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Apr. 20th, 2005

  • 6:40 PM
do girls
Hungry Heart: WAAAARARAAGHGNAWNAHGAHWBHH~! KANOUCEST IS AS BLATANT AS THE STARS ON THE SKY! WHAT KIND OF WTF OLDER BROTHER GIVES A BOUQUET OF FUCKIN' RED ROSES WITH A RIBBON ATTACHED TO HIS YOUNGER BROTHER AND CAN'T EVEN MEET HIS EYES WHILE DOING SO?! WHAT KIND OF YOUNGER BROTHER SMILES LIKE AN IDIOT WITH SUCH A PRESENT?! WHAT KIND OF YOUNGER BROTHER STARES AT HIS OLDER BROTHER'S DAMN RIPPLING MUSCLES?! - I know that nobody understands me because it seems that I'm the only one who watches it. *ignores the stupid females in the show*

I come bearing a fic.

Readers: HUWAAAAAT?!

Uh-huh. For some odd reason I was bored and it was just a spur-of-the-moment type, really. I just had to type something else other than my original fiction. Oh, and please gaze at the title. Stare at it, let the words sink in. Then read. Okay? There. (Usually people disregard titles in their hurry to read the content).

SHALLOW WATERS
Author: Mushroom
Rating: G, unless you count the part that they’re both twelve year old boys.
Pairing: Sasunaru one-sided POV
Summary: A pointless drabble. If you’re looking for fluff, this is not it. No angst either. Just random stuff.
Notes: I can’t believe I just wrote a fic. I CAN’T BELIEVE IT. I don’t know if they have phone lines in Konoha, but since they have microwave ovens and television, I merely assumed. If there aren’t, consider this an AU. XP I suck.




Dobe = stupid.
Usuratonkachi = Sasuke's "pet" name for Naruto. It means idiot or something, along the lines of that word. It's long and difficult to say, but Sasuke still insists on using it. OMG it's love!

Shallow Waters


Naruto’s apartment was cold and clammy when he entered. He had been away on missions for many weeks, so inhaling the air in the stuffy room came as a shock for him. He wasn’t glad that he was back, however; there was no one to talk to at home. Home.

Unless…

Naruto hastily dressed in his pajamas, chucked his sleeping cap over his head, and picked up the phone. He dialed a number he remembered by heart, though he never really knew why the hell he bothered with such knowledge. Ringing, in his ears; it seemed louder than the alarm clock, and it was telling him something. He waited patiently, tangling his fingers on the wire like he was nervous. Just like.

“Hello?” Came a sleepy voice.

A zany grin spread on Naruto’s face as he practically jumped on his bed. “SASUKE!!!”

He heard Sasuke curse, then a loud thwack (probably his elbow hitting the bed post), then he answered. “What the fuck do you want?! It’s way past midnight.”

The gruffness of his tone made Naruto’s smile widen; another one of those occurrences that had no explanation whatsoever. “Stop being such an ass, asshole. I was just told to remind you that Kakashi-sensei will meet us at the bridge tomorrow morning.”

“I already knew, dobe. I’m always informed ahead of you.”

“WHAT?! What did you call me?!!!”

“Usuratonkachi.”

Their bickering continued for several minutes, Naruto screaming until his voice turned hoarse ("Hey Sasuke! How dare you speak to me like that?!") and Sasuke replying with an air of boredom and annoyance ("Gah, so noisy at such a late time."). Finally, they were tired of flinging insults at each other. The only thing that could be heard was the sound of their heavy breathing, and it seemed to end the battle…at least for a while.

“Damn you, Sasuke.” Naruto croaked for the last time, then completely gave in. He started coughing wildly while pressing his clenched fist on his lips. When the coughing ceased, he realized that the bastard was still listening.

A sigh was heard through the line. “I’m going to sleep. You better sleep too, or else you might be late tomorrow.” A snicker. “Stupid.”

“I WON’T BE LATE! Hell, I’m the one who reminded—“

His rebuttal was interrupted by a receiver being slammed down, followed by the dull noise of the busy tone. Darn it, he hung up first. Naruto lay back on his comforter, blinking, trying to sleep.

Heh.

A smile found itself on his lips, and it was so sudden it was difficult to stop it. He tried hard to tighten his jaw, to disguise the tremor of laughter, but the smile fought his way in until he found himself laughing madly, blankets twisting here and there, left hand clutching his shivering belly.

Naruto laughed by himself and he was used to it, but this felt strange. His laughter told the walls everything, and they listened intently (Laughter was a first in the sad confines of his own apartment). He said hello, the plain white walls heard. The bastard said hello first.

Trivial, but Naruto felt comfort.



I changed it a bit, [info]kikiam. ^^ Thank you for reading it beforehand!

Comments

[info]sarj_hoshino wrote:
Apr. 20th, 2005 11:50 am (UTC)
Hmm, I dunno what to comment. I don't feel like it has that much substance, not because it's supposed to be a short, spur-of-the-moment thing . . . maybe because the storyline doesn't involve anything very significant - I mean, that phone conversation, pretty boring Naruto-Sasuke bickering. Yeah, it's usually boring in the anime itself since they do it practically ALL the time, but I guess to incorporate it in a fic as its primary gist is . . . redundant. The last part didn't even come through that strongly with its meaning. Sorry if I'm being mean. It was just bland for me, but your narration was very much intact as always.
[info]sarj_hoshino wrote:
Apr. 20th, 2005 11:56 am (UTC)
PS: I've got nothing against "pointless fics" since I've spawned a handful of them myself, but there's the ability to write trash and still make it seem memorable or something - I've read fic authors who've done so. With your writing prowess I think you should be able to nail it if you try. ;)
[info]mushroom18 wrote:
Apr. 20th, 2005 12:12 pm (UTC)
Hmmmm...

It was quite shallow, but that was my point. XD

YES, I needed that. Thank you.
[info]kikiam wrote:
Apr. 20th, 2005 11:52 am (UTC)
Aaah~ Ngayon parang mas may reason na si Naruto matuwa. XD
[info]mushroom18 wrote:
Apr. 20th, 2005 12:42 pm (UTC)
^____^
[info]saihara wrote:
Apr. 20th, 2005 12:35 pm (UTC)
Gwehehehehehehehe~ Nothing like Sasunaru for the (ispirationless) SAD tired soul...
[info]saihara wrote:
Apr. 20th, 2005 12:37 pm (UTC)
OH AND I WATCH HUNGRY HEART TOO....*loser*
[info]mushroom18 wrote:
Apr. 20th, 2005 12:42 pm (UTC)
waheheheheheheeeheeeheeeh. ^^
[info]chastity_rowan wrote:
Apr. 21st, 2005 12:20 am (UTC)
SDJFSDKLJF!!!1!one!

OMG I SOF LOVE YOUR ICON <3333

OMFGKEELJOO XD
[info]mushroom18 wrote:
Apr. 21st, 2005 10:12 am (UTC)
waheheheh. << vast knowledge of sources
[info]z_r_o wrote:
Apr. 20th, 2005 06:44 pm (UTC)
Wehe, I watch Hungry Heart too >DDD And I agree with your observations in yesterday's ep *fufufu*

Nice drabble btw, I like your Sasuke and Naruto ^^
[info]mushroom18 wrote:
Apr. 21st, 2005 10:12 am (UTC)
Yay, thank you! I just love the Kanou brothers, they're so LOVE. ^^
[info]chastity_rowan wrote:
Apr. 21st, 2005 12:18 am (UTC)
Bitch.

I'm alive XDDDD
[info]mushroom18 wrote:
Apr. 21st, 2005 10:11 am (UTC)
WE BITCHES LIVE. >.
[info]star_flare wrote:
Apr. 21st, 2005 03:03 am (UTC)
Great job in characterizing Sasuke.
I like the "rivalry", and the last part.
But it seems to lack a little meat. =P You should try to build up the parts before and after the phone call, and Naruto's feelings, IMO.
It's a good fic; but it can be better. You have lots of potential. XD

Like I'm one to talk. I write a lot of drabble too, lol.
[info]mushroom18 wrote:
Apr. 21st, 2005 10:13 am (UTC)
^____________^ Thank you! I didn't want to extend the fic because I was following a limit. But I'll keep that in mind when I think of writing other fics. XD
[info]nekoism wrote:
Apr. 21st, 2005 01:01 pm (UTC)
I watch hungry heart, too. *one more loser on your way. XD*

Anyways, the story is your usual sasu-naru bicker stuff... but surely, you've done quite a nice job in making an ordinary thing otherwise, so i berate you for that. I wish i can do good stuff like that, too. Rawr.

*waves "go mush-sama!" banners* More power and improvement. :)
[info]mushroom18 wrote:
Apr. 28th, 2005 05:44 pm (UTC)
*late comment*

XD

That was done on a whim. NO MUSH-SAMA ALLOWED. XD
[info]caiphas wrote:
Apr. 22nd, 2005 09:02 am (UTC)
...I don't see what's so SasuNaru about your SasuNaru...am not influence by you enough?

I agree with [info]sarj_hoshino, it doesn't have much substance. But anyway, I know you can do better :)
[info]mushroom18 wrote:
Apr. 28th, 2005 05:46 pm (UTC)
*late comment*

I think it's OOC when they start ranting about love and stuff like that. Sure, they're CANON, but they're boys. Twelve-year-old boys to be exact. But it's a "building-up"

It doesn't? ;_; Why am I the only one who sees the "substance" in this fic?

[info]luinthoniel wrote:
Apr. 23rd, 2005 04:21 pm (UTC)
In fairness sa akin, I didn't open my dictionary. HAHA!!! Sowee, ang weird ko. HAHA!!!
[info]mushroom18 wrote:
May. 2nd, 2005 04:11 pm (UTC)
NGAKERS KA TALAGA :))
[info]luinthoniel wrote:
May. 3rd, 2005 02:11 pm (UTC)
Ei, check your 500 + unread emails, I always comment on your entries. ^_~

hgnodxnt'qddminxhfxntqkzxnts
[info]jyusan wrote:
Jan. 2nd, 2008 12:11 pm (UTC)
Hi there! I'm for the future and I wouldn't have bothered commenting if i hadn't seen the other comments.

Because I think this little story was EXTREMELY ADORABLE, how Naruto searches for that little comfort in Sasuke, and still they can only speak the rivals' language, but that's the only thing he knows, he's known it for years, it's the one stable point in his life, thus it gives him comfort, he doesn't get it why, but it feels good.

And it was great reading. :3
[info]mushroom18 wrote:
Jan. 2nd, 2008 01:34 pm (UTC)
Haha, it's a good thing that all comments go to my inbox. This was a very pleasant surprise! Thank you so much! ♥

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