| there is desperation and then there is desperation |
[Oct. 14th, 2008|02:23 am] |
Tonight I saw a quarreling couple on Park Avenue while hanging out outside the venue for Marijo St.Amour's film screening. At a certain point the very intoxicated man took a swing at the woman. I was about 50 or 60 feet away but I started to move toward them thinking that I had to do something. I got halfway there and stopped, feeling a little scared and wondering if getting in the middle of this argument was dangerous. It only took me 20 seconds but they were still arguing so I decided that I probably could break it up without getting swung at myself, and even if I did, there were about a dozen people outside the screening who I felt would back me up.
I walked up and got between the man and woman, facing him with my hands held up in the air and said "you really don't need to hit her. you really should just walk away and take some time". He immediately told me it was none of my business and that i had to get out of his way and that she ruined his life and they'd been together 14 years, etc. etc. Lots of alcohol was drifting off of him. At the same time I could hear the woman saying that she wanted to go home, that he'd hit her and broken her cell phone, that he had threatened her life. She was crying. By this point the folks in front of the venue had noticed what was going on and were moving towards me to back me up.
I kept replying to his commands that I go away and that it was none of my business: "I don't care what your argument is, it's just time for her to go home and for you to go home and it's not okay for you to hit her."
Others were creeping in between to create even more space between the couple. I asked her if she had a safe place to go, a place that he didn't have keys to. She said yes, her own home. He refused to go away or give up, apparently because she was his ride home. I got him to agree to let her go if I drove him home. We all got her into her car and I gave her my name and number and told her that if she chose to make a police report when she got home that I would be a witness.
Then we were all left with this aggressive, drunken abuser who i'd promised to drive home. Basically, I didn't end up driving him home (THANK GOD!). Instead, an argument erupted amongst the leftists in front of the venue as to how to handle the guy... put him in a cab, call the cops, just leave him be and walk away? At the same time I started to feel the shaky fear that I hadn't felt walking into the situation since now the abusive fellow's attentions were mainly fixed on me. It was around then that the police showed up (someone had called them) and we all retreated indoors after related the bare basics to them (I don't think there was anyone there who would spend a second more with a cop than they absolutely had to).
All said and done, Margo's new film was lovely and Tobi and I got to hang out with our friend Za who just moved back to Montreal after living in Spain for 10 years. |
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| direct quote when talking about moving tobi into their new apartment. |
[Oct. 13th, 2008|05:54 pm] |
Dad: Did you all do the heavy lifting?
Angie: Don't the girls always do the heavy lifting?
Dad: They do around me. |
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| uum de ya da |
[Oct. 12th, 2008|10:35 pm] |
Tonight I had my first cello lesson with my new montreal-based cello teacher. Her name is Tyr and she is the cello player for the winks. The lesson was at her beautiful and gigantic apartment (6 bedrooms for 6 roommates, amazing stained glass, hardwood floors and hardwood moldings, beautiful porch). At the end of the lesson I ran into one of her roommates who just so happened to be SALLY LEE! Surprise surprise! Canada is so small sometimes. Friends from one end of the country find each other again on the other side. We had a nice chat in her kitchen, a chance to catch up on the last few months.
I have been spending so much time working (this week has been really intense at work) and helping both my mother and Tobi around their respective houses that I haven't had much time to do something for myself, something without stress. Cello can be all about doing something entirely outside of myself and entirely about time with myself.
At this moment, feeling a little rejuvenated from the lesson, I've put together the following list of things that I would like to try doing this winter (all things that are about engaging in things I *want* to do rather than what I *must* do):
- make a quilt
- learn to make a super 8 film
- plan my springtime garden
- paint that last big canvas that's been in my parent's basement for 5 years
- make some clothes for myself and, in the process, learn more about sewing.
- read. a lot.
Ryan has been visiting for the last few days. It's been comforting to have some Vancouver folks around. He's such a fun fella. Too bad I had so much work and was unable to hang out more.
oh well. |
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| pumped a lot of 'tane down in new orleans |
[Oct. 2nd, 2008|08:36 am] |
I fell down some concrete stairs yesterday while carrying a drafting table for tobi. It was brutal and my already terrible back is now feeling even worse and I've got two brutal bruises across my back (both are comically in straight lines, marking the place where i landed across the edges of 2 steps).
So I've decided to spend the day at home working and watching movies. |
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| out in the field |
[Sep. 30th, 2008|10:43 pm] |
Another brutal end of the month is finally done. I feel like my chest cavity has been hollowed out and all that's left of me is a sore back and big belly. I can't wait to spend a day OUT OF THE FUCKING HOUSE for the first time in more than a week.
Oh and I missed the Swamp Sex Robots show because of work. Definitely unhappy about that one. |
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| ih un du |
[Sep. 26th, 2008|12:08 pm] |
Tobi and I went to see this documentary at Cinema du Parc last night. It's called "Leaving the Fold" and it's about Hasidic Jews who have left the Orthodox community. It was directed by a friend of my sister's and it was really interesting.
the best part? The soundtrack provided by Basya Schechter:
Other than that, i am currently in my end-of-the-month work blitz wherein I work 10+ hours everyday. |
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| lack of oxygen to the brain causes disorientation |
[Sep. 24th, 2008|11:21 pm] |
The current playlist of thoughts in my brain:
1. I want to make a quilt this winter.
2. Craiglist is my new obsession. I can't stop checking to see what crap is being advertised.
3. trying to remember that bad body image days pass and eventually i'll feel better
4. Tobi is incredible and irresistible.
5. It pleases me to no end how my dad and Thurston the cat are bonding. Dad likes to call the cat "Arnold" for some reason.
6. i really want to get back into taking weekly cello lessons, asap.
7. csi: NY and way too much of it.
8. unending cravings for tea pot after tea pot of chai with vanilla soy....which has led to obsessive searches for what I like to call tea porn (i.e. reading about various specialty loose leaf teas and associated paraphernalia)
9. trying to make a super 8 film of my own.
10. growing a herb garden in window boxes...especially various kinds of mint (chocolate mint!) that i can harvest and make tea from.
11. wondering about going out versus staying in... feeling torn between wanting to be out and meeting people versus getting in as much family time as I possibly can before they move to P.E.I. Sometimes i get into a hermit-mindset and just want to be home all the time. I'm learning to be comfortable with that side of myself.
12. thinking about my sister Angie, her boyfriend Smitty and my parents moving away in the next few months. *take a deep breath now*
13. daydreaming about my new apartment and how I am going to arrange my new room. |
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| "To err is human, to forgive is divine." |
[Sep. 23rd, 2008|10:24 pm] |
This week is full of lessons and hardships... I think I am realizing that I am harder on myself than I need to be and that this only serves to make me unhappy. To keep me going I am spending a good amount of my time day dreaming and making plans... it balances out all the time I have to spend dealing with the hard realities of changes that are coming (whether I like it or not).
My first few weeks home have been pretty good though. Tobi and I are getting along smashingly and getting a lot done on the road to getting settled and set up here. We're spending lots of time with my family and that is really nice. I am trying to get in lots of time at home, while my home is still here. Tobi and I have had some lovely socials with new and old friends including a lovely lunch with Nora during which we got the low-down on lots of projects on the go in MTL, attending the opening for the Gender Alarm show at La Centrale Gallery curated by Coral Short (soooo many Vancouver people present at that party it was like being back in Vancouver for a night), supper with Anna and her beau at Santropol and a board game night with the whole crew over at Steph's place.
I miss my friends in Vancouver pretty hardcore. I find myself talking about Vancouver way too much. I am trying to concentrate on looking forward and not back. |
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| home is where the heart is |
[Sep. 14th, 2008|09:14 pm] |
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I found an apartment today, which is a worry off my shoulders. I'll be sharing a big place with 2 lovely folks on St.Joseph at St.Urbain. I'm feeling pretty positive about how things are working out. |
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| stuck in the middle with you |
[Sep. 12th, 2008|07:55 pm] |
After having given up my apartment in Vancouver, sold almost all my possessions and moved my life across the country, I am currently living at my parents place... along with Tobi, our cat Thurston, my sister and her boyfriend. All 6 of us living here together. One big, ridiculously, comically happy family.
Needless to say, the apartment hunt is on. |
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| we drove in silence across pont champlain |
[Sep. 11th, 2008|11:59 am] |
As of yesterday, Tobi and I live in Montreal.
That was one hell of a move. |
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| Half in, half out. |
[Aug. 21st, 2008|09:44 am] |
I have returned from a last minute trip to P.E.I. and Montreal. Whirlwind indeed. Now I am in a total and complete rush to get my apartment packed and ready for tomorrow night's going away shindig. Here's a post I was working on before I left Vancouver last Tuesday, enjoy!
****
Recent hi points in my life:
- Jessie and Adrian's wedding was incredible. They were married on the St.Roch, a decommissioned RCMP boat that used to sale the arctic, but is now encased inside the maritime museum in Vanier park. They were on the boat and all the guests watched from the museum floor, which is roughly water level. The decor was lovely and all sea-themed, including their INCREDIBLE light house cake. Jessie look positively brilliant in her gown and I got a little over-whelmed when watching them embrace as the photographer took their picture against the background of sunset over the water. I made a small speech during the reception which, to give you the main point of the thing, was about how Jessie and Adrian are an excellent couple that I know will do well because they share enthusiasm for each other's adventures and get involved in each other's shinanigans. Had fun DJing the dance party, perhaps a little too much fun. The dance floor was the lower level of the museum, basically all around the hull of the St.Roch, which was an amazing backdrop. Prawns, Rambles, Tobi and I basically took over the dance floor by the end of the night. The acrobatics were legendary.
After the party ended, we didn't want to go home. Prawns, Rambles and I took a couple bottles of white wine and found a spot in the park outside the maritime museum, with a view of the water and downtown. By the light of the downtown hi-rises and the now-closed museum, we drank and played music on my laptop. Eventually prawns got naked and tried to climb the museum, but settled for climbing a 2 storey submarine next to the museum instead. Eventually I got home with all my possession in tow, although my glasses were broken.
The hangover was epic.
pictures!
Me, dancing under the boat.
Rambles looking sultry.
Me, Tobi and Rambles in from of the St.Roch.
Hopefully I'll get my hands on a bride and groom picture soon! Oh and I have yet to tell the tales of the stagette!
- I went to Under the Volcano yesterday and I believe it is one of the most incredible festivals I have ever been to. I feel incredibly inspired by all the amazing activists that I spoke to and all the projects that I learned about. It renewed my motivation and has set me firmly on a path of deeper involvement once I land in Montreal. I am thinking that I want to check out No One Is Illegal when in Montreal and work some more on projects related to land-based struggles (i.e. issues relating to indigenous rights and Immigrant rights here in Canada and worldwide).
The other fantastic thing about UTV was that so many of my very good friends were there and it made me so happy to be there. And there was ridiculously good food (VEGAN TOFU PIZZA JERK! VEGAN CHI-CAKE!) and lovely crafters. I purchased a lovely writing book and some very beautiful head bands
- I have been spending a massive amount of time with Graham and that is so good. So very very good for my soul.
- My landlord is a very scary person, completely motivated by greed. The market in Vancouver is so inflated that he is just giddy about me moving out since it means that he can increase the rent he charges for this place, after 4 years being stuck with me at $884, to $1100. After seeing the big response he got from folks positively desperate for housing he lamented to me that he should have asked $1500 because he likely could have got it. UGH. What a doucebag. He is also extremely controlling and always ends conversations with comments that re-assert the power dynamic of our relationship, i.e. that he is THE BOSS. Dealing with him right now is immensely un-pleasant and it's taking a very negative toll on my mental health. It is basically the worst part of this entire move. It is also driving home to me the fact that I MUST work towards a state of self-determination that gets me out from underneath the thumb of people like my landlord. I am tired of living in a home owned by someone else who is only interested in taking advantage of me and exercising power over me. I also need to stop working under people like this and get into a place of complete self-employment.
- I am departing tomorrow on a 7 day trip to Prince Edward Island, as I do every August. I am looking forward to the relaxed pace of life and hope that this will stop the terrible anxiety and stress that I have been having these last 2 weeks. Spending time with my family will hopefully calm me and re-affirm my commitment to this move back to Montreal.
- Work and money continue to be stressful and confusing but manageable.
- Went to the Project 8 screening at VIVO new media arts centre on Saturday night. I was completely romanced by the gorgeous super 8 short films that people had made. I am suddenly really interested in trying to make one of my own. I already have a couple ideas that I hope to explore this fall. Now I just have to get my hands on a camera....
- My tattoo is one session away from being finished. This will be the end of over a year's worth of work (from drawings to realization), at least 7 sittings and over 18 hours of tattooing.
- I am DJing a party at a bath house next week. How fucken rad is that?
- I did my last shift at spartacus books this past week. Spartacus was where I made my first connections to this community. It will be one of the most important things I will miss when I leave Vancouver. I wish I could watch it grow even more, but it's time to let go. At least I know that the place is in excellent care... the collective is full of amazing folks. |
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| Mark you calenders |
[Aug. 2nd, 2008|12:59 pm] |
Tobi and Laura Boo's going away party will be held August 22nd.
Details to follow. |
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| for those who accept, for those who are kept. |
[Jul. 23rd, 2008|06:27 pm] |
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i want to have the time to spend all day practicing the art of putting on makeup.... instead I look like shit because I'm getting only 5 hours of bad, stressful sleep each night because I'm working 12+ hours each day. |
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| is it medicine or social scare? |
[Jul. 17th, 2008|03:14 pm] |
I am knee-deep in research for work, digging through mountains of documents looking for names and dates, names and dates, names and dates. Moved my work over to the breezy and sunshiney front desk at Spartacus Books, doing my third shift in 3 days. Over-committed? Perhaps.
Finally mailed my letter to my prison pen-pal in California. That letter sat on my desk, half finished, making me feel like a terrible procrastinating deadbeat for about a month! Oy. I hope that he forgives me and writes me back.
I ran into Hugs on the street yesterday on my way to mail the above-mentioned letter. We talked for about 20 minutes about such silliness that eventually Hugs had soda-pop-slushie spurting out of her mouth as she couldn't hold her laughter in. That's the general reaction I get when trying to talk to people about my dating habits. Oy.
I love living in a neighborhood where I run into my friends on the way to the post box and I can walk to concerts at a friend's house 4 blocks away. Separation anxiety much? Yes.
I had a lovely supper date with Tobi and Graham last night, followed up with a science-fiction film at home and a sleepover. Graham has been staying over at the house at least once a week for the last month or so and it's been a pure pleasure to have him hanging out. It's gotten so casual feeling that it's like he's an extremely-part-time roommate.
Tonight I am going to attempt making a vegetarian "meat"loaf with mashed yams... truly your classic north american diner...except gone organic/vegetarian! I'll let y'all know how it works out.
Also of note, I have been asked to DJ at next week's F.O.D. Glam Rock Party, which has me hella excited. My set should be around 11:10 until 12:20.
Oh, and finally, happy 8 YEAR LIVEJOURNAL ANNIVERSARY TO ME! can you believe I have been writing in this thing for that long? Geez. It's a pretty weird journey from 19 to 27.
Date created: 2000-07-16 07:49:58
Journal entries: 3,214
Comments Posted: 15,601
Comments Received: 17,881 |
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| holy moses i have been deceived |
[Jul. 16th, 2008|02:00 pm] |
Aretha Franklin crushes my soul under the weight of her incredible voice. I like to listen to her music and pretend i'm a backup singer, performing what I imagine to be choreographed moves to the music (a la motown classic performances).
Spent last night on the front porch of Billy's place, celebrating his 25th birthday with a huge spread of summer bbq food and a bunch of really rad and hilarious people. Sometimes I love to sit back, get quiet (yes, it is possible for me to be quiet) and listen to everyone's comical banter back and forth. It's especially easy when the view is as incredible as the one from Billy's porch... sunset light across the huge cargo container cranes along the docks with the mountains in the background. And once the sun finally disappears completely, the lights all along the towers jut out from the background lights of north vancouver. Wow and then wow again.
I loved the story about Carrie and Jen L. writing notes, attaching them to parachute toy soldiers and then standing on the pedestrian overpass above the train yards, letting them drop onto the trains, hoping for them to be found by hobo circus punks and not CN officers.
This morning I hung out with Emma at Spartacus Books. Emma is positively charming. She has a way of describing people in very few words, but completely conveying the essence of her point. Also while there, I met an amazing zinester visiting from Montreal (she writes Ms. Guided). We exchanged contact information and she seemed stoked on hooking me up with information about some fun projects and art spaces when I move back in a month and a half. SWEET. |
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| ain't none of your business |
[Jul. 15th, 2008|06:54 pm] |
Went to the Punch show at the Chateau Noir last night. I could hear the music as soon as I turned the alleyway corner. When I got inside the house it was like a drunken, sweaty heat wave, everyone crammed into the living room and hallway, beer flying as bodies moved excitedly with the music. It was a great show. I do love house shows, not just because of the bands, but because of the spectacle of the people.
Afterwards L.Mar, Jessi and I walked back to my place in order to smoke shisha on the back fire escape, drink a bottle of wine (and a few beers when that ran out) and talk. Lots of discussion about poly, the nature of friendships in the light of anger and disfunction, 101 ways to not kill yourself, being fat / wishing there was more fat activism in Vancouver (and also mused about how rad it would be if fat activism got into the high schools and turned things around for people there), taking T, slapping/flogging/caning, the state of cabaret and burlesque performance in Vancouver and a bunch of other jolly fun things to talk about at 2am.
On top of my chronic back pain, now my leg is starting to cause me lots of pain on a regular basis. Last night I was limping pretty badly. I really can't wait until I am back in a province where I have some medical coverage so that I can start talking to a doctor about what the fuck is wrong with my body.
Now I'm in the bookstore, eating a divine salad, talking with customers and listening to Charles Mingus. I am also debating what to read next: some more of the microcosm zines we just got or the copy of The Sound and the Fury that I just bought for $4 off a street vendor....
Oh, and this is the best new music in my life right now:
The Dynamics:
Seven Nation Army
Whole Lotta Love |
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| Whole Lotta Love |
[Jul. 13th, 2008|04:28 pm] |
CALL FOR SUBMISSIONS
Sticky & Sweet: A Zine of Courtship Stories.
We are looking for your tales of romantic pursuit. Whether failed or successful, we all have stories of social acrobatics performed in order to charm a crush (whether it was you doing the pursuing or being pursued). Finding our ways into each other’s hearts, beds and lives can be a weird / romantic / elaborate / unlikely / cheesy / hilarious combination of master-planning and turn-of-fate.
We want to hear about:
• All the excuses and extravagant plans you made in order to find yourself in the same place at the same time as your crush.
• How you went from “just friends” to “more than friends”
• Your elaborate attempts to grab the attention of that hot librarian at your local branch.
• The weirdest / funniest / most romantic / scariest / most inept present you have ever given to or received from a potentially amorous acquaintance.
• The most perfect 1st date you’ve ever planned / been on.
• How everything just seemed to keep going wrong!
• The weird combination of unlikely circumstances that brought person A and person B together.
• That perfect mix tape you made and then sneakily left in their mailbox.
• How you went from making eyes at each other across the room to making out madly in the hallway closet.
• Let us reprint the best ask-you-out love letter (love email?) you ever received.
Your submission can be any length (but don’t get too carried away folks!), does not necessarily have to be written English and can be an essay or any other form of photocopy-able story-telling device (a comic, a flow chart, a cross-word puzzle, etc.)
Please send your courtship story to: theweddingofeverything (a.t.) gmail (d.o.t.) com.
If you would like to send your submission by post or deliver it in person, contact me by email and it can be arranged.
DEADLINE: Monday August 4, 2008
(that gives you all a little over 3 weeks) |
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| faster, stronger |
[Jul. 13th, 2008|03:46 am] |
I was booked at two different venues tonight and between them I DJ'ed for just about 7 hours.
T.I.R.E.D.
Now Thurston the cat and i are hanging out in my INCREDIBLY hot apartment, feeling like 2 little boiled chickens, dreaming about all the pretty straight boys at the activist wedding gig and all the hott TOPS at the lesbo-disco gig. All that and my favorite-person-to-get-sexy-with is sleeping because they wake up at 5:30am in order to get to their organic food market job.
yowsers and dang-nabbit.
How can a gal not be over stimulated under such circumstances? To send me over the top (as if all previously mentioned circumstances were not enough) I just riled myself up for 7 hours by playing a shit-ton of my favorite tunes. I danced behind the booth until I just felt like EXPLODING. I felt the music in my head, my stomach, my hips and my feet.
There is no possible way to feel sexier than to dance like no-one-is-watching and everyone-is-watching simultaneously. |
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| i kissed a girl and i liked it |
[Jul. 8th, 2008|04:12 pm] |
My work desk is in the livingroom in which there is also a large skylight. There's a certain time of day when the light concentrates like a beam and travels across the room like a hot iron. First it hits me across my back then shoulders then head, arms, hands and, annoyingly, my computer screen. Usually I am so driven forward by deadlines that I throw a shawl across my shoulders to keep them from burning and push forward thru the sweat in order to just get things done.
Today was a delicious day because, instead of roasting like a piece of worker meat in front of my screen, I had enough deadline leeway to retreat to my bedroom. I put the oscillating fan on high, put the needle down on AC/DC's classic "Back In Black" and rolled around in my bed reading a zine with the fan's breeze tickling my toes and sneaking up my skirt. Eventually I'd listened to both sides of the album and read some passages that made me nostalgic for places i haven't even left yet and then I slowly slipped into a light, summer nap, listening to people talking on the street below my open window. I woke up and I was holding my own hand, one arm twisted around the other.
Definitely much better than a 9 to 5 at an office downtown.
oh, and the other major perk of working from home: substituting coffee breaks with masturbation breaks.
Read it if you can:
JournalSong #6 |
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