| Asian Cuisine |
[Dec. 8th, 2005|02:51 pm] |
B&G Guy #1: "Hey, we're Williams College, so we should be progressive in everything, including how we de-ice our sidewalks."
B&G Guy #2: "I know, let's use Soy Sauce instead of salt. That way we are more inclusive of the school's international students." |
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| How I made an ass of myself in front of a prestigious Harvard scientist. |
[Nov. 13th, 2005|10:39 am] |
On Friday the Chemistry Department, and in particular the new program they've started on Bioinformatics, invited a prestigious systems biologist from Harvard to give a talk here. As I am in the Bioinformatics class, I, of course, was required to attend the talk, and then that night, go to dinner with the scientist at my Professor's house.
So the dinner started off fine, I was sitting at the table with the guy and he was really nice and we were having a nice conversation about things having nothing to do with science (thankfully, since I fell asleep during his talk earlier in the day). After dinner, those of us at the smaller, secondary table joined the other big table for desert, and the guy started talking about his lab.
Now, talking about some guy's lab is not exactly the most interesting subject to me, so my mind started to drift and I kind of zoned out. Then I heard an interesting sound to my right, and I looked over.
My professor's dog was, like, going to town on its crotch. I've never owned a dog, so I don't know if this is common behavior, but this dog is just lying on the ground, vigorously attacking its crotch.
So I'm a bit taken aback, and I look around to see if anyone else is noticing this. They are all enrapt with the speaker. I look back, and the dog's still at it.
So of course, try as I might to hold it in, I bust out laughing.
The speaker just goes dead silent, turns and stares at me. Everyone else in the room turns and stairs at me.
I keep laughing.
See the problem was, I wanted to convince the guy that my outburst of laughter wasn't me being like "Oh my god, what you just said was such bullshit", like he took it. But I also didn't want to admit in front of 15 people and a prestigious Harvard scientist that I found a dog licking its crotch so hilariously funny.
Anyway, I hope that dog was really enjoying itself. Because I just lost any chance I ever had of getting a job working for that guy. |
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| Wait... |
[Nov. 9th, 2005|07:48 pm] |
Why does Princess Small Arms keep calling me by my father's name?
That's just creepy. |
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| Famous Genetics Lab Characters |
[Nov. 8th, 2005|02:50 pm] |
After three years of Genetics labs, I have identified the following archetypes in genetics labs:
1. Overbearing kid. Always wears gloves no matter what. Likes to ask worthless questions that he thinks sounds intelligent.
2. Clueless lab parter girls. Very spacy. Not even started the lab by the time most people are halfway through.
3. Hotshot. Kid who is always done first and never asks questions (this was me).
4. Girl who thinks she's too cool for bio lab. Asks condescending questions to the effect of "Why the hell do I have to do this?"
5. Overbearing kid's lab partner. Deserving of sympathy.
6. "Bickering old married couple" lab partners. Usually both guys. But that's ok, because this is Massachussetts.
7. Worthless TA. Usually the male TA. Me.
8. Unfortunate TA. Has to put up with being paired with the Worthless TA. Answers many questions. |
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| Halloween |
[Oct. 31st, 2005|04:14 pm] |
| [ | Tags | | | costume, halloween, spaz | ] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  thankful | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Soundgarden - "Black Hole Sun" | ] |
Halloween is one of my favorite college holidays because I get to look at all the people going to classes in stupid costumes and be thankful that I'm not a complete spaz like that. |
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| The art of the flaming shot |
[Oct. 30th, 2005|08:57 am] |
The following story is true, if you don't think it makes me look like an idiot, and made up if you do think it makes me look like an idiot.
After knowing my friends for three years, I have somehow gotten it into my head that I can trust them. Now I am not so sure.
I was in my room last night, sober (which probably only makes the story worse), and there was a small gathering going on out in my common room, and I heard them all calling my name, so I went outside. They were all gathered around the bar (Yes, we have a bar, no, I'm not an alcoholic). They all call me over, and they're like "Do it! Do it!" and indicate a flaming shot on the bar.
So I'm all, "I'm skeptical, both because it's on fire, and because of the chance that it will singe off my facial hair."
So the guy behind the bar, the friend the rest of us affectionately refer to as "Dad" due to the fact that he makes sure the rest of us make it to all of the meetings and classes we're supposed to go to, and the one I assume is at least somewhat responsible, assures me it's ok.
He tells me what to do - put my hand down on top of the shot to put it out, then take it.
Well the part of this situation I was not introduced to ahead of time was the fact that they had tried to convince everyone else in the room to do it before calling me out. And the shot had been lit the entire time.
And the glass was HOT.
So I put my hand down on it, and it burned, and due to the suction from putting my hand down on it, it stuck. And it burned some more.
Long story short, I now have a circular brand on my hand to remind me never to do that again. |
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| My lips are sealed... |
[Oct. 28th, 2005|12:29 am] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | quiet | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | 3 Doors Down - "Landing in London" | ] |
Note to self:
A glue stick and a chap stick do not share similar functions, despite similarities in structure and mechanism. |
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| Vivid Dream Recipe! |
[Oct. 25th, 2005|01:51 pm] |
I was up until 4 AM last night writing my second bio paper in 2 days. For those of you who have never written a bio paper before, one bio paper is intense, two are out of control.
So all this writing brought on a very interesting dream, in which I was baking and following a recipe for Amaretto/Raspberry brownies (the actual desert I was making in the dream was actually a pie for some reason, but that's dreams for you.)
Now baking dreams are no big deal, I am sure everyone has them from time to time. The interesting thing about this dream, however, was the recipe.
Some steps I remember were fairly normal, like "add sugar" and "place the pie crust in the pan".
But the real secret behind the recipe was such steps as "Incubate the AR293 plasmid in 10ml of desaturase for ten minutes, then add heavy cream" and "place pie in thermal cycler and begin PCR protocol to amplify the pie."
The end of this Biology Major cannot come quickly enough. |
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| Hahaha? |
[Oct. 24th, 2005|12:58 pm] |
I was walking home from class today when I passed a group of three girls, deeply engrossed in conversation. As I was walking by, I caught one of them saying, in such a way that you'd think she'd come up with the phrase herself, "Time flies when you're having fun, girls!"
To which the other two girls responded with hysterical laughter.
I wish I had walked by seconds earlier, because I feel like one of life's great mysteries is what someone can say before that phrase to make it hysterically funny, let alone funny at all. |
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| FINALLY, A MONTH AND A HALF LATER |
[Oct. 20th, 2005|02:08 pm] |
"CONFIRMATION OF COMPLETE APPLICATION
We have received all materials required in support of your application to The Johns Hopkins University School of Medicine. Your application will now be sent to the Committee on Admission for review. This process may take anywhere from several weeks until the end of April before a decision is reached. We will contact you as soon as possible after the Committee has completed its review of your application.
Thank you.
Sincerely,
The Johns Hopkins University
School of Medicine
Office of Admission
733 N. Broadway, Suite G49
Batimore, MD 21205" |
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| Dreams |
[Oct. 17th, 2005|04:07 pm] |
| [ | Tags | | | chicken tenders, dream, ipod, mac | ] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  contemplative | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Aerosmith - "Dream On", or Sister Hazel - "Dreamers", etc. | ] |
I know it's only October, but I had a Christmas dream last night. I was coming home from school and on the way I decided to order a top-of-the-line mac laptop (which I have always said I would buy if I had any money). When I got home, I found a cheaper model waiting for me that Aunt Sue had gotten me for Christmas, as well as the one I had ordered (apparently in the dream world you can place an order in the car and have it there for you when you get home!)
So I convinced Aunt Sue to return the one she had gotten me and give me the money, which she did, and then I opened up the one I had ordered and it was all scratched and beaten up and like the hinge when you open it was broken so the screen would just kind of flop one way or the other. It was pretty upsetting.
I think this may be an omen regarding my thinking about asking Aunt for a new iPod for Christmas, although I can't interpret it. That said, I don't think it's unreasonable for me to think this dream might actually have some significance. I think I do have portentious dreams on occassion.
For example, the night before last I had a dream where I went to the dining hall (except it was my high school cafeteria) and they were serving chicken tenders (my total fave, at least in terms of dining hall food). I woke up all sad because I didn't really get to have chicken tenders, but then I went to dinner last night and guess what they had. That's right. Chicken Tenders. OMG. To top it off they had apple pie too, which I am a big fan of. After eating all those chicken tenders and apple pie, I actually am probably, by weight, a bigger fan. |
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| Hahaha |
[Oct. 15th, 2005|04:33 pm] |
Remember Y2K?
That was awesome. |
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| Wedding |
[Oct. 8th, 2005|01:48 pm] |
I am leaving right now for a wedding in Kingston New York, which of course means only one thing:
OPEN BAR! |
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| Hooray Beer! |
[Oct. 5th, 2005|10:51 am] |
I just spent an hour reading articles, papers, and chapters about econ, and, not surprisingly, the only thing I remember from any of it is the article I read about the distribution of Guinness in Cameroon. |
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| These clippers shall clip no more. |
[Oct. 2nd, 2005|10:49 pm] |
Really cheap nail clippers?
...or really strong toenail? |
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| Mall Security |
[Oct. 1st, 2005|12:33 pm] |
I went to the mall today, and every time I walked in or out of a store, the beeping security things would go off. So each time the employee would come over and check to make sure I hadn't stolen anything, and when they realized I hadn't taken anything they would let me go on my way.
This happened like 7 or 8 times before I went to Old Navy. So I walked into Old Navy, and the alarm went off. Now, an important component of this story is that every article of clothing I am wearing today (like most days) is from Old Navy. So an attendant walks up to check on me. She asks me to open up the corduoroy jacket I bought about a month ago from an Old Navy near home, and points out a security tag which is apparently still attached to the inside of the coat.
I had noticed this tag before, it said "Remove this tag before wearing or washing", but I never really paid attention to it. Well this lady asks me to remove the jacket and come with her. So I am trying desparately to get across the point that I just walked into the store, so how could I have had time to take the jacket and put it on. Furthermore, I point out that it is clearly well worn.
Anyway, I didn't get arrested, and I managed to keep my jacket. But I think this is someone's way of letting me know that maybe I should try owning some clothes that are from somewhere other than Old Navy. |
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| Sausage guy? |
[Sep. 29th, 2005|04:39 pm] |
I went to the grocery store to get italian sausage for a dish I am preparing tonight, and as I was picking it up, a fat guy next to me leaned over and said, "You look like the kind of guy who enjoys a good italian sausage."
WTF???? |
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| Raincoat |
[Sep. 26th, 2005|06:01 pm] |
| [ | Tags | | | lazy, raincoat, wet | ] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  hypothermic | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Stephen Kellogg and the Sixers - "Flower in Rain" | ] |
At some point I am going to need to work up the energy to walk down to my car, which is ten feet from the door to my house, and get my raincoat out. Because being wet sucks. |
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| A quick story about making a girl cry. |
[Sep. 22nd, 2005|11:22 am] |
Recently I was informed by ![[info]](http://p-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif) jennicakes about the closing of an independent bookstore (we will heretofore call "Jennicakes Books") near her place of residence, which for the sake of protecting her privacy, we will refer to as "Jennicakes Town".
I was in a class today when I noticed a girl had a tote bag from this independent bookstore, and immediately I decided I had to demonstrate my knowledge of Jennicakes Town to her, and my knowledge of this independent bookstore, which was now closed.
On the way out of class I approached the girl and asked, "Are you from Jennicakes Town?" to which she, taken aback, responded, "Yes! How do you know Jennicakes Town?" "Oh, my brother lives out there. I saw your bag from Jennicakes Books and decided you must be from there". So we chatted a little while about all of the excitement of Jennicakes Town, and she said, "It's great living there if only because of Jennicakes Books, which is my favorite store of all time."
At this point, I made a crucial mistake. I blurted out, in an attempt to show off just how connected I am to Jennicakes Town, "Oh, you are aware that Jennicakes Books closed down, right?"
Her face changed immediately from the kind of delight and surprise you get when you have the opportunity to talk to a complete stranger about your hometown to a mixture of anger, despair, and sadness. "You're kidding, right?"
Well at this point I had to make an excuse to get out of there because I felt like a total jackass, so I pretended like I had to go to a class and said it was nice talking to her and I'm sorry for her loss, and then I ran away.
On one hand, I hope that I was misinformed regarding the closing of Jennicakes Books, as this girl would not have lost her other store. On the other hand, I really hope it did close, because otherwise I would have made this girl cry for nothing. |
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