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Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in the "Pat McIlveen" journal:[<< Previous 20 entries]
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01:05 am
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depression
So this is a fun post.
I'm depressed, and I can't figure out what's caused this bout. I am the brand new owner of a townhouse, just got a double raise at work (975 hours plus the union inflation raise), and I have the most wonderful family (2 beautiful cats and my skishy, Tanya), yet I'm down.
I'm currently on antidepressants (40mg of Celexa), and right now I'm kinda scared that I'll screw something up both if I do get my meds upped (ie unexpected side-effects that keep me off work) , and if I don't (like not wanting to get out of bed or having one of my ballistics-grade mood swings).
What's even worse, is that along with my rapidly changing environment, I'm losing my main escape and coping mechanism; becoming Glynn on the Azuremyst server of WoW. I have to make that sacrifice financially, in that to afford closing costs (which are more than I expected) I can't buy a WoW game card (Tanya's missing out as well), and also my only internet access for much of October is going to be from this BlackBerry.
Before I lose this connection in a week or 2, does anyone have some recommended tunes I should download, or any good podcasts to get my hands on? Or any ideas as to how to stem the tide of crappy feeling that's coming?
Current Location: on the bed, with my crackberry
Current Mood:  depressed
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03:50 am
[Link] | Hey guys,
Anyone here ever have dealings with Edmonton Real Estate Group Inc., their Realtor Corey Singh, or their Financial agent who is affiliated with "Invis"? We got a flyer advertising a no downpayment mortgage of $225K with payments of $970 per month (we currently pay $984/mth rent), and with having looked at houses, we might be looking at a place for ~$160K, but I'm kinda scared to bite with these guys if they've screwed someone over...
Current Music: Radiohead - Paranoid Android
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02:00 am
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crackberry
Took me a month to post this here, but I gots me a blackberry pearl...
Current Location: bed
Current Mood:  blah
Current Music: howling cat outside/ Tanya on ventrillo in the other room
Tags: crackberry
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12:35 am
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Still Alive...
Hey guys, a rare occasion such as this deserves a post.
250GB of FREE hosting storage...
http://www.filedropper.com/special.php
Would cost $10 monthly, but early adopters (such as me) get it free, and paid until 2038...
Offer's over May 15th...
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03:09 pm
[Link] | FUCK YOU MICROSOFT
And Bill Gates, and anyone who was a part of the Vista Audio Team, you all deserve to be lined up so I can do a bony-knuckles-only backhand to each of your fucking faces.
The reason for this is simple. In your desire to make Windows Vista more stable, by reducing BSOD's (which I only ONCE ever got on my computer running XP, due to a major program crash), you ended up removing the Hardware Abstraction Layer (HAL). This pretty much made my kickin' sound card FUCKING USELESS, by removing the process which shunted all audio processing tasks to it. Meaning that all my soundcard does now, is sit there like a retarded paper pushing dumbfuck, and convert the digital audio into a nice audio waveform that even the D/A chip on my motherboard's integrated audio could do if i so chose to use it.
Now I don't really mind the application audio mixer, which lets me go to one convenient place to say that this program should be louder than that one (as opposed to individually adjusting the volumes within each individual program). but even in doing so, you killed the most basic of audio features inherent in Windows, dating back to version 3.1... VISTA HAS NO FUCKING TREBLE AND BASS CONTROLS! You don't need to be an audio engineer to know that there's too little oomph in that Halo gunshot, or too much cymbals in that punk song. In your effort to avoid the easiest thing to fix in computer history (the once in a blue moon version of the BSOD, requiring only a quick reboot, and then a trip to a computer guy if it keeps up), you completely have alienated the casual consumer, removing their right to adjust the audio on their $10 speakers the way they want to. To do so now, you have to go out and buy a whole new set of fucking speakers with those controls on them...
Now, having mentioned AE, you've also killed the early start on my CAREER you fucknuts. Instead of audio being processed by the soundcard like I mentioned earlier, all that shit is done now by the CPU. Which would be fine if I owned a dual core 3 GHz PC. BUT I DONT. I own a 3-4 year old with an AMD 1.1 GHz CPU. Meaning that if I run 2 programs at once, say WoW and Skype or Vent, my CPU maxes at 100%. Meaning that anytime I speak in those programs, I sound like a stuttering version of Steven Hawkings on fucking meth. Now the effect this seemingly trivial thing will have on my career? Well, audio mixing programs used to use BOTH the CPU and the APU (what I'll call the soundcard from here on out), due to the high amount of emulation used within plugins for processing signals that was usually done by $10K of Rack equipment, among other things. Things I cannot afford, and I would have (at least for the first part of my career) used said plugins for. Now, to even have a hope of doing any work, i'll be forced to buy a Digital Audio Workstation (~$1500, had already planned on that) AND a goddamned MacBook Pro or better ($3000 at least for the specs I require) to avoid your clusterfuck.
Way to go Billyboy. Fuck up my life some more.
Pat
P.S. I've done all the tricks like disabling Aero, and all programs, and yes it still runs that bad...
Current Location: siting next to my now-useless POS PC
Current Mood:  frustrated
Current Music: Anything heavy
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11:17 am
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Thank you Blizzard!
STARCRAFT 2!!!
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11:22 pm
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Fuck you Toyota
Gotta love skewed advertising- Hybrid cars do NOT make the air cleaner, all they do is dirty the air to a lesser degree than their predecessors.
Fucking automakers.
Current Mood: furious
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11:56 am
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Concussions...
So for those of you wondering from others' posts, and for everyone else as well, here's what happened to T yesterday:
You all remember monday how there waas the freezing rain, right? Well It hit Belvedere Transit station just as bad as anywhere else in town. The fun part was that it ended around noon monday. by monday night, coming home from work, i was quite perturbed, as there was only the ramps shoveled and sanded, not even the stairs.
So FFWD to Tuesday morning, we're on the 10 pulling into Belvedere, and T steps off the bus, as the entire place was ice still. I didn't see until she was down cause i blinked, but she fell. and HARD. Hitting her head or not, she was bound to have been hurt. Amazingly, her Bookbag (side sitting) and her cute butt took the brunt, and her bad wrist was already wrapped, so she just got up and kept walking. Only her pride was hurt at that time.
So FFWD again to just past noon, where I'm in the middle of explaining 15 times to this dumbshit how to activate and deactivate his call forwarding to the voicemail on his account (I had to retype that 4 times to eliminate all my work-based shorthand...). Tanya texted me the word Emerg, and then proceeded to give my phone a call about 6 times before i convinced the ID10T that he could get the star codes working perfectly fine. jumping off the phone, i gave her a call, and she was in tears saying she was dizzy and confused. I quickly let everyone I needed to tell know I had to leave, and then Powerwalked the 4 blocks from my work's tower to hers'.
We ended up going to Emerg at U of A hospital, along with ![[info]](http://p-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif) hsgranger , and sat for 7.5 hours before she even got in, and then a total of 9 hours before we were out of there at ~1030PM, with a diagnosis of just a mild concussion... Least we were where she would need to have been for a CT if they had actually sent her for one...
Coming home, we passed through Belvedere again, and it's a good thing that I had called ETS at ~10 AM to complain, the sheet ice was COVERED in sand, like if they took one of the road sanders and started pulling donuts with it all over the transit center...
When we got home after that adventure, we ordered Pizza 73, and I ate an entire small ham/mushroom which put me in my current ordeal , the details of which im omiting (as per TMI rules). Needless to say, I'm at home as well...
All I can say is UBER thanks to Amy for staying with us that entire time, you will be getting Pat's chocolate chip cookies soon enough (it's the least I can do...)
Ciao for now...
Current Location: home
Tags: amy, concussion, ets sucks, tanya
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10:46 pm
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Pat still lives... and whores for his company...
so I'm gonna give you guys the gist of my story like normal, considering i never am good at the writing thing...
I applied for the customer help rep posting @ TELUS in late november. I ended up getting interviewed, and got the job december 8th. that day i handed in my resignation, and my last day at Convergys was December 13th.
I started at TELUS on the 14th, and was holed up in the TELUS Toll building (102 Ave/100ASt, the one that looks like a tall concrete bombproof version of the remand center) for 2 weeks, learning the trade of cutting trouble tickets and telling people how to use their calling features and voicemail.
After suffocating in the nearly windowless building along with my semi-personalityless classmates (I couldnt be my smart assed self since none of them got it), i ended up in the TELUS plaza south tower, where I now enjoy:
$17.41/hour 1.5 time on OT joined with my shifts ($26.12/hour) Double OT if I take an hour between my shift and the OT, as well as any hours I work on Sundays ($34.82/hour) Triple OT on Stats ($52.23/hour) Full time hours IMMEDIATE benefits (80% on most extended health care and dental, 75% coverage on my AHC, etc.) 40% off my TELUS bills, 30% off my cell phones And the best one of them all, I'm in a union, where no one is grumpy towards the management, and where the management doesn't try and pull any crap (like what Convergys does). What this post really is, in a sense, is me trying to get everyone to work where I do, so that I can have friends there (cause most of the people that I've met so far have personalities only slightly better than paper bags), and because I know most of you deserve better than what raw deals you're getting (especially you at the Con...) In other news, frogprincess23 and I ended up hosting her birthday party last Saturday night, and we had a blast, among other things getting (slightly...) inebriated, playing MADGAB, and enjoying the company of shizumu, jiasaykea, hsgranger, her guy Karl, and trustnoone1981 and her guy Tyson. We all had fun there, and now this weekend, frogprincess23 and I, along with jiasaykea and others are going to be going to karaeoke for shizumu's birthday! I'm excited, since most of the people who will be there have not heard my pipes yet, and as well, I'm gonna be seeing pretty much my best friend from high school, Vince, there, and I havent seen him in almost 7 years... Anyways, I gotta jet since I wake up at 530 tomorrow... Current Mood:  mellow
Current Music: Incubus- Glass
Tags: birthday, karaeoke, telus, vince, work
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11:52 pm
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Fight me if you dare | Combat Cards
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03:10 am
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Big change
so Im not working for convergys anymore, as of thursday, I am in the employ of Telus.
big reason: i'll be getting 17.41/hr there as opposed to 11.48 @ convergys.
I'm gonna be a "Customer Help Representative", meaning i'm doing the same damned thing, but instead of customer care for GSM cellphones, i'lll be doing tech for landline and ADSL.
I've heard so many great and horror stories about the place, that I think im just gonna test the waters myself...
If they cant give me full time 40 hours like im told will happen, at least the minimum 25 hrs a week will be close to what i was getting net pay wise from the con, and if thats the case, im also gonna be able to take another job in the music industry in town somewhere...
SO, big change for me but nothing so drastic like my last changes of job...
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12:52 pm
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08:48 am
[Link] | Go to http://www.popculturemadness.com and find the year you turned 18. Bold the songs you like and strike the ones you loathed.
1. I'm A Believer - Smash Mouth
2. Lady Marmalade - Christina Aguilera, Pink, Lil Kim, and Mya
3. Ride Wit Me - Nelly featuring City Spud
4. Get The Party Started - Pink
5. Follow Me - Uncle Cracker
6. Bootylicious - Destiny's Child
7. Ain't It Funny (Remix) - Jennifer Lopez
8. U Remind Me - Usher
9. Pop - N Sync
10. Hero - Enrique Iglesias
11. It's My Life - Bon Jovi
12. I'm Real - Jennifer Lopez
13. Smooth Criminal - Alien Ant Farm
14. Family Affair - Mary J Blige
15. Angel - Shaggy
16. With Arms Wide Open - Creed
17. Where The Party At - Jagged Edge with Nelly
18. Bouncing Off The Ceiling - A*Teens
19. Hey Baby - No Doubt
20. Independant Woman part 1- Destiny's Child
21. Whenever, Wherever - Shakira
22. The Space Between - Dave Matthews Band
23. Turn Off The Light - Nelly Furtado
24. Hit 'Em Up Style (Oops) - Blu Cantrell
25. It's Been a While - Staind
26. I'm Real - Jennifer Lopez
27. Fallin' - Alicia Keys
28. Hanging By A Moment - Lifehouse
29. The Call - Backstreet Boys
30. This Is Me - Dream
31. What Would You Do? - City High
32. Survivor - Destiny's Child
33. Start the Commotion - The Wiseguys
34. All Or Nothing At All - O Town
35. I Wanna Be Bad - Willa Ford
36. Flavor Of The Week - American Hi Fi
37. In The End - Linkin Park
38. Superman - Five For Fighting
39. Drops of Jupiter - Train
40. I'm Like A Bird - Nelly Furtado
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02:41 am
[Link] |  Dear Santa...
Dear Santa,
This year I've been busy!
In February I committed genocide... Sorry about that, emie_argos (-5000 points). Last Thursday on a flight to Vancouver, I stole the emergency flight information card (-40 points). In July I set blith's puppy on fire (-66 points). In August I pushed thetaintedrose in the mud (-17 points). In September frogprincess23 and I robbed a bank (-50 points).
Overall, I've been naughty (-5173 points). For Christmas I deserve a spanking!
Sincerely,
pat_man23 |
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11:36 am
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You are The Hierophant
Divine Wisdom. Manifestation. Explanation. Teaching.
All things relating to education, patience, help from superiors.The Hierophant is often considered to be a Guardian Angel.
The Hierophant's purpose is to bring the spiritual down to Earth. Where the High Priestess between her two pillars deals with realms beyond this Earth, the Hierophant (or High Priest) deals with worldly problems. He is well suited to do this because he strives to create harmony and peace in the midst of a crisis. The Hierophant's only problem is that he can be stubborn and hidebound. At his best, he is wise and soothing, at his worst, he is an unbending traditionalist.
What Tarot Card are You?
Take the Test to Find Out.
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12:22 pm
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I'm on the clock!
Sorry if this is TMI, but I actually took 2 vacation days (my first 2 ever!), and you know what amuses me? I just made love to Tanya while getting paid for it!
Take that Chelsey! I'm now the most unconvergible person while being paid! :-P
Current Mood:  chipper
Current Music: Primus- Tommy the Cat
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02:00 am
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Gacked from blith and dukeskunk
1. You can only say YES or NO.
2. You are NOT ALLOWED to explain ANYTHING unless someone messages you / comments and asks! So then ask me questions!!!
*************
1. Taken a picture naked? no
2. Painted your room? no
3. Made out with a member of the same sex? no
4. Drove a car? Yes
5. Danced in front of your mirror? no
6. Have a crush? Yes
7. Been dumped? no
8. Stole money from friend? No
9. Gotten in a car with people you just met? Yes
10. Been in a fist fight? Yes
Current Mood:  dunno
Current Music: Slayer- Angel of Death
Tags: meme
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05:04 am
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gacked from many
1.Your Middle Name:
2. Age:
3. Single or Taken:
4. Favorite Movie:
5. Favorite Song:
6. Favorite Band/Artist:
7. Dirty or Clean:
8. Tattoos and/or Piercings:
HERE COMES THE FUN ... ... ...
1. Do we know each other outside of LJ?
2. Whats your philosophy on life?
3. Would you have my back in a fight?
4. Would you keep a secret from me if you thought it was in my best interest?
5. What is your favorite memory of us?
6. Would you give me a kidney?
7. Tell me one odd/interesting fact about you:
8. Would you take care of me when I'm sick?
9. Can we get together and make a cake?
10. Have you heard any rumors of me lately?
11. Do you/have you talk(ed) crap about me?
12. Do you think I'm a good person?
13. Would you drive across country with me?
14. Do you think I'm attractive?
15. If you could change anything about me, would you?
16. What do you wear to sleep?
17. Would you come over for no reason just to hang out?
18. Would you go on a date with me if i asked you?
19. If I only had one day to live, what would we do together?
20. Will you repost this so i can fill it out for you?
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04:46 pm
[Link] | sometimes i wish people like the pope would just shut the fuck up and not say things that can bring the world to war in the blink of an eye... least george bush isnt able to say something beyond his normal stupid...
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02:27 pm
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Gacked from little_mystery
Pick one word from each pair that you think describes me the best and leave it in the comments. Then copy this and post it in your ownjournal to see how your friends view you.
* dominant or submissive
* logical or intuitive
* social or loner
* kinky or vanilla
* cute or sophisticated
* kitten or puppy
* warm flannel sheets or sleek satin
* leader or follower
* quiet or talkative
* spontaneous or planned
* teddy bear or porcelain doll
* hiking or window shopping
* tequila or vodka
* top or bottom
* bare foot or shoes
* jeans or slacks
* tender or rough
* aware or dreamy
* nerd or jock
* brains or brawns
* common sense or book smarts
Current Mood: day-offish
Current Music: Smashing Pumpkins- Bullet With Butterfly Wings
Tags: meme
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