Once again I am a medical mystery and I think I've been diagnosed with its all in your fucking head syndrome.

For the past 2 and a half weeks I have been hurting all over. As in all over from head to toe and touch sensitive. I went to my psychiatrist because I had an appointment with him already and he told me to get to my family doctor, I did.

My family doctor is a joke I usually go into to see the first person available and none of them seem to know what i.c. is and when that is one of your major medical problems that can be bad.

I go in tell him and the doctor in training that is with him what is going on, Dr. guy keeps asking me how old I am like that is relevant, part of my brain is wondering if it is okay to hurt him if he says something like you are to young for these kind of problems thankfully at 27 I'm growing out of the stupid statement. So here I am in pain, telling him what is going on and while he is looking my me my arms and legs start tingling the worst they have ever, and then get discolored Dr. guy and in training guy get a little freaked out. . .at this point I'm think well they believe me at least. Thank you body for playing along for once. He looks at the list of meds I'm on he first starts to say something about another pill the latches on to the one I take for sleep telling be to stop taking it to see if that well help. Great I a doctor that is anti-medication.

I tell him how I am taking to much aleve and how it is barely touching the pain. . .he says something about some syndrome I could go into if he gives me painkiller I'm thinking bs because I've been given pain killer while on the meds I'm currently on, and that was by doctors that know me better then this joker and listened to me.

They tell me to go to the hospital and get some blood tests, I walk out of the office with mixed fillings. Since I still cannot drive I meet my mother who also had an appointment, my two young (6 months and 3 years) nephews in the van. I see her and get worried she tells me her pain is either appendicitis or kidney stones and she needs to go to the ER.

I tell her the deal was we don't both fall apart that the same time, one of us is sick the other is healthy it as worked well till now. . .my sister is already on her way home from work since I am in no shape to take care of the boys by myself for very long. Along with the pain I've been so fatigued I barely do anything but sleep.


But Adam who is three has that amazing child ability to know when something is going on and since he gets the attention he needs when he knows that he can play by himself, not that he never acts out he is 3 after all. Scott is just now starting to sit up by himself. So I just watched and talk to them both while trying to think and stay calm. Mainly keeping Scott from tipping over and hurting his cute little head while he plays and saying then like "Adam I don't thinks Scott wants to smell your shoe right now." Bless.

Fast forward my mother has her appendix out and I'm visiting her in the hospital. During the past few days I've noticed I am light sensitive I've also noticed florescent lights are downright evil. I'm also so tired I can barely do anything while not being able to sleep because I'm not supposed to take my sleeping pill joy. While in the hospital visiting my mom I'm walking down the hall going to the bathroom (thank you I.C.) and looking for someplace to lay down because I'm in so much pain. On my way back to my mothers room a cleaning lady sees me, at first I thought it was a nurse, and asked I need to go to the ER I see lady get all panicked and slowly realize it is not a nurse just the cleaning lady that is running to get a nurse. Found out later that cleaning lady at told nurse and my mom I had passed out, I'm not sure when people started passing out while standing and remained standing the whole time. . .doesn't a thud usually happen? Anyway.

I sit in the ER for a while hoping this will get me some relief either in finding out what is wrong or some pain kill no go. Just more blood work. At the end the ER doctors lightly says "you could just have a virus" this after tells me my blood work is normal white and red blood count and all that jazz. I thought white blood count when up for something like that whatever. I should be used to being treated like it is all in my head.

Follow up visit to family doctor I get a rude nurse oh joy! She has a hard time getting my blood pressure it happens sometimes they have to do it twice she tells me I should tell nurses to but the stethoscope here not here because they will not find the pressure here yadda yadda yadda. Because it is just so hard to move the stethoscope a little to the left, to find my heart beat how rude of me to not tell you how to do your job. I tell her I tend to have a low blood presser meaning on the low side of the charts not low as in bad. Then she goes to my chart and looks at it prattling about how I don't have a low pressure it is pretty normal the says what I had just mean while pointing out I've gain some weight the past few months. Okay your a nurse a rude nurse that also weights MORE then I do. I tell her I have been really fatigued and been able to do nothing but sleep lately and then said "this is more then just inactivity have you been just eating and eating" At that point I just refuse to talk anymore, if she cared that was one thing if she had gone about the whole thing differently I would have been willing to talk about it but her holier then thou while weighting clearly more then I do was just to much. The cow leaves I wait alone, uncomfortably.

Why do they put sick people in such uncomfortable rooms?

Enter doctors I go though the list of things I've noticed the light sensitivity, touch sensitive, then I stop noticing no one is listing they tell me how everything came back normal on there magical tests. I keep making an effort to talk and tell them what is going on they keep not listening at least dr. guy isn't it seems like in training guy is. They leave the room to go talk . . .come back and tell me to go to the hospital for an neck x-ray and cat scan on my brain to see if anything is going on there.

I'm not sure I am goign to do that and wait till after to look for a new doctor or just forget that and start looking for a doctor that knows what I.C is and listens to me.

/end ramble

At this moment in time I feel:: aggravated

Becoming pt 2:
Joyce: Oh yes I... (tries to stop her, gets shoved) You walk out of this house, don't even *think* about coming back!

Dead Man's Party:

Isn't it wonderful how all her so called friends gang up on her in the ep?

Her mother never takes responsibility for kicking her out of the house her friends ignore her completely so she starts to pack to leave again then they all tag team attacking her.

I'm still in disbelief that I've never seen anyone else talk about how bad a mother Joyce is.

Anya (desperate) But I don't understand!

Willow and Xander look at her in surprise.

Anya: (crying) I don't understand how this all happens. How we go through this. I mean, I knew her, and then she's, (sniffling) there's just a body, and I don't understand why she just can't get back in it and not be dead anymore. It's stupid. It's mortal and stupid. (still teary) And, and Xander's crying and not talking, and, and I was having fruit punch, and I thought, well, Joyce will never have any more fruit punch ever, and she'll never have eggs, or yawn or brush her hair, not ever, and no one will explain to me why.

Willow: (to Anya) We don't know ... how it works... or why.

my rl

I have a new lj, if you would like it leave a comment and I'll give it to you.

You all have a special place in my heart, truly.

My sister is 5 weeks pregnant *smile*

She told my mom, but isn't ready to talk about it, because she has had a hard time 'staying' pregnant.

How much pain has been caused by being able to use a home testing kit, so early these days?

You have these woman that think of themselves as soon to be moms that are so happy, then they will have a period, and lose the baby.

Every time I see a comerical advertising out early you can test now, I cringe for all the woman that will love the unborn child instead of making an appointment to kill it.

Finally partial birth abortion is illegal, and according to the pro-murder side, this is taking away a woman constitutional rights. . .

I must have missed the right to kill an unborn baby the last time I read the constitution.

American woman have now 'lost' the right to kill a baby by sticking an icepick in it's head and swirling it around.

ABOUT TIME!

Isn't doing the same thing to adults looked down on? Except it is called a lobotomy and adults can protest unlike the baby the mother is supposed to LOVE and PROTECT, not murder.

Great, now people are suggesting mental health records should be public. So they can be checked when someone buys a gun.

Peoples lives would be ruined by such a change in the law. The insane bias against anytime of mental illness and the willful ignorance about such things would cause many people pain and lose.

The outrageous act at Virgina tech had lots of warning signs about what could happen something should have been done in a proactive way before he brought the guns.

The willful ignorance about mental illness means many people, even if they won't admit it think a majority of people with mental illness have the problem because they are 'weak' if they just tried harder they would be okay.

There where no resources or ways to get the yellow livered coward long term treatment.

Also, some Democrats are trying to use this as a platform for 'gun control laws' or more honestly large bans on a persons right to own firearms.

I was glad when we sold the firearms that my father had to register with the ATF. I have no trust for the ATF. Just do some reason and you'll find out why.

Someone help out a bad fan, James is in a movie that will be in theaters?!?

There is a new Dresden audio book out? Did James' read it?


Inform me please, and photo's are always of the good.

Rosie O'Donnell: stfu already.

You made me a fan of Donald Trump. More people need to stand up to her she is a bully that gets away with it because she can clam people do like her because she is gay and fat. No, I don't like you because you are a fucking idiot.

I can't beleive people suport someone like her, our boys (British military falls under that to me, +girl) didn't deserve to be captured and the fact people still cheer her after finding out how they where treated scares me.

I was watching the press conference the troops gave after they where released, I wanted to hurt the reporters that asked "why didn't you fight more" suggesting they let themselves get captured.
I wanted to smack them. You try doing there job, they tried to defuse the situation, you cannot do that by fighting.

Ugh.

I'm not even going to get started on the idiot speaker of the house that thinks she is the president.

There isn't a 2007 Spike Calender?!?!

That just isn't right!

*kicks and screams*

Being the death to all that spoil the outcome of something I have read/watched yet girl I am, you'll probably be surprised that I ended up watching the last 2 eps of Dr. Who before seeing the ones that came first.

I thought I'd watch one ep to see if I was interested in getting the others, it was like the 3rd to the last. Well I got so into it, that I couldn't just turn it off.

I like this Doctor to bad the one that he um reborn himself? into looks like a twerp.

I really like Rose. I want to steal the top she wear in "Rose" and "The End of the World"

I just have disc 1 right now via netfix.

I'm going to be naughty and rip the eps of this disc, before I send it back, I'll use DVD-RW since I know I'll want to get the 'legal' sets just because they look better and will be easier to find once I get my room done.

That's right I'm still in boxes. I was in a long period of denile, but I'm starting to get things unpacked, right now it is just getting the stuff out of a box so deboxed and stacked up, but I have so much LESS room then I had before, like half if that.

I need to figure out how to store things in the cubby(sp?) holes that they have in old attic rooms, like the one that I'm in, without getting musky and getting aroudn the temp issues since the insulation up here is not.

I really don't think this room ask any, so needless to say when summer hits, I'll have to get a window unit.

What? A person can have money issues and still do Netflix without being a total idiot right?

Right?

( Edit: )

Tags: dr. who
Current Location: bedroom
At this moment in time I feel:: distressed

I'll keep this one but might just use is for fandom stuff.

I wonder how much of a pain in the ass it will be to try and archive this journal on a CD?

I could use posts out of this journal to have case history to my new psychiatrist.

Making a new one at LJ would be annoying having to switch accounts.

I don't know, I just feel like this doesn't 'fit' me anymore.

What do you all think?

under a cut for intense emotion, about "life" without my father.


( Read more... )

I hear:: Silent Lucidity - Queensryche

Somethings you want to say so bad, but the consonances aren't worth it.

List:

1) You wouldn't do that if dad where still alive.
posible response: We wouldn't be in this sitration if he was.
me: that truely isn't the point lack of respect is.

2) Thank you for just insulting everything my father ever stood for, let me guess you'll claim you 'respect' him?

The first one I've want(ed) to say to my sister, Rebecca, so bad.

The second one I want to say to my brother in law, Stephen.

Stephen has this bent that conservatives cannot be logical thinkers, he gave me this 'quiz' and expected me to be complamented when result was I was a logical conservative.

thanks

The first one I truly cannot say to her.

I may be pushed to say something like that to my brother-in-law.

My sisters defense of her hubby, "he just wants to debate." Debating is okay, what he does is go on a tirade.

*takes a deep breath*