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At Home He's a Tourist [Thu, 4-Dec-2003 3:13 PM]
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[music |Gang of Four -- At Home He's a Tourist]

We were having dinner at a Thai restaurant, and got to do some quality evesdropping on the family at the table behind us. It started off badly enough: the dad was telling the little girl that she'd better work really hard on her reading homework this month, because when they moved to Las Vegas after Christmas, she was already going to be the new kid, and if she also couldn't read as well as the rest of them, she'd be really unpopular. And he was doing this in condescending baby-talk. I remember being 7 or 8, and I might not have known the word "condescending", but I sure did know it when I heard it. So I hated him already.

Shortly after that, the waiter came over to take their order. Just before he got to the table, he said something to another waiter in non-English.

    Dad:   What language was that?
    Waiter:   Thai.
    Dad:   Oh, Taiwanese?
    Waiter:   Um... no, Thai.
    Dad:   But Thailand is in Taiwan, right?
    Mom:   They're two different places...
    Dad:   But they're both in China, right? Or Japan?

The waiter made some kind of embarrassed noise, presumably hoping he could just get to the taking of the order. At this point, I think dad might have gotten the slightest inkling that he'd just made an ass of himself, so he switched on the full-bore Marketing Weasel charm and started talking to the waiter like he was glad-handing him at a trade show:

    Dad:   Hey, what was your name again?
    (I loved the "again" -- he'd never been told the guys name and he knew it!)
    Waiter:   Ben.
    Dad:   No no, what's your real name? Your Thai name?
    Waiter:   "Ben."

At this point, we couldn't hold it in any more and burst out laughing.

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Comments:
[User Picture]From: [info]brad
Thu, 4-Dec-2003 3:18 PM (UTC)

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Wow.

What a jackass.
From: [info]jotunheim
Fri, 5-Dec-2003 12:02 AM (UTC)

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Ugh. Those pushy parents!
I'll bet money that his daughter will have mental problems and will suffer from abusive relationships in her life later on.

She's going to end up the opposite of what he wants his daughter to be.
From: [info]sjc
Thu, 4-Dec-2003 3:20 PM (UTC)

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I'm afraid of Americans.
[User Picture]From: [info]kumimonster
Thu, 4-Dec-2003 3:23 PM (UTC)

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ooh that's a good one

and everyone knows all them lil orientals all look same!
[User Picture]From: [info]josephgrossberg
Thu, 4-Dec-2003 3:52 PM (UTC)

where are you from?

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"Where are you from?"
"California."
"No, where are you *really* from?"

And my gf's Chinese-American classmate got told "Welcome to our country!" when she was walking along the Mall (DC).
[User Picture]From: [info]thealien
Thu, 4-Dec-2003 4:15 PM (UTC)

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Well, honestly, they all do look the same. I mean, sure, if someone's in traditional garb, I can probably tell you where they're from... If they start talking, I've got a shot at it.

But I can't pinpoint the country of origin all the time just from the facial features.

This is why I avoid guessing. I just know I'll offend someone... "Oh, you must be from Sweden." "No, I am from Finland, you jerk!"

This is by no means a local thing, either. Someone I know travelled in Afghanistan back in the day. He says people thought he was a Pakistani. He was from England, but had lived in the US for quite some time before that.

All 'those' people do look the same. Or more correctly, they all look different. People from one part of China don't look like people from another. The same former boss, being quite the world traveller, also related a story about being with a Japanese man in Copenhagen who mistook some Chinese people for Japanese.

Ahem. My point being that it's not necessarily easy to see a random person in jeans and a tshirt and know what country they or their ancestors were from.

Of course, not knowing that Thailand is a country is pretty bad.
From: [info]secularkangaroo
Thu, 4-Dec-2003 3:31 PM (UTC)

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Ignorance can be found anywhere.
[User Picture]From: [info]ydna
Thu, 4-Dec-2003 3:33 PM (UTC)

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Pathetic Americans
[User Picture]From: [info]tfofurn
Thu, 4-Dec-2003 3:35 PM (UTC)

wedding DJ

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When my Thai friend married a Taiwanese woman, I was the only groomsmen not of Asian descent. At the reception, the DJ pulled me aside and asked if he should play "China Doll".
[User Picture]From: [info]jette
Thu, 4-Dec-2003 3:46 PM (UTC)

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Oh my. I think a therapy jar for that little girl is in order.


That's from [info]mrmustard. He wrote once that he has he keeps an old mayonnaise jar in the house, and every time he makes a parenting error (such as swearing or losing his temper) he puts a few bucks in it, in case the kid needs therapy one day.
[User Picture]From: [info]mykwud
Thu, 4-Dec-2003 4:04 PM (UTC)

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Dad: Ben, the two of us need look no more
We both found what we were looking for
With a friend to call my own
I'll never be alone
And you my friend will see
You've got a friend in me

Ben, you're always running here and there
You feel you're not wanted anywhere
If you ever look behind
And don't like what you find
There's something you should know
You've got a place to go

I used to say
I and me
Now it's us
Now it's we
I used to say
I and me
Now it's us
Now it's we

Ben, most people would turn you away
I don't listen to a word they say
They don't see you as I do
I wish they would try to
I'm sure they'd think again
If they had a friend like Ben
Like Ben
Like Ben

Waiter: Please stop that.
[User Picture]From: [info]recursive
Thu, 4-Dec-2003 4:07 PM (UTC)

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And I thought "King of the Hill" was fiction.
[User Picture]From: [info]baconmonkey
Thu, 4-Dec-2003 4:28 PM (UTC)

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dad should work on his geography and cultural awareness homework, or else when they move to las Vegas, he's going to be really unpopular in the business world.
[User Picture]From: [info]jiritsu
Thu, 4-Dec-2003 4:33 PM (UTC)

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stupid americans
[User Picture]From: [info]greyface
Thu, 4-Dec-2003 5:07 PM (UTC)

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I think it's time for JWZ to drop the other shoe, and inform all of you that he was from somewhere else (say: Italy, Spain, Russia, Tadjikstan, Indonesia, whatever). It's odd that so many people are being condescending about Americans, when as far as I can tell they're just assuming that the dullard was one. (I guess the "Tourist at home" subject is moderately telling. Oh well)
[User Picture]From: [info]gordonzola
Thu, 4-Dec-2003 5:08 PM (UTC)

You forgot to put in the next line ..

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"Ok Ben, then let me ask you a question. . . Have you ever thought about life insurance."
[User Picture]From: [info]lars_larsen
Thu, 4-Dec-2003 5:49 PM (UTC)

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Every time I meet someone, this happens:

idiot: "What is your name?"
me: "Lars"
idiot: "No, what is your REAL name?"
me: "Lars"
idiot: "Lawrence?"
me: "No, my name is L_A_R_S"
idiot: "Is that short for something?"
me: "No, my name is Lars, thats it, just Lars"
idiot: "Ohh, I'm sorry. Well nice to meet you Lawrence."


I really need to make a tape recording of my responses to those questions, and just pull it out and pause it during their questions.

[User Picture]From: [info]bigbrother2084
Thu, 4-Dec-2003 5:57 PM (UTC)

ironic...

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Just a couple of weeks ago [info]alostrael and I were dining at a Thai restaurant and I had eavesdropped on a nuclear soccer family debating on how to use chopsticks and the father told the family that you were supposed to band them together at the end with rubberbands...

I told Alos I thought we should follow him to a steakhouse or something and eat with our forks like two year-olds and let them know that this is how you're supposed to do it...
[User Picture]From: [info]stonemonkey
Thu, 4-Dec-2003 6:01 PM (UTC)

Perhaps the booze was talking....

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...this made me think of a recollection by Jackie Chan doing Cannonball run:

"I remember that Sammy Davis, Jr. came up to me and said "Gozaimas!" every day. Which I later learned that he thought meant "good morning" in Japanese. "You're a famous cat in Japan , right, man?" he'd say. And i'd tell him, "No I'm not Japanese. I'm Chinese." And then he would say, "Right, Chinese. Sayonara!""

[User Picture]From: [info]publius_ovidius
Thu, 4-Dec-2003 7:50 PM (UTC)

The Beauty of Yakima, Washington

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I was visiting a friend in Yakima, Washington, a tiny town out in the middle of nowhere. We found a decent restaurant and while we were eating, I listened to a young lady complain about her date to the school dance. It seems that he was only interested in the other boys who showed up at the dance.

At this point, an elderly gentleman who appeared to be her grandfather said in a somber voice 'my dear. The polite term is "limp wristed"'.
[User Picture]From: [info]chromal
Fri, 5-Dec-2003 7:19 AM (UTC)

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Wow, what an ass! Like, a cliche of an ass.

I don't care for his bullying style of parenting, but that aside, anyone who generalizes a people and then attempts to push that generalization onto them... well, deep ass suckage. Which made me wonder about those "stupid american" comments which are... just... as... bad... A little ironic.
[User Picture]From: [info]cetan
Fri, 5-Dec-2003 7:41 AM (UTC)

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"If it weren't for my horse, I wouldn't have spent that year in college."
[User Picture]From: [info]jwz
Fri, 5-Dec-2003 6:25 PM (UTC)

irony: officially obsolete

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I'm apalled that so many of the responses to this story -- an anecdote about a small-minded prejudicial dumbass -- are small-mindedly prejudicial in exactly the same way.

I guess I have to spell it out: there is absolutely no difference between saying "all look same" and saying "stupid americans." Anyone who would say either is a bigot. Yes, you.

What the hell is wrong with you people!
[User Picture]From: [info]vsync
Fri, 5-Dec-2003 11:00 PM (UTC)

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Hmm, this seems more like a gruntle than anything... I was surprised to see it posted here instead. Are you changing your writing habits, being assimilated by the "blogosphere"? Or were you just hoping for the responses you got, enabling you to shake your head sadly and explain how your cynicism has been deepened?

[User Picture]From: [info]grumpy_sysadmin
Sun, 7-Dec-2003 5:03 AM (UTC)

I think the important question here is...

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... "How well did he tip?"