| it's just a flesh wound. |
[Dec. 2nd, 2005|12:10 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  tired | ] |
| [ | music |
| | the eels | ] |
2pm.
picture it. it's my formal evaluation for teaching.i'm proving to my cyborg principal that i can handle center groupings. then bam. my marker eater kid comes up to me screaming like a banshee. shoving a bloody index finger in my face. I'm still super calm and patient, and the without any sort of nod, the non emotional principal takes him down to the nurse with a rush.
turns out the chair he was sitting on lost it's screws and he put his finger underneath the seat and sat on it. henceforth smashing his "favorite finger."
asdaklsmam!
oi. |
|
|
| |
[Nov. 6th, 2005|04:28 am] |
| Your Birthdate: July 1 | 
You are a natural born leader, even if those leadership talents haven't been developed yet.
You have the power and self confidence to succeed in life, and your power grows daily.
Besides power, you also have a great deal of creativity that enables you to innovate instead of fail.
You are a visionary, seeing the big picture instead of all of the trivial little details.
Your strength: Your supreme genius
Your weakness: Your inappropriate sensitivity
Your power color: Gold
Your power symbol: Star
Your power month: January |
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|
|
| at last. |
[Nov. 6th, 2005|03:40 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  grateful | ] |
i slowdanced tonight.alot.
to songs i always wanted to slowdance to.
what a surreal experience, honestly.
If just for today i was somebody else
instead of myself i wouldn't be surprised.
wow. i'm writing this in the hopes that i'll never forget
what it's like to slow dance with someone and have them tell you something
nice about yourself. for the first time having someone ask ME to dance, seriously.
wow. i owe a very dear friend the world for making me feel like someone today.
at the wedding i attended there was a slow clap.
you read this correctly, there were in fact multiple slow clap build ups
where all of us ended yelling out "Shaun, Shaun, Shaun."
oh man do i adore the couple who got married.
i hope one day i too can have a giant red and white wedding
full of slow claps and dancing.
there are few more adjectives... |
|
|
| ha! |
[Oct. 27th, 2005|05:45 pm] |
 | | The Window Shopper
Random Gentle Love Dreamer (RGLDf)
Loving, hopeful, open. Likely to carry on an romance from afar. You are The Window Shopper.
You take love as opportunities come, which can lead to a high-anxiety, but high-flying romantic life. You're a genuinely sweet person, not saccharine at all, so it's likely that the relationships you have had and will have will be happy ones. You've had a fair amount of love experience for your age, and there'll be much more to come.
Your exact opposite:
The Stiletto
Deliberate Brutal Sex Master
| Part of why we know this is that, of all female types, you are the most prone to sudden, ferocious crushes. Your results indicate that you're especially capable of obsessing over a guy you just met. Obviously, passion like this makes for an intense existence. It can also make for soul-destroying letdowns.
Your ideal match is someone who'll love you back with equal fire, and someone you've grown to love slowly. A self-involved or pessimistic man is especially bad. Though you're drawn to them, avoid artists at all costs.
BEWARE: The Hornivore
CONSIDER: The Gentleman, The Loverboy, The Boy Next Door |
Link: The 32-Type Dating Test by OkCupid - Free Online Dating.
My profile name: pegasaurusX</td></tr></table> |
|
|
| :) |
[Oct. 17th, 2005|11:02 pm] |
<td align="center">Cancer
You are shy and mysterious. Hotties are always trying to unlock your secrets, and figure out what makes you so cool.
You have to have trust in your partner, so you’re not really into randomly hooking up. You really like the intimacy that comes with sex and you won’t take no for an answer when it comes to after sex cuddling.
Sex matches: Taurus, Scorpio, Pisces
Take this quiz at QuizUniverse.com
</td> |
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| short breaths, long walks |
[Oct. 17th, 2005|06:10 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  determined | ] |
I could stay till 10pm and get there at 7 and still not be done with the massive amounts of work.
I would if they would let me.
today at a teacher's meeting we were pretty much ambigiously told that we were doing a terrible job. the entire staff left feeling bad about themselves and not understanding why. everyone is crazily stressed out and morale is at an all time low, I, of course could not tell at all because this is just what i thought school was like. It's stressful, there's LOTS of work, but when you can see positive changes in attitudes everyday there are a million reasons to want to work even harder. When you have students tell you, "I can feel my brain getting bigger by the second!" you want to stay late every day. err i want to stay.
i love teaching. I will not lie and say it's always a cup of tea, but this year i have a dream class-- no lead eaters or emotional problems. just wonderful little people who get confused once in a while and do a good job keeping me in check.
school reminds me of cab,habitat, or any other activity that has really meant the world to me. with both feet i jump and don't mind the stress, frustration or lack of appreciation involved in work... simply there to do a good job for people who need you to do your best. honest, I wish i could do a better job, but again that would require me to sleep at school and possibly create some kind of bed under my desk ala constanza from seinfeld.
still constantly feeling lucky, pretty much every single second.
my news-
friend gets hit by car while jogging-not dying woo!
many relatives of friends pass away this weekend
friend's father gets diagnosed with lung cancer- stage 4.
-upon request I begin working with him this sunday
walked in the breast cancer awareness 10 k-
how can anyone alive right now not be ecstatic?
working at refocusing on what is currently important at the moment
instead of getting aggravated on what isn't here yet.
it seems most things
are just a matter of time.
. |
|
|
| i can't... |
[Oct. 3rd, 2005|10:54 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | sleepy | ] |
| [ | music |
| | the cure/andrew morgan | ] |
that which we hold back is by far
the limitation we create for our future.
personal construction.
somtimes i feel like a flagger
who is never taking their own
advice to slow down.
i wish i could follow maps
and directions without listening
to self doubt and constantly taking
detours before I end up at the right
destination. but no matter how much doubt
and frustration
I realize that i got lost for a reason.
that being lost and late was
exactly where I was supposed to be.
i just wish it didn't take
getting lost so many times
for me to realize to listen to my
instincts to begin with. |
|
|
| happy autumn |
[Oct. 1st, 2005|12:35 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  cheerful | ] |
You are Merino Wool.
You are very easygoing and sweet. People like to
keep you close because you are so softhearted.
You love to be comfortable and warm from your
head to your toes.
What kind of yarn are you?
brought to you by Quizilla |
|
|
| oh my sweet rapture |
[Sep. 28th, 2005|10:08 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  working | ] |
| [ | music |
| | pedro the lion. | ] |
today my students told me my face was red.
I told them it was because it hurt from smiling so much.
they stared at me for a minute, laughed and said yeah,
"You're probably right."
They get it.
we disco before math.
we yoga before reading.
we pretended to be cactuses and to remember the word "saguaro!"
today we dissected a one
to see if our prediction
about it looking like a cup of water in the inside
was correct.
we were wrong, but
at least we got a chance to cut up
a cactus.
we made a giant patternized math problem today using
every child in the room.
we took a stupid standardized test that has no way
of recognizing how loving and hilarious my students are...especially
the ones who coudn't read the test to begin with and found it
more fun to fill in c's and d's instead of attempting
to allow the state to see their true "IQ."
luckily I won't get in trouble
for their lack of motivation to please
the government, and they won't get in trouble
for their lack of understanding the english language.
we listened to school house rock.
and rocked out.
the other 3rd grade talked about ghosts today
and whether or not they were reality or fantasy.
luckily I haven't had that discussion yet.
tomorrow I attend the happiest funeral
I will ever attend. I simply can't wait
to hug the people i miss and share one
last time the music that brought us together
and was a soundtrack for an era.
we grow. and laugh. and smile. and mourn.
and miss. and love. and hurt. and hate.
and pretend to be cactuses.
|
|
|
| norwegian wood |
[Sep. 25th, 2005|03:48 am] |
this weekend i let the wind take where it wanted me to go,
which suspiciously led me back to DeKalb and Geneva.
My students are consistently amazing, and honest,some of the only pieces of my
life that are currently unchanging. It seems nothing else likes to stay
the same. I truly appreciate their spirit and innocence
and realize how fleeting this all is. They know how much i love them
and really, that's all i ask of anyone is to trust me when i tell
you genuinely how much i care.
They eat markers, do yoga with me, and do dramatic renactments of
stories we have read. they watch me slide across the floor, fly by the seat of my pants,
and still manage
to learn a few things here and there.
I know I could not have asked for a better job, or better luck,
and in this aspect of my life I'm exactly where i'm supposed to be.
to be able to say that much and believe it is pretty incredible.
so the other stuff,
well, it seems when it rains, it hails, floods, and sends multiple hurricanes
in the direction of any quiet, observant soul. somedays it really is like
being on one of the roofs of a home that has been ravaged by a storm waiting
for help arrive, but when help does get there. you're asking them to
call dr.'s office's to cancel appointments and turn off your electricty..
but then they remind you that none of that matters because everything you knew as life in that
is gone. They let you realize you have to start over, you are no longer stranded, but you have to
acquire the items you need to begin again, which is fine;however when you do begin again another hurricane comes, and another and so many they will run out of names and the only thing you can do is keep trying to start over. Starting over is really not the hard part, it's the idea of continuing to stand through so many storms and looking for other suriviors that begins to get challenging.
CO in 2 WEEKS!!! |
|
|
| one at a time, please... |
[Aug. 31st, 2005|08:36 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | driven | ] |
| [ | music |
| | law and order theme | ] |
It's kind of ridiculous to think I'm not talking to someone I love more than anything, thinking about the poor people in New Orleans who only have eachother to count on to survive.
the recess diaries-(2)
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
It's days like this that remind me why i joined my profession and why i want to stay till 6 oclock running off papers, and decorating the room. It reminds me that even when i wasn't paid I wanted to stay till 6 o clock because of them.
the kids had an assigment today to write about the best teacher in the world. If they could of what he/ she would be like, and to describe he/she. the kids didn't know I was collecting the papers, and some were pretty shy about letting me peek around while they were writing. To my surprise on 2 of the papers I was the one described. honest,it made my day, and thinking about it will probably make my day for years to come. They are some of the kindest people I have ever known. I've probably said that a million times before, because I think everyone is pretty much wonderful, but seriously, I'm so lucky to have such a loving class. They are kind, enthusiastic, and hardworking. Ok, perhaps that's the just first few weeks, but I hope it continues. I'll never stop saying how lucky I am. They are the reason I want to work so hard and stay after school till I'm the last car left. (just like CAB :) )
Every day the possibilities seem endless.
all we can do is look to the future and think what could possibly happen next.
yesterday I accidentally broke the roll-y geography map.
I'll probably end up paying for it, but I should.
my school is over 100 years old, and yesterday i found out it's hauted.
amazing.
for the time being, I love and terribly miss hugs from my dear friends.
I think of you all often and hope you are all well.
I hope everyone gets at least one chance to teach.
all of those cheezy poems are true. |
|
|
| "i just want to hold you, i don't want to hold you down" |
[Aug. 29th, 2005|07:12 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | busy | ] |
| [ | music |
| | graham nash- simple man | ] |
by popular demand-
the recess diaries
1 sore throat, 2 cryers, 179 more days to go.
Last night was the first of many,frequent what felt like sleepless nights. I woke up at 5:30, but didn't really wake up till 6:15, threw on the outfit I purposefully chose to represent a caring authoritarian, and attempted to make my way to school about an hour early.
As soon as I made it to school I had a contact malfunction, half of my room was down from lack of masking tape, and i forgot my special 3rd grader pencils at home. It was kind of like what i imagine to be going into labor, minus all the excruciating pain. A completely chaotic, overwhelming moment, I was greeted with my students and their parents. My one student who speaks little english was upset, probably scared that I would be some cruel older figure, but as soon as I showed her that our outfits matched the tears seem to fade.
I'm still such a kid. The desire to stand in the wood chips rather than tell some one to get off of them is so ingrained, it's kinda of funny.
I had the kids do a series of activities, hopefully trying to break many of their shyness.. trying to make them comfortable in class. We threw a beach ball and talked about monkeys. I think I could get used to this.
While the class began I had one student insist that I was his teacher even though i explained he was no where on my attendance sheets. Rather than make him feel embarrassed in front of the class I found him a spot and waited till I could figure out where he was supposed to go. Which wound up being a half an hour into school.
Losing so much in such little time, it's kind of nice to have something to care about again. Having a purpose and an outlet has never been so necessary for me. |
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| |
[Aug. 24th, 2005|07:44 pm] |
All-Around Awesome
You have:
77% SCIENTIFIC INTUITION and
85% EMOTIONAL INTUITION</b> |
| The graph on the right represents your place in Intuition 2-Space. As you can see, you scored well above average on emotional intuition and well above average on scientific intuition. (Weirdly, your emotional and scientific intuitions are equally strong.) |
|
Your Emotional Intuition score is a measure of how well you understand people, especially their unspoken needs and sympathies. A high score score usually indicates social grace and persuasiveness. A low score usually means you're good at Quake.
Your Scientific Intuition score tells you how in tune you are with the world around you; how well you understand your physical and intellectual environment. People with high scores here are apt to succeed in business and, of course, the sciences. | |
|
My test tracked 2 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender:
|
You scored higher than 81% on Scientific |
|
You scored higher than 94% on Interpersonal |
| |
|
|
| hmm.. |
[Jun. 28th, 2005|12:03 am] |
My uninvited sass is town for Canada Day.
I'm bunkering down until I see fireworks this week.
ie mondayish?
See you with the sky flowers. |
|
|
| king of the road |
[Jun. 1st, 2005|11:41 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | curious | ] |
| [ | music |
| | beck | ] |
When i was in very small we had 2 station wagons.
One was brown and had wood panneling along the sides.
The other was silver with a blue hood, like a paddie wagon. The silver one was always my favorite, but there was always something wrong with it. The minute it would have a problem it whether it was paint or transmission my father was out there with the duct tape in hand, "wife beater" on chest attempting to fixs it's ailments. Upon recovery it would leave the drive way with more baubles, bangles, and general hums than it previously had. In the end, Dad's homeopathic mechanic skills always left the car in a little worse condition than before, but boy, was it a sweet ride.
It seems we will all come to a day when we spend all of our time fixing the side effects of our greatest attempts of fixing ourselves. |
|
|
| yargh.. I guess it had to come out sometime... |
[May. 9th, 2005|12:18 pm] |
Hippie
You are 28% Rational, 85% Extroverted, 0% Brutal, and 28% Arrogant. |
You are the Hippie! Characterized by a strong sense of extroversion, irrationality, gentleness, and humility, you no doubt frolic through fields preaching peace and love to all! You are probably either very spiritual or needlessly paranoid about "the man", like most hippies, as a result of your focus on intuition and feelings over cold, brutal logic. You are also very, very social. And like any hippie, who would have no qualms about hitchiking across the country just to meet some interesting people, you too love to interact with others, even complete strangers. Because we know most any hippie is peace-loving and humble, it stands to reason that you, as well, are terribly gentle and humble, almost to the point of revulsion. Your carefree attitude of peace and harmony is probably very, very sickening to realists or cynics or anyone who isn't a hippie, to tell the truth. In short, your personality is defective because you are overly emotional, extroverted, gentle, and humble--thus making you an annoying hippie. And you listen to psychadelic rock and smoke a whole lot of pot. Okay, maybe not, but I wouldn't be surprised if you did.
To put it less negatively:
1. You are more INTUITIVE than rational.
2. You are more EXTROVERTED than introverted.
3. You are more GENTLE than brutal.
4. You are more HUMBLE than arrogant.
Compatibility:
Your exact opposite is the Sociopath.
Other personalities you would probably get along with are the Hand-Raiser, the Televangelist, and the Robot.
*
*
If you scored near fifty percent for a certain trait (42%-58%), you could very well go either way. For example, someone with 42% Extroversion is slightly leaning towards being an introvert, but is close enough to being an extrovert to be classified that way as well. Below is a list of the other personality types so that you can determine which other possible categories you may fill if you scored near fifty percent for certain traits.
The other personality types:
The Emo Kid: Intuitive, Introverted, Gentle, Humble.
The Starving Artist: Intuitive, Introverted, Gentle, Arrogant.
The Bitch-Slap: Intuitive, Introverted, Brutal, Humble.
The Brute: Intuitive, Introverted, Brutal, Arrogant.
The Hippie: Intuitive, Extroverted, Gentle, Humble.
The Televangelist: Intuitive, Extroverted, Gentle, Arrogant.
The Schoolyard Bully: Intuitive, Extroverted, Brutal, Humble.
The Class Clown: Intuitive, Extroverted, Brutal, Arrogant.
The Robot: Rational, Introverted, Gentle, Humble.
The Haughty Intellectual: Rational, Introverted, Gentle, Arrogant.
The Spiteful Loner: Rational, Introverted, Brutal, Humble.
The Sociopath: Rational, Introverted, Brutal, Arrogant.
The Hand-Raiser: Rational, Extroverted, Gentle, Humble.
The Braggart: Rational, Extroverted, Gentle, Arrogant.
The Capitalist Pig: Rational, Extroverted, Brutal, Humble.
The Smartass: Rational, Extroverted, Brutal, Arrogant. |
 |
My test tracked 4 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender:
|
You scored higher than 11% on Rationality |
|
You scored higher than 85% on Extroversion |
|
You scored higher than 0% on Brutality |
|
You scored higher than 22% on Arrogance |
| |
|
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| frivolous |
[Apr. 30th, 2005|12:17 am] |
| [ | mood |
| | tired | ] |
exsistential mitchell continues to question our being.
he named his baseball team: the chicago white cubs
oh! the girls tried to name their team TH, but the boys
were going for something more manly/baseballish :)
Today was my last day of full time teaching and I know
I'm going to miss these kids.I still have 2 weeks left of part
time teaching. Eventhough I'll be back all of the time
I'm going to miss things like: This is easy!
or I only know this because of you and Ms. P!
I'm such a sucker.
I never talk about politics so here:
Dubya continues to make me giggle as I watched him
attempt to woo every demographic with his press conference
as if every socioeconomic group just is just waiting to hear about
themselves only and will ignore everything else he says.
He might as well just say,
"If go along with my plan,
it will be summer all year round,
and everyday will be taco/pizza day. So yeah!"
---
2 more weeks and I can play frisbee with everyone in the secret locale without
having to wake up at 5am. mmm yes. |
|
|
| now I'll never be an astronaut... |
[Apr. 27th, 2005|10:48 pm] |
| [ | music |
| | this is me smiling-demo | ] |
Your brain: 120% interpersonal, 120% visual, 120% verbal, and 40% mathematical!
|
Congratulations on being 400% smart! Actually, on my test, everyone is. The above score breaks down what kind of thinking you most enjoy doing. A score above 100% means you use that kind of thinking more than average, and a score below 100% means you use it less. It says nothing about how good you are at any one, just how interested you are in each, relatively. A substantial difference in scores between two people means, conclusively, that they are different kinds of thinkers.
Matching Summary: Each of us has different tastes. Still, I offer the following advice, which I think is obvious:
- Don't date someone if your interpersonal percentages differ by more than 80%.
- Don't be friends with someone if your verbal percentages differ by more than 100%.
- Don't have sex with someone if their math percentage is over 200%.
|
 |
My test tracked 4 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender:
|
You scored higher than 90% on interpersonal |
|
You scored higher than 81% on visual |
|
You scored higher than 91% on verbal |
|
You scored higher than 40% on mathematical |
| |
|
|
| i have proof that i'm the luckiest... |
[Apr. 27th, 2005|10:33 pm] |
I don't think ever felt more proud of my friends than i did today.
TH sent my students a box with a giant handmade card and 24 t-shirts
hand screened for them. The letter was so sweet and all of the kids felt so
special. Seeing kids who tell you that, "they'll never be lucky," smile from ear to ear and give you the metal sign is a beautiful thing.
When i started teaching alot of kids had emotional problems and some problems at home they were still dealing with.Over the last few months i've really been able to track a change in so many of them. They work harder and smile bigger. Between the letter and the card you could see their faces light up knowing that someone who doesn't even know them wanted to do something nice for them. I'm still a little awed. I only wish the guys could have seen it themselves.
This may be the nicest thing anyone has ever done for someone I care about.
The kids and i are planning an giant thank you gift back.. I'm thinking about recording them singing.. shhh. we'll see. something big for sure.
comments from everone:
on the card - wow! he really has nice handwriting (tep)
mitchell-he looks familiar (tep)
the girls- who's the blonde one?!
other kids- you can tell which one is the youngest
kids- which one is your favorite instrument?
unproffessional moment of the day- my exsistential question child proceded to tell me about the time he almost barfed on the bus on the way to the farm.
I died laughing. |
|
|
| "I don't even know who i am!"- mitchell |
[Apr. 25th, 2005|10:57 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  excited | ] |
3 years ago today I bawled my eyes out after receiving one of the first of many death notices I would receive in the coming years. To attempt to figure out things i went on a walk with a fine, upstanding gentleman. After swinging on swings and talking in the cold, we walked back to the dorms "going steady." And that's how it's been every since.
I don't think either of us ever believed we could be with anyone for 3 years or more... every month that added up seemed to be this constant feat... still is.
Today... was birdwatching day in 2nd grade. After reading them the riot act about using my super expensive adult binoculars, I led them out into the fields. They inched across the school yard as if we were storming the beaches of Normandy. Binoculars glued to sockets, furiously peering at the innocent prey. They were so excited just to see robins! Ltrain suggested I show them patton on my last day..
more on the weekend-I talked to meesh for 5 hours on Sunday. I haven't had a chance to talk to anyone from Dekalb for that long in a while. It was so nice having everyone together on Saturday. There are still a few kids I need to track down, but it was nice having everyone together again. |
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