It takes all kinds.
There are millions of different kinds of people in this world.
There are two groups of people that you will interact with.
People who make you glad to be in the moment, and people who make you feel like shit.
Both of them can be mistaken for the other. You can fool yourself to believe that someone who is actually taking advantage of you genuinely enjoys you and go through the list of how they really do appreciate you. People are incredibly materialistic.
You never know how much you really love someone until they are gone.
But when I think about it, the people I truly love and care for, I didn't lose them.
I keep getting shifted through different situations, different homes, different families, different schools.
I've met hundreds of different people. I've traveled more than people my age. I'm living in Europe now.
I am very much alive.
I've seen horrible things and I've met people who have made my blood run cold. I've been scared for my life. I've cried until I vomited until my throat bled and laid in bed for days. I've been ashamed of the things I've done. I've hated myself for the people I was with and the foolish person I became.
I have learned from all of these things. If I had not, I would be dead by my own foolish hand.
Because now, every day I have suffered to pull through, I am a better person inside and out, better than the people who have done harm to me.
I have always been more than aware that the people who go out of their way to make you feel like shit... you usually just have to take a good look at them and that speaks for itself.
There are a millions things yet that are unknown to anyone. I do my best not to acknowledge them myself. Why bother?
If I let the past make me suffer, how can I truly indulge myself today?
The sunshine was beautiful in Ohio. I waited all through winter with the cold and the snow for Spring. It looked like it was finally there a few days before I left. My boyfriend and I went down to the playground to swing and laugh. It was my last day of school. The first bell had rang awhile before but since I was leaving, we decided not to go inside and to play on the swings instead.
The sunshine was perfect. The weather stayed until I left for Columbus.
My two best friends and my boyfriend went to Undo's to have a going away party.
The food was horrible. We stole the forks and drew purple forks on the placemat to be inconspicuous. It was still alot of fun.
We ate cake that my english teacher had bought for me.
Eventually I went back to Brandon's house and I spent the night. We watched movies with his mom and fell asleep about 2am. The alarm went off at 6am but we didn't succesfully get out of bed until 10am. We cried, we held one another, we sang together in bed. Promising one another that this certainly wasn't goodbye. My best friend.
It was sad, but when I had to leave, even through the tears, I know it wasn't goodbye.
My mother promised Brandon that he could come and stay soon after he graduates.
I can't wait.
This summer, I will be visiting Italy and Rome. Hopefully, Brandon will be coming soon after, who knows where we'll be going to then.

My life is starting all over again.
I think this time is really going to be it. I'm going to make it this time.

Crazy crazy
Crazy fool
Crazy fool

If she thinks that she's
gonna dispose my world
I'd be a crazy crazy crazy
Crazy fool
Crazy fool

My love for you was oh so strong
We went together for oh so long
If I don't complain about this misery
Is this the way loves supposed to be,
Supposed to be now
Foolish foolish
Oh you just a foolish girl

Ohh foolish foolish
Oh ya just a crazy girl

If she thinks that she's
gonna take you from me
Gotta be a crazy crazy crazy
crazy fool
Crazy fool

r.i.p. Brad