Big ol' romslut (

mia_d) wrote,
@ 2003-09-30 18:12:00

sex
True Life EVENT
in which Mia...Mia doesn't know what the fuck happened

It was a beautiful and sunny day, what with the sun shining and the beauty and all. I was busy lollygagging about at work, as the nice weather had caused the local townsfolks to actually go outside. So when a customer eventually comes in, it's a bit of a pleasant surprise.

I greeted him with the standard, chipper "Hi" and countinued with my cleaning and such. He was about forty years of age, and dressed fairly well. After rummaging a bit through our Playstation games, he founds one that suited him well and brought it to the front.

A typical transaction followed, and all seems well and right with the world.

Until I handed him his game on the other side of the counter.

He took a quick look at the game disc and noticed a slight smudge. He then licked the disc.

Licked it.

With his tounge.

He then licked it two more times, all with his eyes closed in a pseudo-sexual way.

And he wiped the disc on his man-nipple.

No, really.

He took the licked disc and rubbed in over his man-nipple on his shirt in a circular motion, all while attempting to make a SEXAY face.

Then he wiped it on his other nipple and left.

I still have no idea what exactly happened.

I really, really don't.

(Post a new comment)

	lovelylexi 2003-09-30 06:45 pm UTC (link)
	That's one of the scariest things I've read about in my LIFE. Did he seem to be doing this to entice you, or just out of the sheer uncontrollable lust that a smudged playstation game inspires in most well-adjusted humans? (Reply to this)(Thread)

	mia_d 2003-09-30 06:46 pm UTC (link)
	I don't know. I really, really don't know. (Reply to this)(Parent)

	foxhack 2003-09-30 06:46 pm UTC (link)
	... At least he didn't attempt to engage in real sexual contact with it. ... in front of you. Hee. (Reply to this)

	banal_o_rama 2003-09-30 06:59 pm UTC (link)
	Maybe he was a Clunkie? Though I thought they would've stuck to fucking the Playstation, not the game... (Reply to this)(Thread)

	anne_jumps 2003-09-30 07:13 pm UTC (link)
	I'll bite. What's a Clunkie? Can't be worse than Furries. (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	banal_o_rama 2003-09-30 07:18 pm UTC (link)
	Like a furry, but for machines or sexy robots. I'm pretty sure they're a joke, but I wouldn't put anything past anybody these days. (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	foxhack 2003-09-30 07:22 pm UTC (link)
	I resent the furry comment. And hide your portable miniature motorized vaginas! OMG! (Reply to this)(Parent)

lots42
2003-09-30 11:20 pm UTC (link)

I used to think Breatherarians were just something Warren Ellis made up for his comic 'Transmetropolitan'. Then I discovered that there really are pyschos who think they can live on air. (And their cult leaders are usually caught sneaking out of a Burger King).

And early issues of Transmet featured a character who had an arrest record for spanking it over supermarket self-stacking machines. Granted, we don't have those yet but my psychotic ramblings conjure spooky thoughts.

P.S. Don't diss the furries.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	banal_o_rama 2003-10-01 09:20 am UTC (link)
	Don't diss the furries. I didn't think I did. :\ (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	lots42 2003-10-01 11:42 am UTC (link)
	Don't diss the furries. I didn't think I did. :\ --- Hurray, then! Wheee! (Reply to this)(Parent)

	anne_jumps 2003-09-30 07:00 pm UTC (link)
	Well, at least he didn't talk to you during it? (Reply to this)(Thread)

	mia_d 2003-09-30 07:01 pm UTC (link)
	He did. He said "Oh, this game is dirty" That's all. (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	anne_jumps 2003-09-30 07:10 pm UTC (link)
	Oh. (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	soiledgreen 2003-09-30 10:40 pm UTC (link)
	"What a dirty, dirty baaaaaaad game... mmmmmmmm...." (Reply to this)(Parent)

	toddler_hiway 2003-09-30 07:54 pm UTC (link)
	... I want to marry him. If he comes into the store again, before you call security tell him that a guy in Seattle totally wants to marry him and someday perhaps have his children and that though most people think that that sort of thing is impossible for anatomical reasons, our love will find a way. (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	mia_d 2003-09-30 07:55 pm UTC (link)
	BY THE BY: I just finished talking with my manager from that day, and we both agree that he was attempting to SEX US UP HARDCORE instead of wanting to sex up the disc (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	(Anonymous) 2003-10-05 04:33 pm UTC (link)
	Well, is your manager hot? ["Dear Penthouse Forum: I walked into a video store, and there was this totally hot girl behind the desk. To let her know I was interested, I started licking a Playstation disk."] -- zwit, never believed this sort of thing happened, but now...! (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	mia_d 2003-10-06 11:39 am UTC (link)
	Actually, not really. ALSO: HAPPY YOU ARE NOT DEAD! (Reply to this)(Parent)

	fourcorners 2003-09-30 09:06 pm UTC (link)
	I guess anything with a whole in the middle is fair game to him I'd be really disturbed if he wants to return it. God only knows what unnatural secretions might have dripped over the case (Reply to this)(Thread)

	lots42 2003-09-30 11:18 pm UTC (link)
	I've stumbled to the bathroom many a time to wash. A lot. Because blockbuster customers liked to return the sort core porn tapes with all sorts of icky stuff on it. Dirt, crunchy bits, god only knows what else. Some of the tape cases looked like they've been through two tours in Vietnam (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

mia_d
2003-09-30 11:47 pm UTC (link)

Not sure if I mentioned it before, but the grossest thing I ever had to deal with besides SEXING YOU UP man was returning a porn tape and finding a pubic hair attatched to it.

Nay, STUCK to it with some sort of ...yes. Manglue, I pressume.

I was naturally disturbed by this and set it aside to go wash my hands. Then, when accidently brushing my hand against it, said pubic hair with manglue got on my hand.

BEST DAY EVER.

(Reply to this)(Parent)

awarmgun
2003-10-01 05:12 am UTC (link)

o_O

(Reply to this)

	domorrigan 2003-10-01 05:03 pm UTC (link)
	That might be the best story I've ever heard. Pro-scurvy. YAEY. I've been told by doctors I have scurvy many times. I don't eat fruit, vegetables, and very little dairy. REALLY. Let me post in pro_scurvy. I have a PRO-SCURVY RAP I MUST POST. A rap... for scurvy. (Reply to this)(Thread)

	mia_d 2003-10-02 01:16 am UTC (link)
	Wow. Ok, you can post. I MUST HAVE PRO-SCURVY RAP (Reply to this)(Parent)

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