But then, intelligence and swearing go so fucking well together!

http://www.feministe.us/blog/archives/2008/07/21/the-us-economy-is-completely-utterly-totally-screwed/

Oh man, I'm struggling with my wonderful brain! You know that thing I do where I pretend I'm Neo (I know jujitsu!) and I learn an outstanding amount about a subject? Like last week it was miniature cattle. Yeah well don't knock it, it's a fascinating subject. I've FINALLY convinced myself that I really need to do more fimo jewelry and some sewing. The brain...it's trying to convince me that I need to learn macramé for my handspun (But look! you could use baby alpaca and silver glitz to make this shawl thing and it would be cool and you wouldn't have to use knitting needles! It'll be AWESOME!) and needle felting (but you could make cool shit!) and fucking QUILTING!!!!(but the patterns of the fabric and the patterns of the interacting squares and hexagons and you could make tessellations and then the color values and WHEE it would ROCK DUDE!!).

Is that something else shiny over there? *sigh* It's like herding cats to pay attention to anything instead of learning something new every hour.

ETA: let's not even go into how I want an embroidery machine that can digitize pictures and the world of trouble THAT would get me into!!!!

For chaotic_nipplehttp://gizmodo.com/5022769/exclusive-inside-the-lego-factory

Do you think I could make a schoolstore where I teach now to do all my freaky crafts?  I could have some supplies, and some finished goods, and I could teach knitting and sewing tutus and cake decorating?  Obviously not in Boonville, so not now, but maybe I could hold a class on something and see how I like it.

Interesting.

Meanwhile, I need to either go sew and draw a portfolio for PR6 or get over it.  I'm too brittle to be angsting over it.

Mom is off life support (Ventilator) and is feisty and giving her BF and the nurses StinkEye. I walk in with the kid today and she starts cooing, "I love you sooo much...awww. I love youuuuu." She also said, "mummle nair mummnle looks really gooooood." My response, "Only you could get out of major surgery and and off life support and notice my hair!!" She laughed. She couldn't talk much between the surgery, the recent vent, and the whackload of drugs they keep ICU patients on. She has a long and feeble recovery ahead of her. And loads of StinkEye for the staff.

I was pretty banged up about this, and feeling like I'd been pinballing from catastrophe to drama lately. Erm, lately being the last 6 years. So I started to reread my journal...bad idea :P Most of the latest stuff has been me psyching myself up to move. That's just not something I can do to my mom. She's just not that stable, mentally or physically, after her stroke and this. She'll never know that I didn't move because of her, and she'll resent that I only go see her once or twice a week. But it would be devastating for her if I took away the grandbaby right now.

So I need to find what will make it ok for me to be here for another year, without digging in so deep I can't leave later. I can't have chickens and goats and minicows. Well, I'd have to commit to staying here, and that feels wierd. I'll make a needs/wants list at some point, likely here.

OH! and I'm trading Kaja Foglio of Girl Genius Comics another bit of my jewelry (the Aethermometer to be precise) for comic #7!!! Yeay for full signed set!!!

She's out of surgery, in the ICU on a vent and draining fluid out of her lungs. Wish I hadn't taken the kid to see her, it was scary. Ah well. Mom will be fine, her color is good and they got all the crud. Kid will be fine, but I think she's less interested in being a doctor. On the way home she was talking about how cool it would be to have one of her songs on the radio...she now wants to be a rock star. By 10.

Well, my mom is in the hospital with fluid in her chest. She was supposed to have surgery, but it got delayed, and now she's on a ventilator. I mean, yes, it sucks, but she's been in such poor health for so long that it's not unexpected, and I fully think she'll be fine, she's come back from worse.

The part that sucks is, she went in on Sunday. Her bf just called me this morning. Makes me feel like really a part of the family. I know I don't go over to see her enough, and there's a bit of a "Well if you'd been OVER you'd KNOW' vibe going on. Whatever, is it so hard to call someone's child when they're yarded into the hospital for emergency surgery?

Y'know, I'd ask the universe for a break, but I'm thinking I'd just end up in a cast.

Googlemaps is out of this world incredible. I now have a little bit of my bearings straight on a new city, via the terrain maps and satellite, which are so much more informative than street maps for me.

I was laughing a little bit when I saw that pastry chefs are a 'desired immigration class' for Canada. But, they're willing to pay. I just found a job on craigslist that pays $48K. This is a job that I had and was getting paid $25K here, and I was among the highest paid in the area. This is SO reinforcing that moving is a smart thing to do.

I also found a bitchin' house that's equivalent to the one I'm living in now for a reasonable price (for Vancouver) that allows dogs and it next to parks and woods and stuff. It's tempting to leave in a couple of days rather than a week...

However, I don't think that pastry job would work out. I really want part time work for a year, because I dont' want the kid to move to a new country and big city and then be in daycare all day long. Though it really might be more fun than being at home, I think it might be nice to have the cocoon of home to mellow the stress of moving, at least for the first month, then it'll be time for school, and then we can add daycare after school. *shrug* I'm overplanning, it's time to let the mop flop and keep working away as I do it.

I ran across an article in Smithsonian Magazine today about the silk fabric creators (I hesitate to use the word factory because the artisanship is astounding) in the Lake Como area of Italy. A sentence stood out, and it was like a fucking beacon.

"....adding to the sum total of beauty in the world."

Ah. Yes. Quite. If anyone EVER asks me about what I do, or what I'm going to do, with my life, I'm going to use that quote. I feel fucking validated.

(Speaking of fucking validated, there are hundreds of firefighters camped in town and ohmigod, I think they need a camp follower in the medieval sense of the word. Whuf.)

I know who *I* am voting for, if I'm still a US citizen in fall:

http://www.shatnerhasselhoff.com/

yesssssssssss!

Still planning to go up to Vancouver next week and get an apartment there or in Nanaimo. I have a week of cleaning ahead of me, that's for sure! I am going to have a hard time fitting my stuff into a 26' van unless I pare down a good bit, or maybe put some in storage (aka the barn with its mice) and do a second run next year. *shrug* sometimes I really wish I had better advice in my life, since my own radar is sketchy at best. It's still a big scary move.

In search of magic 8 ball advice, i went to the Brezny horoscope site and got:
"Some people skip to the end of a book and read the last few pages while they're still in its early stages. They want to know what will ultimately happen without going through the steps that lead up to it. While it's harmless to prematurely peek at how a book's story resolves, trying a similar approach could cause problems if you do it with your life in the coming weeks. Distortions might arise from trying to "time-travel" to a future date and foresee the outcome of a process you're in the middle of. It could sap your ability to carry out the work you'll need to do. Or it may fill you with false expectations that cause you to misjudge your allies. Be patient."

Damn, I am totally trying to time travel to a place in another country where I have a nice house in a nice neighborhood with good schools and a guy and a job. Better than insomnia and worry here though....but I think I will mull that over tomorrow. This feels like my ONE BIG CHANCE to change my life - going to a new place with better (any, really) opportunities. I won't have the opportunity later, or the time. The longest I could wait would be August, I really want to be somewhere by Kindergarten for the kid. Argh, I'm going to go listen to my brain hamster cage and try to sleep some more :)

GREAT rant on Obama, I love this gent's blog:

http://physioprof.wordpress.com/2008/07/10/barack-obama-is-pissing-me-the-fuck-off/

It's strange to be planning travel with a kid, especially when it's so open ended as this trip. I am pretty sure I can't say, we're going to make it to Eugene and be done! Or we might make it as far as Portland that day. We might love a town, or hate it. I am finding Google Maps to be FUCKING VALUABLE for this, since I can go to ''my maps' and plug in the names of places to stay (and maybe a couple of wool shops). I'm mostly looking at guest houses, not only are they in the $50-75 range (generally $50 cheaper than motels), they are less likely to have bedbugs (ewwwww) which are a big problem in less expensive hotels.  And they have the comfort of being 'homey'.  I just need to get a battery for my laptop so I can boot up in the car and get my info at a moment's notice, though I could pay (ouch) to check it on my phone as well.

Places I'll likely hit on the way or back down: Ashland, Eugene, Portland, Seattle, Vancouver, Nanaimo, Victoria

Anyone have any great recommendations on places to stay or eat between NorCal and Vancouver-Nanaimo?

Nanaimo on PEI even has a Lush shop. Purrrr......

Canada.

Umm, I was thinking Vancouver, Dublin, Edinborough, Manchester, or Aukland myself.

American Cities That Best Fit You:

55% Austin 55% Denver 55% San Diego 55% San Francisco 50% Atlanta

Some assfuck attourney just FROZE MY BANK ACCOUNT AND TRIED TO WITHDRAW $5000.

FOR A BILL WHEN MY DAUGHTER WENT TO THE EMERGENCY ROOM.

I am leaving for a country with health insurance.

I HATE MENDOCINO COAST COMMUNITY HOSPITAL - FUCKING CRIMINALS!!!!!!

1) Stolen from profstevie

http://www.dailykos.com/storyonly/2008/7/7/205130/8997/236/547945

Oi, I have the travel bug. I know, I need to get in the car and drive north along the coast.. The air is bad here, I should just do it, but see - my mom took me "Hippie VW Camping" one summer when I was two, and I'm scared my kid will hate it as much as I did. Mind you, I'm not a hippie and my mother was insane, but still. I also have the undersocialised dog to deal with. But I just got a tiny inheritance from Germany, and so I could blast up north.... Or I could go to Austin, or Asheville.

But I really want to go jetset. I want to go to Dublin, Edinborough, and the English countryside. And then move there. Or New Zealand, or Canada, or.....

*sigh* I love being indecisive.

REALLY nice article on the fires from the NYT:

http://www.nytimes.com/2008/07/07/us/07firefighters.html?_r=1&oref=slogin

I loved that the article was focused not only on the AMAZING job the volunteers did, but also the total breakdown of govt. support. We needed these tankers and the national guard on June 22nd, though I'm glad they showed up yesterday, and it's sheer luck and tenacity that we didn't lose a hell of a lot more. It's a great glimpse into life up here, and yes, I do know EVERY person mentioned, and the name of their dog, and their kids, and grandkids (small town yo).

“But Obama’s main message was the government’s duty to address what he said are “moral problems” — such as war, poverty, joblessness, homelessness, violent streets and crumbling schools — and to employ religious institutions to do it.”

http://news.aol.com/elections/story/_a/obama-puzzled-by-iraq-remarks-frenzy/20080705212809990001

Ireland, Scotland, Canada, and New Zealand are all looking realllll good right now.

I feel like Neo - "I know jiu-jitsu!" I know small cattle. I know: the major breeds, their history, whether they were man-made or created by harsh environments (islands mostly), history of the breeds in the US, major breeders, what each of the breeds is known for (milk or meat), temperament of most breeds, and the national pedigree registries of each. So I've settled on Dexter cattle, which are from Southern Ireland. They're GREAT little cows, not the showiest (those would be the mini-Bhramas from India, pretty but stubborn, they are different sub species of cattle, and I might need some of those too). Dexters are used for meat, have some of the best milk, and can be used to pull carts too! The only tri-use breed left, actually. Now I know the major colors, genetics of the color transmissions, genetic defects, major breeders, and now I need to go double check breed-specific conformation (shape). I might be like Neo, but I might just be nuts too :) Want to know about the genetics of rose colors, shapes, and major breeders for the last 150 years? I still remember that shit too.