Myrdin's Musings .:thoughts|friends|calendar:. MyrdinX .: info | userinfo :. .: calendar | calendar :.

Girlsale .:24.07.07|13:28:. .: mood :|: Chilly :. Weird thing happened last week. I was stopping by my old job at Matrix when my friend Robert looked up at two girls coming into the place and nudged me with a kinda angry look. So after they pay and sit down to do their thing he tells me that they came in a few days ago for the first time and he got suspicious, after checking what they were up to he saw that they were putting up ads saying that they were whoring themselves out. So, this in itself is not illegal in sweden, only the act of paying for sex, not selling, is illegal as to not make women who are in a bad place criminals. So we were in a little bit of a dilemma, these girls were obviously new to the game and very young, and while it wasn't illegal maybe they should be made aware of the dangers and maybe even confronted with what they were actually getting into. After abit of a discussion he decides to call a cop he knows and have him talk to the girls, out of uniform as not to scare the them too much. Now a few days later he calls me and tells me that the girls were not at all 18 but 16, they had run away from home in southern sweden and were living in a hotel desperate for cash. In the hotelroom was also their 14 year old little sister who had run away with them, jesus. Hopefully these girls have gotten some help now and won't have to turn to turning tricks to make it, I mean, they probably had a reason to run away from home that's pretty dire considering they were willing to sell themselves to stay in Stockholm. Anyways this also got me thinking as to how I handle things, would I have had the guts to call the police on the girls even though they were not breaking any laws? Would I have confronted them myself? Would I have turned a blind eye? The answers so far are very unsatisfactory. add thought

Anger management .:12.06.07|10:57:. .: mood :|: creative :. .: music :|: computer buzz buzz :. I've been in a really foul mood lately and it's been bothering me. I've been trying to figure out what the hell it is that's been bothering me and doing that's made me ever more irritable and annoyed. So, as I've been thinking I've also been getting more and more introverted and unavailable wich hasn't been helping my relationship. All this thinking has led me to believe that what is bothering me is the lack of control over my life, both the fact that I've gained alot of weight recently and not having the freedom to do what I want as I've been accustomed to. Although I've been working for about a year now it still feels strange having a 9-17 schedule. I really relish the days I work nights wich is something I never did before =P. Now anyways I've decided to lose the extra weight with some excercise and eating better, just the fact that I'm doing abit to take back control over my life has done alot for my mood, working out also helps me be a happier and more confident version of myself. Tell you the truth at the moment I probably feel better than I have in months. With the summer here and my vacation around the corner things are looking up, I just hope that my vacation will be truly relaxing and not some kind of stress-out in the chase of tourism. My parents bought a flat in Sant Feliu de Guíxols in northern spain on the coast inbetween Barcelona and Girona, wich is to my advantage since they won't be using it this summer wich leaves it open to me and my girlfriend =D. I just hope we can relax even though we wont be there for that long and it usually takes me a few days to release the stress of daily life. add thought

Sporadic .:21.05.07|10:24:. .: mood :|: groggy :. .: music :|: The Skattalites - James Bond Theme :. Those are my updates as is my time. I know I talk alot about not having time, but probably is has to do with me not really feeling like writing much. As usual if I press myself to jot down a few lines they hardly make sense after a while. I sometimes feel like a sucker for trouble, I have this knight-complex where when I see people in trouble/problems I just want to help them. At the same time if I'm not feeling at least a little to the extreme, either happy, sad or just plain troubled I just don't have any creative energy at all. The energy somehow doesn't find me in my "normal" state, however abnormal that state might be. So the obvious question now, what's troubling me now? Well today hopefully Amalia get's her letter from konstfack or artfuck as I like to call it detailing as to whether she gets in or not. I've hardly slept, I'm so damn nervous since I know how much she wants this, although she's almost given up hope I'm on edge wondering if the damn letter will arrive today or not. Gods, this has me all tied up in knots with fruitless worry, it's not like I can do anything to change the outcome anyways. Hopefully the letter will be there with good news when we get home today, wish us luck =P. Other than that I feel strangely listless, no inspiration in me at the moment. I've thought about it alot, since usually I'm chock full of ideas of stuff to do and things to make etc. but lately I've just been without that drive. What I've been thinking about is how usually my inspiration comes to me when I'm most engrossed in something, when I go into an almost manic phase of immersion in some subject or other, but with a significant other in the picture I can't let myself be so engrossed in a subject as to let go of everything else as I usually do. So I'm kinda left between two hard choices, of leaving myself half interested in things or backing away as I'm prone to do and get involved in a subject of choice. add thought

Ignoring the day of silly .:14.02.07|16:21:. .: mood :|: groggy :. .: music :|: buzz buzz, whirr whirr :. Alot's being going on but as soon as I sit down to write something it all flies right out of my mind. Just to make it interesting I'm gonna try to ignore writing about what today is and instead see if I can't write something more interesting about what's been going on before today instead! I've started with WoW again, damnit! Right when I thought I was getting out, they draw me back in. Actually I was getting pretty fed up with no gaming and most singleplayer games I tried out just bored me to tears. Oblivion, Call of Cthulu etc, they all just got boring without interaction with other real people. Anyways, with the expansion of WoW I jumped on the wagon (fell off the wagon?) again. So now I'm lvl 70 with my little warlock and preparing for the arena that's coming out tomorrow. My girlfriends mom recovered aswell! Apparently what she was suffering from was a very rare form of athritis. Wierd that it would settle in her throat, but then again not unheard of. She got medication for it and is getting better by the day. When she got back from the hospital I asked my girlfriend if we shouldn't go live with her mom for a week or so to help her get settled back at home. This was very shocking apparently to her and her mom, again the culture differences between our two families becomes apparent. But they were both happy when we did go there and stay for a week. Although the girl was almost driven mad by living with her mother again, hehe, I guess going back isn't easy sometimes. I've been searching like mad for some new music, but the whole front seems kinda slow at the moment. The latest find is different bit-music bands, but I'm running out of good material from that side. I've been thinking about maybe delving into Riot-Grrl music, just to see if there's something there worth listening to. I think high energy punk would be nice with spring around the corner. How do grownups make time for things? It's something that I can't get at all, with work, trying to get some excercise, spending time with my woman and all the daily chores of cooking and cleaning, how will I get time to play games as much as I really, really, want to? Just finding some alone-time to spend thinking and finding inspiration seems an impossible task. Sure I could say that I'd want to be alone for a whole day, but I'd go crazy trying to do all the stuff I usually don't have time for since I'd know that it would be outside the norm to get so much time to spare. That would kinda counteract the whole idea =(. I need a vacation soon, I'm starting to feel the need for some free time pretty badly. add thought

Ireland and the big C .:29.12.06|10:15:. .: mood :|: anxious :. .: music :|: P3 :. I travelled to Ireland for christmas. There was food in abundance, presents, children and of course the obligatory Drama. It's wierd how somehow I turn into a kid again whenever I'm with my parents abroad. I think it's the whole thing about being totally at someone elses mercy when it comes to getting around, although that is probably grossly oversimplifying things. Me and Amalia had a good talk about it, how I somehow go apathetic compared to my normal self when I was there. It opened my eyes to how I've always felt and acted when visiting my parents in Afrika when I was younger. I go all moody and pissed when in a disempowered situation that's not really under my own control. We did have a nice time though, drank some Guinness at the pub, had all kinds of local foods, got presents for each other =) and of course played with my new nieces =D. Ireland is a nice place, but everyone is so damn relaxed and friendly it puts me on edge, I feel like a total outsider that's not this relaxed and totally nice and friendly person. Wierd really, but I guess it'd probably go easier if I had some friends with me whom I'd have more of a repartee with. And then comes the big C. Let me first give some background information. Amalia's mom has been feeling pretty under the weather lately, coughing, having trouble breathing properly, hoarse voice etc. None of he medicin that's shes gotten the last 2 months has done anything for her (among other things 2 boughts of increasingly stronger Penicillin). So yesterday Amalia called her mom and talked to her, at wich she noticed that she really had large troubles breating. So she went over and forced her to the emergency room, she's a really demure woman that doesn't want to take any space at all, very frustrating at times. Once there she finally got some decent help, although it probably was alot due to the fact that Amalia was there and was able to push for something to be done like a proper examination. Anyways, it seems that her mom just got tranferred to the cancer treatment ward in Karolinska institutet and now we can't get in proper touch with her mom either, I think she's really shocked about the news or just doesn't want to worry her children or something. Damn that sucks, I'd be all to pieces if that happened to my mom and I'd probably be calling my family all over the world to come help and visit and whatever, I guess it has to do with my latin heritage. I was almost shocked that after she called her grandmother all she got was "Send her my regards and I'll pray for her to get better", I'd expect my own grandmother to call heaven and hell to get some more information on to what's going to be done etc. My poor Amalia, I feel crushed. add thought

Musik and games .:21.11.06|10:23:. .: mood :|: groggy :. .: music :|: whizz, whizz, buzz, buzz :. It's been a hectic weekend follwing a hektik week. Last week was crazy, work just piled up on me like mad. The weekend was fun though, we had dinner with a friend friday evening and after that I heard that one of my favorite "bands" were having a session close by so we went there to see them. It was an awesome set, I've never seen them live (Slagsmålsklubben that is) and it was well worth the money. Not only that but as a bonus I got hit on by some girls wich was really flattering and a huge boost to ye olde ego. Day after me and Amalia met up with one of her friends and went to see a few expositions, Östasiatiska museet, Arkitektmuseet and Moderna museet. After that we were invited to a moving-in party at wich we stayed till waaaaay too late. Finally on sunday we got tickets to the Stockholm Film Festival and went to see a few movies, Little Miss Sunshine wich was pretty good, albeit quite predictable, Clerks II at wich I almost left assless as I laughed it off and a danish animated movie called Princess that I didn't really like that much. I think I need a vacation after this weekend. Just sitting at home hermitting infront of my computer with Neverwinter Nights 2 would be a good cure. add thought

Breaking the Code .:30.10.06|06:25:. .: mood :|: moody :. .: music :|: Big Sky (with Tom G.Warrior) - Probot :. I know I promised both you and myself that I'd update more often, but what can you do? Things always seem to keep getting in the way, this time I'll just say Fuck it and just update when I feel like it. So, it's 6am and I'm at work, been here for a little over an hour or so =(. What, you might ask, am I doing here? Well, hell if I know, working I guess but I'm too tired to fully know what I'm doing. I just hope I don't mess up too much, otherwise "bad things might happen" (tm). Bad part is I have 2 more nights that I need to work this week, it's gonna be a pain to actually resemble anything even close to a human being. Feck. Let's see now, what's been going on lately? I finally finished reading "Hero of a Thousand Faces". while interesting to read it was just on the border of a textbook, you know, the kind that frustrates you with anal-retentive writing. I think the book will influence my writing abit, it's hard now not to analyze what I read or write into the context of that book. I'm still trying to cope with my new life as a working man, it's hard. How do people do it? working 8-17, getting home, cooking dinner, eating and suddenly it's time for bed. The grind of it all is starting to get to me. I'm just not used to being so locked into a routine. I've always been very much my own person, doing whatever I feel like when I feel like. I'm not planning on quitting or anything, but sometimes I wish I could. I'm starting to chafe at the bit, a vacation would be nice, just a week or two of being able to do whatever. No plans, no commitments, nothing that needs to be done. Although chances of life being like that again, now that I'm not single, are pretty slim to none =P. I also put up some of my writing on poeter.se, I started to see the problem of critics. I keep having to tell myself that if my texts alone don't present my ideas and points then it's a problem with the text not the reader. I know it's my writings responsability to convet what I want said, not me as a writer to discuss it with the reader, but sometimes it's hard to not argue, considering my nature =P. It feels like I have a thousand things I'd like to write, but then again I hate long-ass updates. So I'll save it for another time =). add thought

Gazillion of things .:18.08.06|16:04:. .: mood :|: busy :. So much is happening I hardly have time to write much here anymore. I went to Paris with Amalia last weekend, took friday and monday off and went to Paris for four whole days. It was awesome, even though unfortunatly Amalia was sick and had a cold the whole weekend, the poor thing, so she had to stand me pulling her around all the museums and churces I wanted to see. I went to the Louvre and saw the Botticelli exibit I wanted to see and of course the Mona Lisa and others. Then we went to the 15th-17th century Netherlands wing, only thing I missed (cause of lack of time) was their Rodin collection =(, sad since I really love Rodin, his statues are breathtaking. Also went to Saint Chapelle wich was awesome, Sacre Couer wich was tiring but alas I missed Museum D'Orsay and the impressionist collection they have. I'll go there for sure next time, and maybe the Louvre again to see Rodin. All in all I wish I'd had at least a few more days, maybe a whole week would have been enough to see the things I wanted to see. I think I'll get a hotel with a better bed next time though, the bed was so soft that we basically slept ontop of each other. Also in other news I've gotten a sort of promotion, not that I'm making more money or anything, but I got designated as TKA (teknisk kund ansvarig i.e. technical koordinator) for Svenska Dagbladet, wich means basically I'm the guy in charge of all the windows servers for one of the largest newspapers in the country =S. Scary but at the same time nice that I've gotten a more permanent position at work since I'm employed as a consultant. Anyways work calls again, I'll try to prioritize updating more frequently. add thought

Cycle .:13.07.06|09:40:. .: mood :|: accomplished :. .: music :|: Radio Gugu :. I got my hands on a bicycle and I decided to use it to get to work today, freaken hell I'm tired, my legs are shaking and I was so sweaty when I got to work it's silly =P. I have a vague feeling I might be terribly out of shape. Still it was fun to finally get some excercise, I spend so much time sitting on my ass at this job that I was expecting it to be well trained, still the bicycle seat seems to have been made by a sadistical torturer with too much interest in punishing the human derriere. Also in other news, as I was reading my old posts and I noticed that I haven't written anything about my sisters kids! They finally got born, late as I predicted, on the other hand it was two girls, rather than the two boys I predicted. So while my clairvoyant streak might not be too wide it's half functional =). I'll try to put up some pictures at some point, for my birthday my sister gave me a couple of beautiful pictures of the two girls (Roisin and Emma), whom I personally think looked more like ET than anything else when they were born. I've now booked tickets to Paris for august, so I'm all set on that front, just need to gather some money to pay back the loans I had to take last month to cover the fact that I was a month without pay. But with the fact that my expenses are severly limited these days it might not be a large problem. You never know thought what kind of surprises life might toss you. add thought

Birfday .:11.07.06|10:58:. .: mood :|: busy :. .: music :|: Radio Gaga :. What a party, it was pretty damn amazing how many people actually showed up at my party =D. So I took the whole friday off to get ready and do some serious birthday partying, my 30th. So, considering that you don't change decades that often I thought I'd do something special, my first idea was to throw a party at some locale, but everyone does that so I decided instead to just invite everyone I know, get them drunk with as much free booze as I could afford and just have fun. I bought a grill, beer, a couple of bottles of booze and had a blast. My poor appartment and the courtyard outside was packed to the limit with people, I think that we were up to about 50 or more at my place, I kinda lost count after a while when more and more of my friends started arriving. Everyone seemed to have fun aswell, noone got obscenely drunk and started messing up stuff, the worst was that people got sleepy or played musik too loudly =P. Funny thing happened while I was sms'ing people with invitations, an old telephonenumber I had to an even older friend gave me a wierd response, apparently he had changed numbers and the old one went to some total stranger whom I invited to my party instead. She didn't show up though, wich was a shame, it's always fun to meet new people and totally randomly meeting them is the best way =P. Damn friends though, always teasing me for getting older and more grownup, counting my "Vuxenpoäng" (grownup points). Apparently I'm topping the chart with a steady girlfriend, an appartment in the centre of town and a steady job =P. I still feel like a kid though, just playing at being grownup and doing grownup stuff, whenever I get the chance I still mostly just mess about and just hang out with my friends doing nothing and drinking coffee/beer somwhere in Söder. My work is starting to get more exciting aswell, I'm learning so much new stuff it's silly really. Boring to explain though, it doesn't really make for exciting writing. SAN disks, server clusters, SCSI raid sets, fibrechannel cards etc. not really that exciting to write about =P. add thought

The Hospital .:09.06.06|16:14:. .: mood :|: tired :. .: music :|: Work Jukebox :. My mom woke up with a migrane yesterday and went to the ER. She had some trouble last year, some kind of neurological thing that left half her face paralized for a few weeks, so my dad kinda freaked out when he heard she was having a migrane and told her to get it checked out. Wierd thing is that I'm not the least bit worried, seems to me that it'll work out fine. I just have this gut feeling that she's ok. Anyways, she spent the night in the hospital for some checkups and is having an MRI scan today, I'm gonna call her after work to see if everything's ok. I'm having this wierd bout of prescient feelings lately, I have this feeling that my sister will be abit late with giving birth to her twins, wich btw should be any day now, she was set for june 15 so it's getting really really close. God, who thought I'd become an uncle so damn soon. Otherwise nothing much is happening really, I'm planning a trip to Paris with Amalia later next month or so. It'll be great =D, both me and her are really interested in architecture and museums, so we'll walk around Paris the whole time to see all the sights. Or rather, as much as you can see in one weekend =P. We also have to travel to Ireland for the twins' baptism. That'll be nice, Ireland is such a great country and with the baptism I should be able to spend some time in the pub celebrating. My main grief at the moment is the lack of time that I have, with work eating 9 hours a day it feels as I hardly have any time at all anymore, I just hope that the paycheck that's coming will ease the pain =P. add thought

Arrrgh! .:24.05.06|11:25:. .: mood :|: angry :. .: music :|: Primus - Fisticuffs :. So fucking annoyed! So apparently as it happens I'm not getting payed this month at all, since the work is on a consultant basis the pay is always one month delayed. So here I am stranded without any money at all. Not that it's the end of the world since my parents will help me out without any trouble at all. But the feeling of living on borrowed money and knowing that this won't be fixed till at least another three months or so is really annoying, I'd have expected that a job with a higher wage wouldn't have left me so damn poor in the process =(. Ohwell, at least today is a halfday at work then I'm off to the countryside for the whole 4-day weekend =D, that at least will be awesome. I'm planning on relaxing and spending some serious quality time with Amalia =). add thought

Hellweek .:13.05.06|14:28:. .: mood :|: sick :. .: music :|: The Ramones - I Wanna Live :. So, I've had my first patchweek och Svenska Dagbladet. I worked normal hours mon, wed and fri, and 03-17 on tue and thur. So basically I lived with around 3 hours sleep a night all week. To add to all this we had the worst patch of pollen in almost 13 years and I managed to get a cold aswell. So I was basically out for the count the whole week but I couldn't call in sick because this was something that was very important that I see and get experience in doing. Now that it's finally weekend I've decided to take a break from everything and just sleep and maybe play a little DoTA or fumbbl, hopefully the rest will get me time to get better before I worn out to a nub. I'm starting to feel better though, so hopefully it'll work out. One of the good things about not sleeping and only working till noon every second day was that the week felt really short and I had alot of spare time to spend with Amalia =D, who btw wrote me her first loveletter ever. It was kinda confused and mixed up but oh-so-cute =), I'm thinking about writing one back to her so that she can read it when she gets back from work later on today, she needs some love atm, she's abit down cause she didn't get into the school she really wanted to study =/. Ohwell, I think I'm gonna play some games and relax some more, onwards and forwards. add thought

First day at work .:24.04.06|22:12:. .: mood :|: hyper :. .: music :|: P3 Radio :. So, my first day at work got me feeling like a total blueberry (swedish expression). I got my login, a phone and a desk with a computer. I'm missing a few key ingredients to be able to do my work, the 3 different login accesses, a simcard that actually works for my phone, a email account that's tied to my login information etc. etc. Basically I was installing the shitty computer that I was assigned and trying to get all the software that I need to work properly. I didn't really manage it that well =(. I did manage to write down a plan on what to do tomorrow, what things I need to get done etc. We'll see what happens with that. All in all I'm pretty happy, only problem is that it's located in Lilla Essingen and getting there isn't all that simple, it's fairly close, but since I have to take a bus that doesn't pass close to where I live it's kinda awkward. Oh, Spajs put up some new pictures of when we were out drinking here and here. Check em out =). add thought

Worky .:20.04.06|01:42:. .: mood :|: excited :. .: music :|: House MD s2e17 :. I got a new job, yay, wee and squee! It's kinda scary though, my first real job after graduation =S. Things have been going so great lately I almost feel envious of myself, Amalia rocks, my life is working out so well, I'm having loads of fun. It's so good I'm almost just waiting for the other shoe to drop, but hey, maybe it wont =P. So, pay is about a 40% increase after taxes, so that's nice, working hours are 08-17 mon-fri, wich means that I'll be having "normal" working and sleeping hours for the first time in about 8 years or so =P. Hehe, it will be quite a thing to get used to, to actually have to get up at the time every morning 5 days a week. I have this great plan though to make the whole work thing more fun. I'll be getting a imaginary boat. Boats are a huge deal here in sweden, feels like damn every young professional has one. But since I'm totally uninterested in the whole boat thing I'm pretending to have a boat to be able to tell all these funny, but totally made-up boatstories. I'll write my progress about that on this journal and we'll see what happens =D. Yesterday I was out drinking with Majs, Spajs, Majs' girlfriend, Pimpas (Daniel) and Robban Pobban. Was alot of fun although we kept making fun of Majs' girlfriend the whole evening, she did have fun too though I think. After a while Amalia swung by and said hi too. She finished her work for the Architect application that same day so she was totally exhausted. I was really impressed by her work though, it was really well done. So we celebrated that and the fact that it was Pimpas birthday =P. I just hope so much that she gets in to the architect school, I think she really deserves it and will do so well studying that. So this monday I'm off to my new job, wish me and Amalia luck everyone =). add thought

Eggs .:15.04.06|03:44:. .: mood :|: mellow :. .: music :|: The Smiths - Hand In Glove :. I haven't written in a while, wich usually is a good sign that things are going pretty well. I usually only write alot when I'm feeling lonely and depressed. I guess it's a need to put it down into writing so I can look at it with some detachments, to put things into a third person view so to speak. It also makes things easier to handle, for some reason I can write things down that I have a hard time thinking about or even admitting to myself. Tomorrow Amalia and I have a easter potluck lunch planned, I invited Knobben so that it wouldn't just be her friends here. I dunno how he'll fit in though, he's such a nice guy but kinda antisocial like most of my friends =P. I guess I'll have to work abit at it to make him feel more at home with the people that show up, I'm looking forward to introducing him to some new people, hopefully he'll connect with them abit and have some fun. I worry about him really, he needs some social stimuli, poor guy hardly ever meets people. He even admitted as much himself, that he was feeling more and more cut off from the world. Hopefully this will give him a break from that feeling. Nothing much happening really, I've started downloading One-Piece, Spajs fooled me into watching it at work today and it's really funny. So I think I'll download a few hundred episodes so that I have them in case of a rainy day =). add thought

Plans .:07.04.06|01:33:. .: mood :|: content :. .: music :|: House MD - s02e11 :. Me and Spajs have a plan, we got a friend that works as a DJ in Underbara Bar, just a block from where I live. He also has a hand in "Sound of Paris" wich is some kind of party arrangers here in Stockholm. So we've decided we're gonna make him our best friend and Underbara our favorite bar =P. We're also gonna try to startup a game-for-beer program with the fellow so that we can get some cheaper beers and stuff, so far I think it's working out pretty well =D. Things with Amalia are working out very well, she told me she loved me for the first time a few days ago, I've been thinking it over the last few days since it kinda took me abit by surprise. Not the words in themselves, but that she said it. I still feel slightly scared at the prospect of it all, not that I think it's a bad thing, just that sometimes the memories of what happened before just remind themselves and I get scared that I'll get hurt again. Still, it's better than anything I've ever felt before, I find myself wishing that she'd never leave so that I'd always be able to talk to her. I wonder if that feeling will persist. add thought

Nyckelviken .:03.04.06|00:31:. .: mood :|: achy :. .: music :|: Portishead - Western Eyes :. I went to Nyckelviken today with Amalia, it's a design school in Lidingö here in Stockholm. They were having their yearly spring expo and she wanted to show me the school that she loved/-s so much. It was really cool and inspirational, almost makes me wish I had studied something like that instead of what I did study. The atmosphere was so creative and fun, I had forgotten how much fun learning can be if you truly like what you're doing. Anyways, we had an amazing day. I can't believe how lucky I am to have found someone this cool so fast, almost makes me think it's too good to be true =P. add thought

Amalia .:30.03.06|23:01:. .: mood :|: tired :. .: music :|: Depeche Mode - World Full of Nothing :. So, I guess I have a new girlfriend =). God it's surprising, after Steph I didn't think I'd be able to recoup this fast, even though occasionally it still twinges abit. With Amalia it's like nothing else exists. The world kind of fades away and we just talk till the sun comes up. We decided to force ourselves to sleep apart for a few days, we've both been like zombies lately cause we hardly ever sleep. I've even managed to get her a rash on her nose from my goatee from too much kissing =P. It's a good idea though, even though I feel like I'm missing something when she's not around, I keep peeping over my shoulder to see why it's so quiet >_<. Anyways, I work till 3am this whole weekend so it's a good excuse to be apart for a few days, we'll see if I manage it though =P. add thought

Happy .:23.03.06|02:39:. .: mood :|: hopeful :. .: music :|: TV - Simpsons :. My life feels so much better now, things are working out for me in a way that I never would have thought possible a few months ago. I'm with a girl I really like that likes me back as much, I'm getting in touch with friends I've almost lost contact with, I feel more positive and outgoing than in a long time. Things are really looking up at the moment, of course things could be better, they always can, but it doesn't feel impossible to get there anymore =). I'm still looking for a good game, WoW almost had me but kinda lost me in the end, I've been trying out some singleplayers now like the new Call Of Cthulhu game, Gunz Online, etc. but nothing really grabs me. I have high hopes for Warhammer Online though but that doesn't come out till 2007 at least. Ohwell, we'll see, at the moment I'm no big hurry =). add thought

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