This is my journal, for me to write what I want to write.
"If you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all!"
There is no such thing as a WRONG opinion, belief, feeling or situation. Merely a DIFFERENT one.
Like me or lump me. Please don't try to change me.
N.B. Sign your name to an anonymous comment or I won't know who wrote it!
Also, I screen some comments.
( More information/explanation... )

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It has been a depressing and exhausting day with one amazing upside - hubby did not faint for once when having fasting bloods drawn. The nurses and I doing mine at the same time and chattering distracted him and I reminded him to breathe which also helped, apparently!

I feel like such a bad cat-mummy. I had hoped that today's tweets would be available via LoudTwitter or TweetDumpr but not yet.

In lieu of those, here are the tweets I am hoping that LoudTwitter will be posting for me at 00:00 (via copy/paste with a few deletions from http://www.twitter.com/natalief/ (in reverse order of course):-

( click for why I feel crap (in reverse order) &helip; )

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P.S. Not looking forward to getting Pixel to take his tablets in the morning although if he is still this hungry I may be able to crush it into his food...

My feet, ankles, shins and calves are probably the most swollen they have been, hurt despite pain mends and feel like they will burst if I (or anything) touch(es) them! The new GP has ordered an ECG an chest x-ray for me in case it is related to my heart in any way - a strange correlation that I cannot understand to be honest. I'd have thought that it was to do with water retention and/or my lymphatic system rather than my heart and blood circulatory system. She is also wondering if it might be a drug interaction but I have not started any new drugs as recently as this swelling started. Ho hum...

In other news:

• My ear still hurts.


• My feet are more swollen than ever.


• I need to be up in a few hours to run hubby to the station but that should be okay.


• I have the car today and have counselling.


• My bus pass arrived yesterday and so I have my Freedom/Twhirly^† Pass!

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^† Twhirly ('too early') is 09:00 in Horsham District and 09:30 elsewhere in the country and so I am unlikely to come up against that!

"@regularjen said ""OMG! Just saw my first wild hedgehog ever! So cute! (almost home)"" Awwwwwww! ;-p",2008-07-22T23:57:19+00:00
@kplawver Shocker? Sry - don't get it. Made me thing of Apple ][ ...,2008-07-22T21:50:40+00:00
"Still asleep TBH. Woke up near the end of a vivid dream. Will never know what happens now! ;-p Ear spray made ear sting. Now ""merely"" hurts.",2008-07-22T21:47:56+00:00
"Crashed out after vet, collecting hubby from work and Tesco. Pixel is booked in to have the growth removed on Friday. They'll test it after.",2008-07-22T21:46:16+00:00
Feet are really uncomfortable but have to do this for the sake of Pixel's foot.,2008-07-22T15:14:09+00:00
Ugh - very busy day on top of 2 hours sleep plus 2 hours nap. Tonight/tomorrow I sleep!,2008-07-22T14:46:27+00:00
It is def. too hot to leave Pixel in the car today after vet even if he has water and the window is open. Will bring him home + go back out.,2008-07-22T14:45:50+00:00
May need to manually copy/paste my tweets to my LJ somehow. Does @twitter provide the ability to export tweets as text/CSV?,2008-07-22T14:28:57+00:00
@loudtweeter is not running at all IME! :(,2008-07-22T14:27:58+00:00
"@loudtweeter: ""loudtwitter currently runs in a degraded state due to new limits Twitter is imposing to everybody"" http://is.gd/1Rh",2008-07-22T14:27:38+00:00
nap wins,2008-07-22T11:51:48+00:00
Until I go to Tesco I cannot haz ear meds but I am feeling sleepy and so I think I will have to try to go to Tesco with Pixel in car after;/,2008-07-22T11:50:11+00:00
Driven hubby to work and been to Staples in Crawley and Hobbycrafy. Now need to decide; nap and then vet+Tesco or Tesco now vet later?,2008-07-22T11:48:32+00:00
"@twitter said ""Service availability ..."" I guess we at least get what we pay for ... um ...",2008-07-22T00:54:30+00:00
Driving hubby to work tomorrow. Also need to get meds at Tesco and take Pixel to vets hence needing the car. Should sleep soon but awake. ;/,2008-07-22T00:49:29+00:00
Visit to new GP went well. Pharmacy in Tesco was unable to dispense all the meds (and GP forgot to prescribe one+ I need) so ear pain still.,2008-07-22T00:47:52+00:00
Do Writers Read? (a friend asks on livejournal) http://alexmc.livejournal.c...,2008-07-23T13:57:28+00:00

(using TweetDumpr)

Jonathan Coulton, Creepy Doll.

Spiffworld video based on CreepyDoll.

WHATEVER else I listen to this is STILL in my ear, worming away, when there is otherwise silence (other than the ever-present tinnitus, of course).

Creepy Doll lyrics:

( clicky for lyrics … )

I have just read an amazing blog entry about the progression of disabilities such as MS and the "loss" of abilities that follow.

My blind acquaintance lost their sight at the age of 14 due to a genetic disorder. Prior to this age, they had 20/20 vision. I remember feeling so horrible to hear their story of being able to see the world once, then having it removed from their vision forever and I commented on how absolutely devastating that must have been for them...after all, wouldn't it have been better to have never had sight at all than to LOSE something so precious and KNOW it was gone?

My acquaintance (who at the time of the conversation, had been sightless for over 20 years) said this to me: "Had I never had sight as a child, I would have never truly seen beauty...I would have never been able to appreciate the colors and the movements people can describe to me now in my world. And I certainly would have never come to appreciate the senses I rely upon and have had to learn to use in different ways to "see" the world as you do through eyes. I am so lucky to have seen the beauty around me, if only for a short time."

I would post my comment here but I forget to copy it before hitting Publish and it is not yet approved for publication. I will keep checking and add it here if/when it is. It was something along the lines that I really needed to read that because I have been stuck mourning my losses and instead I could have been celebrating my accomplishments and remembering what they were like.

ETA: My comment was:

Thank you so much for writing this. I needed to read it.

I have always been absorbed by regrets and losses (abilities and people). I need to learn to think this way. That I have not lost the ability to do X or Y, rather that I once had the luck/fortune to be able to do it - that I have experienced it and/or been good at it.

Thank you.
*hugs*

"@sbisson so, inc. tax, what do I owe you in £? also, when shall we meet up? ;-p",2008-07-21T16:59:28+00:00
if @freeport can has new 3G iPhone then I can has his old (non-3G and no GPS boo hiss) one very soon!,2008-07-21T16:13:32+00:00
"@mcglk I will need a live demo later of @freeport 's happy bunny dance! I will try to video it for you!!! not that he'll let me, ofc... ;-p",2008-07-21T16:12:59+00:00
"LoudTwitter is @loudtweeter on Twitter, for some reason.",2008-07-21T16:09:54+00:00
@mcglk http://www.loudtwitter.com/ is LoudTwitter. It is how I get my tweets onto LJ.,2008-07-21T15:12:32+00:00
"I only managed to sleep for a little while. Now I'm wide awake and in pain so am taking more pain meds and doing ""stuff"".",2008-07-21T15:11:39+00:00
sooooooooo sleepy. nap for a bit i think,2008-07-21T15:10:31+00:00
@loudtweeter is not shipping my tweets to livejournal. This sucks big time! :(,2008-07-21T12:53:41+00:00
Very sore throat does not help the deaf in good ear with respect to phone calls. I can't hear them and they can't hear me!,2008-07-21T10:50:35+00:00
"@regularjen said ""now has one less big fancy wine glass to keep clean. Oopsy."" That is why I don't have fancy stuff. *hugs*",2008-07-21T10:36:56+00:00
"@regularjen said ""This productivity thing can't really be healthy can it? It feels so foreign to me! :D"" NO! Not healthy! Nap like cat! NOW!",2008-07-21T10:34:23+00:00
"@regularjen said ""has an amazing shrinking to-do list! Whoo-hoo!"" Anything to do with shrinking flat population? ;-p",2008-07-21T10:33:56+00:00
making phone calls when deaf in my good ear is easier said than done!,2008-07-21T10:33:15+00:00

(using TweetDumpr)

… although the microblogging is happening over at Twitter, it is just not getting copied here to LJ by LoudTwitter for some reason.

I seem to be blogging and microblogging far less than usual, at least partly because I seem to have the sore throat and ear infection of DOOM!!!! This s meant that I am sleeping a lot and so doing less.

In other news, Pixel has a growth between the toes on his back right foot. He is licking it non stop. We have him booked into the vet tomorrow afternoon.

In other-other news, my new (used three or four times for very small jobs) sewing machine has died. It no longer seems capable of picking up the bottom/bobbin thread with the top/nneedle thread and so is also incapable of sewing. I have had to resort to hand-sewing. A lot. Hubby needs a number of new pairs of trousers taking up 3". I am okay hand-sewing having done a lot over the years, but my eyes tire very easily right now (The MonSter, I bet) and so I can only really manage one leg hem at a time before needing a break.

Note to self - make optician appointment as soon as you are able to use the phone again.

In health news and in reference to making phone calls, my good ear for the phone (the one that is usually the least deaf) - the left one - is currently swollen shut and PAINFUL from yet another ear infection. I get them quite often because the dermatitis inside my ears gets infected. The pain does respond to ibuprofen + cocodamol (codeine and paracetamol) eventuallybut the swelling does not reduce much and so I am still, to all intents and purposes, deaf in that ear. That and the attendant sore throat make phone calls almost impossible - they can't hear me and I can't hear them with my right ear - hence why I usually use my left ear for the phone! I already had an appointment with the new GP this evening^† and so It will have to wait until then.

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^† "Hello new primary care doctor, I am the awkward one with a long list of meds and pre-existing 'conditions'. Now, the question is;

- are you a doctor that believes that I am the expert patient with respect to my my own unique subset of MS (and other) symptoms?
(in which case I will happily see you again)

- or are you, instead, one of the doctors that believes that patients should be seen, not heard and told what to do - they should definitely not have a mind of their own, a BSc Biochemistry and be able to do research for themselves into their symptoms and conditions on the internet let alone want things to be explained to them and be able to understand? (in which case I will avoid you forever even if you are the last GP on the planet)"

Shhhhhpoooky!,2008-07-21T10:32:22+00:00
@themattharris tweets that he arrives at SFO from the UK just as @sbisson tweets he is waiting in SFO for his flight back to the UK! ;-p oo!,2008-07-20T23:18:42+00:00
Let the next episode of blimp-feet begin!,2008-07-20T23:17:10+00:00
@davorg another option is viking direct,2008-07-20T23:14:01+00:00
@davorg I think I saw somwthing like that in Rymans,2008-07-20T17:16:07+00:00
I prescribe hitting things hard in WoW to deal with pissed-off-ness...,2008-07-20T17:15:48+00:00
@davorg staples?,2008-07-23T13:57:28+00:00
Looks like I will eb hand-sweing a lot this aftrenoon. Buying a cheap machine wasa false economy it seems.,2008-07-20T14:35:34+00:00
Can't get *bleep* sewing machine to work. Won't pick up bobin thread. PISSED OFF now. Hubby neds trousers turned up by tomorrow! :(,2008-07-20T14:34:59+00:00
@regularjen our bodies' timing SUCKS doesn't it?,2008-07-20T14:32:31+00:00
"@mollydotcom said ""all roofs should be graded IMO. ..."" I am in total agreement!",2008-07-20T11:32:30+00:00
"@regularjen said ""I just can't stop taking pictures with the thing! http://tinyurl.com/62gvp2"" Why would you want to stop? ;-p",2008-07-20T11:30:55+00:00
@sbisson Thank you! How much was it?,2008-07-20T11:28:01+00:00
"@regularjen said ""is a pants wrangler."" UKian pants (knickers/underwear) or USian pants (trousers)? ;-p",2008-07-20T11:26:17+00:00
Need to make an appointment for Pixel to see the vet. A sore patch between his toes has become a small sore growth... *dread and fear*,2008-07-20T11:22:36+00:00
@rebornspirit *hugs*,2008-07-20T11:20:54+00:00
Painkillers kicking in half an hour after waking in SO MUCH PAIN from this ear infection. Thank $deity I see the doctor tomorrow evening!,2008-07-20T11:19:59+00:00

(using TweetDumpr)

Life Hurts

Life is often good.
Today I have;
new keyboard,
new fountain pen,
new paper,
new opportunities to create.

New and overwhelming pain that does not respond to painkillers
that is not so good.
The pain meds change the pain to a roaring, low-pitched scream
from a screaming, high-pitched roar.
Slightly better is better than not better at all
so I will take that.

So, for now, life hurts.

© Natalie S Ford, written Sunday 20th July, 2008.

"@Vivdora said ""obviously posting while being driven bad idea!"" *smiles*",2008-07-20T11:19:44+00:00

(using TweetDumpr)

About to go down to Brighton with hubby for some shopping. Meanwhile, have some truth á la Garfield:

( clicky … )

I think they might be when it comes to their human lovers. The web comic, Two Lumps, addresses that issue in the cut comic!

( clicky? )