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Wednesday, September 7th, 2005
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10:28 pm - Gum Disease
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I wrote a song for the staff party. I hope we get the chance to play our songs, since I'm sure at some point they'll just cut the feed and kick us out. We're kinda hoping for that actually. The song I wrote is called "Gum Disease."
There's my baby, and she's walkin' down the street
Takes a step, then looks down at her feet
A short time later and she will soon repeat
Can't quite figure out why she lost the beat
OH, her IQ's low and it's starting to show
She just can't do it, she sure is slow
My poor baby she's just so dumb
She just can't walk while she's chewin' gum!
She's right by the phone but no one's home
I call her up and only get the tone
I like her good but in little bits
And I'm damn glad she's got nice tits
OH, her IQ's low and it's starting to show
She just can't do it, she sure is slow
My poor baby she's just so dumb
Can't work the receiver while she's chewin' gum!
She's got a disease, and it's spearmint
When I get worked up she can't take a hint
She's chewin' chewin' chewin' and there's just no end
Maybe I should just date her friend
OH, her IQ's low and it's starting to show
She just can't do it, she sure is slow
My poor baby she's just so dumb
Fuckin's right out while she's chewin' gum!
She's got a habit that she just can't kick
She just keeps popping stick after stick
But I don't mean to sound like an arrogant prick
And besides her breath's, fuckin', sick.
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| Tuesday, August 23rd, 2005
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9:13 pm - Sorry, dude.
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| Sunday, August 21st, 2005
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10:56 pm - The Band
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Mine and Uchimura's garage band is rockin' so bad. Or good. Well, not good, but we're gettin' somewhere. We were jammin' in my garage and a couple people even came over to watch us. It might've been the promise of free sodas, but still, there were like, three people watching us!
It's really weird that Uchimura's cat, Fernando, is now one of our headliners. Somehow her voice meshes really well with the guitar riffs and stuff. It's crazy. She's also pretty good about playing on cue. Uchimura found this key that when played always makes her start to meow, so all he has to do is play that key and bam! We have a singing kitty. The downside to this is that he can't play that key if if he doesn't want her to meow.
....we need a band name. Something awesome like Metallica. Uchimura keeps wanting something involving profanity, but I don't think I want that, since I plan to make an awesome logo and have it on my school folder. Maybe we should put the band members names together. First letters anyway. We'll be M.U.F. Muff? Nah, screw Muff. U.M.F. Umph? Sounds like someone getting socked in the stomach. We'll keep that one on the backburner.
...maybe we should recruit more band members. Guitar and drums and backup vocals don't quite cut it. And Uchimura sings like crap.
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| Saturday, August 13th, 2005
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1:21 pm - I'm exhausted.
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Who the hell told everybody that I'm Fudoumine's secret weapon? I mean, I'm not saying I'm not, but why does everybody keep challenging me to tennis matches? Sometimes I'm not even near a court. Once I was in the grocery store and some punk with purple hair comes up and he's all "Hey, I heard you're Fudoumine's secret weapon. Wanna play a match against me?" To which I responded, "Nope." But then he started doing the whole "What a chicken. Fudoumine's a bunch of chickens. I don't even play for a tennis team and you're afraid of me."
So I played him at Singles. I suck at Singles, but this guy sucks at tennis. He kept whining about "I don't usually play Singles. I'm a doubles player! You just wait till I get my partner in here! We'd take you on!" So he gets his partner in there and they play me two vs one. By the end of it (after about four sets) they were like "Dang, I guess he really IS Fudoumine's secret weapon!"
Truth is, I wasn't even playing very seriously. In fact, I'm starting to wonder if that play style would work against people that don't suck. Normally I'm so dang uptight and try to think everything through an it screws me up, but this game I was playing completely random tennis. Like, they'd do a double front formation and I'd do a dropshot. It makes zero sense, but sometimes they even started to back up expecting a lob, then when I did the dropshot they were already moving backwards and couldn't change direction.
......it probably wouldn't work. Especially not against Seigaku's Golden Pair. I heard Kikumaru Eiji can practically teleport when it comes to changing direction quickly.... But I wonder if Uchimura and I are up to par with other doubles yet? Like Yamabuki's doubles. Maybe we've gotten good enough to actually beat the Jimies by now. Or at least those creepy guys with plants growing out of their skulls and creepy things on their cheeks... I can't even remember if both of them had plants and swirls. They were creepy so I blocked them from my memory.
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| Monday, July 11th, 2005
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12:22 am - A guy like me and a girl like you
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Sorry that I haven't been posting everybody. I've been a bit preoccupied. Other things going on in my life. Things that I don't feel like I should say over this journal thing. Mostly because Uchimura might read it. He's a big-mouth.
Not much to report though. My life has mostly been about music and this girl I met. That's right, I met someone! We've been going out? for a couple weeks now. I think. She doesn't like to call them dates. Come to think of it, we haven't even really gone out as it is. We usually just hang out at one of our houses. Mostly my house as of late.
I've been playing songs for her and serenading her with songs. Too bad my songs aren't all that mushy and stuff. I put wicked lyrics to heavy metal sounds. I've been playing a song on my electric guitar for her. It goes like this:
Baby Baby! You know it's true
A guy like me with a girl like you
Nobody thought it and nobody knew
That a guy like me'd get a girl like you -oh
YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH
< this is where it gets faster tempo
(chorus)
When we're together nothing else matters
Conviction falls to the floor and clatters
Because the room is filled with just us two
A guy like me and a girl like you
Baby baby, you know there's nothing I can do
You always keep me from feelin' blue
I always see you sitting over there
Lookin' so pretty with your pretty hair
Good god I really never knew
A guy like me with a girl like you!
(chorus)
When we're together nothing else matters
Conviction falls to the floor and clatters
Because the room is filled with just us two
A guy like me and a girl like you
A guy like me and a girl like you
A guy like me and a girl like you
A guy like me and a girl like you!
...It goes like that basically. I call it 'A guy like me and a girl like you (Baby baby).' The problem with all of this now though is that if I mention making a single out of this song, my girl gets all upset about me being a sellout who would give up HER song for money... don't that just beat all?
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| Monday, June 27th, 2005
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9:01 pm - Uchimura was my bitch.
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Damn, Shinji. You sure get us into a heck of a lot of trouble, ya know. I mean, sure. You freaked out, and Uchimura freaked out more. I mean, you freak out, a cop walks over to see what's going on, he says a remark about "those troublesome Fudoumine brats" and Uchimura freaks out screaming "Fudoumine Pride" and punches the cop in the dick. What he CLAIMS is that he slipped and his flailing hand flew out and just COLLIDED with the cop's dick, but either way, WE wind up in the slammer! I'm still trying to figure out what the hell I did! The cop said I was the "distraction" and therefore I wound up spending the night in jail too.
For those who haven't been arrested before, lemme just tell you that a jail for kids is not a fun place. There are some hardcore thugs that are half of Uchimura's height! There was a kid in there, couldn't've been older than 12 that was in there for putting a cigarette out in his mom's eye!
Anyway, I'm as free as Lynyard Skynyrd's bird. They're still working some complications in the paperwork out, but since I had good behavior I got out with just fifteen hours of community service. Uchimura though.... let's just say I've been ordered to take care of his cat. He'll be out in a week or so if he's lucky... I wonder if he's been stabbed yet?
Kyoko-senpai was certainly happy to see me out..... I think. She runs over and kissed me on the cheek saying something about "Mori-chan! You're okay!" and then she punches me really hard in the nose. I was so dizzy that I nearly passed out. I probably would've passed out if my nose weren't already so broken in by my dad and bro. They hit me a lot in the face when we spar.
Oh by the way, I'm not grounded for this. I was going to be grounded for going to jail, but my dad gave an offer. He said that if I beat him in sparring then I was allowed to keep all my video games, but if I lose, I lose them all for a month.
.....Nobody comes between me and my video games.
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| Sunday, June 19th, 2005
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6:20 pm - I must be bored
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Hey, umm, Uchimura? You know, we have Caller ID. Would you please stop crank-calling my house? We have like, ten messages on our machine of nothing but hanging up. But I forgive you. I know you just wanted to call up and listen to my sexy voice. Fag. Just call me on my cell if you have something to say. You know I've always got that right next to me.
In other news, why has nobody given me a medal or something? Not even a sexy chick giving me a kiss on the cheek. I've ONLY been killing zombie after zombie in this new video game I've been playing. Geez. I fight off zombies and for what? Nothing!
There should be a video game about a bunch of hot girls in school uniforms battling zombies. Hot and awesome. Think of the possibilities! Oh well. Until then, I'll just have to switch between Biohazzard games and Dead or Alive: Ultimate.
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| Sunday, June 12th, 2005
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3:06 pm - Myst
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So that was kind of strange. I'm about ready to head out of my house to grab some bread from that bakery, when I open the door and see Uchimura's sister, Kyoko-senpai, standing there with her hand ready to knock on the door. So smiles at me and doesn't say anything. Finally I'm all, "Oh. Hey Kyoko-senpai. So I hear you're graduating. Or have graduated. I can't remember when graduation is... Or was. Anyway, congrats!" So she socks me in the chest and says thanks. Finally she hands me a computer game I'd loaned to Uchimura and says that Uchimura was done with it. So then she smiles again and I turned to put the game on an endtable by the door, then I look up and see her running full-speed away like she'd just done a 'ding-dong ditch.' Pretty crazy, ya know?
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| Thursday, June 2nd, 2005
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3:55 pm - Gloating
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I'd rub it in more, but it really wasn't that important to me. My dad and bro were extremely happy, though. Still, what a weird match, eh Uchimura? I'm surprised at how good Kyoko-senpai is at tennis. I can't believe you and her beat me and my bro. Still, my bro hasn't ever even held a tennis racket. Good thing my parents beat yours on court 2.
But wouldn't ya know it, I beat you at singles. You suck so bad. Wasn't even all that close. 6-3? Ha. Loser.
All's cool though. That was a rockin' picnic your mom put on. Thank her for me. I never got the chance to. I didn't want to interupt the conversation she was having on her cell phone. It sounded important.
By the way, did you see when Kyoko-senpai socked me in the arm after the game of doubles? She just runs up to me, socks me really hard in the arm, then says "That's for beating us! Good game, Mori-chan." Don't ask why Mori-chan. I have no clue. She's just crazy I guess.
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| Saturday, May 28th, 2005
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3:30 pm - Overtime!
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That's right, Uchimura. We've tied it up. It's 5-5 now. I can't believe you'd actually challenge us to a sparring contest! Sure, you beat me, but my dad and brother pummeled you all! You're lucky my brother is a nice guy and didn't punch your mom or sister. He sure got you good though! Sucker. You're lucky my mom works in a hospital. That cut above your eye looked painful.
I'd cut tag all this, but I want everybody to know about the final event. The umm, well, appropriately named 'pissing contest.' You know, the one YOU picked out! Dork. The girls are lucky that they were excluded from that event, cuz I'm pretty sure we were all pretty embarrassed about that one. Especially when that old lady walked by and took a seat on a nearby bench to watch. That was creepy. I'm still shocked that we won! It's just too bad we averaged the scores. Your dad was like, really really good. He was knocking down some of those cans in the back row! Too bad you brought down his average so much.
Dumbass. What a stupid last choice contest. Do you practice that or something? Well it's 5-5 now, and of course, tennis will settle it all. Doesn't it always? I think we've decided since we both have 4 member families, we'll play two games of doubles. In case of a tie, it'll be me vs you. Cool?
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| Friday, May 27th, 2005
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6:00 pm - Graduation
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Dang, I just noticed everybody has been going graduation crazy. I hadn't even thought about it. There aren't all that many people graduating that I really know... Of course it'll be weird without Tachibana-san, but I'm 100% confident that he'll come back and coach us next year, so it isn't like I'll never see him. Also I know Uchimura's sister, Kyoko-senpai, is graduating, but I'll still see her everytime I go to Uchimura's place, so it's not like I won't be seeing her at all... I guess graduation doesn't really affect me at all.
( private )
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| Friday, May 20th, 2005
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9:42 pm - Round 3: The water round
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| Monday, May 16th, 2005
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4:29 pm - Jingle
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I might have very well won the contest for the advertising project. I had to call up and sing a jingle to people over the phone, and it really went poorly at first. Then, just as I was about to give up, this guy actually orders 24 bottles of sensual perfume! Some guy from Hyoutei! As I went on, my jingle got longer and longer as I got more and more bored.
So my jingle went something like this:
If you want people to like you
There is something you should do
Put on our perfume and then you'll see
The number one lover you will be
Ohh it's only forty bucks
And you will have really good lucks
It may seem small but that's OKAY!
You really won't use it anyway
Well the stench is very strong
So you know you can't go wrong!
Just do some weed and no one will know!
They'll just think you smell like a ho!
...that's usually the point that they hang up on me...
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| Saturday, May 7th, 2005
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4:27 pm - It's On
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| Friday, April 29th, 2005
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1:49 pm - Company Picnic
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Today was company picnic day, and you know what that means... It means we pretend my dad works at whatever the hell company had a picnic and we take on other families in order to win the medal for best family, only to have it taken away when they find out he doesn't work there. It's always kinda funny. It's just too bad I'm always bringing down the family.
There were three events: 3-legged race, wheelbarrow race, and relay race. My dad and my older brother rocked in the 3-legged race. They're so damn in-sync. I mean, I guess they should be since they PRACTICE it! They've seriously gone for a four mile run around the city 3-legged style. The only time they fell was when they couldn't decide to go left or right around this old lady with a cane. My dad went left, my bro went right, and the old lady went flying.
We didn't win the wheelbarrow race. Mom and I that is. Mom ran too quickly and I lost my umm.... handing? It's not exactly footing after all. Anyway, yeah, I slid on my face for the last couple yards of the race. We came in fifth.
We made up for it on the relay race though. My part of the relay was running through tires, and I've done that a couple times at tennis practices. Well, more like after practice when a few of us would head to that dump down the street for our shortcut home. The place with all the tires lying around.
Anyway, that was some good fun. A guy rudely asked me where I got my black eye. I told him his momma kicks when she's excited. My dad pulled me away, but started cracking the hell up once we were out of sight. I'm glad my dad likes my sense of humor, cuz I sure depress him with my lack of interest in his thousands of sports.
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| Tuesday, April 19th, 2005
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1:53 pm - The party
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Wow. All that attended my party, thanks! People usually don't do that for me, and lemme tell ya, that was a good party. Too bad I was kicked a couple days ago and had a black eye for the party. Oh well, it was all worth it see Uchimura get into a fight with that one guy.
I dunno who brough all the girls to the party, but thank you. Thank you a lot.
You know, in all honesty, I didn't see a party coming (great surprise guys!) but I really should have seen it coming. I mean, you go so many years with everybody saying "Happy Birthday" to you all day long, but on the day of a surprise party everybody suddenly forgets to say it... But you all sure got me!
The most surprising thing at the party was the guests. I didn't even know at least half of them. Also I'm glad Uchimura threw the party at his house. At least my family wasn't there. Hell, they didn't even know why I got home so late. Uchimura, didn't you tell them? They weren't mad, but still...
Anyway, to all who attended my party, thanks again! I had a blast.
~Mori
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| Saturday, April 16th, 2005
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8:45 pm - My dad hits me
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Hey all. Sorry, I just woke up. No, I'm not (just) lazy. I've been lying unconscious for about six hours now ever since my dad KOed me. He caught me with a really round house to my face. I'm gonna have a shiner now. Strike that, I've already got a shiner, and damn is it swollen.
...this is the last time I walk by my brother and my dad sparring. All I remember is that I was walking through the rec. room (aka the dojo) because my mom told me to go in and grab my dad's wallet (it was in his jeans and he was wearing his gi) so she could go out and pick us up some dinner. It all went blank, so I'll just tell you what my dad told me.
It was something like this. "Oh man, you should've seen it. RIGHT when you walked in, these fuckin' ninjas jumped through the shoji wall. Your brother and I tried our best to fight them off before any harm was done, but there were just too many of them!" then my brother adds "LIKE SEVENTY!" so my dad continues "Yeah! Like SEVENTY! Then one of them flew through the already broken wall and does a flying kick and gets you right in the eye! Oh, but don't worry son. We killed every one of those fuckers. Decapitated each and every one of them and sent the heads home to their parents so they'd have to see the shame in their parents' eyes even while they were dead."
It's amazing that the wall is perfectly fine. We've got some talented carpenters in this family I guess. And don't worry, I'm fine. It's not the first time something like this has happened. I'm just lucky Mom's a nurse.
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| Tuesday, April 5th, 2005
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12:16 am - Online
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Sorry, Tachibana-san. I think at the meeting where we discussed this online journal I must not've been paying attention. I just found out about this whole thing a few weeks ago when I was helping Uchimura set his up. Since then I've been waiting on a couple computer parts. I was upgrading my video card, but I didn't have enough money, so I sold my old video card, then used the money to buy the new one. So I've been without a video card for a while, and therefore without a computer.
Now that I'm online, I really don't have much to say tennis-wise. The other day I played a match against Sakurai. He won. I'm not very good at singles.
As far as my personal life, I've recently started playing the guitar. I'm already a pro when it comes to the drums, but now I'm going after the Kirk Hammett kick ass guitar style. He rocks.
( Uchimura )
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