OnEurope_Live.. Sorta... in the bits between Eurovision and Belgravia!

Right. Only one runthrough so far, and a couple of mini problemettes for the team. In minor news, one of the light boxes flashed about five seconds too late, completely ruining Karolina Backwards' dramatic pose in front of it. They can fix that.

In less minor news, KB's actually not in especially good voice here. I don't *think* it's enough to kill her chances, and I have to concede now that she really does have Winner Potential - but it would be nice to see a winner that has absolutely nothing at all wrong with it, and that would certainly involve a lead vocal that was spot on the mark. I need another runthrough of it, really.

I think I can start reviewing Sweden, too, now I've cheered up a bit. It's gone back to the very, very first opinion I had of it - yeah, it's a great song, but where's the warmth in the performance? Where's the little twinkle in the eye? The whole thing is so clean, so perfect, so sterile that you can actually smell the bucket of disinfectant that it's been soaking in. It's a performance to admire, but a difficult one to love. It's not a potential winner, and I think it's missing the top 5.

And back to Ukraine... that's *much* better. MUCH better. Keep an eye on that one.

Wel the curse of the Eurovision cold seems to have struck Verka - eeerm I mean Ani Lorak and vocally this is weaker than it was last time round - principally because of the cold I suspect.

Nothing much has changed visually and she still gets thrown on top of the mirrors 2/3 of the way through the song which is always a comedy moment waiting to happen. Being the consumate professional that she is, I dont think that a cold will stop her from making a good fist of the next 20 minutes of her rehearsal period but unless she gets that voice sorted (which she probably will) - then she is in trouble. Assuming the Lemsip works, then she is definitely walking out of this bit and she is into the Top 5 with Sweden so far.

Well, this is interesting. It turns out that when you're in a right royal Iceland-induced eurostrop, this looks and sounds absolutely ace. I mean, they just stand at their mics with their guitars and drums and stuff and deliver the song, the outro maybe goes on a little too long without leading anywhere interesting, but this is actually really, really good.

I think I've cheered up again now. Good!

Right. The bad news for Swedia is that Iceland have put me in a right royal bad mood. There were so many ways they could have chosen to present that thing, and they've chosen one that's totally cheesed me off and not in a good way. They even LOOK like freaking Jemini, goddamn them to hell! Someone needs to tell them! And it's put me in a great, grumpy, I hate Nordipop state of funk.

And then Charlotte comes on. What chance does she stand of a fair hearing when I'm in this mood? BAH!!!! I'll let the others review it! It's all Iceland's fault! GRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!! :-)

..Firstly the advance Administrivia for Day 5

We shall NOT be blogging the final 3 rehearsals as we are going to get "Right Royally Fed" at the Orao so you don't have to - then we are off to Kalemegdan in order to watch some sort of Free gig with ESC Artistes- so you don't have to.

OnEurope, there, always thinking of you!

Back to Sverige now...

She does have a very very scary face and has been Botox-ed to hell in the time between the MF and now, but even so this is one hell of a strong song and is performed immaculatly by a singer that knows the ropes. Again, it looks like the MF staging - but that in this context is not a bad thing at all - She is clearly going to qualify and very probably get top 5.

When Sweden get it right, THIS is what you get!

Well, seeing as everyone else is doing it, and I suppose I've got to work out my serviette of death sometime soon, here's how the boy Hacksaw sees it at the mo. Although I'm sure it'll change...

In the style of Juke Box Jury, for them olds anong us...

Montenegro: Miss
Israel: Maybe
Estonia: Miss
Moldova: Miss
San Marino: Miss
Belgium: Maybe
Azerbaijan: Maybe
Slovenia: Miss
Norway: Hit
Poland: Maybe
Ireland: Maybe
Andorra: Miss
Bosnia and Herzegovina: Hit
Armenia: Maybe
Netherlands: Miss
Finland: Maybe
Romania: Maybe
Russia: Hit
Greece: Miss

Crikey, tha leaves me with 11 possibles. Hmm, now who to drop...

This is a good opener for the semi final, although like the last one that we have seen ( and all are Grek)- It is clearly Eurovision by Numbers the Iceland way. They know their target audience, and they perform up to them.

However, on the down side the choreography is staged and wooden and something that a Crossroads set would be proud of and there are a couple of shouty bits when they are singing into the camera it comes across as a bit too much.

But, all of that aside, the song itself is strong ( though slightly formulaic lyricaly) - they both can, and do, perform the backside of the song and grab you to vote for it.

It's in trouble because of the staging, but it does need yer vote.

Montenegro - not a chance
Israel - you got the wrong contest I think
Estonia- My inclinations are no but it's borderline
Moldova - who ? next
San Marino - would love to say yes but I can't
Belgium - don't make me laugh!
Azerbaijan - oooh yes
Slovenia - no amount of free drink will make me say yes
Norway - given the rest of the crap, yes but it's not a massive endorsement
Poland - quite possibly if she keeps the Glennis like behaviour to herself
Ireland - yes by the tip of his feathers
Andorra - The words giraffe a your havin spring to mind but not necessarily in that order
Bosnia - hmm yes and quite right too
Armenia - not great but yes
Netherlands - looks like the bus will needed for the full two weeks, yes
Finland - a possible but I'm erring on the side of no :-(
Romania - si
Russia - yes if you don't want to find a horse's head in your bed (or on your dinner plate!)
Greece - least deserved but probably

Onto SF2 and from the opening notes it's already far more cheering than any of the previous 19.
 

Umm... err... ummm....

I've seen this choreography before. And I've heard some of the notes, too.

Out of all the things that I never expected to see in this contest, I *certainly* never expected to see a Jemini tribute act.

Does NOT have Ten definites!

Montenegro: Definitely Not.
Israel: No, no, no.
Estonia: i'd like it to - but no.
Moldova: ...Hahahahah NO.
San Marino: Possibly.
Belgium: You'd think so, but No.
Azerbaijan: Good God No.
Slovenia: Good lord no!
Norway: Yes.
Poland: Yes
Ireland: Yes.
Andorra: Not on last performance no.
Bosnia and Herzegovina: Apparently Yes.
Armenia: Yes.
Netherlands: Yes.
Finland: Yes,.
Romania: No
Russia: Yes.
Greece: Yes, Definitely.

We're on a break between SF1 stuff and SF2 stuff so my mind's wandering. On the way to the office this morning, I saw a dog chase a cat up a tree. I thought that kind of thing only happened in cartoons. Also I had a self-created mixture of gouda and feta on my bread this morning, it was like a confluence of cheese, absolutely mighty.

Let me have a quick think about SF1 actually, in preference to cheese. What's hot and what's not? Is anything hot?

Montenegro: No.
Israel: Not really.
Estonia: Yes, of course! If you're me.
Moldova: ...possibly.
San Marino: I hardly think so.
Belgium: You'd think not.
Azerbaijan: Might as well.
Slovenia: Good lord no!
Norway: Yes.
Poland: A bit, but nowhere near as much as Norway
Ireland: I suspect so.
Andorra: Ahahaha... no.
Bosnia and Herzegovina: Yes, very.
Armenia: Sort of.
Netherlands: Yes, surprisingly.
Finland: Yes, I would think so.
Romania: Yeeeessss...
Russia: Not entirely. But more than some.
Greece: Yes, no question.

Oooh goodie, the semifinal twoey goodness has arrived.

...by the rather great Punjabi MC.

http://youtube.com/watch?v=efWOPiT20Bk

I always thought he ought to be reprazentin' the UK. Now that would be a proper treat!

...and the award goes to them Dutchs with their slightly short term bus arrangement...




Now, what are they going to do with this bus in a fortnight? Are they going to scrape her lovely mug off the side come Monday morning, or will its livery remain, dusty and scrapified, to be witness by those of us who come back to the city when the hosts win it again in a decade or so time?

Answers on a postcard...

Parrots are birds of the roughly 350 species in 85 genera comprising the order Psittaciformes, found in most warm and tropical regions. Also known as psittacines (pronounced /ˈsɪtəsaɪnz/), they are usually grouped into two families: the Psittacidae (true parrots) and the Cacatuidae (cockatoos). Characteristic features of parrots include a strong curved bill, an upright stance, strong legs, and clawed zygodactyl feet. Most parrots are predominantly green, with other bright colors, and some species are multi-colored. Cockatoo species range from mostly white to mostly black, and have a mobile crest of feathers on the top of their heads. Most parrots are monomorphic or minimally sexually dimorphic.

Parrots, along with crows, jays and magpies, are some of the most intelligent birds, and their ability to imitate human voices enhances their popularity as pets. Trapping of wild parrots for the pet trade, as well as other hunting, habitat loss and competition from invasive species, have diminished wild populations, and more parrots are threatened with extinction than any other group of birds.

The most important components of most parrots' diets are seeds, nuts, fruit, buds and other plant material, and a few species also eat insects and small animals, and the lories and lorikeets are specialised to feed on nectar from flowers, and soft fruits. Almost all parrots nest in tree holes (or nestboxes in captivity), and lay white eggs from which emerge altricial (helpless) young.

Here is some video footage of a parrot in its natural habitat.

 Well frankly no. I still can't see any point to the prop that has caused all the fuss, it adds nothing to the performance or the song.  Helena Paparizou proved you can do this sort of song without one and win. What Helena had that Kalomira doesn't have is a good singing voice and a half decent song. This is quite honestly tedious. Only it's position in the draw is going to save it from extinction and it won't make many waves in the final. It's got a decent enough riff to it but is sooooo repetitive and monotone. The dancey instrumental bit helps a great deal but it's only fan bias keeping it so high in the polls.

Russia then...

I'm sitting somewhere inbetween the three stools of my On-U Sound Sistem collegues.

I'm not glad the ladder's gone, but only because I thought its inclusion would lessen his appeal and up the guffaw ratio.

But for me this was an over-mannered and twitchy to the extreme. He was hard enough work last time, but now he's gorn all rock-star-in-me-head, and for me it was pretty difficult to watch. Come Tuesday it's entirely down to whether the folks back home think, ooh hello, here's a boy who know's how to perform the bejabers out of a song, or, who the heck does this posturing nit wit think he is. I favour the latter - but they like their bombastic gestures out this end of the continent, so that could just drag him over the line.

Not remotely convinced, but it's the hardest of hard ones to call.

clearly haven't bought this competition either!!

She looks, in places, like a twee-er Sarah Jessica Parker being backed by 3 bodypopping boys in suits doing all sorts of business behind her. Vocally... well... her speaking voice reminds me of Minnie Mouse on helium, her singing voice is something that can only be described as unique.

itis Eurovision for Greece by numbers - pure and simple. ( No jokes about her being pure and I'm...well.... you get the drift) but we have only managed to see one run through because the feed has been cut.

We have sent Samantha out with her Big Pole in order to get the feed back and we hope that she can fiddle with the knob while her big pole is fiddling about. (RIP Humph)

Well, so much for the drama. That was a really efficient changeover from Russia to Greece, and neither has lost anything that in any way weakens their show.

Talking of efficiency, I just wanted to mention something that I'd failed to notice about the queues to get through security at the press centre and the hall - I've not seen one at any point in the entire week. Everything's carefully checked, we're barcode scanned into the building, and it takes no time at all to do. It's another of those things where you don't actually notice the absence until someone points it out to you.

We've just had one runthrough of Greece, and you know, I like it a lot. Good colourful show, maybe a little bit three years ago, but none the worse for it. I think it's better *whisper* than their song that actually won it. I'm not so sure that they want or are ready for another win, but they're doing all the things they need to do to get one if they do want it.

Just don't let Kalomoira speak, that's all. Heliumy. That's the word for Kalomoira!

Ooh, we've lost the hall feed completely now - we've reverted to a Eurovision testcard from Geneva. How irksome. Great though - they send these pictures all the way up to some geostationary satellite, bounce them off Geneva, and whizz them back over here to Belgrade nine minutes' walk from where they originated. What's wrong with a couple of baked bean tins and a long piece of string, that's what I want to know...

Oh goodie, the feed's back. The backers look exactly like Triple and Touch in 1988, a reference which certainly betrays my age!

 Unlike Phil I'm going to look at this objectively and give a calm, sane assessment. As predicted, gone is the ladder which was a bit too children's telly for my liking and now the emphasis as Nick so rightly pointed out is much more on Dima himself which can only be an advantage. Lots of looking into the camera and emoting. The ice skater and the violin player still get in on the action but they don't totally get in the way as much as they did before. In short it's effective and likely to attract votes by the truckload. It's not a winner though for my money because the song isn't as catchy as his last one and only the draw is likely to see him fair better than Anna Vissi did a couple of years ago when she tried the same sort of over the top performance to lesser effect. It does as well have the disadvantage that after much wrangling there will be an ad break before now. Everybody has been in up in arms about the fact that it was a big conspiracy to end the chances of Greece winning, but quite frankly Greece has never been in the running and Russia is hanging in their by the tip of the blades on it's ice skates on this evidence.

The ladder's gone. There is no ladder. Aucune échelle, no hay escala, keine Strichleiter. This hasn't done any harm whatever, in fact it's a positive benefit.

Skatey Bloke and Stradivari Bloke are still in place, and whilst they get some nice face time, they're relatively minor parts of the show. It's all about Dima now. Lots of singing straight into the camera. Likable or slightly icky? Writhing around the floor like a loonball or putting every ounce of movement and emotion into the show? Basically, Europe, what I want to know is this: would you invite him to your party?

I can see, for the first time, how it could, could, hypothetically, theoretically, and yet still without prejudice, sucker enough people into voting for him to do very very well. To win the whole contest though... hmm. Hard to say, and personally I can't see it. He'll do better than Anna Vissi did in 2006, and that's as much as I'm going to predict. There may be no monster masks this year, but there are plenty of people jumping out of washing baskets, standing on top of light boxes, holding up pictures of cheese and sticking their arms up a puppet turkey's arsgfhlerwrop ibvdfgopi*@3e923=5gh$#%NO CARRIER