Limyaael ([info]limyaael) wrote,
@ 2005-06-01 15:25:00
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Current mood: dorky
Entry tags:fantasy rants: spring 2005, rants on education

Other fantasy education ideas
The last of the education rants, on ideas that don’t fit anywhere else. Some of these actually present more flexible plots than the academies or schools, I think; a lot of the school fantasies end up sounding the same. (Of course, one could argue that that’s a convention of the genre, but in that case I would prefer to read a less conventional genre).



1) There are always families and guilds. A good portion of any one person’s skills would probably come from his or her family. If your fantasy world has a strict division of men’s and women’s duties, it would be easy, commonsensical, and probably seen as desirable for a mother to teach her daughter(s) women’s duties and a man to teach his son(s) men’s duties. If that’s not the case, then both parents could cooperate in teaching the children, but they would probably still teach the children. Children shouldn’t be blank slates to their families unless they were taken away from their families as infants.

Also, consider what could happen with family structures other than the traditional nuclear ones. Perhaps each family member is in charge of some particular skill, and insuring that someone in the succeeding generation learns it. Perhaps family members who haven’t had children, by choice or lack of marriage or lack of fertility, are expected to do the teaching part of the childrearing. Perhaps a wife or husband who comes into the family for the outside will be expected to pass on whatever secret skills survive in his or her bloodline. There are all sorts of ways that someone might learn how to cook, sew, read, write, build fires, hunt, tan skins, cobble shoes, tame horses, make cheese, and so on without going into a formal academy structure.

If a student enters a guild, and assuming it functions on the typical model of guilds, the chances increase. Guilds are all about insuring that a trade survives into the next generation, and many are portrayed as not wanting their secrets, whether magical or not, spread into the outside world. Even within that structure, of course, there are ways to play around. Are the guilds family-dominated? Are they strictly entered into by choice, so that the daughter of a cheesemaker could as easily become a glasswright? Does the family have to pay an apprentice’s fee, and so a peasant artist might not be able to find a master to teach him? Since the whole point of this kind of arrangement is to learn, it’d be an ideal set-up for a story where the author wanted to focus on education but didn’t want to use an academy (or wanted to use a character who, for whatever reason, couldn’t attend one of his world’s academies without a lot of convoluted plotting; see point 5).

2) Try methods of learning other than lectures and fairy tales. “Lectures” are my names for the infodumping monologues/conversations that show up most often when the Wise Old Mentor tells the hero information he didn’t know, and “fairy tales” for when the infodumping lecture comes disguised as a fictional story. (Perhaps I should just use “lecture” for them both. Fantasy worlds seem to have perilously little fiction in them. Whenever any hermit or mysterious wizard or grandmother in a fantasy says that the tale might not be true, I automatically assume it is true, because it inevitably turns out to be).

What is the problem with these? Well-done, nothing. But:

-Many authors can’t write these interestingly. They forsake all purposes but exposition. I’ve said before that huge paragraphs serving only one purpose are boring, and I still believe that. And if the author abandons every consideration but getting the information across, good-bye to any grace, style, or sense that the character in question is speaking them and not an omniscient narrator.

-Most authors seem to assume that their listening characters will take in every detail, remember them faithfully (see point 4), and be intensely interested in them—even when they’ve created characters who won’t be. Why would a restless child who likes adventure stories sit still for pages and pages of exposition about courtly politics? This once again snaps the constraints of viewpoint.

-They can work too easily as deus ex machinas. Got a character who must figure out the solution to a puzzle, and you can’t figure out how he should? Hand him a convenient storyteller whose stories he will remember, word-perfect, many years later! (Point 4 again. Memorize it, learn it, love it). Many times, the storyteller has no other purpose than to spout this nonsense and then leave, and no personality outside the telling, which is another manifestation of the teacher having no personality outside his role.

-They encourage each other to multiply, I swear. If there’s one lecture at one point in the story, chances are good that there’s another one coming up. I just finished The Barbed Coil by J.V. Jones, because I promised myself I would, and there were at least five separate pages-long infodumps. Not fun.

Instead, think about interesting, characteristic ways to get the information across that don’t slam the action to a dead halt. Perhaps your character would learn better by looking at drawings. Perhaps a treasure hunt technique is in order. Perhaps the character very deliberately builds up a puzzle from clues around him, and so each time he finds another clue, he stops, closes his eyes, and adds it in—without needing to summarize everything so far, because the readers are discovering it along with him. Perhaps he’s a ‘model’ learner who learns best by doing whatever it is that the old woman is babbling on about.

Like I said above, this doesn’t mean lectures and fairy lectures never work. But I am getting tired of seeing so many of them, and there are authors and characters who simply shouldn’t (or wouldn’t) use them.

3) The better a skill is built, the better an audience can accept it. One reason it’s hard to suddenly believe that, oh, a princess who’s never had to do her own cooking can whip up a gourmet meal, or a boy who’s never had anything to do with weaving suddenly creates a marvelous tapestry, is the number of small tasks involved in the big one. It may be true that some people have a native talent and passion for cooking, and have dreamed of being cooks even if servants have prepared their meals all their lives. But authors try to start them out at the top too quickly. It’s much better to show that skill building over time, especially if you’re going to show this protagonist as bereft of formal, structured education.

How does someone learn to cook? There are practical tasks involved, sure, like learning to clean pots, not mix certain ingredients, estimate how long it will take before something is fully cooked (imagine doing this in a low-tech fantasy environment without clocks!), and knowing how much of a certain spice to add. But there’s also the ease and long familiarity that nothing but time can give. This effortlessness is another part of what I don’t believe about suddenly skilled fantasy protagonists; they should still struggle more than they do.

So. Show the skill as building throughout the novel. Show the protagonist mastering small tasks that all build up to that one ultimate moment at the climax. Show her getting comfortable with things she struggled with before. Show her asking tons of questions that gradually taper off. Show her going with intuition and getting things right—and thinking she knows more than she does and making mistakes.

Best of all, try not writing this as conscious. Rather than having the protagonist look back from fifty pages on at a task she performed on page 1, and commenting how much easier that task is now, have the familiarity start creeping into her mind. She can be prouder of present accomplishments than past ones, the way that new learners often are. The reader can notice for her, especially on a reread, how much more skilled she’s becoming, and the climax won’t be an out-of-the-blue bolt. But the process will seem more natural.

This, I think, has other advantages beyond naturalness. I’ve lost count of the baldly foreshadowed endings I’ve read, where the protagonist is obviously learning those skills only for the purpose of saving the world. Refusal to spend paragraphs infodumping and introspecting on the protagonist’s progress would make the foreshadowing gentler.

4) Let students wander in thought, forget, get bored. How many of you have ever been students in classes where the professor lectured at you? Raise your hands.

Now, how many of you have ever been in a situation where the information in the lecture would have benefited you—it doesn’t have to be a test—and you could recall the lecture word-perfect just as you needed it? Raise your hands.

Smaller number of hands this time, isn’t there?

This is directed at the student’s role this time, rather than the teacher’s. Too often, the protagonist hears the ultimate answer to a riddle, to a mystery, to the book’s plot, in one of those lectures or fairy lectures I complained about in Point 2. Then, hundreds of pages and sometimes days, months, or years later, he recalls the lectures word-perfect and can solve the riddle, the mystery, or the book’s plot.

I would not object to this if the author had portrayed the protagonist as really, really interested in that information, for whatever reason, or in possession of a memory that won’t let him forget anything. Yet oftentimes the protagonist is shown as bored, prone to daydream, forgetful about minor things (like the much shorter pieces of advice that other people he meets along the way give him), and completely unfamiliar with a lot of basic details that underlie the lecture, such as a village-dwelling protagonist who’s clueless about the big picture of world history that his wise old mentor is explaining to him. Why these lectures don’t run out of their brains like bathwater is beyond me.

So. Stay true to your characterization. Let the protagonist forget the clues, or remember them wrongly and make mistakes because of them. Show him having to work by guesses and testing, as well as by “intuition.” Most of all, make his role as a student connected to the rest of who he really is. If he’s a more visually oriented student and more interested in adventure, then he might well tune out the wise old mentor as he blabs on about court politics and start thinking about the enemies he’ll fight instead.

Speaking of connecting education to who protagonists really are…

5) Connect protagonists to all levels of their educational background. [info]pussinboots made a comment in the last rant that got me thinking about this, and which eventually there will probably be a whole rant on. This is the subject of fantasy protagonists who seem to spring out of whole cloth, or whole song, or thin air. There’s no connection with their environment, or else the explanation is so ridiculously convoluted that the author would have been better putting the protagonist in a different environment altogether. Examples related to education are:

-the peasant hero who dwells in a world where every other peasant lives a life of brutish desperation, can’t read, and finds the most enjoyment in small local events like festivals—while he dreams about saving the whole world, knows how to read and most of the world’s history, and is determined to attend a festival in a city 500 miles away that no one else has even heard of.
-the princess who, despite parental, cultural, sibling, friend, and mentor disapproval, has somehow become an expert swordswoman, even as the author assures us that people just waiting to report any unladylike behavior watch her every hour of the day and night.
-the noble heroine who has grown up in a culture where all the nobles have long philosophical discussions about marriage and love with a tradition going back a thousand years, and she manages to come out with an insight about love in her first philosophical debate that astonishes everyone and which no one has ever heard of before.
-the hero who has suffered injustice and jealousy in the village school, in the exams chosen to pick people for university, and in the university itself, and knows it was injustice and jealousy, yet is completely unable to suspect the new bully, using the same old tactics, who has appeared in his school life.

Before you create a completely separate character and setting, think about intertwining them, hmmm? With education as with everything else. It would help make it seem as if you’re writing about a ‘realistic’ fantasy world, or at least one where you aren’t desperately reaching for exceptions to your own rules in order to give the protagonist the kind of background you want.



*checks poll* The rant on surprise endings and in-story revelations is next.




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[info]erythros
2005-06-01 07:37 pm UTC (link)
!!! Bookmarking this one FOR SURE. (Graycloaks love number one. A lot.)

Well OBVIOUSLY number five, except that it's not obvious because most authors do not THINK about it.

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[info]jhiday
2005-06-01 09:09 pm UTC (link)
Well, I personally didn't want to think about where the hell my ninja spy comes from. But simply pondering it raises an "obvious" answer (some sort of ninja academy in a remote location) as well as more questions (Why do they exist ? What is their philosophy ? Why did her parents send her there ?). I've been thinking about toning down the whole "ninja" thing because this kind would end up obscuring the point. And she does something really stupid at the beginning, so she can't be that good...

Well, this is the kind of thought process that puts me back to the drawing board (what is meant to happen in the beginning changed at least twice since I wrote it, so I prefer to really think all this through before resuming the actual writing of my story...)

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[info]limyaael
2005-06-03 08:19 pm UTC (link)
What [info]pussinboots said still resonates with me: that author make up a world they like and a protagonist they like and plump one into the other, without much thinking about the consequences. I suppose I'd add that people think up plots they like, too, and then keep them at all costs. If the heroine has to be able to read, but the writer wants her to be a peasant scorned for her literacy, there's usually some torturous explanation about books in old ruins that no one else cared about or something.

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[info]telophase
2005-06-01 07:44 pm UTC (link)
The bit about forgetting things in lectures just made me wonder if there's been any books with prophecies/teaching songs/whatever that have undergone the usual changes through time - there should be misrememberings, mishearings, new verses added later, rewritings to suit various political or social goals, conflicting variants folded together and stirred, language and grammar change, and so on that all normal traditional poetry, songs, and stories go through.

Somehow the Ultimate Prophecy almost always seems to be in contemporary language and unchanged from the day it was first set down. And what about all the fortunetelling charlatans writing down their own prophecies? The True Prophecy probably would be hard to separate from all the fluff surrounding it. *ponders possibilities*

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[info]klgaffney
2005-06-01 09:18 pm UTC (link)
i love little details like there being a legend, based on this random happening/historical fact, and then there being wild superstition based on the legend, and so forth, the details of the story changing according to whom you're speaking to, how far removed they are, how well educated, what side they're affiliated with, etc. and it doesn't have to be a HUGE defining part of the story, just little things thrown in here and there for that extra touch of reality.

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[info]mistressrenet
2005-06-02 03:35 pm UTC (link)
Terry Prachett plays around with that sometimes. But we should all learn by his example. And a Bad Prophecy was a plot point in Angel for...about three seasons. I think I've seen it in other places but I can't place where.

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[info]limyaael
2005-06-03 08:19 pm UTC (link)
I like playing with prophecies like this, though I prefer flat-out wrong ones to misguided ones. But then, I like screwing Fate over.

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[info]caremel
2005-06-01 08:47 pm UTC (link)
Another method of learning is reading. Very infrequently does a character ever read a book for pleasure despite having books all around him/her, as in a university setting. Of course for some people this would be out of character (a farm boy who isn't comfortable around books, for example. But why would such a person be at university anyway?). It doen't have to be a nonfiction book either- the amount I've learned from pleasure reading makes my friends call me a know-it-all (lovingly of course). It would also provide a reason to place in interesting facts without infodumping (if done skillfully).
~Caremel

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[info]limyaael
2005-06-03 08:20 pm UTC (link)
*grin* Exactly. There's not much fiction in a fantasy world, and not much opportunity for enjoying it. Everything gets sacrificed to the whims of the plot. The adventures the main character reads and daydreams about turn out to be real, for example, rather than "just" inspiring stories. I think it's probably linked to the lack of real art in most fantasy worlds.

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[info]snapes_angel
2005-06-01 08:59 pm UTC (link)
This all actually sounds like something I've been working on and mulling over for well over a decade. Well, actually closer to two decades. =^~,0^=

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[info]klgaffney
2005-06-01 09:14 pm UTC (link)
3) The better a skill is built, the better an audience can accept it.

what also annoys me is how general an author can get. okay, the hero learned to be a gourmet chef. but cooking gets really specialized. are they a gourmet sushi chef, or a gourmet dessert chef? i love the guys that are expert in ALL forms of magic or ALL forms of weaponry, hell, even if they're expert on fighting from horseback, i'm doubting they have the skills to handle a chariot at the same time--where's their chariot driver? maybe they were taught to handle all of these things, to some degree (what if their chariot-driver is shot?), and maybe they are talented as hell, but i doubt they can be the very best ever at all of them. i'd be more impressed if they came up with a clever tactic to get around a weakness than being the best at everything across the board. and if the char's going to be expert in a particular field, it's probably a good idea for the author to do their research, so they're not accidently confusing terms and whatnot, or they're going to bounce the people that know anything of what they're talking about right out of the story.

5) Connect protagonists to all levels of their educational background.

yesssh. that one should be bolded and outlined in red and festooned with sparklies.

and what about the bad student as a legitimate reason to not know or have forgotten or misremembered something or trying something that most people know better than to attempt? ignorance as happy accident sort of virtue, and of course, ignorance as a reason why they're in trouble in the first place? i don't see that utilized nearly as much as i see the opposite.

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[info]caremel
2005-06-01 11:26 pm UTC (link)
Je suis d'accord avec vous particularly about specific skills. What is the point in giving someone a skill if you don't know a whit about it? Research is the mother of a detailed and layered story....
~Caroline

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[info]limyaael
2005-06-03 08:24 pm UTC (link)
I prefer to read about smaller feats of cleverness, as well, especially because being under high pressure and limited time would probably provide a better environment for that than for the protagonist to do all these extremely detailed and complicated things.

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[info]pico_the_great
2005-06-01 11:37 pm UTC (link)
[/CEMENTING YOU TO FRIENDS-LIST NOW.]

This has come at the perfect time. I'm in re-writing mode, and I was trying to figure out how to introduce a person to magic who has grown up in this world (IE: even having been shown it, she'll have a hard time figuring out how to do things herself.)

Now add to this a severe case of ADD.


Points Two and Four have been very useful, Point Two especially. I've been trying to work through my previous infodumps by having things happen meanwhile that distract the main character, but I'm not sure about the success of this. (The idea of realting info in a fictional story never really occurred to me, mostly because the mentor-figure is anything but conducive to that device.)


Anyway, your words here have been a great help, giving me ideas for how to accomplish said goals. Tyvm.

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[info]pico_the_great
2005-06-03 05:03 pm UTC (link)
ADDIT: I just realized (from trolling around on badfic) that I need to clarify. This is not the "OMGADD!" that bad humor writers use as an excuse, the thing where they spastically shout out unrelated words and get distracted by shiny things.

This is real ADD, the type where a person might be intelligent, creative, whatever, but does not follow things through, is impatient and annoying in nature, and no matter how interesting the subject is, honestly stops paying attention in the middle of a lecture because it's too much talking and not enough doing.

Just wanted to make that clear.

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ooo, shiny!
[info]robling_t
2005-06-03 06:06 pm UTC (link)
Just wanted to make that clear.

Yea, verily... um, what was the question again? :)

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[info]limyaael
2005-06-03 08:24 pm UTC (link)
Don't worry, know what you meant about ADD. Glad if this will be a help. I'd like to see more "bad student" protagonists, if only to counter the wave of "instinctive geniuses."

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[info]reynai
2005-06-02 03:09 am UTC (link)
Number four reminded me of a webcomic, oddly enough. A very parodious webcomic, spoofing both video games and some traditional fantasy...
http://www.nuklearpower.com/daily.php?date=010406

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[info]limyaael
2005-06-03 08:25 pm UTC (link)
*snerk* Thank you for sharing!

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[info]kutsuwamushi
2005-06-02 03:28 am UTC (link)
If your fantasy world has a strict division of men’s and women’s duties, it would be easy, commonsensical, and probably seen as desirable for a mother to teach her daughter(s) women’s duties and a man to teach his son(s) men’s duties.

What about cultures where children are raised almost exclusively by women until they reach a certain age? If the child was taken away to school at an early age, it's possible that he might not have interacted with his father much at all.

This reminds me of a rant I was planning to do eventually: varying family structures. It seems like families in the fantasy I've read are mostly so very nuclear.

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[info]l_clausewitz
2005-06-02 06:02 am UTC (link)
Well, most families in history were nuclear to one degree or another. Perhaps you mean that fantasy families are way too nuclear? I won't argue against that one--the point is quite valid. All those families shouldn't have been so isolated from their broader kin. I'm as anxious as you are to see a fantasy protagonist who would turn to an uncle or a distant cousin for money before he/she even thinks of approaching a pawnbroker. Better still, they could just ask their parents to lend them some.

That brings to mind the question why so many fantasy heroes are orphans or from otherwise mysterious backgrounds. Maybe the writer is just too lazy to figure out the protagonist's relation to his/her parents and grandparents and cousins and nieces? Is there an "Orphans" rant already?

And one more thing: why is it that the hero's culture is usually so much more individual in outlook than the other cultures around it? (Reminds me a bit of the Goodkind rant....)

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[info]kutsuwamushi
2005-06-02 06:49 am UTC (link)
Perhaps you mean that fantasy families are way too nuclear?

Well, yeah - that was the "so very" part. I wonder why so many families in fantasy seem to follow such a familiar pattern. =) You could pick them up, put them somewhere in America or Western Europe, and they wouldn't be that out of place.

I want to know where the cultures with different customs are.

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[info]limyaael
2005-06-03 08:26 pm UTC (link)
I've seen those cultures, but the author seems to assume that the boys' maleness drives them away from participating in female activities, and that the women themselves know to train the boys in a different way.

I would really like to see the rant on family structures. I don't know a lot of the anthropological or sociological basis behind them.

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[info]maureenlycaon
2005-06-02 05:02 am UTC (link)
Number 3 makes me remember a horror novel, Mastery by Kelley Wilde. A group of people, including the main character, are sent back to San Francisco in 1906 -- the year of the great earthquake that destroyed most of the city. The main character's big problem? Like everybody else, he knows that the quake will take place that year -- but he doesn't remember the precise date.

Consider the implications, when a hero is faced with an impending crisis, and he remembers something about this in his education, but he can't remember a crucial part of it.

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[info]limyaael
2005-06-03 08:26 pm UTC (link)
That's fascinating. I'll have to see if I can find it.

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[info]maureenlycaon
2005-06-04 02:16 pm UTC (link)
Used copies were plentiful on Amazon when I checked. It's quite disjointed and bizarre, so don't get your hopes up too high.

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[info]l_clausewitz
2005-06-02 06:03 am UTC (link)
Weird. #4 and #5 are, actually, the first things that always come to my mind whenever I try to figure out the educational institutions in a fictional society. I find it all but impossible to write from the viewpoint of a character who doesn't have at least a solid background idea behind him/her, and most of the time I can't even figure out their actions and reactions without going into day-to-day details like these. That's the price of being an obsessive worldbuilder :)

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[info]bneuensc
2005-06-02 03:49 pm UTC (link)
Diana Wynne Jones' The Magicians of Caprona does a highly entertaining job with #1. Not only is it families (who are more obsessive about their traditions than most fantasy guilds), it's melodramatic Renaissance Italian families.

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[info]limyaael
2005-06-03 08:26 pm UTC (link)
I read it and liked it, though since I didn't know anything about Punch and Judy, that part of the story was rather lost on me.

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[info]bneuensc
2005-06-03 08:29 pm UTC (link)
Likewise. But she's a good enough writer otherwise that I didn't mind.

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[info]belenen
2005-06-03 05:03 am UTC (link)
question: This has probably been asked before, but why not have a community (that only allows you to post) exclusively for your writing-help rants? It would help in organization and I think it would make it easier to browse....

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[info]belenen
2005-06-03 05:08 am UTC (link)
heh heh, after seeing the 248 rants in the memories, I think I understand why you'd prefer to go on as you began. ;-)

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[info]limyaael
2005-06-03 08:27 pm UTC (link)
Well, all the rants are public and will stay that way, so even someone who doesn't have me friended and just wants to check the journal for the rants shouldn't have trouble. I think it'd be easier to just leave them here.

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[info]hieronymousb
2005-06-03 10:00 am UTC (link)
Point #2 is a tough one because, while I generally do hate info-dumping, sometimes it honestly happens in real life where you touch upon a subject by accident and someone gives you a very in-depth explanation of it. For instance, when my friend and I were talking on the phone, I (or he) brought up Star Wars, and he ended up giving me a very detailed explanation of the plot-line...so I think it is possible for stuff to, well, "just come up" in a conversation and another character explaining it, especially if it is something important to this other character.

#5--Amen. I also think it is possible for a character to be highly intelligent in one way and yet an idiot in other ways. For instance, a guy who has been homeschooled and not gotten out much might be brilliant with books, but an idiot when it comes to social skills (as my protagonist is)

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[info]limyaael
2005-06-03 08:28 pm UTC (link)
2- It happens in real life, but fiction is not real life. *grin* Also, I think the author should do a better job of conveying the protagonist's/speaker's interest in the subject, then. Too often, it's just plot-convenient, and sounds rather potted when you're reading the hundredth version of how the gods made the world.

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[info]hieronymousb
2005-06-04 02:33 am UTC (link)
Actually, I was thinking of a scene I wrote where my protagonist (who was new to these lands) was sitting at a table talking to some people and asked one of them about the coinage/banking system in the lands. The other explained. It might have been info-dumping...I'm not sure. I didn't consciously think "I want to explain that!" before I wrote it, it just came up in the conversation because, for some reason, one of the characters accidentally touched on it and I went with that.

I'm not really sure what to consider info-dumping because I do think that sometimes you just find an interesting subject, ask someone about it, and they get very enthusiastic and explain it to you--especially if it's something that is very important to them. I guess I consider it info-dumping more if it's something I think the protagonist should *know*. For instance, the protagonist should KNOW about who is the king of the kingdom (unless he's a really ignorant peasant) or about what gods people in his lands worship or shit like that. If another character pops up and explains that, then I raise my eyebrow. If a protagonist is new to something and asks someone who should know about what the something is, then I don't really see what would be wrong with them explaining it. If the explanation was WAYYY long and took like five fucking pages and turned into a huge monologue, then yes, that would annoy me, but I don't think I would mind if the protagonist interrupted with questions all along. If it were a more even exchange, as opposed to some "wise" guy monologuing, then I'm not sure if I would find it atrocious or not. Guess it would just depend on how the author wrote it.

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[info]woodburner
2005-06-05 11:01 am UTC (link)
...How this post ended up on the education rant I have NO idea. I swear to god I didn't post it here. Or at least, I swear to god I didn't percieve myself as posting it here. o.o

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I don't care how old this rant is, I was only pointed at your lj today...
[info]a1viola
2005-06-23 06:04 am UTC (link)
As to #2 and #4, you can always have the lecture delivered by a seemingly crazy wanderer or hermit who only speaks in riddles that take the character years to figure out, just make sure they're riddles that would nag at the character's specific personality until they figure it out. Maybe you could even give Mr. Hermit/Wanderer his own stalkerish personality and he keeps popping up with more (heehee, stalkers!)

As to #3, why not make her stew explode, yes, stew HAHAHA!

As to #5, the princess:equal rights fighter? Perhaps because of the disapproval (but you'd have to make that clear in the story). The heroine, perhaps she's young, after all "Out of the mouths of babes..." OR perhaps, she's just a bit "off"...

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