Hidamari

So, I am in History of Art right now, but she's covering the last hundred years of Chinese history, which I just studied this past spring. I am horribly tired still, since my sleep has degenerated again. I am not even sure how I was able to get up this morning. Yesterday was fairly productive, but today is so busy that I become tired just thinking about it. I had my medication adjusted, so hopefully I feel better soon, but right now I just can't quite wake up completely. I am very anxious to get through today, once today is done, things will feel a lot lighter I think. That makes it very tempting to just go back to bed though. There is a good chance when I get home I will nap a bit, but only because my sleep is still very very off.
Last night was the library holiday party at Amy's house. It was lots of fun and I got to meet new people, and just be around everyone outside of the library (because, the library of course is *such* an oppressing place!). Sue just returned from Tehran, visiting her parents and just having a nice vacation. It was cute because her jet lag was so bad at one point that she fell asleep while we were playing a game.
I think I'll end it here, as she's talking about some art now.

I finally had a bit of a good day. The midterm I already wrote about, but I came home and had a bit of lunch afterwards, and had my 'therapy' session. We did not work on my assertiveness problem, but I'm not going to complain too much, I still got to talk about everything. He is still convienced that I need some cardio during the week to help my sleep and mood. Hopefully I can try that tomorrow. Literature went fine, although I missed at least two quiz questions, booo (But I aced the first quiz!). Then I came home, cooked a bit of dinner and then, since it's an off night for Japanese Club, Emi-chan and I went to ZenCha for tea and wrote the bulk of my Japanese essay for the Kobe Application. Now I just need a teacher to help me with a few sentences and check the grammar! But I still have the one page English essay to write, but that is not nearly as hard. Now I've done all my evening things and can go to bed, yay!

As for Pride and Prejudice, I just read the chapter where Darcy writes 'the letter' after he proposes to Lizzie, ah, I love this story! I also failed to mention my Aunt Rosie, when she was in town a few weeks back, gave me my birthday present early (my guess to save shipping, it is heavy!). She bought me a beautiful copy of Hiroshige's 100 views of Edo!! And just in time to put on my new coffee table that goes with my new sofa (which we could not love any more than we do- although we have not been brave enough to pull out the bed just yet). Can you believe it is almost November? My birthday and the holidays are just around the corner! And I have not yet chosen the stationary for my holiday party!!!!!!

お休み！

My mom stayed late last night (really late, she was probably really crabby this morning, lol), but then I just wanted to read my Jane Austen and go to sleep.

I'm worried because I took my last 'half dosage' and my sleep is still not good. I cannot fall asleep before 2AM, and even then I don't 'sleep sleep' until about 6AM, which sucks when you have at 9:30 midterm. This class is so hard because while I don't know everything about the art (or that much even) I know the religions and I know a lot of the history of these countries, so most of her lectures focus on teaching everyone else this stuff, blah.

This week I'm hoping is much better than any of the others. I've done most of my linguistics reading, only have the homework stuff left this week. I have a bit of literature to do, but I'm no so worried about that- I like Genji. I just hope Benji comes to class this week, that makes it a little more interesting (we at least can make faces at each other!). I really *really* need to work on my Kobe application (due next Friday, scary) this week. So we'll just see how it goes.

Oh my gosh, I'm so tired, I can't stop yawning! Oh well, I should at least try to pay good attention to lecture, half hour more to go! じゃまたね！

Last night I was much too tired to take my bath, or write in my journal, so I'll do a double post today. I'm still at work at the library right now, but with only half an hour left before closing, there's not a whole lot going on.

Yesterday was pretty relaxed. I was finally able to attend a library orientation, which was not painful at all. I met one of the girls from SEL Reference who was Japanese (yay!). Then Emily and I hung out, watched more of Season 2 of Sailor Moon, baked my pumpkin bundt cakes (no cookies though, Giant Eagle was sold out of puree pumpkin!!!!!). Then Andrew worked on my car and we visited my mom for awhile. I was really tired when I got home, but it took me forever to get to sleep, and I slept miserably. I hope it's not my meds, but it could be since I'm still phasing them in.

My energy/mood is better, but I did still well up a lot when we went to see Elizabeth: The Golden Age this morning. I have to say one nice thing about the library is that I get to see a lot of tasty Asian guys, yum. I did complain to Michelle today that I never seem to get to pull Japanese books when I'm paging! Always the Chinese! Oh well, better leave something to write about later- it's almost time to close.

Today was completed somehow! I managed to get my midterm in, but had to miss my class because between my headache and the five pages (I made four....blah) to be done, with references, it was a slow process. It's my second day on medication, and I feel pretty good, no side effects so far either. I've also gotten some water down- my weakness! I'm on my second bottle now; no additives, but I did have a bottle of cherry coke during the writing process.

After turning my paper in, I relaxed a bit, playing some of DDR Hottest Party on the Wii, although I think I've beat all the easy stuff now :P I watched some of Japanorama, which usually upsets me, awful Johnathan Ross exposing some of the not-so-cool parts of Japanese culture. But I did learn about Para Para, which looks fun! It's not insanely hard choreographed hyper techno music. And they make DVD's! Well, they make DVD's of *everything* in Japan, but yay! Honestly, it's like line dancing meets DDR (*very* Para Para influenced). But it's a group thing at the end of the day, so any one want to join me??

Then I did some cleaning (ew, refridgerator), and organized my desk, blah. Renewed the tags for Mamoru, who, by the way, was paid off earlier this month, tens weeks early! I now own my sexy Civic, hehe. At best I won't need to worry about a car for five years, but at worst I don't want to buy another one until I'm good and settled in D.C., so three or four years.

For tomorrow, I have some reading I want to get done for literature, and get a chunk of linguistics out of the way, there's a myth write up, plus the homework, which I've done a tiny bit of already today. Then I have my library orientation at 2:30 until 4:30 (それから図書館のオリエンタシオンは２：３０から４：３０までです。) Then I'll hang out with Emi-chan until my brother is ready to work on Mamoru, who needs an oil change and his headlights changed. Then we'll probably wander around Easton for awhile and just talk, which honestly feels so good.

When Nick got home, we went to the store, which I wanted to do in the morning but I wasn't *too* tired, so I figured why not. Now I've done everything in my ritual (except the netti pot, ick, last night was so unplesant!) and I think I'm feeling a little sleepy. So, time to curl up and go to sleep! お休み！

To say the very least, I've been going through a great deal lately. All of my medical adventures this past year have left me exhausted, depressed, and with little will power or determination. I cry easily, have no focus or drive, my sleep pattern is erratic, and a general disconnect between my thoughts and my actions. I am anxious about everything! So, in an attempt to establish an evening ritual before bed, I am adding my LJ so I can vent, review, and relax- hopefully.

Today was a general failure, but I did have my blood drawn, started my medication (yay for SSRI's! Oh seritonin how I have missed thee), and I did do my reading for linguistics tomorrow. But that still leaves my midterm paper for the morning.

In general, I just miss the person I used to be. I *used* to have energy, I accomplished things- lots of things! I felt like I was actually doing things. I feel lonely most of the time, and disgusted with myself. There are no good thoughts in my head.

In order to create a trigger that tells my body," Hey, get sleepy already!" I've decided to do these things before bed:
- pack my bookbag, lay my clothes out
- brush my teeth, use my netti pot (one day water will pass through my right sinus cavity!!!)
- take a bath while reading, right now, it is one chapter of my fully annotated Pride and Prejudice
- mositurize
- write in my LJ
- brush my hair out in bed, then hopefully go to sleep!

Ideally, I would start doing this no later that 9:30/10:00, but as you see, it is going to take some time to get myself to sleep that early. Also, I have stopped feeding this to my Facebook, just because if I do write in this everday, aside from talking about more intimate things, most people there either do not care that much, or I perfer them to not be so easily privy to my more personal life.

Current Vocab Word: Pusillanious
On Rotation: Capsule rmx album, Sifow: Love Spell album, and Girl son anime trance party: great remixes of anime theme songs, my faves: Sailor Moon, Cutey Honey, Eva, and Cat's Eye.

I'm through my first two days of SPEAC. I am the only girl in a class of six, which is a very lonely place to be. The boys are amicable enough, but they're not much for studying together. I think I'm holding up quite well either way. Terada-sensee doesn't seem so scary this time, and I like having Nakata-sensee for classes now, and Yagi-sensee has always been nice to have. I still don't like FACT classes, and Kern-sensee teaching them doesn't make them any more tolerable. I miss all of my friends from intensive quite desperately; I'm happy that I get to see Driggs-san before classes and during lunch, plus he's able to answer my random questions without being inconvienced.

We took the J-SKIT today, short for Japanese Skills Test, consisting of listening comprehension, structure, and reading. I think I didn't suck too badly, it's not for a grade, just a way to measure our learning this summer. I was happy because I've been using the JSL typescript to practice reading CC's I already know, so I know a few kanji that I shouldn't have! That felt very good needless to say. I'm still getting use to waking up at 6AM. Bates-san, who was late this morning for the J-SKIT, woke up at 8:20 - 10 minutes before class! I got to class at 7:30 so that I was awake and functioning in a foreign language by 8:30, which again, without Driggs-san, I would feel very lonely and disheartened about, even though it is what is best for me.

Nick's friend Max is coming to visit for the 4th. He'll be here in time for Red, White, and Boom! and then we'll all be going to Cedar Point on the 4th! I ran into Hannah today, whom I had meaning to call, and she says she'll be able to go with us also! That's really all I have to look forward to at the moment; Katie's Bachlorette party is not until the 28th of July, and the wedding is two weeks later in August. I found out at her bridal shower last weekend though, that Christina, Katie, and I all get to stay in a room together the night before the wedding, which will be so fun - even if we can't stay up *too* late! We're also going into Wooster to have our hair done for the wedding (thank heavens!) but again, that's all not until August!

That's really all for now, so as a fun treat (and speaking of Wooster's....) I leave you all with a bit of Hugh Laurie as everyone's favorite aristocratic idiot, Bertie Wooster, singing (struggling with....) Irving Berlin's classic, Puttin' On The Ritz:

I just got home from work and it was beautiful (utsukushii!). Living so close to campus and the bike trail, I almost never drive, but rather always bike. I bought a headlight last week so I can bike home at night from work. Kyle was nice enough to bike with me the last two days but I was alone tonight. It seems like it will be quite safe; enough people are still out this hour walking, running, or biking also, and I haven't seen anyone suspicious looking yet.

The best part really is the entire nature aspect. The trail follows the river the entire time, and their are two bridges to cross. The first bridge by Ackerman is nice because if some people have their lights on who live around the Village, I can feel that I'm almost home. Then there are the wetlands, which are my favorite part by day, but even more so at night. There are lightning bugs everywhere, and they twinkle like a million stars all around you. It's breath-taking, fabulous and even with the best imagination, unimaginable but something that truly must be experienced. At the end of the wetlands it the second and last bridge and the lights of the Village. It really feels like coming home, and I can bike all the way up that last ugly hill now just to see if our bedroom light is on or not.

It doesn't matter how awful work was (which is usually is at this point!) or how the rest of the day has been, biking home at night, and in the morning too, it's just me on the trail

Ah, nothing like opening an update with a Bach reference. So, amongst the millions and millions of things that have happened, I'm just going to stick to the fun stuff. The apartment? Awesome, as if you couldn't have guessed. School? When *hasn't* that been hard? But, I've been updating my music collection a bit, which leaves me with a few things to say. My latest Bollywood love is a slightly older film, Main Hoon Na, but I *love* the music! Therefore you must go to Youtube and watch the two catchiest songs:
Gori Gori: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HaMhM8UPMLw
Chale Jaise Hawaien: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NayYxeRXj7Q
I'm of course making the grand assumption that people don't get hung up on the language barrier and can enjoy a good beat, plus, the dancing is fun to watch! I bought the movie (and duh, the soundtrack, did you know there is no iTunes for India? wtf, seriously!) because a.) I looooove Zayed Khan, yumyum, drool, and b.) I love to watch the songs over and over and....well, you know.

I'd also like to say that there are other cases still, where the Japanese just do it better. I'm not talking about my car bias, or that the *original* Shall We Dance was just better, Richard Gere or not, but rather, Hilary Duff. I'm a huge fan of Kawabe Chieco, there isn't much she's done that I don't like, which is rare with me and Pop artists. She's done two cover songs, Avril's Complicated -> Be Your Girl, and Hilary's "I Can't Wait." So, apparently, "I Can't Wait" was never a real release for Hilary, it was big with the tween crowd because I guess she "released" it when she was 14 and that whole Lizzie McGuire thing. Anywho, I never had heard that version before, I only ever knew Chieco's, which always sounded familiar, but I didn't know why. Then I found out it was a Hilary Duff song, and proceeded to find Hilary's version. Omg, did it *SUCK*. It sounds like a 14 year old's first time in the studio, ewww, it's so awful. Normally, I'm all about *the original* but wow, did Chieco crush Hilary with her own song, lol. If anyone is curious, I'm willing to share, just IM or email me.

Other than that, I would like to share the happy news that I am a proud multi-function, Dual Layer DVD burner with LightScribe owner. I was always burner challenged, but not so now! I even burned my own beautiful LightScribe image designed beautifully by me, for Gokusen Season 1 (just for you C-chan...once I have time to burn the files on it, lol). It's pretty awesome, oh, and I have a cellphone too, although most people know that now....but if you haven't seen it, it's sweet. It's an older phone (thank you E-bay) but I love it! They just don't make them like this anymore. Daishin, the 5th grader I tutor from Japan is completely fascinated with it, lol. Alright well, back to my table of 50 sounds (gozyuuon) and kanjis, w00t.

So, today being Thursday, I'm at work helping dad, and I actually helped run the press for like, the first time ever. How sad is that, I'm almost 23 :P
I'm still pretty depressed, I've been getting blown off left and right by people. My midterm was terrible despite a.) studying b.) actually having done all of the readings and c.) never missing a class. However, I did miss all of my classes yesterday because I felt horrible, headache, toasty/cold, nasty irritated tonsil (still is a bit) and overall exhaustion, woohoo. And there's still a month of school left! Yay!!! Eh.

I've been thinking about how I have to fly to Japan, and Nick's been doing the Coke Rewards and telling me all the cool stuff he could buy me. They have Delta Skymiles as an option, and, hahaha, it takes 60,000 Skymiles to go to Japan. Mother of all, Coke's highest Skymiles offered is 50K. Then! flying into Atlanta doesn't bother me, but I'm soooo not connecting in NYC, ew, Atlanta any day over NYC, blah. Even still, Then you have a choice of first flying into Tokyo, or going to KOREA FIRST, uhhh, no? However, I just found a *shortest flight* tab, and American Airlines has a nice one: fly into Texas, then they take you straight to Ooooosaka!!!!!! God, I dream about the wonderful crazy people who live in Osaka *dreamy sigh* perfect mix of Japanese and crazy. Oh, I just noticed that Osaka has two airports, but I don't know which ones is the cool artifical island one, Kansai International (hehe Kansai ^_^ ) or Itami, boo. However I could always just have fun and fly into Tokyo early, run around like the crazy person I am for a lil bit, take a bullet train (shinkanshin) to Osaka, have more fun, and then take another train to Kobe beore classes start, now ***THAT*** would be kickass. I'd probably be broke before I got to Kobe however....ah well, lol. Oh, and the American Airlines flight that is oh so nice is yours for the modest price of $1355 per person! Really not that bad since the cheapy ones are only like $1200.

Well, that was a nice distraction, and hey, it was informative. I think I'm going to head home now, ja matta.

So, the quarter is moving along fairly quick. Next week I'll be in the third credit of 103, yay. I'll also start to learn my kanji, ehh, a lil scary. Stats is going alright, get my midterm back on Monday, I figure a B, but who knows really. International Studies is pretty boring at the moment, I get to start my paper soon, yay, hoping it will be alright to have India for my topic.

I had my first meeting with my English Conversation Partner. His name is Smith and he's from Thailand, 23 and hoping to get into the Industrial Engineering Grad Program. I guess he's worried about his GRE scores; he has a younger brother and younger sister, and he isn't homesick, at least not yet. His English isn't horrible, but he does seem pretty anxious to improve, which is sweet.

I'm getting crappy hours here at work (haha, yes I'm at work, it's slow and while we don't have wireless internet in Drake yet, I'm using one of the computers here), and I'm trying to get other work. One of the guys from my J600 class is starting a tutoring sort of business this month, so I'm waiting to hear from him, and also at the end of July for three weeks, JSO needs some English Conversation Partners for a group of students coming to visit from Japan, and it's paid. Still haven't heard from Janet about that. Other than that I only have 14 hours here at the PAD, which is *nothing*.

I'm feeling very apathetic at the moment concerning anything to do with the people in my life and my future. It all feels so uncertain, complicated, and completely out of my control. I've hit that attitude gear in my head that says," work work work work work." and forget about everything else. Earn money, earn grades, and just let whatever else happen, happen. I have steadily been getting frustrated with this whole "waiting" for things to happen and it is completely unsatisfying. I am running myself into the ground day in and day out, and for what? I don't know, I'm waiting to find out :P I don't want to wait two months for Nick to move back, I don't want to wait until the end of the quarter to drive to Virginia, I don't really want to have to drive to Virginia, I don't want to deal with the whole apartment thing, I don't want to deal with Mom's car, I don't want to deal with Dad's medical bills, I don't want to hear people tell me Nick and I are going to get married (honestly, wtf with that one?). All I know right now is I have 90 pages of International Studies reading and a bunch of e-mails no one is returning, I'm stuck here until 11, and that the next movie in my Netflix queue is Joseph Cambell's The Power of Myth Disc 1. I'm depressed and no one has any sort of answers that can make me feel better about my life right now.

Wow, the quarter is finally over for me! But, it all turned out well!!!

Quinn-sensee *just* posted my final grade this morning! I'm so happy! Now if only I could get above a B+ in Japanese :P Almost had that A- again this quarter, soooo frustrating!!

So, Summer Quarter next week. Six credits of Japanese that I *must* finish in order to take intensive in the fall. One international studies class, and my stats credit, which I'm taking Philos 153 for because it should be a piece of cake! One of my textbooks is called "How Science Works" this should be interesting, huh?? The International Studies class will probably be a drag, but maybe not so much since it's summer quarter?? The Japanese will be plenty hard enough!

I'm working 30 hours this week, and the only day off I have is Thursday, but that's okay, because Priya, Adam, and I are all going out for the day. We're going to meet a Hagerty, and I'm going to show them my fun Enka Presentation, and then we're going to lunch at a Northern Indian restaurant, and then out shopping at all the asian stores and bakeries nearby!!!

Well, I think that's mostly everything, I still have to call Mom and tell her I made the Dean's List!!!

So today was productive, yet not so productive. Lau-san gave me the wrong DVD, so I have no videos to edit, blah. But I did get several PowerPoint slides done for J600, yay. I need some hardcore high-speed internet time to work on the rest, plus a lil loving from my musically inclined boyfriend - most people just don't understand what a pentatonic scale is (yonanuki, hah, I know it in TWO languages, muahahahaha). Poked at my research paper, but nothing yet. Plus I need to study for Japanese on Monday, and the J600 quiz for Monday. I'm going to do a bit of that tonight, take a bath and go to bed.

This morning, C-chan, Sake, and his roommate for next year, Joe, and I all went to Zencha for breakfast. It was pretty nice, but I could have used a lil more time to study for Japanese. I got a 3.5 from Murazumi-sensee, although she's pretty tough anyway. My only fault was I couldn't remember the whole character plus diacritical plus vowel for imitating v plus vowel combinations in katakana, arggg. Oh, points to me though! I went to see Quinn-sensee in the hopes of a midterm grade (hahaha, right...) on Friday and we ended up poking around a bit for Enka resources. I learned how to use a new library database, and while Quinn-sensee wasn't exactly "master of all" in the way of usage, I found *two* Masters dissertations in *English* talking about Enka today. Now I just get to wait in aggitation for the inter-library loans to go through. Hopefully Lau-san also got my e-mail and will bring me the proper DVD on Monday.

I think I'm suffering from the whole *I'm not going to do well enough* form of procrastination in the way of my paper on Mendenhall. This guy was nutts in the coolest possible way, and I'm just going to mess it all up. Plus my sources are a bit daunting, and I have so much other work to do (thank you Quinn-sensee, most neurotic teacher I've had yet). Luckily the paper is the last thing due, but there's plenty of work to be done on it. Oh, good lord, I have to do my calligraphy final this week too, oi. It won't be really bad, since Li-sensee is awesome, but it's still more work.

On top of all of that, I'm going crazy missing Nick. The last two days have been miserable. I have no specific reason why, maybe because things are going fairly well and I'm generally happy with myself, maybe I'm just being hormonal, maybe it's stress, end of the quarter and all, or maybe I just love my boyfriend so incredibly much and it's finally gotten so hard working like I have been and not seeing his sweet face smiling at me when I've finished at the end of the day? He says he's felt pretty good the last two days, like getting out of bed in the morning doesn't hurt so much. That makes me happy for so many reasons - knowing he feels better, even if it's just a little bit, and that I can totally squeeze him to death when he gets here on Friday, heh. I wish I could turn off this little process that seems to be running in the back of my mind, I just kind of drift off into it when I'm not horribly focused on work, and I get caught up thinking, remembering, all the really wonderful things about Nick. It makes me all distracted, and mushy, and horribly heartbroken all at the same time. The emotions are on the level of having an intense crush, an infatuation, but knowing what all the things you're thinking about are actually like. I think about how it feels to touch him, and see him smile at me, play with my hair, lie in bed with him, with my head snuggled in my spot on his chest, and my whole body aches, dying to be touched, so badly that I **honestly** have to wonder what is going to happen to me when he does get here. In four years I've always been fairly well ajusted when Nick had to leave, but I don't know what's wrong with me this time. I may have well regressed to being as pathetic as I was when I was crushing on Karl, oh so very many years ago. Nick and I have never been emotionally silly, and I've always thought our feelings for each other were a great deal more mature than any other relationship I've had, the level of trust and respect, adoration, understanding....that softer, purer type of love, so for me to be getting all ewwy gooey is odd and a good deal frustrating. Ah! I don't know what to do with myself! Best to just go to bed, nee? Minna-san, oyasumi nasai!

Yay, I have time at the computer! Not much, since I still have plenty of things to do, and I'm determined to go to bed nice and early tonight! Soooo, update!

Monday....tried to eat sushi and nigiri at Japanese Club, neither agreed with me, so no one is allowed to harp on me about the sushi thing now, I made a *very* honest effort at it.

Tuesday: Hannah and I hung out at my house after class, ate pizza, watched Maybe Baby and House, had great fun.

Wed: Uh, I don't really remember yesterday....I just worked and worked and worked, studied a whole bunch...oh, duh, there we go!!! After working and studying for like twelve hours, C-chan and I went to Raising Cane's for dinner, and then hung out in Taylor with Dark for a while. It was nice seeing some of the 'older' group, people who knew you before you went off the deep end, lol....well, at least in theory anyways, haha.

Today: Amal opened at work this morning, so it was nice seeing one of the student managers. Will the Sushi Guy talked to me a whole bunch today!!!! He asked me about buying apartment stuff (wow, even my b/f I'm going to be "moving in" with doesn't even do that!!! *faints*) it was very cool - oh, he got his hair cut too, and I didn't think the shaggy hair looked so bad, but now that it's trimmed up, it looks quite nice, hehe (hey, I'M LONELY). Got very tired, and had to walk an order over to the RPAC and on the way back it poured down rain and hail, and me with no coat or umbrella (kasa arimasen deshita!!!). Then I had a bit of fun studying with Onee-san, Adam-kun came by and we laughed at him like always ^_^ Got a 4, which means solid 90% now, w00t. Eight sessions left to go! Six of them have to be 4's to get an A tho, eeeehh. Oh, and I got Dad to pay me today, which means I can: pay him back the rest of the money I owe him, get gas next week (or now...it's still pretty cheap!) and do *stuff* ahahahaha, money!

Friday: Work, then I might go crash with Lao-san (his first name is Hermann, *rofl* anyways...) in the J Club office and play video games. Then at 1:30 I'm gonna go harrass Quinn-sensee about my MT, I wanna know how badly it sucked. Then off to calligraphy, wheee. After that tho....in the Union, there's an Asian etiquette dinner from 6-8. $2 all you can eat, Indian, Chinese, and Japanese, plus a learning experience!?!?! You *know* I'm there.

Saturday: Maybe Zencha's with C-chan for Breakfast in the morning, then I.I. (Last Saturday Session, probably EVER!) then working ALL AFTERNOON coz I certainly have enough stuff to work on!

Sunday: More work, then going to see Da Vinci Code with Ryan, Hannah, and whoever else is up to it!

Monday: MoMo's with the Japanese Club!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Like anything else will matter that day....well, aside from Japanese and the J600 quiz *sigh*

Thursday is the next big day, since Onee-san and I are going to a seminar together, only I totally can't remember what it's on at the moment, but it's something to do with learning Japanese (or a foreign language in general....lol).
Oh, and then there's next Friday.....nothing really big going on that day, just a normal Friday, aside from the fact that....you know
NICK IS COMING TO VISIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Which translates to great amounts of happiness and joy, and lots of dirty things no one really wants to read about, lol ^_^

But yeah, I need to get going so I can get some well earned sleep tonight!!! I'm so looking forward to sleeping, it's quite sad....Ja matta minna, ganbatte, we're almost done for the quarter!

Week Seven is almost over! I've been so completely busy that I usually have to *really* think about what day it is. Nick is coming to visit, two weeks from Friday, other than that there really isn't much on the "Things going on right now" calander. As for courses:

J600 is miserable, but still tolerable, however we'll see tomorrow morning how bad it is when Quinn-sensee e-mails our midterm grades. I spent five hours on the take home midterm, but what does that really mean? Who knows....

Chinese Calligraphy is pretty cool; one of my Japanese teachers is actually in it too, so that's fun. Plus, for the FIRST time in college, I know people in my class!

J102 is rocking, thanks to Priya, whom I now call onee-san. She's a grad student, working on a PhD, and days like today, she helps me study Japanese and makes up for the fact that there are no FACT sessions in Individualized Instruction. She also drills me like nuts too ^_^ and it's nice to have someone to talk to on a regular basis. Adam-kun stops by too, he's studying 103, and is always entertaining to talk to. On Monday, I for the first time, hit 89% in I.I. and if I do well today, I'll be at 90%. Who knows, if I stay on it, I could end up with an A in Japanese this quarter, which is really unfathomable for me, coz this is far from the easiest way to learn Japanese.

Priya has told me I should really take the JLPT this winter, Level 4 coz I won't know many kanji by then. I'll have to fly down to D.C. the first Saturday of December to do it, but I think it'll be kind of fun. I'll have to take the Metro down to Georgetown for the test, which takes 100 minutes, plus two rather long breaks (I think it said twenty minutes each). It's kinda an ugly time since it's near the end of the quarter. Aaron, who in February disappeared off to live in Japan for an undetermined amount of time, is going to get me a Kanji study book for level four, since the library here only has back copies of the test, but no study aides.

I signed up for Summer and Autumn quarter. For summer it Japanese, Stats (well, the Philosophy one), and International Studies, since I had to drop that this quarter....way too many projects! Autumn, it's Intensive Japanese, International Studies again (yay, Globalization), and EALL 683, which deals with Asian writing systems. I don't *really* need the EALL course, so I may audit, or even drop it, if things are too bad.

Nick and I are unoffically moving in together Autumn Quarter. He's got a pretty nice apartment over at Olentangy Village; I always wanted to live there - my cousin Beth lived there from about the time she graduated college until she got married to Tim, which was quite a few years. It'll be nice not to live so far from campus, and I won't have to drive *all* the time, and to have Dad not eat all my food, and to sleep in a big bed with my really cute boyfriend (isn't that what every girl wants!?!?!). Life will simply be easier. I'll miss seeing Mom tho, I mean, Nick and my Mom are the only people I care about, you know? My life would endlessly suck without them in it.
I'm excited about getting to furnish the apartment too. Pick out nice sheets for the bed, and Nick and I have talked a lil about buying unfinished wood furniture and staining it ourselves, which would be cheaper, fun to do, and everything would match, hehe. I'll have high-speed internet 24/7 too, hahaha, it's sad that I'll have to basically move out of my house to get it tho, blah. And I still have to survive another four months without it, ugh.

I may be very busy most of the time; working 8AM-Noon, then classes most the rest of the day. But what bugs me, is I have time to do other things, only there is no one to do other things with! I've gone to the movies once this quarter, and that's coz I got Ryan from work (he's a film major) to go see American Dreamz with me one day. But yeah, zero fun time because zero friends. And on that note, Priya's here now, so off to study Japanese for like, three hours, woohoo. No, seriously, I'm actually *happy* about that, istn' it weird what the right major can do for a person!?

I can't believe I didn't update at all during Spring Break! Well, I suppose it would help if there was actually any sort of break time in there, blah.

Low downs: Dad had hernia sugery, it went fine, but caused great stress due to my 55 year old father being equivilant to a petualant four-year-old. Nick found out what is most likely wrong with him, but most people know from his LJ. I have no idea what I'm suppose to do about that. Bought Injen Cold Air Intake, arrived today, OMG IT IS BEAUTIFUL. Not sure when I'm going to put THAT on, ehhh. Textbooks still haven't arrived, nor are any course packs done printing *sigh*. Signed up for five more credits, omg, I haven't taken twenty credits for a long time! Didn't got to Cleveland during break to see ukyo-e (so didn't spell that right, but I'm tired), the art museum is CLOSED due to the whole redoing the entire building thing. Yay, but, uhh, boooo.

Important thing(s?): Talked to Quinn-sensee (advisor, and teacher this quarter) got some stuff strightened out, but she really wants me to have a double major. Intially, I thought, eehhh?? no way. Then figured I should poke around. Considering what I'm taking, the difference between my East Asian Studies Minor (International Studies) and the Major is TWO CLASSES, one which will be my study abroad credit. And thus, I am now a double major, plus a Life Sciences minor thrown in, lol. Up to 20 credit hours: Japanese 600, Performance Traditions, Japanese 102.51 - First year language, Japanese 693 - Research for writing compeition paper, International Studies 597.01 - Food, Population, and the Environment, and finally, Chinese 283 - Chinese Calligraphy. Plus working 20 hours a week at the PAD 8AM - Noon, and I work out M-F at the gym before that. Let's see how long it takes me to get *really* tired. Only 48 days of class left (no class Memorial Day!), woohoo. Btw, in J600 Wednesday, I have to wear white socks, because we'll be learning our lil Noh Dance and working on the Chanting, omg, crazy - but fun, so think of me, it'll be worth a laugh, hehe. Oyasumi nasai, ganbatte!

I am *done* with Japanese 101.51!!! Yatta!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
However, I did get a B+ *weep*
And I'm not talking, ehh, 86% B+, we're talking like 88.3% B+. I just couldn't make it to the 89% mark *more weeping*
I can't wait for the quarter to be over tho - I'm exhausted, and I still have to write my comp studies paper for Friday :P then my J231 final next Wednesday, but after that I get to set around in a waiting room while Dad is in surgry, woohoo. And even Spring Break is *full* of work, I have an entire list al la Rory Gilmore.

Why I <3 Ananth-sensee:
So my fave I.I. sensee is Ananth-sensee. Firstly, I get a kick out of the fact that an Indian woman is teaching me Japanese, come on, is this not this most interesting world we live in? Plus it was nice coz I asked her how to call Harsh an Idiot in Hindi coz Mr. "I haven't spoken Hindi in four years" couldn't remember - he could only come up with how to say dumb f*ck, nice, huh? Anyway, she's pretty nice, but most of them are, but Ananth-sensee is a little easier to talk to. But what makes me think she's just awesome is a.) she explains all my totally baka mistakes really well, and b.) she said she would help me outside of the I.I. center! Like even over spring break, hello, is that not *the* greatest thing ever. I mentioned how I'd be here after she said that, and my paper on Mendenhall I've gotta start research on, and she was like," omg, you have to let me read that!"

Ahhh, this is what *I* always thought college was suppose to be like!

Next quarter is going to be.....so different. Nick's going home in April, which affects me in a lot of sucky ways other than the obvious ones. I have no where to crash on campus, especially on the nights I close (if I close at all at work, but I'll get there.....), which affects gas, and food, and relaxing, I can't nap, wahhaaaaaa. All my courses are at night next quarter too, which means I can't work at night, and for the last week or so I thought I wasn't going to get *any* hours at the PAD.
BUT! Last night Dennis told me I'm going to do the sandwiches, which we're just starting, so I get to work 8-noon M-F! It's more perfect than I could have hoped for!! Go to work, then I can study and throw in an I.I. session before class at 3:30/4:00, then go to the gym before I go home for the night! I was so worried about my finances mostly, I mean I just got a budget set up, and if my wages had gotten cut in half, I would have really been messed up. But now I can do everything I had planned to do! Mamoru can get that beautiful Ingen Cold Air Intake I've been drooling over, I can take Mom to the spa for mothers day, and if I'm really on it, I might get ahead of my plans and buy Mamoru's DC Lower Tie Bar and Greddy (mmmmm) Upper Strut Tie Bar, aaahhhahaha, heaven! If I'm especially good, I'll buy him that T2 wing I love so much this summer, but after that he'll have to be done, coz I have to save for Japan and eliminate my debt, which by the way I am already doing rather aggresively, hehe. I'm so proud of how well I'm managing my finances. Plus, my GPA is going to *rock* this quarter, even with the evil B+ in Japanese, lol.

Zyaa, otukarisama minna-san!

I got a 4.0 in I.I today, wah-00t. That means I've broken even between 3.0 and 4.0, and it all averages together to a 3.5, lol. Now I just have to get a handful more of 4.0 before the end of the month, and I'll definatly have A-/A for the quarter. Still don't know about J231 or Comp Studies yet, find out on Monday :P

I can't file my taxes yet, stupid Ajusted Gross Income; you have to use the one from last year, which is at home. Then I can file my FAFSA, but only after I get some 'fake' digits from mom and dad, because the heavens only know when dad will file the taxes - he gets at least one extention every year for the business. Oh, he got out of the hospital today. The idiot went to Las Vegas/Grand Canyon for a week, and then comes home and gets horribly sick for another week, ended up in the hospital Thursday. They've done all these tests and I guess they still don't know what's wrong.

I helped Nick buy his iPod yesterday. The postal service has been horribly eatting itself lately and he's not getting any of his mail. He got some of his money though, and since I got paid, I made up the difference so he could get his iPod. Now he's backing up the rest of his primary hard drive onto it, so hopefully everything will be okay until the rest of the money gets here and he can afford a new hard drive.

Financially this should be a good month for me, I should be able to take care of some car stuff, like a new battery and hopefully new remotes for his security system. If I do well, I should be able to buy a cool air intake by the end of March. After that, I have to save up for Mother's Day (mom and I are going to go to a spa, yay!!!! but it'll cost a bit) after that I can save up money for an upper strut tie bar for the front and lower strut tie bar for the rear suspention. I also start to save $50 minimum for the Kobe trip in '08, and begin paying $30 extra on my car payments to pay off my loan six months early. I should be able to pay about $40 more on my credit card also. This means however, that despite my decent income, I have no money to spend on myself :P I hope that my J600 and International Studies courses next quarter do not require too much in the textbook area, eeeh. I don't get to work at the PAD over break either, so check off a weeks worth of income there. It also means that I could go home to VA with Nick for break, but I can't afford airfare :P I doubt Dad will provide me with any extra work, which would be nice given my massive debt reduction/modest savings mode; he's been pretty tight up about paying me lately. I just really want to stick to my budget, and every time the PAD closes for break, it makes things that much harder for me to do so.

Excitement about next quarter: I schedule on Wednesday, woohooo. I find out on Monday what hours Ryan is going to need, and depending on that Dennis says I can pick up MWF shifts during the day. Nick and I may not take Social Dance 2 however, depending on what classes work out for him. I really don't want him to have to sacrifice his Poli Sci minor, nor not be able to graduate next spring, nor be able to go home and see people this summer, so everything is in knots right now. I wish they would post Summer quarter offerings already :P I need to know if I'm going to get the 20 hours I want. But I'm excited about Spring Quarter right now!!! If I get my day shifts, I can go to the gym regularly, and participate in the Japanese Club and History Society, none of which I can do with my schedule right now. Ahhh, well this is a huge post, so I think I'll cut it off here.

Omg, the quarter is halfway over. I updated my sacred dry erase calander the other day, and put all of my assignments and activities on it. I realized that when the end of February gets here, I'll basically be done with almost everything - EVERYTHING!! I'll be done with my five credits of Japanese, I'll have my second midterm out of the way in J231, my last short paper for Comp Studies will be turned it. That leaves my final for J231, and my final paper for comp studies. I have a B+ in Japanese right now, arggg, I've been working so hard for an A, but it's pretty tough. Yesterday I so totally should have gotten a 4, but Huang-sensee was all over my pronunciation. Oh well, three whole credits left to go. I only have one more oral only credit though, starting in the fourth credit I have to start learning katakana :P

Nick is also doing kickass, I don't know if I've ever seen him this focused and on the ball. Mom asked me the other day if I thought it was a lil scary....maybe a lil, but mostly I'm just massively proud of him all the time. We both feel really good - that is assuming that we were not so totally exhausted all the time so we could actually realize how good we feel about our accomplishments. I don't know how I'm doing in J231 and comp studies because I won't get anything back until Friday/Monday.

I made a new friend!!! I went to the Japanese Majors community on Facebook and said that I'd die for a study partner, and someone actually responded! It's awesome, she's also the only other person on Facebook that has Kanjani8 listed as a fave band. Hopefully tomorrow we'll be a bit more productive than we were yesterday, but we just talked about K8 and other bands we liked, and shared stuff. But perhaps with Laura's help I can get up to an A for the class. I just keep thinking, if I can't get an A in 101, how do I figure I can ever get an A in a higher level course?

I schedule next Wednesday, I'm planning on talking J102, J600 (performace traditions with Quinn-sensee), International Studies some number, it's on terror and terrorism, and hopefully Social Dance 2. I'll also be working mornings at the PAD on MWF, and then weekend nights to fill in the rest of the hours. It should be an awesome quarter - working in the mornings like that means I can have a more stable workout schedule and perhaps actually lose some weight :P

So, needless to say at this point, the major change was the best thing I've done in college yet. Oh, the other great thing about meeting Laura, is while she's taking 104 this quarter, she will be taking 2nd/3rd year intensive in the fall with me, so w00t, I already have a study partner for an entire year! I wonder if she'll take year 4 SPEAC in the summer too? I don't think she wants to go to Kobe in '08 though; she wants to attend one of the Universities in Japan (I don't wanna try to spell it, lol), it's apparently really prestigeous. Ahhh, I just want to do soooo well!!! Which is why I think I should either a.) go to bed (which I think Nick might appriciate) or b.) read more, coz I'm behind in J231, but mostly because there has been so much bloody reading the last week or so, and we have two texts which we will read every page of, ehhh....so, oyasumi nasai minna-san!

P.S. JSL CD-ROM Core Conversation Video of the day:
Carter-san (<3<3<3): Yamamoto-san zya nai desu ka?
Suzuki-san (hehehe): A! Soo desu nee!
Me: *rofl*

Nick and I have been working extremely hard at our classes. Last night we had our second dance class, and it was so much fun! Not simply because I *love* dancing, but because Nick also seems to be growing fonder of it, and enjoys it immensly. Both Japanese classes are going well, and I loathe my comparative studies course a bit, but I'm determined to do well in it.

I need to take some good time and effort now though, to honor the great person I happen to have in my life as a rather wonderful boyfriend. Firstly, he survies the ebb and flow of everyday life with me, which can be as interesting as exhausting. Then of course there is the fact that we've been together for so many years. After that, there is the insurmountable fact that is my indescribable family, my mother (not bad, just unique), my father (ugh), and randomly occuring, my brother (how is he my brother?), and my Aunts, Uncles, and Grandmother (omg, I'm related to these people also!? lol).
Those however, were those more obvious things that every couple encounters. Nick really takes care of me, which sounds a great deal more complicated that it really is. He fills in my short comings, he works with me, we compliment each other - he can cook a beautiful filet mignon, but no one can replicate my omlets. We're not afraid to help each other whenever possible, and after three years we discovered something one night. We have an unimaginable amount of trust in one another. I can't say how it came to be, or truly articulate the many levels of its importance in our relationship, but when push comes to shove, I **know** Nick is there, by my side, for me. We can not agree on politics, and he can dislike (or be "indifferent" to) my J-pop until the end of the Earth, but I can say I want to change my major to Japanese, and it's as if he knew all along it was going to happen, and he supported me 200% (which was very important while Mom came around to the idea).

He also accepts me. Which is something I never knew I needed before he was in my life. Sounds odd and funny, but it's true. I was always out to prove something to the world before, and I still have that, but in a very small measure - just enough to make myself want to be a good person, not try to do these impossible, unrealistic things (like science, lol). I found happiness in the basic true things about me, and found I didn't have to reach for some abstract idea of the person I wanted to be. Build on what is already inside of you, that's the best and most stable foundation you have.

So here's to Nick, my boyfriend, who is truly a good person, plays a mean Euphonium, polkas like a Yul Brynner to my Gertrude Lawrence, and can always put a smile on my face, I love you.