I made these all by myself, even the stickers.

	Landspeeder coming for you Blurry, but fast
	Vrrm, whoosh.
	Powpowpow They shoot!
	Eat my dust The landspeeder shows you the wake.
	Repulsor units Look at that nice placement.

Miss Piggy is SO RUDE. She is mean to Kermit, and she hits people when she's upset. And if I know better, you'd think a grown muppet would know better. I told daddy a bunch of times that she was being rude, but he just kept laughing. Hmph.

Tomorrow, I get roller-skating lessons.  

 When we drive around in the car, daddy listens to news radio. Today we were doing emissions testing, so there was a lot of news radio. 

Today I learned that the president lives in a place called the white house. And I already knew that his name was George Bush. We don't like him. I want Obama to win!

Iraq Obama in '08!

(daddy says that I am getting my news mixed up, and Iraq is a place and Barack is a person. BUT THEY RHYME! And I love rhymes. Like hair and chair. And stair.)

My daddy doesn't have hair on his head. I asked him why, and he said that he thought too much, and it all cooked off. But he has lots of hair! He has hair on his back, and on his arms, and on his tummy, and on his face, and today, during naptime, I realized that he has hair in his NOSE! That's so silly. Why does he have hair in his nose? How come?

I guess I will understand this when I am a daddy and turn into a wookie. Mommy is not a wookie. Kay is not a wookie. I am not a wookie now, but mommy says I will grow up to be one. Good. I like daddy-wookies.

Right now, my favorite music is the yellow CD with the red writing. Daddy calls it Manif lamancha.

So there's this song, and the lady says that she doesn't like her job, and I asked mommy why she didn't like her job, and mommy says it's because she gets no job satisfaction.

And I asked mommy what her job was, and mommy didn't answer.

How am I supposed to learn anything?

Last night, a dinosaur came by our house. He was a MEAN dinosaur. He was red, and he had mean red eyes. He was not a plant-eating dinosaur.

Then he walked on the railroad track and the choo-choo train ran him over, and then he was a flat, dead, red dinosaur.

Today, I had this conversation with daddy:

Me: Daddy, who turn on rain?
Daddy: I don't know, Baz.
Me: (thinks) God turn on rain!
Daddy: ...
Me: God! Turn off rain now!
Daddy: ...
Me: Daddy, where is God?
Daddy: Um, he's invisible.

Great. I'm supposed to maybe get things from some superhero who likes rain. Who designed this system?

Last night, I learned a new body part. You'd think I'd have most of them covered by now -- ears, nose, eyes, toes, elbow, knee, belly-button, all that. But last night, when I was getting on my pjs, I noticed something in the mirror. Naturally, I turned to an authority for an answer.

"Mommy, what dat?" I asked, pointing to the discoloration on my chest. "Dat mole?"
"No, honey. That's your nipple."
"Oh. What nipple for?"
"Um, well, for you, it doesn't do much." (I can sense that she's holding out.) But when little girls grow up to be mommies, they use their nipples to feed babies. Like I did with you and Kay."

What a rip-off! I don't see why I should be deprived of this ability. I told her so.

"Mommy, I want to feed babies with my nipple."
She kept pestering me about the pjs, taking an unreasonably long time fussing about my feet. Like I can't do it myself.
"Well, honey, if you decide to be a daddy, you can try."

Honestly, some people's parents. Where is the instant, baby-feeding gratification?

You know babies are stinky, right? Really stinky.

I know how to fix that. I have the power. I can drag things over so I can reach the Febreeze bottle.

She's sorta damp now, but less stinky.

The insiduous effects of relentlessly watching Season 1 of The Muppet Show (or as I like to call it, "The Muh-Muh So") have begun to take effect.

Today, I took my four-nails-and-a-hammer toy (and when you're a toddler with a hammer, everything looks like a nail). I put it in front of me, and I proceeded to hit the nails and say "Ow" at varying pitches.

Now if only I could get the white kitty "Sosie" to hold still long enough to see which ow she makes.

This morning, I hid from Daddy. He said, "Where's Bazling?" and I ran away, around the corner, and pressed myself up against the wall. Only he took a long time to find me, so I had to peek a couple times.

He's a very silly daddy. I managed to hide from him two or three times, even though I was giggling the whole time.

In other news, Grandmama and Grandpapa bought me an Easter outfit that isn't even a little bit girly. Whew! Of course, it's shorts, and the weather guys are calling for snow, but such is the price of fashion. It has very stylish braided leather suspenders.

Grandmama and grandpapa are out this week, and it takes a lot of energy to keep up with them. For instance, yesterday I took them to the park, and showed them how to play in the sand, and I let them stand around and look at me while I got a haircut, and then I stayed up until 10:30 entertaining them. I'm pooped!

Happily, I have a lot of car time scheduled today, so hopefully I can catch up on my naps.

I have to say, this being-the-center-of-the-world thing has it's points. It's good to be king.

Tomorrow mommy stays home from work, and we all get to go to the Children's Museum.

Oh, also, last night I gave daddy a zerbit. He laughed and laughed!

Mommy put me in a pretty dress this morning:


But I want to know, how much did she put in the therapy jar?

Hi! is my new word. It is even better than "uh-oh" and "Bye!". I use it all the time. Hi! Unless mommy wants me to say it on the phone. But I'll say it when she takes the phone away. Hi!

Daddy says that I'm going to have a little brother or sister. I don't see anybody yet, though. Mommy is kind of tired and cranky, and she doesn't feed me dinner so often.

But you know what I can say when someone is added to my family? HI!

Grandmama and Grandpapa are going to be here soon. I know just what I'll say to them. Hi! Yeah, I am ready for a world of people now. Maybe they'll even get a wave. After all, Grandpapa says he wants to go to the zoo with me. Then I could say Hi! to all the animals.

Have I mentioned how much fun bipedal locomotion is?

Also, I enjoy putting things in things. Block in the shoes. Spoon in the flour. Anything in the trash!

But my current latest and greatest new skill is kissing people.

Mmmmmmmmmmmmwah!

Of course, the people I kiss end up a little soggy, but it's a small price to pay for adorable Baz smooches, I think.

And I have added a new word to my vocabulary: Hi! I say it a lot. Sometimes at completely random moments. But frequently when I see people. Hi! Hi!

I feel yucky, and my tummy hurts, and I'm tired. Make it better!

On the bright side, I learned to clap. Haha!

On Friday, I got to go see new people. They have a dog. Dogs are bigger than cats, especially their tongues. The dog's tongue covered my whole face. I'm not sure I was in favor of that.

Strangely, Mommmy and Daddy left without me. Is that allowed?

I had a pretty good weekend, and slept well, and impressed everyone I came in contact with. Whew! All that being good completely wore me out. Yesterday I was cranky and didn't want to be left at daycare. Hrmph.

On the bright side, I got to play with another person my age. She didn't seem to want to be hit in the head with blocks, though. How odd.

All-in-all, I'm glad that the weekend is over and I get my mommy and daddy back.

Don't tell the tall ones, but I can actually walk. I'm just feigning lack of balance to lull them into a false sense of complacency. They think that I'm only just standing up against things.

In other news, I have perfected the pincer grasp. That means I can pick up one cheerio with my thumb and forefinger (left, of course). Now I don't have to mash food into my face to get it to my mouth, although I do still do that sometimes, to keep my hand in, so to speak.

Mommy has taken to playing a new game. I find it interesting. First, I'll carefully knock down the stacking toy, and then she'll stack it back up again and laugh. She's so silly. I wonder how many times she'd stack it up if I was willing to go on knocking it down?

Food is finally getting interesting, although it's still kind of frustrating. At least when I share my meal with them, we all eat better. But this "spoon" thing is only designed to annoy me. Where does the food go? How can I get more when I've sucked the existing food off?

Other than that, cruising around, charming the kids at my new daycare, and plotting to rid myself of my booties. It's a pretty good life.

Oh, except for the crib. Far too small. Don't they make cribs for bed imperialists? I just try to roll over, and WHACK, right into the bars. Man, that sucks. I want a king-size crib.

Last night I got to have dinner with the ladies. That Sydney has a certain something. And she has a nice head to pat. Mom kept trying to keep me confined, though, in a high chair or on her lap. Hah. My crawling speed is coming along nicely, and she has to actually make an effort to catch up with me.

In other news, Mommy figured out the mystical secret of the booties, and I couldn't get them off all day. Bummer. It's gotten cold, which means even more of this dressing and undressing that the big people seem so concerned with.

I woke up bright and early this morning. I mean, really early. I just felt like it. Just like I felt like carrying on a loud conversation with the mobile, my bottle, my rattle, and the cats. Baby privilege!

Last night, Daddy taunted me. He put some tasty smelling mac & cheese on my tray. And then he laughed while I was trying to eat it. I would manage to mash some noodles into my hand, and then when I opened my fist to lick them off, they had escaped! Time and time again, I was thwarted by those slippery little devils. Gah! You don't see grown-ups having to play these games, do you?

On the bright side, I think I'm mastering that whole cup-thing. Mommy got me a tippy-cup, which is shaped like a sippy cup, but doesn't have the little valve thing, so I don't have to worry about sucking and tilting. Too much to do! And it automatically rights itself. Unless it's totally upside down. Or I keep using it to water my Cheerios.

Yesterday, Daddy and I did a triumphal tour. I like going shopping with him. I get so much more attention than when I go shopping with Mommy. You'd think these people had never seen a Daddy before. But did I mention the attention? Yeah. I didn't manage to coo him into the train set, though. Curse his willpower. And then we went to the used baby store, and he bought me warm clothes. Which is good. Mommy was sad to note that I only had one bootie this morning. Foot freedom!