| | Current Music: | Big Bad Voodoo Daddy - Minnie the Moocher | | Subject: | am i still here? | | Time: | 12:58 am |
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| i can feel my spirit bending in a perfect arc into the sky
all the time i've been spending asking myself why
its over, i'm done pretending, i could go for a good cry
i'm through with blending in, i can only see that ending in going blind | comments: Leave a comment   |
| | Subject: | theme song (hold this close) | | Time: | 12:54 am |
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| woke up to daylight,
like meeting an old friend
we reminisced of childhood spent together
i said nowadays,
the moon has got my back
but my vagrant midnight walks can't last forever
i had forgotten all about,
that i could see where i was going
that i can pick and choose my battles on my own
now i got home,
round 3 or 4 to think some more
and even tho i know i'm none the wiser, i know i've grown
yeah these sidewalks
always knew the soles of our shoes
and can you hear them talk
when the wind blows dusty midwest blues
theres something rhyming in the distance
and i can find it if i just listen
close
just hold me close
and the docks, man
they got a thing or two to add
always held me up from sinking like a stone
and i remember floating
from my street down to the shore
and hitching rides back on boats we'd never known
well the rich kids
all would laugh but not
that good kinda laughter me and my friends share
cuz when the
regrets fade and memories form
i realize that all along i care, i care
yeah these side streets
recall the shape of our bare feet
and you can hear them speak
at the corner where we would meet
theres something rhyming in the distance
and i can find it if i just listen
close
just hold this close
handshakes pressed to chests
if time's the problem, we pass the test
nothing like old friends to make you feel alive
and shed some light
on the past and why it's gone so fast
and why we never seem to say goodbye
you can always tell
when something's right it hurts like hell
and confusion is just perfect for these neverending nights
and our theme song
would have to mention something bout
the way things always turn out right
yeah these dead ends
show the signs of best friends
and you can hear them when
grafiitti finds its' place again
theres something rhyming in the distance
and i can find it if i just listen
cuz nothing's missin,
it's all just hidden, but sooooo
close
just hold this close | | comments: 1 comment or Leave a comment |
| | Subject: | you know you wanna try me. | | Time: | 02:41 pm |
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| can twilight dreams ever last
i lounge riverside and watch them float
oh i know these waters, they're
in my veins, and the rapids ahead
inside my heart are a sure challenge
before the might of the waterfalls
crashing yet giving rest from earth
inside my mind, but still once aloft
they never come back down,
forever high in the stillness
of my soul
so yes, but can we catch them,
or would it be more of a becoming,
or could we both survive,
or will i ever know
if they live
maybe they owe me one. | | comments: 1 comment or Leave a comment |
| | Subject: | Television | | Time: | 09:58 pm | | Current Mood: | ![[mood icon]](http://p-stat.livejournal.com/img/mood/classic/smile.gif) amused |
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| i don't like t.v. here's Roald Dahl to explain it for you.
Television
The most important thing we've learned,
So far as children are concerned,
Is never, NEVER, NEVER let
Them near your television set --
Or better still, just don't install
The idiotic thing at all.
In almost every house we've been,
We've watched them gaping at the screen.
They loll and slop and lounge about,
And stare until their eyes pop out.
(Last week in someone's place we saw
A dozen eyeballs on the floor.)
They sit and stare and stare and sit
Until they're hypnotised by it,
Until they're absolutely drunk
With all that shocking ghastly junk.
Oh yes, we know it keeps them still,
They don't climb out the window sill,
They never fight or kick or punch,
They leave you free to cook the lunch
And wash the dishes in the sink --
But did you ever stop to think,
To wonder just exactly what
This does to your beloved tot?
IT ROTS THE SENSE IN THE HEAD!
IT KILLS IMAGINATION DEAD!
IT CLOGS AND CLUTTERS UP THE MIND!
IT MAKES A CHILD SO DULL AND BLIND
HE CAN NO LONGER UNDERSTAND
A FANTASY, A FAIRYLAND!
HIS BRAIN BECOMES AS SOFT AS CHEESE!
HIS POWERS OF THINKING RUST AND FREEZE!
HE CANNOT THINK -- HE ONLY SEES!
'All right!' you'll cry. 'All right!' you'll say,
'But if we take the set away,
What shall we do to entertain
Our darling children? Please explain!'
We'll answer this by asking you,
'What used the darling ones to do?
'How used they keep themselves contented
Before this monster was invented?'
Have you forgotten? Don't you know?
We'll say it very loud and slow:
THEY ... USED ... TO ... READ! They'd READ and READ,
AND READ and READ, and then proceed
To READ some more. Great Scott! Gadzooks!
One half their lives was reading books!
The nursery shelves held books galore!
Books cluttered up the nursery floor!
And in the bedroom, by the bed,
More books were waiting to be read!
Such wondrous, fine, fantastic tales
Of dragons, gypsies, queens, and whales
And treasure isles, and distant shores
Where smugglers rowed with muffled oars,
And pirates wearing purple pants,
And sailing ships and elephants,
And cannibals crouching 'round the pot,
Stirring away at something hot.
(It smells so good, what can it be?
Good gracious, it's Penelope.)
The younger ones had Beatrix Potter
With Mr. Tod, the dirty rotter,
And Squirrel Nutkin, Pigling Bland,
And Mrs. Tiggy-Winkle and-
Just How The Camel Got His Hump,
And How the Monkey Lost His Rump,
And Mr. Toad, and bless my soul,
There's Mr. Rate and Mr. Mole-
Oh, books, what books they used to know,
Those children living long ago!
So please, oh please, we beg, we pray,
Go throw your TV set away,
And in its place you can install
A lovely bookshelf on the wall.
Then fill the shelves with lots of books,
Ignoring all the dirty looks,
The screams and yells, the bites and kicks,
And children hitting you with sticks-
Fear not, because we promise you
That, in about a week or two
Of having nothing else to do,
They'll now begin to feel the need
Of having something to read.
And once they start -- oh boy, oh boy!
You watch the slowly growing joy
That fills their hearts. They'll grow so keen
They'll wonder what they'd ever seen
In that ridiculous machine,
That nauseating, foul, unclean,
Repulsive television screen!
And later, each and every kid
Will love you more for what you did.
Roald Dahl | | comments: Leave a comment |
| | Subject: | LISTEN UP NOW!!! | | Time: | 03:50 pm | | Current Mood: | accomplished |
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| CHECK IT OUT!!!
Original music by myself and Nick Bacon!
http://www.purevolume.com/aloneinthedeepend
for now, its only guitar i layered myself. hopefully sometime soon we'll get the full band on there too, which includes Jack Fink on drums, and our new bassist Cory.
let us know what you think!
ps - this isnt the bands name really, its just my little section of purevolume. we dont have names for anything yet, but theres tons more songs in the works right now.
laterrrr | | comments: 2 comments or Leave a comment |
| | Current Music: | thrice - "eleanor rigby (beatles cover)" | | Subject: | a poem | | Time: | 01:09 am | | Current Mood: | beat |
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| This poem is about the nicest woman i know. When she was younger, she lost her first child at birth. This poem is about losing someone before you had the chance to meet them. However, you always have the chance to love them. It's not something i claim to know about, but it touches me. This is an early version that needs a lot of work too, because it's a very sensitive subject.
Give & Take
reaching out for someone
someone who's no longer there
when you held them in your arms (for the first and last time)
they slipped into a sleep
as you slip into the dream?
the next time you awake
you wait to feel their breath on your neck (comfort)
but a cold wind blows instead (callous)
god have mercy on the dead
some souls don't have the chance
to live their time on this earth
but that's only because
they're born angels and don't need to stay
they've already passed the test
it's all for the best
cover up these wounds
with a faith of pure gold
remember the fallen
and the message you've been told.
the gift given freely,
but taken at such a price
we can only hold on
to have we still have.
I admire you for not giving up
at the first sign of hardship
it amazes me that you only grew stronger
after such a crushing blow
it's not something I ever want to know | | comments: Leave a comment |
| | Current Music: | thrice - "hoods on peregrine" | | Subject: | My Vacation | | Time: | 07:22 pm | | Current Mood: | super lazy |
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| I went to Chicago for a week. I came back and haven't really done anything except procrastinate my schoolwork. I'll type out everything that's happened and post it later. But for now heres a poem i wrote in response to someone talking shit about things he doesn't understand yet. i don't blame him, but heres my thoughts back to you.
if you only knew
the depths one can plummet to
while sitting in your room.
if you could only see
just what it is to be
on the verge of agony.
when you finally have it for yourself
feel its warmth in your heart
I ask you to throw it all away
to feel what I have felt today.
speaking privileges are reserved
only for those who have given themselves up.
so keep quiet until you learn about
what is called a falling out.
don’t pretend you’ve fallen when you’ve never climbed that hill at all.
you’ll find out there’s nothing left to do but fall.
if you only knew.
but only time can tell.
so wait until it speaks to you
then you may speak of love. | | comments: Leave a comment |
| | Current Music: | antiflag - "911 for peace" | | Subject: | What A Freakin Night | | Time: | 01:16 am | | Current Mood: | i dont know, i just cant sleep |
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| WELL, steve and i went to the party. Of course, there was drinking. Liter of rum, 12pack of Smirnof, and (dont ask) a tupperware full of vodka - not really all that much from what i expected. But kids were playing quarters and stuff, and i didnt know many people there. Me steve and Saxbury decided not to drink at all - a god decision. There was only about 13-15 kids there. I think some kids got high in a car, im not sure. Anyway i did plan on staying longl, and of course the police show up nice and early. I think a few guys got away. Ill find out later. But we all had to call our parents which sucks, because everyone fears their parents more than the cops. Especially my dad. But when i got a ride home from Mrs. Bobak, my mom stayed up with me, and we had a real cool talk. We never do anything like that, so im happy. Overall, this was a good experience. Now i know this for sure: i dont ever want to drink. Or smoke. And i also realied this. Ive been to 2 parties in my life, and both got busted. It seems i'm bad luck. So i dont want to do anything like it in the future. Well waking up early driving for 8 hours with my dad to CHicago - oh boy! i cant wait for that. blahhh.
well adios kiddies, dont do drugs. | | comments: 1 comment or Leave a comment |
| | Current Music: | yellowecard - "back home" | | Subject: | Its so nice out | | Time: | 04:47 pm |
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| | Its so warm, why cant it always be this way? Anyway, the other night i stayed over steves and we watched Indiana Jones. Then today, we;re going to this party we got invited to. Should be fun, I konw Caroline, Davis, and Saxbury will be there. I probably don't know anyone else, but i'll meet them. See, i don't get to many parties at all, so this is big for me. OH and hopefully there's some really hot girl i can ask to prom, since i need a date soon if i'm gonna go. Yeah, me and steve plan on bringing an acoustic and performing a few songs, probably Unwritten Law, American HI-Fi, and maybe Oasis. That'd be awesome, since i don't usually hang out in larger groups of people. I need mroe exposure to these kind of normal things. I finally wrote some poetry and posted it into my profile. I think im gonna start posting them here. im tired of having them sit on my harddisk unseen and unknown. I gotta get out there. Speaking of getting out, im leaving for Chicago tomorrow, Joel is coming which simply makes this trip undoubtedly awesome. I cant wait. At the same time tho, id like to stay home and chill w/steve and other ppl, write music and poetry, read, see Coheed and Cambria and SugarCult, but oh well. Its a tradeoff. WELL ttyl peace | | comments: Leave a comment |
| | Current Music: | senses fail - "handguns and second chances" | | Subject: | late night discoveries | | Time: | 01:51 am | | Current Mood: | super fly |
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| | For some reason, I never realized i could send people files over AIM. I just succesfully sent NGB some of my guitar riffs in mp3 format, so im happy it worked. Its gonna make it really easy to share ideas this way, since i dont see him much. woot im in a good mood, now im gonna go to bed happy and have a good day tomorrer. That's right, tomorrer. peace | | comments: 1 comment or Leave a comment |
| | Current Music: | lost prophets - "kobrakai" | | Subject: | The First Whole Day of Vacation | | Time: | 01:18 am | | Current Mood: | ecstatic |
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| Yesterday (Friday) i came home from school and went to sleep. I loved it because i don't care about school at all! Then i woke up and ate food and went to volleyball at Trinity. I successfully served it my first 9 tries! woot!
Then today i wope up and went to work 7-2. Although i planned on quitting after my shift was over, i didn't. I'm not sure why. But i have to soon. I worked with Amanda and yeah she's real cool. and hot.
Then when i came home i did nothing until 5 when i went to Jack Fink's house to get a ride to his show. His mom was late, but her family was driving her nuts. Kinda like my mom who is going nuts from dropping a class at school. The oppressed mothers of America. We went to Billie Bob's Billiard Hall someplace in Alden, about a million miles away. It was fun, me Justine NGB and Jack hung out a lot. What can i remember. Well the drummer from the first band was checking me out the whole time. I received notice from Justine that I am "officially" fucked. There was a lot of omens concerning Justine's "Aaron". Nick Bacon actually said something horny for the first time ever. And our rave party in the back of that dude's car was fun: trance nation, baby. A pretty crazy time overall. Good for just the first day of vacation. Oh and music rocks. | | comments: Leave a comment |
| | Current Music: | Our Lady Peace - Innocent | | Subject: | SOOOOOO | | Time: | 12:04 am | | Current Mood: | ![[mood icon]](http://p-stat.livejournal.com/img/mood/classic/sad.gif) worried |
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| I don't update every day, even though every day i have more thoughts to write out that i can possibly get down. Well here goes a little catch-up.
I cannot put up with much more school. It's getting to me. I just don't care about anything anymore and i kinda wish i did. Having decent grades in calc and bio would make my parents happy, and in return make me happier. But i just cant do it. Im worried about my grade. I never worry! something's def wrong here.
I'm losing some people: not in a friendship way, but my guidance is not helping them with their problems enough. I want to see you happy but you're just being too stubborn. Don't look down on yourself: have some confidence! Not i'm macho-man confidence, just a self-assurance that you can be ok if you try. Ahhhhhhhhh just listen listen listen!
I'm quitting Mcd's on Saturday. My last shift there ever should be nice. knowing it'll come to an end.
Easter vacation is coming in only two days! i'm excited, even if it doesn't show. I need this more than ever. Just to clear my mind once again, prepare for the final push, read some important documents, write some music, catch up on sleep, catch up on lost relationships, catch up on lost dreams......
Now i must stop writing bc i can't think of anything else. later. | | comments: Leave a comment |
| all i have to say is that tomorrow is the THURSDAY concert and i cannot wait.
other than that, blarg! later days you foolish fools | | comments: Leave a comment |
| | Subject: | How could i have forgotten? | | Time: | 01:10 am |
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| | On last Saturday i went to the Showplace to see Jack Fink[?] play in his metal-hardcore band. Th place was weird but cool. The people were interesting. Hung out with Justine and Bacon and Jack a lot. Then i drove Justine home and i think i scared her because i just got a little lost. Anyway it was a great night. later | | comments: Leave a comment |
| | Current Music: | this day and age - "all that can change" | | Subject: | Tonight.. | | Time: | 12:49 am | | Current Mood: | something else |
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| was fun. It was the YoungLife Banquet. I pretty much chilled with tons of people i either A) don't chill with enough or B)never chilled with before. Me, kogut, bacon, steve, michelle, justine, ryan,pierre, paul etc all hung out. I dunno it was just nice to see everybody together again. I brought our skateboards and that was cool. Tiffany really likes Steve alot. Its super warm, almost 60 and its night time. I went to the Beach and contemplated on the docks. Relaxation was nice. Oh yeah and i skipped work to do all this. Finally, on Sunday we're meeting at Bacon's for some actual musical collaboration. I need a girl. Thursday show in only 2 days. I'm all over the place. Can't seem to get my head on straight. Need someone to fix me up and tie me down. So i don't lose my mind. Oh wait too late. Yesterday i went to TN club. The day before, Steve Bob and I met for the first time in who knows how long. Too too long. :28 schooldays and counting. I also really need to talk to some people who i havent talked to in a while. I'd say right now things are looking up.
I sit here writing, not daring to stop,
For fear of seeing what's outside my head.
-Bob Kaufman
A spoonful of sugar
Helps the poison go down.
-Me | | comments: Leave a comment |
| | Current Music: | jackdaw - "molly" | | Subject: | How am I still standing? | | Time: | 12:14 am | | Current Mood: | drained |
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| I have just experiences the hardest 24 hours of my life. I am totally exhausted. But somehow it all worked out and im happy.
Last night i did all my research for my 5-page theology paper and wrote the whole thing. It was extremely hard (i didnt even have the book). It took me until 2 am. Then I woke up around 5 am for Campaigners' I had to get up for it becuase i was the music dude. It was pretty fun to play alone for te first time. Ill get better though. Then i drove to school and realized i didnt have time to finish 3 late Bio essays, economics homework, study for a test in Latin and a freakin impossible test in AP Calc. I made it through the day, on only 3 hours of sleep. This is something i have never done before. Then when i came home, i drove to Joel's and we went to an awesome little show. Jackdaw played a tiny lounge under the Gallagher Center at NU. It was great, free food and drink. The atmosphere was nice and laid back, they even had couches and stuff. Jackdaw was awesome, i'm glad they were more about the rock/punk/irsish drinking thing than traditional music. They rocked. And i got heir cd and a sticker. Then i drove home at midnight, and miraculously i didnt pass out and drive into the gorge or something terrible like that. Here i am, super amazingly tired now, getting these events out of my system. I amaze myself for being alive at this point. I cant move, i cant keep my eyes open, i cant hear anything. Im done for. Spent.
Oh, and i work at 8 in the morning. HA! oh well. i can handle anything. i already proved that to myself. | | comments: Leave a comment |
| | Current Music: | thursday - "cross out the eyes" | | Subject: | The week has ended | | Time: | 10:18 pm | | Current Mood: | good |
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| Thursday, i went to give Michelle her guitar lessons, but found out she ran away to Jodi's. It really surprised me how her dad handled it. I envy them in some ways.
Friday, i had off. Campaigners in the morning, sleep until 12. Then at night i went to see the Tonawanda musical "Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat". It was really well done. Jolyne had the narrator spot and she has a great voice. Kogut and Bacon were two of the 12 brothers. I saw them all afterwards. And i ran into Kerri and Nick DiMatteo. We went to the billiard's hall with jolyne, greg, and janel. Pretty fun. And the best part is that nick offered me LINKIN PARK tickets - and not just any, the BEST - IN THE PIT!!! i cant wait for summer to come. Then i came back to the island around 11:30 and decided to go to steve's. we hung out until 3 am. It was pretty nuts. Some punk covers were gettin screamed, some jokes were getting cracked, some eggos were being toasted. And my parents never even questioned any of it.
Strangely, the next night i was out until only 1:30, and i got in trouble. But thats because steve and i were skateboarding and causing trouble at Huth. If only it was not so cold.
On Sunday i missed church. Felt bad. Then i went to the basketball gamewith Joel and his dad. Niagara Falls High School vs. Arcadia. The Wolverines kicked ass by 18. Paul Napolean played trumpet in the band. It was cool. On the way home, we drove along Chippewa Street - on the say of the St. Patrick's Parade. There was drunken madness everywhere. Cops were swarming the city, on every block. At a red light, we saw a drunk fight a bum in an alley. then cops pulled up and tackled the bum! it was high-quality. That's my weekend so far. Looking ahead, | | comments: Leave a comment |
| | Current Music: | radiohead - "high and dry" | | Subject: | OH dear lord i love music | | Time: | 11:34 pm | | Current Mood: | ![[mood icon]](http://p-stat.livejournal.com/img/mood/classic/tired.gif) tired |
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| ok, i wanna talk about music but heres a quick recap of weekend events: Friday, skipped ski club and was bored. Saturday, saw the Passion and went to SABAH. Sunday, met w/steveo and BOB, then was bored. Monday, Xian Service again, and AMAZING UB Playoff game at night! Stormed the court on ESPN2!!! Then today club (w/ suit).
Now to the best part: i spent my free period looking up concerts. I cant wait to see them. We've got Thursday, Allister, Bouncing Souls, Thrice, and Dashboard coming right to our town!!! and Yellowcard, Something Corporate, and Autopilot Off and Rufio and Senses Fail coming to a nearby city! oh boy it will be a great springtime fest of concerts. peace out later days | | comments: Leave a comment |
| | Current Music: | catch22 - "keasbey nights" | | Subject: | OHHHHH what a day what a day | | Time: | 10:51 pm | | Current Mood: | tired |
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| Today's tests were impossible..even if i studied for them. But i dont even want to think about that. Hmmm lets see.....weird ski club tomorrow, last one ever and steve and pj and cory wont be there. Im all alone. ill find someone though. Tomorrow i get to play Campaigners with Bob for the first time. Hmmm and I'm lovnig ska right now. AH good uplifting ska. Well i need sleep bad.
>>>later days<<< | | comments: Leave a comment |
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