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March 20th, 2008
09:12 pm - Still Pondering The Moving
The question occured to me this morning, why spend so much money on rent when I can use the same monthly amount (more or less) for a mortgage on a house that will eventually become my own?
(Also, much better to deal with the sanity and impersonal attitude of the bank than with the pychotic behavior of the common landlord?)
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March 14th, 2008
06:03 pm - Meme Answers: Moving to the City
![[info]](http://p-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif) jtigermoon asks: I was a bit surprised to read in your journal a couple of weeks ago that you were moving to a large/larger city. Do you have any expectations or hopes to how it will change you or your life?
( Some Background )
( The Stuff I'm Leaving Behind )
( The Stuff I Hope to Gain )
(And the meme continues: Everyone has things they blog about. Everyone has things they don't blog about. Challenge me out of my comfort zone by telling me something I don't blog about, but you'd like to hear about, and I'll write a post about it.)
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March 12th, 2008
08:05 pm - Things I Don't Blog About
I rarely (never?) do memes, but this seems like a good one, especially since I haven't anything "on topic" (spirituality-related, that is) to journal about these days.
Everyone has things they blog about. Everyone has things they don't blog about. Challenge me out of my comfort zone by telling me something I don't blog about, but you'd like to hear about, and I'll write a post about it.
Oh do challenge me.
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December 25th, 2007
07:56 am - My Office Partner Keeps Humming "Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells..."
Merry Christmas, joyous Yule, beautiful Solstice and happy holidays to everyone! :)
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October 12th, 2007
10:21 pm - At the Point of Pleasure
Working towards personal transformation involves some risk. You can never be sure what exactly you will be transformed into. You can aim towards a certain goal, or direct yourself to specific places, but you'll never have complete control of what's going to happen to you. Walking into the forging fire of transformation is accepting to become whatever shape the fire chooses for you.
A couple of week ago I left a club at 4 in the morning with a friend (S). The night was warm and I felt strong. We drove to his place, stopping on the way for food (him) and some fresh air (me). In his dark bedroom, just before sunrise, he held me in his arms, gently investigated what's happening to me lately. Eventually he said: "The crucial question is, what do you want?". I didn't know how to answer him.
Later that morning I drove myself home. 30 minutes drive of alone time in the car. On the way I asked myself: "Who am I?", and realized that I don't know the answer to that question either. These days, I'm a woman-of-power with no sense of self or knowledge of her core will.
Writing this down now makes me feel like I should be panicking, but I'm not. I'm accepting what's happening to me. Embracing it. I've done some very serious magical work. I walked through fire and it changed me into something new, something that I've never been or known before. I'm learning my new shape now. It's going to take some time.
At work things are better. I don't feel trapped there anymore. I'm even beginning to enjoy my projects again. It helps that a couple of the new employees are my age, and have become good friends. It helps that certain aggravating people left, and that there's always the option to put a binding spell on the operations manager.
The rest of my day involves, well, pleasure. I guess the word is pleasure. I only do what makes me feel good. Really good. I run, walk, exercise, swim, dance, lie on the grass and listen to the birds. I play with clothes, shoes and make up. Walking the fine line between looking damn good and becoming a fashion victim makes me giggle. I still go out every day. I try new things that last year I wouldn't have believed could be fun for me (like club-hopping, or spending an entire day at the beach, without a book).
I'm discovering pleasure. The wild in me. Every day before bedtime I watch a movie or an episode of Angel (cause I'm done with Buffy). It's like a sweet tranquilizer. Then I dream. I either dream about myself as a little girl (small girl, long stubborn hair, wild eyes, shy smile, too intelligent for her own good) or about T. He's one of the new people at work. A friend. He awakens the animal instinct in me.
I suppose that some of the things I do may not look pleasurable at first glance (long gym hours, for example, or being very careful about what I eat), but the everyday results of these choices give me pleasure. I enjoy feeling strong and healthy (finally), and most of the time, I like looking in the mirror. It's no small thing.
I'm happy. I've no idea who I am, where I'm headed or what to do with my life, but I'm happy. Sometimes I miss companionship, but it's over fast. I have friends and family, so if I need a hug, I can get myself one. I like being surrounded by people. I like the fast-paced life style. I like being so busy that I don't have time to be wistful or lonely, but not busy enough to feel stressed or trapped.
I've practically stopped writing, updating my website, painting, drawing, crafting, and reading. It's all so.. boring. Political work and volunteering in the community is probably the only "serious" thing that I still do. Finishing the last Harry Potter was a struggle. Started "The Omnivore's Dilemma" a while ago, and really, I wish the information could just find its way to my head without me having to deal with printed text. I want to know what the book says. Honestly, I do. I just don't want to read it. Don't know if this is a phase of part of my new and transformed shape. Will have to wait and see.
I journal a lot, and that is good. Keeping a diary has always been my way to maintain sanity. Verbalizing emotions makes it easier to make healthy and reasonable choices. Or unreasonable yet reasoned pleasurable ones. And that's okay too.
Who I am, what I want, and what's my work. These are all questions that will have to be answered. But not today. Today I go dancing. I think it will be fun. I get to wear my new skirt.
(Thank you droops and pjvj for nudging me about updating. I'm not much for writing these days, but I catch up on LJ once or twice a week.)
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August 16th, 2007
04:57 pm - They Say I look Great. Considering.
Sometimes I forget. I cast spells on full parking lots to remind myself. Driving to town, or to the hottest club in the Northern Israeli Scene, I conjure a parking space in the most unprobable and most desirable place. When I arrive at the destination and the spot is all available and waiting for me, I remember. I'm not a party girl. I'm a witch, and I have power.
But I am. A party girl. This is my life now. This is what I do. This is what I want to not miss out before I die. The music. The alcohol. The men. The thrill. Dancing until my feet ache and I'm forced to remove my shoes.
Not the drugs though. Club drugs scare me. They open doors that I'd rather keep locked. Sweet shiny keys. No, no. No liquid love for me. I don't listen to the voices from other worlds anymore. I turn up the volume so I can't hear the whispers. And I dance, dance, dance to banish all the demons. If Aphrodite comes knocking, do tell the psycho bitch that as far as I'm concerned, she owes me big.
Most of the time, though, I don't think about Aphrodite. Nor do I think about any god on Earth. I don't think about my future either, or about going to bed alone every night. I don't think about wasting my life, and I don't think about dying.
I dance.
I go out to breakfast in chic cafes. I go out to dinner in good restaurants. I go out dancing. I go out drinking margaritas at the beach. I go to barbeque parties, pool parties and spa parties. I am surrounded by people. Friends. Family. Strangers. I download music. So much music. Too much music for my hard drives to take. Not with all those Buffy episodes there. I work and my boss says I'm doing fine. I don't want to do fine. I just want to use my lunch break to go to the gym. 90 minutes of cardio. 30 minutes of weight lifting. Every day. Every day I die on the treadmill and come back to life again. I go back to the office in the afternoon, all toned and showered, and everybody stare.
They say I look great. Under the circumstances. For my age. Considering. Considering I'm aging, dying, withering away, losing another match in the chess game of the middle class. They ask me about research and languages to make conversation. It's hard for them to swallow that I don't do research and languages anymore. That I do music and alcohol and dancing the nights away. Too many years I've been over-weight, properly dressed, buried under heaps of books, playing by the rules. Whose rules? I used to know, once upon a time. Now my books are buried under heaps of clothes and shoes. There are new rules. Rules of forgetfulness.
Three weeks ago I launched the village's official website. Two weeks ago I helped producing a huge summer event for the local youth. Two days ago I was elected to the Alliance Committee of the local council with the cities of Atlanta and St. Louis. Big job, they say. Good job, they say. Jump, they say. But I don't jump. I dance. My life is spinning fast, fast, faster.
Movement is the name of the new game. The rules are strength, agility, resilience, speed. The rules are made of muscle and heartbeats.
Words don't matter. I don't want to talk. I don't want to be like those people who keep talk-talk-talking about magic and none of their spells works. Or like the people who keep talk-talk-talking about world politics and don't have money for rent. I want to do things with my hands, with my arms, with my feet and legs. I want to make a difference with my body, and so I dance. Other people can be all talk. I will be all dance.
Before I die. Before my womb shrivels. Before the wrinkles and the white hair. Before my bones become too crisp.
And if Aphrodite comes knocking, do tell the psycho bitch that she owes me big.
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July 22nd, 2007
02:58 pm - The Passion of the Christ
I picked up Mel Gibson's The Passion of the Christ last week, expecting a cinematique masterpiece. I thought it would be as stirring and spactacular as Apocalypto, or at least as touching and hopeful as Signs. Instead, I found myself watching a farse.
It started with the language. See, I speak both old and modern Aramaic. In addition, as many of you know, Hebrew is my native tongue. There was no way the actors in the movie could convince me that they're sounding a language they actually speak, or understanding their own prayers. The strange accent was forgivable. The grammatical errors less so. But the worst was the pronunciation. The actors didn't utter words. They stuttered syllables, occasionally spewing two at a time. Asif-sy-lla-b-les-a-nd-not-wo-rdshav-e-nop-ause-s-be-tweenthem. It was horrible.
Also, Jesus Christ? Looks and speaks like a drug-addict, lunatic cult leader. Reminded me of David Koresh. In the first fifteen minutes of the movie I half-expected him to pull out a big gun and force the apostles to commit suicide. I was embarassed for Christ to be portrayed this way, and I don't even believe in him.
But it took me almost an hour to figure out what's really off about the movie. It was the Jews. They didn't look like Jews. They didn't talk like Jews. They didn't behave like Jews. And believe me, I know Jews. I especially know Middle-Eastern Jews, being one myself, and having 15 years of education in the history, religion, culture and languages of Jews in the Levant and Mesopotamia.
With the exception of The Virgin and Mary Magdalene, all Jewish civilians in the movie looked like they've escaped from a home for the mentally-retarded. But maybe by saying this I'm doing a great injustice to the many wonderful developmentally-disable people out there, including my youngest sister. I can't call the Jews in "The Passion" retarded. I can't even call the "animals". That would be unfair to animals. No, the Jews in this movie are monsters. Large, ugly, senseless creatures, devoid of human sense or sensibility.
When I noticed that, I realized that I should be grateful to Mel Gibson for doing "The Passion".
Being the non-paranoid person that I am - I never bothered to look into any of the classical anti Semitic works. I learned about "The Protocols of the Elders of Zion" in high school, for example, but didn't actually read them. There were so many good, interesting books out there to read. Books about life and love. Books about long journeys, great struggles and bitter victories. Why should I bother with an old, unrealistic, untrue, and boring booklet complied by a bunch of murder-inciting, racist haters? This is what I thought to myself, for years.
It took a Hollywood production to catch my attention, and make me look into the eyes of the haters.
Not pretty.
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July 13th, 2007
09:21 pm - Tonight I'll Wear Pigtails
I'm focused on my body these days. Still in recovery mode. Tuesday was tough. Had to go to a funeral and it threw me off balance again. Was at noon. Harsh Israeli sun, no shade, and I didn't wear a hat. Sun glasses were not enough, and all the water I drank could not prevent the splitting headache that lasted 48 hours.
But I still eat well, exercise 5 times a week, and try to be nice to my body. Sleep patterns are improving. Work stress remains the main unsolved issue. It ages me, and makes me sick, and I'm not sure at all that my other healthy habits are enough to contradict that. I need a new career. I definitely do.
And wear sunscreen more often.
And meet fabulous people.
Oh, oh, and learn to roller blade.
Tonight I'm going out dancing with my friends, first time in 6 weeks. I hope it isn't a mistake, and that I won't be too exhausted by the end of the night.
These are the things that make me happy: great music, dancing, funny books, birds, butterflies, Buffy the Vampire Slayer, men with strong arms and toned abs, lying on the lawn at dusk and watching the sky, swimming, fresh fruit, good coffee, wearing pigtails.
These are the things that don't make me very happy: work, feeling unwell, too much body fat and not enough muscle tone, mean people.
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June 30th, 2007
02:52 pm - 2007 Books: May I
17) The God Delusion – Richard Dawkins. A silly and hateful propaganda book from an atheist who has no understanding of humans, let alone religion or divinity. Was recommended to me by atheist friends who for some unfathomable reason find the author brilliant. Should have known better than to waste my time on this.
18) Nine Tomorrows – Isaac Asimov. A fine collection of short stories, most of them amusing in the usual Asimov manner. I especially liked Profession, The Gentle Vultures, and The Feeling of Power.
19) Interview with the Vampire – Anne Rice. The story of an American vampire in 18th century Louisiana. Too many words, too little story.
20) Fast Food Nation – Eric Schlosser. An alarming and eye-opening journey into the meat industry in the U.S. Pressed most of my eww buttons. Also, I don't like the thought that these kind of methods will be (or already are) exported to my country as well.
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June 21st, 2007
01:13 am - When I Die, They Will Bury Me
This is home. This village. The cypresses and olive trees. The sole eucalyptus by the main road. The people. Mainly the people.
My brother had an accident today. He drives a semi-trailer truck, which was hit by a bus. The bus driver apparently doesn't care much for right of way. My brother hurt his leg, and broke his right arm. The semi-trailer's lost, crashed beyond repair. Not that my brother would have been able to drive it. Three months with a cast.
I spent most of the day at the hospital with my sister. We took care of our brother, while people from our village took care of everything else: the ambulance, the police, the insurance company, the towing service, the spreading of the gossip.
I don't entirely take this behavior for granted. I've seen enough of the world to know how other people live. But I was born and raised in this village. I learned to expect helpfulness from my neighbors. I grew up knowing - not believing - *knowing* that my neighbors will always be there in good and bad times.
(When my father was sick, they helped. When he died, and all my family got paralyzed with grief, they buried him. Afterwards they helped more. Rememebering this usually kills my occasional urge to move someplace else.)
Perhaps this is also why it's so hard for me to accept my recent bad experiences with Reclaiming. Hostility from people who are supposed to be part of my community doesn't naturally occur to me. I subconsciously expect good deeds. Not good intentions. Deeds. Intentions don't matter. Over here, neighbors that are upset with you for whatever reason will still help you. They may not smile at you, but they'll definitely drive you around, for example.
Basically, if I don't see good *deeds* within a group, I don't feel that it's a community. I may try to rationalize that it is for a dozen good reasons, but my stomach will scream otherwise, and my heart will drive me away.)
I want to never stop doing good deeds.
I know, I'm lucky to be living where I do. This is home. The cypresses, the olive trees, the crows. The people. Mainly the people.
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June 20th, 2007
03:13 am - 3 am knows all my secrets
I can't sleep. Well, I did sleep, but coughing woke me up. Instead of trying to close my eyes again, I got up and cast two spells. 3 am is such a lovely time for magic. 3 am knows all my secrets. It's the most dreadful of all hours. All demons are awake, and the spirits of the land are listening.
I really had thought that the relationship (or whatever it was) with Z had taught me a lesson. It seems, though, that I've substituted an unhealthy obsession for unkindly men with an unhealthy obsession for a spiritual fad.
To hell with modern Paganism.
There, I've said it. The past months have been a slow and sobering awakening. I've retreated into my shell, and eventually become too sick to come out of it. Yay me, sporting an especially nasty viral infection to ward off the evil I allowed into my home.
Well, I shall confront and expel all evil.
By hiding under the blankets, mostly, and coughing myself to death. But this afternoon, I read something that ended with "hail the gods", and found myself mumbling "fuck the gods".
Did you know, local folk witchcraft has no gods. There are spirits and demons and vampires of all sorts, but no gods. Kind of like in Buffy's world. Magic isn't about religion. Isn't that hysterical.
It's all been so hysterical. In less than six months, I was slandered and vilified. My privacy was compromised. My family was harrassed. My business has been damaged. Oh yes, and my money was stolen.
I'm not even angry. Not even with myself. Just plain disgusted.
And I don't want to come out of my shell. I just want to stop coughing, and my throat to stop aching, and my eyes to not be so red anymore. I want to steep myself in magic until I become the most powerful witch that's ever lived in this region. At least.
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June 15th, 2007
08:22 am - Yay Paracetamol
Life's pretty much on hold. I'm not as sick as I were at the beginning, but still sick. Too sick to do what I normally do. I can't go to work (though I've stopped by a couple of times to do urgent things). I can't go to the gym. No going out with friends. Definitely no going out dancing or clubbing. Also, I've been losing card-reading business because I haven't been able to answer the phone (no voice, and my throat hurts too much to even attempt opening my mouth).
I'm mostly tired. Tired of aching and dealing and taking good care of myself only to wake up to another day of pain. I'm also not scientifically amused anymore by how aggressive the new flu viruses have become. (Doctor says I'm lucky to be young, healthy and strong for generally eating well and exercising regularly. Otherwise, this thing could have killed me. Apparently it had already killed a couple of old people last winter. Ugh.)
I'm a bit concerned about the amount of medicine I'm consuming. I'm practically high on stuff like paracetamol, guaiphenesin, dextromethorphan, chlorpheniramine maleate and pseudoephedrine. So much for avoiding chemicals in my food.
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June 10th, 2007
11:47 pm - Body Madness
In other news, I'm still sick. Finally broke down today and went to see my doctor. He prescribed something for my burning eyes, but not much he can do against flu viruses. And so I'm coughing and wheezing, with my throat that's still sore. Ouchies, etc.
And the thing that bugs me the most? That I've missed 5 days of workout at the gym, and I'm likely to miss at least 3-4 more.
I'm thinking about this and wondering if I haven't crossed the fine line between body-awareness and body-madness. I've been trying to convince myself that healing is more important right now than becoming physically stronger, but, erm, I actually *dreamed* of the gym machines last night.
Can one become addicted to physical exercise?
I miss being healthy.
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11:22 pm - Witchcamp to Darfur. By-Gones.
So, it turns out I didn't have to make the decision. Witchcamp was cancelled.
When I get my money back, I'm giving it all to charity. Not that there'll be much left after they deduct the huge "deposit". I don't entirely understand why they won't return "deposits" since it's them that broke the deal, not the campers/payers. Also, well, what do they need the money for now anyway.
But never mind. By-gones. The whole thing reeks of "forbidden money", as we say in these parts (that is, money that was involved in whatever unclean business, and will bring no blessing or prosperity unless given to the poor). I'm thinking the victims in Darfur. Perhaps I could buy them a meal or two.
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June 8th, 2007
02:12 am - Contemplating Food
More on the body-awareness front, I'm contemplating the concept of eating healthy, looking more closely at the regulary food stuffs I buy/eat.
I'm usually good at this. I mostly eat fruit, vegetables, potatoes, a little rice, a little bread, some lentils and bean, much dairy, very little eggs, a little fresh chicken. I mostly eat food that either I or my mother cooked from scratch. (With the exception of a bi-monthly restaurant visit with my friends). Also, I hardly eat any snacks, candy, chips, etc. Nor do I drink soda or industrial juices. Cakes and cookies only if they're home-baked, but not something I'm crazy about anyway.
But there are still many some things to improve, especially in the processed food area.
FOOD VICES THAT SIMPLY HAVE TO GO
Processed (fried, frozen) chicken breasts. They're delicious, they're the best processed product in the Israeli market, and they're still the worst thing that I do to my body. Also, it doesn't help that making them takes 3.5 minutes, as opposed to the 25 minutes it takes to clean, prepare and grill a fresh chicken breast. But they have to go. Processed food is bad, and processed meat is the worst. Bye-bye.
Diet coke. Started drinking this a couple of months ago to fight hunger. The food at work is too horrible to contemplate, and at the time I didn't find time in the mornings to pack my own food for work. But really, poor excuse. Even an apple or a peach would do. This chemical liquid doesn't even taste good. (And I do have a bottle of fresh water at work, but it doesn't help much when my stomach wants food.)
Sweetened yogurts. Especially the low-calorie, low-fat, artificially-sweetened ones. They make my stomach unhappy. Also, it's silly to consume dairy without some fat. None of the calcium or other goodies will be absorbed in my body without at least 3-4% fat. The added chemicals, of course, have no such problem. Ugh. If I have these yogurts, it's because there's nothing else to eat at work (they're available at a vending machine on the first floor, along with other food hazards). Easily solved if I bring my lunch with me, or if I don't act lazy, and buy food from the local grocery shop on my lunch break.
Mayonnaise. I rarely have any (and when I do, it's usually in a potato salad), but given my sensitivity to eggs, not a very good idea.
Energy bars. Of the granola, nuts and dried fruit variation. It totally bugs me that these are sold as "healthy" snacks. They're so not. I've stopped buying them in the past couple of months, but need a reminder not to fall into that habit again. It's not a "health bar" just because the package says so. (Looking at the ingredients list makes me queasy. Major eww. Might as well have some good old milk chocolate.)
Red meat. Not because it's not healthy. Well, it may be unhealthy, or it may not be. I'm not sure, since science seems to not have made up its mind yet. It's just that having this meat makes me feel bad (even it it's fresh, local and/or organic, and well-cooked...). It may look good, but it's so not for me. I'm usually good at remembering this, but sometimes barbeque parties fanfare confuses me. So, yes, reminder.
FOOD VICES TO MANAGE
Coffee. I usually have one cup at work, and 2-3 more at home. Want to reduce this to 1 cup at home, before I get to work.
Alcohol. I have some every Friday when I go out (2-3 drinks, usually, since I don't drive), sometimes at weddings (maybe 3-4 times a year), and on rare occasions at home (once every two months?). Usually not a big issue for me, but need to pay attention, obviously, especially since I prefer the not so healthy alcohol types (tequila, vodka, wine coolers, various cocktails). I do like fruity white wines and merlot, but I very rarely have any.
Fried chicken (home-made). My mother makes that at least twice a week. It's not entirely unhealthy (as it's made from scratch, and from the freshest materials), but it's still fried food, and the calorie and fat toll is often too high. Want to reduce consumption to one piece a day (on the day that this is lunch, that is).
French Fries. Always home-made (the processed/fast-food type make me go eww), but again, too many calories. I don't want to give this up entirely, especially if I come home starved from work and that's all the food there is, and I'm not up for cooking. Want to control amounts, and make sure I always have fresh vegetables to fill me up, and go with the little fries that I do eat.
Lindt Pistachio. Perhaps the worst of my "not giving them up" vices. Lindt is supposed to be a quality swiss chocolate producer, but this specific bar is too processed to be called quality. And I love it. It's orgasmic. Well. Better experience this particular pleasure only in dire, emergency circumstances. Less frequently than once a month, at least.
I'm actually quite picky about food. There are many things I just won't eat. Processed and industrial food. Junk food. Food from a non-reputable restaurant. Leftovers from the fridge. Any cooked food that spent time in the fridge, or worse, in the freezer. I also don't eat fish, red meat, or anything with/from soy (ew). On the fruit and vegetable front no okra, mango, persimmon, vine leaves, celery, parsley or lettuce. (Trying to work throught the fish and lettuce issues, though. Tuna fish and interesting vinaigrettes be my saviors.)
But - I do also love food. I love to eat, I love to cook, and I'm learning to like baking as well. What I want is to eat the healthiest and most delicious stuff within my budget.
I recognize that I'm a typical 21st century person with a complex relationship with food. I'd like to simplify that, but not sure it's completely possible in a fast-food and processed-food world. Not as long as the term "food" includes boxes of industrial products that came from all over the world, and affected the lives of so many people I've never met. So I'll just stick to eating simpler.
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June 5th, 2007
08:29 pm - Ouchies. Much Ouchies.
I was a bit under the weather yesterday, and made the grave mistake of going to the gym in the afternoon. After 10 minutes on the treadmill, I realized my body wasn't up for any work. Came home, took a hot shower, and crawled into bed.
Chills, fever, nausea, muscle aches. Some virus really got me this time. Ouch.
This morning I didn't even have the energy to call in sick. Got out of bed around eleven. My boss called around noon to check on me. Will probably not go to work tomorrow
either (bad thing, I have much work for which the deadline is the end of the week.)
I ate a peach that calmed down the nausea, somewhat. Can't eat anything else, though. The thought of food makes me queasy. Except maybe fruit, but walking to the kitchen is too much effort. Only want to sleep.
I need a stronger immune system, damn it.
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June 4th, 2007
11:55 am - Folk Witches Do Differently, I Guess
A comment by rosewelsh reminded me the major differences beween the Neo Pagan approach, and my practice of folk witchcraft.
Pagan practice is very meditation-oriented. There's a strong emphasis on personal development, and on learning new things through spiritual practices. If you encounter spirits, you're supposed to try to learn something from them (Or pay attention that they might hinder your learning process by telling you "false" things).
Folk witchcraft, on the other hand, is concerned with the well being of living people. If you encounter spirits, and they talk to you, you're supposed to listen very very carefully to what they say - be it truth or lies. Not because the spirits have something spiritual to teach you, but because ignoring spirits will anger them, and make them hurt you.
There are no meditation practices in folk withcraft. There aren't any exercises, essay assignments, or classes. The learning process of folk witchcraft... well.. it mostly involves being part of the community and wanting to take that role. (The becoming a witch process involves a recognition from other people. You're not a witch unless the community acknowledges that you're a witch, and comes to you for magical aid).
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May 24th, 2007
12:21 pm - Web Design Projects Notes to Self
T's website - have finally given up on Wordpress. I liked the idea of access to multiple administrators but building complex non-chronological sites with it proved impossible. Uninstalled everything today and installed Joomla. Am not entirely sure that this is the right solution, but will play with it a bit. This whole project is making me want to bite a raw lemon. What should have been easy is dragging for so long because of silly technical problems. What I really want is to design this fabulous template with handwritten css and html. Can't though because the end users don't know much about web design. How will they upload stuff in the future if I do basic css/html? Maybe I could try a complete separation between the content and the design, but wouldn't that create a non-inspiring look? Not sure. Gods above, I hate CMS.
Village Official Website - I finally chose a template. Customized it. What I basically need now is to upload content, which I don't have. Have to make many phone calls and look in multiple places to get said content, and am not motivated to do so (mainly because my mind's occupied with the industrial zone plan. I don't want to talk to these people about websites. I want to talk to them about the plan!). But here at least there's good progress and I might even finish this week.
Portfolio - Need to scan my artwork. Don't have a scanner, though. I gave my home scanner to my brother long time ago, and the scanner at work has a hideous quality. Don't know how to proceed with this one.
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10:22 am - I'm Mostly Offline
My modem at home died, and the technician replacing it will only arrive on Sunday morning. This basically means that I won't be online much in the next few days. Since the (Israeli) weekend starts this afternoon, I won't be able to check mail and messages from work either.
As a side note, it's interesting how the thought of living without home internet for a couple of days terrifies me. I don't own a television set, so the silence created by the lack of net connection is not something I'm used to. Music doesn't help, because music doesn't involve constant human chatter (whether as sounds or as words on screen). When did I start needing constant human chatter to not feel alone? Hah.
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May 22nd, 2007
06:05 pm - 2006 Movies: May-December III
36) High Fidelity, Stephen Frears, UK/USA, 2000. A London music shop owner is breaking up with his girlfriend. Nice. I liked the book better.
37) If Only, Gil Junger, USA/UK, 2004. An unappreciative guy loses his beautiful and splendid girlfriend in an accident, but has a chance to relive the past and change things. Sweet romantic movie, and Jennifer Love Hewitt was not even irritating.
38) Monster's Ball, Marc Forester, USA, 2001. A black woman whose husband was executed for murder falls in love with his white prison guard. Was a bit too violent and realistic for me. (Though, really, am not sure how realistic as opposed to just being vulgar. Don't know much about Southern American culture).
39) Shrek 2 , Andrew Adamson, USA, 2004. Prince Charming and his mother the Fairy Godmother try to separate Fiona and Shrek. Funny and brilliant, and I'll be ever thankful to Shahar who made me watch the first Shrek, even though it's animated (I don't watch animation, as a general rule).
40) Vera Drake, Mike Leigh, UK / France / New Zealand, 2004. An extremely realistic film about a lady performing illegal abortions for free in 1950's Britain. Stunningly thought-provoking. Also, an astonishing cinematique creation.
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