My mother is refusing me to allow me to spend the night at Tara's apartment based purely on the fact that *she's* not ready for me to take that kind of step in the relationship. Apparently staying the night adds a whole new dynamic and you shouldn't do it until you're ready - I mean, you don't go home and you wake up somewhere other than your house! (Her actual words.)

Fuck, you know, mom, all last week while you and dad and Robert were away? Every night. Every fucking night I fell asleep in her arms and it was the most blissful, innocent thing in the world, and you're going to deny me that because YOU don't feel ready for it. It's MY fucking relationship. And you know what? Fuck you if you think I'm going to miss living here. I can handle washing my own dishes and paying for my own food if it means I can live without these bullshit curfews and rules, having to tiptoe around your fragile idea of the perfect little daughter.

I have worked my ass off for you all my life. All I ever did I did it to please you and dad. I got an eighty fucking average this year. I got a fucking 2,500 dollar scholarship. I got a lousy fucking summer job to help pay for tuition, even though, fuck, you could easily pay for it all yourself instead of buying that new TV we don't need, or that new furniture we don't need, or, fuck, throwing that ten thousand fucking dollar party last summer that apparently YOU needed to make yourself feel good about being fifty. I love you, honestly I do, but would it fucking kill you to throw me a bone every once in a while?

All I want is to be held through the night - to not have to wake up alone. You say you understand that, but I can see in your eyes you think I'm just a stupid, infatuated teenager, blinded by my own hormones.

Fuck.

As soon as I'm out of here Tara better come and stay the weekend. Maybe we'll even fuck, mom. How would you like that? Tell me to slow down my fucking relationship, you don't even know anything about my fucking relationship because you get too uncomfortable to talk to me about it. You don't express any interest in it, don't try very hard to hide how uncomfortable it makes you.

Well guess fucking what, mom?

A week from now I'm on my own. I'm going to be fucking drinking underaged and having sex with another girl, living with two guys, both of which I've fucked. I bet you didn't know that.

Fuck.

Tags: family, rants, tara
Current Mood: pissed off

"Equality is not a novel idea, society is just full of assholes."
-My Girlfriend

I dunno, maybe I'm biased, but I think that's a great quotation. Also, ha ha - you all just lost the game.

Tags: awesomeness
Current Mood: amused

So my side is killing me. My dad is up on the roof cleaning the gutters, and he needed my help to hold the ladder while he climbed to the higher portion of the roof from the overhand outside my brother's room. Climbing back into Robert's room I caught my side on the catch for the window screen, and now have a big red scratch, the area around which is a beautiful inflamed red, half way up the side of my torso.

So, my brother's at golf camp since yesterday, and he's been playing Halo 3 religiously since he got it a few weeks ago. I had this dream that I went downstairs and the Halo 3 was running, and his friends were entreating him for his help. Rather than make him seem uncool to his friends by signing out without explanation, I decided to pretend to be him and play in his stead. They needed help completing this campaign, and me and two other guys were stuck in a bunker of some sort, and there was this alien thing that would kill us if it saw us, so we had to kill it before we could start trying to find a way out of the bunker. It started out as like a green, textured blob, and then it morphed into like... a Khajiit from the Elder Scrolls games. Except not one of the lanky ones, one of the tough ones. And it was right where all our equiptment had spawned, so he took all our awesome guns and armor. So we were like, hiding behind crates and like "SHIT SHIT SHIT" while he was shooting us. And finally me and this other guy got like... a couple of semi-automatic guns of some sort. And we aimed at its unprotected face and just pelted it with bullets for like... five minutes. AND IT STILL WOULDN'T DIE. And then later it's guns ran out and its armor broke, and we were like, "Oh good, now it's less dangerous." Nope. It's like... lunging at us, throwing the crates aside, and ripping through us with these intense strikes. It was a very difficult campaign, considering this guy wasn't even a boss. He was like... an easter egg or side quest or something.

And I had another dream about being on a Disneyland log flume ride where it malfunctions / construction is happening and they still put people through it. It was like the Pirates of the Carribean ride, if you've ever been on it. It's like... underground cave canal things. This is the second dream I've had about these malfunctioning boat rides in a row. :/

And then. AND THEN. I had a dream about talking to my supervisor at work and having her flirt with me. Like, we were sitting on a bed and talking about things? It was weird and really flirty. I'm not even attracted to her all that much IRL. o_O

My side huuuurts. Rar. Anyways. I better go help dad get down from the roof. Oh! And yay, new Great Big Sea album. I went to see them in concert two nights ago with my folks and my brother. It was awesome.

Tags: awesomeness, dreams, pain
Current Mood: amused

So, I have a history of saying funny things at the dinner table right as my dad is drinking something. The first time, he shot milk out his nose all over our 'fancy' meal (meaning we ate in the dining room instead of the kitchen.)

So today we're talking about whatever. He was trying to get me to have some wine with dinner, just because he's a goof like that and he gets a kick out of treating me like an adult. The conversation goes something like this.

"Hey Lauren, you want some wine with dinner tonight?"
"Nah, I think I'll stick with milk."
"Next time."
"Wine is gross, anyways."
"One day you'll grow to like it. It's one of the many things I'll teach you as time goes on- an appreciation for some things."
"So you're teaching me to like wine whether or not I want to."
"Pretty much."
"So what am I teaching you?"
"Oh, you know. Music-"
"The appreciation of punk rock?"
"And writing, and art and stuff."
"And the intarwebs."
*chortle* "Yeah, that." *takes a drink of wine*
"Okay, first lesson. The internet is NOT a series of connected tubes."

And then dad proceeded to turn bright red, trying to keep his mouthful of red wine in his mouth, giggling and hyperventilating, and of course, that makes mom and Robert and I start laughing and laughing. So of course I shout, "Shoot it out your nose dad! Wine out the nose!" He's laughing so hard while keeping his mouth closed, and he gets up to run for the sink. And as he starts his hurried trek to the bathroom, all that built up pressure finds another escape, since he's so determined to keep his mouth closed. He starts tooting. And doesn't stop. Short bursts of hilarity with every step towards his sanctuary- and of course, the rest of us are ROARING at this point. It's really just the icing on the cake. He got to the sink finally and spat out the wine, and he comes back laughing, wiping his mouth, and informs us that the wine pretty much exploded from his face and began to describe the big sploosh of wine pretty much coating the bathroom sink. I was in tears.

Life isn't so bad, you know?

Tags: family
Current Mood: cheerful

The territory belonged to another pack, but when the Juyii moved in, with their reputation for fierce warrior-like loyalty to the motives of their strong-willed alpha, the pack moved out without protest. And so the Southern Lakelands were claimed in the name of the Juyii. But that wasn't enough for Connahei, who could see that to be Alpha of a single pack simply couldn't satisfy what he knew had to be a grand destiny- his destiny. He was meant, believed Connahei, for more.

And so he took his pack to war. He fought the tough, wild folk of the mountain range packs, the sly and quick plains packs, and whoever remained in the ashlands that had once been his territory. Anyone who would not submit to him as the Wolflord and grant his pack access to their territory and their prey at any time were fought until they conceded, or, in extreme cases, until they were all dead or run away. Many died. The Juyii became tattered and jaded, and a large number deserted this new, power-hungry Connahei. Since Left-Step's death, he'd slowly but steadily become a monster.

Those that died in battle were weak, he said, and those that fled were traitors. Soon his pack was made up only of the toughest and most loyal of his followers, many of which were wolves from opposing packs who defected, identifying Connahei as the stronger force, and so the superior leader. With the packs chased off, wiped out, or subjugated, Connahei declared himself The Wolf Lord, and renamed his followers, the war-like and often brutish crew that was left of them, The Wolf Lord's Legendary Warriors, or Legends for short.

And that was how things came to be how they are now.

http://aspectofthewolf.proboards84.com/

Tags: roleplay

I am trying to get these scene from out of my head and into a picture. It isn't working! And this angers me. It's supposed to be two lion cubs, one cowering in terror while another approaches, looks on (I guess) while being encouraged to attack this other kid by his dad.

I... am angered by my inability to make any of this look right. XD