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June 8th, 2007


04:37 pm - I can SEE!!

For the last week I've been forced to wear glasses. I hate wearing my glasses. Hate. It. So. Much. I was gonna force Ed to drive me to Cedar Grove to pick up my emergency pairs in my backpack, cause I wa sdesperate. But I went to the eye doctor today and got some. So all is well! Though my eyes are getting PRETTY bad. I think legally blind is like -12 or something, while I've got -8.5. So SLOOOOWLY I'm getting there. Which is not a good thing. At all. O.o

I put in two applications/resumes to Lincoln Park Zoo today! So here's hoping! And I just got a message from Brookfield about them finally receiving my application/resume that I sent in over a month ago. But hey, better late than never, right? Right! So now I'll be watching my phone like a hawk! WANT... JOB!!!


Current Music: "Evolution" - Hamasaki Ayumi

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June 4th, 2007


01:55 pm - Time for an update...

So I'm beginning week three of being a college graduate. I've got a shiny new degree, that holds in it my shiny Bachelors of Science. And what do I have to show for it? No job. 

Sadly, my first round of applications was a bust. :( So second round of applications goes out this week. I'll be spending tonight filling those suckers out. All like 7 of them. I never thought getting a job as a zoo keeper would be so hard. I thought I would be a shoe in. Good gawd, was  I wrong.

So for now, I'm still settling into my new place, aka, Ed's condo. It's nice, I like it, though I wish I could move more of my stuff in. Not really enough room. I had to get rid of so much of my things. Gave most of it away to friends or Good WIll. At least it all went somewhere beneficial. All the same, it was hard. Even my adorable little car... who was on the very last leg of her life, had to be donated. Rawhide Boys Ranch, treat her well! She was my baby. :( I promised she'd be pampered by boys if she just lived until the school year. She kept her word, so I hope I kept mine.

I guess I'm just hitting a bit of a depression. I feel useless with no job. Ed says that I should take my time and get a job I enjoy, but I don't think I can. I need to start making money. So I can pay for car insurance, so I can visit my sister and my brother, so I can go and start looking at areas for my wedding. And talking to churches. I need to get moving on this stuff.

Alrighty. I'm gonna finish up this cup of tea and get going on those applications.

Is it weird I don't feel any different? Shouldn't I *FEEL* like a graduate?


Current Location: Chicago
Current Music: 'Stranger Like me' Phil Collins

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May 17th, 2007


05:38 pm - All a-shore that's going a'shore
Well! It's been four years in the making, but I'm just about done with college. My grades are starting to trinkle in and commencement is on Sunday at 2.

Ed, my daddy, and Donna are gonna come! I'm excited. Plus I'll be graduating with Rachel, Casey, and Kay! Plus Keith, Laell, Mike, and a  bunch of my CNR buddies.

I can't believe it's really almost over!

Annnnnd I still don't have a job yet.

Fuuuuuck.

I'll do my Top 50 Things I Learned From College post tomorrow or Saturday! 

Maybe even Monday, when I'm moved into my new home. ;)

Anyway! I'm off to make brownies for Girl's Night In tonight! Possibly the last time I see some of my friends!
Current Music: 'Other Side of Me' Hannah Montana

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May 3rd, 2007


11:46 pm - Tomorrow
Do you KNOW what tomorrow is? Do you?

It's my second to last Friday EVER! Cause technically, my finals are done on Wednesday in 2 weeks, I don't have Friday class/final, so this is my last Friday before the Friday of finals weekend ever! Like ever! The only way I'm going to grad school is if they (the mysterious they) pay for it and watch over whatever future children I have. Somehow, I don't see that happening. ;)

It hit me, walking to class today, the sun all warm and... well, sunny on my face, that I'm only going to walk that one path a few more times. I'm going to run up the stairs, stop to say hi to the little monitor lizard (which is actually pretty big) and run into various profs for a few more days!

How cool, right? WHOO! I'm excited and nervous and scared and happy all at the same time!

Glamorous baby, so glamorous!

Eeee!!!!
Current Location: Stevens Point
Current Music: "Glamorous" Fergie

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April 30th, 2007


10:19 am - Almost over!

I woke up today after an eerie dream about a past-friend who will not be named and realized that sometime, in my sleepy state, I decided not to go to class for the millionth time and sleep instead. 

It was at this point that I started thinking about how many classes I have left of the class that I skipped (Good old Plant Tax!). Well, not counting todays that I happily skipped... I've got 3. Well, 3 lectures at least. That's it. Then I'm done. Then I'm completely done with school. After those 3 lectures, I'll be finished. After finals. But then sweet, sweet freedom. It's almost too hard to grasp!

I'll be moving into a condo in Chicago with my fiance and (hopefully) starting a new job, if the freaking zoo will ever call me back! If not starting with a new job, than continuing to klook for jobs as well as maybe starting to volunteer at the animal shelter or the aquarium. Oooooooh! The options are endless! 

Also, it'll be time to submerge myself into planning my wedding! I've got ideas for dresses, which I will not post, for fear that Ed will see them! But they are lovely! I've got ideas for colors and dresses and the place! But I need actual planning to begin! Angie, my maid of honor and my sister, is already throwing herself completely into this. ;) Gotta love that enthusiasm, I guess! :D

Yasmine will be my flower girl/miniature bride. Dommy will be my ring bearer, I think. Unless Ed would rather one of his cousins to do the job. I'll need to ask. Braydon and Sofia and whatever the heck my brother's kid's name will be will all be too young. Yasmine is excited, cause Angie told her she'd get to be a miniature bride in which she responded "I get to be the bride?!". We explained, no, not exactly the bride, but a little version of the bride. She said "So I'm the bride!" Well, who are we to shoot down her dreams. ;) So long as I''m the one to say 'I do!' ;) 

Hee! So I'm excited for Ed to come up this weekend! It's been forever since I've seen him, almost a month and a half. A girl can only take so much. I'm gonna take him on a tour of the campus, casue I never did before. Along with a possible tour of the Brewery! Cause what's cooler than that? :D 

Hmm. I should get dressed and geared toward actually going to class at 1. Got no choice, really. We get our papers back and will need to start working on corrections.

Bleck.

Alrighty, people! That's all for now!


Current Location: Stevens Point
Current Music: "Why Wait" Belinda

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April 10th, 2007


06:57 pm - Now wait... HOW MUCH!?

Alright, so I've been in this thing where I'm buying a bunch of Bridal magazines! In one of them, I got this cool little booklet that says what is all needed for a wedding and gives you places where you get to put the price in and so on and so forth...

There is also a spot that gives the estimated amount for a wedding. 

$19,375.

Now! Subtract $3,000 for the honeymoon and $1,500 for the wedding planner (I'm doing this myself, damnit!) and that leaves me with... 

$14,885.

So, roughly 15K for a wedding. /15K/!!!!

HOLY FUCKING SHIT!!!

My girlfriend Rachel is planning her wedding now and will be getting married this May. Her total cost for the wedding, roughly around $3000-$4000 I think. What about other people? Those of you who are married and actually have a ceremony or are going to have one? What's the prices look like, if you don't mind me asking.

I just can't believe how expensive! I mean... I guess I can, but SERIOUSLY! Holy COW!


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March 30th, 2007


10:51 am - Cause you all deserve to know...

How it all happened!

I just wanted to give everyone on my LJ the link to my write-up on my proposal. I know a few of you have seen this already, but a bunch haven't! And there are PICTURES! Wheee!!

No pictures of the ring up close yet, sadly. Ed won't let me take my own picture, something about wanting to do it himself. ;) Silly boy. 

Anyway, click on over to http://www.vitriolic.org/viewtopic.php?t=328

That'll give you the entire write-up and everything. It was really awesome!! And now some of my friends are squeeing at me, trying to get me to start looking at dresses already!

I gotta be strong and wait till after graduation. Graduating is key!

Anyway, there you have it! :D Pictures of the ring to come, the next time Ed gets up here. :D 

Have a great weekend everyone!!


Current Location: Stevens Point
Current Mood: [mood icon] bouncy
Current Music: 'I'm Fed Up' Alizee

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March 21st, 2007


01:47 pm - Big news!!!

Alright! I'll have a complete and full version, with pictures included in a week or so, but for now I just want to let everyone know...

I'm engaged!!!

Ed proposed to me on Monday of this week, with a pack of wolves surrounding us! :D As said, I'll give the entire story in a few days, once we've got the pictures and everything. :D But for now, I just want everyone to know that I'm actually engaged! I have an amazing, wonderful awesome fiance and a  big, beautiful ring!

Pictures to come of both! :D :D

EEEE!!! I'M GONNA GET MARRIED!!!!!!


Current Location: Chicago
Current Mood: [mood icon] ecstatic

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March 11th, 2007


06:09 pm - Fucking group projects.
I'm totally cool with my 490 group, they rock, they all do their part, it's awesome.

I love my partner for Wildlife 451, she rocks, knows her shit, and is always willing to work and get together to get our management plan done.

I am NOT happy with my Wildlife 458 partner. I've done almost all the work. No almost about it, I've done all the work. I just sat in the library for 3 hours, researching and making an entire power presentation that isn't done yet, cause I ran out of steam and needed to eat something before I passed out. so that means I'll have to work on it more tomorrow. I did send him an e-mail, telling him where I would be and when, did he show? No. Has he e-mailed me at all about the stuff I've asked him to do? No. So who is trying to get both parts of the presentation together before Wednesday, becuase this project is about a fourth of our grade? Me. 

Gawd. I want to be out in the real world, where I can get these fucking slackers FIRED for not doing their part of the fucking job.

Geez.
Current Location: UWSP
Current Mood: [mood icon] angry
Current Music: 'So What' Ciara

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February 9th, 2007


05:17 pm - UGGGGGH!!!
Oh. My. God.

ENOUGH OF THIS COLD! Seriously, I want it gone and I want it gone now! The cold has hurt my poor car! She's spluttering for life, barely able to make it! Even AFTER paying almost $300 to get her better. The poor thing just wants to die. :( Soon, car, soon the sweet embrace of death will sweep you over. you just gotta get through a few more months!

I want it to be warm again. I wanna go and take my ice skates and go skating, but it's supposed to be below zero all weekend. I want to not have to worry about my car.

I want, I want, I want. :(
Current Music: 'Year 3000' The Jonas Brothers

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February 5th, 2007


02:52 pm - Well FUCK!!

So the pipes in our apartment froze because it was -25 in Point.

Soooo... now we have to keep at heat at 80 degrees to unfreeze them. Do you have any fucking idea how much this is going to cost me in heating!?!?!  MEgan and I can't afford this shit. We're POOR!

But at least un til I get the bill, I can remember what it feels like to be warm.


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January 24th, 2007


04:39 pm - WTF!?

Yeah. Hi. UWSP? Uh huh. See, this is supposed to be my last and easiest semester, to y'know... give me ample time to find a job.

I have 14 fucking credits. 14! And one of those credits only goes mid-way through the freaking semester! There is NO reason why I should have as many huge ass projects that I do! This is my SECOND SEMESTER SENIOR YEAR! I have SENIORITIOUS! Got it? STOP MAKING ME STRESSED OUT!!

Seriously. Only. 14. Credits.

GAH!

I'm only supposed to sit around and ice skate this semester, but nooooo. No ice skating time for Amber!

Fuckers!


Current Location: UWSP
Current Mood: [mood icon] pissed off

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December 17th, 2006


08:34 pm - Who doesn't wanna study!?
I DON'T!!!!

No, seriously. I really don't.

True, I've always studied for 2 hours, and am only taking a break right now to get some food. Then it's study for another hour before bed, wake up early, study before the final, and then take the final.

This will all be occuring in the next 12 hour period.

Yesss.

Now, for those of us who are still going through finals, I give you this widely known poem.


Twas the Night Before Finals

Twas the night before finals, and all through the college,
The students were praying for last minute knowledge.
Most were quite sleepy, but none touched their beds,
While visions of essays danced in their heads.

Out in the taverns, a few were still drinking,
And hoping that liquor would loosen up their thinking.
In my own apartment, I had been pacing,
And dreading exams I soon would be facing.

My roommate was speechless, his nose in his books,
And my comments to him drew unfriendly looks.
I drained all the coffee, and brewed a new pot,
No longer caring that my nerves were shot.

I stared at my notes, but my thoughts were muddy,
My eyes went a blur, I just couldn't study.
"Some pizza might help," I said with a shiver,
But each place I called refused to deliver.

I'd nearly concluded that life was too cruel,
With futures depending on grades had in school.
When all of a sudden, our door opened wide,
And Patron Saint Put-It-Off ambled inside.

His spirit was careless, his manner was mellow,
When all of a sudden, he started to bellow:
"On Cliff Notes! On Crib Notes! On last year's exams!
On Wingit and Slingit, and last minute crams!"

His message delivered, he vanished from sight,
But we heard him laughing outside in the night.
"Your teachers have pegged you, so just do your best.
Happy Finals to all, and to all, a Good Test!"

And with that, I wish everyone who is about to undertake their winter finals a good luck. Gawd knows we all need it. Badly.

LAST YEAR OF WINTER FINALS EVER!!!!!!
Current Location: Bedroom
Current Music: 'Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays" Nsync

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December 16th, 2006


10:16 pm - Cheetah-licous Christmas, baby
I hate the weekend before finals. It blows. I feel likeI have a MILLION things to do, when I really don't. I just gotta study. But I've got that all sorted out for when I will study for what and so on. So I'm trying to give myself a day of light studying for Pop Dy and Physics, but it's like... bah.

It doesn't feel like Christmas at all. Maybe it will when I go by Ed's on Wednesday. I'll be staying at his place during my entire break. Memo to self: Ask Jie to pick up mail. Or at least Amanda. Someone!

Comet will be with us, which I'm looking forward to and at the same time fearing. Gah.

Anyway, Amber's freaking out cause of finals, my grades aren't half of what they should be, and I feel the urge to scream out, shake someone, or do SOMETHING to get this extreme amount of frustration out.

I can't even sleep anymore. I wake up every hour on the hour choking myself with my blankets, I thrash around in my sleep so much. It's getting exhausting.

Only 4 exams. All of them could make or break my GPA.

No pressure.

Someone shoot me.
Current Location: My room
Current Mood: [mood icon] restless
Current Music: 'Cheetah-licous Christmas' The Cheetah Girls

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December 1st, 2006


02:11 am - It's 1:00 am...
Do you know where YOUR boyfriend is?

Cause I know where mine is! He's being the biggest sweetheart in the world and editing my Species Account for me.

Thank you honey!!! I love yoooou!!!!!

:D
Current Mood: [mood icon] exhausted
Current Music: 'Stick to the Status Quo" High School Musical

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November 19th, 2006


03:03 am - Siiiigh
There are some nights where I can tell myself it's almost over, Amber. Not to much longer and all you've ever wanted will be within reach. And I can go to sleep with that thought in mind and a smile on my face.

And then there are those nights where I lay in my bed alone and yearn with all my being that then is now and that the waiting is over. Those nights are always the hardest.

Damn, I miss him so much. I can't wait for the future, cause that means no more lonely nights and I get to be with the man I love full time.

Only a little longer Amber. You can do it! Cause it's so completely, totally worth it!
Current Mood: [mood icon] lonely
Current Music: "Nobody Home" Avril Lavigne

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November 13th, 2006


08:48 pm - Ready for the end
Do you ever have those weeks where everything in the world seems to hit you at once? Ever have about three of those weeks in a row? Cause that's about where I am right now.

I can't take these damn midterms anymore, they are taking what is left of my brain and making it into mashed potatoes. I seriously can't. My grades are so freaking sporatic, I don't even know what the hell to fix anymore. One exam I get a 65%, the other a 96%. WTF?! Then I get the highest mark on a lab practical, but a C+ on the lecture exam. I just can't keep my brain going for much longer. I need mindlessness, lots and lots of mindlessness.

And oh my gawd, my family. I won't even get STARTED on how fucked up my family is right now.

All I want, all I've ever wanted, is to have a normal holiday season. I don't need gifts or trees or snow. I just want everything to be blissfully normal and have my loved ones all around me.

But no, it doesn't work that way.

I just want to wake up in the morning, and not get scared about every single phone call I get. I want to be happy when I see someone other than Ed (annnd a few friends) is calling me. I want to stop cursing at the phone and telling it not to RING! Cause I know it's not Ed or the select other few and that means something bad is happening.

My heart can't take this all much more.

I need my winter break. I need it to sit down, get my ass together, and to look towards the future. Only a semester and a half. Then I can put one stressful situation aside and start a real life. A real life that'll actually have a great beginning, a great middle, and a great ending.

I just need to get the past to leave me alone. I can't fix it. I just need to keep telling myself that.

Maybe someday it'll actually sink in.

Maybe.
Current Mood: [mood icon] crushed
Current Music: "Even Angels Fall" - Jessica Riddle

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November 5th, 2006


06:54 pm - Panic attacks
Oh, panic attacks! Something I don't have time for and something I can't begin to deal with.

But this one just keeps going on, and I can't seem to stop shaking, but I've got two exams to study for and a paper to write, all by tomorrow (paper is due Tuesday, but no time to write it tomorrow).

This semester has just about defeated me. My grades suck, my ability to remain cheerful is null and void, and all Iwant to do lately is curl into a ball and sob. It gets harder and harder to leave Ed to go back to Point and I'm starting to wonder if all of those work towards my degree is seriously worth it.

I'm so close now, I'm going to finish, but it doens't make the doubts stop.

I just need to relax, I need these mid-terms to be over, and I need a vacation. A few days of not worrying about my faling grades and my stress. Graduation creeps ever closer, and as much as I yearn for it, I want to run from it as well.

Just a month and a half left of this semester, Amber. You can do it, you've got no choice.

Then I'll need to start looking for a real job.

Oh gawd, I'm not ready for life yet.
Current Location: Bedroom
Current Mood: [mood icon] stressed
Current Music: 'Breaking Free' High School Musical

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September 18th, 2006


11:02 pm - Quick thing...
Hey guys, just have a quick random question.

For those of you Ax and TH people, do you remember that moronic game we used to play with the little animal-people? I remember a few people for sure who played it. We used to run around and piss people off. Mwahaha. Anyway, I was just thinking about that and tried to remember what the hell it was called.

I'll be doing a REAL update in a day or two, talking about MY interesting weekend.

Hahaha!

Geez.

Later folks!
Current Location: My room
Current Mood: [mood icon] rushed
Current Music: 'Life is a Highway' Rascal Flatts

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August 19th, 2006


12:05 pm - One day to go!
So Ed and I are gonna be doing our last day things, today. We gotta pack, go pick up at other little things we need, and clean the house a little before we take off. WHEE!

Yesterday, I got my last thing I really needed: Sunglasses.

Now, I'm normally a cheapass when it comes to anything I buy. But Ed wanted me to get a good pair that would last. So, I got something I never would have guessed to own.

Prada sunglasses.

I'm seriously turning into a twit. ;) They are WAY cute though! I'll try to find a picture or I'll just wait till Ed takes a picture of me with them on. ;) Either way, I own Prada! MWAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

I never thought those words would come out of my mouth. ;D
Current Location: Chicago
Current Mood: [mood icon] excited
Current Music: 'Unwritten' Natasha Bedingfield

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