I get all panicky.
FIVE things I don't like
1: Mean people.
2: safety pins, I know that they’re useful but they make me feel weird.
3: dishonesty.
4: SUV’s.
5: the wedding industry.
FOUR ways to turn me off
1: Lie.
2: Be cruel to an animal or a child.
3: loudly express conservative republican views.
4: dislike beer.
THREE Things I do everyday
1: fight the urge to take a nap
2: consume some sort of caffeinated beverage
3: knit.
TWO things that make me happy
1: knitting
2: a good, solid giggle.
ONE thing on my mind right now
1: the wedding. (in a good way)
I’m in the middle of my quarter-life crisis. I am freaking out because I’m realizing that the thing that I thought I really, really wanted to do, I only want to do as a hobby. That’s right. I love the work but I hate the fashion industry. I’ve been doing some freelance knitting work and I’ve even made some hand puppets and the whole thing has brought me to one conclusion: I don’t like doing creative work for other people. This is because you are never going to do exactly what they wanted and you are never going to be paid what you’re worth. It don’t like the industry. I would rather knit and pattern make for myself. Which leads me to this question: What the hell am I going to do with my life?
Okay, so, granted, I’m 23. I’ve got plenty of time to figure these things out but up until I graduated from college I always had a plan. Now, I have only a very rudimentary concept.
So, what do you do when you find yourself in this situation? Well, I decided to ask myself the Office Space question, “What would you do with the rest of your life if you won a million dollars?” Wow, the answer to that question for me was easy. I would live my lifelong dream of owning a children’s bookstore. Okay, but I haven’t won a million dollars and Borders or Barnes and Noble would rip my little dream to shreds. Well, I got to thinking about what I love about the idea of owning a Children’s bookstore. It’s the books and the children, not the store itself. I love the idea of organizing story time and introducing children to a new world through books. I like the idea of arranging guest authors and community events. So, forget the store. Where could I do all this? A library.
You read that right. I think I want to be a librarian which means that I will need to get a Master’s Degree in Library Science (perhaps I will find my long lost ability to punctuate in grad school). It’s still in the rollin’ around in my noggin’ stage but it looks good to me. I’m contacting some librarians that I know and that other friends know. I’ve signed up to volunteer at my local library so now we’ll see how it goes.
NOTE: I will be at Stitch ‘N’ Bitch this coming Tuesday. I will have my mom and my future mother-in-law with me. Please behave.
how could I say no when my whole person said yes?
2. What's the best part of living in the City of Angels?
Definitely the variety and the culture. Los Angeles is a huge city and it’s an amazing place. A friend of mine once described LA as a somewhat volatile sociological experiment. He meant that there are so many different kinds of people in one place and so many different nationalities and different socioeconomic classes. I love LA for its variety. I love the you can take one street from one end of the LA to the other and see seven different languages on the signs. I love the neighborhoods. I love Chinese New Year parades and Day of the Dead celebrations. I love the blessing of the animals and the lotus festival. I love the pupuserias and watching classic movies in a cemetery. I love going to see the Dodgers play and I love the ocean.
3. Are there any customs or practices you hold on to from childhood?
My family isn’t very ritual oriented. I was always trying to start traditions and rituals in my home but it never worked. Still, I catch myself picking up the traits of my family. My mom used to sing to me every night before bed and I do the same for my nieces and nephews. My mom’s side of the family knits and I’ve taken that up with a vengeance. We’re all a bunch of jokers. I guess the thing that I’ve picked up most is my craftiness. I come from crafty people. My father welds sculptures and builds things. Napping is also a family custom. Does that count?
4. It's usually difficult to pick one, so who are two little known or commonly overlooked musical genuiuses/gems etc., you listen to? This is three, I can count, I want to name three. Andrew Bird- brilliant, M. Ward- beautiful, Tom Brosseau- wonderful.
5. What's so great about poetry, anyway?
I sometimes wonder what it is about the written word in general that gets me so excited. I think it’s the attempt to express existence. Poetry is really about expressing the hidden aspects of the everyday, the magic of life. Even when you tell a seemingly simple story in poetry, you’re trying to communicate more than the story, you’re communicating what makes the story so important. When you can tell something in poetry that shows the reader and makes the reader feel the waves coming in and out or the heat of the desert then you have done more than communicated, you have transferred experience. Pablo Neruda believed that was his calling in life. To bring the ocean to those who would never see it. That’s what’s so great about poetry, anyway! ;)
Your Linguistic Profile: |
60% General American English |
15% Yankee |
10% Dixie |
10% Upper Midwestern |
5% Midwestern |
002. I will respond; I'll ask you five questions.
003. You'll update your journal with my five questions, and your five answers.
004. You'll include this explanation.
005. You'll ask other people five questions when they want to be interviewed.
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peigioneil- Peigi O'Neil
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