Mrs. Palin frightens me. Not because of her inexperience or her love of guns or her need to get back to work after having a baby.
She frightens me because while I'm willing to listen to her and her ideas, I'm not sure she'd be willing to listen to mine.
Me. Who thinks that a little socialism could be a lot valuable. Me, who thinks that people should be able to read and write whatever books they want and not have a Homeland Security file listing those books. Me, who thinks that there should be an actual separation of church and state, not just a theoretical separation. Me, who thinks that a person should be able to practice whatever religion they choose and not be viewed with suspicion for not conforming to the Christian "values system". Me, who doesn't like to support big business and goes out of her way to patronize the small businesses Mrs. Palin and Mr. McCain claim to love but do almost nothing to help them thrive. Me, who doesn't like war of any kind, let alone one where there's no good explanation as to why we're engaged. (Mrs. Palin says her son is in Iraq defending my right to free speech, but the last time I looked my free speech was in the US. Explain please.) Me, who thinks that if you run around saying that abstinence-only sex education is the way to go it's hypocritical to have an example of how that doesn't work in your own house. Me, who thinks that if your seventeen year old daughter is getting ready to have a baby then someone in the family didn't do their job. Me, who thinks that a person's decisions about their own bodies should be left up to them. Me, who thinks that my civil rights should not be compromised by who I choose to kiss in the privacy of my own bedroom. Me, who really doesn't agree with Mrs. Palin about anything, wouldn't be listened to if she was in the White House.
I think, if she had the power, she would fire me from the United States. She would call me part of the problem and send me packing across the border. She wants to represent HER United States and no other. I should love it or I should leave it.
And that scares me.
Go Obama!
I've been a cranky mom the last few days. Not sleeping so well and dealing with constant tantrums on Will's part interspersed with moments where he does horrifying but amusing things have left me on a hair trigger temper.
Take day before yesterday. Will was one long tantrum all day long. He started screaming when he got up and didn't stop until his sister got home from school. He'd ask to watch Blue's Clues but he didn't want to see any episodes with Steve. Only Joe was acceptable. And really, he wanted to see Joe in his orange shirt. He'd ask for food and then throw it on the floor. He'd get up in my lap and head-butt me. Standard terrible-twos behavior but exasperating nonetheless.
After Zoe got home from school they fought with each other over some random thing, I don't remember. Then I tried to check my email while Zoe got her tae kwon do uniform on. As I'm checking Will discovers a beer bottle next to his dad's computer that isn't quite empty and swills the contents. And I mean he chugged it down like a frat boy who's getting ready to go have relations with a blow-up doll on the lawn of the favorite sorority. Glug glug glug. Then he looks up at me and says "More?"
And this all happens right as we have to take Zoe to 'Heeeyah!' class. I said this really intense prayer that I don't get pulled over because having a two year old with beer on his breath is generally frowned on by law enforcement. We made it there and then back home fine, but the screaming started again in the car. Sadly, I lost it and ended up yelling at the kids and putting them in quiet time in their rooms while I took some breaths and got it together.
So, I'm feeling guilty for being a crabby mom yesterday. Zoe had early release from school and we needed something to entertain ourselves. I thought it would be fun to go down to Spirit, the Halloween store we haven't visited yet.
For those of you who aren't familiar, Spirit and Halloween Express are seasonal stores that rent empty storefronts in late September and sell only Halloween merchandise through the month of October. Generally, the kids like visiting them and we've made the trek to Halloween Express already. We get in the car and off we go!
This year, Spirit is in a shopping center that's tough to get to, hence, the empty storefront. You have to know where it is before you try and find it or you're outta luck. We do the maze of parking lots and arrive! yay!
We run up to the front doors that slide open magically before us. And that's when Zoe spied the tunnel the staff had created leading into the store. A big, black archway lined with clowns wielding knives; big, pointy-toothed sneers on their faces. A soundtrack was going that featured evil laughs and screaming.
Zoe screamed, burst into tears and cowered back against me. I tried to tell her that I would cover her eyes and we'd go through fast. I pointed to the big wall of wigs you could see just past the murderous funny men, but she wouldn't be comforted. I had Will in the backpack but I had to pick up my seven-year-old and carry her out, she was so hysterical.
And that's how my kids got Sonic for dinner last night. Because a mom has to redeem herself sometimes and tots and slushes go a long way at my house.
Will enjoys the garden gnomes at least as much as I do. He's much more hands on in his enjoyment however. I place them and then look with my eyes for the rest of my life. Will likes to move them around the yard and make them talk to each other.
Last week, as I was dealing with Halloween decorations Will became somewhat rough and broke two of them. To say I was upset would be an understatement. Lucky for my son, we were in full display of the neighborhood so my reaction was reigned in quickly.
One gnome I was able to glue back together. The other is toast. I tried and it's not gonna happen. Too many little shards have disappeared into the layer of dead leaves that cover the front planter box. He's not going to be with us anymore.
This makes me sad. My happy, hiding from the rain gnome that I found at the grocery store is a goner. I don't have the heart to throw him away. I've put him around the side of the house and I'll make Scott deal with the disposal.
*sniff*
- Mood:
sad
But this is just weird:
family portrait
Originally uploaded by Pafuts
We really, really, really want fall to be here. It's not quite here yet, but we took the kids out to Sweetberry Farms to pick out pumpkins yesterday anyway.
The farm is in Marble Falls, about an hour drive. They have pumpkins of all kinds, two tall grass mazes, a hay ride, horse rides, pumpkin painting, scarecrow stuffing, homemade ice cream and lemonade and a field of flowers where you can pick your own bouquet. Admission and parking is free and you only pay for the activities you want to do. They have a food booth there, but we opted to bring a picnic.
Photo heavy behind the cut:
( Read more... )
language NSFW, just sayin'
If you live in Texas the deadline to register to vote in this year's election is MONDAY THE 6TH!!!!!!!!!
Scott: Sit around in our underpants and feel hungry.
"I sleep Mommy! I sleep Mommy!" he wailed. This really means that he'll come into our bed and thrash around for forty-five minutes or until I can't take it anymore and get up, whichever comes first.
There wasn't quite enough coffee for the coffee maker to make a nice pot of coffee. We ended up swilling coffee like liquid that at least had some caffeine in it. I then asked Scott to walk Zoe to school so I could go to the grocery store.
Between playgroup being at my house today and Brownies here tomorrow I've got a list of stuff that I need to accomplish between now and 2:30 p.m tomorrow. And I have to work around Will's naps, Zoe's tae kwon do class and my mother's club monthly meeting tomorrow morning. The supplies for the Brownies can be gathered while Zoe's in class today, but the big grocery shop takes longer. I can move more quickly if I don't have the kids, so off to HEB I went at 7:25 this morning.
I moved like the wind and got my cart piled high in a flash. By 7:50 a.m. I was loading my supplies into my car. While I put the bags in I was beating myself up about the procrastinating I've done over the last few days. Yes, yesterday was a difficult parenting day, but I should have gotten the floors mopped instead of sitting on the floor and resting. I should have baked something for playgroup to snack on the this morning. Blah blah blah, I suck. I'm sure I had an ugly expression on my face while I contemplated how I was going to fail at all the tasks I need to do in the next 29 hours.
Then this lovely young woman walks up to me. I don't know how else to say it but she radiated this calm energy. When she got close to you, you just sort of relaxed. She said good morning and she wanted to give me this magazine that had some interesting information in it about the animals and how scientists are using what's found in nature to make the world better for people.
"I just thought it would be interesting for you and I wanted to tell you to have a good day." She patted my arm and smiled and went off to her car.
I'm standing behind my car hold this copy of the Watchtower. I've gotten to a point in my life where I can appreciate the good intentions of the person who hands me tracts instead of being offended that they're trying to ram their beliefs down my throat. She was obviously a happy, content person and thought that everyone in the world deserved to feel that way. And here I was looking stressed out and she came up and gave me a little dose of 'love they neighbor' that left old cynical me in tears.
I came home in a much better humor. The house in good shape. I've been in this playgroup for almost 2 years. If there are any people on the planet who will cut me some slack for not mopping it's these broads. All I really need for Brownies is an American Flag. We'll be talking about the symbolism of the flag and learning how to fold it. Then we'll make one snip stars. Next meeting, we'll be painting a flag onto a piece of canvas to send overseas.
So really, all I have to do today is print my flag facts, obtain a flag and sweep. Tomorrow I can get snacks and prep for the meeting during Will's nap.
I keep expecting to hear Crow calling to me.
I know what I consider a bitch to be. However, the term gets pretty loosely applied to women who are outspoken, brave, want to make changes, are selective about what and who they spend their time on, don't roll over and do what they're told and generally don't behave the way meek and mild women are supposed to act. This would be strong, not bitch.
To me, a bitch is a woman who is intentionally mean and hurtful. Women who say and do things just to make another person (usually other women) feel crappy are bitches. Women who start conversations with the words "I thought you should know...." and then proceed to tell the person hurtful things with no other goal in mind than to cause them pain is a bitch.
A woman who starts the conversation "I thought you should know....." and then tells the woman in question that her son was seen smoking weed after school or that her daughter was hitchhiking, without adding judgment or telling her what a bad mother she is, is looking out for the other woman's kids.
A woman I worked with at a department store came to me and said that another young woman we worked with was circulating a letter to other employees asking them to sign it. The letter listed the ways another employee did not do her job and was asking that she be let go. The young woman circulating it was saying she was going to write a letter about me next. Was the woman who told me this being a bitch? No, she was telling me something I needed to know about. She didn't say it just to hurt my feelings or gossip and she went to management with me. There was a reason behind her statement.
15 years ago I had a woman tell me all that no one in my social circle really liked me, they just liked my husband. Then she listed all the reasons I wasn't likable and what everyone said about me when I wasn't around. Did she tell me the truth? Sure. Did she do it for any reason than to hurt my feelings and make me feel like shit? No. Bitch? Oh yeah.
But, that same bravery, passion and simple gutsiness can change the world. The suffragettes were called bitches. Isabella of Spain was called a bitch. Elizabeth the first? Bitch with a capital BUH. Hillary Clinton and Sarah Palin are both referred to as bitches. Granted, they're sitting on opposite ends of the see-saw, but that whole playground contraption has the word BITCH written on it in big letters. Cindy Sheehan is a big, fat bitch that I just want to hug.
Let's stop flinging the word around and get it back to the nasty meaning it should have. Call her a ballbuster. Call her a gusty woman. Call her a masculine woman. Fine.
But leave bitch for the real bitches.
The waiting room of this particular pediatric dentistry clinic is very luxe, with ethernet ports and video games. Also, a big bunch of books and comfy couches.
I was welcomed back to the exam/treatment area and given a padded bench to sit on while Zoe climbed into the exam chair. She got to select a pair of sunglasses, because the light is bright you know. The new patient paperwork asked what her favorite toys/friends/colors are and what activities she's involved with. So, as the tech was getting everything set up she talked with Zoe about Tae Kwon Do and Zoe's favorite stuffed animal. Zoe liked going up and down in the chair and got to feel everything on her finger before it went into her mouth.
She got a cleaning and x-rays done. Turns out she has four cavities that need to be filled. It could have been much worse considering. I'm counting us lucky. She's got some discoloration on her top front teeth that are probably from her banging them at some point in her life. The doctor is a very nice woman in her early forties. She recommends that Z get some nitrous oxide for the fillings. That way she won't feel the injections and the vibrations won't be as strong. They do them quickly and we'll be on our way.
Zoe did just fine. Much better than me. I was a wreck.
Now I have to get my courage screwed up and make an appointment for myself.
Oh God.
movement4
Originally uploaded by Pafuts
This week in my online photography course our assignment was to use aperture to create depth of field and shutter speed to suggest or capture movement.
This is the photo I submitted for the 'movement' part of the assignment.
My instructor's comments are below:
Hi Amanda,
Great shot! I really like the way you have used the slow shutter speed to create a picture with a very different look and make the most of the challenging light conditions. The dappled effect of the sunlight on the grass combined with the slight flair effect of the bright light in front of the lens, which has caused a slight reduction in contrast all add to the overall impact of this picture. It has created an almost dreamlike appearance in the photograph with the movement of the children juxtaposed with a sharp detail in the house and tree. This is a fabulous example of how the shutter speed can be used creatively, so congratulations on this being my Photo of the Week!
It's always a useful exercise to shoot a range of pictures at different shutter speeds with subjects moving at different speeds as you will soon get a feel for what sort of shutter speed you will need to produce a particular effect on the level of blur. As far as photographing people it certainly sounds as though you have more than enough willing assistants!
Simon
Whoo hoo!
I hate the dentist. I'm terrified of the dentist. I've had some bad experiences and have been outright lied to by dental professionals on more than one occasion. I've lost a tooth due to a root canal that was never capped off, but I was told my procedure was complete. I was not allowed to make a follow up appointment to show that my root canal wasn't capped off. My regular dentist eventually called the surgeon to explain the situation.
When I went back to the oral surgeon he wanted to take the tooth out of my head, work on it, re-plant it and then see what happened. This was going to cost close to one thousand dollars. I couldn't afford that and just stopped going to get my teeth checked. Four years later the tooth had to be taken out.
After Zoe was born I screwed up my courage and went to a clinic. 6 fillings they said! I got two that day and was told to come back for four more and a cleaning. I didn't trust them and went to another office, where I got a deep cleaning. No, you don't need fillings they said! But you do need oral surgery and bone graft! Cost to you after insurance is $2400! My insurance didn't approve the procedure and I haven't been back to a dentist since.
Why on earth would I take my children to a group of individuals who've fucked with me so much?
But.
Zoe's first adult tooth is growing in crooked. Her top front teeth are discolored. She needs to go in to prevent big problems. I've been recommended to a pediatric dentist in town by a LOT of moms. Everyone who talks about her gushes. They love her. Their kids love her. The kids get excited about going to the dentist. She has video games in the waiting room. I can go back with her. She's also purchased advertising my my mother's club's newsletter, which gives me warm fuzzies about her.
I was sort of hoping that my kids would just have naturally straight, strong, white teeth so that I'd be able to avoid this whole situation. But, nope. I gotta take my precious, delicate, sensitive daughter in to the dentist.
I told her last night while I was tucking her in that I was going to pick her up early from school and take her to the dentist. She yelped and put her hand over her mouth. I told her that the dentist had video games in the waiting room. She asked if she was going to get a new toothbrush. I said yes. And stickers and other prizes would come home with us too. She got excited.
This morning, Zoe asked to stay home from school and just go to the dentist office so she could play video games until it was time for her appointment.
Four hours until I go get her.
Oh God.
- Mood:
scared
Yesterday, I made up a little self-esteem exercise for myself. Instead of writing down a list of goals I wrote down everything I accomplished. I got tired of writing things down about six in the evening. The above picture was taken at three o'clock.
I knew that I did a lot, but I didn't truly realize how much I do in a day. My days start with pouring a cup of coffee and end with setting up the coffee pot for the next morning. In between I do housework, play with kids, run errands, check email, work on my assignment for my online photography class, rest, eat, crochet, play with kids, read to kids, walk to school to pick up Zoe, IM with Scott, check our bank account, read blogs, take my daily picture for Envisage365, fold laundry, go to play group or playdates.
Writing it all down really gave me an idea of just how much I do for my family. It actually makes me worry what they'd do if something happened to me. I mean, I take good care of these guys.
I do, however, need to set a little of that aside to give myself more time to do stuff that I want to do. Now, I know that there was an episode of "Faithville" that outlined all the trouble that type of selfishness will get you into, but I think that my imaginary friend and I can work out the details.
Today, I'm going to ask my neighbor to send her kids over to help me with my latest photography assignment 'Movement'. I'll set my shutter to a long exposure and have them play ring-around-the-rosy around a tree. The tree will stay still and the kids will be blurry. Should work out well. I'll need to set up my tripod.
- Mood:
good
A martial arts school did a demonstration at Zoe's school last week as part of her P.E. class. They brought some boards and the kids got to break them. Zoe has been talking about it since.
I got a flyer in her take home folder last Thursday and gave the school a jingle this last Monday. I talked to a very nice person that turned out to be the owner/instructor. He arranged for Zoe to attend a class for free on Wednesday, which was yesterday.
Every time I take her to do something new I almost puke from nervousness for her. I stay calm but I'm positive I'm always more scared than she is.
The instructor greeted us and remembered Zoe from the demonstration at her school. He showed her how to bow before entering the area where they learn and showed her where to stash her shoes. Turns out it's a Tae Kwon Do school, which makes Scott very happy.
When the class started she followed instructions, self-corrected her form after the instructor showed her the right form and yelled "YAH!" along with the other kids. She picked right up on it. She's not doing it halfway, she's really giving it her all with the moves.
We left with a free uniform and a commitment to six months worth of lessons, which she'll attend on Mondays and Wednesdays. She should move up a belt color about every eight weeks and she'll achieve yellow belt within that time frame. They also have the students participate in goal setting and celebrations of achievements outside of their martial arts class. I they bring in a good report card, they'll be congratulated.
They also offer half price classes for any other family members, so now Scott and I are seriously considering taking classes.
The only bad thing is that it's right next door to a Dunkin' Donuts, home of the cup o' liquid crack.
New shoes
Originally uploaded by Pafuts
Here are my new shoes! Lace up, oxford-style, stilettos with pink stitching.
One thing that 37 years as a girly-girl has taught me is that if you have purchased shoes for a specific occasion, you must break them in first. I'm wearing my new shoes around the house as I go about my daily business today.
I love the rounded toe on these. It gives a certain retro, alterna quality, unlike pointy toed shoes which always reek of trendiness to me. But because of the rounded toe, the toe box is narrower than usual. This means my little duck feet are kinda squished. The shoes are long enough certainly. One size up and they don't stay on my feet. No wides available in these, what? not buy them? Bite your tongue! These shoes and I were meant to be together.
We're going to be together all day today. Doing dishes, folding laundry, reading my next lesson in my online photography course. We'll take very deliberate steps all day long, gently stretching the leather to accommodate my slightly wider than average foot. Standing instead of sitting, putting all my weight onto the ball of my foot, forcing the shoes to become a pair that will fit only me.
This hurts.
I've been at it for close to 200 minutes now. Only 360 to go!
I can do this. I just have to look in the mirror to remind myself how totally hot I look in these shoes to rebuild my strength.
I'll go do that now.
ow. ow. ow. ow. ow. ow. ow.
We've got a wind advisory until 7 p.m. tonight, but we're dry as a bone right now with some wind. Our chance of rain is down to 60%.
Whoo hoo!
Readied.
Originally uploaded by Pafuts
Hurricane Ike is headed our way. Opinions differ as to what kind of weather we'll experience this far inland. I've heard everything from some rain and wind to as strong as a category 2.
When it comes to disaster preparedness, I employ the philosophy that a little paranoia and a lot of being prepared is better than a little haphazard planning and lot of under-preparedness. Besides, experience tells me that if we're all ready, nothing much will happen.
Therefore, I give you what I've accomplished today:
-visited Target and created an emergency kit.
-located homeowner's insurance policy
-gotten cash
-filled car's gas tank
-gotten extra batteries for the portable radio
-cleaned up backyard of loose toys and stowed in shed
-flipped outside chairs over and stashed between shed and fence
-secured shed
-dragged all large debris awaiting disposal around the side of the house and wedged it between the side/front fences
-filled kid's sand/water table to capacity with water, put lid on and shoved close to the house
-prepped Scott's closet in case of tornado warning
-extended invitations to stay to friends in Houston and Gulf coast areas
-charged up cell phone and camera batteries
The only things left to do are procure extra flashlight batteries, glow sticks and ice. (the glow sticks are for Zoe. She likes to have one with her when it's storming outside.)
I'm all ready for a sunny, storm free weekend!
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pafuts- Amanda Snyder
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