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April 19th, 2005

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March 31st, 2005

01:12 pm - Howdy I don't think in the history of my having this Journal have I taken so long between entries. Usually it has been 1 week at the latest. What's it been now, 2? Longer? Ah well. I guess I haven't had a whole lot to chatter about. Things have been going...ok. Ok as I can expect for the time being. I just feel overwhelmed with stuff lately. Mostly it's self-punishment, I could every well NOT do half the stuff I want/need to. Usually I pile up so much stuff on myself I never actually do any of it, which is quite terrible. Wanna see a laundry list of stuff I try and do on a regular basis? - Work. This is the core of it all, my annoying job. It wouldn't be so annoying if I didn't work for St. Louis County. It pays good, affords me a place to live, a marriage, cars, but I absolutely HATE inmates. Considering that IS my job, you can imagine the headaches I get. - Gym. Yes, I've been back for a little while now, but trying to keep a real steady routine is a pain. I enjoy it, but I just wish I didn't have a million things to do and I could make it a priority. - My studio. I have SOOO many ideas in my head and I haven't done anything about it, really. I mean I have, but it's not what I want. I swear I have ADD, because I can't keep my mind on anything--no matter what it is--for very long. As soon as an idea pops into my head, I move onto another one. Plus Troy keeps coming up with such good shit, I'm tempted just to pimp his stories onto a published artist and let the kid get some exposure. Me? I'm just too damn lazy sometimes. I should be drawing now, but I'm not. Why, I don't know. I'm a slug. Ok, now I'm in a down mood. Thanks. Everytime I write in this stupid thing I get upset. So, that's it. I'll write when there's a real reason. Right now though I simply don't care. Goodbye. Current Mood: angry Current Music: Fuck Yo Couch, Nigga!

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March 8th, 2005

10:44 pm - Family Business Oh god, why I even bother with this thing I'll never know. I suppose ramblings are entertaining for the 3 people who read 'em. Anyhoo, where to start...hmmmm...well, work is cool. I'm back on day shift, which is a TOTAL stress reliever for me. There's still stress involved, sure, but it's not nearly as bad. Plus, when my day is over I get to come home go to the gym. Ah yes, the gym. I'm doing pretty well too. It's good to be back in there in a regular basis, lifting again. I feel a lot better about myself. Not so much in an egotistical way or even a health-conscious sorta way, but just because I'm doing something liberating. I haven't had a lot of chance for that; to do something that makes me feel better. Almost religious, in a lot of ways. I guess the best way to put it is when I'm done working out, I feel like a different person. Happier. It's nice, I gotta say. A far cry from the stress and misery I was feeling but a couple months ago, if not sooner. The studio...yeah, that dumb thing I keep talking about. Well, eat my ass, because it's still here. The room is complete, all painted up and locked n' loaded with all the nice shiny things needed to make me look like I know what I'm doing. I've even got a new website too! HUZZAH~! Head on over to www.3030studios.enione.com and peep the freshness. For whatever reason this guy I met on the Image Comics message board really liked my stuff and offered all of this webspace. Rather nice, I must say. Also, on his site (www.enione.com) you can visit his forum while the page is still being built. If you go to the site address you'll already be linked to it. I've even got my own little forum space, but I haven't messed with that yet. I'm still finishing up the site and then I can create the flyers and business cards I need to get rollin'. There's other stuff I want to say, but I can't. Some feelings are better left to one's self to ponder. Not that an online journal isn't the most secure place for such personal feelings and all...Anyhoo, I hope all of your lifes are filled with joy and happiness on this wonderful day that God gave us. Or something. Whatever. Ok, goodbye. Kyle p.s. - Oh yeah, "Be Cool" was awesome and The Emperor's Palace in Manchester is badass. Current Mood: crazy Current Music: Usher - "Caught Up" (why, I don't know)

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February 24th, 2005

03:03 am - Watch Automator draw a laser of a higher intensity and instantly miss a beat, create a symphony Some random thoughts: - The new 50 Cent album is retarded, and I don't know why. - Speaking of rap, the Deltron 3030 album is very much a favorite of all time now. - Creating stories and whatnot with Troy is awesome. - I'm REALLY tired and REALLY should be sleeping, but I'm a REAL idiot. - Wreaking havoc on the internet automatically makes you a faggot. - Day shift at work is badass. - Is my scanner hooked up? I should ask My Pet. - I really need to stop working out so hard when I go to the gym. I can't move my arms. - Miller's Grill makes really good Southwestern Club Sandwiches. - Music really does sooth the soul. - Pajama pants should be allowed to be worn at work, regardless of color and print. - I, Robot is a really good movie. I don't know why I didn't see it sooner. - Replacing cracked windshields with nice un-cracked windshields is KEWL. - Wrestling is fun again. Well, at least those who actually no how to do it. - Speaking of which, I actually got excited when Batista turned on Evolution, and I have NO idea why. - Constantine was cool too, now that I think about it. - I had sushi, prime rib and theater popcorn on Valentine's Day. It was awesome. - I quit smoking. - I now use the extra money to support my crack habit. - Ok, so I'm kidding, but I do buy a lot of coffee and V8 juice now. - I wanna go on vacation. - Without my soon-to-be-father-in-law. - I want to drink glass after glass of Yellow Birds and Bahama Mamas again, like I did in the Bahamas. - I wanna have an FCW taping again. - Paris Hilton should be dead. - Because of her, I will NOT be seeing House Of Wax. - Vincent Price deserves better. - I should have went to the bar today with Jason, but he was a buttface and decided to actually go to work. - McDonald's #2 value meal is still great, despite that Super Size Me movie. - I wish I was a dog living with an animal loving family. How awesome a life would that be? - Now I'm just staring at the screen with nothing to say. I'm leaving now. Bye, bye, bye... Kyle Current Mood: drained Current Music: David Guetta - "The World Is Mine"

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February 13th, 2005

05:43 pm - I think Cupid is gay Seriously, who wears a diaper and tags grown men in the ass? Anyway, my lady friend surprised me last night with my Valentines Day present, a brand spankin' new scanner/printer/copier combo! SWANK, MOTHERFUCKER. So, once I get that whole ordeal up and runnin' I should really be able to upload some artwork so I can get my website updated. After I get that updated, I'll be able to print out and copy flyers for the business end of things (I.Kyle!) and start to e-Promote myself on various websites, namely ImageComics.com. After that, sky's the limit as far as I'm concerned. It's definitely got me excited, to say the least. I just hope the machine stays in good shape and I can really do some stuff with it. All I can do is say thanks to my Sugar Mama, it's the best present she could have gotten me. I don't think she really knows how excited I am about getting it. Anyhoo, I'm back out to the Washington High School for another visit with the advanced drawing class. Hopefully something I show or say will have an effect on one of the students and enables them to better themselves. Hell, with all the help and assistance in my life the best teaching aid I ever received was a copy of "How To Draw Comics with Stan Lee" that I found at a Blockbuster in North County when I was younger. If it wasn't for that, I may have never really been able to do the kind of work that I do now. It's a good feeling to have, for sure. That's my time, holla. Kyle Current Mood: bouncy Current Music: Pre-game Pro Bowl show

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February 9th, 2005

02:47 am - 1-2-3-DAA!!! I'm taking a much needed break from drawing right now, so I thought I'd update this bad boy (which makes no sense, since I'm still working my hands). Progress is still chugging on with the comic, and I couldn't be happier with it. Troy and I were able to come up with a lot of great ideas for the book as far as scenes and things like that. I even think I've got a pretty good opener for the debut, but who knows. The first goal is to get distribution, everything else can be a concern afterwards. Later on I'm going up to the Washington High School to visit my old teacher and her advanced drawing class. Apparently I am to be the illustration whore and the class is supposed to praise me and bow before me as their lord. We'll see what happens, but I'm sure they'll be all, "Dag yo, you ain't even as good as that Jason Benton, and he sucks ass!", and I'll be all, "Yeah, but I ain't short", and they'll be like, "Sho' you right", and I'm all "Swank". Then we eat ice cream. Go fuck yourself with a curling iron. Tenderly I remain, Kyle Current Mood: ecstatic Current Music: The Black Mages - "Maybe I'm A Lion"

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February 4th, 2005

08:49 pm - Swank Your Penis Name is: 100% All-beef Thermometer Get your own Penis Name Beat THAT, bitches. Current Mood: groggy Current Music: The tick-tock of the wall clock

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February 3rd, 2005

08:03 pm - "Clever Title Here" I'm really starting to get aggravated at the fact that I seem to only have time to update this thing at work. When I'm at home during "free time" I'm usually trying to cram as much crap as I can into my nights just so I can entertain myself. Taking the time to jot down some thoughts doesn't take top priority. Of course now that I'm at work I seem to have all the free time in the world to pretty much whatever. Go figure. Of course, it's not that I'm technically allowed to be on the internet...or drawing in my sketchbook...or reading books and magazines, but I do anyway. I love my job. Hopefully I'll be able to get on first shift and open up my day a lot more. I'm actually pretty excited about the near future. I'm in a stalemate of sorts at the moment, but soon enough I should have some things going pretty strong on the art front. I've got some possible relationships lined up with various artists and whatnot that I've met all across the country, so the opportunity to get my name out there and establish a good foundation for myself in the comics field is great. Problem is that I don't have the tools needed to really compete with a lot of people, such as scanners, printers, high-end supplies, things like that. I do feel that I'm better than 50% of what's out there and I can compete with the rest on a decent level. It's nice to finally feel like I've got an honest direction to go with my abilities. I've always been so fearful of the art world and its well documented hardships ("starving artist", anyone?), but I truly feel like I've got a shot at doing something great and I don't want to mess it up. Worst thing I can do is rush myself though. I'm just not built for that kind of pressure: Staying up all night, forcing a creative-level from myself that just isn't there, being so drained and attempting to apply myself 100% to my work. I just can't do it. I'm not saying I don't have the ability to work hard and go the extra mile, but to draw "just" to draw when I'm not feeling that energy is impossible for me. I'm never happy with my art anyway, you can imagine the hatred I feel for it when I'm not at the top of my game. Of course the idea is to still do my own book, but hell, I don't have the coloring ability and I certainly don't have the writing ability. Hopefully my little brother can come thru for me on that and really blow me away. He and I have always had a special bond and even spoke on going into business together. What business? We never could tell, but the idea of working together was always exciting. Hell, we even wanted to get a place together, but I can only imagine the disaster of a living area that would have turned out to be. I'm not much for being alone all the time, and in a working environment I'm no different. That extra help or spark to ignite a new flame of creativity is always helpful, and Troy does that. As much as I need a lot of alone time, I'm not a loner, and being side by side with him in this future endeavor is my dream. Hell, working side by side with Jason would rock too, but I don't know if that would ever happen. We just aren't the same when it comes to art, I don't really think. Personally, I kinda like it that way. We do cross-over on some things, but ultimately our strengths are different (And I'm sure it's saved a lot of inner resentment for the other when it came to praise and high marks for one's work opposed to the other, haha). He's rich shading and wonderful still-life, I'm cartoons and caricatures; He's excellent colored pencil and paint, I'm comic books and design work. I've painted and done portraits and he's done caricatures and comic books, but we have our own particular strong points. Which is why I can't really see what we'd ever do together that would provide both our strengths. Maybe I'm wrong, but who knows. On a different topic, I'm getting married in a few months. MARRIED. What the hell, did I get engaged? The closer it gets and the more it's brought to my attention it doesn't seem real. I guess that's a good thing, or otherwise I guess it would be like not caring. Lucky for me I know what I'm doing or I'd really have that fear new husbands feel (did I just say HUSBAND?!). I'm gonna be someone's husband...Nope, still doesn't sound normal. But like I said, it's the best thing that'll ever happen in my life. Ok, I've rambled on enough and I've got actual work that needs to be done. Scarborough OUT! (God that's retarded) Current Mood: drained Current Music: None

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January 21st, 2005

06:04 pm - Slam-A-Lama Ding-Dong! Things to be happy about... - The 2005 Cardinals season. It's the last in the current Busch Stadium. I need to attend as many games as possible. Know what else I need? A Jack Clark Cardinals jersey in either home white or the old school baby blue. Swank. - Work begins tonight on the studio! Thanks mama, you're the best. - My day here at work is half over. That, in my opinion, is awesome. - I don't have HIV or AIDS! Yeah, I had a test done when I was at the doctor last, just to be sure. Didn't think I did, but hey, it's always good to know, na'mean? Besides, Union girls are usually hazardous to your health. - "Saw" is coming to DVD soon! Definitely a must-have for the KZA Kollection. - Got my tax return thingy back, so that means new car, bitches! Either gonna go with a Pontiac Vibe or a Scion. The hatchback, Vibe-like one, not that hideous van thing. - I had a really good sleep last night. Haven't been sleeping well lately for some reason, but I woke up today and felt awake instead of the usual groggy and bitter-at-the-world. Well, so I wasn't groggy, anyway. - October 22nd, 2005 @ the Washington Parks Building Thingy Behind The Pool (I outta put that on the invitation) is the location of the Naz & L-Boogie wedding. So that means Jason and Scott will be needing tux's. Ha. - My comic book is really coming along well. Everytime I go back to my sketches I get excited. I think it really has the chance to be popular. - Martha Stewart is still in jail. Ok, nothing more I can think of right now, so fuck off. Hugs and kisses, KZA Current Mood: amused Current Music: Just the voices in my head

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January 16th, 2005

07:34 pm - I'm Buff, I'm the stuff, I just peed on your toilet seat, You can't get enough... Today during roll-call a co-worker asked me what I had done the night prior (Saturday), of course assuming that I actually had a life. I almost spit out my coffee laughing. That would lead me to this, to which I offer (for no rhyme or reason): The Average Day In the Life of Kyle... 11:00am - Alarm goes off. It's set to the soothing sounds of Z107.7's shitfest of a musical lineup. 12:15pm - After hitting the snooze alarm a dozen plus times and suffering through the latest Kelly Clarkson and Snoop Dogg singles, I finally drag ass to the bathroom. Here I pee and brush my teeth. Yes, in that order. 12:30pm - I finish up applying all the trinkets and shiny things to my baby blue workshirt, load up for my trip to work (including cell phone, sketchbook, pens, bottle of water and my latest URB magazine) and let the First Dog of FCW out to relieve herself. 12:45pm - I stop by the Phillips 66/Amoco/BP Fas-Trip by Wally World and purchase a coffee and/or gasoline. 1:40pm - I arrive at work and struggle to find a parking spot. 1:43pm - After circling the garage approximately 3,729 times I find a place. 1:48pm - I decide having a job and paying bills is important, and eventually exit my car. 2:00pm - Captain goes over the last 24 hours worth of news in the building. My coffee is gone. I soon regret ever exiting my car. 2:20pm - I enter the pod where I'll be working. I've now decided that exiting my car was the worst decision I've made all day, besides brushing my teeth after peeing. 6:00pm - After officially being driven batshit crazy by degenerate leaches of my dear Mother Earth, I begin my dinner break. It's usually craptastic cafeteria food, but I'm too cheap to pay 6 bucks for a cold sandwich and chips at Saint Louis Bread Rip-Off a block over, so I make the 3rd dumbest decision of my day. 7:03pm - I should have been back in the pod at 7 o'clock or before, but I simply don't care. The inmates are not pleased. I feel a little happier inside. 10:00 - The asshats are snug in their terribly uncomfortable beds as I await my 3rd shift relief. I'm officially drained of any will to live. 10:35pm - I'm on my way back to the cozy confines of my beloved Washington, but not before dealing with infamous St. Louis traffic along South Hanley and westbound I-44. 11:17pm - I arrive at my sanctuary in Wash-Boogies version of a white trash ghetto. All the darkies live down by the railroad tracks. Stupid darkies. 11:30pm - I'm on the computer sleazing about the World Wide Web in search of something, anything, that will make my original decision to even get out of my bed worthwhile. Sadly, it's never found. 12:00am til 2:00am (depending on the amount of fun and exciting crap I've been able to do) - I become one with my couch as I munch on some Aldi's cereal and drink some chocolate milk, the drink of the Gods, I say. At this point I'm watching a DVD, the most recent have been Harold & Kumar Go To White Castle and Texas Chainsaw Massacre. Not exactly bedfellows, but they're both awesome. 3:30am - I finally wash away all the stink and filth of my job. Oh what I lovely feeling it is. Sometimes I've almost passed out standing up in the hot water. I'm not kidding. 4:00pm - I'm in the comfort and coziness of my bed and I waddle my sexy ass up next to my Sugar Mama. 4:08pm - I start to drift off to sleep...slowly...wonderful, sweet silence... 4:10pm - My skull is aurely fucked by the sound of Kelly Clarkson or Snoop Dogg blaring from Lori's alarm clock. *Sigh* The Next Day - Wash, Rinse, Repeat. I hope you've enjoyed this little rundown of my lifeless life. I bid you adieu'. Kyle Current Mood: nauseated Current Music: The chirping of jailbirds in county issued uniforms.

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January 12th, 2005

11:20 pm - He hates drivin' a bus, but he love five kids... I started this entry with a point, but I swear, in a matter of mere seconds I've lost any concern for wasting my time with this journal. I was in a good mood today too. Last night I headed out to The Apartment to meet up with Scott, Eric & Jay. Once again I've been doing great with poker, but it was the 3rd straight lose I've had, and 2 out of 3 have been heads up with Jay. Can't get too upset, because I've had my share of times knocking him out, but it still bothers me. Both times I've been chip lead going in, and it just doesn't work out for me. Ah well, it's a learning experience, and I think Mr. Juice and I have a bit of a poker rivalry going on. After the game Eric, Jay and I got some Jack N' The Box and headed back to The Apartment where we watched "Wrong Turn" on one of the movie channels. This morning I slept until 3 o'clock in the afternoon (awesome) before finally doing something with my day. It was awesome outside too, and I'm sure we'll pay for it sometime in the near future. After getting dressed I picked up some stuff for dinner tonight and a movie for myself. After making my favorite, fettuccine alfredo, we watched the Super Ultra Mega Deluxe Expanded Loaded Reloaded Platinum Titanium Edition of "LOTR: The Return of the King". Fun, fun. I suppose the reason for my discontent is the lack of concern I have for my job right now. I'd be willing to do just about anything, even working two jobs, if it meant being home more to see Lori and have a life. In due time good things will happen. Negativity doesn't last forever. So we'll see where things take us. On a side note, I'd just like to say to Mr. Matthew Creighton: Get over yourself. College pranks aren't uncommon, and the one we pulled on you was extremely tame given the track record of these gags. You've stolen peoples stuff, broke into people's homes and took a shit in a "friend's" swimming pool. Now, while that is extremely funny to me, it's horseshit that you think anything you've ever done is all well and good but what we've done is the single worst thing in the history of mankind. You want to lose friends? That's fine, because it's entirely your choice. Maybe you and Keith can be roommates and live with your own discomforts and blind ignorance when it comes to treating people, especially ones you're supposed to call friends. My life will still move on, whether you're in it or not. I'm extremely annoyed and have reason to be on SO many levels it isn't funny. I need to find new people and new hobbies in life. Wasting my time on the computer and playing cards all the time doesn't cut it. A couple things I'd LOVE to do would be to check out a film festival and attend the Comics Convention in San Diego or Chicago. That would just be incredible, in my opinion. I feel so stagnant where I'm at right now. But as I said, things come full circle eventually and all will be well. I'm just so god damn impatient though. Ugh... Kyle Current Mood: discontent Current Music: Malcolm McLaren - "About Her"

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January 5th, 2005

11:13 pm - Random (RE: Pointless) Thoughts from KZAtron... - Immortal Technique, if given the right stage, will become THE political and social activist of our time. Then he will be killed. - Linkin Park rule. - I sorta wish I was still wrestling. Wait, what I meant to say was: Noooooooooo... - Christmas is officially the 2nd worst holiday in the world behind the 4th of July. - Linday Lohan is deserving of 1,000 punches to the face. - Shaun Of The Dead is fucking classic. - Wasn't the "Vote Or Die!" actually helpful to Bush supporters? Vote or be killed by terrorists!!! - I hope my comic book takes off and I make a career out of it. Just so Scott can brag about me. - Sexy fat guys draw better than short dudes. It's true. - Why do I dig hip-hop so much when I despise most of its fans? - I hate junk mail. - I hate forwarded e-mails more. So I forward them again to people that I know hate them. - I wish my little brother would get off his ass and find a career. - Now I wish I'd get off my ass and pursue mine like I outta be. - I wanna live in Japan, drink Ichiban beer, eat Sushi and watch New Japan live. - I wish I would have went to college in Kansas City when I had the chance. - Lori needs to hurry up to the new Aldi's and buy me a busload of cereal. NOW. - I need to stop pretending that more than 2 people actually read this thing. You two are lucky I'm bored. - I get bored easily these days. I wonder if I have ADD or something. - You're a smelly pirate hooker, and I want to punch you in the ovaries. - I think Capt. Morgans Rum & Coke is my new favorite. - I hope Episode III doesn't suck. - I need to get a tattoo. A lot of 'em. - I'm really getting into a lot of anime stuff, but I refuse to be a retarded anime goon. - Anything called Bubblegum Crisis: Tokyo 2040 is officially awesome. - Poker is become Pro-Wrestling circa '98. 90% of the supporters are ignorant drones. - Man, I hope I get a new car when my tax return comes back. - I'm gonna go do something that doesn't involve a computer now. Zen 3030 Current Mood: recumbent Current Music: De La Soul feat. MF Doom - "Co.Kane Flow"

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January 4th, 2005

12:15 am - Happy Birthday, Jesus! You're still dead! Haven't posted anything in this sumumabitch for a minute now, eh? Well, do not fear for I am here. Hmm, where to start, where to start. How 'bout we kick it off with Christmas? Sounds peachy, let's begin... Well, first off, I worked on Christmas, and the day before, and the day after, and any other day that ever means anything. Now that I'm done with that bitching, I'll go over some things I got for said day of Christ. - Poker chips. Yes, Poker chips. The thing I probably could have done without since everyone I know has a set, but hey, they're mine, and they're awesome. - A 32" television. It's awesome, being all big and sexy and silver. Sorta like my car. - A gas grill. Not really for me, but Lori is a pretty darn good cook, and what a better way for her to show off those culinary skills than to make me food. - "HERO" on DVD. This movie owns my soul. - A sports jacket. It's actually kinda ridiculous looking, especially on me, but with an un-tucked white button up, sans a tie, and clean jeans, it's rather awesome looking. - A silver ring from my girlie. - Irish Cream. That is all that needs to be said. That's about it of any real worth. Everything else was just sort of filler. Pretty much got NOTHING I asked for except for the HERO DVD (thanks, mama), but I made out pretty well, nonetheless. And sadly, that's my whole holiday. Some presents here and there and little else, since I had to work. God I hate work. Let's just go ahead and fast forward to New Years. Well, in between X-Mas and New Years I've done quite alot of poker playing, and for the most part I can't complain with how I've done. Alot of 1st place finishes and most of the money involved. Not too shabby. New Years Eve I played in an 11-man tournament at my parent's friends house. I ended up taking 2nd and winning $20 bucks. Then it was off to my brothers place where I played a further two times, taking 1st the first game and last the 2nd. But, Lori took first and brought home the bacon from that game, so ultimately we both made about $35-$40 for the night. I can't really remember, I was smashed. Oh, that reminds me. 12 Coronas. Eat your heart out, Dialitex! That, plus some Crown Royal and Sushi, and I was rather sick the next day. So of course I spend it eating BBQ, drinking beer and playing poker with my family again. Yes, I have a problem. Not knowing when to quit. That goes for both beer and cards. It's sad. Otherwise, I'm in the middle of a vacation until I go back to work on Sunday or whenever. In the meantime I'm doing a whole lot of nothing, but hopefully I'll get my membership to the gym re-newed and I'll get back into that gig. I guess we'll just see. Capt. Morgans spiced rum and Coke. It's as smooth as a babies ass (Calm down, Matt). Happy '05! Jesus is still dead. KZA 3030 Current Mood: hopeful Current Music: The Rat Pack - "When You're Smiling"

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December 30th, 2004

03:58 pm - "And you will know I am the KZA, when I lay my vengeance upon you" That was a real random title for the entry, eh? One of the inmates in here asked me if I was a movie freak. "Motherfuckin' heck yeah", was my retort. He then asked if I've ever seen Pulp Fiction, to which I replied, "Do I look like a bitch?" (If you've seen the movie, you'd understand my humor). Anyway, Mr. Inmate wanted to know what bible chapter it was that Samuel L. Jackson's character quoted before he dropped down and got his Desert Eagle on, girl. Needless to say I could quote the entire passage and I'm now the coolest bitch-ass wannabe cop up in dis spot, ya hurrd? So...poker. Yeah, I have a feeling more and more people are going to lose interest in playing. Although I did have alot of fun last night. Not because I won both games (which makes me awesome), but because it marked the first time that those involved were all knowledgeable players. Basically, Matt wasn't there with his terrible first hand all-in's and Buekee just wasn't there. Period. Which makes The KZA a happy camper. Anyway, the main point being that if I lost the hand or lost an all-in, I was honestly beaten and deserved the lose. So, that basically means I can't be mad when I was behind in the hand and lost my chips. All you can hope for is luck in that situation. It's flat out being outdrawn by TERRIBLE hands that had no business being played that bothers me. 2 hands do come to mind from last night that were ridiculous. The first wasn't a big deal, but it was the end of game 2 with Keith and I and I had a mid-pair on the flop. I bet the flop, the turn and the river, and he stayed along with me, just calling. He had nothing but Q-J the whole time and hit a J on the river. I guess in my opinion he shouldn't be calling me down with nothing, and losing on the river is always annoying. Of course there's no real comparison to what's probably the hand of the game, and no doubt the biggest hand I had that allowed me to stay in it and end up with the win. This is of course my 7d-8d vs. Keith's Ad-Kd. At this point I'm severely short stacked, and what worked already (suited connectors) was hopefully going to have to work again, so with my 7-8 suited I pushed all-in. Keith immediately called with his A-K suited (keep in mind, they're the all the same suit). I basically had no chance of winning at this point, but in the biggest luck draw of my time playing poker I flopped the nut straight. Definitely sucks if it happens to you, but it was nice to have that much luck go my way for once. So what's going on for New Years Eve? I'm off work (well, not showing up is more direct) and I'd like to get sloshed and ring in the new year in a severely drunken state. I think I'm gonna watch 8 Mile when I get home tonight. I bought it for 5 bucks, which is a STEAL if ya ask me. Kasino Highstacks, Ruler of the WM-Unit Poker League Current Mood: tired Current Music: None

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December 28th, 2004

11:11 pm - Some people play tennis, I erode the human soul. Something I've been really getting back into recently has been wrestling, oddly enough. Not so much the WWE (which was actually pretty good this past Monday), but the old favorites like New Japan, Ring Of Honor, Pro Wrestling Guerrilla, and so on. It's still not what it used to be, but there's alot of great stuff going on out there. I'm just still surprised the wrestling popularity in Japan is so down like it is here. I guess since we (I) don't get to see it on a regular basis like the Japanese it seems better to me. Ah well, Masahiro Chono is still a living God among mortals. Speaking of wrestling, who wants to have an FCW taping? No, I'm serious. Like, this summer or something. Just a thought. A lot of alcohol and good times. I dunno, I'm feeling nostalgic. After I get things all moving in one direction in my normal life I've given thought into returning to wrestling as a whole. Nothing full-time, or hell, even in the ring, but to be involved again. It'll probably pass, but I did have a good time with NWA-MO, and I know they would welcome me back if I wanted to. Something to ponder, I suppose. Either way, I think FCW needs another hobby besides just poker. Not that I'm complaining, but sometimes it can ruin a night. When there's money on the line all the time (especially for those without jobs or that much money to play with) it can become a real downer. We should actually involve ourselves in a real sport...or something. I'm talking out of my ass. Yeah, I'm done. Chris Powell's favorite wrestler, Tommy Cross Current Mood: crazy Current Music: Jim Jones feat. Cam'ron - "This Is Jim Jones"

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December 22nd, 2004

12:54 am - The Rise & Fall of FCW I have no idea what the title of this entry is supposed to mean. I did, however, watch The Rise & Fall of ECW DVD over at the Cave Reloaded tonight with the Strubberg Clan, and it was extremely awesome. Definitely makes you wish for those days you were the biggest fan in the world and also makes you HATE wrestling at the same time. Oh what could have been. More trips to South County, I'd imagine. I do think it's cute though to see all the independent promotions out there try to be ECW even to this day. Anyhoo, I highly recommend checking that out. There was a ton of stuff in there that I didn't even know. Also tonight we gathered once again for another night of Texas Hold Them. I myself went 1/2, which I'm pretty proud of. The first game that I lost, I just wasn't feeling right for some reason. Playing bad hands I shouldn't, calling raises I knew I couldn't win, and so on. So, I regathered my composure and took the second game, which was surprisingly over in just one hour of play. Which reminds me, Buekee still owes me two dollars, so the juice is running, Napoleon. Meh. I'm tired, so I'm gonna go...somewhere. I can't decide where. I really don't feel like sleeping, but lying down. I'm gonna go put a movie in and crash on my comfy couch. Just finished Snatch, so I need to pick something else. Watched all my Matrix collection already (which I also highly recommend), so can't really go there. I would have bought some movies with my poker money, but with it being Christmas and all I don't want to ruin someones present. Stupid Christmas. God damn God and his stupid son. Jesus Walks...with Guns, 3030 Current Mood: bored Current Music: Loreena McKennitt - "Huron 'Beltane' Fire Dance"

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December 20th, 2004

01:59 am - What's REALLY good?! Fucking hell I'm tired. Stupid poker and it's constant need to always flow over into the late morning. Ah well, I did go 2/3. It seemed like just as I was losing faith in my Hold'em abilities and focusing my efforts on Omaha, I've been doing really well in all of my recent Hold'em outings. It seems like 99% of the time I'm either the winner or coming in 2nd. Not that coming in 2nd matters, since no one I know really does ranking gameplay, but I've been doing really well, so that makes me a happy camper. Christmas is coming up in less than a week. Huzzah. Is Christmas really coming? Sure doesn't feel like it, eh? At least it doesn't for me. It's my first Christmas away from my family (in the not-living-with-them sense of the word) and it's been kinda hard sometimes. Not that I don't feel at home here with Lori, obviously I do, but still, 22 Christmas' with Mom and Pop versus 1 complete Christmas with someone else doesn't quite weigh evenly. It's cool though, because someday in the next couple of years I'll have my own family with my own children. I honestly can't wait. So...work...yeah, it sucks real bad. Especially today after I'm still feeling the effects of the long night and steady beer intake. I didn't get drunk by any means, but god damnit if that shit just doesn't stay in my system for a week. I should be going to bed, but hey, this wee hours of the morning shit is Kyle Time and I enjoy using it. If I can't be home with my Sugar Mama then this is the next best thing. I'm hoping that during my time off from work I can really make some progress with my comic. The story I'm working with is really solid (Thanks, Josh!), but I've tweaked the original idea somewhat. Alot of the sketches I have are really coming along well. I basically want to get this damn room set up in my "studio" so I can organize my ideas alot better. After that it's pretty much just getting a general idea on the story and layout of the book and I'm set. I'm such a perfectionist (I know, doesn't show) that it kills me. I'm sure after all the long hours and high stress levels I'll end up hating it or something. Just my nature, I suppose. Ultimately it's up to the fine people at Image Comics (or wherever else I may send it off to) to decide on its fate. I really wish I had the skill of coloring and/or knew someone who could hook that up. I personally am not a fan of black and white comics, but right now that's what I have to do. Also for anyone who will eventually read or come across my stuff, I'm forwarning you, alot of terrible Japanese wrestlers will be used for inspiration in the book. If you aren't knowledgeable of the puroresu, then lets just pretend I never said anything, mmm-kay? So are there gonna be anymore poker games coming up? I'd like to play one on New Years Eve. Then again, I don't even know what I'll be doing that night. We'll see when the time comes. I do know one thing, and that's that I'll be ridiculously intoxicated WELL past the legal limit. One big bang to kick off the new year and (hopefully) alot of good things for Lori and I, financially. We've got a little bit of debt and whatnot and I'd like to see all of that get taken care of. Plus getting a new car (Pontiac Vibe, baby!) and moving forward with my comic and 3030 Studios. I'm excited, to be honest, if not a little apprehensive. Just my terrible paranoia kicking in, it'll pass. I wonder what my lil' homie Jason is gonna do now? I'm sure he's probably reading this (since I think he's the only one), so I'll just say that I wish you the best and I'm positive you'll come out on top somewhere. Just always remember who taught you how to turn lumpy comic characters into muscular works of art. And hey, if you ever get a hair up your ass about creating some business or need a partner, well, I can draw too. A little. I DID go to ECC, ya know. Picaso, DaVinci, Crow. I need not say more. Holy hell, well, I'll go ahead and stop this long tangent of nothingness and call it a night. I doubt I'll update this until after the celebration of Baby Jesus is over, so until then, have a Happy Winter Festival! (that outta piss some people off) I, Kyle Current Mood: sleepy Current Music: Juelz Santana - "Right Now"

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December 17th, 2004

02:14 am - NUMA NUMA YAY~! Wanna see the most ridiculous thing ever? Go check out http://www.newgrounds.com/portal/view/206373. If Josh and Juntii made sweet love by candle light, this would be the abomination that would be a result of that encounter. So, what's going on in the Life and Times of Razmatazz...Well, I'm slowly formulating quite the following of potential customers for the biznass I got goin'. Has me rather excited, to be honest. If I can attract alot of people and potential buyers just from them looking over my shoulder or checking out my sketchbook I tote to and from work, then I wonder how I could fare after I advertise myself to the general public. I've actually would of had business cards and flyers done by now if it wasn't for this whole being laid-off thing. My priorities aren't my hopes and dreams at the moment. As soon as I pick up with St. Charles next month and things get back on track I'll be ready to go with it all. Then of course there's the actual construction of my studio here in the house. The lady friend wants to paint the room and make it all snazzy looking, which is fine with me. My ultimate, ultimate dream? To have a working business where I live off of the money I make doing projects. I want my business to be called I.Kyle, and I work out of my studio which of course is called 3030 Studios. That's my long-term goal, to get to that point. Then on top of that I'm still working on a comic that I intend to shop to Image Comics in hopes of catching a distribution deal. Even though the two are different, I'd still push it as I.Kyle/3030 Studios. Intrigued, aren't you? Other than that, there's the WM-Unit Poker Tourney this Saturday entitled "Uncanny X-Mas". Clever, if I do say so myself. Outta be a funtacular time, even if it does involved Keith and John in the same room. John better watch out, Keith IS a bulldog. Or something. "Sicker than your average", K.A. Scarborough of I.Kyle/ 3030 Studios/ FCW/ WM-Unit/ Black Circle Theory/ The International Tommy Cross Fanclub/ Your Mothers House/ Jelly of the Month Club/ I-Can-Draw-Better-Than-Jason Club/ etc.... Current Mood: lazy Current Music: O-Zone - "Dragostea Din Tea"

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December 12th, 2004

11:07 pm - A drunken day in the life of... So this past Saturday was my better half's christmas party put on by her employer. For a quick rundown of the past 2 parties we've attended, it goes like this: 2002, Double Tree Inn, I got smashed/ 2003, Harrah's Casino, I got smashed. Of course that brings 2004, Hyatt Hotel at Union Station, I got smashed. As you may have noticed, there tends to be a theme involved with these celebrations of Jesus' birthday and the company owner's buttload of money. Saturday, 10:30am - I'm awoken from my slumber. I am not pleased. 1:45pm - We're on the road and headed for Da Lou. 1:57pm - We're stopped in Pacific due to a random "Service Engine Soon" light coming on. Engine is attended to by the ever-knowledgeable auto-mechanic team of Lori and Kyle. Nothing LOOKS out of place. Good enough. 2:00pm - Back on the road. 2:50pm - We arrive. Valet parking. Right on. 3:10pm - After checking in we arrive in our room. King size bed. Large bathroom. Good thing, for I shall be here more than once in the morning. 3:30pm - Out in Union Station for some shopping and a bite to eat. I pick up a sweet Cardinals skullie and red, white and baby blue sweatbands that match my pimptacular Cardinals fitted hat back home. 4:30pm - Back in the room. Lori does her hair. I spread my large frame over the larger bed frame. World Poker Tour is on television. Swank. 6:15pm - Dressed in the only shirt and tie I own, we arrive at the party. The first 7&7 is ordered. 6:40pm - After finishing a 2nd 7&7, I'm told of a funktacular martini bar. Never had one. I order the chocolate martini. I fall in love. 7:15pm - Mark, the company owner, shakes my hand. I'd be gay for his money. 7:30pm - Dinner is served. 5th martini finished in 50 minutes. 1 hour and 15 minutes in, and the vision is severely impaired. 8:00pm - During the course of the meal, a further 3 7&7's are consumed. I apparently had filet mignon. I hope it was worth it, Mark. Time:Unknownpm - I somehow manage to win a raffle prize and grab a couple DVD's. Man On Fire and 50 First Dates. I then somehow manage to not fall over to and from the raffle table. I get another drink. Time:Unknownpm - Roughly 8 or so 7&7's and 5 chocolate martini's later, we call it a night. Not before dancing to a live rendition of "Wonderful Tonight". The band was called Everyday People. Everyday Clapton they're not. 11:00orsomethinglikethatpm - An early end to the evening, but YOU try and stay awake at these boring functions. Happy birthday Jesus, free alcohol is the bees knees. Sunday, 2:30am - I wake up from my drunken slumber. The room is hot, I'm dehydrated, I've got faggot-ass feather pillows to sleep on, and I suddenly need to visit the bathroom. There's a telephone on the wall next to the toilet. I contemplate calling the inventor of alcohol and giving him a piece of my mind. Of course I cannot actually do this. I don't have his number. 9somethingam - After an hour and a half of discomfort, I fell back asleep only to be awoken by a terrible accented voice yelling, "Housekeeping!" all down the hall. America, the land of opportunity. Afternoon - Lunch at Rich & Charlies pasta place in Eureka. I visit their bathroom facility as well. 5:00pm - Lori and I see Blade Trinity. Pretty cool. Line of the movie: "You cock-juggling thunder cunt!". That was my glorious weekend away from work. I hope you all had a fun time on this magical journey as I did. If only they were serving Corona's, then I'd be cool, right Eric? KZA Current Mood: drunk Current Music: 2pac feat. Elton John - "Ghetto Gospel"

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December 7th, 2004

03:23 am - The Threefold Puja 1. Opening Reverence We reverence the Buddha, The Perfectly Enlightened One, The Shower of the Way. We reverence the Dharma, The Teaching of the Buddha, Which leads from darkness to light. We reverence the Sangha, The fellowship of the Buddha's disciples, That inspires and guides. 2. Offerings to the Buddha Reverencing the Buddha, we offer flowers: Flowers that today are fresh and sweetly blooming, Flowers that tomorrow are faded and fallen. Our bodies too, like flowers, will pass away. Reverencing the Buddha, we offer candles: To him who is the light, we offer light. From his greater lamp a lesser lamp we light within us: The lamp of Bodhi shining within our hearts. Reverencing the Buddha, we offer incense: incense whose fragrance pervades the air. The fragrance of the perfect life, sweeter than incense Spreads in all directions throughout the world 3. Reverence to the Three Jewels We reverence the Buddha, and aspire to follow him. The Buddha was born as we are born. What the Buddha attained we too can attain What the Buddha overcame we too can overcome. We reverence the Dharma, and aspire to follow it With body, speech and mind, until the end. The truth in all its aspects, the path in all its stages, We aspire to study, practice, realize. We reverence the Sangha, and aspire to follow it; The fellowship of those who tread the way. As, one by one, we make our own commitment, An ever-widening circle, the Sangha grows. Current Mood: contemplative Current Music: Rob D - "Furious Angels (Clubbed To Death mix)

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