All I want is to be healthy, keep my relationship in tact, and get the things I worked for and paid for.

None of these are happening anymore.

I work my ass off in my classes... and I end up with 1/2 a point less than I need to maintain the 4.0 I've busted nuts for over a year for.

I work my ass off to keep my relationship and it's dynamic running smoothly. Then, because of MONEY (truly the root of all evil) I am losing one of the only good things in my life.

My health is going to shit... probably a combo of mass amounts of stress, my fiance being gone ALL the time so I basically am doing EVERYTHING on my own, and the fact that I can't see my own damn doctor for nearly a month!!

I try really hard at work to make sales.. I try really hard all night long to knit and get my shop going.. some days I sell allot and get a good amount of work done. Some days, I don't sell shit or I knit all night long and end up only a inch or two ahead. Shouldn't the same amount of work yeild the same amount of results?!?

I buy local, or at least handmade, to support small business. BUT then I end up with issues... I really REALLY don't want to go back to buying from "big business", but at least they are half-way reliable! Gah...

I just picked a designer and started the process of having my wedding dress made... but because of 2 instances of problems with "small business" designers I am now freaking out about having my dress ON TIME, and made the way we agreed. I know I shouldn't judge this girl without working with her before.. but the past is making me weary. Should I scrap our deal and go with a store-bought dress? (as much as that makes me want to cringe)

AND on that subject.. I don't even know if I WANT to get married again! I know I love this Man and I know my place is at his side... but the closer the wedding gets and the further he strays from the man he WAS, I am starting to lose it... As I said, I just "ordered" my dress and we are going Thursday to check out our (most likely) venue.. and I don't even know if I want to be in the same house as him right now!!

Sometimes life is all peaches and roses.. .and the next minute it's a big bowl of crap.

Wah... <---- *feeling sorry for self*

Considering that it's coming up on 2 years that We've been engaged, I suppose it's about time I filled out one of these guys:


Name and/or LJ userID: Lacey , lace_d
Wedding Date: October 10, 2009
Bride/Groom/Other (please specify): Bride
Age: 24, will be 26 at the wedding time. My FH is 23, will be 24 at the time of the wedding
City/State/Country you live in: Iowa (on the IL and WI border) USA
City/State/Country you're getting married in (if different): Same.. slight possibility of getting married across the river in IL, we haven't picked an exact location yet
Your song/First Dance song: Most likely going with "True Love Ways" by Buddy Holly
Wedding Colors: Cream, antique gold, deep red
Formality: Formal
Theme (if you have one): French, Victorian, Glam
Number of guests: hoping to keep it around 100-150
How'd you meet your fiance?: I actually met him through a friend of my ex's. We "knew" each other for over a year before we talked. When we finally really talked and ended up getting to know each other, it was at a show he had with his band at the time.
How long have you been together?: 3 years
Do you have a personal wedding website?: nope.. at least not yet
Anything else you'd like to tell us?: Umm.. so far I only know colors, a few possible locations, guests at the actual ceremony part as it will be VERY small and private, the cake stand I want... I'll probably be DIYing my hairpiece, shawl/wrap (since it's cold here in fall), table centerpieces, and maybe even invites. Partially for saving $$, but mostly because I have it all in my head what I want exactly.

I'm having my dress made from a sketch I did. It will be a true corset and wedding skirt. I waist train with corsets, and I couldn't even imagine NOT having a real corsetted gown to show off the figure I've been working on!
Also, I'm having my jewelry custom made. (I'm really picky!)

Since I never write anything in this journal and I'm SUPER bored.. I thought now would be a good time to start! LOL

Let's see... hmm... Well today is a holiday and ALL of my family are at home relaxing.. and I am at work. I only work usually 2 days a week, and this week work took up 2 of the 3 days my hunny had off work! Gah.. It's no one's fault but my own. I thought my normal babysitter would be out of town so I set it up this way. Once the babysitter cancelled her trip, it was too late..

So I am here at work.. getting a headache from the dust and old stuff stench.. wishing I was at home making pancakes for my family.

Poo...

I'm also having a heck of a time finding the SIMPLE fabric design that I want for my next corset. This next little lovely will probably be paid for either with the money I get from selling my last little lovely that doesn't suit my "winter weight" chunkyness, or from the couple bucks here and there I'm getting from selling a few collectables.. But if I can't find the darn fabric, I don't know what..

Age didn't mean anything to me until I got past.. oh say 23.. now I realize why people frown on May/December relationships and such. Age may just be a number, but in some cases that number speaks more than a full set of encyclopedias could!

Most things that taste good have more fat than I should be allowed.

I work next door to a Gym (I use their potty) and I am horribly out of shape.

Birds are obnoxious when there are more than 3 or 4 of them in one area. They will not allow us to spend time on our porch since it is too close to their nests... They don't pay rent in those bushes, but we DO pay rent for our apartment which is connected to that porch. Plus we are bigger... So why are they winning?

I wish I had the guts to act like my 4 year old. Not all the time.. just the way she will say anything to anyone and not really care if she comes off completely crazy!

I have changed the date of my wedding more times than the number of attendants involved.

I need some cheesecake and Ibuprofen.... NOW

Current Mood: bored

Sweeney Todd was amazing... all I hoped for and more. Visually stunning!

Tags: movies, musicals
Current Mood: artistic