Saturday, September 27th, 2003
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4:43 pm - Ill
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Right cold is 10 times worse...and think I got a temperature so mught well be flu. I hate feeling like this, got no energy...nearly fell over walking from my rom to the toilet...and it's only across a narrow corridor.
No one here to nurse me better. My mum offered to come and pick me up so I could at least have a comfy bed, home cooked food and being looked after, but I'd have to come back tomorrow evening and I aint up to the travelling.
God knows how I@m gonna manage to cook some tea. I just about managed to make a bowl of soup for lunch. Could just fancy someone going down to the chippy and getting me a small portion, a bar of chocolate and some lemsip max strength capsules....but no one's here to even do that for me :-(
Last night Ben was soo noisy when he came in as well. woke me up big style what with banging his door, having a mate stay over so the were talking all night etc. Errin aint back yet ether, but i've had a few texts and she still wants to go for a birthday drink...not sure I can move.
current mood:  sick
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Friday, September 26th, 2003
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10:25 pm
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I've got a cold and only just realised....my nose won't stop running and I cna't stop sneezing. :-( damn Asa he said he had one on Tuesday night when I stayed at his, told him he wans't allowed to give it to me.
current mood:  groggy
current music: Williams - Feel - Robbie Williams / Feel
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(comment on this)
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9:11 pm - In on a Friday evening... :-(
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So it's friday evening of Freshers week and I'm in on my own...summat doesn't sound right there. But really it's my choice. I could have gone out with Ben and the lads, but I'm shattered from last night (I must be getting old) Plus we're out tomorrow night for Errins birthday and I cna't afford to be out every night when my loan aint cleared yet.
But it doens't half feel weird being in the flat all alone. Ah well.
current mood:  bored
current music: feat L.V - Gangsta's Paradise feat L.V
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4:40 pm - Interview
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I feeling a bit better now thank god.
Well thankfully in some ways it was canceled, guy's still off sick, so I've now got it tuesday evening at 5.30. So fingers crossed for then.
I've been a busy bee today....I've rearranged the kitchen again...it seemed daft when we had a spare socket on one wall and on the other wal we were constantly unplugging and plugging things back in, So now we can have everything plugged in at once. I then did all my washing by hand...and there was loads of it. Tidied my room cos it was a complete disgrace and then hoovered my room carpet and the flat corrider. Oh adn I cleaned my trainers and downloaded netbeans for my pc then I can do my uni work on it.
this morning in uni I did my first ever bit of Java programming...woohoo...and it worked first time. hehe! I'm so impressed with myself. lol! Ooh and I lied when I said no fit blokes on my course...he just hadn't ben to anything previously....omg though he's mighty fine. hehe and he's in all my lectures tutorials and labs so I think I'll be getting to know him very well. ;-)
Well I'm in on my own probably tonight. Errin has gone home for the night cos it's her birthday tomorrow and thus the birthday of her twin brother who was murdered 5 weeks ago. Martin's gone home again for the weekend...apparently one of his friends is having a party....male friend again. :-s
I swear Martin must be gay or something. He'll have really long convo's with Ben and just ignores us. And Asa did think Ben looked gay when he met hm so maybe Martin does to hehe!
current mood:  indescribable
current music: Jones - Come Away With Me - Norah Jones / Come Away With Me
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11:33 am
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Omg am I rough today. Last night was cool though...good to get a night out again. But today isnt. Had to be in uni for 10 and I've got an interview this afternoon probably....if they ever get back to me. I'm dreading it. feel like I@m gonna throw up. Suppose I should eat but I can't face food even though I know it will make me feel better. Ate so muh when I got in lat night I was such a pig.
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Wednesday, September 24th, 2003
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8:40 pm - Uni and stuff
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Well yesterday I finally properly enrolled and registered. 3 hours of bloody boredom, after 2 hours of the stuff the day before. But hey only 45 mins to do tomorrow and another 45 mins on Friday left this week and I've had today off which was nice.
Got my timetable yesterday. I'm in for 15 hours a week so should have plenty of time to get a job.
Been offered a couple of interviews, one this friday for the role that I went for last time...they'[ve finally got back to me...so fingers crossed cos I do really want that and it's probably starting next week as well. Another for the Manchester hospital in admin...but the interviews been scheduled for a time I've got a lecture, and I'm not sure now I've got my timetable whether I can really do that either, so I need to phone the person in charge and talk to her about things. Still applying for other jobs though so should get one.
As for flat mates, the lass who's in, Errin, is really nice, get on with her sooo well can talk for hours and like all the same sort of things. Ben is on my course so we've had all teh registration things together which has been cool and let me get to know him since he's hardly ever around the flat. Martin on the other hand no matter what we try we can't get a conversation out of him. Ah well...supposedly going on a flat night out tomorrow night and he's meant to be coming so hopefuly we can get to know him then. Tried inviting him down to the bar with us tonight but he made some shitty excuse up about being skint. lol!
Was over at Asa's last night. Was so nice, even though he did upset me at one stage. We watched die hard 2 first all cuddled up on the setee, then went to bed and snuggled for a while before deciding we were both horny hehe! So it got to 2am and we just led there talking. Been so long since we did that properly. Just reminising opn the past to each other, learning more about each other. Those talks always make me feel so much closer to him, wish they happened more often, but can't have everything can I.
But I just wish he didn't work the hours he does, well no at the moment I don't mind. Yeha I don't see as much of him as I@d like, but it gives me the ability to focus on uni properly. But I cna't ever settle down with him working those hours, it would kill me. I know I'm being selfish cos it's what he wants to do, and I feel so guilty for telling him that I couldn't, but I'm just being honest. I can't have kids with someone who doesn't finish work till 8.30 at night and works a lot of weekends. They'd never see their dad and it aint on. I know lots of folk are in that situation, but I feel strongly about it. With my Dad having died when I was 9 I know how much I know treasure the time I had with him cos he worked 9-5 and was always around. Also know I shouldn't be thinking that far ahead, but he means so much to me I can't help it. I know it's not right now and no way would I, but he does mean the world to me and being with him makes me so happy and makes me feel so special I can't help but want to always be with him.
Anyways best go get down to the bar for a few drinks and see what the place is like.
current mood:  ditzy
current music: Morissette - Forgiven - Alanis Morissette / Forgiven - sonique
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(comment on this)
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Sunday, September 21st, 2003
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1:34 pm
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The Dante's Inferno Test has banished you to the Sixth Level of Hell - The City of Dis!
Here is how you matched up against all the levels:
Take the Dante's Inferno Hell Test
current music: n Dahl - Castles In The Sky - Ian Van Dahl / Castles In The Sky - sonique
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1:28 pm
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current music: Valance - Harder They Come - Holly Valance / Harder They Come
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(comment on this)
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Saturday, September 20th, 2003
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10:38 pm - ....
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Not heard anything back from the interview yet...should do either mon or tues to see if I get through the enxt stage. Applied for lots of others though so fingers crossed I@ll get one of em.
Well all the flats in now. Not that anyones around tonight :-( Got two blokes and one female plus myself. Martins gone home for the weekend....not that it makes much difference since he still doesn't speak. hehe! Ben is out with mates cos he's been living in manc for a year already so knows lots of folks. And Aaron (I'm sure thats what she said her name was :-s) has had to go home for a mates 21st tonight. which leaves me all bored on me tod. lol!
Had Asa stay over last night....says he not sleeping in my bed again. It aint that bad when ya get used to it, but I will be glad when I get me new mattress.
Anyways I pretty tired and not been feeling too good all day so I off to bed.
current mood:  lonely
current music: Williams - Rock Dj - Robbie Williams / Rock DJ
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(comment on this)
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Tuesday, September 16th, 2003
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1:47 pm - Uni
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Well I've finally moved in. Only 1 person in so far and he moved in yesterday as well called Martin. seems nice but very quiet.
Got internet set up obviously which is abonus, keep me occupied when I bored hehe.
Got a job interview tomorrow. well it's with an agency but for a job I applied for the other day online, so I got me fingers crossed that it goes ok.
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Wednesday, September 10th, 2003
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9:07 pm - Uni accomm
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Well I've moved half my stuff over today. Wish it ahs to be said has wrecked my already sprained shoulder. But rooms aint a bad size and pretty nice tbh. Decided not to stop even though one of my flat mates has already moved in, although he wasn't very visible today so who knows where he was hiding.
So anyways I've not got till Monday to pack the rest of my stuff up before I properly move in. Then I aint sure how long it will take before I get my internet connection sorted in my room.
Definately need to buy a tv card for my pc cos there aint room on my desk for my pc and a tv hich is a shame. So an already skint student is going to be even more skint. lol.
Anyone know any part time jobs going in Manchester city centre?
current mood:  tired
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(1 comment | comment on this)
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Monday, September 8th, 2003
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11:11 pm - ......
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Well it's a llong long time since I wrote in here. One thing or another and I forgot about the place. Anyways what I been up to/ Not a lot. Went on holiday to Corfu with my Asa for a week which was fun. Other than that not much really since I aint even had a job for the past god knows how many weeks now.
Well I@m packing up for uni at the mo. Going to collect keys etc on Wed so I'll keep ya posted on satte of room then.
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Wednesday, May 14th, 2003
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11:40 pm - Ah well.... :)
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Here is the result of your ACL 400 Point Purity Test.
You answered "yes" to 273 of 400 questions, making you 31.8% sexually pure (68.2% sexually corrupt); that is, you are 31.8% pure in the sex domain.
Your Weirdness Factor (AKA Uniqueness Factor) is 43%, based on a comparison of your test results with 81267 other submissions for this test.
The average purity for this test is 65.1%.
The first submission for this test was received June 17, 1994.
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(2 comments | comment on this)
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1:10 am
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| Your Ultimate Purity Score Is... | | Category | Your Score | Average | | Self-Lovin' | 33.3%
When I think about you - or anyone - I touch myself | 62.8% | | Shamelessness | 31%
Puts 'em on the glass | 77.8% | | Sex Drive | 21.1%
Humps fire hydrants when nobody's looking | 76.1% | | Straightness | 0%
Knows the other body type like a map | 42% | | Gayness | 62.5%
Had that experience at camp | 80.9% |
| Fucking Sick | 61.1%
Dipped into depravity | 88.7% |
You are 37.6% pure
Average Score: 70.7%
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(2 comments | comment on this)
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Wednesday, April 30th, 2003
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12:57 am - Tired
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Right I was going to update this with a really happy post. But i@m too tired so all I'm going to say is yippee back with Asa. lifes's great I'm happy. Good night :)
current mood:  high
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(4 comments | comment on this)
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Monday, April 28th, 2003
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7:21 pm - ?
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Still questions, still tears.
How can I smile so much yet want to cry. How can I be so cheerful yet be ciompletely miserable inside. yet how at the same time can life be making me buzz and have a want to be happy. everything had just fallen into place and now the bit of life that had kept me going recently has gone. what next time. who's gonna be there for me when this really hits home.
I just want answers to my questions. Just want to understand rather than feeling that it's stupid and pointless.
I just want a hug. I hate these tears that are rolling down my face but what can I do. I miss him I know I'll survive. I always do. But he promised he wouldn't do this to me, don't promises mean anything to anyone any more? He stole my heart before we got together, he knew that. why? I can't be friends now. but i've lost the most important person in my life. The person I can share everything with.
and all without a reason. it doesn't feel right.
What is it about me. Why can't I just get a decent bloke. Why when I actually want to stay with ne don't they with me. God there's enough guys I've been with who I aint wanted. Why can't the ones I want want me as well?
I'm confused and hurting, just wish I could speak to him in person about it, or at east he'd have let me talk in person for a while. rater than keeping everything to himself. It aint how things work.
current mood:  frustrated
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(15 comments | comment on this)
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1:13 am - .....
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scared, frightened, upset, crying, fearful, lost, hurt, betrayed, confused, wanting answers but fan't get them. Yet glad at thet same time.
How can he d this to me. whats changed. why am I single, would he ever had told me if I hadn't brought the topic up, why online not to my face, why he break his promise to me?. so many questions I can't write them all down. crying to much. so many emotions how am I meant to only chose one for this post? can't type any more. had enough. eye's are tired, I need my bed. doubt I'll sleep though.
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Friday, April 11th, 2003
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9:02 pm - Woohoo!
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Yay...at last Asa has his mobile back working, can text him and get replies. :) Me missed his ikkle texts to cheer me up for the last few weeks.
Well todays been dull and boring, bet you can all guess where I've spent my day by now so I won't even bother. lol!
At least I've just avbout filed my form in for the students loans people now, will finish the last bit off tomorrow. Then that's all sorted for me.
had a phone call from one of my mates of lycos chat today...was a good laugh. lad called Neil, but his screen name is chorlton.nthewheelie so you can tell what sort of person he is. Makes me laugh all the time. Is a complete perverted sod though. But we agreed that when he moves to manc we're gonna go out for a drink or two. hehe!
Will be going to see the Chippendales on my mates birthday...2nd wed in may I think it is. ?18.50 ain't so bad I suppose. Will be a good laugh, all the screaming girlies out together. hehe!
grr...I should know not to buy french wines, I've never liked any I've tried so why the hell did I do it tonight. I'm struggling on the bottle, only drunk 2 glasses in like 4 hours....oops! Must start downing them, maybe I won't taste it then. lol!
So back to the drinking, thought I'd post sober tonight for a change. hehe!
current mood:  cheerful
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12:33 am - Whats been going on then...
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Erm well not a lot really.
Had a second interview for that job the other week and didn't get it...apparently I'm too nice for a job in sales....I've just been dong the exact same job with no troubles though...hmmm!
My car's just had to go in, the drive shaft on the passenger side had buckled, so that's another ?80 gone that I don't have to spend. grr....why's it going wrong so much at the mo. Spent nearly 300 on it since Xmas in repairs.
other than that nothing really stands out that should be said.
Done my food shopping and been on the net. yippee! lol.
I'm depressed at the mo guys, so you'll have to forgive my short dull lifeless journal entries. sorry!
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Monday, April 7th, 2003
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11:26 pm - Another boring day
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Why can't I sleep at the mo. I'm shattered, yet when I go bed I don't sleep, I wake up ridiculously early. It ain't good for me. ANyone know any remedies?
Hmm....well still addicted to lycos chat, but never mind. I like being popular what can I say. It's fun...although I will have pissed one person off tonight...what a shame though ;)
went into town for a bit this aft. Had to buy some more bananas....yeah I am starting to get sick of them now, but I've got 26 to get through now so I'd best not think like that. Saw one of my mates when I went into BK She works there, but not for much longer me don't think. Had to go on the errands to pick job application forms up from all the local shops after that, help her get out of the place. Not that anywheres really recruiting at the mo, especially not for part time like she wants. :-/ Gave me a good excuse to go and talk to Asa though...hehe!
So got home about 6 from all that and been sat here ever since chatting away. But hey at least I get lots of promotions...I'm only doing it for rank honest. :)
Ooh had a phone call earlier to say my second interview is tomorrow afternoon at 3.30...about the only vaguely interesting thing to talk about today. Must remember to do some research on the company tomorrow morning before it or I'm gonna be in shit.
But bed time for me, lets see if I can sleep tonight or not!
current mood: tired
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kazbo's journal