orpheneritus ([info]orpheneritus) wrote,
@ 2005-09-12 14:59:00
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Current mood:blah
Entry tags:fanfiction, pot_challenge, pot_fanfiction, torishishi

[FIC] The Follow Through, PG, Torishishi
Title: The Follow Through
Written for Week 18 of [info]pot_challenge First Place
Rating: PG
Genre: General
Pairing/Characters: Ohtori/Shishido
Short Summary/Comments: ‘Stop planning strategy, start using your instincts… following through on your strokes.’
A/N: The proper use of a semi-colon is dedicated to friend and punctuation nazi [info]jade_kitty just to show that I can XP



It was meant to be everything that his first kiss had failed to be.

Shishido held his cap, shaping the brim nervously with his hands while Ohtori said nothing.

‘I— I should go now, Shishido-san,’ he said softly.

He wasn’t surprised by the formality of address. But still, it stung. ‘Okay…’

Ohtori didn’t leave right away. ‘Um… I need my school bag.’

Shishido had taken it from him just outside the school, because Wednesdays he had music practice.

He let the bag slide from his shoulder, grey strap raking over skin, the bag twisting in the air, light momentarily catching the Adidas badge he’d bought for Ohtori only two weeks before.

Their hands brushed against each other, Ohtori pulled away too quickly. ‘Thanks,’ he whispered.

Shishido nodded, their eyes glanced off each other briefly.

‘Bye.’

He didn’t know what to do by himself. Where he was; was where Shishido wanted to be.

‘You’re thinking too much,’ said Oshitari as he slid gracefully into the sit beside him. ‘Both of you.’

‘And what would you know?’ he rebuked.

‘Gakuto… terrible gossip,’ Oshitari smiled widely, his openness unsettling.

‘Thinking too much…’ he repeated to the dark haired tensai.

‘Stop planning strategy, start using your instincts… following through on your strokes.’

Shishido frowned. ‘You know this isn’t about tennis, right?’

An arch look was his only reply.

Shishido leant against the wall in the locker room, pressing his face into the cool tiles.

The more he thought about it the more humiliated he was beginning to feel. Ohtori had pulled away. Their lips had barely brushed. Ohtori had seemed… he wasn’t sure, maybe… confused.

‘…So stupid…’

‘Shishido?’

He stilled at the sound of Ohtori’s voice, so close, a long fingered hand closing over his shoulder, stilling his motion.

He wanted to turn around. He wanted to apologise. Instead he stood, listening to the increasing rise and fall of Ohtori’s breath, only moments away from his neck.

His hand pressed against his shoulder, fingers gently clenching, gathering the fabric of his shirt. ‘Don’t… don’t turn around,’ Ohtori murmured. He rested against his shoulder. ‘I don’t think I can do this facing you.’

Shishido nodded stiffly, shivering at the soft brush of hair against his neck. A gentle tug on his cap sent it tumbling to the floor, long fingers lingering at his nape.

‘Shishido?’

‘Yes?’ his voice quivered.

‘I’m going to kiss you now.’

‘Now?’

The wet kiss of lips brushed against the skin of his neck, the patter of unsteady breath, the lean of Ohtori’s chest pressed into his back.

It was everything his first kiss had failed to be.

Shishido leant back into his partner, soft touches hardening with teeth and hands reaching.

Pulled around, he shared a shuddered breath, before being pressed into the wall with lips, teeth and tongue.

‘Good follow through,’ he whispered distractedly.



(Post a new comment)


[info]sharona1x2
2005-09-12 09:40 am UTC (link)
I really liked it. It was subtle, which most ToriShishi fics aren't. I also liked the way Ohtori was so tentative at first, but growing in his confidence. That's so much more in character for him than a lot of the fandom portrayals (not that I don't enjoy them too, in a different way).

‘Gakuto… terrible gossip,’ Oshitari smiled widely, his openness unsettling.

*smirk* Great line!

May I archive this, please? *makes puppy eyes at you*

(Reply to this)(Thread)


[info]orpheneritus
2005-09-12 10:42 am UTC (link)
I'm glad you liked it ^__^ I guess I just wanted to squeeze a little more out of it, imply a bit more behind the words. Make it a little more sensual... next time I guess!

Of course you may archive, you have my standing permission to archive my writing for your site Brand New Days.

(Reply to this)(Parent)


[info]the_seijin
2005-09-22 11:47 pm UTC (link)
Mmmm, this was nice. It had a really nice touch of realism in it. Agree with Zertwofan, it's got a subtlety to it that's quite rare for these two *is guilty of that crime* :3

(Reply to this)(Thread)


[info]orpheneritus
2005-09-23 12:29 am UTC (link)
XD Happy first day of Manifest... I hope I see some of your art this weekend!

I don't write subtly... I over tell everything, then I go back and cut it all out just leaving the bits that say it best. Often even though I feel a part is written terribly I'll leave it until the end, because sometimes the answer isn't in rewriting it, it's cutting it out.

I'll cut huge paragraphs, entire sections out. I recommend it to everyone.

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