Patchworking

There are so many things that I want to share and talk about, but I don't have anyone here to share them with.

Sometimes I feel like that Crazy Cat Lady with a million Ferns.

Not that there's anything wrong with that.

Got this from a girlfriend in Washington state, where I just moved from. It's so true, and I miss it there so much!

......................

God was missing for six days. Eventually, Michael, the archangel, found him, resting on the seventh day.

He inquired, 'Where have you been?'

God smiled deeply and proudly pointed downwards through the clouds, 'Look, Michael. Look what I've made.'

Archangel Michael looked puzzled, and said, 'What is it?'

'It's a planet,' replied God, 'and I've put life on it.. I'm going to call it Earth and it's going to be a place to test Balance.'

'Balance?' inquired Michael, 'I'm still confused.'

God explained, pointing to different par ts of earth. 'For example, northern Europe will be a place of great opportunity and wealth, while southern Europe is going to be poor. Over here I've placed a continent of white people, and over there is a continent of black people. Balance in all things.'

God continued pointing to different countries. 'This one will be extremely hot, while this one will be very cold and covered in ice.'

The Archangel, impressed by God's work, then pointed to a land area and said, 'What's that one?'

'That's Washington State , the most glorious place on earth. There are beautiful mountains, rivers and streams, lakes, forests, hills, and plains. The people from Washington Stat e are going to be handsome, modest, intelligent, and humorous, and they are going to travel the world. They will be extremely sociable, hardworking, high achieving, carriers of peace, and producers of software.'

Michael gasped in wonder and admiration, but then asked, 'But what about balance, God? You said there would be balance.'

God smiled, 'There' s another Washington. Wait till you see the idiots I put there.

I've found a new drink - Naked's Watermelon Chill. 100% organic white grape juice with watermelon and limes. OMG, refreshing - and good for you.

Started the new job today. I think it will be fun there. The people seem really friendly, much like my last place, and I jumped right in to help out today. Might have been a little eager, but didn't think much of it. It was a little much to be on my feet so long without my supportive shoes, as they're in the middle of my car which is still packed with all my earthly belongings. Regardless, I'm going to dig them out in the morning so I can be sure to have a better day tomorrow.

Got my new housing assignment today, and I get to move in on Wednesday. For those of you who need to reach me, I'm only reachable by phone until the Intarwebs get installed - or if I can leet haxxor a neighbor's internet connection. Won't know until I get there. Halfway hoping that I get Wednesday off to move in, but then again, might be nice to have the weekend to get settled. Lots to do.

Even with all the new things going on here, I'm still getting excited about the new things ahead, and the new places I'll be going. The future's so bright, I gotta wear shades. ;D

So I've made the move to California. Ahem...Calee-fornyuh! I can't help but make fun of the Governator. It's just in my nature. :) "Get to dah choppah!! Eeeet's not a tumah!" Ha hahahaha.

Leaving Seattle was really hard, it reminded me, in many ways, of some of the other goodbyes I've had in the past two years. Good people are still there for me, and I miss them and their crazy antics. I'll get to see them again when we gather for our Geekfest in a few months, but it's just not the same.

Driving out of the state, I was reminded of the day 16 months ago that I arrived. I was in awe then of the mountains, and the huge pine forests, and the smell of the clean fresh air. As I passed Olympia and headed south, I drove with the windows down to breathe in that air again, and marveled at the landscape, my eyes misty as I bid goodbye to Rainier and all the great memories she'd given me. I passed a lumber train and recalled wondering what the oddly-shaped cars were for. I rounded Mt. Hood in Oregon and gazed again in wonderment at the beauty that the mountain provides. I've learned that I need to be someplace where there are mountains, or such things within driving distances.

Arriving in Redmond, where my family has a home that they opened for me, I found myself popping "GI Jane" and "Air Force One" into the VCR as I had in April of last year. Strangely comforting, and I now know that I search out those kinds of familiar things when I'm finding myself in unfamiliar territory. Made me feel better, and I'm smiling at myself for it.

While I was in Redmond for a couple of days, there was a HUGE thunderstorm that came through. I opened the back door and sat on the steps of the porch, watching over the river as the weather rumbled in over the mountains from the west. The lightning was magnificent in the open desert sky, and years ago you couldn't have caught me outdoors in this kind of thing. But I sat there, watching. The lightning got closer and closer, and began striking less than a mile from the place where I sat. The wind picked up and I went inside as the hail started. I didn't want to get wet. :)

As I took off from Redmond, the lightning was still striking, hitting just ahead of me (about 1/2 mile) and off to the side of the road. It startled me a little, but not the way it used to. Amazing how we grow and change. I was still a little spooked.

During my drive, I was listening to a series of books on CD. Cassie (one of my girlfriends in WA) had picked up the trilogy by Stephenie Meyer, 'Twilight', 'Eclipse' and 'New Moon'. We'd started listening to it in her car when we went for our exploratory drive out to Dungeoness Spit back a few months ago, and I admit that I hadn't really gotten into it that much. Teenage romance meets vampires? Blech. But the more that I listened, and was actually seeing these things in my head as I drove and heard the action, the more I liked it. I even got used to the narrator's voice, who wasn't reading some of the characters the way I thought of them - but I guess that's to be expected a bit. I found myself looking forward to getting back into the car to hear about the next adventure that Bella found herself in, or what Edward was going to do, or if Jasper was coming back, or if they found James. I'm now three discs into the second book, and while I have work to do tonight on the computer, I'm tempted to get the next disc into the CD player for me to fall asleep to - although I don't think I could fall asleep - I'd just stay up listening. :)

The drive into California was pretty uneventful. It's drier here than the Pac NW, and more brown, and hotter than sin. I'm staying at a hotel for the next couple of nights until my company gets my apartment in order, and I'm hoping I'll have a day off to move in. Not liking the idea of having all my earthly belongings staying in my car for a few days in a parking lot while I go to work, but I don't have much choice. I've covered everything over with my mattress pad and a few towels, hoping that works collectively to reflect the heat and dissuade any possible theft. Anything that's in there is replaceable, all my personal stuff is in the hotel with me. Still, I'll be a little unsettled until I have a semi-permanent place to lay my head.

I start the new job tomorrow. Done this a few times now, so I'm not nervous about it or anything. It'll be a learning curve, like anything else. If I could survive my first assignment, I can survive ANYTHING, and it's all good. This place should be fun, and it's close to fun things to do and see, so in my spare time I'll be out and about. Really looking more forward to that than anything else, honestly. The job's just money, and I'll get that regardless. It's the fun experience I want.

If anyone can offer suggestions regarding sturdy luggage, I'm all ears. Taking a big trip in the winter and I need something that can hold breakables on a plane.

I really don't want to leave. I love it here too much, and I don't want to move to some smoggy city.

I'm getting ready to leave this lovely apartment I've called home for the past year.

This has been a good place, I've got memories of my first Christmas alone here, and pumpkin carving with friends for Halloween on the deck, and the kitties downstairs who greet me after work each night.

One good thing to happen: my new neighbors have begun setting out fresh water and food for Big Fella, so I know he and his broken tail won't go hungry. Little Fuzz has been nowhere to be seen for the past week, and I think she's gone to the Great Kitty House in the Sky. I miss her. She used to let me pet her while she was eating, and we got along great.

The idea of packing up the house and loading the Honda full again feels so damn daunting - and I'm a little stressed in that I don't have a new contract yet. My recruiter is on vacation and while I have a replacement recruiter, it's not the same. So to say I'll be a little on edge until I get a contract signed is probably a ginormous understatement.

I'm going to really miss Seattle. Kind of wish I wasn't leaving. It's so beautiful here, and I like the people a lot. But there's no point in being a traveler if I'm not going to travel - right?

That said, there are big changes and challenges around the corner, and I think I need a good shakeup before I get to them, to prepare a little.

Going to sleep now. More packing or cleaning awaits me tomorrow.

I came home today to find new tenants in the apartment behind me dressed like two-dollar whores from Wal-Mart, with dyed ratted hair and arguing in the parking lot with some large tattooed man who had a t-shirt that said "G-Unit". Their unclothed, unshod child has been screaming out in the parking lot for the past 45 minutes.

I am now looking around for the polyester curtains and the redwood deck.

I'm learning and relearning every day how much I've changed over the past couple of years, and I'm really happy with who I am becoming.

I think I can actually say that I'm beginning to like myself again.

Woot. Go, me.

I took the day today to clean and get things in order. It's amazing how trashed my apartment can get in the span of 10 days. I only own what I can fit in my Honda, and it seems like EVERYTHING was out of place - at least that means I've been busy! Going to vacuum when I get done here, can't wait to feel clean carpet under my feet.

It's been cooler recently. I've got the next three days on at work, after which I have a 5 day weekend. Friday night is Bar Night with the girls from work, and Saturday I have a wedding to go to - but I'm thinking of taking Thursday and driving to the coast. I spent a few hours on the beach a couple of weeks ago, and the beauty of the landscape and the ocean and the wildlife I could see just took my breath away. I get wonderment from the smallest things, honestly. :)

I've also been having a good time planning out the next year or so of my life. I'm planning on moving again in August, and my recruiter is jobhunting for me. I should know more in a couple of weeks, but it looks like Southern California is in my future. As a result, I've started listening to a "Learn Spanish" podcast that will hopefully prepare me for communicating with my patients a bit easier. It's not that difficult, and if I could learn Japanese I hope I can assimilate Spanish with the same degree of effort. If anyone has any suggestions of books or interactive media that can assist in this (especially medical Spanish), please feel free to post them here.

After SoCal I'm hoping to go overseas. Lots of money needed for that, so I'm working more and living even more frugally than I was (gas to the beach this week notwithstanding). Most everything is in order, but money will be tight. Kind of glad that I resisted getting a Little Kitty Friend so that I wouldn't have to part with them for any kind of extended travel that I'll be doing.

Today, as I was cleaning up here, I made a fresh pot of coffee (Millhouse French Vanilla - freshly ground beans, tyvm) and walked out on my balcony to get in some air. There's something in the woods that's releasing milkweed-like fluff and seeds into the air, and it's been coming down for the past couple of days. I stood there, leaning against the railing, breathing in the cool evening air that smelled like winter - cold enough to freshen and sting your nose a little, and open and crisp and clean. That, combined with the milkweed...I squinted my eyes a little, inhaled deeply looking up into the sky and imagined that I was back in Michigan, standing on my parent's dock on North Lake, pulled out of the water and onto the bank for the winter, my boots on and snow over the frozen lake in front of me. I could almost hear the cracking of the ice.

Made me miss my folks, called them and talked for an hour.

I walk half way around the world,
Just to sit down by your side.
And I would do most anything girl,
To be the apple of your eye.

Troubles they may come and go,
But good times they are the gold.
And if this road gets rocky girl,
Just steady as we go.

Any place you wanna go,
Know I'll be next to you.
If it's treasure baby you're looking for,
I'll search the whole world through.

Know troubles they may come and go,
But good times they're the gold.
So if the road gets rocky girl,
Just steady as we go.

When the storm comes,
You shelter me.
And I don't say a word,
And you know exactly what I mean.
In the darkest times,
You shine on me.
You set me free.
And keep me steady as we go.

So if your heart rings dry my love,
I will fill your cup.
And if your load gets heavy girl,
I will lift you up.

Troubles they may come and go,
But good times be the gold.
So if this road gets rocky girl,
Just steady as we go.

Ah
Hold me,
Shine on me.
Oh, shine, shine,
Shine on me.
Shine, shine
Yeah shine on me.
Hey shine.

Just a castaway
An island lost at sea
Another lonely day
With no one here but me
More loneliness
Than any man could bear
Rescue me before I fall into despair

I'll send an SOS to the world
I'll send an SOS to the world
I hope that someone gets my
I hope that someone gets my
I hope that someone gets my
Message in a bottle

A year has passed since I wrote my note
But I should have known this right from the start
Only hope can keep me together
Love can mend your life
But love can break your heart

I'll send an SOS to the world
I'll send an SOS to the world
I hope that someone gets my
I hope that someone gets my
I hope that someone gets my
Message in a bottle

Walked out this morning
Don't believe what I saw
A hundred billion bottles
Washed up on the shore
Seems I'm not alone at being alone
A hundred billion castaways
Looking for a home

I'll send an SOS to the world
I'll send an SOS to the world
I hope that someone gets my
I hope that someone gets my
I hope that someone gets my
Message in a bottle

Last night I had something happen to me that was both terrifying and relieving.

I went to bed early after a long day at work, and was looking forward to getting more than my usual amount of sleep. I've been dragging for the past few days since getting over the worst of the Spring Cold of 2008, and not waking up coughing sixty million times sounded like a great night to me!

I put on my most comfortable soft pajamas and curled up in freshly washed sheets, ready to sleep. Lights out, lavender and vanilla scents wafted from the comforter, and my iPod played Battlestar Galactica songs softly in the background. It was 9:30pm, and I was sooooo sedate.

Sometime around 1:30am something roused me. It might have been the cats outside fighting, or the wind, or any number of things. But lying on my left side, facing the closet, I opened my eyes.

There, standing before me, at the edge of my bed in my darkened room, outlined by the white far wall, was a figure.

Immediately all the blood jumped from my arms and legs, my heart thumped a couple of times, and I gasped - then sat bolt upright in bed and screamed. It was one of those high piercing screams, and in my small bedroom it echoed and deflected around the room like shards of broken glass.

The scream caused the figure to pause and come toward me just a short bit - and then, like smoke, it was gone - disappeared backward into the closet in roiling wisps.

I sat upright for what seemed like forever, completely afraid to move, breathing very shallowly, trying to process what I had just seen. Was there someone in my apartment? Had they just retreated into the walk-in closet? Was I dreaming? What was that? And why did it have Tier 4 Warlock shoulders on?

I made a bargain with myself that if I moved, if I lay back down in bed, that I would prove to myself that whatever I had seen wasn't real. I counted to ten, then grasped for my cell phone that was on the comforter next to me, flipping it open for the screen to illuminate the walk-in closet in front of me. My heart was racing.

Empty.

I lay back down in bed, reached up and turned on my bedside lamp. Breathing a little easier, I curled there on my side watching the closet doorway, running over it all again in my head for the next 45 minutes. When I finally drifted off, I slept the rest of the night with the lights on full.

This morning, I was remembering the episode, mocking myself a little for getting so scared. That's when it hit me - I *screamed*. I'm not a screamer - when I get scared or startled I yell out, I utter an expletive or I lash out with my hands and arms. This time, I let out a complete Fay Wray movie scream.

I smiled as I readied for work thinking about it. I'm getting more girly all the time. :)

Man, I was really in the mood for some Grateful Dead and I can't find any of my cd's anywhere. Bummer.

So a year ago today I started a new chapter in my life, and I have to admit that there were times along these past 12 months that I wasn't sure how I'd end up; some days jubilant and reveling in new experiences, and some days barely able to rouse myself. But all things being equal, I'm better and stronger, and I'm continuing to learn a lot about myself.

Thanks to all of you who have shown immense patience with me, and you'll continue to see me grow and change.

Watch this space. :)

After feeding Big Fuzz on a regular basis, petting him, brushing him, playing with him, rubbing him and watching him walk me to and from my car every day, one of the neighbors here has adopted him and is keeping him.

She took him to the vet and had him checked out, he's very healthy if not a bit overweight, and it appears that he's in a loving environment. The woman that brought him in was nice enough to chit-chat with me today, and she's got two cats already and they all get along famously. She's got cat perches in her apartment by the front window that has a tree near it, and she put bird feeders in the tree to entertain the cats. I know she's got a wonderfully loving home for him.

Part of me is very happy that he's got a stable environment that is warm and safe, and that he won't need to sleep out in the cold anymore. But another part of me is really sad that he's not mine. I was starting to fall in love.

I miss him.

When the fox had done running
At the end of the day
I'm ready to answer
I'm ready to pay

And this rivers still running
And time will come soon
Carried to the great ocean
By the drag of the moon

Okay, so here's my situation:

I live in a townhome complex. My downstairs neighbors have a couch on their patio, on which over the course of the past few months two small orange kitties have taken up residence.

I just got back from 10 days away, to find that there's a new cat here, orange, and probably weighs close to 18-20 lbs.

I'm not up during the daylight hours to see if the other two cats I knew are still there, and it's entirely possible that this cat is one of the two that used to be here, he's about the same color, but twice his size.

The original cats - one had long hair, and was more friendly - the second one has shorter, darker hair and always used to run from me.

Now, this cat is fat, has short dark orange hair - but he's coming RIGHT UP TO ME. I'm a little afraid of getting bitten, so I'm talking to him through a crack in the door, but he's walking up to my door and nudging it with his head, like he wants to come in; I actually had to hold the door in place because he was stepping forward and trying to get in. His talk is a little between a squeaky meow, with a couple of hisses at me, and his breath is foul and detectable from 3-4 ft away. His fur along his back (where I'm sure he can't reach due to his body size) is chunky, and while I don't see any patches of missing fur, he doesn't appear to be a healthy cat - just his body size alone. He gobbles up the food I put out, and he's drinking the milk without a problem.

What do I do?

I'm not sure exactly why it took me the past 9 months to get my head in gear, but I've at long last formulated a plan that will actually work to get myself back on track financially and out of the hole that I find myself neck-deep in. Wish I would have thought of this in April, but I know where my head was then, and why I didn't, and is only confirmation for me that all things happen according to Plan.

Feels great to have my drive back again. Thanks, to each of you that contributed.

Something inside me is breaking
Something inside says there's somewhere better than this my love

Sunset sailing on April skies
Bloodshot fire clouds in her eyes
I can't say what I might believe
But if God made you he's in love with me

When you can't wait any longer
But there's no end in sight
It's the faith that makes you stronger
The only way you get there
Is one step at a time

Take one step at a time
There's no need to rush
It's like learning to fly
Or falling in love
It's gonna happen and it's
Supposed to happen that we
Find the reasons why
One step at a time

http://www.thebostonchannel.com/news/14800073/detail.html

You got married in Massachusetts? Then take yourself back there and get divorced there. You can't expect a state to nullify something that they don't recognize as legal in the first place.

/fume