| | Subject: | In case you didn't know... | | Time: | 11:11 am |
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| Yesterday was my birthday, and my wife would like to remind the free world that I am both white and nerdy (and have a penchant for making cats dance for their kibble).
| comments: Leave a comment   |
| | Subject: | This one's for Palin | | Time: | 09:19 pm |
|
| Main Entry:
1mav·er·ick
Pronunciation:
\ˈmav-rik, ˈma-və-\
Function:
noun
Etymology:
Samuel A. Maverick †1870 American pioneer who did not brand his calves
Date:
1867
1: an unbranded range animal ; especially : a motherless calf
2: an independent individual who does not go along with a group or party
Wait... so how exactly can you be part of a 'Team of Mavericks'? | | comments: 1 comment or Leave a comment |
| | Subject: | Propagating the Tomfoolery | | Time: | 09:15 pm |
|
| So... Tania made her first Harry Potter music video on YouTube. It's... original. I won't say any more because I know some of you won't like the song she chose, but it's one of my favorites. And yes, before you ask, it does have something to do with singing vegetables...
| | comments: Leave a comment |
| | Subject: | Code for a Presidential Debate | | Time: | 11:02 am |
|
| My apologies to the non-coders...but can the coders guess which languages are dear to my heart?
BEGIN SUB(DEBATE);
DO:
Referee_Suggested_Question$(Round);
Candidate_A_Completely_Off_Topic_Answer_Based_Upon_Current_Events$(Round);
Candidate_B_Completely_Off_Topic_Answer_Based_Upon_Current_Events$(Round);
Candidate_A_Attack_On_Candidate_B_Based_Upon_Pseudo_Facts$(Round);
// REM Optional_Dismissal_Of_Preceding_Attack_If_Not_Completely_Ignored$(Round);
Candidate_B_Attack_On_Candidate_A_Based_Upon_Pseudo_Facts$(Round);
// REM Optional_Dismissal_Of_Preceding_Attack_If_Not_Completely_Ignored$(Round);
Candidate_A_Time_Stressed_Attack_On_Candidate_B_Based_Upon_Pseudo_Facts$(Round);
// REM Optional_Dismissal_Of_Preceding_Attack_If_Not_Completely_Ignored$(Round);
Candidate_B_Time_Stressed_Attack_On_Candidate_A_Based_Upon_Pseudo_Facts$(Round);
// REM Optional_Dismissal_Of_Preceding_Attack_If_Not_Completely_Ignored$(Round);
Referee_Attempt_To_Maintain_Some_Semblance_Of_Order$(Round);
Candidate_A_Interruption_Of_Referree_And_Or_Candidate_B_For_More_Pseudo_Facts$(Round);
// REM Optional_Off-Topic_Last_Minute_Return_To_Talking_Points_If_Completely_Lost$(Round);
Candidate_B_Interruption_Of_Referree_And_Or_Candidate_A_For_More_Pseudo_Facts$(Round);
// REM Optional_Off-Topic_Last_Minute_Return_To_Talking_Points_If_Completely_Lost$(Round);
Round = Round + 1
LOOP UNTIL ACCUSATION = SOCIALISM OR ACCUSATION = UNTIMELY SUPPORT OF IRAQ WAR
END SUB(DEBATE); | | comments: Leave a comment |
| | Subject: | Nigeran Scammer Drop-Out... | | Time: | 05:24 pm |
|
| This is undoubtedly the worst Nigerian scam letter I've ever received. If anyone wants to spam or heckle him, feel free.
***
Sequel to your non response of our earlier letter to you on behalf of the Trustees and Executors to the Will of our late client. I wish to notify you that you were listed as a beneficiary to the total sum of £5,500, 000.00GBP(Five million Five Hundred Thousand British Pounds) in the codicil and last testament of the deceased.
Until his death he was a major shareholder in big companies, which include textile and construction companies. He was a very great hilanthropist during his lifetime. He died on 9th January 2004 at the age of 68. He was buried on the 3rd of February.
Even though he was a foreigner living and working here requested before his death that he be buried here in his words, "I regard here as My home and the people as my people" We therefore reckoned that you can receive this funds as you are qualified by your identity.
All the legal papers will be processed on your response. In your acceptance of this deal acceptance of this deal, we request that you kindly forward any proof of identity of yours, your current telephone and fax numbers and forwarding address to enable us file necessary documents at our high court probate division for the release of this sum of money to you.
For More Details, your reply should be sent to: barristerholtjamie101@googlemail.com
Barrister Jamie Holt. | | comments: Leave a comment |
| | Subject: | Random Thoughts on Oblivion | | Time: | 09:29 pm |
|
| That's *Elder Scrolls* Oblivion, for the XBOX 360, which has currently stolen around 100 hours of my life away. I'm nearly done all of the quests except for the expansion (which I hope to pick up on ebay soon), and thought it would be amusing to share my random thoughts from during the series, twitter-style.
1. Ooh, invisibility spell... plus fist-fighting skills... I can go invisible, punch you in the face, then go invisible again and keep repeating it until you die? I've found a new outlet for stress relief!
2. This orc's repeated mis-use of big words is definitely ripping on G.W...
3. Wait... you're making me the leader of the Fighter's Guild? AND the the leader of the Mage's Guild? Did you know I'm also the head of the Assassin's and Thieve's Guilds? Are you really ok with that? Exactly what kind of background checks do you run before you recruit?
4. Why do most of the quests I perform for the 'gods' of this world involve starting battles and getting people to kill each other or just create general chaos for their amusement? Are ALL the game designers that cynical and atheistic?
5. I've mastered and levelled up almost every skill almost as high as they possibly can go... so why are some enemies just as hard? DAMN YOU SCALABLE DIFFICULTY SYSTEM!!!
6. I have nearly 1 million gold. Why can I only invest 500 in your store? Can't I just BUY your store? Shouldn't I be able to BUY you? Why can I only own 1 house per town? Lazy programmers...
7. Out-running and casting flame spells to set deer on fire should NOT be this fun.
8. Ok there Bandit, me-bucko... I just killed your 5 friends with nary a scratch on me. Shouldn't you stop saying random taunts like 'you call THAT fighting?' about now?
9. My horse was just knocked unconcious by an ogre and is rolling downhill at a fast clip. I'm probably a terrible person for laughing and should go kill the ogre and heal the horse.
10. Hmm... I just healed the horse and realized he had two arrows in him back from who knows when. NOW I feel bad...
11. But... I wonder if I can store arrows in the horse by shooting them into him and healing him... that might save carrying weight on my character...
12. I miss that kid who followed me around for a few hours, helpfully holding a torch and saying how awesome I am for becoming the Champion of the Arena. I probably shouldn't have lost him in the woods during that mountain lion attack, but who knew he wouldn't come back?
13. Great, the boss is bugged and not taking any damage from me... Wait, I'll just take advantage of yet ANOTHER bug and get him to drown underwater while trying to kill me! Um... score?
14. If Patrick Stewart voices the Emperor... and Sean Bean voices his son... would Carrie Fisher have voiced his wife if she were in the game? | | comments: Leave a comment |
| | Subject: | Sesame Street... Censored? | | Time: | 11:17 pm |
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| I'll never hear this song the same way ever again. Part of my childhood just died... laughing.
| | comments: 1 comment or Leave a comment |
| | Subject: | There is a God. | | Time: | 08:17 pm |
|
|
"Command & Conquer: Red Alert 3 features the casting likes of Jenny McCarthy, JK Simmons, George Takei, Tim Curry, Peter Stormare, Kelly Hu, Gina Carano and Gemma Atkinson"
I just downloaded the trailer on XBOX Live. It's twoo, it's twoo! *Ahem*, Sorry. Do you know just how awesome this is? I've played C&C (and the spinoff parallel-world series Red Alert) since the beginning, when Keri Wuhrer played the Commando (Commandess?) unit, Tania. George Takei (Sulu, duh) is enough to sell me on the new game alone. Tim Curry with a terrible Russian accent is enough to sell me all over again. Jenny McCarthy hotting up the role of Tania is... probably a good thing, but I feel dirty just typing her name. Did one JK Simmons look familiar? He just played Juno's Dad in 'Juno', as well as a recurring role as the Chief of the Daily Chronicle in the Spiderman trilogy.
And is it just me, or it is awesome in and of itself that the C&C: Red Alert games always have Einstein as a recurring character inventing time travel? | | comments: Leave a comment |
| | Subject: | Engrish. | | Time: | 10:53 am |
|
| Another reason to hire a native translator before you get your translated sign printed...
 | | comments: Leave a comment |
| | Subject: | Dead Milkmen - Stuart | | Time: | 12:24 pm |
|
| Just in case you've never seen this music video or heard this song... because you should.
| | comments: 1 comment or Leave a comment |
| | Subject: | Surgery Successful. Recliner Uncomfortable. Patrons Exhausted. | | Time: | 01:16 pm |
|
| | The surgery went well. I was able to spend the night in Tania's room in a reclining hospital chair with some pillows, a sheet and a blanket kindly lent me by one of the nice nurses at Union Memorial Hospital in Baltimore, MD. I didn't get more than a few hours of sleep, but Tania certainly felt better having me there to take care of her instead of the nurses, who were nice, but not quite family. We watched the sun rise from the 8th floor window of our room, something that Tania has wanted to do together ever since we were married since she's rarely able to get out of bed before dawn (and I don't do it when I don't have to). We were released this morning around 9AM, home around 10:30AM, and I was out locating a local pharmacy that both accepted MediCare and had her pain medication in stock since she needed it by 11:00AM. The pain seems to be hitting her harder today due to the nerve block wearing off completely, and she's taking a nap in our room right now as I try to placate our cats. The feline population is in a revolt due to lack of attention the past few days. | | comments: 2 comments or Leave a comment |
| | Subject: | Tania @ Hospital 8:44AM | | Time: | 08:43 am |
|
| Tania and I got here around 6:00AM and have gone through the customary meetings with the check-in staff, the anesthesiologist (two actually), the nurse assigned to us, and the surgeon. Tania just went in for surgery a few minutes ago, and I wandered off to find the only wireless access open to the public, here in the little library internet access room. They have a room reserved for her to stay the night, depending on her pain levels later after the nerve block and light anesthesia have worn off. So we may be home tonight, or she may not be released until sometime tomorrow and I'll be spending the night in Catonsville or Baltimore with Adam or Martin. Surgery is expected to last about 2 hours, then the surgeon will speak to me about the results and I'll be able to see her after about another hour.
I'll post more if I have time to get back here later, or if I end up staying with Adam or Martin and leeching their access. | | comments: 1 comment or Leave a comment |
| | Subject: | Diablo 3 - Soul going bye bye yet again... | | Time: | 11:26 am |
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| After countless hoaxes over the past few empty years of my life (Blizzard-ly speaking, of course), Diablo 3 has finally been announced. And here I thought I'd lost Blizzard to that cheap whore, Warcraft for good. Of course, being that it's been slashdotted (and that it's Diablo 3 announced, for crying out loud), you probably won't be able to load this link very well for awhile. Even so, here it is:
http://www.blizzard.com/diablo3/
Actually, if you want some info on the game and a far better chance of it loading, try this:
http://www.blizzard.com/diablo3/faq/ | | comments: Leave a comment |
| | Subject: | The Vortex of Bitterness has Emerged | | Time: | 05:11 pm |
|
| My sister is no longer possessed with the baby within. It has been expelled and she is a much nicer, albeit drugged person now.
Since the subject of this post means nothing to almost all of you, I'll explain: my sister was being particularly nasty and sarcastic at a recent family dinner, so I commented that it didn't seem as though she were pregnant with a baby, but with a vortex of bitterness. Saying that would probably make me a bad person if everyone present didn't find it quite so funny and seem to breathe a collective sigh of relief that someone had chastised her for her behavior. | | comments: 1 comment or Leave a comment |
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